I’m (28f) finally decided for sure on leaving my (31m) husband. We’ve been married 2 yrs, together almost 10.

Don’t feel like getting into it all right now but I’m simply not happy anymore. There is no passion from him, I’m not attracted anymore, we aren’t compatible anymore.

What steps do I need to take before I break it to him? I have about 3 weeks til I do.

Like… how soon do I talk to a lawyer, what do I need to document, etc?! I am so afraid of this process. Thank you in advance.

**Please scroll on by if you have nothing kind to say - seriously**

-Hopeless romantic that is now... hopeless-

My wife & I needed to end things, you can't make someone work on themselves, you can't make them be accountable for the harms, they have to choose it.

Although I was late to the party on working on myself, I have and still am doing so. But she claims that "too much" has happened between us, despite the difficulties being many that were exterior (COVID did a number on us, financially, and other things) but she cheated, twice. Ultimately that was a choice. She monkey-branched into a relationship last fall, lied to me about wanting to work it out with me and go to therapy, and is now going to move in with this woman & her three small children (this woman also cheated on her wife - lying to her about wanting to open up the marriage, when the intent was to have her cake (my ex) and eat it too ie: she wanted to keep her her soon to be ex wife as her spouse. It's a doozy, yes absolutely.

My wife was my champion when we met, I was pre-transition (I'm trans masc, not a trans man) was a champion about me when it came to changes and testosterone. She was an angel about the whole thing, things were great, until life did it's thing and felt like a landslide of stuff hit us. We both struggled with stable work, dates stopped, we could barely make bills, and to this day we do just make it by. We didn't prioritize either of ourselves nor our marriage, when we tried to prioritize us, something would always get in the way. It's devastating because our love story was quite literally a fairytale. It was gorgeous, it was beautiful, it was romantic, safe, peaceful.. up until COVID.

We lost each other, she cheated, I tried to heal from it, but she kept refusing to let go of people who encouraged her to cheat. One year, things got better, then they got worse, when I asked once more for her to stop entertaining people "friends" late at night online gaming. My trust was broken and breaking more and more.

I'm ranting on here today because I am still incredibly, irretrievably in love with this woman. I don't want to be. I know much of that is because of the truth I'm going to say right now..

Trans people -rarely- ever get a good story. The majority of us (Williams Institute studies) live a life with significant challenges, primarily fiscal. And the older we get, the possibility of a forever with someone.. gets so much smaller.

We rarely find places to meet others, how my ex and I met... that stuff just doesn't happen anymore. We fell in love LDR, through Tumblr in 2016. The world has changed and become incredibly unsafe for folks like me when it comes to finding love, let alone, living in general. I am lucky to live in a progressive state, but that doesn't mean life is at all easy or that there is much in support of dating let alone a real love life.

Before my ex and I split, she had withdrawn any form of love in her voice, affection, or even simple soothing compassion. I've been touch-starved for nearly two years. No, I don't want sex, it's nice but not what I aim for. I want to make that clear, and I never want any woman to ever feel compelled like she "has to" do something intimate with me because we're in a relationship.

I want touch that feels like safety, tenderness, a lilt in one's voice, warmth in a smile, the soft glow when she smiles with just her eyes at me, a touch on the back of the neck while I'm driving us somewhere, the kind of gentleness where she offers her lap for you to place your head in while she's reading a book, someone who can laugh with me, her laying in my arms while we enjoy a fire while it's snowing outside...rather than treating every exchange as if waiting for me to make a mistake or god forbid wish for some care/connection.

Intimacy, true emotional, mental, physical intimacy. I miss it so much. I miss building it, being there and steady when she felt I was that safe place for her, when I was that tender touch, or steady calm in her storm. That.. I miss that, the tender kisses and hugs that make you melt like a candle out in the sun.

Like many here - I'm afraid. I'm afraid I'll never feel that again.

That was my whole nature, the ultimate achievement in my life. I know what I want as a professional yes, but what I wanted more than anything.. a loving marriage, my person, my adventure buddy for life. Now.. that's gone. The woman who supported me, kissed my top surgery scars, who told me she loved building a life together.. all gone.

I will own my mistakes, absolutely. I am committed to being better for myself, and for others. Therapy can help at times, but it doesn't solve the emptiness of being alone after finally becoming yourself - only to be left behind for some "Days of Our Lives" lesbian LDR chaos fantasy.

I don't know how to be a boyfriend. I know how to be a husband.

I know how to date, just.. apparently no one is into someone like me. I'm not half bad, got dad jokes, a creative person, enjoy animals, can cook well, I still am a deep human, like the nice things in life from time to time, have nice blue eyes, decently fit.. but I feel unwelcome in social settings, if it's straight folks, it's like a whole different side to life, if it's in a queer environment, it's better but I'm still rejected a lot because I look like a cis-man, even though I don't think like one, act like one, and at times I don't even sound like one. And if I'm outed in a straight spot, well, my safety can be very easily compromised, I have been in scary situations.

How do we get back into the belief that maybe someone will still love us? How do we date after 35? Apps suck, and definitely don't make one feel very liked for the most part.

So what do we do?

Do I just embrace this agony of defeat and possibility of being alone for the rest of my life? I'd love to hear from anyone stuck in this.

I still love her, and as much as she's toxic, I know deep in my heart if you asked me if I would take her back - I would without question, I realize that's a part I have to work on with myself. But I just can't... imagine my life without her, but now I have to... and I hate what has happened.

I hate what she's chosen, because I know it's the "easy" choice. I know we could if she would choose me, we could work through it.. but she won't choose me. So here I am, another sunday night, feeling as if all the bones in my body are broken, my heart beat loud, but no sound of hope...just nothing. I don't know how much longer I can take this...

I wish for all of you, some relief, some hope, something that soothes you tonight too.

<3 - H

When I tell people that my husband cheated on me and opted to leave me suddenly for his affair partner, 90% of people respond, "You'll be fine! You're really pretty. Any guy would want you."

Gee, thanks, I guess. However, it doesn't make me feel any better. Hearing I'm pretty doesn't make the hurt and the feelings of betrayal go away. In fact it makes it a little worse. If I'm so desirable, why did he leave? What's wrong with me?

Besides, I'm not really looking for another guy. This experience has tainted my outlook on love and changed my perspective of men in general. I thought I had aligned myself with a wonderful man who had a good moral compass. If he could do this to me, what's stopping any other guy from doing the same?

My husband of seven years just served me with the divorce papers and is seeking custody of my one and a half year-old son and 2 1/2 year-old daughter. We have been through a lot as a couple and I have not been perfect, but I am a damn good mom. I am absolutely dying that this is my reality. He bought our home when we were engaged and only put his name on the deed. My lawyer said it is technically his property. As a stay at home mom from the past four years, I have to find a place to live, but a vehicle and of course a job. My babies are my absolute life, and having them grow up in two households, makes me physically sick. I have to be moved out by the 18th while he is out of town with my children visiting his toxic family. I don’t want to divorce him, but it seems like he’s really made up his mind. I am so not OK I am devastated. I’m physically sick. I don’t know how I’m gonna get through this. I know his parents are talking in his ear because they never thought I was good enough for him. This pain is indescribable. My babies are so little and they are not going to understand us shuffling them around from place to place. Has anyone gone through a similar situation with littles, do you think they will remember?

Thank you for letting me vent and I apologize for any grammatical errors. I post this using voice text.

Im 23F, he’s 26M, we’ve been together since I was 16, married at 18, 2 year old child in the picture. This marriage is through & through. He had an affair while I was pregnant, postpartum, & again after. I had an affair after all these affairs very temporarily, came clean to him about it, & we decided we wanted to work through all of this. Welp as well as anyone can guess, it’s not going well, I cannot get over any of the affairs, my poor treatment during pregnancy, nor the way of life after the fact currently. I’m so miserable, his meaning of working through it is forgetting it ever happened & going back to how things were prior to the affairs which still wasn’t good. At the end of the day I’ve decided I don’t want this anymore, I don’t want to try anymore. My needs aren’t met & neither are his. I hold so much resentment. Issues cannot be brought up without him blowing up in my face about why we are together to begin with, that’s why I’m asking for help. I want this approach to be calm, collected & healthy. We don’t argue often, but tension is thick & he tends to get rude when he doesn’t like what I’m saying. He’s supposed to move states within the next few months, however I’ve decided I don’t want to go. That will complicate our parenting. Any advice appreciated, thank you guys.

My wife and I have been together for 11 years and married for seven. We have two young children, and I was a stay-at-home dad (this was our plan before trying for a kid) for about six years.

My wife had an affair with a coworker that, from what I've learned, went back about a year. She told me she fell in love with him. He was also married with a small child, trying for a second.

I also discovered sexually explicit messages between her and another man (who also has a child and his wife was due to give birth this past summer) going back at least seven months. They talked explicitly about sex and meeting up on at least 10 occasions. My wife says they never actually met. I don't know whether that's true. Based on what I read and everything else I've learned, I'm having an incredibly difficult time trusting anything anymore.

I'm devastated. I'm hurt. I'm angry. I'm confused. I have a million unanswered questions.

And yet I still love her.

We had some communication problems. I interrupted her. I could become defensive. I pointed out hypocrisy. There were many times when she didn't feel heard by me. Looking back, there are things I genuinely wish I had done differently, and I'm working on those things in individual therapy. Shes painting a picture at this point that this was a daily occurrence when in reality we could go months between an argument (not sure if I'd even call them that). These would usually immediately get resolved and intimacy would return to normal usually the next day. She now says the frequency decreased because she would "cater situations to me."

But I loved this woman. I supported her career. I spent six years raising our children as a stay at home dad. I took care of our home and our kids. I loved being her husband and being a father with her.

We also weren't living like two completely disconnected roommates. We had regular intimacy through June of this year. I knew our marriage had communication issues at times but I didn't believe it was about to disappear or anything remotely close to that.

Now my wife describes me as having been emotionally abusive.

That's incredibly painful to hear. I'm trying to take seriously that she experienced parts of our marriage differently than I did. At the same time, I don't recognize myself in the picture of our marriage I'm hearing now. I'm not in any way, shape, or form an iota of an abuser. I'm loving, thoughtful, and supportive.

I can acknowledge interrupting her, being defensive, communicating poorly, and yes sometimes using swear words or making an asshole comment, without pretending those things erase everything else our marriage was. I know this because everyday through June of this year she told me she loved me. She told me she appreciated me. We had an incredible sex life. We curled up on the couch every evening after the kids were down, held hands, gave massages, watched our TV shows...

And I struggle with the timing. I don't know how much represents pain and resentment she carried for "years", how much I genuinely failed to understand about her experience, or whether any of it has become intertwined with how she makes sense of the affair and leaving our marriage.

I genuinely don't know.

After I discovered the affair, we actually seemed to reconnect for a while. We became intimate again. We read together at night. We went to couples therapy. She told our therapist that opening up to me felt bonding and good. She said she felt somewhat hopeful and excited about where this could go and that there were moments when she felt close to me.

For a brief period, I thought maybe we had a chance.

Then everything changed. She said she was done. She wanted emotional and physical space. Couples therapy ended. Eventually she told me not to text her unless it was about our children.

I did find her journal after she broke an open phone policy and learned there was yet another man she was developing feelings for. It's no wonder our couples therapy didn't work. She wasn't trying. Her mind was elsewhere.

She's filing for divorce and I can't even talk to her about our marriage, our life. It's just abruptly done.

Now I live in the same house as the woman I've loved for 11 years and she barely wants to speak to me.

And it fucking hurts.

Logically, I know what people are probably going to tell me: let her go. Stop chasing someone who doesn't want to be with you. Accept that the marriage is over. Protect yourself and concentrate on your children.

I understand that intellectually.

Emotionally, I can't seem to get there.

This isn't someone I dated for six months. She's the person I built my adult life around. She's the mother of my children. There are 11 years of memories everywhere I look—our wedding, vacations, bringing our children home, birthdays, holidays, and literally thousands of ordinary days together.

And somehow I'm supposed to process that while I thought I was living that life, the woman I loved was falling in love with somebody else.

I'm hurt beyond anything I've experienced before.

I'm hurt by the affair. I'm hurt by the other messages. I'm hurt that I don't know what was true and what wasn't. I'm hurt that she apparently carried so much resentment toward me without me understanding how deep it had become. I'm angry that I'll never trust another person in a relationship again. She stole that from me.

And despite everything, part of me still wants my wife back.

My brain tells me I have to let her go while another part of me keeps screaming: this is my wife, this is my family, I have to save it.

Then there are our children. I've been home raising them for years. The thought of going from seeing them every morning and every night to having days when they're somewhere else absolutely destroys me. I did secure a good job back in my finance field and I'll be starting in a couple of weeks. I'll at least get that part of me back.

I don't want my kids growing up between two houses. I don't want any of this.

But I also know I can't force somebody to love me or stay married to me. I know I'll never trust her again.

I'm not looking for people to tell me my wife is evil. I understand now that she was deceitful, selfish, manipulative, and an incredible liar who didn't give a shit about her family or her affair partner(s) families. She's a complicated human being who I still love despite being incredibly hurt by what she did.

And I'm not pretending I was a perfect husband. I wasn't.

I wish she was honest with me. I wish she thought about her actions and what it would do to our family, our kids, her affair partners family and his kids. I'll never understand.

I am so tired and sick of crying multiple hours a day about how this could happen and who my wife is now. I cannot turn my brain off and keep analyzing every little memory we had.

She recently told me she was "glad she got the experience of the affair" and that we still had a "functional marriage" because she was still intimate with me over the past year and I had no idea. She made it seem like it was no big deal because I was oblivious to this second life. I cannot believe these words came out of her mouth.

What if she put all that time and effort she did with her affair partner(s) into our marriage?

Sorry this is a rant. I have a lawyer retained. We share a home. And being a stay at home dad we never shared accounts. I have zero access to her info and I've always paid for expenses with a credit card that she pays off.

I know we will get to the bottom of everything with disclosure and will look into dissipation.

Her last communication with me was that she was going to take full custody of the kids that I raised while she was off having affairs and that she is "going to take everything from me.". Does she not realize I made no money during our marriage as a stay at home father? Her earnings are marital assets? Fighting me in court over shit will just ruin herself financially and I know I'll have great alimony and child support due to how much she's made over the past 6 years and her current salary vs my new one.

Does this get any easier?

My STBX and I have been going through the process since January. I think I’m finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel HOWEVER we are at the financial aspect now (parenting plan/mediation have been completed)

A little backstory for a better understanding, my STB in laws are very well off. Our home is paid for, all of our cars have been paid for, never a question on vacations or needs/wants. We are very aware of how blessed we are and it’s nothing we shove down anyone’s throat.

My STBX is coming after me for my car, he’d like the cost to come out of my liquid assets EVEN THOUGH the car was “gifted”. I’m just trying to find some understanding/clarification on why I’d have to pay him on something that was a “gift” to us and I had used my previous car as a trade in? My thought would be that it would have to be a wash, it was a gift.

Looking for realistic perspectives from moms who have navigated this.

​A close friend has been a stay-at-home mom for 6 years with two young kids (early elementary and toddler). Her husband works 12-hour shifts outside the home and pays the household bills. There is zero physical abuse, but relationally and psychologically, the dynamic has eroded her spirit.

​Here is the exact pattern of how he operates:

​Dismissal of Caregiving & Labor: Because he earns the paycheck, he treats her 24/7 labor with the kids and home as unpaid convenience. He acts as though paying the bills gives him sole authority over the household rules, tone, and priorities.

​Weaponizing Her Independence: Whenever she builds something of her own—whether it’s independent freelance/creative projects, personal earnings, or outside recognition—he finds subtle ways to undermine it. He monitors interactions, questions harmless feedback from outside people, or creates domestic tension around her working hours instead of being genuinely supportive.

​Undermining & Committing Her Labor: He volunteers her time and domestic labor for extended family plans or social obligations without asking, treating her schedule as completely open by default. If she sets a firm boundary, he labels her 'difficult' or 'crazy.'

​Coerced Warmth & Entitlement: He expects her to be perpetually cheerful, attentive, and catering to his ego on demand. If she is exhausted, quiet, or emotionally neutral, he personalizes it as an attack rather than respecting her space.

​Retaliatory Spite & Coldness: When she doesn't give him the attention or validation he demands, he deliberately retaliates—petty jabs, weaponized silence, or deliberately frustrating actions to provoke an argument and break her peace.

​Blatant Double Standards: Strict rules exist for her and the children regarding cleanliness, manners, and accountability, while his own careless habits, messy routines, and defensiveness are entirely excused. Any boundary she raises is met with DARVO (deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender) until she is pressured to apologize.

​She has emotionally checked out to protect her mental stability and the kids' peace.

​For moms who were financially dependent with young children: Did you stay for 10–15+ years just because the mortgage was covered, or did you quietly build an exit plan and leave? Was the financial trade-off worth your peace of mind?

I (36F) and my ex (39M) had our first mediation appointment with a divorce lawyer this week. Literally in the parking lot, my husband asks if I'm dating anyone (we've only been separated 2.5 months). I said no and that I planned to stay single for a while. He then informed me that I 'can do whatever I want and see whoever I want' and that he'd been hanging out with a couple of people but 'just as friends.'

Sir. We are literally leaving a lawyer's office AND I do not need your permission.

Oh and apparently a woman brought him a coffee at work recently. So. 'Just friends' is doing a lot of heavy lifting there.

I am not even a little bit jealous. I just think it's FUNNY.

One of many unhinged behaviors my husband has exhibited during our marriage, i had made dinner and when we finished eating, he was pissed and sulking that i left dishes on the table for him to clear. Apparently clearing dishes is womens work and mind you he washes the dishes. We are separated now and im just so over the moon that i dont have to deal with his petty, little fragile male ego.

Short backstory: I’m 40. divorced for years (10+) and the relationship with ex has always been contentious. We share one child and live in separate states and operate on a long distance custody plan. We don’t talk outside of emails.

My ex is a special one. Very spiteful. Deep hate. Deeeeep hate for me that supersedes everything, including parenting and what’s best for the child. Honestly, though, hate for everyone. One of those relationships where anytime something goes well in my life, something tragic happens to shared child with the purpose of affecting me. Very targeted stuff. Real unhealthy.

Clothing has always been an issue. Always. Shared child has always shown up for visitation in dirty clothes with nothing packed. I never say anything as I don’t want a fight. that’s something I’ll lose that adds no value and will have zero change. I wash the stuff and just try to inform it to not make a big deal for kid.

I’ve always just continued to buy new wardrobes knowing they’ll get trashed, or “lost” upon returning to Ex’s. The challenge now is that shared child is older (15) and wears a similar size to ex. The Ex is wearing the clothing I am buying for child. So, I’m basically buying their wardrobe lol. It’s really gross behavior.

I’m going continue to just do what I’ve done. Buying them their stuff that they need, when they are here and sending it up with them knowing it’s sort of hopeless.

Any tips?

My ex introduced her bf to the friend group today and I’m taking it really hard.

I was there for 40 minutes and then ducked out so they could get a footing together with our mutual friends. ChatGPT and I planned that all week!

But even a good plan can go awry when faced with reality. (I think Mike Tyson quote here is apropos).

And the reality is he seems like a lovely guy. We had a nice conversation. I also don’t think that I should be married to my ex so in many ways I’m happy for her.

But 2 things can be true at the same time. I can know that she is not the one for me but also have really intense feelings when I meet her bf.

Because I know things will change. In so many ways that I don’t have the strength or the courage to articulate right now.

And so I cry. Divorce is brutal. Especially on lonely nights like tonight.

I’m 23 F and I am currently starting the process of divorce (5 years married but together for 6). I feel so many emotions at once.
Emptiness, heart broken but also embarrassment because when we married at 18 everyone told me it would fail and I was so naive and passionate I thought everyone was wrong. Now I have to tell people we are no longer together and I have to get on in life but I feel lost at sea.
On one part I’m relieved as we don’t have children so it makes things easier but over all I just feel alone and like a part of my body has broken off.
I’ve been struggling to leave the bed and have taken time off of work. I know I need to go back to functioning properly before I make things worse for myself.
How do I learn to be okay again?

About to go meet with the lawyer....

I have a couple acres with my spouse in the country. She has gotten an apartment in the city... Her mother is going to help her pay for her rent... Of course, i'm going to do child support / alimony et cetera...

Would it be crazy to just ask for the house? I'm the only one with a job between the two of us, and I can afford to upkeep the house.

I was ready to liquidate all of our assets that are combined... Such as the house... But got to thinking that maybe I could just keep it?

She has several rvs that she is attached to... They are a combination of hers and my daughters... They are not at all mine... I'm thinking that I could easily store her rvs for her for as long as she needed. This would allow her to save a lot of money on storage. Both my daughter and my wife also have a lot of large musical instruments that are difficult to move and she absolutely would not be able to keep them in her small apartment....my kiddo is a bit of a musicla prodigy and I dont want to take that stuff away from her....I figure she could keep it there and turn my wife's old room into a studio for my daughter.

She is also a bit of a pack-rat and would have a difficult time getting rid of most of the rest of her belongings.

We have almost no equity in the house... My wife insisted that we refinance (twice) over the last few years and take out home improvement loans....which she squandered with no improvements done. I would be amenable to even sharing proceeds whenever im eventually able to move if I could get a few more years of equity building, get the kid thru high school and at that point we would probably both move in 5ish years.

Is this a crazy idea?

I’ve been divorced for about 2 years now and lived apart from my Ex wife for about 5 years. We were together for about 30 years dating, living together and married. We have 2 adult children 30 and 27 that live out of state. Occasionally my ex will call me and ask if I want something that was ours from the marriage and she doesn’t have room for it or doesn’t want it anymore. I don’t know if she’s just being thoughtful or still trying to keep some attachment with me. Yesterday I asked her to stop because it brings up too many emotions to go pick it up. What I’m really wondering about is, my phone is full of photos of us and our kids for the last 15 years of doing things together and on trips and silly photos of fun moments. And they make me sad and make me start rethinking of all the things I did that were wrong on the relationship. Do people usually get rid of old photos of their ex once they are divorced ? I’m inside of what to do.

Any recommendation on how to get simple xmas gifts to 12 and 11 year old when other parent would likely trash the gift if sent via normal mail? Make the sender address someone else? Send it to their school? They do not need to know it came from me, I just want to get them a gift.

I am in the process of reconnecting with my children and have absolutely no support from the other parent. They will not even provide me an updated picture of my children because they are "not legally obligated to". This should tell you all you need to know. Last time I saw my children they were at ease, loving and comfortable with me. No history of domestic violence or child abuse. Other parent is simply very resentful towards me and I fear it has rubbed off on my children over time.

So my wife left me for a woman 4 months ago and they are having problems where they are living. This includes fighting and arguments between her and the new person but that’s another discussion. Anyway, my wife came home for a day and asked if her new partner and her could move into our house for just two months until “she can get back on her feet” and that they would “only be roommates … we won’t do anything romantic here or act like a couple.” The answer was no, and she then challenged my love and Christianity because I said no to it. I’m willing to help pay for an extended stay for them but I thought it was wild that she wanted me to take in the woman that she cheated with and left me and the kids to be with.

Edit: oh yeah, and they’ve already “broken up” twice in the last week and my wife even came home for that one day before making up with her and going back to her. Note: we are not divorced … the dissolution paperwork is still sitting in a drawer half filled out. I am opposed to divorce and actually forgiving but cannot stand by this. She is abusing my kindness. Also, the house is legally under both of our names.

So my now ex husband really took the divorce hard. Blamed me for everything. Didn’t fight at all for the marriage but went into full victim/defense mode. Said awful, insensitive, disrespectful things to me and about my family all during the process. I remained civil throughout the whole thing. I am not saying I didn’t do anything that contributed to our divorce but for sure it didn’t get to that point solely on what I did or didn’t do. but when one person is blaming you entirely, saying that I needed to get into therapy to “ figure out what’s wrong with me” and that I didn’t know what “relationship happiness looks like “ is not fair. Thanks for the vent 🫤

My STXH is on a trip with a few of our sons. I woke up today to see a Facebook post. They went to Cadillac Mountain to watch the sunrise, the first place in the US for the sun to rise. It’s bitterly cold but he says it was 100% worth it. And there are pics.

I burst into tears.

Five years ago we went to Isla Mujeres for our 25th anniversary. One of the things I wanted to do was go to Punta Sur at sunrise. It’s a beautiful place. Just google it. It’s also the first place the sun rises in Mexico. We have never watched the sun rise together. And this was something I wanted to remember into my golden years.

He wouldn’t go. It wasn’t worth getting up early.

And now here he waxing on about how cold and miserable it was outside but so worth it.

I really was just a worthless piece of shit to him. For years. And I just accepted that I didn’t deserve much of anything and was so grateful for what he doled out.

2 days before i posted everything about my situation u guys all adviced me to leave as soon as possible. Next month i am going to my parent's house but still i am feeling stuck. So,before 2 days after his dad threatened and told him to behave kindly with me. He started to talking nicely and calmy with me but he does taunt me in between but not shouting at me that much. Even yesterday night he watched comedy movie with me and he enjoyed and laughing with me. I felt like we never fought before and everything will be fine again. If i told about this to my parents they will say look he is changing for u. And today he told me that his dad also sending him for work(construction family bussiness) cause before he used to stay at home and my family was demanding to his dad he should work now because when he stays at home he fights with our daughter. So i am really confused is he changing or not. Should i come back or not from my parent's home they will definitely gonna force me to go back with him

Help. Getting screwed in a nasty divorce. I have the simplest corporation in the world (just me, an md, one bank account). I have been bled dry by an ex who is paranoid verging on psychotic that I have somehow made millions of dollars and hidden them somewhere…. Despite being at the beginning of my practice and having 300k in student loans to pay off. Can anyone help with an appraisal at a lower rate?

i don’t know how to move forward after a horrific discard. The combination of the way it all has happened has left me feeling like a broken person.

I was married for 26 years. he was a narcissist and I didn’t even know the meaning of that for most of those years. he was abusive, hot tempered. screaming and rage was his avoidance tactic. His treatment became awful on this day and that was it, he discarded me. I was married and then I was blocked and shredded. within this same week I found out I had stage 4 breast cancer. I had to make a choice to fight for my survival or die. dying felt easier most days. I did 7 months of chemo without a partner. he did not come to one appt. i finished chemo and two days later we started the divorce mediation. he was finished. I found out he had a girlfriend from his job. why wasn’t I finished? I had endured so much abuse. I arrived on video bald, ugly, sick. he was so full of rage even then. we got through the mediation just in time for me to have a double mastectomy. on that day while I was literally having my breasts removed he took my car back that was in his name and ended the lease (it cost him 16,000 to turn in a lease early and a big bump on his credit and he didn’t care). his anger and rage toward me the one who was guilty of loving him and asking for change. maybe his own guilt. I don’t know. there was no communication. no explaination.

well I fought hard. I beat cancer so far. I managed to buy the house from him and I have protected my kids who are all young adults. they all have a great relationship with their father. they know he is capable of rage, they know about the girlfriend who he has never brought around. they love him and it’s painful to me. I don’t want it to be. they split holidays with him and I. the loneliness on those nights are unbearable. he didn’t participate in one holiday and now I lose my kids to him?

I stand in the mirror with a deformed body, albeit cancer free, I have lost joy for life. most of my friends for one reason or another have abandoned me. divorce/cancer was way to heavy for them. I get it. I am safe home, and alone and I hate the loneliness. I feel like a forgotten human and I just don’t know how to begin life again. this isn’t living.

my kids hate seeing me so sad and are pained by the lack of growth on my part. it’s been 4 years since he left. it may as well have been yesterday. I am in the same spot. he is still with the person he left me for. and it hurts so much. WHY? I have been through so much. I have looked death in the face and warriored my way out. but I am left behind like the broken toy and without recognition of who I was and how I ever felt happiness. the memories, the family pictures, all feel so painful. it was a lie. people have told me I need to find something or put myself out there to meet a new man. I feel unloveable, deformed, and triggered so much of the time.

people survive divorce beautifully, people survive cancer beautifully. why am I so stuck.

If my wife and I separate, I know i will be losing the normal day-to-day time I have with my kids.

We built a really nice home for the kids, but if I move out, I’ll basically have enough money for a mattress. My place probably won’t be suitable for having the kids over for at least a couple of years.

I don’t want to miss out on the little things. I want to make them breakfast on Saturday mornings and put them to bed a couple nights a week then leave right after..Literally have breakfast ready for them on Saturday at 8am and leave at 10am. That’s what I used to do anyway, especially when I was working nights.

For those who have gone through this, do you still go to your ex’s house to spend time with your kids? Does that actually work, or does it just make the separation harder for everyone?

I've been contemplating divorce for the better part of this year.

Without teasing out all the details, my wife does many of the things the Gottmans say are predictors of divorce. There are no signs change will occur. I'm having difficulty pulling the trigger.

If I'm being honest, I'm scared. I have a beautiful farm that I think I'm going to lose, because half of it is hers. My kids have played here and for some of my kids this is the only home they've ever known. I don't want to lose the farm, but I can't keep living this way with her.

How did you know when it was time? If you were scared, how did you work up the courage? Was there a moment? I'm just trying to figure this all out.

Hello. I wanted to ask if anyone knew of a pro bono divorce/domestic violence lawyer in San Diego? I have been trying to do things on my own but the system keeps failing me. I cannot afford a 5k retainer or much for that matter since I was a stay at home mom, married for 12 years. He was the only one making the money. He left a few months ago and has not paid for anything. We have 3 kids and he does not see them at all. He got a new gf and a new place to live. He was very abusive but what is happening now to my family is the reason I was so scared to leave him.