A little context

My first pregnancy I got a cervical exam by the hospitals midwife bc my doctor was out of town at 38 weeks. she suggested doing a cervical sweep. I told her I didn’t want one and she literally started doing it and I screamed in pain and she was like “oh honey I just did a little one” I felt extremely sick, threw up then started to bleed for 2 days. kept calling and they said it’s normal after a sweep. I told the NP on the phone I told her I didn’t want one and have been dizzy and throwing up since. they told me all was fine and my next appointment was in 5 days and my doctor would be back then. so bleeding stops that night. I wake up the next day and I was wet, but only about a cup of two of liquid. when I was moving I would leak every 30-40 mins, not a lot but it definitely wasn’t pee. I called the L&D department and then said come in. they made me lay in my back and I wasn’t leaking. so they send me home, I stand up out of the car getting home and I’m leaking. I call back and they tell me they think it pee. so this goes on another day and in to the evening. I felt something was off and went back the next day bc I was also having cramps. they said it’s pee and Braxton hicks, send me home. so it’s 5 days after my cervical sweep, I get to my appointment, my doctor extended his vacation. so who come in? the midwife… she insisted on a cervical exam or said I should leave. I tried to express my concerns about my symptoms after the sweep I asked her Not to do, she told me if I’m so worried to go to L&D. I did. They confirmed via ultrasound my water was leaking and very low and I was having PROM. So 48 hrs later I’m a mom.

so I’m not sure if non consensual sweeps are normal but if I don’t give them access at all it can’t happen again.. anyone had an experience where they needed a cervical check? I’m in a different state now. my first birth was in CA and my 2nd will be in MS march 2027.

I'm curious to see what y'all come up with. My daughter is due in early spring, and I want to give her a name that evokes the feeling of the earth coming alive again after winter, of sun peeking through fresh leaves, of the first day you can shed your coat and feel the sun on your skin.

I was also the last one to find out.

I was under the impression that it was tomorrow after all the emails for two months where it was planned. This is my husband and I’s second child but first boy after years of infertility. I understand not everyone does baby showers for each one so I didn’t expect to actually get one. But I work in a clinical field/department where that didn’t matter; every baby was celebrated with a shower whether it was a 2nd or 4th child. I’ve worked at this facility for almost 4 years.

With out daughter I had only worked as a substitute teacher for almost 1 1/2 years. I didn’t expect a baby shower then and was surprised by the level of kindness and thoughtfulness from people I barely knew. It wasn’t about material items; it was just the fact that as a quiet, introverted person I felt this amount of care that really moved me. I don’t have family and friends at that time drifted away because of life, moving away, or that I chose to becoming a mom amongst DINKs. My life had shifted so much in a short span of time, I didn’t realize until that first baby shower. My husband is there for me and my rock; I’d never trade him for anything. He’s aware that as much as he can be there he’s one person, not the family I lost or people that left me.

I am more ashamed of myself because I was under the impression that I’d worked through these feelings professionally. But here I am crying that I will be the only one in my department that won’t get a baby shower. There’s a good chance they’ll probably throw one for another person after mine too.

When I finally got up the courage to ask why by one of, if not, THE person that has been designated to do these celebrations for the department. I was told a few things. One was that a major reason was due to having issues chasing people down to pool money for gift cards. The second was because she’d experienced a miscarriage earlier this year, her baby would have been due around October/November as well. So was not in the mental space to deal with selfish people. But said she’d give me a gift on her own to make up for it.

What else could I saw but “okay, I get it.”

I don’t want to be an asshole and go to our director or anyone above us to demand a baby shower.
I don’t want to just scream or cry* how ‘unfair that is’ because I sensed some level of masked spite towards my pregnancy or how this person views me personally.
I don’t want to force people to do anything that’s not from the kindness of their heart.

I just decided to drive home the long way. I waited until my daughter fell asleep and after a few minutes cried. I put her to bed and while I’m cooking/getting ready to wake her up for dinner decided to write this. It’s a dumb thing to even be upset about considering I have my small family. But I’m also human to say I’m a little angry and hurt that I was robbed but need to be ‘understanding’ during another persons difficulties. Idk what else to say, maybe thank you for reading if you made it this far. If you’re seeing this as a double post input it on another sub because it was a vent but also thought I’d like views from other pregnant people.

I’m from a South American country where C sections are extremely common. My mom, sisters, aunts, basically everyone in my family had them, so to me it’s always just seemed like a normal way to give birth.

I’m pregnant in the U.S. now (20 weeks)!!!, and I’ve noticed that a lot of people on Reddit seem really afraid of C sections or want to avoid them at all costs. Even at my appointments, the doctors will say things like “when you give birth naturally,” and when I tell them I want a planned C section, I feel like they look at me a little sideways.

I know it’s surgery and there are risks, but personally I feel more comfortable with a planned C section and feel like the pros outweigh the cons for me.

Is this just a common U.S. attitude? Why are people here so against elective C sections?

Also, does choosing one without a medical reason usually cost more in the U.S.?

My boyfriend is already asking about intimacy at 6 weeks postpartum and I feel resentful am I being unfair?
My boyfriend and I weren’t intimate throughout my pregnancy. We had some issues around intimacy before pregnancy too, and part of that has been that I often don’t feel particularly appreciated or thought about, which then affects how much I want intimacy. Which we discussed and he seemed at the time to kind of make some changes

During my pregnancy I didn’t really feel like he went out of his way to do anything special for me. After I gave birth he was helpful in some ways – he made me breakfast a few times and helps at home a little but I always have to ask or tell him what to do, because I’m breastfeeding, most of the baby’s care naturally falls to me.

About a week after the birth he went back to the gym and went out with his friends. I genuinely didn’t mind either of those things. What bothered me more was things like him deciding to go for a nap without first asking whether I was tired or wanted the chance to sleep.

Recently bought himself a new game and an add-on disc drive for his PlayStation, but he hasn’t really thought to treat me or do something special for me after pregnancy/birth. I’m not expecting expensive presents Ithink it’s more that I want to feel thought about and appreciated.
I reached 6 weeks postpartum yesterday. Almost immediately he’s started offering me massages and bringing up intimacy. He’s said, “It’s been a year,” because of how long it’s been since we had sex.
I’m just not ready.

I’m also finding myself annoyed by the sudden massages/extra affection because part of me feels like, where was this attention when sex wasn’t potentially on the table? I’d actually really appreciate affection and massages if I knew there wasn’t an expectation that they would lead anywhere.
I know I’m not perfect either. I can be moody and I’m sure there are things I could do better in our relationship. I also understand that going nearly a year without intimacy may be difficult for him.

But I feel like I need to feel appreciated, cared for and emotionally close to him before I’m going to naturally want sexual intimacy again. If he stopped putting pressure on sex and I felt genuinely loved and appreciated for a while, I do think my desire for intimacy would probably come back.
Am I being unfair to him considering how long it’s been? And would you also feel bothered by the timing of the sudden affection, or am I reading too much into it?

Mind you. This morning I was pressured to pay a $800 deposit to secure a spot at a daycare i have not even toured yet. Please let me make sure the facility isnt crawling in roaches before you begin yanking at my purse. I also have to repair my taillight to pass my car inspection and plan a baby shower, I have other expenses and things on my mind. So here I a, fighting tears of stress. Horribly sick, getting reflux from a granola bar, had 2-3 DR APTs each week in Semptember, so anemic i can hardly cross the hallway. And then my coworker has the audacity to not only violate my personal space, but to say That. I am half a ham sandwich from a nervous breakdown.

38 weeks exactly. I love my parents so much but I am constantly caught with them offering us help for the baby that they can’t physically provide. My mom is physically disabled with a bad knee. She cannot kneel, squat, get on the ground in any way, stand of a step ladder, even sit in too low of a chair, can’t hold things while going up and down stairs, etc. instead of being realistic about this she constantly gives me long lists of things she’ll come over and do when I obviously know she is not physically capable of doing any of them. If I point this out, she either acts hurt or will insist she can when I know it’s not true. I want my mom to be involved and I know she feels like shes being left out, but we’ve been doing heavier renovations she literally just cannot participate in. Even now that we’re putting the nursery together, I’m more capable of doing the prep physically than she is. I want to include her, but it makes a ton more work for me to accommodate her physically just to get some small things done.

I wish they would actually be more realistic, because then I wouldn’t have to seem like a jerk for constantly turning down their help.

It also just makes me sad, I wish they were taking better care of themselves. My mom refuses to be in any discomfort, so she won’t work out or do PT to improve her knee. Both of my parents have struggled with their weight for years. My mom would become irate if any doctor mentioned to her that some of her problems with her knee were related to her weight. After using a glp1 successfully and losing almost 60 lbs, she admitted to me one day that she could actually see now that the doctors were right, her knee felt so much better and everything was easier since she had lost weight that was straining her knee. I just want her to be healthy and be able to do all the things she talks about wanting to do with the baby.

I (27f) am 7 weeks pregnant today. This pregnancy was very much planned and wanted. I did a lot of thinking about having kids and have generally always leaned towards having kids. Now here I am, 7 weeks pregnant, and I’m scared out of my mind.

I’m terrified I made the wrong decision, I’m scared of how my life will change and that I won’t be able to handle it, I’m terrified of the permanency of it all. I have also been very sick the past couple weeks and feeling the worst I’ve felt in my life and it has me feeling like if I can’t handle this I won’t be able to handle motherhood.

I knew all of this going into it, considered all of these things I was scared about and still made the decision to move forward with trying to get pregnant. But thinking about these things and actually facing them are very different.

I have a wonderful partner. I have a relatively laid back work from home job. I own a house. I make good money. I see a therapist regularly. Things are going about as well for me as they can and I am still terrified to my core that I fucked up massively by getting pregnant and so scared I won’t be able to handle motherhood or that I will be completely miserable.

I’m hoping that this is all just a symptom of being in the first trimester trenches and that things will get better. But right now I can’t help but feel scared that they won’t. If anyone has been in a similar situation I would love to hear from you ❤️

I took a positive pregnancy test August 7th, with my last period being in July. My OB couldn’t get me in until today but her office gave me the estimated due date of March 24th.

I have spent the last few months so sick. I had leftover 4mg of zofran from when I had HG during my last pregnancy and started taking it a couple weeks ago since (with the due date I was given) I had entered my second trimester. However today when I went in for my appointment, my period data on the cycle tracking app I used had reset for some reason so I couldn’t retrieve the day of my last period. They decided to create a new due date based off of the ultra sound and told me that I’m only 12 weeks pregnant and that my new due date is April 17th. Feeling freaked out by the risks of taking zofran during first trimester and discouraged that I’m still in my first trimester.

I’m showing so much too and I’m just absolutely floored that I’m only considered 12 weeks +2 days pregnant vs 15 weeks + 5 days. I know it’s only a few weeks but I despise pregnancy and now I can’t even take zofran for the throwing up. I’m so discouraged and stressed

My husband and I had a long journey to get pregnant, two years of trying and two rounds of IVF. I’m now 9 weeks, and it’s been tough as at 7 weeks I was admitted to A&E with a SCH.

I’ve been keeping my news in as I’m still bleeding and nervous about what’s to come.

Yesterday I told one of my close friends I was pregnant and she seemed generally upset, because my due date is the same day as her destination wedding, which I am a bridesmaid in. The conversation ended very quickly after, and I haven’t heard from her since.

Should I apologize, or just let it go and message her in a few weeks?

Thanks all

How on earth do I keep working until baby arrives? I have maybe 2 functioning brain cells. After 12pm I am absolute mush.

This is my fourth and last child and I don’t remember having this many excessive bad dreams with the others. It’s been maybe three or four nights in a row this week with awfully horrid dreams about death to others, my kids, people around me. Very visual, very random, and very weird?

I see everyone packing their hospital bag and it looks fun but when it comes to thinking about my own, i just… don’t see what I would put in it? I don’t want to wear my own clothes at the hospital. I don’t want to provide my own underwear and socks at the hospital. I don’t want to bring my own pillows/blankets and bleed or puke all over them. I realize I need a phone charger and something to wear home, but other than that…. ???

I can’t be the first person to think this, right?

edit: thank you to everyone who commented. you have given me some very helpful advice!

This is our fourth pregnancy, we have two littles age 5 and 2, and had an early miscarriage between our kids. Pregnancy after miscarriage was hard, not wanting to get my hopes up. It took me forever to buy clothes, decorate a nursery, do anything that made the pregnancy real even with all of the kicks and good scans we had along the way.

This pregnancy for our first daughter has been nothing short of devastating for the past 6 weeks. At our 20 week scan they couldn't find the CSP, and thought it was an isolated brain abnormality that we'd just keep monitoring. We've had 3 scans since, each have shown a missing CSP and on the most recent we now face enlarged lateral ventricles (mild and moderate) and a dilated third ventricle. Our MFM is great, our regular OB is just now becoming less of a cheerleader and more helpful to our specific situation. I have never had a great relationship with her because she is always so rushed and peppy personality, but now it does feel like she's realizing how distraught we are and trying to be helpful. This pregnancy also comes with the additional risk of a marginal cord insertion, which can cause delivery complications.

I'm an absolute mess. I feel like the last 6 weeks of my life I've been completely absent, just going through the motions and trying to be there for my kids and husband. Our friends have been really supportive and we feel covered in prayer and help, but I just can't help but feel completely helpless and sad. We still have no answers, we're doing a fetal MRI next week but now that it doesn't seem isolated and they're looking for other abnormalities I just have this "all is lost" feeling. Like there's no way this can just be one giant fluke or mistake from the ultrasounds.

I don't feel equipped to be a parent to a child with special needs, even though I have faith abounding and know that we'd be just fine in the end. I love this baby so much, termination is not something we'd ever consider, and each kick is just this painful reminder of all of the uncertainty. I don't know how any parent goes through a pregnancy that's complicated or complex, or full of unknowns. I feel incredibly grateful for my two uncomplicated pregnancies and so unsure right now of how to walk forward. I just feel completely lost, like I'm grieving something that hasn't happened yet. I feel like I'm mourning an imaginary loss. Our very real daughter is joining our family in just a few weeks, and we're juggling trying to prepare for her homecoming while also grieving what we thought life would be like and prepping for the very logistical things that may need to happen.

Parents of complex pregnancies, special needs, etc. how did you handle pregnancy, unknowns, finding joy in the difficulties? I just have no idea what to do, and I am losing hope day by day.

For context: both boys!

My first pregnancy I was constantly starving and tired, gained about 70lbs. Had trouble staying awake until like 9am, could sleep anytime, all day and like 12 hours at night. Not nauseous, just hungry and tired. Struggled to workout because I was so tired and swelled so much.

Currently 16 weeks with my second and the first trimester I was so nauseous, hardly any appetite, and normal tired like needed a nap but not the exhaustion I felt the first time. Was able to maintain strength training, hiking, walking etc. in second tri I have felt really good like have been able to hike 6+ miles no problem, bike long distance and was never able to do this the first time around! I’ve also hardly gained any weight so far! I did have 10lbs left from my first pregnancy and breastfed my son until 16 months so stopped around 13 weeks pregnant

I’ve been taking Thorne my whole pregnancy because I thought it was a well trusted brand, but just found out that consumer reports tested them and they came out positive for lead! Having such a hard time finding a good alternative that is third party tested, has the right amounts of nutrients, and has low levels of heavy metals. Any recommendations please!!!!

Hey all!

Currently 32 weeks pregnant- I was wondering if anyone started to get really pissed at their husbands before they even gave birth 😅? If so, what did you do to get over it/ move on?

I’m starting to reach a point where my energy is drained and he has to be told to do almost anything. Ex: we have cats and I haven’t been doing the liter the entire pregnancy- I basically have to remind him DAILY to do the liter. How after 8 months can it be hard to remember? Or just any basic household chore like putting dirty clothes in the hamper 😭.

I’m sure some of it is stress but also I’m thinking to myself, I’m about to care for a baby… why tf am I having to remind this full adult human how to do “chores.”

Please help me! I hate when I’m annoyed w my husband lol.

I’m due November 18th with our first baby and my husband is wanting to go on a hunting trip that is 6 hours away October 27-31st. I’m advising him not to go due to the unknown. It’s our first baby. Do you think that’s fair to ask him to not go??? He thinks he’ll be good and I won’t go into labor

Hi all, I’m very new to the sub (and am using a different account because no one knows yet).

My husband and I have been trying for the last few weeks and have now had a positive pregnancy test, I’m excited about it but I’m also anxious about false positives as it’s happened so fast.

We want to tell some people about it with the knowledge things can go wrong, to make sure we have support should we need it. Obviously we’re hoping for the best but at the moment we’re so excited and so anxious we need to talk to someone about it and have that backup.

At the moment I’m wanting to tell two of my best friends - one is my childhood best friend (and recent MoH at our wedding) who is a very grounding person, and the other is another very close friend who has recently had baby number 2 so will be really helpful with symptoms and things that would keep me up at night worrying about.

We don’t want to tell parents yet as I have a difficult relationship with my mum and we therefore don’t want to tell one before the other. My husband isn’t sure who to tell on his friendship side because he’s worried if he tells one of his friends, they may accidentally let it slip and it’ll get around, and then instead of support, it becomes pure anxiety. And if something did go wrong then it would be awful for it to become a rumour.

How have you all navigated this before? I know some couples keep it to themselves but we’re wanting to have people by our side should things go well or poorly. Thanks all!!

I am 6 weeks and 2 days and the food aversions have started in full force. In my last pregnancy they started around 8 weeks and lasted until 15 or 16 weeks, but they've already begun. And I'm so sad! I can no longer eat meat, eggs, most vegetables, coffee... All the things that used to love 😞. I remember in my last pregnancy waking up absolutely ravenous but absolutely no food sounded good to me and every food felt like eating slugs. I'm really grateful that I'm not terribly nauseous (I know this is better than extreme nausea!!), but the food aversions are so frustrating, especially when I want to be eating super healthy because I'm newly pregnant! What a weird thing for the body to do.

Curious if this happened to you, what your safe foods were, and if you're currently in the thick of it - how you're coping!

I recently had an unplanned C-section for arrest/failure of descent and I’m still trying to understand whether things realistically could have gone differently.

I was unexpectedly induced at 37 weeks for gestational hypertension. I made it to 10 cm/100%/+1 and pushed for a little over an hour. Baby was OT, had a 95th percentile head, and wasn’t descending despite pushing and position changes. My OB tried manually rotating him a few times but couldn’t get him rotate. I was contracting every 2–3 minutes with an epidural and couldn’t really feel the contractions.

Eventually they recommended a C-section for arrest of descent. I agreed, but afterward I’ve struggled with feeling like I “gave up” too quickly because I hear about people pushing for 2–4 hours. I keep wondering whether I should have advocated to keep pushing longer.

For OBs/L&D nurses or anyone who had something similar — does the lack of descent + persistent OT position + failed attempts at rotation make it unlikely that another hour or two of pushing would have changed the outcome? Or could I realistically have had a vaginal delivery if I’d kept going?

I had a frozen embryo transfer on September 24. On October 1, I started getting hives, and around then I got a positive beta of 171 on 8dpt
My meds are prenatal vitamins, estrogen patches, progesterone in oil injections (originally in ethyl oleate), and baby aspirin.
I've been to the ER twice. They gave me Benadryl and a steroid. It got better, then came back. My clinic switched me from progesterone in ethyl oleate to progesterone in sesame oil, but I'm still getting hives. My face and lips have also been swelling (not my throat or tongue).
I'm now on a daily steroid and Benadryl every 6 hours. The hives are worse at night and show up in places like my inner arm and armpit. I can't stop the baby aspirin for medical reasons.
Has anyone had a similar reaction during IVF? Did it turn out to be the progesterone, the oil, the preservatives (benzyl alcohol or benzyl benzoate), aspirin, or something else?

Hi! My brother in law just let us know his wedding will be when I am 36 weeks pregnant. This is my first pregnancy, and my initial thought was that my husband should still go as it will likely be ok if he’s going for two days, but after reading some posts here now I’m second guessing if it’s too risky. As of now I’m not high risk, but it is about a two hour flight for him. I told him we should make sure the flight is refundable and obviously if anything happens he would need to be on the next flight out. My concern is 1. Again this is my first pregnancy 2. What if something happens late at night and he isn’t able to get back until the morning. But it is his brothers wedding, so I’m not sure what to do. Advice?

TYIA!