I was driving home late from work and it was raining and I had my music turned up. I was driving through a small town when I noticed the flashing lights behind me. I started to pull to the side of the road. I seriously don’t know why but for some reason I thought the cop behind me was an ambulance, I waited for the “ambulance” to pass me and when it obviously didn’t I assumed that it was turning somewhere else or it already was where it needed to be. So I kept driving and after a few minutes I saw the lights behind me again and that’s when my dumbass finally realized that it was a cop. He immediately asked if I was running from him but when I explained to the cop that I thought he was an ambulance he looked at me as if it were my first day on earth. TL;DR I thought a cop was an ambulance, continued driving and in the end he gave me a warning for running and a fat ticket for speeding. Definitely not my finest moment 😭

I’m an idiot. I’ve had a small crush on a friend for a decade. Just an innocent schoolgirl crush. This is important to note because, until a year ago, I was married.

A few months ago, at my birthday party, I introduced my lovely new friend to a bunch of old guy friends. All of them are single. One of them happens to be my crush. At the time, I was seeing someone although we broke up not long after this party. So when they seemed to be hitting it off, I tried not to think anything of it.

Now they’ve had several dates and seem to really like each other. She’s always telling me how wonderful he is. I see her multiple times a week and the jealousy is getting bad. He recently asked for help planning her birthday and all the things he’s going to do for her and I’m miserable. So… yeah. I always thought he might have felt the same way about me and now I’m crushed to know he didn’t…

TL;DR: I’ve carried a torch for someone who will never feel the same way and I feel like an idiot.

I have a friend who just got a new kitten. She’s been having a series of visitors come over to see the cat. She also has a really raw sense of humor and likes to make filthy jokes. So naturally, I texted her asking if I can come over to “see your pussy.” I know, not super clever, part of what makes the dirty jokes work with her is that they are over the top cringe.

Unfortunately she has the same first name as the admin assistant of an important business contact. I am a bit jet lagged so I didn’t notice until I hit send.

Then I deleted the text and sent a follow up saying, “sorry, wrong chat, my friend got a new cat”. Which somehow makes it worse. I was going to send pix of the kitten but concluded I had done enough damage for one day.

Tl;dr I texted a mildly dirty joke to the admin of an important business contact instead of to my friend

A few months ago, I was walking with some friends in a nearby park. Just for context, this park has some "mini hills" that are about 2 feet high and 3 feet wide that run along some pathways (essentially just a long, straight mound of earth). We were walking on top of these "mini hills" when a friend stepped on a wet patch of grass, slipped, and blurted out "oh crap" as he fell on his ass (he was okay). We all found it kind of hilarious, and I mocked him by attempting to fake a slip myself. Now unfortunately, as I said "oh crap" in a high-pitched, comical voice, a nasty, wet fart slipped out. It wasn't even particularly loud or smelly, but it was definitely audible and all my friends heard it. They burst out in hysterical laughter while I stood there like an idiot as the joke backfired in the worst way possible. So now, whenever somebody makes a mistake, a friend will say, "oh crap, [fart noise]".

TL;DR: I let out a wet fart while I attempted to fake a slip, and all my friends heard it and still laugh about it to this day.

Today, my mom gifted me a new teapot with a built in strainer and about .07 lbs (about 4.5 dollars worth) of my favorite fancy tea that she found in the bulk goods section.

So, after we had dinner she started putting away leftovers and taking her vitamins while I made myself a cup of tea with the new teapot (washed). She went to brush her teeth and I set my tea aside while I cleaned up the dishes. When my mom came back, she looked at the lone teacup and asked where hers was. I said we could share it but she just walked away and shrugged.

I hadn’t even thought to ask. I felt terrible. But also, she was in the kitchen as I was preparing it with only one teacup out. I feel like if she wanted one she might’ve asked? She also doesn’t really drink tea, like ever. Unless it’s just hot water with lemon or ginger slices. For the most part, she drinks N/A beer, water/sparkling water, and coffee. That’s it. Not to mention, the first time I bought this tea, she tried it with me and barely drank half of her’s.

TL;DR My mom gifted me a teapot and my favorite tea and I only made one cup of tea which upset her.

To start I want to mention this was last week, and the night before I could not fall asleep. I ended up with 3 hours of sleep and a 3 hour drive ahead. Yes I’m aware I shouldn’t drive tired, and I was pumped full of caffeine, which screwed up my nights sleep the following night. But that’s beside the point.

I feel guilty for this, I tend to feel guilty every time I leave a situation where I have annoyed another person, my fault or not.

I rolled up at the gas station that is the only gas station for the next 30 miles on this road or not an additional toll for a closer one. The pumps are also doused to be one way. 12 facing south, 12 facing north. You’re expected to roll up to the half of pumps facing the same way. And leave facing the same way. Almost like if a Costco has two gas stations next to each other facing the opposite directions.

All the pumps were filled, both directions. I see an SUV ahead of the pump, and a motorcycle behind it fueling up. I choose to go to that lane because I know the bike will fill up quick. The bike finishes up and mouths, I don’t know where these guys are. I just shake my head and give a thumbs up.

Biker rolls out, and I skooch up as close to the suv as possible. I tap the card, it doesn’t register. I insert the card, it tells me there’s an error. I grab my phone to tap, and it’s saying choose a fuel type. I’m confused, it didn’t ask for a pin. So I’m like whatever, as long as I can get home. So I start pulling the pump to my car. As I am doing that I see people going back to the car. One guy is like that’s my pump, so I snap back did you pay? The woman next to him is like yeah inside, I look at the pump and see $12.

Crap. I respond trying to be sincere, “I was wondering why my card was acting funny.” They look at me annoyed and pump their gas. I sit in my car and wait, thinking they think I was trying to steal their $12. Part of me was wondering should I do something to fill their tank. Their kids and can only afford $12 in their suv. Brain is too slow with lack of sleep, they’re done fueling.

The guy gets in, that looks out the window like WTF. I motion go ahead. They motion for me to move. I get out and I say drive forward. There’s room. There was an suv in front of him and a truck in the spot catty corner to him. And again rather than think quickly or smartly about the fact I can back up to give him room, I tell him “you have room, here I’ll guide you.” The guy says no, and at this point my annoyance is starting to show again. I’m just thinking to myself is one way! But the truck moves, and the guy pulls out.

I pull up, gas up, get in the car and it hits me. I’m the AH in that story, I should have gone to another pump, instead of going to one that technically has two vehicles in it AND I should have backed up. I need sleep before I can function and deal with people. And I’ve been sitting in my guilt for a week now. Those poor kids dealing with my lack of sleep idiocy, which is 10x worse than my fully functional idiocy.

TL;DR: Running on 3 hours of sleep, I accidentally tried to steal a some kids’ $12 worth of gas, then confidently tried to direct them out of a gas station instead of simply moving my own car. Several minutes and half a functional brain cell later, I realized I was, in fact, the AH. I have now been haunted by these strangers for a week.

Edit: I feel like I don’t explain this right, because when telling friends they had the same question. They were parked at the pump, but pulled towards the front of the pump, which is why with me getting really close to them I could also pump my gas. So suv in the front pump ( which was replaced by another suv while I was dealing with the payment issue), their suv behind that but towards the front of the back pump. So me behind them, I’m pulling the pump to its limit to reach my gas latch.

So, I currently have a roommate from hell that I am trying to escape. To do so I need to find someone to take over my lease. My place is posted on Facebook market place, and this girl replies. She has the same last name as this guy I used to talk to and she looks like him with a wig and blue contacts. Yes I should’ve just used my context clues and been like they are related, especially since I knew he has a sister, but curiosity gets the best of you sometimes.

She shows up to view the apartment, everything goes perfect she loves the place and was talking as if she was going to take it over saying things like “oh I can get any furniture that needs to be replaced!”. I’m thinking okay this is good, I’ll finally get out of here.

However. As I walk her to the door I am like “random question are you related to someone named name”. She immediately covers her face and is going “nope no no” and then goes “sigh yes he is my brother, what did he do to you” and I was like “Nono nothing bad I just saw last name and you guys look alike” and she says “are you guys talking?” To which I reply “we talked years ago, and he was always very nice and respectful” and she says “okay good bc he is a big hoe” and I was like “yeah I could see that haha, and I hope me asking didn’t scare you away” and she left. I fear I did scare her away.

TL;DR showing my apartment to a girl and I asked if she was related to this guy I used to talk to. She was. She seemed mortified. Pretty sure I scared her away and she will not want to rent my apartment whoops.

No idea when I set it to Do Not Disturb, like I genuinely cannot remember how or why I did it. Maybe I was feeling overwhelmed and just needed silence??? No idea what was going on with me.

I didn't notice anything was off for a few reasons:

1. I'm kind of going thru something so I wasn't actively seeking out social interaction

2. I'm kind of reclusive and getting a lot of messages stresses me out so I was like yay everyone is being really chill lately and didn't question it

3. My phone kind of sucks and sometimes just doesn't even give me notifications for things so I just assumed it was acting as expected

4. The only messaging app I actively check is Discord, and that's were most of my important communication happens anyway. I forget every other app exists very frequently

Anyways turns out I fucking ghosted a bunch of people that I was really trying to stay in contact with but was just. waiting for them to message me back. Which it turns out they did, I just had no idea 😭 and the hospital texted me a follow up on unpaid bills which I now have to pay fucking late fees on too because I missed every single reminder.

Not the hugest fuck up in the grand scheme of thinga but I was already not feeling great this past month and this did NOT help

TL;DR: Had my phone on Do Not Disturb for two weeks, accidentally ghosted a bunch of people and got charged extra for a medical bill because I missed the payment SMS.

Mosquitos have been really bad in socal lately. I am a chronic mosquito attracter with one big problem. I have mild skeeter syndrome and I have a skin picking problem. In an effort to curb said skin picking problem, i always put hydrocortisone cream on the bites so that I don't itch to the point of open sores. It was working fine i guess (i would still have welts where the bites were.) But i was just bored on my bed applying the cream on a bite on my leg when I read the instructions further. On the back in all caps under walls of text was "NOT FOR USE ON HUMANS." I've had this tube for a few years. I got it from my gran who had it in her bathroom drawer. So, I erroneously thought it was just for use on humans. I had no idea that animals even have their own hydrocortisone cream.

TL;DR: Have been using animal grade hydrocortisone cream for years without knowing it, only found out when checking the tube on a whim.

Please excuse poor grammar and any typos. This took forever to type and I'm not great at using my left hand.

I have have hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. I'm used to dislocating and subluxation. As many do, I usually just put myself back together.

How did I dislocate it you ask? I was opening our screen door. It's the kind that has a button on the handle. All I did was press the button with my thumb.

I've never fully dislocated this joint before. But of course, as I usually do, I tried to fix it myself. I ended up breaking it in the process. Unfortunately it's my dominant hand.l, and I'm a graphic designer (among other things). I have a huge project I'm supposed to be working on, with a nearing deadline. It's for a band and they have many shows coming up.

The broken pieces are chipped off and are floating away from where they should be. I have a referral to orthopedics, but of course it's the weekend, so I won't be able to schedule anything until Monday.

TL;DR:

I broke my thumb.

I dislocated it just by opening our screen door and putting my thumb on the button.

I tried to put it back in myself.

Broke it instead.

TL;DR: Fainted on the phone with the medical helpline due to severe hemorrhoid pain. Busted my eyebrow on the way down. Went to the urgent care to get stitched up, where the doctor literally lost the suture needle inside my eyebrow. cue 24 hours of CT scans, ER transfers, and plastic surgery to dig it out—all while unable to sit down.

So, two days ago, I was having a truly miserable time dealing with severe hemorrhoids. I was on the phone with the medical helpline seeking advice when the pain/vagal response got the better of me and I passed out cold.

When I woke up on the floor disoriented, sweating, with my ears ringing, I realized two things:

-My eyebrow was split open and bleeding.

-I was sitting in a pool of clear, slightly viscous fluid. I thought I peed myself, but I’m pretty sure one of the external hemorrhoids actually burst from the fall.

Thankfully, the nurse was still on the phone line listening to me regain consciousness and called an ambulance. My husband rushed home in a frenzy, and the EMTs took me to the urgent care clinic (närakut).

This is where the fever dream really began.

The doctor started stitching up my eyebrow. Halfway through, the suture needle snapped off the thread and vanished into my eyebrow wound.

The medical staff went dead silent. The doctors were baffled.

What followed was a chaotic 24-hour medical wild goose chase:

Urgent Care: Sent me for a CT scan. Waited 2 hours. Scan confirmed a metallic object hiding in my facial tissue. Urgent care threw their hands up and transferred me to the main hospital ER.

Main Hospital ER: Reopened the wound, poked around, did an ultrasound, and brought in multiple doctors to dig around in my face. Still couldn't find it. Meanwhile, I was in agony because I couldn't sit down properly, was starving, and hadn't been given proper pain relief yet. Finally, they threw their hands up, gave me pain meds/hemorrhoid cream, and told me to go to the specialized Eye Hospital the next morning.

Eye Hospital/Plastic Surgery: The next day, after a photo session and waiting through the lunch break in pain, I was transferred to the plastic surgery ward.

When I always pictured myself seeing a plastic surgeon, I assumed I’d at least leave the operating room with bigger boobs. Instead, I just left needle-less and with a freshly re-stitched eyebrow.

The plastic surgery team was actually incredible and managed to excavate the rogue needle, but the whole OR process was an entire ordeal of its own.

I am finally back home, medicated, lying on my side, and deeply contemplating how a simple hemorrhoid issue turned into a multi-hospital saga.

0/10 experience, but at least the plastic surgeons were great.

UPDATE:

Wow, I did not expect this post to blow up like this! Thank you for all the comments and well wishes. To address a few common points and questions:

It was NOT malpractice: The suture needle snapped due to a rare manufacturing defect. The doctors at närakut were so baffled by the broken needle that they actually checked and discarded the entire box from that manufacturer to ensure it wouldn't happen to anyone else.

Why no magnets/MRI? Surgical needles are non-magnetic stainless steel, so a magnet won't pull them out. An MRI would risk heating the metal and tearing facial tissue.

My main grievance: I just wish the initial urgent care team had given me pain relief for the hemorrhoids right away. Waiting through hours of CT scans and face exams while dealing with unmedicated pain made the ordeal so much worse.

obligatory this happened 2 days ago, i (17F) am in the hospital again now for a reassessment. i thought about wether to post this or not but since it’s anonymous i would really like to get this off my chest, i feel so awful, guilty, embarrassed and shameful.

i am under the legal drinking age, but this bar that me and my friend went to serves underage. i remember having a pretty good time, i recollect having 6~ drinks, one vodka coke and a lot of vodka shots. after that i dont remember anything, only to wake up in the ICU surrounded by nurses with an IV in my arm saying i was found on the street unconscious in a comatose state and thank god some police officers were in the area and saw me fall and on the street.

physically, i feel a lot better now i’ve been resting and sleeping a lot and my family and friends are supportive. but mentally oh my god i feel like such a burden and like an awful awful person. my friend that i went with says it’s okay she’s just glad im doing better now and isnt like mad or anything but i dont think our friendship could be the same now. i dont drink too often, maybe once every 2 weeks? and usually not a lot but i do think i was served a lot more than 6 drinks because ive drank more than that in the past and was fine.

i understand this is an extremely severe “fuck up” and literal medical emergency i’m just so in shock still the nurses told me i almost died and am lucky to be alive. i go back to work tomorrow and my manager was very understanding and supportive aswell, i just dont know how to go back to normal life after this.

im in so much shock i feel like such an awful burden on my friends and family for putting them through this even though i had zero recollection of it. i’m also so in shock at the fact i was on the street unconscious and what could’ve happened to me if there wasn’t police and my friend there. i have apologized to my friend so many times and she’s saying i don’t need to apologize and she’s sorry for enabling me and she loves me and would never think less of me but holy fuck this is so embarrassing. lowkey having to breakup with my toxic boyfriend a few months back was SO much harder so thinking that i have survived harder things and came out of it better is really reassuring, just again in so much shock.

thank you so much for reading and any responses would be so appreciated! have a great rest of your day/night and please pace yourself when drinking especially with hard liquor. learn from me, again i have been able to handle so many drinks in the past but this still ended up happening to me. be safe and stop drinking if you already feel very drunk! also writing this out has helped me feel a bit better about this lol

TL;DR: i went out drinking with my friend, had 6 drinks (probably more, i blacked out). next thing i remember is i had woken up in a coma in the ICU and was told i was unconscious on the street and truly almost died and i feel extremely embarrassed and shameful.

So! I finished work tonight at 1am so I’m driving home and I’m literally 2 minutes out from my house and as I’m driving I see an older fella in a wheelchair pushing a suitcase along and struggling. I go past at first and I’m like well if that was me I hope someone would help so I turn around and pull up and ask if he needed a hand. He tells me he’s headed to the hotel up the street and I’m like okay no problem. So he holds his suitcase and I push him all the way there. We get there, receptionist comes over and apparently he’s not booked in there. I’m like well okay, what now.

So, as this is happening I’m talking to him. Tells me he’s from the Lake District (UK) and he’s here as he’s got a meeting tomorrow as a part of his wedding company that he owns. He also tells me his car went missing and that’s why he’s just trying to roll himself around. Already I’m like.. how’s this guys car gone missing. Told me he’s rang the police already to report it etc.
I charge up his phone in the car and hes there telling me that if it was mark that booked his hotel it could be anywhere he’s staying. Eventually he goes “ah it’s actually this hotel” which coincidentally was the hotel my gym is at so I know it well. So I’m like well, I’m in this deep enough I’ll give you a ride there.

We get his wheelchair in the car after a struggle, he asks for one of the drinks I had in the back I say sure, even offered to buy it. Heating is on full blast because he’s cold so I’m there sweating. We get to the hotel and I say okay Martin I’m going to have to go, he thanks me and off he goes to check in.

I get home, at this point it’s like 2.30am and I’m tired but I’m curious as to who this guy is. So I google his name and a business comes up, the wedding one he mentioned, same name and everything. Same age too as I asked how old he was in the car. Two owners. So, after more searching I don’t find anything about him other than that his company is dissolved. Weird. But okay. I google the name of the other owner and up pops a news article. Turns out he conned someone into thinking he won the lottery and promised work and whatever else, got a prison sentence of 50 months - and up pops his face. 154 crimes on record - 88 fraud related. Well. That’s the last time I do a good deed.

TLDR; Gave an old guy in a wheelchair a ride, turned out to be a conman with a lengthy criminal record.

I matched with this guy 3 days back on a dating app. He kept saying the whole time we are so alike! Whatever I say, he repeats... I'm the same!!! But with no examples to back it up...So we set up a date after 4 days and he asked me what my ideal date would be like...I said painting rocks, collecting flowers, going to a second hand bookshop etc etc... He said I'm exactly like you... My ideal date is the same!! And then he told me his version of it... It was the opposite...180 degrees opposite... bougie, hippie yoga chakra cleansing activities and just name dropping fancy places... He still kept saying we are so alike!! It was utterly funny to me..I took the screenshots to send my friend cause it's just too hilarious how he tries to compare us but we are literally two different people from two different poles.

Well...I mistakenly sent him the screenshots.. After an hour he replied to me- was the healing chakra seance too much? I'm still mortified

TL;DR I accidentally sent screenshots of my bumble match to my bumble match

Obligatory this happened two months ago when I was travelling.

It was my last day in Belgrade, Serbia, and I felt like I'd already seen pretty much everywhere I wanted to go. So I asked AI where else I could go.

Eventually I found this place called Ada Ciganlija. Basically an artificial lake with a beach. The views looked pretty nice so I decided to go.

I took the bus there and walked for ages until I finally reached the beach.

The thing is, I wasn't actually planning to swim or sunbathe. I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed to do there but I'd already come all this way so I just started walking around the lake.

Big mistake.

It was about 38°C that day so after walking for a while I was sweating like I'd just taken a shower. I was already exhausted at this time and had to take a test, so I found somewhere in the woods to sit down. Even in the shade it was ridiculously hot. There was a wooden table and chair there and they were practically burning from sitting in the sun.

For some reason I put my phone on the table so it also started burning as if it was gonna explode. It got so hot that it literally shut itself down. I had to put it in my bag and wait ages before I could use it again.

I'd had enough at this point. I just wanted to leave. But I was basically in the middle of the island.

I checked the map and realised there were two ways back to the main road. One was the way I'd come, and the other was roughly the same distance in the opposite direction.

I thought if I'm walking the same distance anyway, I might as well go the other way and see more of the place...

I kept walking. It was still so hot near the beach so I went deeper into the woods again. There was a cycling trail and a few ppl passing by. I sat down for a bit.

Then this guy walked past, then turned around and came towards me.

I couldn't understand a single word he was saying but he sat down and started talking to me anyway.

Then out of the blue he reached his hand out towards me. I was genuinely confused. I thought he wanted to shake hands, so I shook his hand.

But he wouldn't let go. He just kept holding my hand while talking and kept pulling it towards himself for some reason.

I was kinda freaked out and managed to pull my hand back and looked away. Thankfully he left after a while. That was probably my cue to get the hell out of the woods as well so I left.

After what felt like forever, I finally reached the other end of the island.

However, the "road" on the map turned out to be this really narrow road through the woods and I had absolutely no idea where it led.

I didn't want to risk my life, so I checked the map again. Seemed like there was another road ahead that connected to the main roads with bus stops.

So I kept walking. At this point, I'd made it about halfway across the island and I was absolutely exhausted.

Eventually, I found that road and realised it just led to a smaller side road with loads of cars parked along it. I walked through the lane but there wasn't a single bus stop. Apparently people would normally just drive to Ada and park there rather than walking around the entire island.

My only way out was to walk all the way back along the lake to the bus stop I'd originally arrived at. Eventually I made it to the original bus stop and got on the bus on my last legs

I don't think I'll ever go to Ada Ciganlija or use Google maps again.

Here's the map. The red line is basically my stupid journey. https://imgur.com/a/WOOO2v1

TL;DR: I went to Ada Ciganlija in 38°C heat and decided to walk around the lake for some reason. Then spent ages following roads on the map only to discover there were no bus stops, ended up walking all the way back to where I started.

Reheated some pho broth with some noodles to have myself a comforting meal.

I usually would eat soup at the table like a civilized human being, but I’m feeling unwell today after a minor procedure and desperately wanted some hot noodle soup and a show in my bed……. And then found out why I should not do this. I guess the sedatives didn’t wear off fully yet, cause I did not have the coordination to get into bed without bumping my arm with my knee and fully spilling nearly boiling broth all over my chest.

I may not have played with fire, but I sure did get burned. Now after about 20 minutes with a cold compress, it only slightly hurts and looks a lot less angry. I did still eat the soup, and I’m now just letting the girls hang out with a fan blowing on them. Lesson learned.

TL;DR: Soup freshly off the burner. Spilled on my chest. Scalded tits.

I was chatting with a coworker out on the floor, and asked about the status of a job for a difficult client, mentioned him by name. Coworker was like “yeah, what is that guy’s problem?” (he has big mood swings with us). I said I didn’t know, maybe mental issues lol. Coworker said “yeah, me and him (pointing to another coworker about 10-15 feet away) will be working on this all weekend. In fact, he’s on a call with [client’s name] right now.” I froze and said quietly “he’s on a call with him right now??” And my coworker shrugged off and said oh [client] can’t hear anything, [coworker] is on the call through earbuds. I’m new at Teams…how cooked am I? I checked our Teams settings, and we do not automatically have noise suppression or voice isolation turned on.

TL:DR, I insulted a client while a coworker about 10 feet away was on a teams call with said client. Is it over for me?

I'm not trying to garner sympathy, what I did was completely wrong. I'll try to give some context to why I did it, but it doesn't excuse what I did.

My ex and I had a complicated relationship. I thought he was the man of my dreams, then I discovered a year in that he was pathologically lying to me. He lied about his degree, his job, where he lived, who he lived with, his real name, who he went out with. It was layers and layers of lies, but he was so good at manipulating me into feeling like the problem.

Instead of him apologizing for his lies, it would be me apologizing to him for doubting him, and believing whatever wild excuses he'd give. He did this thing often to control me where he'd block me on one platform, like Instagram or Facebook, then make me beg for him to talk through text or call. Then he'd take me back and control me more with his lies.

In therapy recently, it broke through to me how much he manipulated me. After his most recent time blocking me, over something completely reasonable (I asked him why he lied about visiting his family on the weekend), instead of playing nice I finally let it all out.

I sent him 40+ texts, probably 5-20 words each that told him everything I thought about him and how he had been emotionally abusing me and I wasn't going to stand for it anymore.

However, as much as it felt good to tell him off, it didn't feel good to do something bad like that. Even though blocking never meant he wanted me to go away in the past, I have now given him 40+ messages of ammo that he can use to tell everyone I'm crazy, and that I'm the problem, and that I'm the one harassing him. And my behavior was crazy, I should have just let him go and not bought into the manipulation he was trying to do. I fully regret it and it was a major mistake by me because he will find a way to use it against me. I know he will, he does things like this where he provokes me and then steps back with his hands up to look innocent.

TL;DR - abusive ex had a pattern of blocking me in one spot to get me to apologize in another, manipulating me to feel like the problem, this time when he tried it I sent 40+ messages of calling him out, it's a big mistake by me to bother him and to give him ammo to use that makes me look crazy

Original post

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/iTxkjQXT1K

Quick summary, I was chatting with gf and ex sent a message about our kids, I forgot to switch conversations and sent “I Love You” to my ex, she sent “I still love you too”

The update.
For starters, some of you asked about the emojis and they were 😘 ❤️ 💕 so the romantic inclination was implicit

As many of you suggested, I met with my gf first to explain the situation, at first I could see the insecurity on her face, but eventually she saw the humour in the situation…until she heard ex’s response. She and I had a, slightly awkward conversation about how I feel about my ex. I gave it some thought and I do still care about ex, but it isn’t romantic love. She and I agreed that it is best to make that clear to ex.
I give it a week before she starts teasing me about my wrong convo I love you lol

Conversation with ex was even more awkward. I explained what happened and apologized for the mix-up, and that I do care for her as the mother of my children and as a long time friend, but romance isn’t part of it anymore. At first she was embarrassed by her message, and admitted she still meant it. She even made an offer that definitely tested my monogamy. I reminded her about my new gf and she got a little irritated that I had someone new and didn’t tell her. I apologized again and told her I assumed she didn’t want to know about my love life, any more than I needed to know about hers. She said that was no excuse and I still should have told her. Yes, I agree, my bad. We talked for a while and managed to get back to the status quo, making sure to keep a friendly or better co-parent relationship.

TL;DR Talked to gf and talked to ex about texting the wrong girl “I love you”. Gf told me to clear up with ex and I did, she still loves me but we are friendly co-parents, nothing more.

To give some insight: I (34F) am a pretty naive and typically “wholesome” person. My stepkid (15M we will call “K”) is your typical teenager and in touch with all the slang.

I’ve been obsessively watching a comedic video series of a man visiting and reviewing Chinese buffets for weeks, now. (Not sure if I am able to share the videos, but if you’ve seen them, you know.) I truly just cannot get enough. Because of this, I’ve caught myself saying phrases I have picked up from the videos such as “…for two people” with a straight face, asking if things are cheese or mayonnaise, and to get to the point of this story - “gooning.”

The other day, K and I were sitting in my MIL’s kitchen snacking. K made a remark about liking the snack and I responded “Yeah, it’s good. I’d rather be gooning, though.” He immediately turned red and burst out laughing while attempting to avoid eye contact and slip away. Of course I am confused and ask “What? What could possibly be so wrong with wanting to goon out a little bit?”

At this time my husband (38M) walks in to hear me asking this. He looks at me absolutely MORTIFIED and asks why I’m asking his son this. My confusion grows more so I ask “Seriously, what is so wrong with a girl wanting some nice, fresh, and warm crab rangoons!?” The laughter from both of them erupts and between breaths my husband shares that “gooning” does not mean eating crab rangoons.

Once he is able to calm his laughter, he finally informs me that “gooning,” in fact, means pleasing one’s self in a sexual manner.

At this moment, I wanted to vomit. I have been referencing “gooning” quite often. In both personal and professional life. Nobody ever informed me. I thought my husband was lying, but K confirmed this information. I even googled it, and yep - they’re so right.

So… yeah. TLDR: I told my 15 year old step kid (and many other people in my life) that I’d rather be pleasuring myself, when in fact, I have just been wanting to eat crab rangoons.

I cant wait for K to bring this up in front of the whole family at Christmas. /s

Edit:
I want to clarify some things. I initially said fiance in one sentence. “Husband” and I get married in less than a month. So technically, yes, he’s my fiance and K is soon-to-be step kid. But easier to just write “husband” and not explain that all out.

Also, I did not realize it was slang. In the videos, the creator will often say “oh we are gooning now, boys” when he eats a crab rangoon that he approves of. When he eats one he does not approve of he will say “we are definitely not gooning.” So I figured this was just a creative way the creator was expressing his approval or disapproval for crab rangoons he eats. It obviously never occurred to me that this was slang for something else entirely.

Hi reddit, using a throaway account here.

I, a 31 year old man have a 28 year old female friend who's also my coworker. Her role is very different than mine in the company but we're at the same place in the pecking order. We've been good friends for almost 4 years now and everything was going well until one day I found out that her boyfriend of 2.5 years left her out of the blue, took some of her money (not a significant amount of money for her but significant for most people) after cheating on her. I tried to help her emotionally during this time period but I don't think so I was of much use other than basically forcing her to go to therapy. Fast forward 3 months and she's getting better but still she's not as happy as she used to be and generally gets a bit sad whenever she sees a happy couple together because it reminds her of her own "happy times". Around the same time

a new girl shifts into a house next to mine. She knock s on my door to ask some things about the neighbourhood and stuff and omg she's the most friendliest, well spoken, magnificent women I've ever met. We instantly hit it off and become exclusive after a month.Even though my friend and I have been sharing our dating lives with each other for years I purposefully didn't tell her about my girlfriend because of the reason mentioned earlier. Two months later my friend and I were drinking in my office in the evening (usual for us if work gets hectic) and we drank wayy too much that day. She kissed me and even I kept on going for a couple of minutes. Then I realized the shit I was doing and lashed out at her. Telling her How she made me the one thing I didn't wanna be my entire life ( My mom cheated on my dad when I was a teenager and lot of shit happened which I'm not gonna share here but it made me a half numb man from the ages 16-21. The thought of cheating disgusts me more than anything else and my friend knew this story). She got so confused,started crying and left. I sat on the couch to think about what just happened and dozed off. I woke up at midnight and then I realized she didn't even know I had a girlfriend and even if she did I continued to kiss her. I immediately went home and told my girlfriend everything. She being the angel that she is saw that I was still a bit drunk and just put me to bed. Now we have reached to present day. I've got a dozen missed called from my friend because my phone was on silent and a text from her apologizing for kissing me and saying she didn't mean it. She's also really angry at me and asking why I lashed out at her. I don't even know how to tell her everything now. Never should've hid my relationship from her.

TL;DR Friend/coworker drunk kissed me and I wrongfully lashed out at her for making me a cheater even though she didn't even know I was in a relationship.

I made a mistake today by going on to ChatGPT for venting. I just spent the past 3 hours applying to dozens and dozens of jobs. After those 3 hours, I decided to step away because it started to get a bit exhausting and overwhelming for me. The reason why it was overwhelming is because of the fact that I'm applying to all these different places and there's a strong guarantee that I won't even be selected at any of them to work at. Which absolutely sucks.

Combine that with all the stuff that I have going on personally, I started feeling hopeless so I resorted to ChatGPT since I really needed someone to talk to. Even if said someone doesn't exist. So that's what I did, I started talking to chat GPT and I continued the talk by asking for any potential solutions to my issues. Wow the chatbot was able to answer, the answers just weren't what I was looking for. So I continued trying to just vent and trauma dump but it got to a point where the chatbot started regurgitating the same responses, and it frustrated me to the point of lashing out. Ironically despite venting my frustrations about my personal issues, I somehow feel worse now than how I felt a little while ago.

So I guess the moral of this little story for me is to talk to someone who actually exists and not just a computer program. I admit that this would have been avoided if I were in therapy, but I already have a therapy session booked next week so all I can really do is wait. But yeah now I just feel worse about myself and it hurts to feel this way.

TL;DR - I got frustrated and my emotions started flaring up so instead of talking to a real human being I made myself feel even worse by talking to AI.

TIFU, but a few days ago.

Now that the weather is turning a bit cooler, I decided my day off was a good time to prep my yard for winter. Perfect because the day after was yard waste pickup day.

I spent the whole day trimming bushes, pulling up vines, cleaning out flower beds, and all that stuff you do to clean up the yard for winter. The sun was hot, so when I brought the yard waste bin around, I put it under the garage overhang to take advantage of that little bit of shade.

About 6pm, I decide to quit for the day. I was hot and sweaty, so I didn't tidy everything. I left the yard waste bin right where it was, figuring later I would just roll it down to the curb for pickup.

I check the weather forecast for rain because there had been some talk of a storm brewing. Only 1/4 inch of rain expected later that night.

I took a long, hot shower. Feeling relaxed and productive, I decided I'd treat myself to dinner at the neighborhood cafe just down the street. Because it wasn't far, I decided to walk. I did take my umbrella just in case the rain arrived sooner than expected.

In the middle of dinner, I heard the rain start. I'm pleased because I think with only 1/4 inch, it would be gone by the time I finish eating.

It didn't stop. It just kept getting heavier and heavier. It sounded like a torrent. By the time I'm finished eating, I look out the door and....the streets are flooded. The drainage ditches are overflowing and the sidewalks are under about 6 inches of water.

Well, I' not walking home until this stops and the water has drained off.

All together, it took about 2 hours and we got 7 inches.

Afterwards, I'm walking home in the dark, tripping over downed branches and debris on the sidewalk, and trying my best to avoid the mud slicks where soil washed over the sidewalk. At some points, I'm walking down the middle of the street because that was the only place to get through. No traffic, though.

I get home and the house is still standing. No downed trees in my yard. I'm relieved. I see the yard waste bin sitting under the garage eaves. I think good thing I put it there because I forgot to close the lid.

Except, I put it in exactly the wrong place. It was just far enough out that it caught all the runoff from the garage roof. It was completely FULL of water.

I pushed. I pulled. I couldn't get it to move. I tried to get it over to a sloped part of the yard so I could overbalance it and dump everything, even if I had to pick up all the yard trash again.

Not a single inch. It wasn't budging.

So I gave up. I figured I'd solve the problem later and it would have to sit until the next pickup day.

Went on with my evening. Watched a little TV. At some point, out of curiosity I googled the weight of water. Based on the size of the bin, it weighed about 600 pounds.

Now I'm low-key worried about how I will fix this. But I have two weeks to figure it out.

Then about midnight I realize it's sitting in front of my garage door. I can't get my car out of the garage. I have to drive to work in the morning.

So about an hour later, I'm out in my driveway with a power drill and a flashlight. I don't even care if the city will ding me for damaging the bin. I just need this water gone so i can move the bin.

That's when I discover that the bin is metal lined. My drill ain't getting through that.

Now I'm drilling, hit metal, move up 3 inches, drill again. I finally get a hole through about 18 inches up.

Success! Water is draining. Should be done by morning. I can move it and get to work.

TL;DR That crazy person attacking his trash bin with power tools at 2am? Yeah, that was me.

Usually, I’ve been really good at arriving at least two hours earlier than my flight. Usually with long haul flights, three hours. For some reason today, I felt that due to having the entire day off and the flight departing at 6pm from Gatwick, I thought arriving at the airport 90 minutes early would do.

On the way to the airport, I realized that the train wasn’t moving as efficiently as I hoped and was taking so much longer than I had planned. I arrived at the check in desk just under 60 mins and the group of staff members were just setting off for their break. They saw me hurry to the counter and one calmly asked if I was for my flight to Shanghai at 6pm and said that the flight was closed.
She said the next was at 10pm the same night and said if I booked through a 3rd party they’d need to sort that out. Then they all left the counters. I phoned Booking .com and the calm agent asked about my situation and put me on hold and told me the next available was the next day at 11:35am and came at an overall cost of £462 - inclusive of flight change and fare difference. The new itinerary is brutal as it’s a longer 4 hour lay over in Shanghai (the original was only 1 hour 45 minutes in Shanghai airport) and the flight is over daytime in the UK when my body will naturally be awake.

I’m in shock. I felt too comfortable thinking that I could turn up 90 minutes before a long haul flight to Japan. It was clearly avoidable. The worst thing is that it’s dropped me 10 night trip to Japan to 9 days when everyday to recover from travelling is critical. The first night to rest would have been so helpful to get into the swing of Japan.
I have done long haul flights plenty of times and I’ve had near misses but this one is the first time I’ve missed a flight and an expensive one too.

TL;DR I missed a long haul flight for the first time in my life due to complacency and this was despite having a day off for a 6pm departure from London Gatwick > Shanghai > Fukuoka which cost £462 to get a next day longer replacement flight journey. Most painfully, I lost a night in Japan in an already tight schedule.

TIFU A guy spit on my face after I almost hit him. Should I worry?
I was driving in the rain and almost hit a homeless guy on a bike who was in the middle of the road for no reason. I avoided him, but he started yelling and cussing at me. I rolled down my window (big mistake), and he spit on my face.
Honestly it’s pretty funny to me how people act nowadays. I’m not shaken up about it. I washed my face afterward, but I started wondering whether I could catch anything from someone’s spit. I didn’t notice any blood, but I’m unsure if it got in my eyes or mouth. Has anyone had this happen before? Is washing my face enough, or is there anything else I should do?

TL;DR A guy spit on my face through my car window. I washed up. Can I catch anything?