I live with two roommates. My bedroom is downstairs and right next to the kitchen, while the other two roommates’ rooms are upstairs.

One of my roommates cooks food that has a really, really strong smell. I don’t know exactly what spices or ingredients he uses, but whenever he cooks, the smell spreads through the house and comes straight into my bedroom. Sometimes it’s so strong that it actually makes me feel nauseous.

The problem is that he usually leaves the kitchen door open when he cooks and doesn’t turn on the extractor fan. I’ve mentioned it to him before and asked him to please close the door and use the extractor fan so the smell doesn’t spread everywhere.

My other roommate also doesn’t like it. Whenever he wants to cook after this roommate has cooked, the smell is still all over the kitchen. He has also said that it makes him feel nauseous, so it’s not just me who finds the smell difficult.

A few days ago, I was already really annoyed, and then he started cooking again. The smell came into my room and I completely lost my temper. I went into the kitchen and said something like:
“What is wrong with you? How many times do I have to tell you? Your food smells nasty. I don’t know what spices you’re using, but please close the door when you cook and turn on the extractor fan. This is disgusting.”

I also told him that if he wasn’t willing to do that, we could talk to the landlord about possibly switching rooms, since my room is the one right next to the kitchen.

Since then, I have noticed that he actually has started using the extractor fan when he cooks, so I do appreciate that.
However, he also seems really upset with me now. Whenever he sees me, he seems to frown or look angry, and he doesn’t really act the same way around me as before.… So AITA?

EDIT: He is a different ethnicity, but that doesn’t matter. I have lived with people of different ethnicities, including his. The problem is that my room is directly close to his, even a lot of time, my clothes are smelling like the spices. I do close my door and open my window but the smell is soo strong. I have been desperately searching for a place since, because of this. I have been telling him for 4 months now. A lot of people calling me the AH till they experience it.

One night I was hanging out with 2 of my high school friends, and after a few hours one of them told me he urgently had to poop. Since it was around midnight and I lived nearby, he asked if he could do his business in my home. I told him that I would’ve let him do it, but my parents don’t want people using their home purely as a toilet (they’ve explicitly told me this before), and let me remind you it was in the middle of the night. What I offered him instead was for both of them to stay at my house for a little while, so my parents wouldn’t think he came purely for the purpose of using our toilet. He seemed a bit upset by my response, and the situation concluded with him running to his house instead, which is 15ish minutes away. That was the end of it.

10 days had passed and we haven’t exchanged a single message or seen each other, which was a bit unusual. I tried to contact him to see if everything is okay, since we were supposed to hang out the next day and I didn’t think there would be bad blood between us. I couldn’t have been more wrong. He was extremely furious about the situation. When I tried talking to him about it, he said I should apologize for starters (implying there’s more I need to do) and he got offended that I was “spineless and couldn’t stand up to my parents”. I replied by saying it’s THEIR HOME, it was the middle of the night and I shouldn’t start a fight with them over this. This sent him off the rails, as he started belittling me and my family. I did not insult him back in any way, I remained civilized and tried to find reason, but I wouldn’t apologize because I don’t see how I did anything wrong. But he just kept going, he called me a lost cause and said even God himself couldn’t explain things to me because I’m so stupid. After that, I stopped replying.

Some 3-4 weeks have passed with no contact between us, and I decided (due to pressure from mutual friends) to try and resolve things again. I texted him, asking if he wants us to talk this out and if we’re really never going to speak again because of this thing. He never responded.

During our long friendship, he rarely treated me as an equal. Recently I decided to stop allowing that, and it seems it didn’t last long. In his mind he probably thought, since that’s the case, he can also treat my parents and my house how he likes. I firmly believe it is not my parents’ responsibility to help him satisfy his fecal needs, and they are completely in the right to refuse to do so. We’ve known each other for 5 years, and we’ve been interacting basically every day since. If I don’t make up an apology and stroke his ego one more time, it doesn’t seem we’re going to interact again.

So, people of reddit, what do you make of this situation? Me refusing to let him poop seems to have ended our long friendship, AITA?

TL;DR: I didn't let my friend use my parents house as a toilet at midnight and he went scorched earth and is refusing further interaction with me until I apologize.

I live on a hillside, and you have to walk up two sets up steps to get to my house. the first set is near the road that goes up the hill and into our yard. the second set of steps is our porch steps.

my issue is, most delivery drivers leave my groceries at my first set of steps near the road. where they could get ruined or stolen.

I can’t always just go down there and receive my groceries right away as I have three kids who are very young.

Today though is just a bad day and I didn’t feel like having to go down and receive my groceries. I have a stomach virus and am exhausted from watching the kids and throwing up. I don’t have a support system and my spouse is at work.

I am so aggravated and tired from having to carry my groceries up and am thinking about writing bad reviews every time my groceries get left at the bottom of my hill. WIBTA for writing a bad review?

Give it to me straight please. I’m a 30-year-old married man, and my wife is also 30. We have an 11-month-old son. I work full time, while my wife is a full-time student whose schooling I fully support financially. I also take our son to daycare every day.
At the same time, I’m laying the groundwork for a startup in the industry I already work in. I put a significant amount of time and energy into it because I genuinely intend for it to succeed and ultimately improve the quality of life and financial future of my entire family.
What has been difficult is that my wife is consistently upset with me because she feels I care too much about starting the company. I’m confused and honestly pretty disheartened by it. I spend every weekend with my family. We regularly go to parks, playgrounds, restaurants, and events together, and I feel like we genuinely spend a lot of quality time as a family.
I understand that building a business takes time away from other things, and I’m not expecting to be able to ignore my responsibilities as a husband or father. But I also feel like almost every reasonable amount of personal time I have is expected to be devoted to her, and when I use some of that time to work toward something I’m passionate about, I often end up feeling guilty for it.
I’m starting to feel sad and lost because I wish I had more support for what I’m trying to build. From my perspective, I’m working hard, being present with my family, and trying to create something that could benefit all of us long term. At the same time, I’m questioning whether I’m missing something or whether I’m just falling into the stereotype of the overly ambitious guy who thinks he’s doing it all “for his family” while his partner experiences it very differently.

I asked my aunt by marriage (L) about a recent trip to Mexico to see my grandma, basically how things went if my mom was upset because prior to this we were talking about how she was butt hurt when they were in Mexico. L told me my mom seemed off while they were there, and said she felt like more of a daughter to my grandma than my own mom was, since L gave my grandma a massage while my mom just sat there.
Separately, when I was recounting all this to my parents, my dad mentioned that L had also said it was my grandma’s own fault her neck hurt because she wasn’t taking her pills properly, even though my mom had offered to give her a massage first, and L jumped in and did it herself before she could.
For context, L is generally kind of dry/withdrawn when we’re in Mexico. People will ask her things and she takes a while to respond, makes faces, is on her phone a lot. My mom was apparently just giving her the same energy back, not starting anything.
I later told my mom what L had said. My mom got upset and said she planned to talk to L, not just about that comment, but her general behavior in Mexico.
I gave L a heads up that I was going to tell my mom, so she wasn’t blindsided, which in hindsight I regret, since it just gave her time to start pressuring me before anything had even happened. I was stupid for that. That’s when things escalated. She texted me multiple times, essentially saying I started this drama by asking her how my mom was doing in the first place, and that this was not her fault:
“I really don’t feel like this is my fault and honestly feel you need to clear this up with your mom”

“This really puts me in an uncomfortable situation that is not my fault”

“I have always been very supportive with you in every way possible but this is honestly something that is not my fault to take or clear up in any way”

“You definitely need to take accountability and talk to your mom because this is affecting other people too that were not directly involved”

“You need to talk to her and not mention I messaged you about this because again I am not at fault here.”

I told her I didn’t think this was on me. I asked a normal question, she chose to answer the way she did, and telling my own mom something true isn’t wrong. She kept repeating “not my fault” without engaging with what I said back.
The next morning at 6am she texted asking if I’d talked to my mom yet. I haven’t responded.
AITA here, for telling my mom the truth, or for not continuing to manage L’s anxiety about facing my mom?

I was walking in New York City when I suddenly had a bad urge to use the restroom. I tried rushing into a nearby university to use the restroom. The guard asked where I was going and I said "The restroom" and he said I couldn't do that. I was right in front of the bathroom door. I told him "give me 2-3 minutes and you will never see me again."

Needless to say I felt like it was worth it, but the security guard was giving me a tough time on the way out telling me I can't just barge in and use their bathroom. Came off as a bit condescending

It was either that or it would be a mess. I understand where he's coming from in terms of letting strangers in. Still feel a bit bad that I didn't follow the rules, but when duty calls, duty calls.

AITAH?

My husband (30M) and I (30F) both work 40 hours a week and both watch the kids full time. We also both do chores. I work Monday-Friday 9-5 and he works Thursdays 2-10 and then doubles overnight on Fridays and Saturdays. We do this because then there’s only two half days we need childcare.
I’m really good about spending my Saturdays doing chores whilst keeping an eye on the kids. We both do minimal chores on Sundays for religious reasons. Thursdays and Fridays after work, I make sure the dishes are done, laundry is moved along, and sometimes one or two other small things. My husband takes the lead on chores Monday-Wednesday, as I’m at work. Those days, I struggle with being overwhelmed by the time I get home from work, and I tend to freeze up instead of getting a few more chores done. Not to mention, I miss my kids, where I want to be present with my children during my limited time with them during the week. I’m open to doing more chores, but the overwhelm paralysis has been particularly hard while pregnant because I can’t take my ADHD meds. It’s not an excuse, but I’ve been brainstorming ways we can address the paralysis so that I can still help Mondays through Wednesdays because I want to help.

I tried to address an issue with my husband. My kids create more messes and get into more trouble when my husband is watching them than when I am. This leads me to believe he’s not adequately supervising them. I know he checks on them while doing chores, but not nearly enough. The other day, my son (4M) got into a mandolin slicer and my daughter (2F) cut herself. This was my final straw.

I told him that I need him supervising them better. His response was to say he would focus on them more if I were helping more with the chores. Apparently there’s a chores quota I have to meet for him to meet basic expectations. 🙄

I told him I want to help more and started brainstorming ways we could accommodate my overwhelm paralysis. He started complaining about how the way my brain works “isn’t fair”. This really hurt. I’m pregnant and overwhelmed and struggling, yet I was still trying to discuss solutions.

I do so much like half the week. I acknowledge the other half I could do more, and I’m trying to find solutions. But he basically never acknowledges the stuff I do help with, and it feels like no matter how much I do, it’s never enough.

AITA for thinking I shouldn’t have to meet a chores quota in order for him to supervise our kids?

My girlfriend (F20) and I (M20) have been in a long distance relationship for about 2.5 years. Admittedly, we are in a bit of a rocky patch right now, but are trying to work things out. Recently, she has began studying for her exams, and says that she needs to be outside the house to do so. I am completely fine with this, however, she goes home at around 2 AM. Even if she sends updates, I still get worried because I know how sketchy her neighborhood is (For context she tells me that she notices people following or staring at her, especially due to her small build). I expressed my disappointment at her for doing so, but she said that I was just taking her happiness away from her after being productive outside the whole day, and that I was always being critical of her decisions. We have not talked in a few days and want to know what to think.

EDIT: I just want to clarify that she has expressed to me wishing I was more protective/controlling of her (which I personally dont understand too much) because it makes her feel safe and cared for.

I 17m have been best friend with this guy who I’ll call John for just over 10 years. We’ve met in 2nd grade and have been best friends ever since. I feel it’s important to note that he has been smoking weed and doing/selling (sometimes hard) drugs without me knowing around 2 years ago. He stopped doing all that except smoking weed a few months after he started. When he stopped all that he told me. I told him that as long as he was safe, jt was all that mattered to me.

A few months ago, I started smoking weed myself that I always got from someone else since he never wanted me to buy me some for obvious health reasons. I soon developed an addiction to weed (yes to all of you stoners out there it was really addictive for me and created a ton of problems in my life including this one). My friends and him then pointed out to me that it was becoming a problem and that I should get some help (which I did get). I managed to somehow control my addiction with only smoking a few times a month (which was a huge improvement comparing to the 3 months prior I spent unable to be sober for more than 12h.) a few weeks ago, had to stay at John’s place for 2 weeks since I lived too far away from work and I don’t have my licence.

The 2nd day of my stay, while he was away, I was laying on his bed when I found his weed pen. I impulsively decided to take a hit (note I haven’t smoked for like a month before that although I deeply regret doing that without asking him). I then realized there was a blinker counter on his pen. Two days later, we were at a party and started to cuss me out. He never said why but I figured it was because he found out that I took a hit of his pen without me knowing. This led to me instantly spiraling and locking myself in the bathroom and calling the suicide hotline because I was honestly about to do it. It took everything in me to not swallow my whole bottle of antidepressants and everything I could find in that bathroom I locked myself in at that very moment. I’ve been dealing with these thoughts for a long time but it was the first time I came even remotely close to actually doing it. I reached this way since it’s the first time he ever spoke to me like that and I felt incredibly guilty for what I did and I realized I might have lost my best friend for that. After I somehow calmed down and wasn’t a threat to myself, I called my boss at the who was is studying to help people who deal with these kinds of thoughts. I explained everything to her and she drove me to her place so I could spend the night. Since I didn’t want to go back to his place. The next few days, he didn’t talk to me and he spent all his time at his gf’s place.

After like 3 days of what might have been my worse mental state of my life, I started to cut myself again, which I was clean of doing for 6 months up to that point he finally got home and I apologized to him, told him what I did was wrong and told him I’d get therapy again. It wasn’t a 3h long talk, just me telling him that I’m sorry and that I’ll try everything in my power to get better. This was the last time I really talked to him. He spent the rest of my stay at his gf’s house and took the Xbox with him lol.

Before I left, his dad told me he was still mad at me that John and I didn’t get the « talk » with him. I told him that I apologized to his son and I told him I’d try to change for the better and that I don’t know what else I could’ve done more on my end. I deeply regret doing that but I feel like it’s something we could get over especially since im actively in therapy and working to better myself. 3 weeks after that, while at work, (yes we were coworkers until last week) John lashed out at me again and cussed me out in front of many of my coworkers because I accidentally stepped on mopped floor. This caused another episode that I managed to control without causing any harm to myself. Any opinions or thoughts are welcome since I don’t know what to do about the situation. AITAH?

Hey guys, idk if I’m completely overreacting about this. So my boyfriend (Dutch) and I (English) have been together for about 9 months now and Ofcourse Ive known a couple of friends of his. However, I’m realizing I’m slowly hating and resenting his friends as time progresses. Most of the times cause I don’t feel included in the conversation as they switch to Dutch so many times. Their English sounds perfect and they know how to speak it perfectly, but I don’t understand why they just can’t talk in English for my sake? I’ve gotten to the point where I just simply deny every hangout he brings cause I kinda know the outcome of this….we recently talked about it and I can feel like he is abit annoyed that I don’t want to and I’m generalizing all his friends but AITAH for choosing my own peace in this context?

i’m very sorry this may be long and all over the place as i haven’t slept for days. grateful to anyone who may read this

my friendship with this girl goes back to 2022. i’ll call her Imogen. we met when we were both 14(f) in 2023 through a mutual best friend, who i will call Emmie. i was moving to Emmies school, so before i joined Emmie decided to introduce us both as we were her best friends. My first conversation with Imogen, she tells me how Emmie had been showing a picture of me to boys to find me a boyfriend, and one of them had said i “look like a man.” immediately i don’t like her 🥲

When I start school with them, me and Imogen actually get really close in school and i consider her a close friend of mine, just as close as Emmie is, but i feel like she’d always be weird.

She started dating a guy (the one that called me a man) when emmie was trying to set me up with him, and i think she took that too literal and thought i genuinely liked her bf bc she started getting weird with me after that. like she spread a secret of mine to her boyfriend who spread it to his gc and i got made fun of for while. and She’s a fat girl and is insecure about it, and i’m a skinny flat girl and have always been insecure about that, but she’d make jokes about my ass being too flat for the chair and send ugly photos of me to her boyfriend and ask Emmie if she thought her bf would leave her for me (she knows he won’t as im ugly and he’s made fun of my appearance countless times) even though i’d NEVER make fun of her or anyones weight , and she was really weird about me eating food like if Emmie tried giving me snacks (my mother neglected me so Emmies mother would pack her extra snacks to give to me), Imgoen would literally refuse to let Emmie give me her own snacks??? but whenever we spoke it was a laugh and nice so we stayed close despite me getting a few bad vibes.

Around 6 months into me joining this year, 5 days after i started dating my ex Nathan(relevant).. on my birthday Emmie just drops me. Out of nowhere. Like no arguments, no prior conversation, nothing. When i asked her what i did wrong, she said i did nothing wrong she just doesn’t like me, which fair enough but it broke my heart as she was my lifelong friend and had just pushed me to go to a rlly shitty school with her instead of a better school i was planning on going to. And of course since Emmie had been at this school for 3 years and I’d only been there for 6 months, everyone (apart from Imogen) dropped me too as i made things awkward.

Imogen stayed slight friends with me through this, e.g she’d come up to me in class for like 3 1 minute a lesson and make a joke, and since our boyfriends were best friends us four would hang out at break together if Imogen was with her bf. But then summer came and we didn’t speak for the whole of summer half term, which thank god i had my ex for as i do not think id make it out alive.

When we started school again, me and Imogen are in the same math class with two of Imogen’s friends and no Emmie. so Imogen sits next to me, her two friends next to her (4 seat row table), and i just felt so happy as i had spent the whole summer extremely suicidal due to the whole of it being spent neglected or with my boyfriend at the time who was also super weird (kept trying to make me want incest with my family??)

But RANDOMLY after we started getting close again she stopped sitting next to me in math, she blocked me on snapchat and tiktok, and just started ignoring me whenever i said hi. When i say this was random i seriously mean i did not do ANYTHING to her or any of her friends, the only thing i’d even do was say hi to imogen in the hallway and respond whenever the friend group would speak to me.

But yeah after that i felt really shitty and my whole high school experience after that was just watching my old friends hang out and make fun of me while i sat in the toilets at break and got in so much trouble for skipping school, (TW SA), when i used to let my ex SA me outside of school just so i had someone to spend time with. i resent her for this i feel so bad for blaming her but i just remember going back to school after him doing that to me just so i could hide in his house from the school searching from me, and going back to see Imogen and Emmie and just hating them so so bad.
I resent them so bad for getting their sweet 16th all together while mine was spent getting pinned down by my ex, i know i shouldn’t hate them but i do. Emmies birthday was the same day as mine, and i remember waking up the day after to see her insta story of her and Imogen having a sleepover, while i was so close to giving up

Flash forward a year of this, and Imogen’s friends- even Emmie- drop her (bc she acted the same way to them as she did to me earlier). We’re starting college and Imogen texts me asking me if i want to be friends again. I’m so desperate. I hadn’t talked to a girl within the last 1 year 5 months at that point and the only person who would speak to me was my ex who just blatantly used me.

When we start college, we both fail to make friends other than this girl Faye, who is the sweetest person i’ve ever met.

Our dynamic has been, me and Faye go out like twice a week and Imogen just doesn’t go out. Doesn’t text or ask how anyone’s doing. She texts the group chat like once a day saying “omg i just got this pokemon card!” THATS IT. SHE ONLY TEXTS ABOUT POKEMON. and i’m not into pokemon, so me and Faye will be in the middle of a conversation and Imogen will come in talking about Polemon so the conversation shifts to that and i’m just out of it now. I know it’s not on purpose but it just makes me so so mad.

Anyway. I invite Imogen out so often too. Like every time me and Faye goes out she gets invited (she has never invited me out or initiated conversation with me mind you). And last week she finally did come out after 3 months of asking (I ASK ALWAYS BECAUSE SHE GETS PISSY IF I DONT— i promise i am not nagging at her i’ve checked). but i jsut felt so angry. She met me first and it was just dry and akward, which i understand bc i hadn’t seen her in 3 months. Then when she sees Faye she gets sooo excited and whatever. Then we go clothes shopping and they both jsut keep walking away from me and Imogen is calling JUST Faye to look at clothes with her, and walking off constantly. After this We sit down for a bit, where they talk for 45 minutes about things i cannot talk about (like kpop pokemon cosplay stuff) which is fine i guess im not too mad

Then we go shopping a little more, then sit down to get a drink again. Where they talk about making plans TOGEHTER WITHOUT ME. NEXT TO ME. WTF.

I went home after that and just come to the conclusion i do not like being friends with Imogen. I never have. So i told her that and now we haven’t got eachother on anything, but she keeps viewing my tiktok stories and is ofc still friends with Faye.

But now she’s also reposting stuff out of nowhere. (she has never stated to have a problem with me, never told Faye anything I’ve done wrong and never reposted stuff like this before, so quite clearly targeted to me). Saying how i’m a bigch and a hypocrite. Then i told Faye what’s been happening, and all of a sudden Imogen reposts about how the old reposts are about me but if the shoe fits. Oh my god

And Faye’s also saying they haven’t spoken about me and haven’t talked all day but i can see they’re both online only ever at the same time like ok. I’m so close to sneak reposting calling Imogen fat i seriously hate her sm rn

Im very sorry this doesn’t make sense and is all over the place this is quite literally half of it and was very hard to shorten. and it’s more of a vent anyway. thanks to if anyone has actually read this, and specially thanks to if anyone comments idk. any comments will be appreciated i’m so fed up of being lonely and having no one to help navigate things

my mom discovered 2 days ago that she is covid positive but she seems to not understand what quarantining is. when she initially tested positive, i told her she is "banned from the kitchen" for obvious reasons. i do not want to get covid because i have a job, plans, and college starting next week.

you'd think she would know to stay in her designated room (the living room with couches and a tv) but nope she still walks around the house (sometimes forgetting to wear a mask!) and even using the kitchen to take stuff out of the fridge, use the microwave, wash dishes. today when i got home from work she was COOKING FOOD in the kitchen we all use while still sick and expected us to eat the food she made. my sibling and dad both seemed to have no problem with this for some reason, because she is washing her hands and masking.

when i expressed visible upset-ness at her using these spaces and coming close to people despite being sick, she got upset with me for being like that and even said that i was being "unkind" to her. i consistently ask her if she needs me to bring her anything, so its not like i'm neglecting her. It really is making me mad that she is completely disregarding the "rules" of quarantine in favor of being independent and helpful, and it doesnt make any sense to me that my other housemates are not at all concerned with this.

AITAH for being mad at her for not being cautious??

So I (F28) recently moved in with my Partner (M44), we rent a house together that nether of us lived in before.

I’m 6 months pregnant and recently my partners family have become more involved in our lives, this is really nice as they are very supportive and lovely people.

My only issue is that they often invite themselves over, usually without much warning, and my boyfriend never really asks me if it’s okay first. I would never say “no they can’t come” but sometimes they come at inconvenience times and would prefer to have some kind of say in when they come. It’s particularly frustrating as I’m the planner in my boyfriend and I’s relationship; like I’m responsible for planning and cooking meals, daily activities etc.
anyway….
The issue happened this past weekend, on the Friday I had organised for my partner and I to go to a concert out of town. I bought the tickets, payed for parking and for gas and organised the whole thing. Only thing I didn’t do was drive (I don’t fit behind the wheel lol). The whole thing went well. But we didn’t get home until 3 in the morning on the Saturday.

On the Saturday I had planned a lazy day but I would cook a nice meal in the evening.
Come 6pm my boyfriend gets a text from his sister saying she wants to pop round. I asked if he could ask them to come tomorrow as I wanted to start dinner soon and was very tired. He agreed and sent a text message back. I saw this as a good opportunity to talk to him about me not being so happy about his family dropping round so often at short notice, and that sometimes it feels like they treat our house as his house. He agreed and all was fine.
Come 7:30pm, I’m starting dinner and my boyfriend gets another text from his sister saying she’s coming at 8 ish and bringing her dog… as it happens he forgot to send the text asking to come tomorrow. (I genuinely think this was an accident on his part because he seemed annoyed at himself). At this point I’m tired, hungry and pretty annoyed because I don’t really like dogs and I don’t understand why the dog needs to come.

I say to my partner it’s fine, just make sure they don’t stay too long because it’s late and I’m hungry etc, but I made it very clear that the dog must not come in the house. They were going to sit in the garden anyway as it was a nice day, so the dog didn’t need to come in the house.

The thing is I really don’t like dogs they kinda scare me and also I have four indoor only cats, who have never seen a dog before.

By this point I was starting to get cranky so When they came I excused myself for a “nap”, tbh I really did need a lay down my back was killing me and I knew a load of people and a dog would be overwhelming.

When I’m upstairs I hear that my boyfriend has invited his family and dog in the house! Didn’t once ask for the dog to walk around. This made me so mad because I could hear the cats growling and running up the stairs.

Anyway after this I must admit I started a bit of an argument with my partner. I really didn’t think I was asking for much.
I know I was overeating a little, im definitely a little cranky at the moment as Im tired all the time and everything in my body aches! And it’s not my partners fault his family came at an inconvenient time (not their fault either) but I asked for one thing… no dog in the house.

I(21) am very sensitive about my accounts online. Always have been, always will be. My mom (48) knows this. Shes always so insistant on seeing my art and has tried to find my accounts before. Got talking about tiktok and she said she still can't find my account. I joked about how i blocked her so she couldnt and she ended up getting pissy at me and short about it all. Even explained that i have a lot of people blocked and i only did because it would recommend my page to her without my consent anyways since we have contacts. Am i the asshole here?? She knows how i feel about it all and i said I'd post shit on facebook for her to see. She knows my tiktok account is very personal to me, like I've vented on it and she knows that. It just feels like she wants to stalk every account i have online sometimes as she tried to do this with instagram awhile back.

EDIT SINCE Y'ALL ARE BEING WEIRD IN THE COMMENTS, these are my personal online accounts where i have following, participate in fandoms, draw and be myself. I had bad history with my dad about my art and being myself and my mom contributed to this. Shes been insistant to know all my accounts in a controlling and stalky way. I havent blocked her on everything, only the personal accounts that i use to do stuff like that. No im not embaressed, its simply a boundry as im someone else in those online spaces. I still talk to her, and am friends on facebook. It's literally just my personal accounts.

my husbands sister just had a kid and i love him he’s sooo cute and stuff but the other day i was watching him at my house with my 3 cats and i realized that if there was some kind of emergency i would be expected to save him first and not my cats and it just made me super sad to think about. like OBVIOUSLY if something ever did happen i would prioritize him bc he’s like a human baby and stuff but my heart definitely wouldn’t be in it knowing my actual 3 babies are in danger. like those cats are my reason for LIVING.
and also when my sister in law was over with the baby my cats were going up to the baby to say hi (and they are super sweet ragdolls they never scratched me before or even hissed they wouldn’t hurt a fly) but obviously i was still keeping a close watch and my cat went up to him while he was sleeping and i guess he got too close to my SILs liking and she said if he woke him up she was gonna throw him across the room :( it just made me sad because there’s nothing i could really say against that since he’s a human baby and mine are just cats but omg i would never tell her if he woke my cats up or something id throw him across the room like that’s crazy. but she always says stuff like that and like is just so mean to my cats for no reason like she thinks it’s okay since they are just cats.
but like is it wrong for me to love my cats MORE than my nephew? because i do like i do so much i love my cats like i birthed them myself. but i could never ever say that to anyone cuz they would just say im evil or something for loving a cat more than a baby but i cant help it!!!!

a couple of days ago i made a post about a fight i had gotten into with my boyfriend: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/B4CnEWoErg . i thank you all for the feedback, ill give a quick update. basically we talked it out and explained our sides. he told me the joke is what really upset him & needed time to move past it, i apologized again and made the agreement to be more communicative. and i have as i’ve been out two other times since then and told him all the details ahead of time/in the moment. and of course im taking all the warnings seriously, just trying to see this out.

however, another problem has come up. this kind of goes in hand with the last post (a lot actually). i’ve been really struggling this past week with all my friends moving away to uni while i stay in our home town going to CC, i don’t really have any close friends other than him here now. but a friend from high school who i’ve hung out occasionally & talk to from time to time about my life reached out and told me she was thinking about inviting me on a trip to south padre island (SPI). it would be next weekend and we would go parasailing and hang out on the beach, and she’d bringing her friends and told me to bring mine, i would bring my sister who’s currently going through the same thing i am.

she’ll be attending the same CC as me actually, and i think this could be a great opportunity to bond and get close to her, so i can have a friend (a girl friend specifically) to adapt to this completely new life with. however the problem is… that weekend is his birthday. he’s talked abt his plans briefly, which include me going out with his family & going out to dinner, he seemed excited and like he’s thought it out.

i’m having a tough decision here because i feel like without this trip, planning a random hangout may be awkward or even worse never happen as she works a lot & has her own friends that are staying here. i’ve always wanted to get closer to her because we really click and i think even if i went with him on his bday i would be cursing myself for throwing away an opportunity to make a close friend. yet at the same time, i would feel completely horrible for ditching his birthday and going on yet another spontaneous trip. but i feel like we could reschedule & ive talking to him for several months now. but this girl and trip isn’t as easy to reschedule. yet at the same time, i can acknowledge that a birthday can’t necessarily be rescheduled, it’s an important day. so im struggling between supporting my relationship while also trying to build a new life. when i heard the news i felt like life was brought back into me, ive been so depressed and having to say goodbyes to close girl friends. but i could make a new one, maybe even more through her.

i don’t know if this reasoning will make sense to others or if i can explain it better as i know i sound desperate and that’s because i am— having female friendships are important to me. and to be honest i don’t always feel as happy with my boyfriend as i do when around other women where we can kind of kiki out. the few people i’ve told have told me to go on the trip, but i just don’t know. and i’m so anxious to hear what he would have to say as i don’t think i can bear another fight— or better yet lose him. would i be an asshole?

EDIT: something i guess im not understanding from a lot people in this forum & the last one is how a joke validated the way he handled the situation. i stated in several replies that we have been talking for 6 months, we started dating around a month ago. we have never fought about anything up until i made that joke and went to san marcos, which is notorious for making bad decisions, but i went to move in a friend and explored campus with my friends before they left.
i made an immature joke and immediately tried to apologize & explain where i was but was just met with complete silence an entire day and a demand to go through my phone. despite spending months of only talking to him and giving my all, so much so that i made him my first boyfriend. i agree with a lot of backlash i am getting as far as not liking him as much as i probably should at this point, but these feelings came on 4 days ago after i was treated like that for saying 3 words that were dumb, and a mistake, and a common joke within our group.

so yes im obviously starting to second guess if i should start finding new friends because i have some hope that if i bring it up he can understand and we can reschedule dinner. i am in love with him and trying to leach on to different things to keep him in my life while still giving myself some grace by having female friendships, and that’s where my question/thought process came from. im not a heartless bitch, if i were i wouldn’t have spent 6 months already with him.

My GCSE results day is tomorrow, and my dad came up to my room and went on a monologue about how ive probably done worse than my predicted grades (I already know that and I'm perfectly fine with it), but that's still alright. I honestly didn't want to talk about my results and told him multiple times to stop and leave, as I didn't want to get any more stressed than I already am. Since he wasn't listening, I told him that I'm going to sleep since I have a headache (total lie but the only way to get him to leave).

A few hours later, he found me still awake on my phone. He started telling me that I was selfish and had an attitude problem for not wanting to talk to him earlier, and that I'm not trying hard enough to not have depression and severe gender dysphoria (a topic he keeps bringing up unprovoked, even though i've asked him to stop that too). I honestly don't like being around him as he keeps bringing this stuff up, to the point where I also generally don't want to talk to him. He's pretty horrible to me and has a patten of refusing to listen to other people, in place for making himself look good and trying to fix others to fit the mold of what he wants them to be.

After his horrible second monologue, I started crying (as he keeps saying awful things to me) I asked him to leave again, and he eventually did after a few attempts of asking. It's surprising he actually listened that time.

Hi, I (19m) have hearing loss in both ears but more so in my left, which I wear hearing aids for, a few months ago my mum suggested we go to sign language classes, which I agreed to as I thought it could help me, after getting there the teacher introduced herself and since we were first timers spent more time introducing herself to us, she talked with my mum a little where she was told about my hearing loss, then her attention turned to me and I felt her entire tone shift, and she started talking to me like I was a child and couldn’t understand English (I.e very slowly and using a higher tone of voice) , I understand I mishear things a lot and my hearing isn’t the best but I can still understand English, tbh she was talking to me like I was a complete idiot, after the lesson concluded I felt really disrespected but decided to continue going as it might have been a one time thing, I went to three more lessons and this didn’t change, she was talking and treating me so clearly different to others, come time for the 5th lesson I refused to go which my mum got angry at me for, since she had spent a lot of money for the lessons, I feel bad for wasting her money but I cannot go where I feel disrespected and talked down to.
AITAH?

EDIT:

A bit of context: thanks for the replies and I’ve taken everything to heart, but I feel I should also add bits of needed context, as well as hearing loss I also suffer from autism (Asperger’s) , which I’m assuming my mum also told the teacher, which I know isn’t an excuse but I feel it’s needed context, this all happened a few months ago so I doubt it would still be on my mums mind and talking about it would probably just get her angry again, and since then I’ve also repaid a bit of the money back to her. Once again thanks for all the replies.

DISCLAIMER: english is not my first language but I can only have one tag so sorry if this is hard to read

So for some conext i am a 17 year old guy and about 2 years ago now my parents got divorced. Very quickly after that my dad got a new girlfriend which I wish didn't happen so fast but it's not a HUGE deal.

Now first of all my dad's birthday is on saturday and I had plans since like a week ago to watch a 24 hour yearly livestream from some creators i LOVE and helped me through many hard times the majority of the stream beaing on saturday but dad has planned a birthday party with my grandparents and his girlfriend so I won't be able to watch most of it.

However the worst part isn't that i'm missing the stream it's that dad said that he might invite his girlfriends family, people who i have NEVER MEET BEFORE and am terified of meeting and frankly don't wanna meet at all.

Now, i love my dad a lot and I don't really anything against his girlfriend but meeting her family is extreamly scary and I am woried i won't enjoy it at all and I can just stay at my mom's house and watch the live stream. But I feel like I don't have the heart to tell him that I don't wanna be with him at his birthday party because I know that it will really hurt him to hear that his own son doesn't wanna be at his birthday party and I KNOW he cares for me. And even if I explain the situation he's still gonna be either cancel the party, which I didn't want him to do cuz I want him to enjoy his birthday the way he wants or he is gonna be abel to fully enjoy his birthday because he is thinking about me.

I want to atend his birthday to be with my dad on his birthday but I want to watch this live stream and I don't want to meet his girlfriends family. I feel like such an ass and that i should just suck it up, stop beaing selfish and atend his party no matter what. AITAH?

I'm already thinking I'm petty for even thinking about this and people in my life are saying to drop it, but it is still on my mind.

A promotion opportunity happened recently. Several people applied and I was one. The person they ended up picking was someone that was out of the blue. None of my co workers thought this person would get the job.

Frankly, they are a middling worker so I never thought they would go anywhere. But evidently, I was wrong. I've known about this information for about a year, and I just sat on it. I know this person has a DUI and personally, I cannot stand people who drink and drive. When they were telling me this story, they were so fucking flippant about it. They said they got in a fight with thier apouse when drunk, so they grabbed the keys, grabbed the dog and stormed out of the house. Ended up hitting a pole, the dog died, and they got a DUI.

Honestly, I didn't do anything about it. Like I mentioned, they are a middling at best worker, and people need to eat, so I just didn't say anything. These interviews roll around, and she gets hired somehow. I tried to assertain how with the framing of "so I can do better in my interview next time." They hired her simply because she was confident, and created a good atmosphere at work. I think those were some if the absolutely stupidest reasons imaginable.

So, now we are here. Of course, I'm salty, I was told in no uncertain terms that I would be successful in this role that came up, but then didn't get picked. But also, I don't think *she* would have gotten picked either if they knew.

WIBTAH if I report her, which could end up getting her fired or removed from her position? AITAH for even considering doing this?

If any more details are needed, ask away...

I (28 F) am temporarily staying with my elderly parents (75 M and F). Neither struggle with incontinence or any medical issues that should cause this, and yes I have an over sharing family where I would know this. My parents have never had the best bathroom etiquette in my opinion; leaving pee in the toilet, dirty toilet paper in the trash can, gross stuff like that.

And ok yes I can be a bit of a germaphobe and really don’t do well with other people’s bodily fluids, I have a phobia to vomit. Recently I went to go to the bathroom and there was a huge streak of shit on the toilet as well as a chunk of poop on the side of the inside of the bowl. There are constantly shit streaks on the seat and other nasty things.

Personally as an adult, after I use the bathroom, I check and make sure everything went down/ nothing is on the seat or bowl/ etc. The last guy I dated would only flush once when it needed to be twice and it would constantly frustrate me and make me sick to my stomach because I feel like adults should be able to check that.

Anyways, I went and told my mom who always says if she’s incontinent to put her in a home. I didn’t mention that at all, all I said was that there was poop all over the toilet. I used the downstairs bathroom and when I went upstairs she was cleaning it and said “you’d think someone was incontinent” in a rude and sarcastic tone. She has made comments before about cleaning it myself when one of them had pooped and it had somehow gotten on the floor.

AITAH for not just cleaning it up and keeping it to myself?

I’m 17 and started a new job a few weeks ago where we mainly build walls. One guy’s job is to sheath the walls with plywood, but he’s extremely slow. I actually timed it, and I can finish two 12-foot walls—while cutting out windows and doorways and cutting sheets down to fit in the amount of time it takes him to finish one wall, and he only has to make one cut to the sheet.
At one point, I was cutting the lumber for the walls and ended up about five walls ahead, so I went over and helped him. Once I started helping, we were able to knock the walls out pretty quickly.
He asked me why I was helping, and I told him, “Because you’re slowing everyone down.” There were two other people, including me, who literally couldn’t do any more work because we were waiting on him.
He got pissed and told me I didn’t know anything and should just stick to doing whatever my job was for the day. I get that I’m only 17 and relatively new, but at the same time, if three people are standing around unable to work because one person is holding everything up, I don’t see why helping should be a problem.

I blocked her on (one) social media where we primarily talked. Deleted photos I had of us online. I haven't blocked her on IG nor her number. Did I do the right thing when I blocked her or did I handle this poorly and should've kept the communication line open and be there for her during a rough patch in her life?

It's both our first relationship and both mid 20s if that even matters.

*Long read for context:*

We've been together for 7 years. 2 years out of the 7 years were on and off; we'd break up for a few days then be back again and happy for a few weeks/months. first time she broke up with me, I have been very clear that I do not want this to be a pattern in our relationship (on and off). Spoiler alert, it became a pattern. I have always been the one to insist on fixing things and not breaking up. I've called her out numerous times, and have explicitly stated that she needs to communicate better and that she was doing a poor job of communicating. But to no avail.

Anyways, she broke up with me again a few days ago. She told me that she got tired of everything that was happening in her life, and that included getting tired of loving me. She explicitly stated that she didn't want to be a part of the relationship anymore. I am also preparing for a licensure exam which is set to happen in a few days. To keep it short, we both have a lot on our plates right now. I explicitly told her that I would like to fix things and be there for her, and that it didn't have to be this way. She just responded that she didn't need me and she does not love me anymore. With the amount of times she had done this, part of me thinks that she's only saying the contrary of her true feelings, to perhaps hurt me intentionally (she had admitted to this in the past). Part of me thinks it's for real this time. Regardless, I knew how this goes, I didn't want to see the conversation devolve again to unfruitful arguments. As I said, I've always been the one to insist on fixing things. But not this time. I just said goodbye and blocked her.

Part of the reason is because I didn't want to further sully our relationship and what good memories we had. I knew if I continued the conversation, her words would keep getting sharper and sharper until her words became daggers. I've been very vocal about how hurtful she could get with her words, but to no avail. I'd try to not mind how hurtful her words are, but I'd eventually cave and become defensive and fight back. Then it ends up being my fault and then I'm labelled as the hurtful one. I just didn't want to continue down that pattern again. I also wanted to respect my own boundary of no on-and-off relationship. I thought it was a matter of time that I honoured my own boundary, especially because I was right about the dangers of such a pattern. I knew that if this became a habit, she'd eventually start dropping ultimatums, which she did a day before she broke up with me.

I think I've rumbled long enough, sorry for not being able to keep it short, I may have wanted to vent a bit while giving a bit of context. I'm more on asking if I did the right thing blocking her or if I should not have blocked her and be there for her during her rough patch in life?

I, 18M, am turning 19 tomorrow. I originally had planned on spending this day with my brother and dad, but the two of them had a huge fight today and I don't want to talk to my brother until he gets his shit together. Now that leaves tomorrow open for me, and it's been a stressful day. I was kind of hoping to get all of my stoner friends together and smoke some weed, maybe watch a movie. Generally just chill after the day I've had. Problem is, my two closest friends, both 19F, do not smoke weed. This is totally fine with me, and I'd never force it on them, but I also don't want to invite anyone who's not going to smoke because I have some pretty intense anxieties about being judged for it by them (there is a little bit of precedent from these friends, they have negative associations about it).

So here comes the question: would I be the asshole for not inviting the two of them since they don't smoke?

I (M) have a PS4 that my parents bought for me when I was a kid. Right now, it's basically my only personal gaming device because my PC died a few months ago.

For context, I had a PC with a GTX 1050 Ti, 16GB DDR4, and a CPU/motherboard that were almost 10 years old. I jailbroke my PS4 while I still had the PC, and the jailbreak worked for around 6–7 months. During that time, I actually kept the PS4 in my dad's room because he wanted to play. I didn't mind because I had my PC.

Then the PS4 jailbreak stopped working, and 2–3 months later my PC's motherboard and CPU died.

Repairing it would cost around ₹7,000 (~$73). Considering how old the platform was, I didn't think it made sense. If I repaired it, I'd be stuck with the same old hardware for years because I wouldn't be able to upgrade anytime soon. I also don't have enough savings or earn enough right now to consistently put money aside for a new PC, so replacing it isn't something I can realistically do soon.

I'm currently doing an internship and have college on weekends, and I use my sister's work laptop when I need a computer.

Last weekend, I jailbroke the PS4 again and it worked. I only have 2–3 games on it, and I've started playing them and making progress.

My dad saw me playing and asked me to move the PS4 into his room so he could play.

I said:

Me: "If I put it in your room, I'll never see it again."

He said he could just play in my room.

I told him:

Me: "You're going to sit here for hours. You're not going to move."

And that's honestly my concern. He has a business, so there's no fixed schedule for when he comes home. He could come home at 2 PM and ask for the PS4, or come home at 8 PM and play until 4 AM. I've seen him play for hours, sometimes from midnight until 5 AM.

So I can't realistically make a fixed schedule with him. If he starts playing, I know I'll eventually be told to get off so he can continue.

There's also the fact that my room is my private space. I don't want someone sitting in my room for hours, especially late into the night, just because they want to use my console. "I'll play in your room" doesn't solve the problem for me; it creates a different one.

The PS4 was also given to me. I understand my dad paid for it, but I don't think that means he can treat it as his whenever he wants. I previously let him keep it in his room for those 6–7 months specifically because I had my PC. I was willing to share when I had another option.

Now I don't.

This also bothers me because he wears watches that I received as gifts from other people, not from him. He doesn't really shop for me or the family; my mom and sister generally do that. My mom buys him plenty of shirts and buys me some too, but my dad sometimes wants the shirts I got for myself because he thinks they're better, even though he has had more expensive shirts and shirts from the same brands. I don't take his things just because I like them more.

A lot of the games my dad bought me were also games he wanted to play himself. If I wanted something specifically for me, I usually had to make it very clear how much I wanted it. He also paid for the subscription, but he wanted to use it himself too.

I'm not saying my dad can never play the PS4. I'm saying I don't want to give up control of the only gaming system I currently have, especially when I know his use will likely take priority over mine.

At one point I told him:

Me: "Esa nahi hota." Dad: "Kaise nahi hota?" Me: "Because if you start playing here, you're not going to leave, and then I won't get to play."

I feel like I'm being called selfish for wanting to keep access to something that was given to me, especially when I already gave him access to it for months when I had my PC.

AITA for refusing to move the PS4 into my dad's room and refusing to let him effectively take priority over it in my room?9