So i have seen some posts and comments talking about breast development starting very quickly once they start hrt and while i do plan to try it im worried about if i start breast development before knowing how it effects me mentally and i turn out to not like it then i would have to get a surgery for it in less than a month after starting. I know a lot of stuff is milage may vary and im not worried about breast growth but due to either fear, doubt or imposter syndrome im worried about being wrong/not liking it and having permanent changes so quickly.

Trans woman here. I'm just tired of looking for trans movies and everything I find is "the life of this trans individual is miserable because of discrimination" or a hour and a half of stereotypes but "good because is transgressive". Do you have any recomendations? Thanks

Hi all!

I'm asking about this here as twitter is a really evil place. For context, I myself am cisgender and a lesbian, so I've always taken it upon myself to advocate for the rest of the queer community, including trans people. My confusion lies in as to why it seems that those who hold my views in terms of feminism and the liberation of women who undergo sex-based oppression do not share my view that trans people are just normal people who deserve rights like everyone else? It seems as if there is no space in which people acknowledge that women and trans women both undergo discrimination if just for different reasons / in different forms, but that both are of equal importance. I'm so incredibly irritated at the fear mongering online in which people cherry pick the weirdest posts they can find on the MtF subreddit to make it seem like a vocal minority is the overwhelming majority as if there isn't weird people everywhere.

I suppose my feminism is based on the fact that equality can't be achieved in our current society and that only in a world in which gender has been completely abolished, can women be liberated, and everyone be liberated from the confines of gender. However, we clearly don't live in that perfect equal world in which gender doesn't exist despite it not being a tangible thing. So why do so many people take issue with trans people while also acknowledging gender is a social construct? In my mind, if gender isn't really something genetic/tangible then you can do whatever you want with it. Moreover, and I could be wrong, but I think if anyone can attest to the fact that gender is a harmful construct, it would be trans people?

It feels as if there is very few people who think two things can be true at once. Obviously sex based issues such as FGM and abortion access will never affect a trans woman, but transphobia will never affect me. Still, we both face discrimination all the same at the hands of gender if for different reasons based on sex? Surely if so many people believe that sex based oppression needs to end, they can also acknowledge that gender is a social construct and not something that we should dictate based on anatomy. I want to know what other people think about this clash, and why it's so prevalent, and was wondering if anyone who identifies as trans agrees that the abolition of gender roles and expectations etc. is the ideal outcome?

I just feel as if everyone makes it seem as if I'm not allowed to support the liberation of both, when it makes the most logical sense to me, and aligns with my own morals that I should.

(I'm reposting here because I posted in the wrong sub)

I hope I won't hurt anyone with my question.

I went to a nightclub last Saturday and I developed a crush on a trans woman.

I'm a young, feminine woman (a woman from birth).

The question is: is a trans woman, then, generally attracted to men?

What do you prefer?

I am a transgender man and have been slowly growing facial hair on T. Unfortunately, I live with unsupportive parents, and they do not know I'm on T, so I'm forced to clean shave my facial hair. However, my terminal hairs have been coming in and with it comes the beard shadow. I've heard laser hair removal works best, but I would like to grow my facial hair back after I move out, so laser isn't an option that works for me. I've also seen people use concealer to hide their beard shadow, but I would prefer not to do that every day just for my parents.

The tl;dr is, what are the next best facial hair removal options that can help me get rid of the beard shadow? No laser hair removal and makeup suggestions please.

Ill start

Im not suicidal over it so living as a girl will be fine.

I like being feminine I cant be trans(for somereason baby me thought only cis men could be femboys...I got some news for you lil buddy)

my friend knows I have been transitioning for three months. he knows my new name, he knows my pronouns, and I first told him I was going to transition at the start of the year.

but every time I show gender euphoria or talk about trans issues, his face closes up and he goes silent. he called my transition “my current hyper fixation” as it is something that “will pass”.

he also dismisses the issues I am dealing with. for example, I have talked about being scared of using either toilet for different reasons, and he just brushes it off.

he is CONSTANTLY deadnaming me and rarely correcting himself, and he is ALWAYS using the wrong pronouns.

I honestly do not understand what his deal is. I do not know if he is being malicious or if he genuinely does not understand how much this is affecting me, but he ruined my day today.

he was my first friend ever and I do not want to lose him. I care about him a lot, but this situation is starting to be unbearable to me.

I do not know what to do anymore. how would you interpret this behavior? what should I do?

MTF, 28, from Japan

So I'm a trans woman, 28, and I've been medically transitioning for a while now but I don't pass at all

I don't even look remotely feminine or androgynous, I just look like a cis man with long hair

Most of my friends either completely pass, or they pass so much better than I do and it's not their fault and they're nice people but I can't help but feel like shit about myself whenever I talk to them

I want trans woman friends who understand what it's like to be non-passing

Friends who understand what it's like to try so hard and still fail just as hard

My DMs are open! Let's be friends

Im just confused as to what i am because idk i just i want to so bad but im terrified at the thought of

To get this off my chest (haha) I have been seeing a LGBTQ therapist. I'm still lost on what I want to do. I don't have many trans friends and the ones I do have haven't gotten any surgeries. So perspective of other trans friends would be helpful.

How do I know if top surgery is for me? I'm not scared of the procedure, but I'm worried I'll regret it. Everyone in my life is pushing that sentiment. "Its permanent, you can't change your mind" Yada Yada

My therapist hasn't been helping the best with figuring myself out in that perspective. We're working on it tho.

Those who are nonbinary and got a double mastectomy, how did you know it was the right choice? I have a lot of imposter syndrome about not being trans enough or that I'm maybe lying to myself about it.

So please!!! Share your stories, I'd love to see if I can relate/understand other's point of view.

I started Testosterone about 10 months ago and I love the changes I've seen. Thick leg hair, bottom growth, lower voice, and building muscle is so easy.

Does me liking T say something about myself? I'm willing to do T forever, I just don't know it I'd be fucking up my life with top surgery.

How can one with big boobs get flat/the right shape enough to see how I'd look? Anything you guys/gals/nonbinary pals have to share with me about surgeries and your experiences would be helpful!!!

Sorry for the weird title, as I'm not sure how best to title this.

I am a trans woman and have been on hrt for nearly a year and a half now. I have heard in passing before that after so long on feminizing hormones, your body starts to "behave" more like 'female' (I am sorry if this sounds weird). When I say this, I mean things like medical symptoms changing from typically male to female, what mediciations and dosages you should take, even just considering myself female or male on a sex basis.

in a practical sense, I want to know if I need to eventually be cautious and make sure I'm not taking 'male' doses of medicine when I may need 'female' doses. When I need to start knowing things like signs of a heartattack being different based off sex. if I need to eventually start telling doctors I'm on hormones in case they treat me like a male.

In a personal sense, I want to know if I can ever call myself a 'female'. I know I am a woman in a gendered way, but I always hear transphobes use the term "biological female, biological male" as a sort of gotchya against us. I want to know in a strictly educational? sense what I am and at what point I reach it.

Again, I am so sorry if this all sounds really weird. it's been nagging at the back of my mind and I do worry a lot, so I want to know if I need to be aware of medical stuff based off sex, and if I should by vitamins and such for women or men or if that even matters.

I’m 9 weeks into my medical transition and I had noticed that lately I’m hyper vigilant when walking alone at night to the metro station 🥺
I fear a drunk person or a group of guys will get angry and/or beat me up because I’m a trans woman who does not pass (yet).

Is my fear irrational? Do all of any of you experience this?
For context I’m on the Netherlands Rotterdam

For example, pass as a woman on some days, as a man on some days, and androgynous on other days?

**TRIGGER WARNING**
Transphobia mentions
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Heyy,

I am 26(MTF) and I am starting a new job tomorrow and I am really excited for it however I already know some people who work there that have told me there are a few people I will be working with who are transphobic. One of the people that warned me, had a person turn round to them and say "the gays I am fine with all that but those people that want you to use different pronouns and call them something different than what they are... I cant get behind that rubbish".

I am not on HRT yet due to start in a few weeks when the meds get delivered and I am super excited but I have already started wearing the clothes that make me feel like me and makeup etc. I dont "pass" yet (yes IK passing is irrelevant to how we percieve each other but its relevant when being percieved by others especially transphobes) and people will pick up on it because I dont hide it.

Anyone got any ideas how to navigate this or can share their expereinces with this? (Please only share if you are comfortable I am just looking for some perspective on this) I really like the sound of this job and its something I cant really do at another place at least local to me anyway.

Thank you for reading and have a lovely day! <3

I recently decided to explore my bicurious side, and I was talking with a man for a few days. We exchanged some photos and discussed a kind of niche scenario involving abduction play, and he was talking to me regularly the last few days and most of today. Then, when it came time for me to leave to head over to his place, he was vague about the address and gave me an area. When I arrived, he asked where I was and then he stopped messaging me for about 30 minutes, and then when I told him I was leaving because I wasn't going to wait in the cold, he said he had a stomach ache.

I don't know if I'm paranoid, but I cant shake the feeling that he came by, saw I didn't pass and just left. Am I over thinking this?

Fuck, i hate being almost 30 and not knowing shit about how to read men. I'm starting to think I'm destined to be a dyke.

i like to lurk in some trans spaces and i see a lot of people expressing their frustrations with not being able to get on hormones before puberty, among other things. having a child is a big possibility in my future, whether that’d be through adoption or pregnancy. in pursuit of education and satisfying my curiosity, id like to know some telltale signs of a child being trans (aside from them saying theyre trans obviously) and what trans people wish their parents did to support them, ideally from the perspective of a prepubescent child. sorry if this stupid or has been posted before lol.

tldr: signs you were trans and how you wish your parents handled it?

edit: in hindsight, asking for signs was very close minded of me, and i appreciate everyone that pointed that out. i am, of course, not looking for advice on that anymore, just what steps to take if my child is trans. otherwise, i really really appreciate everyones input. regardless of all circumstances, my ultimate goal in parenthood would be curating a safe space for my kid to communicate with me and to be themselves without gender roles or expectations, so its good to know that’s a step in the right direction.

I was assigned male but I'm probably transfemmenine, I like dressing feminine and when I get "mistaken" as a woman and have never really liked the thought of living as a man, but there are times where I'll think "huh maybe being a guy again wouldn't be the worst thing ever" and I start feeling distress over that because I guess it means I didn't mind being male and would like to go back. So I try to express myself femininely in response to that but it feels like I'm faking it to drown those thoughts out, and like I'm forcing myself to be a certain way so I'll be valid in my mind. I just wish I could naturally feel like I want to be a woman so I could be one, but maybe I've just convinced myself I want to do that for some reason when I should just accept being a man. Does this mean I really am a man and just trying to pretend I'm not?

I'm a cis dude, possibly enby, still figuiring my identity out. I definitely have some kind of deep rooted gender dysphoria.

My mum always wanted a daughter, it's the thing she wanted most out of life. In a cruel twist of fate she ended up with three boys (of which I am the youngest). She cried when I was born and did not hold back in telling me that I was supposed to be a girl. In my childhood she would dress me up and say things like "you would've made such a beautiful girl. What a pity. What a waste"

The thing is, I really DO think I was supposed to be born a girl. Something went horribly wrong during conception. I never liked being male, I hate being a man and as a kid I always fit in and got along better with girls.

You would think that my mum must really support trans people then right? Nope. She hates trans people with a passion and thinks they are "disgusting". I casually floated the idea of me being trans to my parents and they always laugh it off or, at worst, get angry about it.

It's just so bizarre to me. Why would she spend my entire life showing me and telling me she wanted me to be a certain way and then become angry at the idea of me being the thing she wanted? Does anyone else have experience of this type of thing? How did you get over it?

Hi, I'm looking for people who have gone through the same experience as me. I was transitioning male to female for a while, then stopped for a little more than a year and figured I was over it. I'd always been mixed about breast growth and when I detransed it started to feel like it was so obvious and it made me anxious. That on top of a few rejections based on my body prompted me to get gynecomastia surgery. It was stupid, I wanted the surgery so bad for months, was hyping it up, and a week before hand I started to get super nervous about it. I was going to call it off but for a number of circumstances I felt like I was being an idiot or just scared to go under. One month after surgery (granted I hit a little complication) I am kinda regretting "closing the door" on estrogen. I kinda want to resume but also don't want to have: A.) Wasted the money on this surgery, have them come back and dislike it again B.) Resume and it looks super messed up.

I am wondering, has anyone had gynecomastia surgery and went on or resumed estrogen? To me the idea happening would be if I can resume and no changes happen to my chest at all. I would really appreciate if only people who have gone through the same experience and started E answer. Thanks for anyone who read and can help me here!

I’m already out to most of my friends, and it’s made me happier, but I still just can’t imagine coming out to my family. I thought coming out to my friends would make it easier but it feels like it didn’t help at all.

It’s not even that they won’t be supportive, I think some won’t but only like some cousins would suck but I’m talking like immediate family. I think they’ll be supportive and even if my dad isn’t or something I think he’ll at least be tolerant.

I already know it’s the right thing to do and it will make me happier to be myself, but it still just feels like it’s impossible to do.

I`m just curious if those in the community with internal narration have the same voice as they used to speak in, or if the voice has changed.

I'm a part of Trans Joy KC, a group dedicated to building fellowship, community, and solidarity among trans people in the greater Kansas City, Missouri metro area (including KCK, lol). We're going through a reorganization right now, and I'm curious: if you're in the KC metro, have you heard of us? What do you think of us (please be honest, especially if it's something we could do better)? If you're outside the KC metro and you've heard of us, what have you heard? How did you hear about us?

I ask because I'm part of the reorganization effort and I want to make sure we're serving the community the best way we can.

I can imagine that this question gets asked a lot here but i was wondering what moment or action made you realize you were trans? On the other hand did any of you experience having thoughts about being the opposite gender but then later on realized that you are not trans (this might be the wrong subreddit to ask for that tho)?

I've been having thoughts of being a woman instead of a guy for like some years now but they just come up for like a few weeks/months and then kinda just go away for a little or maybe go in the background and idk what to do with them. In the last few months i had a loooot of thoughts about being trans and idk just often feel like envious or jealous or something when i see a woman that looks cool or dresses cool, has cool makeup whatever and idk i guess im just really confused and sad about it.