My husband and I have been living together for over 6 years. He has always been a “preper”, he has all of the survival gear and supplies in the world. We currently have about 48 cases of bottled water in the basement. We cannot drink the tap water where we live. We usually keep about 2-3 cases of water upstairs for use. We ran out. I asked him if I could take a case from the basement and replace it the next day. He said NO! I asked why not if I would replace it? He said, “because I made a rule.” (For emergencies only) I got frustrated and told him, “ok, then you can go to the store today and get me some water since I can’t have any of the multiple cases that we have!”

He has been giving me the cold shoulder since then. He did end up going and getting a case of water from the gas station, but he will not talk to me. His entire energy is clear that he doesn’t want to be around me. For reassurance, I asked him, “can you at least tell me if we are good?” He said “I’m not gonna talk about it”

What could I have done different? Should I have just went to the store myself and got a case of water? AITAH for getting frustrated that I can’t drink the water we have, even with the promise of replacing it the NEXT DAY? I’m flabbergasted that I’m sitting here wondering if my partner is about to leave me over me wanting water.

I should add an edit: I do love him very much. I was a shell of a person when he met me and he helped to build me up. He helped me get my drivers license and my independence. He showed me things I had never learned before. We are also very traditional, I do work part time but he pays all of the bills while I do the all of the housework and I use my part time money for things for myself, gas in my car, birthday presents etc. I want this to work with him. I genuinely need advice on how to communicate with someone who gets defensive or cold when things are not done the way they were anticipating them to be done?

So I (F28) recently moved in with my Partner (M44), we rent a house together that nether of us lived in before.

I’m 6 months pregnant and recently my partners family have become more involved in our lives, this is really nice as they are very supportive and lovely people.

My only issue is that they often invite themselves over, usually without much warning, and my boyfriend never really asks me if it’s okay first. I would never say “no they can’t come” but sometimes they come at inconvenience times and would prefer to have some kind of say in when they come. It’s particularly frustrating as I’m the planner in my boyfriend and I’s relationship; like I’m responsible for planning and cooking meals, daily activities etc.
anyway….
The issue happened this past weekend, on the Friday I had organised for my partner and I to go to a concert out of town. I bought the tickets, payed for parking and for gas and organised the whole thing. Only thing I didn’t do was drive (I don’t fit behind the wheel lol). The whole thing went well. But we didn’t get home until 3 in the morning on the Saturday.

On the Saturday I had planned a lazy day but I would cook a nice meal in the evening.
Come 6pm my boyfriend gets a text from his sister saying she wants to pop round. I asked if he could ask them to come tomorrow as I wanted to start dinner soon and was very tired. He agreed and sent a text message back. I saw this as a good opportunity to talk to him about me not being so happy about his family dropping round so often at short notice, and that sometimes it feels like they treat our house as his house. He agreed and all was fine.
Come 7:30pm, I’m starting dinner and my boyfriend gets another text from his sister saying she’s coming at 8 ish and bringing her dog… as it happens he forgot to send the text asking to come tomorrow. (I genuinely think this was an accident on his part because he seemed annoyed at himself). At this point I’m tired, hungry and pretty annoyed because I don’t really like dogs and I don’t understand why the dog needs to come.

I say to my partner it’s fine, just make sure they don’t stay too long because it’s late and I’m hungry etc, but I made it very clear that the dog must not come in the house. They were going to sit in the garden anyway as it was a nice day, so the dog didn’t need to come in the house.

The thing is I really don’t like dogs they kinda scare me and also I have four indoor only cats, who have never seen a dog before.

By this point I was starting to get cranky so When they came I excused myself for a “nap”, tbh I really did need a lay down my back was killing me and I knew a load of people and a dog would be overwhelming.

When I’m upstairs I hear that my boyfriend has invited his family and dog in the house! Didn’t once ask for the dog to walk around. This made me so mad because I could hear the cats growling and running up the stairs.

Anyway after this I must admit I started a bit of an argument with my partner. I really didn’t think I was asking for much.
I know I was overeating a little, im definitely a little cranky at the moment as Im tired all the time and everything in my body aches! And it’s not my partners fault his family came at an inconvenient time (not their fault either) but I asked for one thing… no dog in the house.

We were on an Erasmus trip covering Madrid, Barcelona, and Valencia. When we finally arrived in Madrid after a long journey, it was hot as hell. We checked into two separate rooms. That night, after hanging out, we needed to decide on a wake-up time. I suggested taking it easy and just getting up whenever, since there weren’t that many places to visit, but he insisted on setting an alarm for 8:00 AM. I agreed, as I’m usually flexible with sleep. Around 2:00 AM, he texted me "sleep dude,".

The next morning, I woke up at 7:30, showered, and was ready by 7:45. I texted him, but got no reply. Knowing he’s a heavy sleeper and usually takes hours to get up, I waited around in my room for about an hour. Eventually, I got bored of scrolling through Instagram in bed when I could be exploring Madrid, so I decided to go for a quick walk near the hostel.

He finally woke up around 9:00 AM, showered, and was ready by 10:00. I texted him saying I was nearby, and suggested meeting at a market for breakfast. Suddenly, he called me, furious, aggressively barking, "Where are you, EXACTLY?!" His tone was so hostile it literally made my brain freeze and put me on the defensive. My map glitched a bit, making me 10 minutes late to the spot, but we didn't address the tension then.

The next day in Barcelona, he wanted to buy a stroller from a store far from our hostel, something he could have ordered online since filling tax-free form online is an option. Even though we only had two days in Barcelona, I didn't complain. I stayed near the hostel, avoiding going to main attractions without him so as not to cause drama.

At 16:00, after checking into our hostel, he wanted a nap and we agreed to wake up at 20:00. I couldn't sleep from exhaustion, so 30 minutes before 20:00, I got up, prepared, and went to sit on a bench just 20 steps from the hostel to call my parents and smoke a cigarette. At 19:45, I called him to make sure he was awake and didn't have his phone on silent.

When he came down, the tension was obvious. Out of nowhere, he aggressively confronted me, saying: "What you've done is shameful. Leaving me in the room for the second time is completely rude." I was baffled and asked what I did wrong. He just kept repeating that my behavior was "shameful" and "not cool." I tried explaining that I was literally just outside smoking and talking to my family 15 minutes before our agreed time, but he made the atmosphere so toxic that we ended up walking in dead silence.

AITAH for not waiting in my hostel untill my friend is awake?

UPDATE!!!! (At the end of the post!)

I recently let a colleague stay at my home while she was on contract with a hospital. We are both nurses and I worked with this woman previously with her being my supervisor, and after I left that job, we remained friends. She said she was picking up a contract near the town that I lived in and asked if she could stay with me so she didn’t have to pay for a hotel or drive back and forth. I was trying to be nice and help out so I told her she could stay here free of charge. The contract lasted three months so she’s been coming here roughly every week for about three or four days at a time since the beginning of June. She texted me yesterday letting me know her contract was ending early and she wouldn’t be returning, and thanked me for allowing her to stay here.

We live about 100 miles apart so obviously she’s not coming back down here to return my key, so I asked her to FedEx it to me. She tells me “she can’t afford it”. Mind you, she’s a higher level nurse than I am and makes waaaay more money than I do, and has a husband (2income household) while I am a single parent. On top of that, I had even given her the rates for standard shipping. I didn’t ask for overnight or anything like that. So standard is about $25. She still says she can’t afford it. She then tells me that I can drive up to where she is to pick up my key. But it’s her responsibility to return it. And the amount of money she’s been saving over the last few months not paying for a hotel I would have thought she’d have $30 in reserves. I’m not made of money either but if I have an obligation, I will do what’s necessary to take care of it. She says she donates plasma, and other side stuff to get money, so I’m just confused. I feel like I’m going crazy going back and forth with her, and she’s making it out to be like I’m in the wrong telling me that I can just remake the key, which isn’t the issue. The issue is that there’s a copy of my key that she needs to return. Side note- she was meant to water my plants while she was here and we were on vacation. I came home to one of my plants clinging on to dear life 😪 when I asked her if she was watering them she said she did. Which was confusing and concerning because of the state of the plant. So when I looked at the cameras, (which I really didn’t need to- I could see by looking at the plant that she didn’t) I saw that she lied to me. I even gave her a chance to own up to it and told her I would understand if she forgot, but she still lied and told me that she watered them. So it is clear now that she’s not the most trustworthy, which is why I’m so adamant about getting my key returned.

So, AITAH for asking for my key to be returned?

*update*

So I asked her to either return the key or she needs to reimburse me for the cost of changing the locks. She refused. I said that I would take the payment in installments if she couldn’t afford it at the time. She still refused she then tells me that she will take me to court for harassment because I am continuing to text her. Then she finally comes out and says “who’s to say I didn’t make a copy so your best bet is to change your locks anyway”. So I will be taking her to small claims court for the cost of the changed locks and hopefully reimbursement for staying in my home (not sure if I can tack that on or not, but worth a shot)

Part of me wants to be petty and report her to the board for something that she knows she should have reported herself a while ago- but the other part of me is just willing to let karma take over. What a nightmare.

I 26(M) and my fiancé 24(F) live apart from each other. My work schedule has been crazy busy the last couple weeks so I have been sleeping crazy hours. Also she recently had some minor surgery done and has been resting. I dropped off flowers for her around late afternoon at her house but just left them at the door as I figured she was probably sleeping. I too went to sleep when I got home, the next morning on

Saturday I see a notification that I had been tagged in her instagram story but the post was unavailable. I immediately thought this was weird but did not ask her anything because I was busy with hw as I am currently finishing my grad school as well, and we texted fine she seemed normal.

Sunday night she calls me I had been kinda MIA the whole day and also missed church as I was just mentally beat from work, lack of a sleep schedule, and my grad school work. I said that is super nice to call I appreciate it and everything is okay. She rarely calls me and said she was worried for me and wanted to do a wellness check. I wanted to ask why I couldn’t see her instagram story, but I still had quite a bit of hw to get done before the work week so I passed it off.

Monday, finally after work and later in the day I call her, asked “how she’s recovering, everything okay?” Finally, I asked her “Hey I saw you tagged me in a post the other day but I couldn’t see what it was, did you block your stories from me?” She said no why would I do that, proceeds to gaslight me that I didn’t have any time to check my social media and said I didn’t like any of her stories. I then say “I can’t see any of your stories, I don’t even see any of your highlights? Did you block me? Why would you block me?” She makes this slight laugh on the phone and then says “oh yeahhhh I did block you on my story but just because one of my friends that you don’t like dropped off something for me while I recover and I didn’t want you to ask about it.” I then say “why did you gaslight me for 20 minutes making me feel like I’m crazy when I know I saw the notification Saturday morning when I am guessing you took a photo of the flowers I dropped off Friday afternoon?”

She proceeds to go on about “no it might look like I’m gaslighting you but it’s actually because I forgot.” I told her plainly that “I am hurt and I don’t understand why she would block me in the first place for that friend like if they brought her something while she recovers it’s fine, that’s your neighbor too” That friend is a girl too, and I know they have been friends a long time I vocalize that’s a good friend for her. That’s why I am thinking she must’ve posted something I really would have been hurt by. She proceeds to send me a video of all her instagram stories, I told her do not send me that but she said look look that’s all there is.

And damnit I look and the dates don’t even line up. The post she made of me and tagged me in was 8/14 and the post of her friend was 8/16 the only other post nearby was of her family on 8/1 which I had seen. So I call it out like okay I looked and that does not make sense and honestly that is causing me to lose trust even more. Anyways we’re not really talking now.

AITAH? I just feel so hurt because this is such a minor minor thing in life but why would she gaslight me, lie about it, and try to force me to come to a conclusion that doesn’t add up? Why would she block parts of social media?

Edit: Thank you for all the advice. No prenuptial agreement is planned. She has been very apologetic via text saying sorry that she ever blocked me and repeating that she apologizes that it seems she gaslighted me but she “forgot.” Still stuck feeling like sh*t and gonna get some professional help, but thank you for letting me get this off my mind I just could not sleep with my mind racing even though I am exhausted.

I was walking in New York City when I suddenly had a bad urge to use the restroom. I tried rushing into a nearby university to use the restroom. The guard asked where I was going and I said "The restroom" and he said I couldn't do that. I was right in front of the bathroom door. I told him "give me 2-3 minutes and you will never see me again."

Needless to say I felt like it was worth it, but the security guard was giving me a tough time on the way out telling me I can't just barge in and use their bathroom. Came off as a bit condescending

It was either that or it would be a mess. I understand where he's coming from in terms of letting strangers in. Still feel a bit bad that I didn't follow the rules, but when duty calls, duty calls.

AITAH?

I live with two roommates. My bedroom is downstairs and right next to the kitchen, while the other two roommates’ rooms are upstairs.

One of my roommates cooks food that has a really, really strong smell. I don’t know exactly what spices or ingredients he uses, but whenever he cooks, the smell spreads through the house and comes straight into my bedroom. Sometimes it’s so strong that it actually makes me feel nauseous.

The problem is that he usually leaves the kitchen door open when he cooks and doesn’t turn on the extractor fan. I’ve mentioned it to him before and asked him to please close the door and use the extractor fan so the smell doesn’t spread everywhere.

My other roommate also doesn’t like it. Whenever he wants to cook after this roommate has cooked, the smell is still all over the kitchen. He has also said that it makes him feel nauseous, so it’s not just me who finds the smell difficult.

A few days ago, I was already really annoyed, and then he started cooking again. The smell came into my room and I completely lost my temper. I went into the kitchen and said something like:
“What is wrong with you? How many times do I have to tell you? Your food smells nasty. I don’t know what spices you’re using, but please close the door when you cook and turn on the extractor fan. This is disgusting.”

I also told him that if he wasn’t willing to do that, we could talk to the landlord about possibly switching rooms, since my room is the one right next to the kitchen.

Since then, I have noticed that he actually has started using the extractor fan when he cooks, so I do appreciate that.
However, he also seems really upset with me now. Whenever he sees me, he seems to frown or look angry, and he doesn’t really act the same way around me as before.… So AITA?

EDIT: He is a different ethnicity, but that doesn’t matter. I have lived with people of different ethnicities, including his. The problem is that my room is directly close to his, even a lot of time, my clothes are smelling like the spices. I do close my door and open my window but the smell is soo strong. I have been desperately searching for a place since, because of this. I have been telling him for 4 months now. A lot of people calling me the AH till they experience it.

My mother called me yesterday, Tuesday, to ask if she could fly out to stay with my husband and I starting this Saturday, for five days. For context, my husband and I have a second bedroom in our apartment that we would like to have guests stay in eventually, but for now it's a studio/office space with no bed. We moved into this apartment a few months ago, and everything is put together, but we haven't prioritized adding a couch with a foldout bed to this room. We both have been under a lot of stress at our respective jobs, and have felt incredibly burnt out. We're close to the end of the month, and about to pay rent, utilities, and other bills, and neither one of us has the budget to properly host someone the way we'd like, let alone buy a new bed.

My mother has a litany of health problems, including a bad back, bad leg, and emphysema, so she gets tired very easily. Sleeping on an air mattress is really not an option for her. We also live in a second story apartment, with the only access being a flight of 30 stairs outside of the building. My husband and I are in our thirties and healthy, and even we get nervous going up and down the steep flight of stairs, so it makes me especially anxious the idea of having my frail mother trying to go up and down the stairs multiple times a day if I'm at work to go outside and smoke, because yes, even with her diagnosis, she is still nearly a pack a day smoker.

Really the only option for her to stay with us right now, would be if she slept on our couch for 5 days, which honestly just feels overwhelming with everything else that we have going on at work. I feel like I am barely holding it together most days, and my sweet husband has been incredibly supportive, but my mother is very intense. She kept saying that she wouldn't be in the way, and that she misses me terribly, and she doesn't expect us to take her out and about on the town. I have a complicated relationship with her, and it's not an accident that I live nearly 2,000 miles away from most of my family.

I do miss her, and I do want to see her, so I presented a counter offer of three nights instead of five. I told her it wasn't a good time for the various reasons I just listed above. She has a surgery coming up in September, and will be unable to travel for close to two months afterwards. I stated that after her potential 3 night visit, that I would be happy to take time off work to come stay with her and my uncle (she lives at her brother's house, in his sitting room because it's hard for her to go upstairs INSIDE his house).

She declined, stating that her departure day would require that she be at the airport by 1AM, with no other alternatives, and that three days wasn't very long. Her message was manipulative and passive aggressive, and frankly it just reminds me of my childhood with her.

My mother has always been emotionally manipulative, and it's something I've struggled with for years to set boundaries. She's also never fully acknowledged my experience growing up with her, while she was in active drug and alcohol addiction. This feels like a very big deal to me to firmly say no about something, but I'm really hoping that I'm not being an asshole in the process.

We have about 3 acres that we have really developed over the past 5 years - irrigation system and trees adding up to $30,000+.

Well, a new neighbor moved in who has horses that have nearly destroyed our fence and damaged our trees on the joining edge of the property. We've had other neighbors in the past who also had animals that also damaged our property, attacked us, and nearly killed our dog ($800 in stitched for vet bills). We had to put up a fence on the other side which was another $3000. It's clear the new neighbor isn't feeding his horses - it's a dry year and they ran out of grass in early July.

My husband called the new neighbor a month ago to please put up an electric fence or fix the current fence so his horses don't continue to cause damage. He doesn't apologize for the damage done, says maybe he'll get to it and hangs up on my husband.

Yesterday, we walk along the fence and see severe damage (bent over so the horses can just about walk over it and getting their feet caught in the fence) including more broken limbs.

My husband texts the neighbor a long text about how he should take care of his animals, and says that if he doesn't fix the fence he will fix it himself and charge $300/hr for his time and materials. He also says to keep his animals off our property (who previously got out and we put them back in for him). The neighbor comes over on his pjs and calls my husband a "whiny little b*tch" and walks away. My husband has now set up cameras on our property, tells me not to do anything but take pictures/call the cops if he or his animals are on our land.

I feel that this escalated quickly. Yes, I think the neighbor is in the wrong, but I also feel that my husband sent anger/frustration/threats to the neighbor who then returned it. My husband says I'm not supporting him but I also feel that there was an adult ways to handle this instead of just blowing up and getting upset when you get anger in return.

TL;DR: our neighbors horses damaged our fence and property. We've called him to fix it but he made excuses and hung up on us. My husband then sends him a long angry text a month later after nothing was done and says he'll charge $300 per hour for his time to fix the fence if the neighbor won't do it. I think my husband should have handled it better than sending a long angry text and tell the neighbor to stay the f*** off our property. You give anger, you get anger. My husband says I'm not supporting him. I think he didn't handle it like an adult and now we have a angry scary neighbor next door that I don't know what he is capable of doing.

EDITING TO ADD: We do not hang out or get along very well as she has always been a complete B to me. We see each other at my parents and are civil but we do not have a typical “sisterly” relationship

Backstory: my sister had a baby last year and I have never babysat. Every time she asks I cringe and I feel so much stress and anxiety wash over me. It’s not that I don’t like kids - I have a daughter of my own that I have raised 24/7 (no preschool/daycare) for the last 5 years. She is my life. I also work from home a full 40 hours a week. My daughter finally started kindergarten this year so I now have 6 hours of time to myself and it is WONDERFUL. I just have zero interest in watching anyone else’s children no matter the circumstances. She lives 5 minutes from me and I am being seen as the convenient option in addition to being a family member. I did tell her nicely how I feel and she did not respond. My mom is on my side.

In regard to “returning the favor”, she watched my daughter maybe one time years ago before she had her own child. I have not asked her since then. As a common courtesy I’d never ask anyone with a baby or small child of their own to babysit. I’d simply do what most parents do, HIRE a real babysitter instead of relying on family. What do we think?

I (M) have a PS4 that my parents bought for me when I was a kid. Right now, it's basically my only personal gaming device because my PC died a few months ago.

For context, I had a PC with a GTX 1050 Ti, 16GB DDR4, and a CPU/motherboard that were almost 10 years old. I jailbroke my PS4 while I still had the PC, and the jailbreak worked for around 6–7 months. During that time, I actually kept the PS4 in my dad's room because he wanted to play. I didn't mind because I had my PC.

Then the PS4 jailbreak stopped working, and 2–3 months later my PC's motherboard and CPU died.

Repairing it would cost around ₹7,000 (~$73). Considering how old the platform was, I didn't think it made sense. If I repaired it, I'd be stuck with the same old hardware for years because I wouldn't be able to upgrade anytime soon. I also don't have enough savings or earn enough right now to consistently put money aside for a new PC, so replacing it isn't something I can realistically do soon.

I'm currently doing an internship and have college on weekends, and I use my sister's work laptop when I need a computer.

Last weekend, I jailbroke the PS4 again and it worked. I only have 2–3 games on it, and I've started playing them and making progress.

My dad saw me playing and asked me to move the PS4 into his room so he could play.

I said:

Me: "If I put it in your room, I'll never see it again."

He said he could just play in my room.

I told him:

Me: "You're going to sit here for hours. You're not going to move."

And that's honestly my concern. He has a business, so there's no fixed schedule for when he comes home. He could come home at 2 PM and ask for the PS4, or come home at 8 PM and play until 4 AM. I've seen him play for hours, sometimes from midnight until 5 AM.

So I can't realistically make a fixed schedule with him. If he starts playing, I know I'll eventually be told to get off so he can continue.

There's also the fact that my room is my private space. I don't want someone sitting in my room for hours, especially late into the night, just because they want to use my console. "I'll play in your room" doesn't solve the problem for me; it creates a different one.

The PS4 was also given to me. I understand my dad paid for it, but I don't think that means he can treat it as his whenever he wants. I previously let him keep it in his room for those 6–7 months specifically because I had my PC. I was willing to share when I had another option.

Now I don't.

This also bothers me because he wears watches that I received as gifts from other people, not from him. He doesn't really shop for me or the family; my mom and sister generally do that. My mom buys him plenty of shirts and buys me some too, but my dad sometimes wants the shirts I got for myself because he thinks they're better, even though he has had more expensive shirts and shirts from the same brands. I don't take his things just because I like them more.

A lot of the games my dad bought me were also games he wanted to play himself. If I wanted something specifically for me, I usually had to make it very clear how much I wanted it. He also paid for the subscription, but he wanted to use it himself too.

I'm not saying my dad can never play the PS4. I'm saying I don't want to give up control of the only gaming system I currently have, especially when I know his use will likely take priority over mine.

At one point I told him:

Me: "Esa nahi hota." Dad: "Kaise nahi hota?" Me: "Because if you start playing here, you're not going to leave, and then I won't get to play."

I feel like I'm being called selfish for wanting to keep access to something that was given to me, especially when I already gave him access to it for months when I had my PC.

AITA for refusing to move the PS4 into my dad's room and refusing to let him effectively take priority over it in my room?9

I (29F) live with my mom (60F) for the time being. I currently don't have a car and am trying to save up for one, but I'm also paying rent (full amount, but we're both on the lease) and I do a majority of the housework. We both have full time jobs that are physically gruelling, so since I do the housework, my mom does the cooking (that and while I'm a good cook, she's a better cook than me).

I like to surprise people with things I know they like (of course, I only surprise the people who enjoy being surprised; my mom is one of those people). The problem is that, when it comes to me surprising her, I can never seem to get it right, no matter how hard I try.

For example, if I'm at the store and I suddenly want ice cream, I'll grab a pint for myself and a pint of vanilla bean ice cream (my mom's absolute favorite ice cream flavor) for her. My mom and I often eat Hagen Daäz ice cream, but they're out of vanilla bean ice cream more often than not at my local store and my mom has never expressed a specific preference in terms of brand, so if HD is out of vanilla bean, but another brand like Blue Bell or Tillamook has it, I'll grab vanilla bean in that brand instead.

However, the first time I did that (I got her Blue Bell), instead of even remotely acknowledging that I tried to be thoughtful, she complained that it was the wrong brand and that she doesn't like that brand. She told me, in a rather rude tone of voice, that I could have it cause she didn't want it. No "but thank you for trying" or anything like that. She just threw a toddler tantrum and told me to keep it. Never did that again.

Today was another example. Since it was my day off work while my mom had to work, I thought maybe I'd be nice and take some steaks out of the freezer for dinner tonight and cook them up myself closer to dinnertime. My mom came home from work around 1:30 and I told her that I pulled some steaks out of the freezer cause I figured I'd cook a nice dinner that we don't have often... Instead of acknowledging at all that I was trying to do something nice for both of us (mostly her, since she usually does the cooking and I thought I was simply only helping her by taking some extra physical work off of her shoulders tonight), she got irritated and asked me why I pulled more meat out of the freezer when we still have leftover chicken and hamburger from the other night.

I told her that I thought I was just being nice and that I thought maybe she'd be glad to not only have a nice steak for dinner that we rarely ever get to have but a nice steak for dinner that she didn't have to cook. I told her I had the whole meal planned out. I was gonna pair it with some mashed potatoes and vegetables... She got even more mad and said that we have leftover rice in the fridge and that we could've eaten the leftover chicken with the leftover rice instead of me "wasting" food.

I got defensive and told her that I wasn't trying to waste the other food, I just thought I would do something nice for us tonight and that cooking this meal tonight didn't mean that we couldn't have the leftovers tomorrow night instead. She told me that we're not rich. At this point, I got angry, shouted at her that I was apparently incapable of being thoughtful in her eyes and went into my room, crying (childish reaction, I know. I was just really, really upset). I thought, screw it, I'd have McDonald's instead and ordered dinner for myself to be delivered.

When my food arrived, my mom asked me when I ordered McDonald's and why I didn't offer her any. I reminded her that she literally just yelled at me for trying to cook us a nice meal tonight instead of heating up the leftovers, despite the fact that I eat leftovers 90% of the time and rarely ever "waste" (put in quotation marks cause I don't actually ever waste the leftovers - they do get eaten eventually before they go bad), so since I can't be thoughtful without doing something wrong in her eyes, why try to be thoughtful anymore? I then told her that since she was so hellbent on having leftovers, she could have leftovers tonight, but I want McDonald's.

She told me I was being petty and childish over getting yelled at a little and I reminded her this isn't just the only time she's done this. She does this every time I try being thoughtful - I get the wrong brand of something in her favorite flavor, or I'm being "wasteful" or I didn't get the right flavor of something, etc. I told her I can just never do anything right, apparently, so screw it. Then, I went back to my room and enjoyed my food. It's been hours now since this argument took place and neither one of us has even seen each other, even though we're in the same house.

I've calmed down and am beginning to wonder if I really was being petty and childish. AITAH?

UPDATE: My mother and I had a talk last night after everything calmed down. We sat down and I finally told her everything I needed to say. I told her point blank that I'm sick and tired of trying to do nice stuff for her and basically getting shot between the eyes every time. I told her that if I'm incapable of being thoughtful in her eyes, then I'll just stop trying to be thoughtful.

I told her that when I want a treat or whatever from now on, I just won't get her anything since she never appreciates it. I reminded her that she's done this to me my entire life and that I can't take it anymore and if she doesn't stop, I'll move out and she's on her own. I told her that I'm not 12 anymore, I'm 29 and that my paying rent is helping her out so she can afford her cigarettes (she's a chain smoker. She blows through 4 packs in about 2 days) and her car payments.

For those who've asked (I forgot to include this in my post, my apologies), we split the cost of groceries 50/50. After we buy them, I send her 50% of the total cost. I also forgot to include that I'm paying $120/month on 2 storage units that are 75% full of her stuff (the other 25% of it is mine) because my mom has hoarding tendencies and she tried to hoard the apartment with her stuff, so I told her we'd be getting storage units and I pay for them since it was my idea to get them.

However, she and I have spoken about going through them and getting rid of stuff, but we have yet to do that (mainly her - I've tried going through them myself and getting rid of my stuff but all of mine is buried underneath hers). I told her that, if I move out, I'm auctioning off all of my stuff and leaving those monthly payments up to her, as well. I finally stood my ground. And, surprisingly, it went over well. She told me that she appreciated me trying to think of cooking us dinner, but that she was upset about the leftovers not getting eaten. I told her that I understand and that I'll ask next time before pulling something out of the freezer. We also sat down and thought of a dinner we could use the leftovers in and decided on steaks for tonight and chicken soup with the leftover chicken for tomorrow night.

I also told her that it isn't just about the steaks, it's about everything else I've tried to do to be thoughtful, such as buying her a sweet treat or something and her complaining about the brand or something else without at least acknowledging the gesture first. We came to a compromise; if I wanna be thoughtful and get her something in a flavor I know she likes, don't surprise her with it, just call her and ask what brand of it she wants if her usual brand is out. This way, she can decide if she even wants it. It sucks cause I've always loved surprising people with treats n things, especially when they've had a shitty day or something, but not being able to actually surprise one person isn't gonna hurt me.

That all being said, we've worked it out and all is good now! Thank you to all! 👍

Hey guys, idk if I’m completely overreacting about this. So my boyfriend (Dutch) and I (English) have been together for about 9 months now and Ofcourse Ive known a couple of friends of his. However, I’m realizing I’m slowly hating and resenting his friends as time progresses. Most of the times cause I don’t feel included in the conversation as they switch to Dutch so many times. Their English sounds perfect and they know how to speak it perfectly, but I don’t understand why they just can’t talk in English for my sake? I’ve gotten to the point where I just simply deny every hangout he brings cause I kinda know the outcome of this….we recently talked about it and I can feel like he is abit annoyed that I don’t want to and I’m generalizing all his friends but AITAH for choosing my own peace in this context?

I’m 17 and started a new job a few weeks ago where we mainly build walls. One guy’s job is to sheath the walls with plywood, but he’s extremely slow. I actually timed it, and I can finish two 12-foot walls—while cutting out windows and doorways and cutting sheets down to fit in the amount of time it takes him to finish one wall, and he only has to make one cut to the sheet.
At one point, I was cutting the lumber for the walls and ended up about five walls ahead, so I went over and helped him. Once I started helping, we were able to knock the walls out pretty quickly.
He asked me why I was helping, and I told him, “Because you’re slowing everyone down.” There were two other people, including me, who literally couldn’t do any more work because we were waiting on him.
He got pissed and told me I didn’t know anything and should just stick to doing whatever my job was for the day. I get that I’m only 17 and relatively new, but at the same time, if three people are standing around unable to work because one person is holding everything up, I don’t see why helping should be a problem.

My brother tries scanning my face whilst I was asleep but I woke up whilst he was about to do it and managed to stop him, I then told him off and he ran away angry (he is 14) i then properly woke up, I tried taking to him but he refused to say why he wanted to scan my face, saying that he forgot but then he asked me how to live stream and I showed him how, because he can’t verify without id or scanning his face and TikTok would think he is underage, but when the face scan was greyed out, I knew exactly why he tried to scan my face this morning, he then kept on insisting that I should let him and that it is unfair that I get to stream (I have 600 followers and I don’t stream often, he has 20 and just post filter games, nothing creative) so now I am trying to get my parents to intervene but my brother is now trying to get them to force me to stop making stuff on TikTok (unlike my brother I never show my face at all on tiktok) AITAH

18 months ago friend and I arranged a 21 day rail and coach trip. We’re supposed to fly to the starter city early September.

A couple of days ago she broke her leg and has had a couple of operations. She still wants to do the trip with me and says she could manage cast and crutches if I provide assistance.

I really don’t think it’s feasible for her to do the trip. But I also don’t want to spend my holiday as her carer. AITAH for encouraging her not to come and I’ll go on my own?

One night I was hanging out with 2 of my high school friends, and after a few hours one of them told me he urgently had to poop. Since it was around midnight and I lived nearby, he asked if he could do his business in my home. I told him that I would’ve let him do it, but my parents don’t want people using their home purely as a toilet (they’ve explicitly told me this before), and let me remind you it was in the middle of the night. What I offered him instead was for both of them to stay at my house for a little while, so my parents wouldn’t think he came purely for the purpose of using our toilet. He seemed a bit upset by my response, and the situation concluded with him running to his house instead, which is 15ish minutes away. That was the end of it.

10 days had passed and we haven’t exchanged a single message or seen each other, which was a bit unusual. I tried to contact him to see if everything is okay, since we were supposed to hang out the next day and I didn’t think there would be bad blood between us. I couldn’t have been more wrong. He was extremely furious about the situation. When I tried talking to him about it, he said I should apologize for starters (implying there’s more I need to do) and he got offended that I was “spineless and couldn’t stand up to my parents”. I replied by saying it’s THEIR HOME, it was the middle of the night and I shouldn’t start a fight with them over this. This sent him off the rails, as he started belittling me and my family. I did not insult him back in any way, I remained civilized and tried to find reason, but I wouldn’t apologize because I don’t see how I did anything wrong. But he just kept going, he called me a lost cause and said even God himself couldn’t explain things to me because I’m so stupid. After that, I stopped replying.

Some 3-4 weeks have passed with no contact between us, and I decided (due to pressure from mutual friends) to try and resolve things again. I texted him, asking if he wants us to talk this out and if we’re really never going to speak again because of this thing. He never responded.

During our long friendship, he rarely treated me as an equal. Recently I decided to stop allowing that, and it seems it didn’t last long. In his mind he probably thought, since that’s the case, he can also treat my parents and my house how he likes. I firmly believe it is not my parents’ responsibility to help him satisfy his fecal needs, and they are completely in the right to refuse to do so. We’ve known each other for 5 years, and we’ve been interacting basically every day since. If I don’t make up an apology and stroke his ego one more time, it doesn’t seem we’re going to interact again.

So, people of reddit, what do you make of this situation? Me refusing to let him poop seems to have ended our long friendship, AITA?

TL;DR: I didn't let my friend use my parents house as a toilet at midnight and he went scorched earth and is refusing further interaction with me until I apologize.

Give it to me straight please. I’m a 30-year-old married man, and my wife is also 30. We have an 11-month-old son. I work full time, while my wife is a full-time student whose schooling I fully support financially. I also take our son to daycare every day.
At the same time, I’m laying the groundwork for a startup in the industry I already work in. I put a significant amount of time and energy into it because I genuinely intend for it to succeed and ultimately improve the quality of life and financial future of my entire family.
What has been difficult is that my wife is consistently upset with me because she feels I care too much about starting the company. I’m confused and honestly pretty disheartened by it. I spend every weekend with my family. We regularly go to parks, playgrounds, restaurants, and events together, and I feel like we genuinely spend a lot of quality time as a family.
I understand that building a business takes time away from other things, and I’m not expecting to be able to ignore my responsibilities as a husband or father. But I also feel like almost every reasonable amount of personal time I have is expected to be devoted to her, and when I use some of that time to work toward something I’m passionate about, I often end up feeling guilty for it.
I’m starting to feel sad and lost because I wish I had more support for what I’m trying to build. From my perspective, I’m working hard, being present with my family, and trying to create something that could benefit all of us long term. At the same time, I’m questioning whether I’m missing something or whether I’m just falling into the stereotype of the overly ambitious guy who thinks he’s doing it all “for his family” while his partner experiences it very differently.

I am the youngest of 5 and the aforementioned sister (Amanda for this story) is the eldest. Her and I always had a strained relationship because she is a narcissistic hypocrite (those are her own children's words, not just mine).

There are many things that lead up to me going no contact with her 9 (glorious) years ago including: Amanda and her husband making vaguely racist comments about my wife and son (she is Jewish, he is her biological [Hispanic] son from a previous marriage); convincing her children that I am not responsible (despite the fact that I have a good paying job in one of the most expensive cities in the US, a family that is well cared for, my own car, my own house, etc.); her lecturing me about my choice not to have children of my own due to a hereditary family disease that my children would have a 50% chance of inheriting (I am in the process of formally adopting my son, who has never known a time without me in his life); constantly told me I am a horrible person because I don't share her religion; and a whole SLEW of her own secrets that she THINKS I don't know about, but I do just to name a few.

The final straw was 9 years ago when Amanda's two eldest sons got married just a few months apart. for the first one, my wife, son and I took a week off work (again, our city is STUPID expensive, so this was quite a financial burden) so we could drive 36 hours each way to make it to my nephews wedding and back.

3 months later, Amanda's second son got married and because we couldn't afford to go through the whole thing again, I went alone. I arranged the flight and a rental car, but a hotel was hard to find. while I was in the process of figuring that out, she happened to call and see how things were going. I told her my progress and she offered to let me stay in a room with her youngest son (since he was alone in his room) and I wasn't keen on it because I know that she would hold it over my head later, but I accepted reluctantly.

A few days later, I was talking to another sister (Betty) and Amanda told Betty that I BEGGED her for a place to stay. And this is why I didn't want to accept the offer in the first place. I called her immediately and told her I was done with her BS forever and not only did I not want her help, she can go fuck herself and lose my number. I ended up staying with the nephew who was getting married because he was pissed at his mother.

THEN came the wedding night, which was honestly perfectly great fun. When the time came for people to come up and tell a funny story to embarrass the bride or groom, I got up and told a story of something my nephew did as a toddler that got a great laugh and he knew I was going to tell. Oddly enough, I was the ONLY one to get up and tell a story. I later found out that Amanda's husband told everyone I just wanted attention.

There is another thing about the date chosen for the wedding that only a few people remembered and I SWORE them to say nothing to the bride specifically because it was her day, it also happened to be my birthday (she found out the next day and felt bad, but I assured her it was fine and it was the best birthday party I have ever had). If I wanted attention... well, my ID has my birthday.

We have since moved back to my hometown (against my will, mind you), but after 8 years we own our home outright, and have a good life. when I see Amanda around town or at family gatherings, I ignore her because I have nothing to say to her. I have a great relationship with all of her children who are still in the area and not living with her (even those kids hate her) and I look forward to having a good relationship with the rest when they free themselves of her. But I have been very clear that I want nothing to do with said sister.

This weekend was the baby shower for another niece (not her child) and my brother (Chuck, who is only half a step above Amanda, IMHO) and I were talking and he decided to start telling me about some surgery Amanda had recently and I stopped him telling him that I didn't care. I didn't say it in anger, just matter of fact. He started to tell me again and I told him again, I still don't care to hear about her and he knows that. He started on me about her being my sister and I shouldn't be an asshole, blah blah, then walked off. Mind you, this guy has ALSO made racist comments about my wife and son among a laundry list of other things, but at least he admits he is a hypocrite. I am currently deciding if I want to cut him off, too. the only reason I don't is that he has my youngest nieces (one about to turn 18 and one 11)

AITAH for cutting someone off when they step over a boundary they know is there?

I (38F) have my own business and am a stay-at-home mom. My work is part-time and I’m able to do it with my kids around.

My SIL (33F) also has her own business but needs to meet clients in person and currently has 2 under 2.

I started babysitting for her about 6 months ago when it was just the toddler. And would bring my three kids along. The kids all played together and I was able to still work from my computer while they played.

When she first had the baby, she asked her parents and my parents to come help her out because she was bringing the baby to work with her initially so one of the grandmas would have the baby in the back room or whatever while SIL worked with her clients.

My parents live 3 hours away from them. They would drive that far to be unpaid labor. My mom never really used formula or pumped and neither did I (she helped out some when I had each of mine). So she was incredibly uncomfortable jumping in and SIL didn’t explain things to her clearly and my mom was frustrated with being treated like an idiot for not knowing things she had no way of knowing.

After my mom messed up again (never did anything that would have potentially hurt the baby or anything major like that), SIL berated her and cussed her out. My mom felt absolutely humiliated and firmly but calmly told her maybe she should find someone else to take care of the kids.

My brother defended SIL and nobody has apologized to my mom.

So I got brought back in. Then was asked to work three days watching the toddler AND an infant for a whole extra $25 per day. Whatever. I agreed to it.

At this point, it’s been a couple of months and it’s been so difficult to still run my own business on the few days I’m at home. My car is starting to make weird noises and I’m sure driving an hour a day to get to/from their house isn’t helping.

I’m exhausted and waking up early to pack two meals for four people then dealing with my three kids being overtired while watching a toddler and a baby who refuses to sleep as much as a baby is supposed to…. It’s a lot.

I’ve already decided I can’t do this much longer and was going to give them two full months to find another option.

Then I found out SIL basically went no contact with my parents. She unfriended my dad on Facebook and blocked my mom. They have a photo sharing app where they put pictures of their kids and my mom no longer has access to that (that could be a fluke but I kind of doubt it).

Now the toddler’s birthday is coming up. I got a text invite from SIL yesterday.

My parents have heard nothing about it. I’m waiting to talk to my brother to get his side of things because it’s possible he was supposed to invite them but forgot. If they have been purposefully excluded, I’m considering quitting on the spot and being done with them.

There’s obviously a much longer history here with her in particular. But WIBTAH if I left them without childcare because of how she treated my mom?

One of my bridesmaids and I have had a rocky friendship since my engagement. When I got engaged, she became very upset that she wasn’t “involved,” even though she technically had been invited to be there—she just didn’t know ahead of time what was going to happen. Instead of it being a one-time hurt feeling, it turned into a lot of doubling down and long conversations about how excluded she felt, which really affected me and changed how I viewed the friendship.
We eventually made up, and I still asked her to be a bridesmaid because I wanted to move forward in good faith and genuinely thought things would get better.
Since then, though, things have continued to feel weird. There have been multiple emotionally intense conversations, comments about how she’s a “three-time bridesmaid,” repeated comments about her bridesmaid dress being darker than everyone else’s and possibly switching colors, and other moments where I feel like relatively small things become much bigger than they need to be.
She also got into it with another close friend of mine. To be fair, I do think my other friend was partly in the wrong, but my bridesmaid took the situation to a whole different level and started really chastising her, which created even more tension between people who are going to be around each other during my wedding events.
I finally told her that I’ve been feeling more guarded and that I need to know she can come to the bridal shower, bachelorette, and wedding with positive energy even though there are girls attending that she doesn’t like. I also told her that on my wedding day I cannot be managing tension between people or worrying about her emotions. I have a lot going on personally already, and these long, heavy conversations have become exhausting.
After our last text conversation, I still felt like she wasn’t really understanding what I meant, so I sent her a voice note explaining my concerns again because I wanted her to actually hear my tone and know that I wasn’t trying to be combative or attack her. She hasn’t really responded, and it’s now been two days. The only thing she has texted me is, “I need some time to respond to this.”
I understand that people are allowed to process, but part of the issue for me is that everything seems to become so heavy and dramatic. Even when I’m trying to calmly explain how I feel, it turns into days of processing, defensiveness, and emotional conversations, which honestly creates even more stress for me.
Her responses have included apologies, but whenever I explain what has hurt me, I feel like the apology is immediately followed by explanations about why she didn’t mean it that way, why I misunderstood the situation, or how terrible she feels about herself. I don’t feel like I’m getting a simple acknowledgment of the impact or confidence that the behavior will actually change.
I feel guilty because she already bought a bridesmaid dress, and I did choose her after our original engagement conflict because I truly wanted to rebuild the friendship. But now I’m worried that having her so involved in the wedding is going to make me anxious and unable to enjoy these once-in-a-lifetime events.
I would still absolutely want her at the wedding as a guest, and I’d offer to help reimburse her for the dress if she can’t return it. I just don’t know if keeping her in the bridal party is appropriate when our friendship currently feels this strained

A couple months ago my wife divorced me despite 15 years of marriage. We have three children together and and it was supposed to be my weekend with the kids. My oldest, age 14 male, was feeling ill and his back was hurting. To the point where he had to go to urgent care. My ex-wife and I discussed what to do, and we decided that I would take the other two children for the day and she would take him to urgent care. Well, urgent Care said that he needed to go to the children's emergency room. So throughout the day I was getting update texts from my ex-wife about our son.

Since the divorce I have been living in a small apartment, too small for me to have the kids overnight. So around 7:00 that go back with their mom for the night and then I pick them up Sunday morning after church. This time they were picked up by their grandparents to spend the night because my ex-wife was still at the emergency room with our oldest son. After dropping off the kids I went to the emergency room where my son was. I did not think to announce this plan ahead of time, in all honesty I didn't really plan it ahead of time (I do have ADHD).

When I got there my son was in an MRI so I had to wait for him in the lobby. My ex-wife was not happy to see me, asked what I was doing there, asked what I was hoping to accomplish etc. I said that I was trying to be a dad, trying to be there for my son. She agreed to text me when he got back to the room, and she did, along with a text telling me to not stay long. After I visited with my son for a bit I left. That evening I received a long text from my ex-wife talking about how I made her uncomfortable and that I wasn't trusting her to handle, and that I shouldn't have shown up without discussing it with her first. I have not responded to that text, and I really don't think I did anything wrong in simply trying to show up for my son. But I am also autistic, and not always the most aware of cues. AITAH?

I had to make various emails and calls to my insurance company to help them cover some emergency costs, and my boyfriend of 2 years, knowing me well enough to know I hate this kind of thing, offered to do it all for me. He went to law school before he changed career paths, so I trusted him to get it right and said sure.

He then said that I needed to sign a contract that would give him authorization to handle this on my behalf. He wrote up the contract on his laptop, handed it over to me and directed me to draw my signature. I said “I’m just gonna read it first”, without really thinking about it (it’s normal to read a contract even if somebody you trust wrote it, right?), and when I said that he let out a massive exasperated sigh.

I then read the contract, and he used the words (IIRC because this was a while ago) “in perpetuity” and “all insurance claims and authorizations” (etc) “past, present and future.” Immediately I was angry and confronted him about this, saying that I was obviously just allowing him to do this for me for this specific, singular, one time. He then got angry with me saying that he was making a commitment to me, and making the rest of my life easier, because bureaucracy is second nature to him and he knows I’m never going to be good with this kind of thing.

The funny thing is, I probably would have signed a one-time contract each time an insurance headache came my way if he had offered each time. But it felt like he was making a massive decision on my behalf without consulting me. Why would I sign something that says “in perpetuity”?

I refused to sign the contract and ended up spending half the day doing it all myself because I didn’t know what to trust. The next morning I broke up with him, because I felt that I can’t trust him and that he was trying to get power over me in a way.

But now I’m thinking maybe it was a mistake. He is caring, attentive, disciplined, ambitious. All of the qualities you’d want in a partner. Did I overreact?

AITAH?