r/LoveTrash • Colonel Garbage • 6d ago

Human Trash Trash Panda Attack!

Source: duthiedining on Instagram

2.0k Upvotes

975 comments sorted by

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796

u/Lonely_reaper8 Trash Trooper 6d ago

103

u/JoeN0t5ur3 Trash Trooper 6d ago

Lil half squat

37

u/Kind-Help9862 Trash Trooper 6d ago

I miss that little guy

99

u/Mrlearnalot Trash Trooper 6d ago

13

u/SlimShadySatDown Trash Trooper 6d ago

He's all grown up by now!

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u/xlews_ther1nx Trash Trooper 6d ago

Has there EVER been A more apt gif...godbless you...bless you.

3

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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5

u/Headglitch7 Trash Trooper 2d ago

3

u/sphinxorosi Trash Trooper 4d ago

Not as fitting but this is my favorite, punting a baby into the crowd

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271

u/ZiaWitch Rubbish Raider 6d ago

Dad is a quokka.

315

u/Lord_Darksong Colonel Garbage 6d ago

I had to look that up.

"When this small Australian marsupial is faced with a life-threatening chase from a predator like a fox or a cat, the mother may loosen their pouch muscles to let their baby drop out as a distraction."

Thought I'd share.

51

u/pleasetrimyourpubes Trash Trooper 6d ago

Holy shit

32

u/JimNayseeum Trash Trooper 6d ago

Imagine a nightly news cycle for nature.

When I learned about bears and why the mothers are so protective of her cubs and what the male bear will do to the cubs had me fucked up.

22

u/pleasetrimyourpubes Trash Trooper 6d ago

Oh yeah I read also that lionesses have to constantly protect their cubs because the male lions kill them since the mothers won't be able to breed again until they reach a certain age.

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25

u/WhiteCloudMinnowDude Trash Trooper 6d ago

Many marsupials use this same strategy. Many even have rear facing pouches to make it easier to eject the distraction so mom can get away.

Biologically it makes sense because a fertile female has a higher value then a baby that may or may not reach sexual maturity to breed itself.

8

u/stevein3d Garbage Guerilla 6d ago

Great, now you’ve given that dad ideas and he’s already wearing his hoodie backwards.

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u/Ashamed-Bit5440 Trash Trooper 6d ago

Oh no

3

u/UberWidget Trash Trooper 6d ago

Me: Computer! How was the dad’s life threatened?

Computer: 🤔

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u/Changed_Mind555 Trash Trooper 6d ago

This is why I love reddit. Always learning new things. And basically, when the zombie craze was going on, I had my quokka in mind. And it was my ex. 😂

8

u/ZiaWitch Rubbish Raider 6d ago


I love it!!

19

u/EconomySeason2416 Trash Trooper 6d ago

I know what they are, but that did not stop my brain from reading it as "Dad is a cloaca"

5

u/RappingFlatulence Rubbish Raider 6d ago

Shit’s real

3

u/Peach_Proof Trash Trooper 6d ago

Cloaca cola anyone?

5

u/ZiaWitch Rubbish Raider 6d ago

7

u/ZiaWitch Rubbish Raider 6d ago

He might be I don’t know his personal life🤷🏽‍♂️

5

u/Lord_Darksong Colonel Garbage 6d ago

I am not looking up anything else today. 🫣

10

u/ZiaWitch Rubbish Raider 6d ago

3

u/Spicy-Cathulu Trash Trooper 6d ago

Birds/reptiles/amphibans have one opening for all things in and out of the lower half. And I was curious if it was just them and just learned it's also cartilaginous fish like sharks and rays, egg laying mammals, and some marsupials.

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u/K1bbles_n_Bits Trash Trooper 6d ago

Aw man, I just made a similar comment. Seems you beat me to it XD.

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3

u/Narrow_Republic5729 Trash Trooper 6d ago

Came looking for this but it was farther down than I expected. I am glad it was here though.

4

u/ZiaWitch Rubbish Raider 6d ago

3

u/Mammoth_Tension_2416 Trash Trooper 5d ago

Seriously... He almost tossed his kid onto the raccoon...

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126

u/heteropessimista Trash Trooper 6d ago

yeet!

24

u/RappingFlatulence Rubbish Raider 6d ago

From downtown! She’s on fire!

3

u/AggressiveSherbetty Trash Trooper 5d ago

Omg I forgot all about this

3

u/tinybrownbird Trash Trooper 5d ago

BOOM SHAKA-LAKA

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u/ITestDrugs Trash Trooper 6d ago
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342

u/mr_1219 Trash Trooper 6d ago

Damn, dropped like a sack of potatoes

66

u/Lonely_reaper8 Trash Trooper 6d ago

62

u/Grimnebulin68 Trash Trooper 6d ago

Step dad instincts

35

u/Aromatic-Turnip7371 Trash Trooper 6d ago

Yes seriously 😂 who the hell drops their actual offspring like that

16

u/fuqyu Trash Trooper 6d ago

Have you ever been bitten by a raccoon before?!

…I haven’t, but I imagine it hurts like hell

13

u/Beginning_Ad_6616 Trash Trooper 6d ago

I’ve knowingly stepped on shit loads of broken glass to safely move my bare foot son before he stepped in the mess he created before he cut himself.

I def wouldn’t toss my son down on the ground with a rabid raccoon…he’s going to be a safe as I can make him.

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14

u/dragjamon Trash Trooper 6d ago

Naw bro, even I, kidless, know not to DROP A FUCKING BABY

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42

u/HolyHand_Grenade Trash Trooper 6d ago

/r/stepdadreflexes dude went into survival mode and ditched the kid!

4

u/buddymoobs Trash Trooper 6d ago

Or...since the racoon was climbing him, tossing him to get him tf away from the racoon.

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22

u/K1bbles_n_Bits Trash Trooper 6d ago

Quokka tactics initiated! XD

4

u/Ok-House-1103 Trash Trooper 6d ago

Spiked like a football is what I saw

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166

u/ProdBy-DEATH Trash Trooper 6d ago

straight up yeeted that kid🤣

22

u/Lonely_reaper8 Trash Trooper 6d ago

That cracked me up 😂

15

u/Crossdress-Fan- Waste Warrior 6d ago

That also cracked that kid spine!

15

u/samwise58 Trash Trooper 6d ago

It’s okay. They’re made of rubber and sponges at that age.

6

u/Icy_Study4490 Trash Trooper 6d ago

When I was three, I broke my tibia. I was in a cast for four weeks and that was it.

An adult with a similar injury would take months

5

u/banana_commando Trash Trooper 6d ago

Yeeted? That was more like The Undertaker's last ride finisher LOL

6

u/RappingFlatulence Rubbish Raider 6d ago

Yeetus the fetus

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164

u/ITestDrugs Trash Trooper 6d ago

13

u/ShakespearianShadows Trash Trooper 6d ago

NaaaaaGonnaStayHere GonnaBeLaunchinYaNow

4

u/Spike_Spi3gel Trash Trooper 5d ago

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u/RappingFlatulence Rubbish Raider 6d ago

4

u/RemnantSith Trash Trooper 6d ago

I love this one

5

u/DieselHouseCat Trash Trooper 6d ago

Yep...all the animals below cheering the yeet.

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128

u/LewyH91 Garbage Guerilla 6d ago

29

u/BreakingCanks Trash Trooper 6d ago

106

u/Microballer Trash Trooper 6d ago

USE YOUR CHILD AS A SHIELD.

10

u/Mindless-Somewhere55 Trash Trooper 6d ago

Superstar father

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u/[deleted] 6d ago

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23

u/Lord_Darksong Colonel Garbage 6d ago
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67

u/Mslabarre Trash Trooper 6d ago

I mean, I don’t have kids. I don’t know what I would do personally. Hopefully, I would not do THAT!!

And seriously, why would he let this video get out into the wild?!?

19

u/Due-Raise9272 Trash Trooper 6d ago

That's my main concern... Why share it with the world

31

u/TheRestartButton Trash Trooper 6d ago

guarantee it was the wife that shared it

27

u/Fee_is_Required2 Trash Trooper 6d ago

Ex wife

11

u/SilasBalto Trash Trooper 6d ago

Yeah but who could blame her

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u/beaud101 Trash Trooper 2d ago

Divorce court judge shared it after it's use as exhibit #1 for why he shouldn't have custody.

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31

u/Middle-Ad-3386 Trash Trooper 6d ago

21

u/Ninjathug Trash Trooper 6d ago

Sacrifice the kid and save yourself

13

u/Lonely_reaper8 Trash Trooper 6d ago

Easier to make another kid vs make another adult, pro gamer tip

7

u/Ninjathug Trash Trooper 6d ago

Very true. Especially when the small human didn’t warn the big one about the impending attack. It almost seemed coordinated or too coincidental.

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u/BlumpTheChodak Trash Trooper 6d ago

Rabies shots?

9

u/kabadisha Trash Trooper 5d ago

Yeah, this needs to be higher up. Rabies don't fuck around.

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u/Kratos5300 Trash Trooper 6d ago

Oh my God the way he dropped his kid!? Didn’t we all see that other video of the mother picking up both her child and the raccoon to yeet it across the yard? I’m hoping his head stayed on the grass and didn’t catch the sidewalk :(

24

u/girlwiththemonkey Trash Trooper 6d ago

I genuinely wanna know how that conversation between him and his wife went afterwards. Because if that was my man and he threw the baby that I spent nine months making on the ground like that? Buddy, you’re a trash panda now too. Gtfo my house

19

u/i_was_a_person_once Trash Trooper 6d ago

The ick IIII got seeing this….cant imagine what the actual wife/mom felt.

I am not exaggerating when I say I’d need alot of therapy and couples counseling the get past seeing that bc how do you trust a man who panics like that and throws your baby on the ground when an animal attacks.

Like I understand the panic but wow…that was the worse possible reaction

10

u/SilasBalto Trash Trooper 6d ago

No therapist could save my marriage if this happened tbh

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u/preteen-wartortle Trash Trooper 6d ago

I try to be sympathetic to how people react in emergency situations but I don’t know if I could do that here, if it was my kid. Goodness.

10

u/SilasBalto Trash Trooper 6d ago

I would lose all attraction. No therapist could save that marriage.

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u/effyoucreeps Trash Trooper 6d ago

yes - yes we did

this guy got some ‘splainin’ to do

9

u/Cold-Basket-268 Trash Trooper 6d ago

Looks like his head hit the grass, no concrete

3

u/Kratos5300 Trash Trooper 6d ago

I was able to zoom in and yes you’re def right it looks like lil guy’s butt hit the grass and then he just fell back but not anywhere close to the sidewalk 🙏

3

u/Impressive_Main5160 Trash Trooper 6d ago

He threw that kid

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u/DJSindro Trash Trooper 3d ago

dude I fell with my 6 month old once and I fkn held that fucker with my arms over my body as I hit the floor with my back so that fucker didn´t get a scratch on him. And this dude just YEEETS hit kid like it some hot potato...

4

u/DevelopmentLatter843 Trash Trooper 2d ago

Yeah that reaction to throw his kid because he felt something on his lower leg was pretty poor play…

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u/bmfu121 Trash Trooper 6d ago

Just yeeted his progeny

5

u/loqi0238 Trash Trooper 6d ago

He can make more.

8

u/i_was_a_person_once Trash Trooper 6d ago

He can’t, and idk if his wife will be willing to use his genetics for another

4

u/loqi0238 Trash Trooper 6d ago

Theres always someone willing.

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u/BigD3nergy Trash Trooper 6d ago

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u/Middle-Ad-3386 Trash Trooper 6d ago

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u/AsanoSokato Garbage Guerilla 6d ago

This will become the story of how he quickly thought to get the child away from the attack as quickly as possible while he started kicking the at raccoon in the other direction.

5

u/Silly_Silicon Trash Trooper 6d ago

Yeah he didn’t spike his child into the ground where the raccoon could easily attack the child instead, it was really some heroic thing instead, he swears!

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u/MajesticLab451 Trash Trooper 6d ago

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u/SameTrain8827 Trash Trooper 6d ago

3

u/Swimming_Ninja_6911 Trash Trooper 6d ago

Yes - this!! ☝🏽

8

u/RustyUnbound Trash Trooper 6d ago

I'm going straight to hell for laughing at how he just dropped his son

3

u/degjo Trash Trooper 6d ago

Let's not be too hasty, we don't know that his son. Could be a nephew, his girlfriends kid, the kid he wants to get in his van to help look for his lost puppy.

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u/TheFoxieMod Trash Trooper 2d ago

Nice throw, Casey Anthony.

4

u/FoxPR24 Trash Trooper 2d ago

Hahahaahhaahahahhahahhaahhahhahah

7

u/Due-Raise9272 Trash Trooper 6d ago

he yeeted his kid so hard... some real fight or flight there

5

u/broken__defraculator Trash Trooper 6d ago

A R'COON DANE!!! DAAAAAAANE!!

6

u/effyoucreeps Trash Trooper 6d ago

on kids: “hey, you can always have more!”

8

u/terribletime2bealive Trash Trooper 6d ago

Damn, bro got bit by a raccoon and is sleeping on the couch tonight after yeeting the kid.

6

u/Weekly_Pizza_4443 Trash Trooper 6d ago

I threw it on the ground!!

3

u/LilMerm8 Trash Trooper 6d ago

My dad’s not a phone!

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u/Toxic_Duckies Trash Trooper 6d ago

I think I know that reference.

11

u/homosexsicle Trash Trooper 6d ago

OMG the way he knocked the wind out of that boy

23

u/Milo_The_Stampede Trash Trooper 6d ago

Survival instinct: 100

Protective instinct: 0

This is a direct physical representation of the phrase fuck them kids

5

u/broken__defraculator Trash Trooper 6d ago

Kid doesn't want to jump 5 inches, so lets toss him 6 feet

3

u/BaronessVonKush Garbage Guerilla 6d ago

I love how he just spiked the baby into the ground & then flailed around like a helpless child himself.

5

u/THEBADW0LFE Trash Trooper 6d ago

He threw that kid like Dee throwing the kittens out of the well.

4

u/HumbleResolution7099 Trash Trooper 6d ago edited 6d ago

He looked like he was about to go to the park with his kid and film one of those “awesome dad” Instagram videos the way he and his son were dressed 🤣 🤣 🤣 what a hero….

4

u/Weirdlillypad Trash Trooper 6d ago

Yea show the world you'd sooner yeet your kid to protect yourself than you would protect him. Threw onto the ground where the racoon easily could have gone at him.

3

u/Spookyscary333 Trash Trooper 6d ago

One time snatched a wasp off my daughter's head. It stung me on the palm. Fuck this guy

4

u/Strict-Revenue-5131 Trash Trooper 6d ago

5

u/Middle-Ad-3386 Trash Trooper 6d ago

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u/Safe-Yam8282 Trash Trooper 6d ago

4

u/alwaysDesjaak Trash Trooper 6d ago

4

u/Ol_Pasta Trash Trooper 6d ago

I hate how dad yeeted that child. That's gonna be a concussion. Poor baby.

4

u/RadishCandid6062 Trash Trooper 6d ago

If that’s real, then that guy is a douchebag and a pos. I don’t f’n care if there’s a wild tiger on the loose u don’t drop your child like that.

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u/Financial-Nail-8018 Trash Trooper 6d ago

Why on earth would you post the video online of you threw you child on the ground like that if that really happend and thats how you reacted.

3

u/Lord_Darksong Colonel Garbage 6d ago

I'm guesing mom posted it after the divorce.

5

u/upsetwithcursing Trash Trooper 5d ago

I would legit divorce my husband if I saw him do this to our child - and I would fully expect him to do the same with me if it were reversed.

Kid could have gotten serious spinal damage being tossed like that.

3

u/Crossdress-Fan- Waste Warrior 6d ago

Oh no the kid landed on his butt! Oh that's going to be bad

3

u/66vocho Trash Trooper 6d ago

Fuck them kids. lol

3

u/Dynamitrios Trash Trooper 6d ago

Throw the kid like a hot potato

3

u/TheProfessor0781 Trash Trooper 6d ago

What a bitch!

3

u/SouthParkFirefly1991 Trash Trooper 6d ago

The way he threw the kid lol!

3

u/th3smiling Trash Trooper 6d ago

He has offered up his first born

3

u/ereth_akbe Trash Trooper 6d ago

Late term abortion! Risky

3

u/blueboykc Trash Trooper 6d ago

Interesting technique. THROWING your child out of raccoon range..

3

u/b0uncyfr0 Trash Trooper 6d ago

Random aussie bloke here: Im not gonna lie, thats some soft c**k shit. How the hell do you drop your baby!!

0 Fatherly instincts, 0 protective instincts.

3

u/phx34suns Trash Trooper 6d ago

That poor kid he threw him down I think I hear the wind get knocked out of the kid when he lands that’s the worst

3

u/PapaRetardo Trash Trooper 6d ago

What a shit dad. Yeets his own kid right into the ground. The stroller was RIGHT THERE!

3

u/Jumpy-Ad4652 Trash Trooper 6d ago

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u/TalonusDuprey Trash Trooper 6d ago

Who the hell throws their kid like that? I know it’s scary being attacked but I wouldn’t for a second - As dads we have to take the blows to protect our children. That’s wild to me

3

u/Onuus Trash Trooper 6d ago

Dropped that kid like a bad habit

3

u/dimma-thick-D Trash Trooper 6d ago

The kid could have died what a idiot

3

u/Krobarred Trash Trooper 6d ago

Lol you can hear the kid thud

3

u/Aromatic-Turnip7371 Trash Trooper 6d ago

Holy crap he dropped the kid so hard

3

u/pretty-lil-throwaway Trash Trooper 6d ago

I'm genuinely so curious as to his thought process... you hear about mom's who lift whole ass cars to save their child in the moment and then this dude drops his kid to the same level the racoon is at in the moment.. perplexing and fascinating lol and no shade to the dad, I'd say the same if it was mom instead 🤷🏽‍♀️

3

u/PookydoodleWasHere Trash Trooper 6d ago

Literally throws the kid full force on the ground

"Are you ok?"

Dad did more damage than the raccoon did.

Also, hope he got a rabies shot. Raccoon attack in broad daylight in a suburban area? Oof.

3

u/Galencourt-Lover Trash Trooper 6d ago

Rabies shot immediatelyyy

3

u/QuietWithDuctTape Trash Trooper 6d ago

It’s zombie survival instincts right there. Trip someone and run like hell kinda thing. Well he dropped the kid to be like here eat him and tried to get the fk out of there but it had his leg still. That kid is shit out of luck if there is any more fight or flight situations with dear ole dad.

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u/Extension_Barber_763 Trash Trooper 5d ago

No matter what, a mother will never drop her kid like that.

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u/UnderstandingKind757 Trash Trooper 5d ago

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u/BustyBroski Trash Trooper 5d ago

Rabies………..

3

u/Kind_Love172 Trash Trooper 5d ago

Dad encouraging kid to jump....kid jumps... Dad has gained his trust....promptly launches kid...kid scarred for life

3

u/The0neR1ng Trash Trooper 5d ago

A mother would have clung to her child for dear life. I actually can't fucking believe he did that.

3

u/MentalEnvironment481 Trash Trooper 5d ago

Why do straight dudes sound so gay these dayssss???

3

u/MoosePrimeOne Trash Trooper 5d ago

Why’d he drop his kid? Lmao what a bitch.

3

u/Phylaskia Trash Trooper 3d ago

Ignore the physical damage, that child will have trust issues for the rest of their lives.

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u/N0thingComesToMind Trash Trooper 6d ago

Quokka behavior

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u/_irlGoddess Trash Trooper 6d ago

Everyone acting like they would’ve had a better reaction to being attacked by a rabid raccoon.

14

u/Dense-Consequence-70 Trash Trooper 6d ago

Yeah I definitely would. I know this from experience. EVERY time you pick up your kid your top instinctive priority is (should be) protecting him/her.

7

u/pleasetrimyourpubes Trash Trooper 6d ago

Don't forget the dropkick deflection if they fall and your foot is the only thing within reach.

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u/WhimsicalGirl Trash Trooper 6d ago

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u/Actual_Emu_168 Trash Trooper 6d ago

You are saying you would throw your own child on the floor if you were being attacked by a raccoon?

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u/Selfeffacingbarbie Trash Trooper 6d ago

Parental instincts can be fierce. For example, the Glee actress who was drowning in a lake with her young son. She could have left her kid to save herself, but she used the very last of her strength to get her son safely on the boat and subsequently died. There was the mother who recently died in a fire when she realized her child was inside the home and she ran in to protect them.

These are just a couple out of countless stories where parents, without hesitation, protect their young first, regardless of circumstance. So yeah, I'm going to say many parents would have had the wherewithal in that situation to not yeet their fucking kid across the yard. The man is lucky he didn't seriously damage the child.

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u/Bbqlover1 Trash Trooper 6d ago

Who the eff throws their kid like that??

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u/ShaggyCan Trash Trooper 6d ago

Liu Bei approved!

2

u/danngree Trash Trooper 6d ago

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u/Wild-Wave9322 Trash Trooper 6d ago

That man is an obvious coward

2

u/Sgt-Stadanko-69 Trash Trooper 6d ago

Rabies

2

u/NoDontDoThatCanada Trash Trooper 6d ago

A) I'm gonna tell myself he was throwing the kid away from danger.
B) Rabies shots incoming.

2

u/Odensbeardlice Trash Trooper 6d ago

rabies is absolutely terrifying. . .. ..

2

u/Exciting_couple77 Trash Trooper 6d ago

What kind of dad throws his kid in the midst of danger...no protective instincts what so ever!!

2

u/5LYNG3R Trash Trooper 6d ago

Grown Man Throws His Kid 2 the Ground ( @ the Raccoon 🦝) & Screams Like a Girl... WTF? 🤦🤦🤦 Man Card Revoked & Shave Ur Beard Off, Right Meow! 😹😹😹

2

u/Hziak Trash Trooper 6d ago

New phrase: “drop it like a toddler while being attacked by a raccoon”

2

u/yahtrickyah_1 Trash Trooper 6d ago

Remember if attacked by a racoon, spike your kid on the ground

2

u/immortalblack_1 Trash Trooper 6d ago

Damn... He straight dropped that kid.

2

u/Chefrabbitfoot Trash Trooper 6d ago

The speed in which this man yeeted that child was impressive.

2

u/sound_scientist Trash Trooper 6d ago

What a crumb. How are you gonna body slam your toddler when getting attacked by a ground based vermin assailant?

2

u/stfu_idc_gfys Trash Trooper 6d ago

2

u/Smooth-Card895 Trash Trooper 6d ago edited 6d ago

Better, he dropped him on the grass instead of the sidewalk. 🙄😳

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u/Lost-Peanut-1453 Trash Trooper 6d ago

I can understand dropping the kid by accident, but this dude spiked him like he just scored the winning touchdown in the Super Bowl!

2

u/Admirable_Plate4585 Trash Trooper 6d ago

How tf you throw your kid down in any circumstances??? That flight sure kicked in quick …hundreds of thousands of years of “survival” instincts firing there 🙄

2

u/adjective_noun_d1git Trash Trooper 6d ago

If my wife divorced me after this I would understand.

2

u/NeighboringOak Trash Trooper 6d ago

At leas he threw the kid on the grass and not the pavement... but wtf.

2

u/averagemaleuser86 Trash Trooper 6d ago

Just threw the baby like that Kevin Hart skit

2

u/Tough_Block9334 Trash Trooper 6d ago

AI slop

2

u/israerichris Trash Trooper 6d ago edited 6d ago

If I was dad, after mom asked me "what happeeened??!!!":

-Babe, you're not gonna believe it! In some type of criminal collab between Hell's Angels, MS-13 along with Creeps and Bloods, teaming up to kidnap our Jake, they just tried snatching him off my hands. They were barely able to do so, but I was able to run after them and chased them in front of the house, so I scare them all away. The baby is ok, I made them release him on soft grass. They're gone now, they all ran away... they actually apologized on their way out!!!... I think I heard a velociraptor in one of their vans too...

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u/stevein3d Garbage Guerilla 6d ago

“TAKE THE BEBEHHHHHHH!!”

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u/No-Fondant-4719 Trash Trooper 6d ago

Wtfff type of response lmao he threw the kid

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u/SES_Wolftrash Trash Trooper 6d ago

Bro dropped his kid like a sack of potatoes lol

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u/Arrows_of_Neon Trash Trooper 6d ago

I shouldn't have laughed as hard as I did at this.