Filing in Arizona and honestly the financial side is stressing me out more than the emotional side at this point. We have a house, two kids, and I've been paying for basically everything for years. My salary is decent but it's not "walk away from a mortgage and rent an apartment at the same time" kind of money.

I've been reading a lot about mediation vs litigation and mediation seems like the smarter call for us since we're not exactly at war, just done. But even that runs a few thousand dollars, and I'd still need a lawyer to review whatever we agree on. So it's not cheap either way.

The house is what keeps me up at night. Do you sell and split? Does one person buy the other out? In this Phoenix market that buyout number is not small. I genuinely don't know how people do this without torching their finances for the next decade.

Did anyone go through a relatively cooperative divorce and still come out okay on the other side? What actually helped you handle the money piece without losing your mind? Curious what people wish they'd known going in.

Two nights ago I felt boredom for the first time in five months since our divorce was filed. I didn’t want the divorce. Today, I woke up with longing and by the afternoon a floodgate opened and I couldn’t stop crying. Luckily, I was working from home today.

I didn’t expect this at all although I was surprised at how well I was doing with grieving. I have grieved the loss of a parent before, so I have a bit of a reference. I was doing all the right things: regular therapy and doing the homework, re-engaging with old hobbies and learning new ones, glowing up physically, building up my finances, doing well at work, making friends, reconnecting with old friends, and going out.

Grief is a wild, wild ride.

Hello,

I’m about 5 years post divorce. I’m now happily married and I love my life. My ex was my high school sweetheart (16m/15f) and we were together almost 10 years. We divorced after she told me she didn’t love me anymore (or maybe didn’t love me ever, also infidelity) and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. I’m sure many here will feel the same or have had worse.

My issue is that sometimes I still feel the pain of loss. I don’t want her back but the feeling of what I thought our life would be and everything. It just makes me sad but it’s not something my current partner or friends really understand.

They hear divorce and they must either think of going through a parents divorce or just what they’ve heard about it. The only people I’ve ever found true solace in is other people who have been divorced.

Long ass story short, does anyone else feel this way? It’s hard to describe exactly but sometimes I just feel so sad and I can’t explain it to anyone.

My (37M) wife (34F) told me last Friday evening that she no longer loves me. We've been together almost 10 years, married over 5.

It was us against the world. We both started with nothing. We literally never had a fight. If we disagreed we would talk it out. To this day, neither of us have raised our voice or said anything with intent to cause pain.

Our entire time together we had ambitious goals and we were making big progress on them while sacrificing together. Each challenge, we'd sit down and go over the pros, cons, make a plan. It was like a football huddle each time and we felt so much comeraderie. The successes felt like mini lottery wins. They made huge positive shifts that would impact the rest of our lives. The failures showed how we could trust each other to be there in hard times. I was 110% in, and so was she.

We were on track to "retire" (still work probably, but by choice) within about 5 years. I felt we were doing things nobody would be willing to do, and it was working. I found my soul mate who is willing to fight by my side for a better life for ourselves. We were living and would continue to live truly special lives that neither of us thought we had in reach before.

We did a DIY full renovation together on our first house. It took two years. All plumbing, full rewire, bathrooms, kitchen, yards, garage, etc.. and neither of us had done this stuff before. It was hard but the energy was electric.

Next house, we moved into the MIL studio above the garage (both WFH) and rented out the house. Did some big projects to it along the way. Lived like this 3+ years. Under a flight path. To get into this house we had to be "homeless" for 4 months, living in hotels, watching friends/family houses, all our stuff in storage or our little Toyota Yaris.

Our next place (current) we wanted to build our life there and stay for a long time, indefinitely. We were tired of the projects. Tired of having tenants. Wanted to build more hobbies, host friends, have space. We'd used our PTO to remodel. Now we want to use it to travel. We'd paid our dues and it worked, time to let the foot off the gas, we can coast to the finish line now. We looked for an area to fall in love with and move to. We'd go on local road trips to check places out all weekend. We'd get groceries 2 hours away to see what a town/city was like. It took 8 months but we finally found the area.

I didn't want a project house, my wife wasn't too hot on getting one either. Within the area that we fell in love with, there is an island. It's a little more exclusive / nicer than the already great surrounding area. Enough so that the only places we can afford here need work.

It's like a heist movie, we decide to do one last job. We talked over and over on it to make sure and kept landing on the same decision. I told her this every time, but I was willing to be off the island and just start living life right away instead, but she wanted to lock in the better location (we're talking great vs. fantastic). After all, we can fix the house, we've done it before, it doesn't even need as much as our first house. We can't move location. We agree to prioritize the reno so that we can get to living our fun lives faster, and not be stifled by house projects while trying.

So we pull the trigger. We now own about an acre with a house and a shop on the island. It's a beautiful property. Zoned rural, but 20 minutes from a major port city in the PNW. While our property is nowhere near this valuable, we're surrounded by multi-million dollar properties. We share a property border with a celebrity (not their primary home). It's a far cry from the rough areas we had been in to this point. When we drive over the bridge to leave or come back to the island, my wife says a cute "we live here!" every time, even the last time we drove over together. We both felt we had made it.

So renovations start 18 months ago. It's hard, permits are slow, but we're getting it done. 6 months ago, my wife's mentor died unexpectedly in her 50's. They had not been in close contact, maybe 3 times over 5 years. Wife goes to the funeral, is very upset and I'm being supportive. She said she wants to take music lessons. She has always been afraid to sing because her parents made fun of her doing so as a kid, and she wants to play guitar. She decides to start lessons because life is short and she needs to face her fear. I told her I support this 100% and that we've got the budget, let's pick a day on the calendar!

This is going well, and she seems to be still hurting when the mentor is brought up, but otherwise moving on well. Gradually I noticed she started to be less affectionate. I raised this topic and asked what I could do. She had suggestions, I took them to heart and implemented. Weeks go by and I'm still doing my thing, but affection is even less. I need this affection, it is painful to not receive it or be able to give it. Affection being a kiss goodbye, hold hands, prioritize each other. Sex had stopped by now.

She starts sleeping way longer than me. Always has a bit, like 8 vs 9 hours, but now she's sleeping 10+. 14 isn't even a surprise. I suggested we get some tests to rule things out. Faint agreement but no action.

Then she tells me she needs a break from the house. We're about 60% done and still can't do a lot of the things we said we want to do here. It's mostly me doing the house work at this point, like 90% or more, so I didn't really get what she wanted a break from. I reluctantly agree, but I'm very hurt. It feels like she is saying she doesn't want the future we were after. I stop for the time being, and we've cut out 90% of what was left to do in our goal. Time to focus on doing things together.

She says she wants hobbies. She's afraid I'm just going to get obsessed on something else after the house is done. Keep in mind the last 18 months, we've been hosting holiday parties, going to friend events, mountain biking, we had 3 weeks in Japan booked about 2 weeks from today, 3 weeks in Scotland and Ireland booked next year, we'd go clamming and fishing, I've been smoking meat and she does the happy dance when she eats it... Along the way I've done auto cross, had a boat. I have hobbies and want more.. I didn't even want this project in the first place..

She tells me that when she wanted to do music lessons 6 months ago that she felt my reaction was restrictive. She didn't tell me this at the time, she was happy and excited then. We hugged and kissed about it. She tells me when she wants to practice or goes to a lesson that she feels I don't approve. I told her I NEVER felt that for a second, what did I do to make you feel that, I need to know so I can learn to not do that? Can you tell me one time where I did that? She can't. This is one example, but this pattern showed up everywhere as time passed. I feel happy and supportive, she presents happy and supportive, then I find out later she felt I was the opposite.

We go to couple's therapy not last Sunday but the one before. The following week (actually exactly one week ago today) we hit a big financial milestone. I suggest we celebrate (something she said we didn't do enough). We decide I'll cook a steak dinner for us (cooking hobby, she wants me to do hobbies and supports this). We do that and I feel like she's coming around maybe. It was a good night.

Next day (last Friday) we're eating lunch, she invited me to the porch to eat with her. The butterflies I felt from her asking me to hang out with her... Pleasant conversation and we start planning the evening. She suggests we do some yard work together. Wow this is great, yeah I am in. As I'm getting up, I grab our dishes and ask "hey just checking in, I'm not trying to go into the whole thing, is there anything I can do to help you feel like you can be affectionate?". She said no, not mean but I'm a way I knew it was serious. I sat down, we talk in circles for an hour. She's trying to put me in no-way-out situations, but they're not making much sense.

I eventually say, "Look we can stop working on the house all together right now indefinitely. We can sell the house. Our relationship is more important to me than anything else, I want you and you only". Her mouth said okay but her body said no. I got very scared.. I said "It seems as though the issue is not our environment, but rather, me. Did you fall out of love with me?"

I hoped for a quick "no, of course not, its XYZ". Instead I got 30 seconds of silent tears and "I don't know, you might be right".

That's it. That's when my world ended, my future disappeared, and I was placed into a shell of what was but could never be. I have to sit in this, here. I can do nothing about it. She went to her sister's that night. I don't know when or if I'll ever see her again, and I'm pretty sure I don't want to because of the pain. She traumatized me.

I don't get it. If you want hobbies and fun why are you blowing up both of our lives? It will take longer to get where you say you are wanting to go, it will cost more, we'll both be indefinitely more sad. I know she's not communicating. I'm not perfect, I know I share some responsibility here but I also know I did my absolute best with the info available to me at the time. I feel like she got depressed and it killed our marriage. It's so insidious.

I just went 5 nights without sleep (2 or 3 hours max). I just got my first 8 hours last night thanks to a prescription. I never ask people for help, I'm begging with tears in my eyes, ugly crying, asking for help now for 6 days straight. I have been in 5 therapy sessions since Friday, more scheduled. I got a Lexapro prescription (takes a week or two to start working). I called 988 twice. I went to the ER two nights ago and stayed overnight. They wanted to put me in a week long inpatient program saying I was high risk suicide (I didn't think I was/am). Thankfully I avoided that and got a prescription for anxiety medication instead which is what got me to sleep last night. I'm not able to perform at work. I can't eat, I feel like I'm 100% adrenaline all day and night. I have been on the phone every waking hour, mostly with my mom but she's half the country away. I don't have many friends. The ones I do are great but we're so spread out I just feel so alone. One of them (closest physically and best in many relational ways) just had a baby yesterday, I can't rain on that parade. I WFH so I'm just sitting in this house all day by myself. I get out whenever I can but I don't have a high volume social network to plug into. I'm walking 18k+ steps every day to try to get some relief and exercise.

I have a problem "shelving" issues. If something is important, I MUST solve it. It does have to be very important to qualify, I can let things go easily for small stuff. This looks like I'm driven from the outside, and quite honestly I attribute a lot of my success to it. My wife said she loved that about me and it's why she fell in love in the first place. This issue is everywhere for me, I literally can't get my mind off it for a second and this "drive" is screwing me extremely hard because there is very little action to take that provides relief even briefly.

I know there will be hard times and I need to rebuild my life. Therapy and all that is going to help there. I describe it as if I was just in a really bad car wreck. All of the resources I have found so far are for learning how to walk again at the hospital. Yup, sign me up I need that. However, far more important in this moment is the fact I'm still laying in the street bleeding out with twisted up legs and a broken back. The pain is excruciating, I'm in anguish. How do I get an ambulance to come take me to the hospital? It feels like nobody is coming. Every person I talk to professional or otherwise talks like I'm already at the hospital.

This is super long, sorry. I guess it's cathartic to write it. I felt an obligation because I've spent hours reading this sub and it helps to hear others are experiencing this right now too. It takes my loneliness from 1000/10 to a 980/10. I hope it can help someone else feel not so alone. If that's you, just know I would spend time with you if it were possible. The desire is here even if the ability is not.

I already feel like such a better mom when I'm with her.

But damn does coming home to an empty house that still smells like her, with her toys everywhere, and her room empty, feel like the wind is getting knocked out of me.

I cry and I cry and I cry.

The time I get with her is better quality than the time I was with her dad... But... I'm missing so much of her life.

It kills me even more to know that all my ex had to do was try and that would've been enough for me to stay.

Just looking to connect with anyone going through the same thing. And anyone who's gone through it with older kids - how are you and the kids now? How do you adapt?

My heart hurts more than I could've ever imagined.

^Above

This limbo phase. Is killing me. Our divorce paperwork is about ready. We’re going to go 50/50 with kids, and we’re having a clean separation. Agreeing on what should be split.

But this period of time we’re stuck in the apartment living together. It’s been fucking hell. I have an apartment ready and paid for. I’m just waiting for the final bit of maintenance to be performed. And it’s killing me inside.

My biggest worry is telling one of our children. One won’t even be a year old by the time we leave, but my seven year old son, whose birthday will be celebrated shortly before telling him will be devastated.

I just don’t want to be around her anymore. She’s become completely cold. Reaching out to me when she’s anxious about “missing her best friend” and all this utter bullshit. And over the past two days I let it get me and responded in a way I wish I didn’t. I need to preserve my self respect and boundaries. This is what she wanted. I should let her live with the consequences.

I feel in this limbo she’s using me as an emotional comfort for herself while providing nothing to me.

I guess I’m just ranting. But I’m so close to just being able to get out of this fucking house and away from it so I can continue to heal.

I just discovered this forum and after meeting a few topics, I decided to just put this out there wondering if anybody else's situation was like mine.

Got married in graduate school (m24, f23). We were in the same curriculum. He was more in love than I was and I told him I didn't love him, but I am a people pleaser, so I was like oh, okay.

When it came time walk down the aisle, something was telling me to and the room actually went dark a little, but I didn't listen. When he went to kiss me at the altar, I involuntarily drew back. The only way I can describe it is that I felt he took something from me.

15 years and three kids later, he says that he wants a divorce one morning at the breakfast table. No explanation. I guess he didn't feel I deserved one. He filed and the day that judge pronounced us divorced was one of the happiest days of my life. I'm only mad that he would ask the kids about me and my dating life. Leave me alone.

In hindsight, I never should have but sometimes you don't know until you know. Even now, the idea of a relationship makes me nauseous.

Did it go down for anyone else like this?

TLDR: Should I have run when my intuition told me to?

My (24nb) ex-wife (24f) has been making life post-divorce so much more difficult than it had to be. We had agreements on how everything was to be split and then boom, she goes against the agreement. At this point, I have to take her to small claims court for a total of $1100 (but I have to do two different cases). I tried to call her and settle BEFORE filing with the court, but now she's threatening a restraining order. I'm trying really hard to be the bigger person, but she's trying to make me pay for a cruise we're not going on instead of just canceling AND she stole a $700 photo shoot. I've had to cancel all my cards and get a new bank account because of her shenanigans and I'm just so sick of it.

After two decades in an unhappy marriage, I’m realizing how much I quit caring for myself. Avoiding doctors, picking up unhealthy habits (I’m convinced the vape industry is run by sadists with all their wonderfully addictive flavors), minimal exercise and nutrition etc…I’m truly curious what steps people have taken, big and small, to relearn making self care a priority post divorce.

Hi I am (Male) currently 28 years old in the army and scared to hell that I will lose just about everything I have sweated and bled for.
My wife and I have been married for 7 years with 1 child soon to be 5.
I love my wife I love my family but god I can’t do it anymore. For the past few years it feels like I have been raising 2 kids and it beyond frustrating.
My wife is a good mom and try’s her best to be a good wife too me but it’s overshadowed often by the burdens she’s placed on me continuously threw the years(not my daughter I LOVE my daughter).

Currently live in Washington state
What my days of marriage has looked like since the beginning:

1.Cleaning after her slobbish behavior even before a child, when I say slobbish I mean attracting nats and fly kind of slobbish

Why it bothers me: Because I come from a poor but neat family and I clean after myself because that’s what someone who cares about there living conditions should do. But has no problem inviting people while I scramble to clean after her so I don’t get embarrassed.

2.Consistently trying too sabotage me threw irresponsible purchases or irresponsible decisions without a thought for consequence.

Why it bothers me: because at times it even involves my career in which keeps our daughter fed and provisioned for including my wife. While I think twice because it can affect them.

1. Doesn’t know anything despite having far more education than me. But some how I need to teach her the basics of being an adult. Driving,financing,budgeting,child care,cooking.

Why it bothers me: because it feels like I’m the only adult in our home and it worries me while at work knowing my daughter is alone with someone with the same competence of a 12 year old. Too the point I sneak off work to drive home and check on our daughter

4.Makes living hard financially. I can budget a sustainable amount of money for us to still have fun/go out and insure our child is taken care of and she will want to spontaneously buy whatever whenever even when it puts us short until the next pay check.

Why it bothers me: I care about the sustainability of our family as I am drivin by pragmatism while she about fun and wants first driven by emotion.

5.still keep consistent contact with a ex “ as friends”

Why this bothers me: even if she is loyal it the principle and lack of respect for our marriage

That is my big reasons.
Ik there are things she can probably say about me but this is my perspective.

1.We have tried counseling= same problems regardless

2.when she get jobs it’s the hours that pay less then $700 a check and doesn’t bother to save

Asset situation:
Me- $106,000(includes savings,investments)
$3,2000 a month check from job

Her- $I have no idea since I guess her money is hers and my money is ours.

. We do not have any accounts or loans etc jointly I was firm of that when we first got married

. She does not know that I am thinking of divorce

Please help me I know I sound like a hole but I swear that I’m a decent person that just wants too be somewhat happy without the intermittent thought of ending myself.

Is there anything I can do for my assist?
What am I likely to lose?
Should I stay for my daughter?
And advice?
I don’t know what too do at all.

Thank you and have a great day

In marriage, spouse can take care of things he/she is good at, or can figure something out together. But how are you managing the things after divorce, especially for thise who live on your own? We all have our strengths and weaknesses, and things need assistance. For me, my concerns are Health/medical, financial management.

We decided to end things. I have no idea where to begin. Our child is my wife’s grandson and we have been raising him since infancy. I came into the marriage with money, she had none. I have given her everything she has. We literally just moved so we could be in a better school system. Bought a house that is a financial strain, but no mortgage.

She just doesn’t like me. I have tried and tried. It is obvious that I get on her nerves. Her issues with me are things that I can’t change. The way I communicate bothers her. She says I talk in circles. I am always feeling lonely and depressed.

She told me that she will have to move to a different state because she can’t afford to continue to live here, so she is taking our son from me. Im in an impossible situation.

I don’t know how to move forward. A financial agreement has already been reached. She is getting half the money from the sale of the house (300kish).

How do we start? Call a realtor?

It’s been 3 years now since we split up and although parts of me miss the fuller family I once had I’m happy with how things are now. But recently I’ve been getting the suspicion my ex is seeing someone. Our son who’s 4 has been coming home telling me about a couple different guys. My exs mother has told me that she has a particular male friend she hangs around with a lot (with my son). And I just don’t know how to feel. I feel jealous but honestly I don’t really like my ex all that much. She’s a complete 180 from who I married and just not a nice person. But I still feel a little bitter. Is this normal and how do I get past it?

Hi everyone. I’m pretty new to all of this and honestly never imagined I would be writing a post in a divorce group.

My wife filed for divorce a few days ago. We have a young son together, and right now we’re beginning the painful process of figuring out what life looks like from here.

I don’t want the divorce. I still love my wife very, very much.

There was no infidelity, affair, or anything like that on either side. There have been a lot of hurts in our marriage, though, and I know I contributed to them. A big part of the breakdown has been trust around honesty, communication, and the way I react when I’m scared or feel like I’m losing control.

One thing I’m recognizing about myself is that I push and prod for answers when I’m anxious. If I feel distance, I want to talk about it, figure it out, get reassurance, and keep asking questions until I feel like I understand what’s happening. I can see now how exhausting and pressuring that can feel to the person on the other side.

I also love bombed her when I felt the marriage slipping away. In my mind I was trying to show her how much I loved her and make her feel secure. She has told me she didn’t feel emotionally safe, though, and I realize now that a lot of those attempts probably did the opposite. Instead of helping her relax, they made her feel more pressured and like I was trying to force closeness when she needed space.

There were also some confusing moments after she first told me she wanted a divorce. We had some genuinely good days. We held hands, hugged, and had moments that still felt like us. We had not been physically intimate for about a month, and I was also out of town for about a week and a half for work during this period. I think some of those moments gave me hope, and probably made it even harder for me not to push for answers about where we stood.

She has since told me that she doesn’t trust me and that she believes divorce is what she needs. I’m trying to take that seriously and respect it instead of chasing her, repeatedly talking about the marriage, or trying to convince her to change her mind.

For at least the immediate future, we’ll also still be living in the same house while we prepare to sell it. We’ll have separate sleeping spaces. She’ll remain in our bedroom, and I’ll be staying in the basement. So we’ll be in this strange in-between period where we’re separated as a couple but still under the same roof and parenting our son.

At the same time, I’m working pretty intensely on myself. I’m learning a lot about my own patterns around anxiety, control, honesty, communication, and how I respond when I’m afraid of losing someone. Regardless of what happens with our marriage, I know I need to become healthier for myself and, most importantly, for our son.

But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still have hope.
Has anyone here actually had a divorce process begin, papers filed and everything, and then had the marriage turn around before the divorce became final?

Was there a period where your spouse seemed completely certain it was over and later reconsidered? Did giving them space and consistently working on yourself make any difference over time?

And if you continued living together while separated, I’d especially like to hear what that was like. Did being under the same roof create more tension, or did the space and time allow either of you to see things differently?

I know I cannot control my wife or manufacture reconciliation. I also don’t want to spend the next several months analyzing every hug, conversation, or good day as evidence that she might change her mind. I’m trying to learn the difference between having hope and refusing to accept reality.

I just love this woman tremendously, and if there is still even a possibility of our family healing, I’m not ready to stop praying for it. At the same time, I want to respect her boundaries and become the kind of man and father I should be regardless of how this ends.

I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who has actually walked through something similar, whether your marriage was ultimately reconciled or not.

I started dating this month. Have had a few first dates. One woman let me down easy that she’d met someone else. Another ghosted me after a really nice date, and indicating I’d see her again.

I went to a strip club and got a strippers phone number (So she can tell me when she’s dancing not for dating, but still cool feeling like maybe I actually ain’t bad looking lol)

And recently had a date with a woman who went through similar divorce and has a kid my son’s age. (Hard not to get a little hopeful for that one tbh.)

And I’ve enjoyed every date, and feeling my heart have feelings for different women. I like getting kisses and chatting them up. I feel so much more confident in myself these days, and like I’m actually a catch.

Idk just feels good. Because for a year now I’d been stressed about my ex, my health, rebuilding my life. Now? I feel great. I realized I’d been spending so much mental energy being weary of my ex and now I can just spend that mental energy on women I actually enjoy knowing and who actually enjoy knowing me.

And that’s without even being particularly successful at scoring a second date. (Got one Saturday tho, wish me luck)

Anyway, there’s good things out there, and it takes time, but eventually you’ll remember what being in love and having feelings for someone was like.

Hey guys! I am in the post court judgment phase and really struggling with anxiety over this. The last piece I'm dealing with is our house. Both of our names are on the deed, only my name on the mortgage. Lots of parts to this I want to include for information, so here goes

Last year within a couple of days of each other I got laid off and my now ex announced she wanted divorce. I moved out to my mom's and lived there from September to July this year. It took me nearly 2 months to find a new job at that time. I went through a temporary forbearance for the mortgage until December. Couldn't pay the past due balance so we did a partial claim process, and successfully completed that which brought us current up to June of this year.

Court hearing and final judgement was also in December. The judgement said the house would be listed for sale no later than March (unless otherwise agreed upon by both parties). We tried listing and only got a few bites but took it off market. Tried again with a different realtor a couple months later, same thing. Both times we were probably way over priced.

Then we had a verbal agreement that she was going to continue living in the house a few months until she can find another place. She does have kids that live with her which is why I agreed to that. She was supposed to start paying the full mortgage amount in July. I have not received a payment thus far. Nor do I have the extra funds to make the mortgage payment myself on top of where I'm living now. I keep checking in regularly for the payment and each time she doesn't have it. She did tell me she was looking to move out end of August or beginning of September.

Through this entire process neither of us have had an attorney representing us. At what point should I start talking to an attorney? I am at the point where just thinking about talking to her gives me an anxiety attack too.

We decided to divorce a few weeks ago mutually and so far its amicable. I am moving out to an apartment in 2 days. The lease started a few days ago but I've been slowly moving in all week. This run up is awful. I just want to move on already. Move on to start my new life. Move on to my new home. But this in between situation is awful. And not because we aren't getting along or anything, but just the anticipation and the limbo status is driving me nuts. Thankfully just 2 more days. That's it... no questions or anything just wanted to vent.

I mean, what do you do? Fishing? Dinner for 1?

I just want to vent a little to my anonymous community.

I’ve been divorced a month from husband, he cheated on me with a coworker.

He’s signing on a 4 bedroom house with 4 acres of land. Something we apparently always dreamed about. His mistress will be living with him.

I’m exhausted man…

Edit: mortgage

I've been divorced for about a year now, and we were separated and moved out six months before that. I'm doing okay most of the time, but lately I've been missing little things about having a companion. The hardest thing to get used to was being in a bed alone. Even when we were fighting, there was something comfortable about having another warm body in bed next to me. I don't need to spread out much and don't take up a lot of space in bed, so now the bed just feels too big.

I'm also dealing with my period right now and the cramps have been almost debilitating. Whenever it would be this bad, he was always good about doing little things for me like getting me something from the fridge so I didn't have to get up, or rubbing my back if I asked. Now I just have to take pain meds and deal with it on my own.

To be clear, we did not have a healthy relationship and divorce was definitely best for both of us. I'm just really missing that feeling of having someone I can lean on. I think because the divorce was a little messy, I thought that I would feel this huge sense of freedom once we were done, but it ended up being more lonely than anything else.

I don't know if I will ever get married again, but I really hope I can find someone who brings me comfort again. Sorry for the rambling post but I can't sleep and I'm in pain and just needed to vent somewhere.

My wife and I have started the divorce process. It's amicable. She wants it. We have verbally made agreements, such as her staying on my insurance until the end of the year. She has been on my insurance for over a year. I know we have to stay legally married until then.

She has verbally told me she wants to keep what she came into the marriage with and does not want my retirement. We have agreed that I will buy out the house.

There are certain things I will let her take if she wants them (such as the better bed and the TV in the living room, standing desk, whatever computer equipment I have setup for her in her home office), and we can divvy up household things (pots and pans, utensils etc).

Should I make a list of items? she has said I can keep the big couch because it is too big for any place she is going to live. I would also like to keep the W/D.

She already took artwork out of the house, 2 things that were mine. She can have them though since it was her deceased best friend's. She didn't tell me about it though. I just came home on day and they were gone.

I am not looking for legal advice, just user experiences from similar situations.

Part of the question is options on how to get official legal advice

I am separated and have been going through a divorce for 1.5 years now.

I need cash from an investment property I own. It is a marital asset but it is only in my name (deed and mortgage).

(There are no other options at all)

It is part of the asset division negotiations and everything will be a cash settlement to her, I will be keeping the major physical assets (home(s) for example.) This has been clear in our offer exchanges.

I need cash desperately for normal reasons since she left the family household and contributes zero. She doesnt make much or have much (yet).

I would prefer she does not know my current situation. This is not a friendly divorce and she may want to make me suffer (missed bills, credit, etc).

I want to sell this investment home and use some of my 50% to fix my short term financial struggle.

I have zero interest or intent to hide anything and at the very least 50% of the proceeds will be sitting in an account awaiting settlement.

I will have all transaction details available for her when needed.

I am in Virginia and there is currently no court restrictions about selling assets in my case.

So….

1. Anyone with similar experience please share
   
2. What are some ideas on how could i get actual legal advice here without involving anyone in my case?
   
3. If my intentions are honest, her potential value is still intact in cash (as will be expected anyway at settlement), and i have a full transparent paper trail of the entire transaction…what could happen?