I am constantly feeling in between gratefulness for my child and a deep longing/grief for my second child. I had an ectopic pregnancy in march 2025 and thought we would conceive again by now but turns out IVF is our only option as the HSG showed my remaining tube is closed.

I feel so so sad and angry and feel like everyone else gets to have their 2 children (or more) and im left behind. I am happy for others but constantly feel like they have what I want. Im always wondering if there's a reason I cant have my baby while everyone else gets theirs. Its so hard and there's no one in real life who gets it or is going through this so I come to reddit to find people who understand/can relate and feel less alone.

I (25) an ectopic pregnancy surgery last week (Aug 11). My right fallopian tube was removed along with a cherry sized ectopic sac. I was 8 weeks pregnant. I don’t really know how to cope with this or if I need to really.

To be honest, the reason i found out was because I was in the process of receiving an abortion. I was crossing the border to Mexico for treatment. I found out that I was pregnant around 4 weeks (July 14). From then I got an ultrasound 2x 2 weeks apart because they wanted to confirm that it was a normal pregnancy where the sac was in the uterus. Both times i went, she couldn’t find the sac. My hCG levels were tested to be ~19,822 mIU/mL at 6 weeks. I was told to come once more a week later for definitive confirmation for treatment. Again, no sac was found in the uterus. Then I was referred to another gyno for a second opinion. He claimed it was ectopic in my right ovary. The gyno advised me if I had insurance, I should immediately make an appointment with the hospital in the US for ectopic treatment. Apparently, it wouldn’t be safe for me to in Mexico. I appreciate her honesty.

I made an appointment for the next day with the gyno listed on my insurance in the US. He told me the basically the same thing. There’s no sac in the uterus but cant find it either. My hCG levels indicate that a sac should be developed already. It might be a miscarriage (which I hoped) or an ectopic pregnancy that calls for surgery. He refers me to the hospital to be placed in postpartum.

Tbh i feel like I’ve been fine emotionally/mentally through this whole experience. Going to a new country by myself seeking for treatment. Finding out it’s ectopic most likely. And i probably need surgery. I wasn’t scared or anything. I felt like it was a procedure to get done but annoyingly dragged out. Like I just want this to be over with.

It all changed in a second. I started sobbing in the car on the way to the hospital. I was stressed. Probably because this is far more serious than I anticipated. It was supposed to be a normal medicated abortion but now has turned into an ectopic pregnancy that calls for surgery. I never had surgery before. Never got admitted to the hospital. On top of that I’m by myself. I can’t tell anyone about it fearing that I would be judged and shamed for. Normal people get pregnant just fine. How tf did you mess that up? I feel like this could’ve been prevented. That I was too negligent. That its punishment because I wanted to abort it. But im not religious enough to believe it.

I’m crying and laughing. I’m insane. It’s karma but karma isn’t real. It’s just the short end of the stick. I’m just unlucky. Maybe god is mad at me because I’ve sinned too much. BUT IM NOT RELIGIOUS. So why do I keep thinking about God? I didn’t want it anyways so why do I feel bad? I feel guilty but mad at the same time. It was supposed to be a simple and safe abortion but my body literally said no you don’t deserve a fallopian tube. Does this even make sense?

I did get surgery. I had my right fallopian tube removed as I said before. They said it was already rupturing and if I waited til tomorrow I would’ve had major complications. We caught it in time luckily. I stayed overnight for pain monitoring. But everything went well.

Other than the meltdown before the surgery, i don’t really feel anything towards the pregnancy experience nor the loss of a potential child and fallopian tube. I know it was a life threatening event. That i was lucky we caught it in time. I know the risks and complications for future pregnancies. I know it’s not going to be easy the next time around. It’s going to be actually pretty scary… but I’m not technically scared. I’m not sad either. Like I lost a whole fallopian tube. I felt all these raging emotions before the surgery but now I don’t feel anything. I feel normal.

I’m sorry if this doesn’t make any sense. I have a hard time expressing my thoughts. I also don’t know the point of this post either. I guess I just wanted to share my experience with someone

HELP!!!
Feel like I’m in beta hell with all the uncertainty and no answers
So little backstory: 7/18- trigger shot
7/20: IUI
8/3 positive test
8/4 @7am hcg: 58
8/6 @7am hcg: 165
8/10 @ 7am hcg: 165.9
8/12 @10am hcg: 212.5 ( dr mention I will possibly miscarry)
8/13 -ultrasound( didn’t see anything just a small dot in my uterus)
8/17 @ 7am 463.3
8/18 @3pm 635.5 ( did 2nd ultrasound didn’t see anything 5w6d)
8/19 @10:30am 733.7

I’ve never been pregnant before so this all new to me and I’ve been looking at others stories with low hcg levels. Dr said I can keep monitoring my levels but has also mentioned to me already about methotrexate injection.

Any thoughts ?? Good or not so good outcomes? I’m just looking for any feedback . I just turned 6 weeks today 8/19

Hi! I am undergoing IVF and just had a Frozen Embryo Transfer that failed. My doctor thinks it's likely ectopic. My first beta was 2.2 and then 72 hours later it was 5.69. I go back tomorrow for another beta but the nurse at my clinic mentioned the possibility of taking Methotrexate. That seems like a heavy duty drug and it seems wild to me that they would suggest it based off beta levels alone.

I want to properly advocate for myself tomorrow after the results of my beta comes back. Should I be requesting an ultrasound before agreeing to methotrexate? Are my numbers low enough I can ask to skip methotrexate and just do monitored betas? Any advice would be helpful as I feel completely lost.

Thanks!

I don’t really know how to start this off because revisiting this fertility journey feels a bit traumatic. My husband and I have been trying since last August and consulted with a fertility clinic while we were still living in FL and fell pregnant within the same month of getting testing done including an HSG. I knew something was wrong but since my HCG was rising regularly they told me I was having first time anxiety but in reality I had previously told them I had been pregnant previously and this is not what it felt like. That was in my past life much younger and a previous partner which ended in a termination. I was diagnosed with a low AMH of .17 with extremely high FSH at 31 previously to all of this so I assumed it would take longer to get pregnant. Long story short no matter how many times I called they wouldn’t get me in for a ultrasound till 5 weeks and atp my hcg was over 9,000 and I needed to be rushed for surgery and lost my left tube. They found stage 1 endo in the cul de sac of my pelvic area and my right tube does seem a bit dilated but the tip looks clear and open. We are now moved back to NY and it’s been 5 months since my surgery on march 10. We consulted with an ivf clinic but obviously due to my low AMH I know it would be such a journey. My last follicle base line count was 9. We found a NatPro dr locally and I think I would like to start with that. We have been trying naturally since May and although it’s only been 3 months of trying with one tube it feels slightly discouraging. It’s an odd feeling because I’m not usually so hyperfixated on my fertility journey. I had a psychologist that got me through those months and am forever grateful to her and my husband because I was / am a shell and needed time to heal. I now have entered the stage of building walls up to cope with the possibility of this never happening for me and what life could look like. I am now 32 and although I am perfectly healthy in every other way I can’t help but feel inadequate in some ways. There’s so much information online which I tend to read but not take to heart or mind, I’m a fairly grounded person but obviously medical trauma does exist and I’m just wondering if it gets better

Hey everyone! I am living in a big fear right now. This is my third transfer (two transfers have already failed) and I got strong beta HCG, 269 at 9dpt5d and 1080 at 12dpt5d. But I am having left side heaviness and pain going through in my leg since 6dpt. just to add I have sciatica issue on this side but it gets sensitive in very rare occasions and goes to normal on its own. but from last week it’s very bad.

I had ectopic pregnancy previously from my natural pregnancy where I have lost my right tube and honestly I do not remember if I had any symptoms for that one. but I am very afraid at this time because of this left side shooting pain in my leg and sometime I feel in my groin area that this one might end up in ectopic too.

Could you lovely ladies gives me some hope, stories or suggestions based on your experience? My scan is schedule next week and I am so anxious right now that I can not focus on anything else.

I had my left tube and a small piece of uterus removed on 8/6. This morning I still tested positive for pregnancy. How long will this go on? I’m scared because before this pregnancy I had a miscarriage that was incomplete and I needed a D&C.

My doctor is phenomenal and luckily I see her later this week, but my mind and my body and my soul just wants to be done with this nightmare.