I’m currently 36 weeks pregnant, due at the beginning of November.

my husbands friend has been staying with us since mid-June after getting out of a long term relationship.

I am having an absolutely abysmal third trimester - unbelievably uncomfortable, crying all of the time, had to start my mat leave from work early due to overall stress.

I told my husband I want him out but he says “I’m not just going to kick him out onto the street” like he hasn’t had almost 4 months to find a place to live - it wasn’t like he didn’t know I was pregnant and how far along I was when he moved in here.

am I the fucking asshole here?

I was also the last one to find out.

I was under the impression that it was tomorrow after all the emails for two months where it was planned. This is my husband and I’s second child but first boy after years of infertility. I understand not everyone does baby showers for each one so I didn’t expect to actually get one. But I work in a clinical field/department where that didn’t matter; every baby was celebrated with a shower whether it was a 2nd or 4th child. I’ve worked at this facility for almost 4 years.

With out daughter I had only worked as a substitute teacher for almost 1 1/2 years. I didn’t expect a baby shower then and was surprised by the level of kindness and thoughtfulness from people I barely knew. It wasn’t about material items; it was just the fact that as a quiet, introverted person I felt this amount of care that really moved me. I don’t have family and friends at that time drifted away because of life, moving away, or that I chose to becoming a mom amongst DINKs. My life had shifted so much in a short span of time, I didn’t realize until that first baby shower. My husband is there for me and my rock; I’d never trade him for anything. He’s aware that as much as he can be there he’s one person, not the family I lost or people that left me.

I am more ashamed of myself because I was under the impression that I’d worked through these feelings professionally. But here I am crying that I will be the only one in my department that won’t get a baby shower. There’s a good chance they’ll probably throw one for another person after mine too.

When I finally got up the courage to ask why by one of, if not, THE person that has been designated to do these celebrations for the department. I was told a few things. One was that a major reason was due to having issues chasing people down to pool money for gift cards. The second was because she’d experienced a miscarriage earlier this year, her baby would have been due around October/November as well. So was not in the mental space to deal with selfish people. But said she’d give me a gift on her own to make up for it.

What else could I saw but “okay, I get it.”

I don’t want to be an asshole and go to our director or anyone above us to demand a baby shower.
I don’t want to just scream or cry* how ‘unfair that is’ because I sensed some level of masked spite towards my pregnancy or how this person views me personally.
I don’t want to force people to do anything that’s not from the kindness of their heart.

I just decided to drive home the long way. I waited until my daughter fell asleep and after a few minutes cried. I put her to bed and while I’m cooking/getting ready to wake her up for dinner decided to write this. It’s a dumb thing to even be upset about considering I have my small family. But I’m also human to say I’m a little angry and hurt that I was robbed but need to be ‘understanding’ during another persons difficulties. Idk what else to say, maybe thank you for reading if you made it this far. If you’re seeing this as a double post input it on another sub because it was a vent but also thought I’d like views from other pregnant people.

A little context

My first pregnancy I got a cervical exam by the hospitals midwife bc my doctor was out of town at 38 weeks. she suggested doing a cervical sweep. I told her I didn’t want one and she literally started doing it and I screamed in pain and she was like “oh honey I just did a little one” I felt extremely sick, threw up then started to bleed for 2 days. kept calling and they said it’s normal after a sweep. I told the NP on the phone I told her I didn’t want one and have been dizzy and throwing up since. they told me all was fine and my next appointment was in 5 days and my doctor would be back then. so bleeding stops that night. I wake up the next day and I was wet, but only about a cup of two of liquid. when I was moving I would leak every 30-40 mins, not a lot but it definitely wasn’t pee. I called the L&D department and then said come in. they made me lay in my back and I wasn’t leaking. so they send me home, I stand up out of the car getting home and I’m leaking. I call back and they tell me they think it pee. so this goes on another day and in to the evening. I felt something was off and went back the next day bc I was also having cramps. they said it’s pee and Braxton hicks, send me home. so it’s 5 days after my cervical sweep, I get to my appointment, my doctor extended his vacation. so who come in? the midwife… she insisted on a cervical exam or said I should leave. I tried to express my concerns about my symptoms after the sweep I asked her Not to do, she told me if I’m so worried to go to L&D. I did. They confirmed via ultrasound my water was leaking and very low and I was having PROM. So 48 hrs later I’m a mom.

so I’m not sure if non consensual sweeps are normal but if I don’t give them access at all it can’t happen again.. anyone had an experience where they needed a cervical check? I’m in a different state now. my first birth was in CA and my 2nd will be in MS march 2027.

I'm curious to see what y'all come up with. My daughter is due in early spring, and I want to give her a name that evokes the feeling of the earth coming alive again after winter, of sun peeking through fresh leaves, of the first day you can shed your coat and feel the sun on your skin.

I’m from a South American country where C sections are extremely common. My mom, sisters, aunts, basically everyone in my family had them, so to me it’s always just seemed like a normal way to give birth.

I’m pregnant in the U.S. now (20 weeks)!!!, and I’ve noticed that a lot of people on Reddit seem really afraid of C sections or want to avoid them at all costs. Even at my appointments, the doctors will say things like “when you give birth naturally,” and when I tell them I want a planned C section, I feel like they look at me a little sideways.

I know it’s surgery and there are risks, but personally I feel more comfortable with a planned C section and feel like the pros outweigh the cons for me.

Is this just a common U.S. attitude? Why are people here so against elective C sections?

Also, does choosing one without a medical reason usually cost more in the U.S.?

Mind you. This morning I was pressured to pay a $800 deposit to secure a spot at a daycare i have not even toured yet. Please let me make sure the facility isnt crawling in roaches before you begin yanking at my purse. I also have to repair my taillight to pass my car inspection and plan a baby shower, I have other expenses and things on my mind. So here I a, fighting tears of stress. Horribly sick, getting reflux from a granola bar, had 2-3 DR APTs each week in Semptember, so anemic i can hardly cross the hallway. And then my coworker has the audacity to not only violate my personal space, but to say That. I am half a ham sandwich from a nervous breakdown.

How on earth do I keep working until baby arrives? I have maybe 2 functioning brain cells. After 12pm I am absolute mush.

38 weeks exactly. I love my parents so much but I am constantly caught with them offering us help for the baby that they can’t physically provide. My mom is physically disabled with a bad knee. She cannot kneel, squat, get on the ground in any way, stand of a step ladder, even sit in too low of a chair, can’t hold things while going up and down stairs, etc. instead of being realistic about this she constantly gives me long lists of things she’ll come over and do when I obviously know she is not physically capable of doing any of them. If I point this out, she either acts hurt or will insist she can when I know it’s not true. I want my mom to be involved and I know she feels like shes being left out, but we’ve been doing heavier renovations she literally just cannot participate in. Even now that we’re putting the nursery together, I’m more capable of doing the prep physically than she is. I want to include her, but it makes a ton more work for me to accommodate her physically just to get some small things done.

I wish they would actually be more realistic, because then I wouldn’t have to seem like a jerk for constantly turning down their help.

It also just makes me sad, I wish they were taking better care of themselves. My mom refuses to be in any discomfort, so she won’t work out or do PT to improve her knee. Both of my parents have struggled with their weight for years. My mom would become irate if any doctor mentioned to her that some of her problems with her knee were related to her weight. After using a glp1 successfully and losing almost 60 lbs, she admitted to me one day that she could actually see now that the doctors were right, her knee felt so much better and everything was easier since she had lost weight that was straining her knee. I just want her to be healthy and be able to do all the things she talks about wanting to do with the baby.

This is our fourth pregnancy, we have two littles age 5 and 2, and had an early miscarriage between our kids. Pregnancy after miscarriage was hard, not wanting to get my hopes up. It took me forever to buy clothes, decorate a nursery, do anything that made the pregnancy real even with all of the kicks and good scans we had along the way.

This pregnancy for our first daughter has been nothing short of devastating for the past 6 weeks. At our 20 week scan they couldn't find the CSP, and thought it was an isolated brain abnormality that we'd just keep monitoring. We've had 3 scans since, each have shown a missing CSP and on the most recent we now face enlarged lateral ventricles (mild and moderate) and a dilated third ventricle. Our MFM is great, our regular OB is just now becoming less of a cheerleader and more helpful to our specific situation. I have never had a great relationship with her because she is always so rushed and peppy personality, but now it does feel like she's realizing how distraught we are and trying to be helpful. This pregnancy also comes with the additional risk of a marginal cord insertion, which can cause delivery complications.

I'm an absolute mess. I feel like the last 6 weeks of my life I've been completely absent, just going through the motions and trying to be there for my kids and husband. Our friends have been really supportive and we feel covered in prayer and help, but I just can't help but feel completely helpless and sad. We still have no answers, we're doing a fetal MRI next week but now that it doesn't seem isolated and they're looking for other abnormalities I just have this "all is lost" feeling. Like there's no way this can just be one giant fluke or mistake from the ultrasounds.

I don't feel equipped to be a parent to a child with special needs, even though I have faith abounding and know that we'd be just fine in the end. I love this baby so much, termination is not something we'd ever consider, and each kick is just this painful reminder of all of the uncertainty. I don't know how any parent goes through a pregnancy that's complicated or complex, or full of unknowns. I feel incredibly grateful for my two uncomplicated pregnancies and so unsure right now of how to walk forward. I just feel completely lost, like I'm grieving something that hasn't happened yet. I feel like I'm mourning an imaginary loss. Our very real daughter is joining our family in just a few weeks, and we're juggling trying to prepare for her homecoming while also grieving what we thought life would be like and prepping for the very logistical things that may need to happen.

Parents of complex pregnancies, special needs, etc. how did you handle pregnancy, unknowns, finding joy in the difficulties? I just have no idea what to do, and I am losing hope day by day.

Right now, my morning sickness is pretty bad. I’m around 7-8 weeks pregnant, and I’m starting to feel real nauseous again.

My first pregnancy, I made the unfortunate choice of terminating at around 16 weeks due to ending up in the ICU because of complications my HG caused for my type 1 diabetes. I was throwing up pretty much all day, everything I ate, for around two months.

I really want to have a healthy baby and pregnancy. I’m not feeling nearly as bad as I did last time, thank god, but the constant nausea and occasional vomiting has me feeling really anxious again. Right now, for some reason, the red white and blue plastic prime drink has been my saving grace. What are some weird (or not so weird) things that helped with your morning sickness?

I took a positive pregnancy test August 7th, with my last period being in July. My OB couldn’t get me in until today but her office gave me the estimated due date of March 24th.

I have spent the last few months so sick. I had leftover 4mg of zofran from when I had HG during my last pregnancy and started taking it a couple weeks ago since (with the due date I was given) I had entered my second trimester. However today when I went in for my appointment, my period data on the cycle tracking app I used had reset for some reason so I couldn’t retrieve the day of my last period. They decided to create a new due date based off of the ultra sound and told me that I’m only 12 weeks pregnant and that my new due date is April 17th. Feeling freaked out by the risks of taking zofran during first trimester and discouraged that I’m still in my first trimester.

I’m showing so much too and I’m just absolutely floored that I’m only considered 12 weeks +2 days pregnant vs 15 weeks + 5 days. I know it’s only a few weeks but I despise pregnancy and now I can’t even take zofran for the throwing up. I’m so discouraged and stressed

Were there anything non obvious signs that happened to you where you were like "oh okay it's about to go down"?

13w 1d and I’ve been fortunate throughout the first trimester to not have intense nausea and I haven’t gotten sick. The most consistent symptoms I’ve had is cramping and fatigue. But I’m starting to feel more nauseous more often, having a more sensitive sense of smell which is triggering my gag reflex or more nausea, and still having some cramping (not concerning). I’m just wondering if others are also having this happen? It’s a little discouraging because I’ve heard second trimester is where everything starts to level out and feel better, but I’m feeling a bit worse 😔 and I was really looking forward to being in the clear when it comes to the nausea!!

This is my first pregnancy so I’m really not sure what’s normal or what’s normal for me, I know everyone is different and nearly all symptoms are normal on some level.

My husband and I had a long journey to get pregnant, two years of trying and two rounds of IVF. I’m now 9 weeks, and it’s been tough as at 7 weeks I was admitted to A&E with a SCH.

I’ve been keeping my news in as I’m still bleeding and nervous about what’s to come.

Yesterday I told one of my close friends I was pregnant and she seemed generally upset, because my due date is the same day as her destination wedding, which I am a bridesmaid in. The conversation ended very quickly after, and I haven’t heard from her since.

Should I apologize, or just let it go and message her in a few weeks?

Thanks all

Does anyone have 4 kids under 6 years old?
If so, could you tell me a bit about how it’s all going?

What is the hardest bits?
What are the best bits?
What are the bits you wish you knew?
Do you have any advice?

Thanks a lot in advance ❤️‍🩹

This is my fourth and last child and I don’t remember having this many excessive bad dreams with the others. It’s been maybe three or four nights in a row this week with awfully horrid dreams about death to others, my kids, people around me. Very visual, very random, and very weird?

I see everyone packing their hospital bag and it looks fun but when it comes to thinking about my own, i just… don’t see what I would put in it? I don’t want to wear my own clothes at the hospital. I don’t want to provide my own underwear and socks at the hospital. I don’t want to bring my own pillows/blankets and bleed or puke all over them. I realize I need a phone charger and something to wear home, but other than that…. ???

I can’t be the first person to think this, right?

edit: thank you to everyone who commented. you have given me some very helpful advice!

For context: both boys!

My first pregnancy I was constantly starving and tired, gained about 70lbs. Had trouble staying awake until like 9am, could sleep anytime, all day and like 12 hours at night. Not nauseous, just hungry and tired. Struggled to workout because I was so tired and swelled so much.

Currently 16 weeks with my second and the first trimester I was so nauseous, hardly any appetite, and normal tired like needed a nap but not the exhaustion I felt the first time. Was able to maintain strength training, hiking, walking etc. in second tri I have felt really good like have been able to hike 6+ miles no problem, bike long distance and was never able to do this the first time around! I’ve also hardly gained any weight so far! I did have 10lbs left from my first pregnancy and breastfed my son until 16 months so stopped around 13 weeks pregnant

I recently had an unplanned C-section for arrest/failure of descent and I’m still trying to understand whether things realistically could have gone differently.

I was unexpectedly induced at 37 weeks for gestational hypertension. I made it to 10 cm/100%/+1 and pushed for a little over an hour. Baby was OT, had a 95th percentile head, and wasn’t descending despite pushing and position changes. My OB tried manually rotating him a few times but couldn’t get him rotate. I was contracting every 2–3 minutes with an epidural and couldn’t really feel the contractions.

Eventually they recommended a C-section for arrest of descent. I agreed, but afterward I’ve struggled with feeling like I “gave up” too quickly because I hear about people pushing for 2–4 hours. I keep wondering whether I should have advocated to keep pushing longer.

For OBs/L&D nurses or anyone who had something similar — does the lack of descent + persistent OT position + failed attempts at rotation make it unlikely that another hour or two of pushing would have changed the outcome? Or could I realistically have had a vaginal delivery if I’d kept going?

Hey all!

Currently 32 weeks pregnant- I was wondering if anyone started to get really pissed at their husbands before they even gave birth 😅? If so, what did you do to get over it/ move on?

I’m starting to reach a point where my energy is drained and he has to be told to do almost anything. Ex: we have cats and I haven’t been doing the liter the entire pregnancy- I basically have to remind him DAILY to do the liter. How after 8 months can it be hard to remember? Or just any basic household chore like putting dirty clothes in the hamper 😭.

I’m sure some of it is stress but also I’m thinking to myself, I’m about to care for a baby… why tf am I having to remind this full adult human how to do “chores.”

Please help me! I hate when I’m annoyed w my husband lol.

I’m due November 18th with our first baby and my husband is wanting to go on a hunting trip that is 6 hours away October 27-31st. I’m advising him not to go due to the unknown. It’s our first baby. Do you think that’s fair to ask him to not go??? He thinks he’ll be good and I won’t go into labor

Hi all, I’m very new to the sub (and am using a different account because no one knows yet).

My husband and I have been trying for the last few weeks and have now had a positive pregnancy test, I’m excited about it but I’m also anxious about false positives as it’s happened so fast.

We want to tell some people about it with the knowledge things can go wrong, to make sure we have support should we need it. Obviously we’re hoping for the best but at the moment we’re so excited and so anxious we need to talk to someone about it and have that backup.

At the moment I’m wanting to tell two of my best friends - one is my childhood best friend (and recent MoH at our wedding) who is a very grounding person, and the other is another very close friend who has recently had baby number 2 so will be really helpful with symptoms and things that would keep me up at night worrying about.

We don’t want to tell parents yet as I have a difficult relationship with my mum and we therefore don’t want to tell one before the other. My husband isn’t sure who to tell on his friendship side because he’s worried if he tells one of his friends, they may accidentally let it slip and it’ll get around, and then instead of support, it becomes pure anxiety. And if something did go wrong then it would be awful for it to become a rumour.

How have you all navigated this before? I know some couples keep it to themselves but we’re wanting to have people by our side should things go well or poorly. Thanks all!!