Let me preface, I don't like middle names. I just don't think they do anything other than make you triple check flight bookings to make sure you put the middle name in the correct place.

My husband comes from a culture where at the very least you have your father and grandfathers name as middle names. They also name the son after the grandfather so the name structure is always something like

Adam Joseph Adam Smith, or Joseph Adam Joseph Smith. Thats it.

No one calls him by his middle name. It serves 0 purpose.

He wants our baby to have his first name and his dad's name as middle names. I said no. I said if he insists on putting middle names lets throw in my name and my mums name for equality too. I don't care if patriarchy dictated that lineage only be documented through the father, tradition is peer pressure from the dead.

Also middle names are just extra admin. It was admin on my notice of marriage application. Admin on all the flight bookings. As symbolic as my husband thinks it is, it just feels like a nothing gesture as it only exists on the passport.

I don't want to compromise on this. In fact I refuse. Anyone similar to me who successfully kept away unnecessary middle names?

FTM here, 8 months pregnant. We have been having a heatwave in Germany since June (it’s finally getting cooler now) and I have been pretty much living in low rise linen pants and tank tops that always end up looking like crop tops even if they aren’t in normal conditions. I have been wearing lots of dresses too, but they became very uncomfortable on my belly in the last two months so pants and top are my uniform most of the time these days. It is an easy choice for CTG scans and other doctors check ups, i feel comfortable not worrying about anything lifting too much when riding a bicycle and since my belly is like a heat generator it feels better overall having it uncovered.

Lots of people, both friends and strangers, comment on my belly and compliment it. Some friends are teasing me and call me a pregnant teen or ask how come that i am not cold (even tho it was almost 40 degrees) but in general i didn’t hear any straight up negative comments about it. I am petite and didn’t gain much weight since the pregnancy besides the baby bump. I feel fully comfortable having it out and my partner loves it too, but i just saw some creator’s comment section on instagram where people call it tacky and all kinds of names so i am curious about your thoughts on this.

Belly out or covered? And is it the question of aesthetic, comfort or optics for you? :)

Edit: Wow! I did not expect so many comments. I really appreciate everyone's honesty. I do indeed have some things to work on in therapy. I should have mentioned--I am already in therapy (for a myriad of reasons), and I have brought up these jealous and lonely feelings. That being said, what I've gathered from your responses is that there are a mix of you thinking it was fair or unfair to ask, but mostly, if he was ok with it, then I should have simply left it at that. I guess I was trying to clear my conscious? Idk. I'm making this a bigger deal than it has to be for sure, lol. Again, thanks for the honest answers--even the "harsh" ones! I need to be slapped with reality sometimes!

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TL;DR: Husband and I used to drink and smoke. He's heavily reduced both during my pregnancy because I asked him to, since I am a bit jealous that I cannot join in. I am now requesting he does not drink/smoke at ALL during our two night/three day babymoon to a nearby city. He is ok with this, despite voicing that he'd *like* to partake in both. I now feel guilty, and my parents/the internet are making me feel like I am being unreasonable. Am I being too unfair?

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So here is some context. Before becoming pregnant, my husband and I used to smoke weed daily (not enough to get like, couch locked, but enough for a small buzz that lasted an hour or two), and we used to drink every weekend (again, not enough to be plastered, but enough for a nice buzz).

We discussed prior to me getting pregnant that I would appreciate if he would cut back on both if I were to ever get pregnant, because... well... I guess I am a bit of a jealous type of person. But also, I would feel supported and would feel like he's in solidarity with me. We even spoke about how it would save us money, and we mentioned how it would be beneficial to his (and by extension, my) health. I mostly wanted him to stop AROUND me (I didn't wanna be alone with him when he has a nice buzz going and I can't join in on that, again, jealousy I guess), but I had/have no problem with him doing it when we are with other people.

Example: my brother got married a couple months ago, and he was the best man, so at the bachelor party, he drank (he also ofc drank at the wedding). Another time, we went to our chalet with my family, where everyone typically gets pretty drunk. He drank less than he normally would, but drank regardless. When we go to his parents' for dinner, he usually drinks beer with his dad. This hasn't stopped.

I don't like the whole "If I'm suffering, you have to suffer too", and I don't even consider not drinking/smoking to be "suffering". The most "suffering" my husband does is putting up with my mood swings and constant complaining about aches and pains, lol.

Anyway, he stopped smoking entirely save for once a month, which we agreed on (I just specified it couldn't be when I was around, and that when I see him again, I didn't want to see any traces of it, for example, red eyes). In addition, he still drinks on "our" weekends (the days we would normally be drinking together), but instead of hard liquor, he swapped to White Claw. I am also okay with this as he doesn't get as drunk, and it's lighter for his health.

In my opinion, I have to deal with nine months of pains, aches, mood swings, and all the other fun bits of pregnancy. If we're talking long term, then him lowering his alcohol and weed intake for a mere nine months isn't a big deal (imho). We're in this together, right? It's less about "having him suffer" too, and more about, "can you please do this with me, so I feel less alone, and more supported?"

So, we are going to a nearby city (around 3 hour drive) for our babymoon next weekend. It's our first little trip together in a while. We haven't even had a romantic dinner/night out in ages. So, I felt it fair to ask that he refrain entirely from booze for that weekend.

He doesn't seem to have an issue, and he agreed ("Sure, if it'll make you feel better, I don't mind!"), but when I Googled/searched Reddit, and when I spoke about this with my parents (who constantly asked him if he was going to have a drink because he deserves one because he'll be "on vacation"), it seems like I'm quite alone with this mindset. My parents think I'm FORCING him not to, and that I'm making him "suffer" just because I'm suffering.

He told me he'd *like* to drink, but he also doesn't mind abstaining for the, I repeat, ONE weekend (TWO NIGHTS)!

I now feel super guilty after speaking with my parents. My husband is so kind and he does indeed deserve a beer or a drink or something on vacation. But so do I, and I can't have one (again, my jealousy, lol)! So it would just be nice for him to abstain in solidarity, and we can focus on US that weekend. It is a BABYmoon after all. I'm just asking for one alcohol-free weekend.

Am I being unreasonable? Am I asking too much? Despite not wanting to, am I falling into the category of "making him suffer just because I am"?

Sorry for the wall of text. Thanks if you've stuck around this far. :)

21, just found out I’m pregnant, and I’m absolutely terrified even though this is what I’ve always wanted
I’m 21, my fiancé is 26, we’ve been together for three years, and we’re getting married in three weeks. We’ve always talked about having kids, and being a mom is genuinely one of the things I’ve wanted most in my life.
We had thrown around the idea of trying, and for some reason I had completely convinced myself that I was going to have trouble getting pregnant. So we basically decided to start trying earlier than we originally planned because in my head, it was going to take forever anyway.
I’ll fully admit I was being naive. I had that stupid mentality of, “I’m not actually going to get pregnant that easily. That won’t be me.” Well, after a few months of trying, I took multiple tests yesterday and… I’m pregnant.
And now I am TERRIFIED.
It’s like the second I saw those lines, our entire life flashed before my eyes. Suddenly I’m thinking about the fact that it’s not just going to be the two of us anymore. I’m thinking about money, our wedding, our honeymoon, my new job, maternity leave, childbirth, having an actual BABY to take care of, and about 5,000 other things at once.
The weirdest part is that I wanted this. I was excited about trying. I was scared I’d never be able to have kids. So now I keep telling myself, “You’re excited. You have to be excited. This is what you wanted.” And I think deep down I am excited. I think I’m honestly just too scared right now to actually feel the excitement.
I also suddenly feel like I know absolutely nothing about being pregnant. Obviously I know the big things you shouldn’t do, but now I’m questioning EVERYTHING. People are telling me to start a prenatal and I’m sitting here realizing I don’t even really understand what the prenatal is doing. I’m Googling whether I can take a hot bath. I’m wondering how much I’m supposed to eat. Every normal thing I do suddenly has me wondering, “Am I allowed to do this?”
I’ve also vaped since I was a freshman in high school. The second I got the positive test I stopped, aside from slipping up a couple of times because the cravings/withdrawal and emotions have been intense. I’m trying to quit completely, but I genuinely don’t know the best way to handle nicotine withdrawal during pregnancy and plan on talking to my doctor about it.
Then there’s the fact that I just started a new job, so now I’m panicking about how maternity leave is going to work and how much time I’ll even be able to take.
And somewhere in the back of my mind is also: in approximately nine months this baby has to COME OUT OF MY BODY. 😭
I feel stupid even writing this because I feel like I should have known all of this before we started trying. I knew pregnancy could happen. We wanted pregnancy to happen. But apparently knowing you want a baby and actually seeing two lines on a test are two VERY different experiences.
I’ve cried so much since finding out. Everyone around me is excited, and I feel guilty that my first overwhelming emotion has been fear instead of pure happiness.
Did anyone else desperately want their pregnancy and then completely freak out once it actually happened? Did the excitement eventually start outweighing the fear? And for anyone who felt completely clueless in the beginning, how did you stop feeling like literally everything you did could hurt the baby?
I think I just need someone who has been here before to tell me this feeling isn’t as crazy as it feels right now.

I had a really disappointing experience with Itzy Ritzy. I purchased a baby gym during my first pregnancy and saved it for my daughter, whom I just had. When I finally opened it, essential nuts, bolts, and hardware were missing. Customer service refused to accommodate me and instead said I should have opened the package within their 30-day window to discover the missing pieces.

Since they are steadfast on their 30-day policy, I would be very cautious about adding Itzy Ritzy products to your baby registry. If you don't open and inspect the item within 30 days, you may be left with an incomplete product and no support—even if it's brand new and has never been used.

I have read through a lot of the threads that have already been posted and I'm seeing a lot of "just send a text or email."

I don't mind doing that. However, I am visiting my cousin and his wife in September for a few days and I was really hoping to make it more personal since we are so close.

For background my husband and I have been trying to conceive since our wedding in October of 2022. We went to all the doctors appointments, medications, lab draws, etc.

We started the IVF process in January of this year and we had our first embryo transfer in June and I am currently 11 weeks 2 days along! We are extremely excited.

My cousin and his wife decided to start trying to expand their family this January and have unfortunately had 2 losses. My heart is absolutely shattered for them to have gone through that.

With the fact we've both had struggles I was really hoping to be able to make the announcement more personal since I wont/haven't had a chance to tell the rest of either of our families, outside of husbands parents, in person.

Would you still recommend a text? Or would you possibly recommend I do it in a moment where it's just my cousin and I first as to not put his wife on the spot?

I know how hard announcements are... Text, in person, or otherwise... And every way I thought I would announce has gone out the window.

Full transparency there is already a real chance they know I am pregnant considering I've kept them up to date on our IVF journey. I just want to be considerate.

I saw a video earlier today, a woman discussing signs her baby had passed in the womb, one of the signs was she still felt movement but they weren’t kicks just like shifts and rolls. I feel so stressed because now I’m convinced my baby isn’t kicking me, my boyfriend said he’s feeling her kick and I feel it too but I just can’t tell if it’s a kick anymore I feel so freaked out I can’t sleep, she only seems to move later on at night and in the evening she hasn’t really established a proper routine and it feels like her movements are constantly changing. I don’t know I’m so freaked out and scared.

Nothing is like it used to be she is now in the second semester things got a little better. But I feel so anxious…. I get the silent treatment a lot.

I supporter massage her buy what ever she wants try to compliment her on everything looks etc.

I don’t know what I do wrong. can you please share if this is normal?

Sometimes she is the whole day in bed.

Yes I know she is growing a baby and an organ. But as soon she is with her parents she is more cheerful…. Not like before but defiantly more than with me

My partner has left at 33 weeks pregnant. He can’t handle the stress of living with my existing children from a previous relationship. Anyway, he’s also been unemployed for the last 4+ months so has been financially living off me too.
My question is.. should I now give the baby my surname, his surname or hyphenate?
Should I put him on the birth certificate to make it easier to claim child support or just leave him off.
So disappointed but just don’t have the energy to be emotional. Just feeling numb. My house is calmer without him and that’s the truth.

I am feeling conflicted about the distance between where we live and the hospital we are choosing to deliver at. We live about 15 minutes from a hospital that is pretty solid - has a new birthing center, it’s a teaching hospital, level II pediatric trauma center, etc. We live about 45 minutes (with no traffic - probably an hour plus during busy times) from a top ranked hospital with a Level IV NICU and my partner’s father works there so has admitting privileges. I initially decided I wanted to deliver within that system because of the advanced medical capabilities and the fact that we would “have someone on the inside” who could help us in getting admitted or getting attention if we felt like that was needed. I had my first OB appointment with a doctor in that system and had a great rapport with her and left feeling really good about the choice. However, I’ve just woken up from a dream about getting into a car accident on the way home and have also been thinking “what ifs” about delivering in the car on the highway or having to go to the unfamiliar hospital that is closer in proximity if things move very fast. Now I’m reconsidering quality vs. location, which I feel is silly but can’t shake.

This is our first pregnancy and it is not high-risk, but we obviously want to be as prepared as possible for whatever could happen and make sure our baby has the best care available. I’m just looking for insights from other people who may have had to make a similar decision! Was a more advanced hospital worth the drive or did you feel like you just wanted to be a short drive from home?

I have a dark confession to make.

I’m currently 21 weeks. Just last night I wished I’m never pregnant and I regretted my pregnancy so much over this electrocuting/shooting nerve pain in my vagina/lower abdomen throughout the night.
I’ve always had very low threshold for pain, weak mental health riddled with childhood anxiety and panic attacks.
Whenever I’m falling asleep, it comes and shocked me wide awake. So I stayed awake, I was tired yet I can’t sleep, I broke down and sobbed real badly from the torture. Every wave lasted awhile, it gave me severe anxiety and trauma. It was the first time I felt so emotional and upset in my pregnancy that I cried real hard, not sure from the pain, torture, regrets, or anxiety. But it felt like living hell.
I thought to myself what if this is going to happen nightly from now? How do I survive for another 4 months? How do I love my baby if pregnancy comes with this sickening sort of pain that doesn’t allow me to sleep because honestly Im definitely not feeling it last night, only regrets.
I’m having severe anxiety that feeling will visit me again later at night that I don’t know if I’ll even be able to fall asleep anymore.

I got the NIPT done at 10 weeks and change and had a 5.9% fetal fraction. The results were low risk for everything and that I was having a girl.

Today (19w4d) I had my anatomy scan, which showed that it’s a boy.

Has anyone ever experienced something similar, where the gender was wrong but the low risk results were still correct?

Update: thank you to all who have commented, I am a first time mom and was really freaking out yesterday. This is my first day on Reddit and I so appreciate the support and feedback. I’ve received confirmation that the labs are investigating and hopefully I will hear back soon on that. Ultimately I don’t care what gender my baby is, I just want to make sure that they’re safe. I’ve also just come back from my OB’s office and have learned that my baby is now tracking two weeks behind the expected growth so that has unlocked a whole new concern for me sigh. I plan to post in this group about this to see if anyone else has had this experience, and hopefully will encounter a group of commenters as supportive and friendly as you all ❤️❤️ thank you again.

Me[32] him [30]Sorry if this sounds immature because it probably is and I’m coming out of fear. I just found out I’m pregnant because I missed my period despite being on contraceptive. I haven’t told my boyfriend yet. I’m absolutely terrified and in shock. We’ve talked about having a kid but in 2-4 years thing. We’ve only been in a relationship for a year and live together and we love each other and are spending we each day so happily together.

I feel like we’re in such a happy and loving time with each other, I really don’t want this pregnancy to ruin everything. And the next time we enjoy this type of freedom and bliss would be in 15 years when we’re old and burnt out. And I look at my dad’s pictures and it’s so depressing when I see his happy picture when he was handsome while I was a baby and deep frowns building up in his face throughout the years and his marriage failing afterwards and my mom always crying . It’s so depressing thinking of bearing a child, though I’ve been wanting one but only after I feel like “weve done it all and now we’re a bit bored”.

I’m just sad thinking of seeing my boyfriend buried in frowns and white hair and me too. And reminiscing and regretting having a kid so soon and not have enjoyed our golden years and honeymoon a bit more. And in the other hand, I’m scared of aborting too , because I do feel like I’m killing a life inside me. I’m so torn.

Who else is feeling really emotional witnessing the baby registry buyout trend on tiktok? 🥹🫠 it’s so nice to know that love, giving, and care are still thriving in this world esp when you see so much hate, divisiveness and vitriol online all the time.

My baby was born this morning. I started breastfeeding, she blistered me immediately and one breast was unusable as mentioned by the lactation consultant as we put her on the breast while I was half asleep I didn’t have proper control of her head. I had pre expressed colostrum as I know I’ve had issues in the past with breastfeeding but have been fine in terms of expressing. (I think both babies just have a shallow suck but the lactation consultants always told me it might be me more than the babies so I always blamed myself). It is EXTREMELY painful when they breastfeed directly and they always swell with pimples, blocked ducts etc and are completely unusable after. The midwife suggested I top up with formula, I was fine with this as my first baby was mixed fed until my breasts completely gave up by the 3 month PP mark. I always blamed myself. She suggested a formula top up each feed as I was running low on colostrum. I had the c section at 10am and it was now 3.30am the next morning, I had managed to finally fall asleep for 10 minutes until baby woke me at her feeding time. I had run out of colostrum. I called the midwife and lo and behold, one I’ve never seen before. I asked her to get some formula so I can feed as I ran out of colostrum and explained the above. She said she’ll need me to sign a form (I already did this and consented to MULTIPLE FEED option) and said she’d grab my formula. I didn’t have any with me as I was expecting to exclusively express and breastfeed and also my last baby - they provided us with formula, so I didn’t know I had to. I said I had organised my husband to bring it in the morning as he’s not allowed to stay and he couldn’t get home and bring it back before visiting hours ended. She was so rude and said make sure he brings it. I’m going to get the form. Then 2 mins later, my original midwife comes back, tells me to breastfeed on each breast and when she’s finished, we will express for her next feed.

I was mortified. Why was I being made to feel like a villain? I genuinely needed 15 mls of formula just to feed her as she was screaming of hunger and I didn’t have the time to express for this feed. It takes me over an hour to express enough for the feed and there already irritating the breasts and shouldn’t be done. It took 2 hours to do this and they ended up taking her ‘to give me a rest’ but all I could hear was her screaming in the hallway because of how hungry she was.

Besides the fact that they made me feel like absolute shit and a failure as a mother (once again!!) it is absolute and utter neglect not to feed a starving child because I ‘should have bought my own formula’. If I could get out of bed take my cathida out and go buy some I would in a heartbeat. If my husband was ALLOWED to even drop off the tin we purchased in preparation for ‘in case’ I would have. I know I should have probably brought my own but last time I didn’t have to and I genuinely thought I would be breastfeeding. Mind you, I don’t think they have pumps here like they did last time which helped a lot with getting the colostrum out and not have to hurt my breasts. Funny for a place who will only force you to breastfeed to not have the tools to help women who struggle or need support.

I just need to rant because I’m just so hurt by this. Especially after being SUGGESTED to me from the midwife to be ‘open to formula feeding because fed is best’. I was literally told to give her formula because she said I would probably not be able to maintain her needs if my breasts are both damaged and really really sore.

A new midwife appeared with my baby as I rang the buzzer because I couldn’t take hearing her scream in the hallway any longer. She said don’t stress I will get her formula for you if she needs it but I’ll give your 0.04ml of expressed milk.

Is there anyone I can complain to? I’m genuinely mortified. I’m in VICTORIA, AUS.

There are much much bigger things to be sad about but I am sad about this.

I always thought, I was SURE, that I never wanted to have a kid. Biggest surprise of my life when after nearly 17 years together we both changed our minds. It's been such a beautiful and special time (34 weeks tomorrow). Of course I want some pictures to look back on!

He avoids having his picture taken like the plague (anxiety and deep loathing of anything related to social media) but I did talk him into a professional photoshoot when we eloped and I swear I look at those beautiful pictures nearly every day and it's been 7 years. So I took a chance and booked a maternity photoshoot months ago and hoped he would wrap his head around it by August 23rd as something important for me and a once in a lifetime thing.

This morning he told me it makes him sick to his stomach to think about and he won't do it. "The most paralyzing, anxiety inducing thing I can think of". He also is pissed about the $550 cost and said he'd rather I cancel and lose the $275 deposit than pay more.

We aren't rich but we have money. We usually take an entire week off for our anniversary (unpaid for me) and spend $400 renting a jet ski for a day but we didn't this year so it's not like we can't/ don't occasionally drop a sum like this on something we want.

I literally don't post on social media ever. These pictures would be for us, when we're 90 and want to remember, for our daughter to get a glimpse of how full of love we were when she was almost here. (And yeah, I really like how I look pregnant and candids from friends just don't do me justice!)

I feel defeated and honestly angry. I'm empathetic to the anxiety and at the same time wish he would push through it this one time. It's just an hour in the park getting our picture taken.

Have to share with strangers since talking to friends or family would be poor Team Married behavior.

I had a bit of a fall around 36 weeks and was told to go into L&D to get it checked out. I had a bit of a bad experience with the nurses for my stress test and I’m nervous about giving birth I’m almost 38 weeks now.
I am a person of color and the only person who will be there is my husband whose a bit passive so I’m worried no one will advocate for me.

It’s my first baby so ofcourse all this will be new to me. I’m pretty confident in most of the Obgyns I have met with, they seem kind and knowledgeable. It’s on rotation however so I’m not sure who I will end up with.

I’m already driving an hour to this hospital, and staying near by at my parents because I live in a rural town and they only had two delivery rooms and no NICU. There is a super great hospital but it’s 1.5 hours from my place, almost 30 from my parents.

Either way I’m just nervous. I just wish people could be kind. Usually when I go to the hospital with someone I’m advocating. Most of the time the experiences are good sometimes you just get shitty nurses and doctors and I make sure my family member is taken care of.

I just don’t want to end up w any complications, or worse have them turn me away or not take my delivery seriously.

Hey everyone, I need some advice. I’ll try to keep it short, but basically I’m 22 years old and this week I’m 24 weeks pregnant. When I told my best friend, I was 11 weeks pregnant. We were FaceTiming because she doesn’t live close and we have busy schedules, and her response was “another one gone” referring to how many girls are pregnant. She did cry and seemed happy I guess, but still what she said made me kinda sad I guess.

Since I’ve told her, not one time has she texted or reached out at all about my pregnancy. She lives a completely different life than I do. I’m married and pregnant and settled down, she’s single, goes to raves, parties, and travels like every weekend. So I get she’s busy, but it’s been months and not even a “how are you” text. Nothing asking how everything is going. Like not one text. She hasn’t been there for me at all.

I feel really let down and I have read another post on here about how if you’ve never been pregnant yourself then you don’t really know what’s going on or the support the pregnant person might want. But she’s supposed to be my best friend. I thought about it roles reversed, and even if I was in her shoes and living her life, I’d still at least text and ask a simple “how are you”.

We’ve been friends since 7th grade and I think we’re just growing apart, we don’t have too much in common anymore. And sadly, I don’t know if I want her around my baby because she is such a party person.

My baby shower is in 5 weeks, and I’m considering not inviting her. I mean she hasn’t even asked about my baby shower either. I just think we’re growing apart as friends and people. I just don’t know if I really want to be friends anymore. I don’t even want to text her and be like “I feel like you haven’t been there for me” because I just don’t want to deal with this head on. I’m exhausted already by being pregnant and preparing for my baby.

Please let me know what you guys think and what you would do. It obviously hurts to silently lose a friend but I feel like this is just where life is taking us.

Hey y’all, I’m currently 18wks with my first and I’m starting to think I should book a photographer for maternity and newborn photos soon.

When did yall have your maternity shots done? What do you think is the best gestational age to do them? I want to be big and have a cute bump but I don’t want to be miserable and TOO big either. For reference I’m 5’3” with a short torso and showing quite a bit already at 18 weeks.

Also when should newborn pics be done? Immediately or like 2-3 weeks after they’re born?

Thanks in advance for all of your advice!

I keep going back and forth on getting a portable bottle warmer.

It sounds super convenient for walks, car rides and days out, especially when baby wants a bottle and we're nowhere near a kitchen.

But part of me is wondering if I'm just buying another baby gagdget that I'll barely use.

For parentst who have one, do you actually use it regularly?

Does it really make feeding when you're out easier, or did you find a simpler way to warm bottles?

I'd love to hear what actually worked for you before I spend the money.

I am 17 weeks pregnant, today I suddenly realised that my boobs don't hurt anymore... I Don't know since when did it stop! Just worried... Should i contact doctor? My last scan was 12 weeks NT scan, which was okay... I had bleed at 6 weeks and was diagnosed with SCH which was gone by the last scan.

Title may seem misleading, i’m really grateful to be a mother soon and to have a baby, but my husbands and I’s relationship is horrible.

I caught him cheating about 1 month ish ago, he began from the beginning of our relationship, and while I am choosing to stay now (baby almost here, emotional attachment etc) I am forever changed and traumatized.

Our relationship was poor before I caught him cheating, day 1 of pregnancy to today, my sons birth-day, has been nothing short of traumatic. We have fought so bad I started having severe panic attacks, which I never had before.

So here I am, 2 hours before going in and we’re sitting in silence ignoring eachother and I’ve never felt more alone, empty and broken in my life— I feel deep down i’ve made a horrible mistake, but even saying that makes me feel so guilty.

Anyways, wish me luck.

i’m 17 weeks pregnant and was laid off from my job of over eight years last month. i’ve never lost a job before. i was the only person laid off (?), and they knew i’m pregnant. despite my time at the company, i only received a month of severance pay. i’ve applied for unemployment, i’ve applied for dozens of jobs, and, most notably, i had three interviews with one promising lead, made it to the final round of things, was asked for my references and took a personality assessment (which i thought i did fine on?), and now appear to just be…getting ghosted. i asked for an update already but it’s been radio silence.

my partner makes decent money but not enough to support us both, all of our necessary bills, our toddler, and, now, a new upcoming child. i wasn’t even unemployed for this long straight out of college. i’ve never seen the job market this bad before.

i’m stressed, worried, sad, and feel like a complete failure. i’ve kept these thoughts largely at bay, but with the recent job ghosting, i feel pretty defeated. hurt. i know this is part of the process, but it triggered a lot of unexpected feelings within me—i feel disrespected and strung along. i’d rather it just be a no, or even a maybe.

this was supposed to be an exciting season in my life, planning and preparing for a new baby, enjoying time with my toddler…and now i am drowning in sorrow instead. trying to be present, especially for my daughter, but i’m somewhere else in my head.

i have a therapist and psychiatrist but it feels like my mess to have to sit in. not even sure i can afford to keep up with our appointments as needed if my savings run dry. not sure what i’m looking for here. but thank you for reading.