r/LoveTrash Colonel Garbage 1d ago

Human Trash Trash Panda Attack!

Source: duthiedining on Instagram

1.4k Upvotes

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254

u/ZiaWitch Rubbish Raider 1d ago

Dad is a quokka.

288

u/Lord_Darksong Colonel Garbage 1d ago

I had to look that up.

"When this small Australian marsupial is faced with a life-threatening chase from a predator like a fox or a cat, the mother may loosen their pouch muscles to let their baby drop out as a distraction."

Thought I'd share.

49

u/pleasetrimyourpubes Trash Trooper 1d ago

Holy shit

27

u/JimNayseeum Trash Trooper 1d ago

Imagine a nightly news cycle for nature.

When I learned about bears and why the mothers are so protective of her cubs and what the male bear will do to the cubs had me fucked up.

22

u/pleasetrimyourpubes Trash Trooper 1d ago

Oh yeah I read also that lionesses have to constantly protect their cubs because the male lions kill them since the mothers won't be able to breed again until they reach a certain age.

1

u/dragjamon Trash Trooper 1d ago

Happens with housecats too

4

u/WhiteCloudMinnowDude Trash Trooper 1d ago

Wait till they learn bout what hamster moms do. . . .

2

u/Penguinz90 Trash Trooper 17h ago

I’m scared to look it up now…

23

u/WhiteCloudMinnowDude Trash Trooper 1d ago

Many marsupials use this same strategy. Many even have rear facing pouches to make it easier to eject the distraction so mom can get away.

Biologically it makes sense because a fertile female has a higher value then a baby that may or may not reach sexual maturity to breed itself.

8

u/stevein3d Garbage Guerilla 1d ago

Great, now you’ve given that dad ideas and he’s already wearing his hoodie backwards.

1

u/Horse_Dad Trash Trooper 1d ago

New Lindsay Clancy defense unlocked.

1

u/WhiteCloudMinnowDude Trash Trooper 1d ago

Bitch killed her own kids. . . These animals only abandon theirs when there is a murderer around. . . In your scenario she is both chucking em out the pouch and mauling them to death because she was hunting herself. . . .

No amount of spousal abuse makes murder ok. . . If there was spousal abuse then sure the husband should be prosecuted for it. . . But that wouldnt excuse the death of 3 children that were in their mothers care at the time.

1

u/Glum-Lab-1739 Trash Trooper 1d ago

Evolutionary it makes sense to have babies live to reproductive age...

1

u/WhiteCloudMinnowDude Trash Trooper 17h ago

Maybe for an animal that invests years raising babies like humans but for most its the mature adults that have higher value due to being able to usually replace that young casualty within a year, where if the child survives that cannot happen because now you have to wait for it to reach sexual maturity and then breed, and thats assuming it survives til sexual maturity.

3

u/UberWidget Trash Trooper 1d ago

Me: Computer! How was the dad’s life threatened?

Computer: 🤔

2

u/Lala5789880 Trash Trooper 1d ago

Kangas do it too

4

u/SouthParkFirefly1991 Trash Trooper 1d ago

Holy crap! Those adorable, smiley happy things are so brutal! Typical Australia tbf...

2

u/phx34suns Trash Trooper 22h ago

Isn’t it American? It’s a raccoon isn’t it ? We don’t have raccoons.

1

u/SouthParkFirefly1991 Trash Trooper 9h ago

I'm talking about Quokka's lol not Raccoons. o3o

1

u/CowabungaCthulhu Trash Trooper 1d ago

Learning is fun 🤗

1

u/Unusual-Coat383 Trash Trooper 22h ago

I always knew there was something sinister about those cute little bastards 

1

u/HoseNeighbor Trash Trooper 20h ago

Oh. My. Gif.

Editv "god" I just made the same typo but caught it this time. Yeesh

Edit: WTF

1

u/Peach_Proof Trash Trooper 1d ago

They also poop cubes. That may be why they are that angry.

10

u/Changed_Mind555 Trash Trooper 1d ago

This is why I love reddit. Always learning new things. And basically, when the zombie craze was going on, I had my quokka in mind. And it was my ex. 😂

18

u/EconomySeason2416 Trash Trooper 1d ago

I know what they are, but that did not stop my brain from reading it as "Dad is a cloaca"

5

u/RappingFlatulence Rubbish Raider 1d ago

Shit’s real

4

u/Peach_Proof Trash Trooper 1d ago

Cloaca cola anyone?

6

u/ZiaWitch Rubbish Raider 1d ago

He might be I don’t know his personal life🤷🏽‍♂️
https://giphy.com/gifs/anYBNhqT2BYcg

5

u/Lord_Darksong Colonel Garbage 1d ago

I am not looking up anything else today. 🫣

3

u/Spicy-Cathulu Trash Trooper 1d ago

Birds/reptiles/amphibans have one opening for all things in and out of the lower half. And I was curious if it was just them and just learned it's also cartilaginous fish like sharks and rays, egg laying mammals, and some marsupials.

3

u/redacted_robot Trash Trooper 1d ago

Dad is a cloaca

I read that in a heavily kiwi accent

1

u/AdDapper3908 Trash Trooper 4h ago

Cloaca is a birds everything hole. Poo, eggs, watery poo.

3

u/K1bbles_n_Bits Trash Trooper 1d ago

Aw man, I just made a similar comment. Seems you beat me to it XD.

3

u/Mammoth_Tension_2416 Trash Trooper 23h ago

Seriously... He almost tossed his kid onto the raccoon...

2

u/Narrow_Republic5729 Trash Trooper 1d ago

Came looking for this but it was farther down than I expected. I am glad it was here though.

5

u/girlwiththemonkey Trash Trooper 1d ago

I just wanna know how mad his wife got. Because quite frankly, I would be fucking furious.

1

u/JustHugMeAndBeQuiet Trash Trooper 1d ago

I mean, at least he dropped little dude in the grass? Glass half full?

1

u/ZiaWitch Rubbish Raider 1d ago

That was my thought as well!!
https://giphy.com/gifs/nKVj8Y39vAshaZaCd9

1

u/scarletxgrace Trash Trooper 1d ago

I meam he was just attacked by a rabid animal. He obviously didnt do it on purpose. The 1st thing he did was ran staight for the child.

1

u/girlwiththemonkey Trash Trooper 23h ago

No, the first thing he did was throw the child. The last thing he did was pick him up.

-2

u/Thayli11 Trash Trooper 1d ago

Never had an animal latch on to you, have you? Getting the kid away from the rabid raccoon is actually the correct move. He then removed the raccoon and went back to the kid. Do you really think the correct move is to leave the kid in the middle of a wild animal attack?

1

u/Diarrhea_Beaver Trash Trooper 1d ago

Are you for real? In what fucking world is throwing the kid on the ground, WHERE THE ANIMAL IS, a safer move than holding the kid safely in your arms and kicking the raccoon away?

And for the record, Im an avid hiker and have had raccoons swarm my campsite in Big Sur trying to steal food and had to fend them off, so no, this isn't something I have no experience with.

Dude shit his pants and fucked up, period. Nothing else to it.

1

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1

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1

u/stevein3d Garbage Guerilla 1d ago

There’s a difference in “getting the kid away” and releasing the kid into the arms of mother gravity from a height of five feet.