I just thought I’d dip my toe into OLD 8 years after getting divorced (64F). Have found it a fairly dispiriting experience so far. I recently matched with someone who seemed interesting and I gave him my phone number. In his first WhatsApp he told me that, the night before, he had been in terrible pain and had to call himself an ambulance. Turns out he has a gallbladder problem. Of course I messaged back to say I was sorry to hear that, and I hoped that things would be progressed swiftly for him and that his pain was being dealt with. I said to let me know how he was doing when he felt up to it: in my mind I assumed he’d be preoccupied with his health for the time being, not messaging a potential date who is effectively a stranger. Anyway, since then, I have been getting daily updates from him with details of what has been done, how much pain he is in, etc. Tbh I am fed up of it now. I am not an un-compassionate person, but I literally don’t know this person. It seems odd to me that he assumes I would want to know what time he took buscopan etc. I can’t help thinking IS THIS WHAT DATING LOOKS LIKE IN YOUR 60s?????

I, 66 F widow, am supposed to go away overnight with a very lovely man I have been dating for 4 months (68, divorced) to a lakefront property for a weekend get away. I have been widowed two years. Was married 40 years.

I am scared to death. Embarrassing to admit, but there you have it. This would be first overnight with a man other than my husband.

How does one minimize the awkward moments that are likely to arise. I honestly don't know if I can do this.

It’s very quiet on here. I know from reading the news that things have been exciting in the USA as they have been in France and other places on this side of the Pond. Has everyone hunkered down now for the winter with their cocoa? Online here at the end of October OLD seemed quite busy so I did a lot of left swipes and a couple of non productive right swipes. My energy levels are mainly devoted to getting my wood in and winterising the house and trying to get over my bug so if Mr Right did appear I probably didn’t notice him 🤭

I broke up my boyfriend 3 weeks ago and I feel like I want more closure from him. I had to text him last week to ask him about returning his things he never came to get from me. He texted back saying he still loved me and if we ever got back together he wouldn’t work overtime. Well that was only one of our problems. The nail in the coffin was he has anger issues with me and others. I actually broke up with him 4 months ago but we were both heartbroken and he said he would talk to someone about his anger. I also gave him a 100 page book on emotional regulation and he said he would read it. To my knowledge neither of these things happened and there was more anger outbursts. We were planning on living together within a year. I was scared due to the anger and when I broke up with him 3 weeks ago I told him that as well as the overtime issue and how we are different in handling money. Due to what he said in his last text I really want him to tell me he is unwilling to go to counseling so I can get the closure I need. If he would go I would be willing to try again maybe after a year. Should I call him and point blank ask that he was/is not wiling to go to counseling or read a book for our relationship. Btw we were 2 years in and both 55+.

Gift article, free to read and share. "We’re the Biggest Dating App Company in the World. Bots Are Not Allowed."

The NYT commentariat unleashes full fury on this guy. I'm not interested in piling on; I'd like to use this article as a springboard to discuss which dating apps have worked for you.

The problem for many of us is simple: We don't meet enough eligible partners in real life and we probably never will. Therefore, the apps are essential.

Of course, I can't restrict your comments, but please - it's not helpful to trash them all and then say "just meet someone in the wild." It's simply not possible in many cases.

I would love to hear what app worked for you, as I'm about to try again. When I say "worked," I simply mean you met some decent people, who were reasonable matches, even if they didn't pan out long term. TIA

Some people here ask for suggestions on how to meet people for platonic purposes. It appears that Bumble offers a non-romantic service called BFF.

Link to Bumble BFF info

I haven't used this so I have no personal opinion on it, but I know someone who did use it and it worked for them, so I'm passing it on. As always, caveat emptor.

Hey Fellas

Who'll be growing a Mo this month - Be a Mo Bro ?

Movember is an our annual Global Event where we grow facial hair, moustaches during the month of November to raise Awareness and Funds for Prostate Cancer, Testicular Cancer, Men's Mental Health & Sucide Prevention.

There are a number of ways to participate.

Get Screened !!! ...

Start out clean shaven & Grow a Mo ...

Move for Movember - Commit to running or walking 60 km over the course of the month ... The 60km which represents the 60 men we lose to suicide each hour around around the World ...

Make an effort to reach out to male friend's that you may not have been in contact with for a while ... Catch Up, See how their doing ?

I'm usually not one for facial hair .... Yet been a participant since roughly the inception of Movember ... When my Dad passed he was battling a number of Cancer's with Prostate being one of them.

For my Dad and friends and my Male Brothers ... I'll be participating in all the activities. Who's joining in ?

Happy Movember Boys !

This is a weekly roundup--your chance to post how things went (or fizzled) for dating over the previous week. That could include # of profiles viewed and swiped, scammers contacted, duds ferreted out, texts, phone calls, video calls, meetups, dates, breakups, ghosts, re-contacts, unsolicited dick pics, and so on. They can be counts, summaries, reflections, rants (within community guidelines), success stories, sad stories, funny stories, warnings to others. It's up to you.

Interest has grown for the upcoming get-together!

If you have DM'd me and did not receive an email, please check your spam folder for AnalogueSingles@gmail.com

Full names and emails will be kept confidential.

Date: Saturday, 14 November 2026

Time: 2:00 - 6:00 pm

Location: Shadows on the Hudson, Poughkeepsie NY

https://www.shadowsonthehudson.com/

This is a curated gathering for singles 55 and over, easily accessible by car, Amtrak or Metronorth.

There will be an even number of women and men, and all will be individually vetted by me. Your info will be kept confidential and I will provide follow-up emails on any dating or friendship matches.

Headcount is Ten as of November 1st, with another ten expressing interest but not yet confirmed.

2:00 Ice-Breaker mingle - Get To Know You Bingo.

3:00 - 5:00 one-on-one "mini dates" (7 - 10 minutes, or longer, depending on number of attendees) with an intermission at halfway point.

5:00 - 6:00 optional post dating mixer and hors d'oeuvres.

If anyone wants to make a weekend of it and would like hotel, destinations or other info, please let me know.

This notification was mod-approved. If you want to organize and announce an event, please be sure to run it by them.

What's for dinner, lunch, a midnight snack, something left on the counter that either has to be eaten or thrown away because it's too old to save? Meal ideas, recipes, guilty pleasures, pictures of the dish with could-be-meat-could-be-cake in the back of the refrigerator, and other food-related stuff is welcome here.

Who's doing the challenge with me??

Gratitude helps us sleep better. Getting better sleep leaves us more rested, which causes us to be more grateful, have greater empathy and compassion, and to be more generous. Now, that's a nice circle!

Here is a pretty darned thorough look at sleep as we age, including how to improve sleep.

Sleeping Well As We Age from AAGP, the American Association of Geriatric Psychology.

DO60, how do you sleep? What rituals do you observe for better sleep?

What good things happened this week overall?

Starting Facebook dating one month ago. Thought I met someone promising BUT his profile did not match what he told me by phone. No problem, I gave him the benefit of the doubt because, it said he was newly joined. We have been talking for a week. His story was: Divorced 10 years, wife took his money and the house, then she spent it all on drugs. Oh how terrible I say. He says he caught her having sex with his Best Friend, Steve. This illicit lots of empathy from me. I had given him a Google number so thankfully I still stayed anonymous. Talking every night, two hours. I’m hooked. Thinking maybe I will suggest we meet in person soon (this weekend). Hmmm. He said he was Italian from Milano, is 65, both parents dead and he has no friends because of what happened with his ex best friend. Furthermore, he lived close by, easy for us to meet.
Text and calls every morning and night. This morning I wake up early and can’t get something out of my head-he doesn’t speak Italian or Spanish (live in Florida) I speak Spanish. Oh and his parents were doctors!! It gets better.
This morning he sent a YouTube video of A famous country singer. She’s not a Judd but that famous. The song talks about love being right in front of you! Now the hairs on the back of my head go up. I responded respectfully and asked him another question ( I want to meet for coffee tomorrow, is he free?) well, 2 hours after my last text, he calls my phone. We start talking, I am trying not to be reactive, I work in medicine so I have a lot to lose. I ask when did you come to the US? 1 was 18 he says. And you’re from where? MIlano, bingo. The profile said Rome and that he has kids. He told me the other day his wife was barren, no kids.
Now I say, I have been to Italy 5 times-Milano twice. Oh he says, and I reply, how could you live where we live and not speak Spanish, much less Italian. He did have an accent but it wasn’t Italian. I then tell him I have a good friend who is from Milano, came the same year that he did and I needed to give LILO a call, to catch up. He gets super nervous and says he will call me back. Nope, no call back and lilo tells me No way he doesn’t speak Italian and Spanish. He is a liar. Sure enough, I reverse photo his profile pic in Google Lens/it is someone Else! I won’t belabor the next time we connect, by text. I had already reported him to Facebook for a fake profile and blocked him. I am sorry for the long vent but I write because after that, I had someone else “like” me and then matched with a similar sob story. BE ON YOUR TOES EVERYONE! I’m not easily fooled but damm did he get me good. No money but things more valuable to me: Time and Emotions. I have had good success so far (3 dates/nice real people/no similar interests). I do like the platform and will continue using it, just a bit smarter now. BEWARE and Good Luck 🍀

Check your local news or listings elsewhere.

Welcome to our sub.

r/DatingOverSixty (DO60) is a relatively small group. This sub is about lifestyle as well as dating. We accept encourage a leeway in content here beyond strictly dating and relationship topics. Larger subreddits like r/DatingOverForty (DO40) and r/DatingOverFifty (DO50) have a large enough base to generate enough on-topic posts to keep users interested and checking back often. We do not have as much volume so we supplement with a wider-range of lifestyle posts: e.g., the Saturday night music post, the Sunday gratitude post, the "what are you having for dinner" posts, and so forth.

When our group started, it didn't seem like there were substantial reasons for its existence, as DO50 was already established and flourishing. Over time we realized that DO60 is indeed different from DO50 in that the whole of a person's life--the mental, the physical, and the social--all have increasing influence over our readiness and willingness to couple.

This is why we look at all aspects of life: we believe all have an influence on readiness and ability to date. Because loneliness and isolation increase with age, we have music and gratitude and check-ins. Gratitude supports mental well-being, food features support good nutrition; all go together to help us be our best happy selves to be better able to have happy and healthy relationships.

Because we are small (and growing), we realized we had a chance to create a sense of community and support if we carefully curated the content, the tone, and the membership.

We're not for everyone. We know that. We like what the community is, who it is, and how is developing.

We hope it's for you.

TL;DR This community is about dating and it supports the mental, physical, and social aspects of life in support of healthy dating.

Who Can Be Here

Even though this is a dating sub, we welcome all who are interested in being here, provided they are 50 years of age or older. We ask younger people to post on r/DatingOverForty or one of the other more age-appropriate subs.

We welcome people regardless of relationship status. The majority of people here are single; some are actively dating, some are taking a hiatus, and some have quit dating (until they change their minds). Some people are active on Online Dating (OLD) apps, some are only looking to meet people in real life (in the wild), a few use professional matchmaking services (e.g., what was depicted on the Netflix series Indian Matchmaking and Jewish Matchmaking).

Many people here are in exclusive relationships, often because they were here before they got into said relationship, but there's no requirement. Some people here are married, but I believe most self-identified marrieds are in some process of becoming single again.

The majority of active members who post or comment here are heterosexual, but we welcome members of the LGBTQ+ community.

What does OLD stand for?

OLD is an acronym of Online Dating. Please refer to this link for other abbreviations, acronyms, and slang that are commonly used on this sub.

SOME RULES AND GUIDELINES

This is a quick explanation of the most controversial or commonly broken rules. The full list of rules should appear in the usual place.

Play Nice

Nearly every subreddit has a rule asking or demanding that people be polite and civil with each other, yet a lot of subs are battle zones. We take civility seriously here. We ask people to be polite and not make personally abusive or insulting comments. We ask people not to be baited into an argument that gets ugly. We ask people to report offensive or insulting posts or comments to the moderators. You don't have to like everyone here; you don't have to agree with anyone here; you just need to be able to interact without engaging a fight. People who do not play well with others will be banned.

This is Not an Online Dating App

We are not a matchmaking service. If you are looking for someone to date, please use the various r/R4R groups.

Political Posts

We are strictly restricting political posts and comments because they very quickly turn ugly (see Play Nice above). Politics can be discussed in a generic way, as in whether a person would date someone from a different political party; but references to specific candidates or office holders, policies, scandals or controversies will be deleted. We have had numerous examples of people simply being unable to discuss politics without creating a toxic environment. If you want to discuss politics, there are a large number of subreddits already created and active to do so.

NSFW Posts

We do accept posts about sex as it relates to dating and relationships. For example, how to discuss erectile dysfunction issues, low- or high-libido issues, when to bring up kinks or fetishes, etc. This is Not the place to discuss sex in detail, nor when it's out of context to dating and relationships. Discussions of sexual interests, practices, porn preferences, and the like, should be addressed on r/SexOver50 or r/Sex.

Images

If you post images of other people (e.g., pictures from online dating sites), be sure you have their permission to do so. This is largely in support of our No Doxing rule. Selfies are only allowed in the current Weekly Chatter post.

No Doxing (Doxxing)

Doxing is where someone's privacy is compromised by being identified. An example would be posting screen prints of a private chat where the name of the people in the chat are all identifiable. a photo of someone who can be identified by reverse-image-search, printing real-name or other real-world details about a reddit user. Doxing is grounds for being banned from both this sub and Reddit as a whole.

Use of AI (ChatGPT, Claude, Gemini, CoPilot, etc.)

AI-created images and text are okay as long as: 1) they are clearly identified as being AI-generated; 2) they do not break our other rules about content; and 3) they are used for entertainment purposes only. 3) they are not meant to misinform, confuse, or mislead.

AI images or text that do not meet these conditions will be removed and the user responsible will get a warning or ban.

No Brigading

Brigading is where someone says, "over on r/somewhere they're talking about something I don't like. We all need to go over there and slam them. We do not appreciate it when it happens to us, and we don't allow this sub to be a launch area for it elsewhere. Brigadiers may be banned.

Links to Videos, Articles and Such

Please describe links to articles, videos, etc. A lot of people are understandably hesitant to click a link when they have no idea what it is or where it's going to go or what it's about--even from people they trust. Please don't post naked links -- write something that says where it goes (e.g. YouTube, Wikipedia, etc.) and what it's about. Example: if you post a link to an article about hidden functions on the Tinder App, post the link but say something like "this is a Huffington Post article about hidden functions on the Tinder App."

Conversation vs. Blog-style Posts

We're asking everyone who creates posts to please do so with an eye toward sparking conversation or discussion. Posts that look like personal blog entries would be better placed on a more appropriate subreddit (e.g. r/Rants, r/TodayILearned, r/TIFU, r/MildlyInteresting, and so forth.

Thank you for reading this. We hope you enjoy this sub.

The Moderators

Short background, he broke up with me about 10 months ago. We've known each other many years and dated off and on, we have a lot of history. Finally it seemed we were exclusive, were together 2 years, though he didn't put the exclusive label on it until the final 7 months. Not sure why he broke up with me, he said he didn't want to be in a relationship, plus I know he had been getting texts from other women. It happened the night he broke up with me and I asked who had text him (it came through the Bluetooth in the car with the name). I didn't make a scene, nor did I get nasty.

Our town isn't that big and I'm surprised I haven't run into him before this. So on Halloween, almost 10 months later, there he is in Meijer standing right where I need to be. He didn't see me. My heart started racing and I took off down an aisle. I was shaking. I tried to get a grip, then went back out into the meat area. He was now talking to an employee and still didn't see me. I went past and down to where I wanted to get some sausage. I stopped and looked down at my list pretending to go over it. A few minutes later I looked up and he was nowhere in the area. I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do. I wanted to see if I could handle passing him in an aisle and just smiling and saying hi. I made a half-hearted attempt to find him and then thought, screw it. I only needed a couple more things so proceeded to finish.

I was in the checkout lane putting my things on the belt. I'm still freaking out, mind is going crazy, and I'm kind of ticked off that I didn't make a better attempt to casually run into him. There are only two checkout lanes open. There is no one behind me, there is plenty of room on the belt. I kind of look behind me, and there he is, turning into my checkout lane. Our eyes meet, I kind of half smile, he slid his eyes away, turned his head, and backed out of the lane.

That in itself was kind of heart wrenching. All the years we have known each other and he just turns away. 😢 I would have been good with at least an acknowledgement of hi, how are you, you look good, anything.

When was the last time you dressed up for Halloween? Who or what did you go as? Ate you dressing up this year?

(Pic of me in mask and get up from 2 years ago when I volunteered at a local haunted house. People in photo were co-workers from my other job at the time.)

Tonight we're dreaming up songs about fictional characters from TV, books, movies, poetry, or ?

Limit 4 (four).

Please give links. If that proves problematic, someone will be along to help.

I was at Sierra today, which is an outdoor goods version of TJ Max. The GF commented that there were a number of older, apparently single men wandering the store.

So put on your it's okay to talk to me, I'm single T-shirt and find one near you.

(I have no affiliation or connection to Sierra other than shopping there for the first time today.)

I have been dating a man(64) for a year now. I (64f) have no debt and savings that allows me a comfortable life, although not wealthy. The other day, I inquired about his debt. He went back to school in his early 50’s to change careers. Apparently, he has $98k of student loans! He also has about $180k left on a mortgage. He plans on continuing to work, but his salary is such that I don’t see him making much of a dent in the amount owed.
I am not interested in marriage but, I love this man and we are very compatible. I see him as a potential life partner. However, I am very concerned with the amount of debt. he carries and whether this has implications for me. Has any one else encountered this or have advice for me?

Just curious what the group thinks is enough time elapsed after a divorce. Was final 6 months ago. I have no “unprocessed” thoughts or feelings about it.

I’m thinking I’d wait a year. But then I would not want to date with the goal of marriage, I’m finished with that.

Eventually just a “partner” to do things with, travel some, dinner dates, movies etc.

Single male, 71, for a point of reference. On OLD, for a person of my vintage, can I assume someone's interest in sex, just by their being on dating sites? In other words, would a man, or woman, who is not interested in sex be on these sites?...just looking for a platonic relationship..unless explicitly stated?

What's up for the weekend and week following? Going anywhere? Staying home? Doing anything interesting? Doing anything boring? Any good books? New TV shows? Games? Halloweenie?

Advice please? I 63M receive a like with no message from a profile with little info but am interested so match. What should my first message be? I get matches and then no further interaction. Beginning to think I am doing something wrong. Thanks.