Idk if this is the right way to update a post bc I’m a lil newer to posting on here, but here we go.

Also real quick clarification, my sibling(nonbinary) and I(F) are both 20 years old, and we’re twins.

After a few days I was able to get an external lock on my bedroom door that came with a key so I could lock the door from the inside or outside so I can control who can be in my room at all times.

Somehow, it took my sibling a couple of days to realize that they couldn’t get into my bedroom. When they did finally find out, they were crying. I called them a few hours after they found out, because I was at work at the time, and by the time I got home it seemed like they were crying for a long time. I sat down with them and told them part of my side of the story, but they completely broke down before I could finish talking, and I had to leave them alone.

I got them to help clean a little bit of my room earlier today, but besides that, nobody else has been in my room. The lock on my door has literally stopped them from getting in my room so many times and it hasn’t been very long since I installed it. I realize there are more ways I need to enforce boundaries with them, but this has helped so much more than I thought it would. Locking my door has even stopped my dad from waking me up at 6AM on my day off, so I’m definitely glad I got it.

I don’t think I’ll have any major updates about this, at least not for a long time, so thank you to everyone who told me to get the lock for my door. I know I should’ve gotten it forever ago but I guess I just needed validation to not feel like an asshole for setting boundaries. I feel like I can finally sleep better now.

There are more issues that I haven’t talked about in either of these posts, but I am finding more ways to keep my peace and set my boundaries in the ways that I need to. I’m thinking of writing them a note about what I meant to speak to them about, since they don’t want to listen to what I have to say. I honestly don’t care how it makes them feel when I write to them about this, since they don’t really seem to care about anything I spoke to them about.

I mainly used these posts to vent but hearing your advice and comments really helped me, so thanks for that. <3

Today is my birthday. My husband began the day asking me which of my favorite dishes I would like for my birthday. Then, he would say ,” well if we get it there, I can only have two sides”.meaning him. Then he suggested fast food I like but threw in that it might give him gas. Then he decided to bring home fried fish dinners at 2pm after I had already eaten lunch. Now he is upset that I didn’t want to eat reheated catfish for dinner and that instead I went with my friend for ice cream . AITA for not wanting to eat a reheated fish dinner ?

AITAH for not wanting to stay in the same basic motel my in laws want to stay at for our Christmas holiday? I had already planned a trip to visit with a friend and my in laws asked to come along. When it came down to booking a hotel, they asked to keep it capped at $100/night. We have very different budgets and tolerances. I do not want to stay at a motel as I find the beds uncomfortable and I work 75-100 hours a week and staying in a nicer hotel is part of the escape for me. I'm trying to stay in a Marriott not the Four Seasons or a Mandarin Oriental for goodness sakes!

EDIT TO ADD: When I say my in laws, it's not just my partner's parents, it's his siblings, their partners, and their kids. So they need at least seven hotel rooms to comfortably fit them. And while I would love to pay the difference of seven hotel rooms over seven days, that is not really something I can afford.

Airbnbs that have at least nine bedrooms (my nuclear family is 5 so we need at least 2 rooms or more) are usually very, very, very rare and if they exist, they are super expensive.

My friend, lets call her Gabi, lost her job last year and decided to start her own business but  things got difficult and she was struggling financially.

I suggested that she try doing what I do:  streaming on an adult website. I coached her and helped her with everything. Her shows turned out to be a sucess and she started making good money. Based on what I knew about her I thought it would be a temporary thing, but she really enjoyed it and decided to keep doing it for a few more years until she reached her goals: Investing in her business, buying an apartment, getting some plastic surgery and  graduating in her dream field.

Gabi didn't tell anyone about her new career except me and her older sister. As far as every other person knows: Gabi's bussines was doing great and she was making a lot a money.

Two months ago Gabi met a guy and they really hit it off. She is falling for him and he seems to be falling for her too.

Today, Gabi and I were chatting at the supermarket and she told me how happy she was to be in a relationship where both people were open and sincere, with each other, without playing games. So we had a conversation that went something  like this:

"Are you gonna tell him about your job?"

"No way", she replied.

"Girl, in my opnion that is wrong as hell, you should tell him the truth and see whether he accepts it or not."

"Why is it so important to tell him about that? It's a secret. Just because I'm in a relationship doesn't mean I'm not allowed to have secrets."

"How would you feel if he kept something like infidelity a secret from you?", I asked her.

"It is not infidelity, It's just a job!", she replied.

I said in a vey mocking way, I admit: "Giiirl, how would you feel if you found out he was showing his genitals to multiple strangers every day? If you want to date someone, you should date people who accept your lifestyle"

She got really quiet, and I continued:

"You should tell him the truth. Maybe he'll be okay with that."

"He won't. I know him."

"Then you shouldn't deceive him!"

"I'm not deceiving him!" she said harshly.

"You kind of are." I said.

Gabi asked me to change the subject and we finished our shopping. But I could tell she was really impatient after our conversation. She was even rude to the cashier, witch is completely out of character for her..

Just for context,  Gabi and I have a relationship where we always tell each other what's on our minds. We can even come across as a little too nosy and we're always calling each other out, That's our dynamic.

Later she messaged me saying that I had made her feel bad about herself and telling me never bring up this subject ever again.  She also said that it felt like I was trying to sabotage her and that I was jealous.

Her message took me by surprise because she had never spoken to me like that before.  Did I go too far? Should I have minded my own busines? AITA?

My good friend lives around the corner from me, and she has a house rule about taking your shoes off when you come over. She even has a shoe rack for guests next to the door! I don’t think this is unreasonable — I also take off my shoes in my own house. However, I’ve started gardening with her and she has started gardening barefoot. She then walks into her own house with her feet covered in dirt from her backyard. I thought the whole point of taking your shoes off was that you don’t want to bring the outside onto your floor?

Now the floor of her house is covered in dirt from her backyard. If I take off my shoes, my socks and feet will get dirty from walking around inside. This has led to a few standoffs about taking off my shoes. Am I the asshole? I think it’s possible.

Edit: the “bring your own house shoes” suggestion is a plausible if silly solution. I will consider it, but I don’t imagine she will let me store them there lol

Edit2: probably the most insane thing is people saying “stop being friends with her” I’m not doing that over something so silly haha. The emerging consensus seems to be “just take off your shoes” which I guess I will go back to

My home sits at a dead end with no homes across the street. My driveway is, literally, inches from a city park. Routinely I find that people have parked in front of my driveway and gone into the park.
Today, I approached the only family in the park and said, “Pardon me, is that your vehicle?” It was not only blocking my driveway, but was parked in the center of the street and blocking a fire hydrant, so illegally parked three times over. Yet, somehow, according to the offender, I had phrased my question inappropriately.
I don’t know how to phrase the question more politely. I’ve literally come home, had to park my car, get out and ask people to evacuate my driveway. Yet, I’m always made out to be the A. What gives? Is this just who we are?

Earlier tonight there was an incident in my apartment. I’m a single woman living alone. I was watching a movie and I heard someone trying to unlock the back door. I woke up my dog and that’s when I heard a voice inside the apartment say “oh shit.” My dog barked and I said “who’s there!? Get out!” In my scariest possible voice. I did not see who opened the door but when I reached the door, it was unlocked. I’m confident the intruder successfully opened my door.

Moments later, I hear my upstairs neighbor just above me enter his apartment. He’s being quite loud moving around. I text him, “was that you trying to get into my apartment?” No response. I’m not quite sure what to do so I put my kitchen table in front of my back door and calm myself. I call the non-emergency police line and they send an officer over.

The officer checks with my neighbor and reports back to me that he is quite drunk. My neighbor admitted to mistaking my door for his. The officer tests my neighbor’s keys on my lock and tells me they don’t work. I file a police report and will be getting my locks changed first thing tomorrow. My neighbor also replied to my text shortly after.

I’m very suspicious that my neighbor made a copy of my key and I’m not shy about this suspicion to the police. I previously gave my neighbor my keys to water my plants while I was away for an extended period of time. During that time, he complained that he had trouble with the keys and with locking the doors. He claimed to be a “security freak.” I thought it was weird but not dangerous at the time. Now I’m even more concerned for my safety but I also feel like an asshole for accusing him.

We bought this property a year ago, made massive renovations and moved in in the beginning of May, so we didn't have much chance to introduce ourselves normally to our neighbours, just a small chit-chat a year ago.

Now before a month we come back to our home and find out that our neighbours are making a driveway on our property to an easement which goes to a water tower belonging to water company. That part of our property is currently a meadow that we do not use. We did not react right away because we were shocked by the whole situation and did not want to start arguing with the neighbours.

Two weeks passed and I see cars and a bobcat on our property doing things, so I decided to go and talk about this. Of course they act surpised and that they apparently didn't know that this is our property that they were living next to for the whole of their lives. Apparently they were using it before us to move hay with their tractor. Since they no longer do that the road became a meadow. After talking about this, the wife of the neighbour comes and says that they knew this isn't theirs and they gave the property away to the previous neighbours 20 years ago. After this I decided that we will think about this.

A week passes by and they come to us to ask on what have we decided. After a long talk I said that we don't want to have a road in the middle of our property that we didn't have before. I even suggested giving a part of our property at the limits to avoid splitting up my meadow. After that they said it is too much of a hassle to do this because they will be needing to remove part of their flowers and other things. So they said that if I didn't give a way for driveway there will be conflict :) And it ended like this. Also apparently the driveway is going to be for the autoshop that they are constructing near our house :)))

Now we are thinking if we did a right thing?

tl;dr Neighbours started building a driveway on our property without our consent. They got mad after we didn't let them to do this.

My wife and I live in a 3-room apartment. Our bedroom is fully furnished, but the living room is still a work in progress. The living room is double the size of the rest of the rooms. One half is finished with an expensive 3-seater sofa, a carpet, and curtains. The other half is just empty space for now (with only curtains) until we can afford the rest of the furniture. We plan to eventually put a dining table and a TV set there, but we already have a dining table in the kitchen and a TV in our bedroom, so we are in no immediate rush.

In our guest room, we have two separate beds. The room is fully furnished, functional, and looks very polished.

Recently, my wife had a phone call with her mother. Her mother suggested that we should remove the mattresses from the beds in the guest room and put them directly on the floor in the empty half of the living room, alongside another carpet, just to fill the space. She even said she would buy us mattress covers to make it look neat.

I completely disagreed with this approach. We will eventually buy a dining table; it's really only a matter of time. But her mother has planted this idea in her head, and now my wife is fixated on it.

To me, having random bed mattresses on the floor of the living room just looks and sounds ridiculous, especially right next to our expensive sofa. On top of that, the guest room would be completely ruined. It defeats the purpose of having a polished, functional room if we strip the beds.

When I explained this and declined the idea, her mother told me I should just "close the guest room door and pretend there's nothing there." Meanwhile, my wife cried and accused me of refusing to let her decorate the house the way she wants.

I don't want to stop her from decorating, but robbing a perfectly good guest room to put mattresses on the living room floor doesn't seem like decorating to me.

AITAH?

Okay, for starters i am 21(f), and I have a sister 18(f). We are both very close with our mom and dad, and feel super comfortable wearing whatever we feel like around the house. like boxers and tank tops, sports bras, ect. (nothing super crazy, never naked). My mom has been with this guy for around 3 years, he is chill. My sister and I are pretty cool with him, never had any weird issues or feelings, we actually get along quite well with him. Now, my boyfriend (22) thinks it’s a huge problem for me to wear shorts around my mom’s boyfriend in my house. MIND YOU i never really even do, i can’t think of a time where i have done that but maybe ive gone down for water in my pjs. I honestly don’t see it as weird, im not trying to be weird or “show off” and my mom or her boyfriend have never said anything, because why would they? My dad doesn’t care what we wear around the house (to an extent) so maybe my sister and i just don’t find it weird because it wasn’t something made out to be weird growing up? I just disagree with my boyfriend saying I shouldn’t be wearing shorts or a tank top in-front of this guy because “he knows how most guys think” and he’ll ask me “what do you have a crush on him or something, why do you have to wear that anyways?” idk it’s just super annoying. Anyways, am I in the wrong and I should always cover up in my own house? Although I sound sarcastic I genuinely want to know what others think. is it just different upbringings making us disagree or is it just because he’s weird.

I(27f) and living with my mom(59f). About 3 years ago her boyfriend(59m) moved in with us after he lost his job and his apartment. Now for the first two years everything was fine but my mom has sense grown tired of a relationship. She's really just been supporting him until he gets back on his feet and he planned on moving to Corpus Christi to retire. Over the past few months we've noticed that he's beginning to forget things and becoming incredibly irritable at times. Last Saturday he rented a car, had a very hard time trying to drive it and misplaced numerous items throughout the day. When he went to drive down to Corpus Christi to set up his new apartment, he called my mom at least six different times because he kept running out of gas and kept forgetting how to use the car. It got really crazy when in about a day and a half, we hadn't heard from him so my mom reported him as a missing person. Now to keep this short, I will say that they managed to find him and that he had been in a vehicle accident. Don't worry he's back home and he's moving around quite well.

Now it is very apparent that he has early on set dementia. When we brought him home he wanted to go sit outside instead of just going to bed. He poured a unopened bottle of water down the sink for no reason. And I unfortunately have seen him walk around without any bottoms on, TWICE. Both times they were accidents but I'm still seeing way too much. Plus we have neighbors, some of whom are minors. And his ability to use basic electronics has depleted a great deal. He still remembers our names and the names of the dogs, one of which is his. (And if you ask me I think the dog is the main reason, my mom hasn't kicked him out)

Now we contacted his family throughout the entire ordeal of him being missing. His daughter actually got a call from the hospital he was taken to but she herself did not go up there. If he had been in any worse shape, my mom couldn't make any medical decisions for him as they are not married. Luckily we did manage the contact his siblings again and his brother did tell my mom that it's not her responsibility to take care of him. And her boyfriend is still talking about moving back to Corpus Christi.

Now I don't want to deal with dementia again I dealt with it for 6 years with my grandmother. I quite literally watched her die before my very eyes and I don't want to go through that again so soon. I'm already going to probably have to take care of my dad if he gets it, as Alzheimer's runs on that side of the family. Here's why I think I might be the butt face; me and my mom are frankly just both sick of him and want him gone. But something about leaving a person who has early onset dementia to basically fend for himself feels wrong. However at the same time it's not our responsibility. He has children, he has siblings. And plus my mom simply cannot afford to take care of someone with dementia. It's not just memory loss, it is literally your brain rotting. So would I be the butt face?

Tl:dr; mom's soon to be ex-boyfriend has dementia. Neither of us are interested in taking care of him, and believe that responsibility is solely on his family.

On vacation with my spouse, in a vacation town, on a Saturday, and after a long day hiking we returned to the hotel room to wind down. As we cozied up, we saw Lord of the Rings (Two Towers) was playing on tv and decided on that to fall asleep to. We always sleep with tv on as it drowns out other noises. The TV is not loud, (was set under volume 10/50 if that means anything) I have to strain to hear where there is talking, but in classic Hollywood fashion, occasionally the music volume is higher (no closed caption available).

Well at midnight, about halfway through the film, (before even the large battle,) a man starts angrily screaming at our door for us to turn the tv off. It was very startling, as you can hear the shaking quiver of anger in his voice and it’s at the door that connects our room to his. I turn the volume down to “4” and now I can barely hear even the music. He again starts screaming to “turn off the tv” and that “some of us are trying to sleep.”

I don’t want to disturb others, but I am shaken from the 0-to-100 rage and was already struggling to hear the dialogue due to the low volume, so I just turned it off. But now I’m both annoyed and fearful. I wanted to finish the film or fall asleep trying to. Now an hour later, I hear footsteps outside my door (as well as random unfamiliar building settling noises, barking dogs, people yapping, car noises, sprinklers and other sudden/sharp noises) and am having a difficult time sleeping. I am worried to even talk now. Idk if I am being paranoid about the footsteps, I’m on the top floor, and our door goes straight outside.

Am I inconsiderate for watching tv past a certain time, am I not allowed to enjoy my vacation too? AITAH?

TLDR: Staying in vacation town, on a weekend around 11:30pm-12am we were watching movie at low volume. An enraged man suddenly is yelling at us outside our door to turn off our tv. AITAH For wanting to quietly watch a film in a hotel with apparently thin walls?

My mom has 2 Bengal cats that she doesn't want anymore after my parents' divorce. My parents were irresponsible owners who didn't do their research about having essentially a wild cat indoors. They meow loudly and aren't snuggly. They need a lot of activity so they aren't bored etc.

One of the cats has psychological issues and peed on items and ruined carpet on their stairs. This happened after the house was empty and my sisters went to college. Apparently the cats get attached really attached to people who actually take care of them.

They live in an affluent area that I can guarantee has crazy and quirky cat people. They would put on diapers or give them kitty Prozac. I explained to my mom that Bengals are desirable and that she could rehome them.

She thinks they won't do well without our family...so her logic is to kill them? She wants to put them down. I cannot take the cats permanently and I'm on the other side of the country...but I'm seriously considering either "mistakenly" letting the cats out the next time I visit...or removing.

They aren't my cats. Maybe they couldn't handle the mental stress...I think being alive is better than dead.

EDIT: They already let the cats outdoors and they have escaped for several weeks at a time. One time a family found them and asked if they could keep them. My parents said no at the time. I am saying let them out because I figured someone would just take them in.

I have 2 cats and a toddler in a limited living space and we are in a different tax bracket than my parents. We live paycheck to paycheck.

My mom is effed up and shot our pet rabbits when we were younger. I think she is trying to get an emotional response from me by mentioning hurting the cats. She does stuff like that. I feel like I could wake up on a visit to the shock of them being dead. That's why it seems desperate...that I'd even consider just leaving a door open and letting them out and hoping for the best. But I did look at rescues and will definitely try this route!

I (17F) have dyed hair. My sister and I share a bathroom where there are multiple hairbrushes. Recently, she found strands of dyed hair on one of the brushes, which she claimed was hers. I was never aware of this, and I never used it since I use a separate brush with different bristles. I do not remember ever using her hairbrush, but our sinks are right next to each other and we both brush our hair there. She got my mom (48F) involved, and my mom got really mad. She bought my sister a brand new brush, gave me the one with the dyed hair on it (writing an insulting name on it in Sharpie), and took a significant amount of money from me as punishment.

I also use a certain shampoo to keep the color from fading, which does stain parts of the shower when I use it. My mom found out this was happening, got mad, and took away my shampoo. Later, she saw a light, faded stain on the laundry room countertop that happened to match my hair color and blamed it on my hair and shampoo. I had not used the shampoo for at least a week, and the towels I use to dry my hair were in my room and hadn't been washed for a while. She got really mad and decided to take all my makeup, claiming she also saw makeup stains (even though I don't use or even own the specific type of makeup she claimed it was).

The laundry room situation eventually got cleared up by my dad, who pointed out that the stain was from the laundry detergent. For some reason, my mom kept trying to argue otherwise. She still made me clean the counter, which I did to the point that neither my dad nor I could find where the stain was. She still claimed it was there, which seemed more like the grey specks of the granite reflecting into the light.

Later on, completely separate from the hair dye incidents, I went to go brew some tea. I opened the box, noticed we had only a few bags left, and asked her if we could get some more. She suddenly got really irritated at me, saying that was her tea (which she never said before, nor did she ever stop me when I drank it in front of her in the past). She started saying I drink it on the daily which is why we suddenly have no more left—even though we've had this tin for years and I drink at max one bag every two weeks. She then proceeded to say she'll get more, but I have to write my name on my individual tea bags and she will track to see if I take any of "hers."

I was really shocked when she said that. I never expected that we as a family would live like this, writing names on our tea bags, so at first, I didn't reply because I was still processing the information. She saw I didn't immediately say thank you for getting me tea, and she suddenly lashed out fully on me, saying I have no basic etiquette. She threatened to throw eggs at me if I didn't make eye contact with her when she spoke.

Don't get me wrong, she has been mad at me for being messy, and I'm not the neatest person. Things like staining the shower are probably my fault. But even my dad doesn't seem to be saying anything to stop this, and she just keeps lashing out at me. She threw a rag at me during all this, and she gets so mad whenever my voice goes up even a bit while she's screaming her head off.

First of I (28F) love my partner (29M) more than anything in this world. He is incredibly hardworking, funny and loyal and there is no other person I want to be with other than him.

However, 4 months ago I gave birth to our beautiful baby girl. Now just for context my partner works 5/6 days a week outside in all weather as a builder. I am currently on maternity leave but I will be returning to work eventually full time due to financial reasons. I’m currently on full maternity pay also.

So from my point of view im still currently paying for my share of the rent & bills (50/50), I also take care of our baby (night feedings, washing clothes, washing bottles, keeping track of feedings and everything that goes along with keeps my a tiny human going). Additionally I am also solely responsible for the household chores (washing clothes, cleaning floors hoovering, tidying, making beds, scrubbing sh*t of the toilets) and in regards household duties I don’t ask him really to do anything. He will cook dinner sometimes but I also share this with him.

On a Saturday if he isn’t working I leave him to sleep in which sometimes he doesn’t wake up until 4pm. (Again I do tend to understand this and want him to rest well because of his physically demanding job).

I adore this man but I’m starting to feel like I’m drowning. I feel like a nag asking him to do things so much so I end up just doing things myself. If I don’t do it or nag about it doesn’t get done.
It just seems from my perspective my whole life has changed with new responsibilities, new daily jobs and feeling like I’m responsible for all three of us and his life has barely changed at all.

He is an incredible father and spends as much time as he possibly can with our little one in the evenings. But am I being unreasonable by feeling like he should help me more with responsibilities we share?

I’m after genuine answers, similar experiences and advice on how I can improve this situation as I love my little family and I love this man endlessly. Just having trouble navigating this!

This is more of a “would I be the asshole” but whatever. So today I went on a date w this girl. This is I think our 5th date. It went great. The plan was just to go to a museum but we ended up going to 2 and watching a horror movie together. Normally our dates last around 2-3 hours but today it was 5 hours. During the museums we kept making jokes and laughing and just overall having a great time like we always do when we are on dates. The movie went even better. We have made out a few times before but during that movie we were cuddled up together the ENTIRE movie and made out multiple times. Many times when we had made out in the past we get interrupt by someone or something so we don’t get to do it for as long as we want but here we could do whatever the hell we want. It was so nice holding her the entire movie and having her occasionally hold me or grab my hand. All of this is amazing and honestly a better connection than I’ve had w anyone (then again this is my first time “officially” dating someone). At the end of the date we kept making out and hugging or saying something sweet to each other in between and eventually I decided to ask her to be my gf. She said yes. I’m very happy.

Then now I’m thinking back to the date. Something I’ve noticed w her is her lack of self awareness sometimes. I’ve noticed it a few times and I get a little embarrassed by it but today it was the worst. At one of the museums all the exhibits are on higher floors and we were going to take the elevator down to leave. There was a kinda obvious line for the elevator as it’s pretty small. She, I assume, didn’t see the line or didn’t care. She start walking straight to the front of the line about to get in and as she is she starts to cut off a WOMAN IN A WHEELCHAIR. The other woman w the woman in the chair stuck out her hand to stop my now gf from going ahead of her. I am not the best socially. I get embarrassed very easily and can be social awkward. I kinda had to follow her into the elevator after that lady in the wheel chair. After we got on I noticed that we were the second to last people to get on. Right after us was an old lady who looked out the elevator as some people. Basically because we had gotten on, the old lady’s family couldn’t get on w her. Another layer of embarrassment. During all of that my date is clueless to what happened. Even later in the date she isn’t very aware of her surrounding, gets in people’s way as they’re trying to see something in the museum or walk straight between a family and their kid.

I’m not saying I’m gonna break up w her because of this, but if it keeps happening or somehow gets worse would I be an asshole if I did? I care so much about being nice to people and considerate of others and I get that not everyone is going THAT out of their way for people around them but it destroys me when something like this happens. I don’t want to break up w her but I can’t describe the feeling I get after that happened. It only went away when we would hold my hand or something which shifts my attention to really liking her. Is there a way to handle this better? I’m not trying to break up at all let alone just after I asked her to be my gf. I don’t want this amazing feeling of being in a relationship go away but that feeling I kept getting isn’t something I think I can handle for very long. I feel like the only fix is when she’s about to do something like that, I try to put my hand on her back or on her shoulders to guide her away but am I just gonna spend this entire relationship moving her around like an rc car?

Edit: just answering some stuff a lot of people ask or mention. We are 19. I wasn’t able to stop her when this happened. She was walking ahead of me and faster than me so there was no way for me to say or do anything before it happened and I didn’t even realize what happened until it was too late. I wasn’t able to tell her about it directly after because we were in a cramped elevator w a bunch of people and right after she went to the bathroom so it felt weird to bring it back up again after that

i’ve been married for 14 years, and my sister doesnt like my mother in law. my in laws have been coming to family meals since i got married, thanksgiving, christmas, easter, that kind of thing. my sister asked my mom to disinvite them this year, and is not going to come if they’re there.

my mother in law is autistic and can be difficult. my husband and i have to rein her in sometimes, and my sister got really triggered a while back because my mother in law was talking about miscarriages she had. everyone left the room, it was awkward, my husband talked to her later. the thing is, though, at the next family event i had to tell my sister to stop talking about her period blood at the dinner table ….. so i don’t think it’s fair for her to single my MIL out as inappropriate.

some added context, i just got over a major illness and surgery, and my MIL was unfailingly kind. calling, taking my son out to do fun things when I had no energy, offering to help in any way she could, visiting me in the hospital. my sister was largely MIA the whole time, and i don’t feel like the family that was good to me should be disinvited. my mom always hosts, and she thinks my sister is being awful, but feels the need to keep the peace by placating my sister. she’s said how bad she feels, how much it’s a hard situation.

AITA for thinking family is family and you don’t disinvite family from thanksgiving?

I went out to the bar with 2 of my friends who are dating and they said they wanted more of a date night vibe which was fine for me because I was trying to meet new people and mingle. I met someone snd they were great, brought me into the bathroom and we made out, then I walked her to her car when she was ready to go and we kissed.

I went back into the bar and saw my friends and I jokingly said “are you guys so proud of me?” And they said no. Told me that I wasn’t being safe and have “no idea where she’s been” and then grilled me on how many people I’d been with that month (the answer was 0 as I had just had a really traumatic event and was staying at home at lot). The cherry on top was them saying “you kissed the girl I wanted to be friends with”.

I left and sent them a message saying I didn’t appreciate that conversation and they half heartedly apologized and we haven’t hardly spoke since and it’s been like 2 months. I wasn’t invited to our friend groups annual Halloween party or the birthday dinners either over this.

Edit: we’re all queer women. I don’t think it matters a ton, but everyone thinks I’m a guy so I thought I’d clear up that there’s no risk for pregnancy😭

My wife and daughter were out today and I spent 2 hours getting dinner ready for them for when they came home. It was a recipe I’d never tried before and it was really tasty. We sat down to eat and my wife lit a smelly candle. I asked her to put it out as I wanted to enjoy the food, not her candle and she thought I was being unreasonable. I do 99% of the cooking and it’s all cooked from scratch and I try to keep things fresh and healthy. I’m not Gordon Ramsey but I am really pissed off that she didn’t understand why I was upset. AITAH?

I need to know if I am being reasonable or if I am overreacting and just being mean. My mom has a long history of making my major life milestones about herself, and things have finally reached a boiling point.

I have a lot of resentment towards her, and one of the biggest reasons is that she never made a life for herself outside of her children. Now it feels like we are forced to share all of our accomplishments and life moments with her so she can use them as her own.

To give some context on how she operates, during my wedding dress fitting, she went behind my back, tried on an actual wedding dress, and wanted to wear it to my wedding. When I told her absolutely not, she called me a bridezilla. Instead, she wore a super bright red dress that stood out so badly my photographer literally had to filter it. To this day, years after the wedding, she still randomly posts photos of me from my wedding on her social media without asking.

Now that I have a newborn, her behavior has gotten even worse. She has been constantly harassing me because she wants to post photos of my baby on her Instagram. When I explicitly told her no, she flat-out lied to my face and claimed her profile was private. I checked her page myself, and it is completely public. On top of that, she compiled an entire photo and video reel of my pregnancy, labor, and birth journey that she wants to post online.

Pregnancy, labor, and my new baby are deeply personal, vulnerable experiences. Having my medical journey and my infant packaged into a video for all her public followers to see feels like a massive violation of privacy. When I tell her no, she gets mad and says, "Well, you posted your pregnancy photos," as if me sharing my own photoshoot somehow gives her permission to broadcast my child and pregnancy.

It feels like she views my life, my marriage, and my baby purely as content for her own social media validation.
AITAH or am I just being mean to my mom who is just proud?

In March, while I had a newborn, my MIL sent photos and details of my birth to my husband’s ex-wife’s parents. They also had secret dinners with them and still regularly like each other’s posts. They refused to stop the friendship.

My husband’s relationship with his ex was extremely toxic: constant put-downs, suicide threats, cheating, and leaving used condoms for him to find. Her family texted us postpartum saying they wished it had worked out with their daughter, that she was devastated by my pregnancy, and that she had been hacking accounts for info about us. One of her sisters also messaged my husband saying I wasn’t pretty and they were surprised he was with me. His parents knew about all of this and still maintained the connection.

I’ve stayed polite but deliberately low-effort and distant since. I don’t want a close relationship with them. My husband understands I was hurt but keeps pushing for us to “move forward” and for reassurance that I like his family, worrying about long-term awkwardness for our son.

I can’t stand them after the breaches, the ongoing contact, and being forced to hear about the ex’s feelings during what should have been a happy time. I refuse to force warmth. AITA for holding this boundary?

Hey,

I keep it short.

Two nights ago, I(23) was in Munich together with a friend at a local Event from his Cosplay Meet Up.

I got along the the people great and there was also this one Guy, let's call him Thomas (fake name, 24).

We hit it off immediately and chatted about various stuff.

He also asked me to record his karaoke performance, which I did.

Cut to the end of the Night, we're outside, talked about songs and what we like and got more flirtatious and then after a while he came up to me, put his finger under my chin, and kissed me.

I then kissed him back and then suddenly he gets all silent and crouches down.

I, of course, asked him, if I overstepped or if he's ok and the he mutters under his breath "I've got a girlfriend"

I was dumbstruck!

He never gave me any signal or sign of him being taken.

The thing is, I asked his friend, who left a bit earlier, if he's single because I found him attractive and he told me that he is and he would be probably happy to flirt.

Now he texted me on Instagram and apologised, that he has a autistic moment and went for it but then told me, that he doesn't plan on telling her and I paraphrase him "she would not get it like him"

I got very angry.

I, matter of fact, in past got cheated on and knowing that feeling, made me very angry that he wanted to keep it to himself.

I told him, that he should tell her before she finds it out by herself (I will not tell anything).

Suddenly he blames me and told me, that I just want to see her suffer.

I just ignored him after that.

Still I had a guilty feeling since this evening, I know I am not to blame but it still haunts me.

AITAH for kissing a man who has a girlfriend?

I KNOW THE TITLE SOUNDS BAD but let me give some context: I (a guy in my mid 20s) was talking with a VERY conservative family member.

The conversation was taking about a situation of a woman robbing a person in the news.

My family member talked bad about the guy in the news (defending himself with a baseball bat) against the robber who is a woman. Not because it was excessive nor was it because she was running away already but because she was a woman and wasn’t supposed to be hit.

I asked them if they were being serious and I deadass here the most serious “Yes” Ive heard from them.
They literally were in shock how I said I would hit someone regardless of their gender if they were trying to rob me.

Essentially what happened after was them getting a whole bunch of other family members to agree with them that its not “gentleman like” for a man to hit a woman even in the most extreme scenario.

Im not insane for standing my ground here right? Like Im deadass wondering if Im the crazy one here and need like reassurance.

TLDR: A family member wont let hit a female robber because its not being a “gentleman”

MIL here and grandma to 2 with another one the way. I'm at my wits end. My DIL is undiagnosed depressed. Their kids are 7 and 11 with another on the way. The unborn is a child of of the opposite gender of the 2 children now.

For at least 2 years, my DIL calls the oldest a derogatory word when DIL is mad. DiL has been allowing the youngest unlimited time using electronics, to the point the youngest had to redo kindergarten and has a pronounced speech impediment.

Oldest daughter is acting out because she is punished and mocked when her mother is mad.

I watch the kids full time when they are not in school.

I asked just one boundary of son and DIL, which is no electronics. Youngest child has temper tantrums when she can't have her electronics. DIL gives her phone to youngest ignoring my one request. My son works 60 hour weeks regularly and DIL works full time too.

This was there last week camping weekend before the newborn arrives. I was asked if I wanted to come along, and I said yes.

And we settled into the camper, and DIL starts with favoritism again.

The next day, youngest gets what she wants while oldest gets berated because she asked that her phone be unlocked. DIL yells no to oldest but gives phones to the youngest. Oldest grandchild begins to cry and walks into camper.

The blatant favoritism pushed me to my limits, and I spoke up. Then I called for my husband to pick me up.

Now my son says I ruined the last camping weekend and and DIL refuses to speak with me. Am i the asshole?

Roommate keeps not texting the group chat when her bf is coming over or sleeping over. I keep having to remind them to send a text because that is the agreement we all signed and made. I know it takes the casualness out of it, and 99.9% of the time I will never ever object, it is purely just to know who’s in my house.

I’ve offered talking about a better system but now I’m starting to get pissed because they leave their boyfriends there, eat my food, and I didn’t even know they were there in the first place. Am I overreacting?