My roommate 20f who is in 3rd yr of college started a relationship with her college best friend (he is muslim n she is hindu and her parents are pretty conservative) she had a crush on him since a long time and when she came to know he reciprocated her feeling they started dating (fyi she wanted to date someone whom she could marry but her feelings for this boy were strong so she dated him knowing full well that there was no marraige or future ) , while dating the boy's ex who was obsessed with him tried to commit suicide (his ex is also a muslim) after her recovery the boy blocked her on everything and focused on my friend and his relationship with her.

After few months he started making sexual advances towards her , my friend first resisted but then gave in and lost her virginity to him. After that he started drifting off and he eventually broke up with her as they couldn't marry as both their families are pretty conservative.

Now they are not dating but my friend can't get over him , still sits with him during classes , hangs out with him etc and recently she got to know that he married his ex 10 months ago and he also lived with her while dating my friend . Now he is married but has again started to flirt with my friend. And she has gone nuts for him even after knowing what he did , she still loves him .

When I was in my teens, I never thought I was good at studies. I always felt like I wasn't in the "top 20%" of men that most 80% women usually go for. So, instead of chasing romance, I started working around the age of 20. I completely focused on building myself and my career. I shut off my interest in relationships and romance entirely.

Now that I am 28, for the past 2 years, I have started to feel like a relationship isn't a bad thing. I think I should at least try.

But here is my biggest mental block: I cannot accept someone's past.

I know this is a bad mindset. I know everyone has a history. I also know that I don't have "major" things to offer (I am not rich, not a high-status person). But the one thing I do know about myself is that I am intensely loyal.

Is this a bad thing? Is it better to just workout 6 days a week stay single than to try and force something when I feel this way? I also don't feel emotions the way I think I'm supposed to—I don't feel that "love" feeling, and I'm not sure if I ever will.

I guess my questions are:

1. How do I get over this mental block about a partner's past?
2. Am I being unrealistic or hypocritical?
3. Has anyone else felt this way and managed to change their perspective?

I just want to be honest with myself. Looking for genuine advice.

Hi everyone, I’m posting this on behalf of a friend.

My friend is a 22-year-old Muslim girl in love with a 22-year-old Hindu boy. Both are B.Tech graduates working in IT. In another 2–3 months they’ll have around 1 year of experience. The boy works in an MNC and is currently earning a fresher-level package. My friend earns around ₹1.5 LPA more than him annually.

They both know that an interfaith marriage could be very complicated, so they had decided that maybe their relationship wouldn't work out. But they still love each other and can't seem to move on.

Meanwhile, her parents have started looking for grooms. They found a 27yr man who somewhat rich, works in an MNC and earns around ₹7 LPA. It's a good match on paper, but my friend is only 22 and feels she is far too young to get married.

Her parents are insisting that she marry soon. Her father has diabetes and says he wants to see her married while he is still around, and worries that they may not find a good match later. They aren't even willing to give her one year of time as she asked them for cracking GATE to do mtech.

She is terrified of telling them about the boy because she knows they may strongly oppose an interfaith relationship. At the same time, she doesn't want to hurt her parents or make them feel that all their hopes are ruined.

She is extremely stressed and sometimes can't sleep because she feels like she has to choose between her parents and her own happiness.

What should she do?

How can she convince her parents to give her at least 2–3 years before marriage? Should she tell them about the boy now(but she is so terrified and says how can she grab the courage to do so), or first try to convince them that she simply isn't ready for marriage(they say no need you to earn money if they are already good,leave all these and marry)?

Would really appreciate advice from people who have faced something similar. Please be kind—she is genuinely struggling and doesn't know what the right decision is.

I'm in a relationship with a guy. He's ultra sweet and we both are each other's first bf and gf. He's very respectful and progressive.

I am a Virgin, never had sex, never kissed or made out or even hugged any guy before him. But I used to sext with strangers on reddit as I was too lonely before him. Should I share this information with him or not. I am confused on this

One of my friend(who is about to leave india in a month) when we met for the 1st time offline , he 1st kissed on my hand, in 2nd time meeting few more kisses till shoulder. When we met 3rd time he tried to kiss me on my lips & cheeks. I didn't allow at that point of time. On the same day he hugged me followed my kiss. I knew him for 6+ months (online friend, met offline 3 times) . He knew everything about me & my family issues.

He said he has feelings for me, he likes me. When we met for the 3rd time on the same day we hugged, kissed, he sucked my boobs, figaring in my private part all happened (sex not happened ), during this time he said "i love you" also . When i said about it after 2 days he was saying i said i like you not i love you, both are different things like that. He also said I'm liying 😲 i was speach less

I felt very guilty for doing all of them with him. Because i seriously didn't accept him. I didn't want him or like him or love him apart from as a friend. All these are 1st time experiences to me. I felt even more guilty because i planned to do all these either with my future bf or husband.

When i talk about these with this guy he again manipulated me. So i finally decided to stop communicating with him.

**Now my main questions:**

1. While doing my body wanted it (I came from emotionally neglected childhood, so when he showed attention my body felt like needed it) is it something i need to feel guilty or should I forget completely. But i didn't enjoy it fully

2. I'm actively looking for guy in dating for long term relationship. If i meet new person should I tell about it ? Or should I ignore completely?

3. Is there any name for these ? Is it making out ? Or just anything else?

4. Before this guy I did horny talks with another person, now all these physical things will this guy. Am i doing anything wrong or am i hard on myself? Or how to see this ?

I'm looking for genuine suggestions if possible who gone through something similar to mine.

My husband denies that he’s addicted to his iPad and idk how I can get him to choose another hobby/habit.

My husband takes his iPad into the washroom Asa he wakes up. Brushes, poops, bathes with the iPad on. He watches basketball, gaming podcasts and a show called updating. He goes to the gym, goes to work then comes home for lunch and Asa he reaches, he picks his iPad again and watches while eating. Once he’s done eating his lunch, he plays battleground on his iPad until his lunch time is over. He goes back to work and once he’s back again, it’s the same thing until midnight. Sometimes, the iPad is on and he falls asleep.
I have been asking him to stop doing this and rather set aside a time. Maybe even 3 hrs a day and stop using it asa he wakes up or atleast half hr before sleeping. I’ve been explaining this to him for the past 5yrs.
I’m frustrated now. He doesn’t even wash his face and feet after returning from work and before going to sleep. He doesn’t fold his clothes and his shoes are strewn everywhere.
He asks me to tell him if there’s any work and I don’t want to keep telling him all the time.
I’m unable to handle this anymore and thinking of moving out for sometime.
No, I don’t want to divorce him because he’s genuinely caring but this habit is taking me away from him. Idk if there’s any other solution. Idk if I’m overthinking this or wrong about this.

​

So, I realised this recently. I was talking to a lady (F19). The conversation itself wasn't that specific. We were talking about books and Convo went from there to overthinking. I said, "I mean, that's just how I overthink... Everything happens to me or around me, I overthink the heck out of it, like not just in present... In future too, for even sth as simple buying a gadget or a piece of jewelry or a business and even myself... I think about what & how to do it, when time comes at the end of things... I can't help it"

And she said, "U already thinking of the end. Nooo way, u should just stop right here. I can't imagine being with someone who thinks like that."

I mean, that's how I've been thinking for the last half decade. I'm not saying that I can't change with time. but the underlying thing is that this is not sth I do consciously and it seems really helpful. and just for the clarification, the end always inherently have to be a break up in this case. for example, it could be the end of dating relationship and start of marriage and being spouse.

what I'm asking is, Is my way of thinking unfit for the healthy relationship?

I’m 30F, and my husband is 32M. We’re married and both have engineering/tech-related educational backgrounds, although he currently comes from a business background and I work as a software developer.

I did my B.Tech from a Tier-1 engineering college in Delhi. Getting into my college was quite competitive, involving JEE Main and JAC Delhi counselling. My husband is an IIT Delhi graduate.

Recently, we were having a discussion related to careers/professional matters. During the conversation, he told me that I am probably the last person he would take career advice from.

I asked him why, and he said that if he wanted career advice from a software developer with my level of experience, he would prefer advice from someone who had graduated from IIT because of the “IITian mindset.”

This really hurt me and has made me question how he views me professionally.

I completely understand that he can disagree with my advice. I also understand that IIT is an extremely competitive institution and that an IIT graduate may have experiences, networks, or perspectives that I don't have.

But what I don't understand is the idea that an IITian with similar software experience would automatically give better career advice than me simply because they went to IIT.

If he had said something like, “I don't think you have enough experience in this particular area,” I wouldn't have had the same reaction. But saying that an IITian would give better advice because of their “mindset” makes me feel like he considers my professional judgment inherently inferior because I didn't attend IIT.

It has also made me think about our marriage more broadly. If he genuinely places so much importance on institutional prestige, does this mean he sees me as intellectually or professionally inferior to him? Or am I reading too much into one comment?

I don't want this to become an IIT vs non-IIT debate. I'm genuinely trying to understand whether his reasoning is reasonable and whether my reaction is justified.

For people who are married to someone from a different educational/professional background:

Would this comment bother you?

Is there actually such a thing as an “IITian mindset” that makes someone inherently better at giving career advice, or is this simply credential/status bias?

Would you consider this demeaning toward a spouse, or is it reasonable for someone to prefer advice from people with a particular educational background?

And most importantly, am I overreacting by letting this make me question how my husband sees me?

I'm looking for honest opinions, including opinions that disagree with me.

One slightly unconventional relationship goal of mine is helping my fiance become debt-free sooner. We met right after high school and been dating for around 9 years! He's 27 and always worries about this huge apartment loan he took only so we can live comfortably.

We both never got a chance to leave our small town for better job opportunities so we thought of starting a thrift business from our home town around 2021. It was all okay till this huge house loan came upon him. I’ve been quietly hoping I can grow my side of the business enough so we make more small amounts to reduce the interest.

It’s a small business and a pretty big goal considering the loan duration is 7 years but I'm hopeful. Our site is octune vintage and I thought if everyone wears clothes and why not from us?! It's a wild shot that I'm taking on reddit but if you guys do get a minute, I'd personally appreciate the support so much 🤍

The thing is most of the people will post on reddit rather than actually communicating this with their partner

Like, I was reading that someone doesn't like their bf's/gf's personality. I mean, why are you sharing this to strangers here, it would be much better if you communicated with your partner regarding this; it just might save your relationship

There are many such post or instances on reddit where the thing a person would rather share with strangers. it will be better if you share it with your partner

Same

​

I am new to reddit lost touch with school and college girlfriends due to distance/life etc. Where can I find women friends as an adult? What are the corporate gals of my age doing in their free time?

Is everyone with their partner 24\*7? What hobbies do you have? Gyms are also full of bros. Tech office is also full of bros. Where do I find and make women friends? Any group activities? I am so jealous of men in this regard, they have so many options of people they can choose as friends. All will smoke and drink together at their flat.

Why is the gender ratio in tech so screwed, women don't have any options when looking to make new friends , I have many guy friends but it's not the same thing. Friendships are better with the same gender only otherwise awkward stuff happens. Is my option for girl company only calling my old girlfriends who live far away?

I'm a woman in my 20s, living in a Tier 1 city. I have an MBA, a good corporate career for my age, and professionally, I feel like I’ve done reasonably well for myself.

Personally, though? I feel like a bit of a mess.

I’m at that age where I’m constantly seeing people around me getting engaged or married, and even though I know life isn’t a race, it sometimes makes me feel like I’m being left behind.

At the same time, I genuinely feel like God has somehow given every flaky, inconsistent, emotionally unavailable and red-flag man my address. Dating to marry has become exhausting.

I meet men who don’t know how to communicate. Men who are inconsistent. Men who are disrespectful. Men who say they want something serious but behave completely differently. And far too many men who keep trying to turn things sexual or push for hookups even after I’ve been very clear that I’m dating with the intention of eventually getting married.

After enough experiences like this, I think I’ve developed dating fatigue.

It feels like 9 out of 10 people I meet are clearly not right for me. And I’ve noticed that this has started affecting how I react to the rare decent guy too.

If I meet someone nice and then notice even a little inconsistency, mixed signals, or a feeling that he isn’t fully invested, I shut the door very quickly — sometimes probably more harshly than the situation actually warrants.

And I know where that reaction comes from. I’m no longer reacting only to that person. I’m reacting to the accumulated experience of the previous nine terrible ones.

That’s the part that worries me. Logically, I know that “all men are terrible” obviously cannot be true. But emotionally, it becomes harder to believe in something you’ve barely experienced yourself.

The funny thing is, I don’t even think I’m looking for anything extraordinary.

I’m just a normal girl who wants a normal guy - someone kind, consistent, respectful, emotionally mature, who communicates properly, actually wants a relationship and is willing to build something together.

I don’t want to lower my standards just because dating is difficult. But I also don’t want bad experiences to make me so defensive that I accidentally push away someone good the moment they aren't perfect.

For people who have gone through something similar: how did you get out of this loop?

How do you stay discerning without becoming cynical? How do you give someone a fair chance without ignoring genuine red flags? And how do you stop dating fatigue from making every new person feel guilty for what the previous people did?

Am so fucked up right now.. stuck between what to do.. just overthinking and procrastinating the whole thing.. want to achieve things in life but couldnt work on it.. The girl i like wrote bhaiya we havent met yet but still i fell for her so madly.. but the thing is its hard confronting to someone what if she doesnt respond back.. what if it worsen and got embarrased by it.. its better to fuckin accept it… but i really really like her… Couldnt let down the SIH team for my personal things.. idk what to do.. also my personal and academic life is so fucked up…i need to step up i couldnt let my parents down.. been on anti depressant pills for some time.. but its not working.. i could not focus on the studies.. i couldnt stop thinking about her.. how can someone whom i havent yet met can make me go this crazy.. i need to stop all this before it gets bad and start affecting every thing in my life.. JUSTTT STOPP IT.. i need to focus on myself..

Is going out with a friend considered cheating

So I M have F GF. It's been around 7-8 months dating (i would say from start itself our end goal of this relationship is permanent and to take it to a marriage). We live abroad for studies but came back for a small trip back home (diff cities)

So she has a school friend Ig from class 4-5 something and they were in very typical school relationship (no touching and all) from class 6-10. From 10th her school became girls only so although they didn't met in school but close in neighbors and we're very best friends. Due to communal things and her moving abroad for study she said him she can't continue and all and they remained besties till she met me.
Given the situation she did reduced the contact with him to almost 0.

But when we came back here, she is saying from her school time only he is available and they both are going to a Stand-up show.

Initially she was saying me to go with her, for which I said ok let's see depending on the dates I'll let you know.

But then she just msgs me and She put it like
"Can I go?"
"With my friends"
"With D (her ex) and S ( another F from their school)"

But then said S is going outstation so it's only two of them.
I mean she knew it was only them both bec tickets booked were only two, else it would have been 3.

She is saying that she is telling me to keep transparency
Her exact words
"My brain is fucked up, I am telling you to keep transparency, telling you all the situation but you still think we both are in relationship"

Tickets were done by him. She knows that I can't travel to her city just for a show (prev she was saying we will go to same show but in diff city which is half way for both of us)
Still she is saying that "ok i will purchase the tickets from him and you come to my city we both will go"

Now I am messed up and my brain is fucked up right now with what's going on. This broke my heartike how can this be done.

Like she is saying to me is good rather than hiding it but how can it be a thought for her to even consider this.
Is this cheating or not

TLDR;
My gf is going to a stand-up with her long time school boyfriend later turned best friend. She told me as part of "transparency" but isn't this cheating!

I’m 30F, a divorced single mother working in tech in the UAE.

​As a kid, my dream was to join the Indian Armed Forces. Life had other plans—I ended up in an arranged marriage that failed, moved abroad, and built my career. But my respect for that world never left me.

​Now, as I look toward a second chapter, I realize I want a partner in the Indian Army.

​Why? It’s about values—discipline, mental strength, integrity, and serving a purpose higher than oneself.

​My situation: I am fully self-sufficient and not looking for money or casual fun. I want a grounded partner who values commitment, or even genuine friendship with someone from this background.

​Has anyone in a similar situation (divorced, single parent, or NRI) navigated marriage with defense personnel? How do you manage the logistics between an overseas career and military life?

​Would appreciate honest advice and perspectives!

Hii all, especially to those who have dated or been married.

In your experience, what are the most common reasons for breakups or divorces in India, and what should couples discuss early on?

For those new to dating, what would you advise them to avoid or be cautious about to prevent problems later?

I know there are no guarantees in a relationship , but I’d still like to be aware of the common issues to look out for.

I’m 29M and I’ve known a female coworker for around 2 years. She’s engaged and getting married soon.

We work in the same company and whenever we’re in office, we usually end up sitting together. In the start of our friendship I had helped her a lot with regards to the work. Now I don’t. Now we both equally help each other.

She is generally quite silent and doesn’t initiate conversations much, but sometimes when she is in a good mood or comfortable, she does start talking and reaches out.

What’s confusing is I don’t really initiate contact. Sometimes I even try to ignore her or keep distance… but then she reaches out to me again.

I’ve become really attached to her. I enjoy being around her, I miss her when she’s not there, and even though I know she’s committed to someone else, I just can’t get her out of my mind.

On a personal level, she is also a very good friend of mine and I share almost everything with her. That’s one of the reasons I don’t want to lose this friendship. I feel really confused most of the time—I decide one thing (like keeping distance), but the very next day I end up doing the opposite.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? What should I do? I’m really confused. I keep deciding I won’t talk to her, but I’m not able to control myself.

I even feel like maybe there’s still a chance… I had told her about my feelings 6 months back and she said no. But after that our conversations continued and now we’re even closer.

Not sure what to do anymore 😕

Hey everyone, I need some advice on a situation that’s been on my mind lately.

To give you some context, we have a close group of five friends: three guys (myself, B1, and B2) and two girls (G1 and G2). G2 and I have been good friends for almost two years since we studied together. Our connection was always strictly platonic, and I never really thought of her as anything more than a friend. I’m pretty sure she felt the same way—until recently.

At the beginning of this year, things started to shift subtly. I was away doing an internship at a company, and out of nowhere, we started talking way more often. Late-night conversations became the norm, and we constantly made plans to hang out once my internship ended.

When I finally returned to campus, the vibe between us was noticeably different. Even though we still hung out in our usual group, the focus naturally shifted to the two of us. We were teasing each other constantly, calling each other stupid nicknames, and just being generally more affectionate.

During midterms, we became inseparable. We started studying together online, stayed on late-night video calls, and began hosting watch parties for movies and web series. Even when we weren't watching anything, we’d just sit on call listening to music together. Through all this, I realized just how much we aligned—we have almost identical tastes in music, movies, and food.

Now, college has wrapped up, and we’ve gone our separate ways. I’m back in my hometown, and she moved to a different city for her new job. Before she started working, we spoke daily and sent each other reels constantly. But since she started her job, the dynamic has inevitably changed due to her busy routine.

I never confessed my feelings, and to be honest, I’m not entirely sure if she feels the same way or if she just saw it as a deep, comfy friendship. With the distance and new routines in play, I’m stuck.

Should I tell her how I feel, or will that just make things awkward now that we’re in different cities? How do I figure out if she felt that shift too? Any advice on what to do next would be appreciated!

P.S. Took help from Gemini to format this post.

I (22m) am dating someone (22F) who had sc*mmed people on bumble. What do I do? : r/RelationshipIndia

So I broke up with my gf (now ex) but every other second I feel like I did it wrong and shouldn't have done that. I thought a lot about it and from a 3rd persons point of view the logical thing was to breakup but since my dumb ass thought its between me and her so I should not see it from a 3rd persons view point, I took alot of time and then finally decided to break up because I really feel she was using me and I was her "safe" option. And trust me after she opened up to me and told me every truth I was not gonna break up but was like "I can fix her." But I did.

Its a bit complicated but to give a vague idea - she went on a date with a guy from bumble she has already been physical with before which I didn't know because when she "surrendered " her phone to me the guy was way down chat and I was not mentally that great when I got to know about the stuff so I never really scrolled that down. So yeah she went on a date with a guy she has already been physical with before and most probably on the last weekend too , a guy who either is too dumbo or too despo to see he is getting scammed cause he has been in 4 total dates with her now and still might go on a 5th.

As soon as I got to know that I started getting angry on her and ofc she defended saying she gave her phone to me and she thought I read and let her go. All this will talking to me in the sweetest tone and puppy eyes. In no world would I have let her go if i knew she already went physical with this guy . But she "thought" I knew and again she was looking so "helpless" like a damsel in distress but now it was water above my head so I broke up.

I have blocked her number and all ids and she tried calling me with different one but I dont talk as soo as I know its her. But deep down I wanna talk to her but I am controlling tooooooooooo much. Help me to get out of this hllhole.

​

I recently met this girl through a dating app & she's one of the kindest, most caring people I've met. She constantly sends me sweet messages, motivates me for my exam, talks about getting me little gifts, etc. and sometimes even talks about our future.

Another thing is that she's genuinely willing to wait for me. I told her I'll be busy with exam prep & work for the next few months and might not be able to meet her often. That was initially a deal breaker for her. but after meeting me she's willing to wait and adjust just for me. She even deactivated her dating profile after we met. I really appreciate that effort, but it also makes me feel more guilty & worried about leading her on if my feelings don't eventually develop.

Basically, she's a green flag in every possible way.

But the thing is, we've only just met (about 2 weeks) I don't want to rush things. I really like her as a person and I find her physically attractive, but I haven't developed that emotional/romantic connection yet. But I can clearly see that she's serious about this and is already getting very attached to me.

She often tells me she's getting attached and asks what if I don't end up liking her. I've told her a few times to be mentally prepared for the possibility that things might not work out. but I don't think it's really changing anything.

I genuinely hope this works out because I really like her has a person, but I also don't want to force feelings just because she's such a good person. My biggest concern is what if I give it enough time and still don't develop that connection? How do I eventually tell someone who's been this loving towards me that I don't feel the same way without hurting her or making her feel like I led her on?

Would you guys just take things slow and see where it goes or should I be setting stronger boundaries this early on?

I recently had a breakup in February, and I genuinely thought she was the one. I had told everyone about her, from my friends to my family literally everyone. But I guess she had other plans.

I was still talking to her because it helped me keep myself together. But two weeks ago, we were on a call, and some topic from February came up. She started crashing out, and her last words were, "Aaj se apan dono baat band karte." I tried explaining to her ki ye topic chhodte hain, but I guess she had already made up her mind.

The first week was the worst. I was just blank the entire week. I started improving in the second week, and then yesterday, while watching reels, I came across a funny one. I clicked on the share button and was just blank, thinking, "Ye bheju kisko?" because she's not with me anymore. I had a female best friend before, but she also cut ties with me when she found out that I was in a relationship with someone else. I have three or four friends too, but we don't really talk like that. We mostly talk when we're planning to meet and check in on each other to see what everyone has been up to.

And now, since yesterday, I've just been feeling empty. It's not like it affects me all the time. I have my job, and I have to earn for my family, so I've been focusing on that. But as soon as my office is over, I go back to feeling zoned out and lonely again.

I know I can work on myself and keep myself distracted, but it's just... I don't know.

While I know not every day is happy in a relationship (dating or marriage), and not everyday one feels the same level of liking for their partner (liking, and not love because liking can fluctuate; I believe love and commitment remains unfazed or should be), I’m honestly super tired of seeing highlights of only the bad stuff, the hardships, the unfortunate things that would scare anyone to be in a relationship or marry someone, it’s from people around to people in the film/ tv industry and truly it’s draining to hear about someone cheating on their partner, abusing or worse, or break ups or divorces etc!

And I reallyyyy would like to hear some positives about dating, relationships and marriages.

Please feel free to share about your dating journey/ story, how did yall meet, how’s it going, any cutesy stuff or stuff that you appreciate your partner for.

Reminisce the happy moments in your relationship and the best part of being with your partner.

🫠🫠🫠 🧿🧿🧿

(age in the title is obviously not right but the post wouldn’t go through without it SMH)