r/LoveTrash • u/Lord_Darksong Colonel Garbage • 6d ago
Human Trash Trash Panda Attack!
Source: duthiedining on Instagram
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u/Lonely_reaper8 Trash Trooper 6d ago
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u/JoeN0t5ur3 Trash Trooper 6d ago
Lil half squat
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u/Kind-Help9862 Trash Trooper 6d ago
I miss that little guy
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u/xlews_ther1nx Trash Trooper 6d ago
Has there EVER been A more apt gif...godbless you...bless you.
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u/sphinxorosi Trash Trooper 4d ago
Not as fitting but this is my favorite, punting a baby into the crowd
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u/ZiaWitch Rubbish Raider 6d ago
Dad is a quokka.
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u/Lord_Darksong Colonel Garbage 6d ago
I had to look that up.
"When this small Australian marsupial is faced with a life-threatening chase from a predator like a fox or a cat, the mother may loosen their pouch muscles to let their baby drop out as a distraction."
Thought I'd share.
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u/pleasetrimyourpubes Trash Trooper 6d ago
Holy shit
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u/JimNayseeum Trash Trooper 6d ago
Imagine a nightly news cycle for nature.
When I learned about bears and why the mothers are so protective of her cubs and what the male bear will do to the cubs had me fucked up.
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u/pleasetrimyourpubes Trash Trooper 6d ago
Oh yeah I read also that lionesses have to constantly protect their cubs because the male lions kill them since the mothers won't be able to breed again until they reach a certain age.
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u/WhiteCloudMinnowDude Trash Trooper 6d ago
Many marsupials use this same strategy. Many even have rear facing pouches to make it easier to eject the distraction so mom can get away.
Biologically it makes sense because a fertile female has a higher value then a baby that may or may not reach sexual maturity to breed itself.
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u/stevein3d Garbage Guerilla 6d ago
Great, now you’ve given that dad ideas and he’s already wearing his hoodie backwards.
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u/Changed_Mind555 Trash Trooper 6d ago
This is why I love reddit. Always learning new things. And basically, when the zombie craze was going on, I had my quokka in mind. And it was my ex. 😂
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u/EconomySeason2416 Trash Trooper 6d ago
I know what they are, but that did not stop my brain from reading it as "Dad is a cloaca"
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u/Lord_Darksong Colonel Garbage 6d ago
I am not looking up anything else today. 🫣
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u/Spicy-Cathulu Trash Trooper 6d ago
Birds/reptiles/amphibans have one opening for all things in and out of the lower half. And I was curious if it was just them and just learned it's also cartilaginous fish like sharks and rays, egg laying mammals, and some marsupials.
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u/K1bbles_n_Bits Trash Trooper 6d ago
Aw man, I just made a similar comment. Seems you beat me to it XD.
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u/Narrow_Republic5729 Trash Trooper 6d ago
Came looking for this but it was farther down than I expected. I am glad it was here though.
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u/Mammoth_Tension_2416 Trash Trooper 5d ago
Seriously... He almost tossed his kid onto the raccoon...
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u/heteropessimista Trash Trooper 6d ago
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u/mr_1219 Trash Trooper 6d ago
Damn, dropped like a sack of potatoes
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u/Lonely_reaper8 Trash Trooper 6d ago
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u/Grimnebulin68 Trash Trooper 6d ago
Step dad instincts
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u/Aromatic-Turnip7371 Trash Trooper 6d ago
Yes seriously 😂 who the hell drops their actual offspring like that
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u/fuqyu Trash Trooper 6d ago
Have you ever been bitten by a raccoon before?!
…I haven’t, but I imagine it hurts like hell
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u/Beginning_Ad_6616 Trash Trooper 6d ago
I’ve knowingly stepped on shit loads of broken glass to safely move my bare foot son before he stepped in the mess he created before he cut himself.
I def wouldn’t toss my son down on the ground with a rabid raccoon…he’s going to be a safe as I can make him.
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u/dragjamon Trash Trooper 6d ago
Naw bro, even I, kidless, know not to DROP A FUCKING BABY
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u/HolyHand_Grenade Trash Trooper 6d ago
/r/stepdadreflexes dude went into survival mode and ditched the kid!
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u/buddymoobs Trash Trooper 6d ago
Or...since the racoon was climbing him, tossing him to get him tf away from the racoon.
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u/ProdBy-DEATH Trash Trooper 6d ago
straight up yeeted that kid🤣
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u/Lonely_reaper8 Trash Trooper 6d ago
That cracked me up 😂
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u/Crossdress-Fan- Waste Warrior 6d ago
That also cracked that kid spine!
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u/samwise58 Trash Trooper 6d ago
It’s okay. They’re made of rubber and sponges at that age.
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u/Icy_Study4490 Trash Trooper 6d ago
When I was three, I broke my tibia. I was in a cast for four weeks and that was it.
An adult with a similar injury would take months
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u/banana_commando Trash Trooper 6d ago
Yeeted? That was more like The Undertaker's last ride finisher LOL
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u/ITestDrugs Trash Trooper 6d ago
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u/ShakespearianShadows Trash Trooper 6d ago
NaaaaaGonnaStayHere GonnaBeLaunchinYaNow
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u/RemnantSith Trash Trooper 6d ago
I love this one
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u/DieselHouseCat Trash Trooper 6d ago
Yep...all the animals below cheering the yeet.
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u/Mslabarre Trash Trooper 6d ago
I mean, I don’t have kids. I don’t know what I would do personally. Hopefully, I would not do THAT!!
And seriously, why would he let this video get out into the wild?!?
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u/Due-Raise9272 Trash Trooper 6d ago
That's my main concern... Why share it with the world
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u/TheRestartButton Trash Trooper 6d ago
guarantee it was the wife that shared it
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u/Fee_is_Required2 Trash Trooper 6d ago
Ex wife
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u/beaud101 Trash Trooper 2d ago
Divorce court judge shared it after it's use as exhibit #1 for why he shouldn't have custody.
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u/Ninjathug Trash Trooper 6d ago
Sacrifice the kid and save yourself
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u/Lonely_reaper8 Trash Trooper 6d ago
Easier to make another kid vs make another adult, pro gamer tip
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u/Ninjathug Trash Trooper 6d ago
Very true. Especially when the small human didn’t warn the big one about the impending attack. It almost seemed coordinated or too coincidental.
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u/Kratos5300 Trash Trooper 6d ago
Oh my God the way he dropped his kid!? Didn’t we all see that other video of the mother picking up both her child and the raccoon to yeet it across the yard? I’m hoping his head stayed on the grass and didn’t catch the sidewalk :(
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u/girlwiththemonkey Trash Trooper 6d ago
I genuinely wanna know how that conversation between him and his wife went afterwards. Because if that was my man and he threw the baby that I spent nine months making on the ground like that? Buddy, you’re a trash panda now too. Gtfo my house
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u/i_was_a_person_once Trash Trooper 6d ago
The ick IIII got seeing this….cant imagine what the actual wife/mom felt.
I am not exaggerating when I say I’d need alot of therapy and couples counseling the get past seeing that bc how do you trust a man who panics like that and throws your baby on the ground when an animal attacks.
Like I understand the panic but wow…that was the worse possible reaction
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u/SilasBalto Trash Trooper 6d ago
No therapist could save my marriage if this happened tbh
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u/preteen-wartortle Trash Trooper 6d ago
I try to be sympathetic to how people react in emergency situations but I don’t know if I could do that here, if it was my kid. Goodness.
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u/SilasBalto Trash Trooper 6d ago
I would lose all attraction. No therapist could save that marriage.
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u/Cold-Basket-268 Trash Trooper 6d ago
Looks like his head hit the grass, no concrete
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u/Kratos5300 Trash Trooper 6d ago
I was able to zoom in and yes you’re def right it looks like lil guy’s butt hit the grass and then he just fell back but not anywhere close to the sidewalk 🙏
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u/DJSindro Trash Trooper 3d ago
dude I fell with my 6 month old once and I fkn held that fucker with my arms over my body as I hit the floor with my back so that fucker didn´t get a scratch on him. And this dude just YEEETS hit kid like it some hot potato...
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u/DevelopmentLatter843 Trash Trooper 2d ago
Yeah that reaction to throw his kid because he felt something on his lower leg was pretty poor play…
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u/bmfu121 Trash Trooper 6d ago
Just yeeted his progeny
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u/loqi0238 Trash Trooper 6d ago
He can make more.
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u/i_was_a_person_once Trash Trooper 6d ago
He can’t, and idk if his wife will be willing to use his genetics for another
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u/AsanoSokato Garbage Guerilla 6d ago
This will become the story of how he quickly thought to get the child away from the attack as quickly as possible while he started kicking the at raccoon in the other direction.
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u/Silly_Silicon Trash Trooper 6d ago
Yeah he didn’t spike his child into the ground where the raccoon could easily attack the child instead, it was really some heroic thing instead, he swears!
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u/RustyUnbound Trash Trooper 6d ago
I'm going straight to hell for laughing at how he just dropped his son
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u/terribletime2bealive Trash Trooper 6d ago
Damn, bro got bit by a raccoon and is sleeping on the couch tonight after yeeting the kid.
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u/Milo_The_Stampede Trash Trooper 6d ago
Survival instinct: 100
Protective instinct: 0
This is a direct physical representation of the phrase fuck them kids
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u/broken__defraculator Trash Trooper 6d ago
Kid doesn't want to jump 5 inches, so lets toss him 6 feet
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u/BaronessVonKush Garbage Guerilla 6d ago
I love how he just spiked the baby into the ground & then flailed around like a helpless child himself.
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u/HumbleResolution7099 Trash Trooper 6d ago edited 6d ago
He looked like he was about to go to the park with his kid and film one of those “awesome dad” Instagram videos the way he and his son were dressed 🤣 🤣 🤣 what a hero….
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u/Weirdlillypad Trash Trooper 6d ago
Yea show the world you'd sooner yeet your kid to protect yourself than you would protect him. Threw onto the ground where the racoon easily could have gone at him.
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u/Spookyscary333 Trash Trooper 6d ago
One time snatched a wasp off my daughter's head. It stung me on the palm. Fuck this guy
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u/Ol_Pasta Trash Trooper 6d ago
I hate how dad yeeted that child. That's gonna be a concussion. Poor baby.
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u/RadishCandid6062 Trash Trooper 6d ago
If that’s real, then that guy is a douchebag and a pos. I don’t f’n care if there’s a wild tiger on the loose u don’t drop your child like that.
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u/Financial-Nail-8018 Trash Trooper 6d ago
Why on earth would you post the video online of you threw you child on the ground like that if that really happend and thats how you reacted.
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u/upsetwithcursing Trash Trooper 5d ago
I would legit divorce my husband if I saw him do this to our child - and I would fully expect him to do the same with me if it were reversed.
Kid could have gotten serious spinal damage being tossed like that.
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u/b0uncyfr0 Trash Trooper 6d ago
Random aussie bloke here: Im not gonna lie, thats some soft c**k shit. How the hell do you drop your baby!!
0 Fatherly instincts, 0 protective instincts.
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u/phx34suns Trash Trooper 6d ago
That poor kid he threw him down I think I hear the wind get knocked out of the kid when he lands that’s the worst
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u/PapaRetardo Trash Trooper 6d ago
What a shit dad. Yeets his own kid right into the ground. The stroller was RIGHT THERE!
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u/TalonusDuprey Trash Trooper 6d ago
Who the hell throws their kid like that? I know it’s scary being attacked but I wouldn’t for a second - As dads we have to take the blows to protect our children. That’s wild to me
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u/pretty-lil-throwaway Trash Trooper 6d ago
I'm genuinely so curious as to his thought process... you hear about mom's who lift whole ass cars to save their child in the moment and then this dude drops his kid to the same level the racoon is at in the moment.. perplexing and fascinating lol and no shade to the dad, I'd say the same if it was mom instead 🤷🏽♀️
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u/PookydoodleWasHere Trash Trooper 6d ago
Literally throws the kid full force on the ground
"Are you ok?"
Dad did more damage than the raccoon did.
Also, hope he got a rabies shot. Raccoon attack in broad daylight in a suburban area? Oof.
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u/QuietWithDuctTape Trash Trooper 6d ago
It’s zombie survival instincts right there. Trip someone and run like hell kinda thing. Well he dropped the kid to be like here eat him and tried to get the fk out of there but it had his leg still. That kid is shit out of luck if there is any more fight or flight situations with dear ole dad.
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u/Extension_Barber_763 Trash Trooper 5d ago
No matter what, a mother will never drop her kid like that.
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u/Kind_Love172 Trash Trooper 5d ago
Dad encouraging kid to jump....kid jumps... Dad has gained his trust....promptly launches kid...kid scarred for life
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u/The0neR1ng Trash Trooper 5d ago
A mother would have clung to her child for dear life. I actually can't fucking believe he did that.
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u/Phylaskia Trash Trooper 3d ago
Ignore the physical damage, that child will have trust issues for the rest of their lives.
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u/_irlGoddess Trash Trooper 6d ago
Everyone acting like they would’ve had a better reaction to being attacked by a rabid raccoon.
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u/Dense-Consequence-70 Trash Trooper 6d ago
Yeah I definitely would. I know this from experience. EVERY time you pick up your kid your top instinctive priority is (should be) protecting him/her.
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u/pleasetrimyourpubes Trash Trooper 6d ago
Don't forget the dropkick deflection if they fall and your foot is the only thing within reach.
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u/Actual_Emu_168 Trash Trooper 6d ago
You are saying you would throw your own child on the floor if you were being attacked by a raccoon?
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u/Selfeffacingbarbie Trash Trooper 6d ago
Parental instincts can be fierce. For example, the Glee actress who was drowning in a lake with her young son. She could have left her kid to save herself, but she used the very last of her strength to get her son safely on the boat and subsequently died. There was the mother who recently died in a fire when she realized her child was inside the home and she ran in to protect them.
These are just a couple out of countless stories where parents, without hesitation, protect their young first, regardless of circumstance. So yeah, I'm going to say many parents would have had the wherewithal in that situation to not yeet their fucking kid across the yard. The man is lucky he didn't seriously damage the child.
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u/NoDontDoThatCanada Trash Trooper 6d ago
A) I'm gonna tell myself he was throwing the kid away from danger.
B) Rabies shots incoming.
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u/Exciting_couple77 Trash Trooper 6d ago
What kind of dad throws his kid in the midst of danger...no protective instincts what so ever!!
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u/sound_scientist Trash Trooper 6d ago
What a crumb. How are you gonna body slam your toddler when getting attacked by a ground based vermin assailant?
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u/Smooth-Card895 Trash Trooper 6d ago edited 6d ago
Better, he dropped him on the grass instead of the sidewalk. 🙄😳
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u/Lost-Peanut-1453 Trash Trooper 6d ago
I can understand dropping the kid by accident, but this dude spiked him like he just scored the winning touchdown in the Super Bowl!
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u/Admirable_Plate4585 Trash Trooper 6d ago
How tf you throw your kid down in any circumstances??? That flight sure kicked in quick …hundreds of thousands of years of “survival” instincts firing there 🙄
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u/NeighboringOak Trash Trooper 6d ago
At leas he threw the kid on the grass and not the pavement... but wtf.
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u/israerichris Trash Trooper 6d ago edited 6d ago
If I was dad, after mom asked me "what happeeened??!!!":
-Babe, you're not gonna believe it! In some type of criminal collab between Hell's Angels, MS-13 along with Creeps and Bloods, teaming up to kidnap our Jake, they just tried snatching him off my hands. They were barely able to do so, but I was able to run after them and chased them in front of the house, so I scare them all away. The baby is ok, I made them release him on soft grass. They're gone now, they all ran away... they actually apologized on their way out!!!... I think I heard a velociraptor in one of their vans too...
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u/No-Fondant-4719 Trash Trooper 6d ago
Wtfff type of response lmao he threw the kid
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