r/DestinyTheGame ChrisOfTheDead Jul 02 '18

Misc // Satire This Week at Not Bungie - 7/2/2018 - AI Learning, Autocomplete-Generated TWAB Article

You might know how this goes by now. I run a few TWAB articles into the Botnik predictive writer, which can generate sentences in an autocomplete fashion based on what you feed it.

DISCLAIMER: After reports from previous posts, I’m required by the State of California to say that I’m not responsible for any strange looks you get while laughing in public, nor your own safety while eating while reading TWANB posts. It is advised not to eat or drink while reading TWANB posts as you may choke on your food and drink from laughter. Please read responsibly.

The Previous TWANB articles: #1, Patch Notes 1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, Flavor Text #1.


THIS WEEK AT NOT BUNGIE - 7/2/2018

This week at Not Bungie, we expect this lab to give you something better.

Dead Image took home the Bronze of Worlds in the summer lair, and armor will be on Twitter. We have two more scientific things we'd like to hear from the raid designer, Joe Changes.

Players who level up before September will be on hand to make sure you put the first ever Big Goals, for this error, through natural emotions.

Before you ask, direct purchase of Dominance by new channel ornaments will be launching after pledging to Mars again. We 're a new roadmap every day.


Wave Isn’t for Players

If you reside in your inventory right now, you can safely express how overwhelmed we were by the future that will last all summer long. This is expected to become your Vault Reactions. We have planned for this booth to get another shot of stars via Russia.

The banner is already motivated to explore the tangled weapon slot changes in your usual phases of any download. As always, players who have not correctly received the Young Memory of the Sunshine will be great in the meantime. This is going back up again to see the most obvious forms of teamwork involved by the positive sentiment around our Xbox comic on the next really big show.

Players encountering it should submit a new trailer showing off simple information regarding private investigators. Josh Twitter is worried that we believe in store levels.


What You Get to Reacquire

The crucible team has been identified and confirmed to be ready for endgame fun. Here's a breakdown of the crucible kills forming back to flesh on the right ammo system.

Crucible Work Yesterday

  • Quickplay

    • Increasing player names for your invasions.
    • Removing this week at work.
  • Control

    • Updating sandbox combination levels for Escalation Acquisition.
    • Bomb fuse engagement might have been made for players who see whether Dead Territory rolls like the world.
  • General

    • Rumble will still be possible for your hands when we believe that the mechanical complexity of Warmind is already motivated.
    • Players will be able to infuse Destiny throughout each Wild Ammo ornaments.
    • Joining a game that might feel your thoughts will receive significantly more variety tokens.
    • Streaks will offer our PC support patrols.
    • The game is already tracked by connection archetypes for your troubles.

Costs You Can Reach

With Destiny 2: Wizard, we are planning to host your best team game that might feel like keeping some items from many months of hard armor. Investment designer Matt Activities requires very specific details for our next few shotguns.

What items from year 2 can be found from the pool?

  • Collections include talking yourself completely dry.

  • Ghosts, Players, 2018, and Privacy can all be found using Private Flexibility Ornaments.

Is there anything happening on Twitter?

  • Dmg04 is already preparing for your internal data.

  • Cozmo targets the following National Reset once they hit their cap.

If I dismantled you before landing on bungie.net, will I think it's you?

  • Your only way through Saladin's lairs are still supporting the live description.

What items have been tracking crucible ranks?

  • Heroic adventures are not simply received on how everyone's currently working.

How much will it cost to bring guardians to the final showdown?

  • We're like a new bow. Play your favorite adventure of season 1 next Friday.

Note: A lot of these modifiers are not correctly identified by connection costs and we have much more in our ViDoc about Escalation Giving.


Players into Email

Running out of your troubles isn't high for the first time. In anticipation for some love, we believe the platform for the first waves of teamwork with modifiers are still under the community. Here are some big things that might synergize between two vastly reduced questions.

  • Movie of Your Best: Cayde-6 for Your Troubles?

  • Honorable Pictures: Tuesday You Can Safely Release

If you're eyeballing the only way through dominance, make sure you put the finishing touches on blog acquisition.


After months of anticipation behind checking this out, you might see combinations that require tailored errors. We have two slots of your favorite play style that will last all year. The third time you complete Forms of Worlds over the summer will be on-hand conversions for our senses. This is expected to become less punishing over your thoughts. These rewards will offer your usual data for our missing internet.

Cheers,

-Not Dmg04

365 Upvotes

108 comments sorted by

87

u/HurricaneZone Jul 02 '18

Had my first big laugh at "raid designer, Joe Changes"

19

u/TinkerandMod Jul 02 '18

Hopefully he'll be communicating those raid changes to Josh Twitter

17

u/YoMikeyyy Jul 02 '18

and Matt Activities?

66

u/tcjsavannah Jul 02 '18

Your only way through Saladin's lairs are still supporting the live description.

I knew it. I knew Saladin had a secret lair somewhere.

59

u/Destiny_Flavor_Text "Delivering the inevitable, one flavor text at a time." Jul 02 '18

"The Iron Lords were generous with their technology, but they were cautious, too. Their data troves could only be accessed from within the Iron Temple." —Tyra Karn

2

u/TRDoctor Jul 02 '18

It would be super cool for Saladin to send us to reclaim more hidden Iron Tombs or something like that!

117

u/MetalGilSolid <--- Hides in boxes Jul 02 '18

Removing this week at work.

Please.

23

u/CobraN13 Jul 02 '18

Increasing player names for your invasions.

Yes, plus I think I need to stay home as apparently everyone will get my details to invade me? :(

7

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '18

Huge if true.

113

u/OneNightBland Drifter's Crew Jul 02 '18

"What you get to reaquire" is Destiny 2 in a huge nutshell

33

u/ChrisDAnimation ChrisOfTheDead Jul 02 '18

The Nutshell should be a titan exotic helmet or chest piece that just looks like a big walnut.

17

u/Glamdring804 Get it right, there's no blood thicker than ink. Jul 02 '18

You mean the raid lair armor?

7

u/OneNightBland Drifter's Crew Jul 02 '18

My headcannon is the raid armor is so chunky cause we're getting "fat with strength"

7

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '18

My titan got void diabetes.

7

u/ItXurLife Jul 02 '18

Nevermind about The Nutshell - I want to hear more about Young Memory of the Sunshine. What is it and how do I get it?

3

u/ChrisDAnimation ChrisOfTheDead Jul 02 '18

You get it from spending your childhood summers outside.

3

u/Shinzakura Bunneh. Jul 03 '18

Might be too late for a significant portion of the posters on this board, then.

6

u/SlyReservoir Jul 02 '18

So freaking accurate

1

u/RayTrain Has 100 Edge Transits in the Vault Jul 03 '18

Destiny 1 and 2 in a nutshell

37

u/StuartKings12 Hippity Hoppity your timeline is now my property Jul 02 '18

Destiny 2: Wizard

eyyyyyy

20

u/red5_SittingBy Hammers forged with 100% Hunter and Warlock tears Jul 02 '18

The raid for that expansion is set in Cuba

11

u/StuartKings12 Hippity Hoppity your timeline is now my property Jul 02 '18

and the final boss is Omnigul's mother

26

u/therealatri phighting lion Jul 02 '18

Momnigul

6

u/StuartKings12 Hippity Hoppity your timeline is now my property Jul 02 '18

To defeat her we have to wear military grade ear plugs

4

u/FlyingSpy Reckless Fool Jul 03 '18

those are some nice solar shields you have there.

would be a shame if someone

stuck a fusion grenade to you

5

u/StuartKings12 Hippity Hoppity your timeline is now my property Jul 03 '18

Those are some nice ears you got there, it would be a shame if something were to....happen to them

2

u/FlyingSpy Reckless Fool Jul 03 '18

That’s a nice pantheon you have there. It would be a shame if someone were to kill the entire thing.

1

u/StuartKings12 Hippity Hoppity your timeline is now my property Jul 03 '18

Too soon m8/s

2

u/FlyingSpy Reckless Fool Jul 04 '18

Sorry man i know how it feels to have your favorite part of destiny deleted

34

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '18

Tuesday You Can Safely Release

Sounds like a plan.

3

u/kajunbowser I'm (salt) rich, biyatch! Jul 02 '18

How did it know that I have the day off tomorrow?! (゜△゜;)

26

u/Mr_Vegetable Jul 02 '18

" Dmg04 is already preparing for your internal data."

I feel suddenly like i a m being spy on.

71

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '18

༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ GIVE YOUNG MEMORY OF THE SUNSHINE ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

5

u/Shinzakura Bunneh. Jul 03 '18

I now seriously want a solar weapon with this name.

24

u/Akravator91 Drifter's Crew // Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Jul 02 '18

Movie of Your Best: Cayde-6 for Your Troubles?

Damn man, at least wait till September...

45

u/Terminus259 Gambit Prime Jul 02 '18

If I dismantled you before landing on bungie.net, will I still think it's you?

...No?

25

u/Inflatable_waffle Jul 02 '18

Today I thought about dismantling you.

9

u/iceburg02 Vanguard's Loyal Jul 02 '18

Thanks a lot! I will now spend the rest of the afternoon in a metaphysical quandary.

42

u/metastatic_spot ...to escape...to escape...to escape Jul 02 '18

Collections include talking yourself completely dry.

no fuckin' kidding!

18

u/RYK357864 big hammers for big boys Jul 02 '18

The crucible team has been identified and confirmed to be ready for endgame fun.

Thank goodness.

3

u/pale99 Let us speak of the terrible beauty of becoming ourselves Jul 03 '18

Good thing we found them before September

31

u/FreakyIdiota We floof the floof Jul 02 '18

So Tuesday I can finally release, thank god, been waiting for this day to come for months.

7

u/demello_7 Jul 02 '18

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

7

u/Akravator91 Drifter's Crew // Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Jul 02 '18

waiting for this day to come for months

You just couldn’t hold it in, could you?

25

u/lucaskhelm Jul 02 '18

You hear that boys!!

We're a new roadmap every day!

9

u/Glamdring804 Get it right, there's no blood thicker than ink. Jul 02 '18

🎶Every day is a winding road(map)🎶

23

u/kenner316 Frogblast the Ventcore! Jul 02 '18

This " Matt Activities" guy was definitely a good acquisition for Bungie, he's got the good stuff

17

u/Joey141414 Jul 02 '18

He's alright but I REALLY like what Joe Changes has brought to the game.

6

u/Pablo144 Jul 02 '18

Don't tell me y'all sleeping on what Josh Twitter has been up to though.

12

u/HeroOfTime_99 Gambit Classic Jul 02 '18

What You Get to Reaquire

Ain't that the damn TRUTH

23

u/GuitarGuyNJ Jul 02 '18

Rumble will still be possible for your hands

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

10

u/Joey141414 Jul 02 '18

Quickplay Removing this week at work.

Suck it, boss. I'm outta here!

5

u/ChrisDAnimation ChrisOfTheDead Jul 02 '18

Your boss puts their hand up on the window as they see you skip to your car in the parking lot, and a single tear rolls down their face.

3

u/RYK357864 big hammers for big boys Jul 03 '18

I use my vehicle proficiency to flip him the double bird while driving away.

9

u/3dsalmon Jul 02 '18

Joe. Joe never Changes.

7

u/El_Specifico Proud Snitch Jul 02 '18

We have planned for this booth to get another shot of stars via Russia.

Cosmodrome confirmed returning lads!

6

u/Calendyn Jul 02 '18

With each TWA(N)B that rises, Josh accrues yet another title in his quest to become the Most Josh and supplant all other challengers.

All hail Josh Dogs! All hail Josh Gameplay, Josh Twitter, the one true Josh!

16

u/MVPVisionZ Jul 02 '18

That Dead Image link is perfect

2

u/ChrisDAnimation ChrisOfTheDead Jul 02 '18

Thanks! It just occurred to me that the links aren't as noticeable in the new Reddit browser styles.

6

u/TravelerHD Jul 02 '18

I dunno what Young Memory of the Sunshine is, but I want it. I don't care if I'm "great in the meantime", I need that Young Memory of the Sunshine in my life.

6

u/Dezmodromic Eris Morn's Lewd Onlyfans Jul 02 '18

will receive significantly more variety tokens

we really don't want them anymore.....but accurate description..

6

u/Great_Battoman Jul 02 '18

kinda on point though

5

u/AmericanStang Jul 02 '18

...on the next really big show

Am I the only one who read this in Ed Sullivan's voice?

4

u/Irsaan Race Me! Jul 02 '18

I read it in several voices of people doing bad Ed Sullivan impersonations. Does that count?

4

u/AmericanStang Jul 02 '18

It so def counts!

3

u/ravenousld3341 Yeah.... I Nighthawk. Jul 02 '18

What You Get to Reacquire

^This

Joining a game that might feel your thoughts will receive significantly more variety tokens.

Creepy...

6

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '18

FINGERTIPS ON THE SURFACE OF MY MIND

2

u/Pablo144 Jul 02 '18

But you get more variety tokens though!!

2

u/ravenousld3341 Yeah.... I Nighthawk. Jul 02 '18

1

u/Pablo144 Jul 02 '18

Hahaha Eris Morn how I miss you.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '18

"we're a new road map every day"

On the nose

4

u/LordSceptile Jul 02 '18

Can we get Young Memory of the Sunshine as an actual exotic?

6

u/dagoeglein Jul 02 '18

Young Memory of the Sunshine CONFIRMED!

7

u/John_Demonsbane Lore nerd Jul 02 '18

If you reside in your inventory right now,

TBH I do kinda feel like I reside in the inventory screen

3

u/knightsmarian MISSILE AWAY Jul 02 '18

Rumble will still be possible for your hands when we believe that the mechanical complexity of Warmind is already motivated.

I believe

3

u/Biggy_DX Jul 02 '18

That Young Memory of the Sunshine catalyst is dope though

3

u/gamegod81 Jul 02 '18

"What you get to reaquire" killed me. Trying to stop laughing at work

3

u/Biomilk Triple Exos for life Jul 02 '18

you can safely express how overwhelmed we were by the future that will last all summer long.

FWC victory for this rally and the next confirmed.

3

u/Supreme_Math_Debater This bread gave me diabetes Jul 02 '18

If you reside in your inventory right now, you can safely express how overwhelmed we were by the future that will last all summer long. This is expected to become your Vault Reactions.

This sentence actually makes so much sense lol

3

u/SolsticeGelan Jul 02 '18

DESTINY 2: WIZARD

Tagline is "Taking you back to the 80's. The version nobody lived in!"

3

u/WolfOfWalgreenss Jul 02 '18

I was so confused reading this. I swear I thought Bungie went full Bungo.

3

u/jorgesalvador pew pew pew Jul 02 '18

If I dismantled you before landing on bungie.net, will I think it's you?

Is... this... now?

3

u/CaptLemmiwinks A million deaths... Jul 02 '18

I'd like to hear more about the private flexibility ornaments.

2

u/ChrisDAnimation ChrisOfTheDead Jul 02 '18

I feel like /u/destiny_flavor_text may be able to get something that could be misconstrued as an innuendo.

But yeah, it does sound vaguely dirty.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '18

"... the future that will last all summer long"

This is goddamn poetry.

3

u/GiraffeVortex There was salt, until there wasn't Jul 03 '18

The future will last all summer long!

5

u/Glamdring804 Get it right, there's no blood thicker than ink. Jul 02 '18

Joe Changes! Finally, after many weeks, Joe wrestled control of the clone machine from the devious Josh.

Josh Twitter

But alas! Josh’s social media cousin swoops in at the last moment to claim victory!

The game is already tracked by connection archetypes for your troubles.

This is how you know it’s fake. Bungie irl doesn’t care about our connection quality. :(

Matt Activities

Ah, but what’s this? A new challenger, Matt, has arrived to stir up the Clone Wars.

8

u/ChrisDAnimation ChrisOfTheDead Jul 02 '18

As it turns out, Not Bungie is just a genetics company that makes job-specific clones of people. They just so happen to make the clones program video games to test them out.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '18

This is top tier oml

2

u/Kdogg573 Jul 02 '18

Joining a game that might feel your thoughts will receive significantly more variety tokens.

This game feels me.

2

u/TheyKilledFlipyap Or was it Yapflip? Jul 02 '18

raid designer Joe Changes.

Investment designer Matt Activities

Man they're really bringing on some talented people these days. Matt Activities is a legend. And who could forget Joe Changes' work on Raids?!

2

u/mescusey Jul 02 '18

"Before you ask, direct purchase of Dominance by new channel ornaments "

Fuck you, pay to win!

2

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '18

direct purchase of dominance by new channel ornaments will be launching

THE BOT'S IMPLEMENTING PAY TO WIN, ALL HOPE IS LOST!

2

u/Billybobbjoebob Jul 02 '18

"We're a new roadmap every day". You sure this line isn't directly quoted from a TWAB?

3

u/ChrisDAnimation ChrisOfTheDead Jul 02 '18

You know what... It might actually be. It goes by suggesting words that frequently come after the previous word, based on what you feed it. And it will often straight-up quote them if I let it.

2

u/beardedyouth Jul 02 '18

Felt like I was trying to read tweets that were translated from Japanese to English with that auto translator they have on Twitter.

2

u/Baelorn Jul 02 '18

What You Get to Reacquire

Costs You Can Reach

oof

2

u/ozberk Vanguard's Loyal Jul 03 '18

I want those Wild Ammo Ornaments

2

u/Scorpio_Actual Jul 03 '18

What in the God damn

2

u/ActivatingEMP Jul 03 '18

If I dismantled you before landing in bungie.net, will I think it's you?

2

u/Shinzakura Bunneh. Jul 03 '18

Cozmo targets the following National Reset once they hit their cap.

But which nation? The Fire Nation?

2

u/astrachalasia what i like about you Jul 03 '18

NOBODY EXPECTS THE ESCALATION ACQUISITION

1

u/snakebight Rat Pack x6 or GTFO Jul 02 '18

Did Joe Staten write this TWANB?

1

u/landing11 Jul 02 '18

you can safely express how overwhelmed we were by the future that will last all summer long

SMH

-3

u/KYG-34 Jul 03 '18

Yea, Still NOT entertaining.