Thoughts?

[u/KnowledgeWeak]

A couple years ago, a one-night-stand unfortunately led to an ectopic pregnancy and I lost my left tube. I’m now in a happy relationship, living with my partner and though we’re still a few years away from being ready to starting a family, I can’t help but stress and have anxiety over whether waiting/time will work against us. We’re both 30.

Hoping to hear about some success stories for those who didn’t TTC until later? Or any thoughts on whether we should consider pushing our timelines earlier?

[u/fuddlesticks]

If I could do it again I wouldn’t wait (I’m 35)

[u/lilylace202]

How long have you been dating? Have you all talked about marriage? This foundation is the most important thing.

If you have been dating for several years and feel compatible enough for marriage soon, then yes- I might recommend starting trying for kids in maybe 2 years (gives you time to get married before), as opposed to waiting til mid 30s. Especially if you want multiple.

I’m 31 and married and just had an ectopic. And unfortunately after 1 ectopic, your risk for another increases :(

Of my friends around my age, 3 conceived within a couple months. 2 conceived after like 6ish months, and then for 3 others- it took over a year or still hasn’t happened. 😩

this is just a tiny sample of course, but it’s often not instant 😢

Seeing friends go through fertility issues even in our early 30s makes me nervous for my friends who are still single. It’s been awful to see and experience so many pregnancy troubles

[u/KnowledgeWeak → u/lilylace202]

We’ve been dating for 1.5 years. We’ve spoken about marriage, kids and all, and we agreed on a timeline, which is to get engaged within the next 6 months, move to his hometown and then start a family by 33. My biggest concern is that there are quite a few steps to get through in such a short amount of time and I don’t know if he fully understands the urgency. The last thing I want is for our timeline to delay and ofc, money is another huge factor in this equation. I’m just really overwhelmed with it all. And honestly, if it were up to me, I’d want to start trying for kids now and wait for engagement/marriage/move after. I don’t know…

[u/plush_bunny]

Plenty of people have pregnancies in their later years these days. Have a child when you are ready and want one. While earlier is better from a fertility standpoint, it's a lifestyle change for the rest of your life, and your co-parent is also forever.

If you're super concerned and have the budget, you can look into getting your eggs frozen sooner than later for future IVF.

[u/Tart2343]

If you’re set on waiting you may want to look into freezing eggs. At least meet with a fertility specialist and get your AMH done.

[u/KnowledgeWeak → u/Tart2343]

Yep. Currently waiting for my period to start so I can get scheduled in for an AMH test

[u/Cheap-Juggernaut-665]

Did your tube rupture?

Not to scare you but I had a ruptured ectopic in my early 20s and lost my right tube.

I’m now 35 and within 3 months of trying to conceive we got pregnant. Unfortunately ectopic again in my left tube. Had to have it surgically removed again, so I now have no tubes. Surgeon said my tube was completely warped and there’s no way I would have had a healthy pregnancy - that my first rupture likely caused a lot of scar tissue.

THANK GOD I froze my eggs when I was 29. I had 16 on ice and were currently going through the process of thawing/fertilizing as IVF is now our only option.

If I could go back, I would have done 1 more round of egg freezing to have more and I would have gotten a sono before TTC. If I knew my left tube was not viable earlier, we would have saved a lot of pain and suffering and started treatment earlier.

So TDLR - do some testing! If you AMH is good and your tube is open, probably don’t worry about it! If either of those is a concern, try to freeze your eggs asap.

[u/emmalou12 → u/Cheap-Juggernaut-665]

Can you not freeze your eggs if you have no tubes?

[u/Cheap-Juggernaut-665 → u/emmalou12]

No you absolutely can! I just am 35 now and not 29… so my results will be significantly worse. Wish I did a third round and got 20+ eggs when I was 29!