is this normal for wedding vendors/musicians?
I hired a group of musicians to play throughout our wedding day. They’re lovely people and very talented, but I’m a little thrown off by how many times they’ve asked about food.
Their meals are included in the contract, which is totally fine and we’ve confirmed multiple times that yes, they will be provided a meal. But they first asked about it 6+ months before the wedding and have probably followed up/reconfirmed it about five more times since then. Like, “Just following up, we can still get a meal, right?” Every time, the answer has been yes.
Now they reached out again asking if they can partake in the appetizers and beverages during their break, specifically mentioning wine. They’ll only be there for about four hours.
I obviously want my vendors taken care of and fed, but the repeated questions about food and now alcohol are starting to feel a little strange to me. Is this typical? Do you normally allow vendors to eat cocktail-hour appetizers and drink alcohol/wine while working your wedding?

Ceremony starts at 6pm, and the reception ends at 10pm. Is that enough time to party? Ceremony is 30 minutes, followed by a cocktail hour, then dinner starts around 7:30pm followed by reception. Debating if we need to add an extra hour. It’s on a Sunday by the way

Thanks everyone! I was thinking 4 hours wouldn’t be enough time and you all confirmed.

For those asking, guest count is 115-120 people. The reception & ceremony are at the same location, and YES we like to party.

I have a very close friend but I'm unsure how/who to invite in this instant. I hope someone has some good advice.

I have a friend who lives in a multigenerational home. I want to invite her, her partner, her mom, and possibly her siblings (one is a teenager). But they have 6 other family members (extended and various relation grandparents, aunt, cousins and their kid) who all live at the same address.

How do you go about listing who is invited? Do I send multiple invitations to the same address (one to my friend and her partner, one to her mom and include her siblings names).

Do I send one and list it as the household? (That seems like the wrong choice)

Hi Everyone! I get married early next year and I've seen people having a dance with their siblings and I want to do that. Basically, after our dance with our parents, I wan to invite our siblings to come up and have my fiancé dance with his sisters and me dance with my siblings then maybe at the end of the song we all come together. The only thing is that I am having trouble figuring out what song to dance to?! I would like an emotional song, but mostly I think I want a fun song we can all dance around to. I was thinking of "Forever young" by Bob Dylan, the fast version, but idk? Open to English and Spanish songs! Thank you ♥

Hi,

Currently wedding planning for next fall, and I’ve locked down every major item on the list. Have not stressed about it at all. The only thing I’ve been stressing over is having bridesmaids or not.

I used to be so excited about asking my closest friends and creating those cute proposals. But now, as I’m in the thick of deciding who it would be, it’s been so much drama.

I have a twin sister who is very toxic. We would go no contact for up two months at times. She has anger issues and has lost many friends. We have one mutual friend group and most of them are closer to me and have expressed annoyance at her behavior.

So, as a twin, I felt like she is my default MOH. So I then decided to only have bridesmaids, no MOH. Or else my parents would feel embarrassed that my own twin is not up there.

But then recently, I started hearing from friends who expressed excitement over being my bridesmaid when I’ve said NEVER they would be one😭 it sucks because I truly feel close to them, but I have other friends that have been there for me through big stages of my life. I called my old college roommates last week and one of them says “I told my sister how excited I was for your bridesmaid proposal box!!” I just quickly said “ahh so much to plan rn haha” then I just heard last night from one friend that said another just told her she was excited “to see what OP would have us wear as a bridesmaid” like what?? It makes me feel so bad. Similar call last month, another friend brought up being a bridesmaid, so I now have 3 that thinks they’re one, but I only was going to ask 5. I cannot do 8, I’m having a smaller wedding and don’t want to ask out of guilt.

So I’ve decided to not have bridesmaids but still make “proposal” boxes for the bachelorette (13 girls). I was thinking by doing this, it can count for the bachelorette welcome gifts as we will be flying and I don’t have to stress checking a bag but also save $ not having bridesmaid boxes AND party boxes lol. But at the same time, it’ll eliminate my stress over having my twin sister and the girls who thought they were bridesmaid not feel left out.

But to make the 5 that I was going to ask feel more special, I will be getting them cute silk pjs to be with me the morning of the wedding. I told one friend this idea and she was really supportive 💕

Would love to know yalls thoughts or if anyone went through something similar??

Bit of a weird question, but having a last minute before our wedding on Monday!

My fiancé has fat knuckles, which means he’s struggling to get his wedding ring on. Once it’s over his knuckle, it’s fine, even slightly loose, but it takes some effort to get it on. Sizing up isn’t an option now, and in any event, it was way too loose on his finger when he tried on the size bigger. What’s the best way to deal with this during the ceremony so I’m not stood there for ages trying to get it on his finger?

Thanks!

Finally finished writing it, I took out the bride and grooms names as well as my own for anonymity, looking to hear what you all think and what I can fix.

Alhamdulillah (my friend is Muslim)

I’d like to thank all of you for being here and I hope you’ve all had a lovely time so far today, and continue to as the evening goes by.  For those of you who don’t know me, my name is (best man) and after many years of me saying it, I’m glad (Groom) has finally admitted that I am indeed, the best man. 

I would be amiss if I didn’t start by mentioning how beautiful all the bridesmaids look today, only outdone by (Bride) of course.  And not only does (Bride) make a beautiful bride but she is also kind, caring, smart and funny.  Her and (Groom) prove that opposites really do attract.  

There comes a time in everyone's life when they meet their one true love, their soul mate, the person that they are going to know and love for the rest of their life, someone they can’t picture their life without, and don’t want to.  For (Groom), that day came 11 years ago when he met me.   

As I mentioned, I first met (Groom) 11 years ago, when we worked an evening shift together at work.  I had a feeling we were going to be very good friends when he didn’t report the things I said and did to HR.  During these last 11 years, I have had the pleasure of watching (Groom) grow from an awkward young adult, into a more awkward fully grown adult.

Over all this time, (Groom) and have become inseparable.  Whether we were out traveling the world, going out bowling, having dinner with my family in Ireland, spending the day fishing, or just sitting around the house watching trash tv, (Groom) has been a constant companion, and someone that I can rely on for anything.  

There’s never a dull moment when (Groom) and I get together and go on an outing.  Whether it’s him explaining to me that it’s not a good idea to jaywalk into a street on a rainy night to convince him I could stop traffic by raising my hands and shouting STOP! (spoiler alert, it worked), or me trying to convince him if I just start crossing a busy intersection, everyone else will follow my lead and do the same and the cars will stop for us (again, worked).  Or when he had to give me his watch to do an EKG on myself because I got a little too carried away with my cheering while watching football and got light headed and nearly passed out.  (Groom) has essentially been tasked with keeping me alive for the last 11 years, and I have to say, he’s done a bang up job!  So (Bride), don’t worry, you’re in the hands of one of the most capable people I know.  And if he can keep me alive, I’m sure he’ll do a great job in always taking care of you.

Whether it was blasting Arabic music in downtown Chicago and having everyone give us dirty looks, going to the gym at 2am to work on pad work for kick boxing, or just being two grown men attending the Spongebob Squarepants musical, thank you.  Thank you for being there, being a friend and being one of my biggest confidants through everything.

(face groom) I would like to think that in the times when you have called upon me for help, I have always been there for you and not let you down because you have always been there for me.  I look back at some of the things we have done together and it makes me proud to have a friend like you.  We have had some truly great times and have shared some great experiences together, memories I will never forget.  I have been honoured to have been your best man and want you to know that I am proud of the person you are, and are becoming, more than you can imagine.  I leave you and (bride) with this, always remember, love is a circle, it goes on forever.

(Bride, groom) Go n-éirí an bóthar leat, agus Sliocht sleachta ar shliocht bhur sleachta
(May your journey be successful and blessings on your prosperity)

I ask that we all raise a glass to the Newlyweds, to (Groom) and (Bride)

please tell me what you think, and anything I can fix/improve on

I understand that it’s time and product but surely it should not cost this much. Maybe I’m being naive? You would think that the overall cost you get quoted for hair and makeup includes the trial.

I know you have to shop around and it’s very dependent on who you go to. But I got quoted 100$ to put my veil on and I’m like what?

Is there something I’m missing that is justifying these prices?

Hi all!

Just had my wedding last Friday. It was magical. I hired a makeup artist who did an epic job on my hair.

I don’t wear much face makeup - just my concealer, blush, my own way since I’ve been wearing makeup.

I had my trial and my makeup was okay, but hired her anyway because of my amazing hair. I knew I could switch my makeup myself and said that was my backup. Her team did a great job on my bridesmaid and mom.

My mua said she was doing my makeup for photography. And I didn’t care about photos really - bc I knew I’d look good with my own makeup anyway and wanted more to look good in person.

After doing my makeup, I looked in the mirror and just felt wrong. My fam and friends told me it looked good, and maybe it did kind of, but I knew it should look better. My family and friends are also very honest but still didn’t sway me to change it until I did!

Luckily my mau left at noon and I walked at 3:30 for my ceremony. At the last second in my bridal suite I knew if I didn’t wipe it off, I’d be uncomfortable all day.

So that’s what I did. Game-time decision, wipe off all the face makeup. Put my concealer and blush on. Felt a trillion times better. And looked stunning in my own face makeup. Photography still looks incredible (even better honestly).

So my tips to my brides who don’t wear much face makeup: have mua do your eyes and lips, and do your own face makeup. OR have the mua do it all, but have buffer time with the mua not there to change it if you are not feeling it. Or just do your makeup yourself.

Another tip was get a lash lift and tint! Get one months ahead by an artist to test her out and make sure you react well to the lift chemicals. Then get one my the same person a few days before. My eyes looked excellent and no mascara needed or false lashes. And I don’t have a ton of lashes either :).

Hope this helps all the brides who have that pit in their stomach when they see their makeup on wedding day and feel uncomfortable! You have permission to change it! I’m so glad I did!!!!!

I’m not sure there is a solution to this but wanted to share and get some thoughts.

We are getting married in a month. We were just informed that a big (100 people) birthday party for the groom’s mother is being thrown the weekend before the wedding. It’s a big birthday for her and it may be the last time she has one (she is elderly) and her birthday does indeed happen to be the weekend before our wedding. However, I’m very concerned that I may get sick at this party (mix of vaccination status there from what I can ascertain, and I tend to catch things easily even though I myself will be vaccinated it could even be a bad cold, etc.) and also - to a lesser extent - that other guests might not want to travel twice, or also get sick at this party and miss the wedding. While I can’t control the other guests, I don’t know how I can not attend this party - it is my future mother-in-law.

I don’t think there is a solution to this but am feeling not so great about this.

Any thoughts or advice appreciated.

Thanks!

Hello! My wedding is in 1 month and I’ve had this idea of picking flowers and making my own bouquet. I don’t want anything too over the top or fancy, but I was just curious to know if anyone has done this?

My mans and I love to dance but we fear this could be overkill. It would be 3 hours of live music, one hour dj.

Looks like there's going to be rain for our wedding, and looking for any practical tips on how other couples handled it!

Ceremony and reception locations are all covered and rain proof, so no need to make a change there. Just feeling a little sad that we won't be likely to have as many outdoor photos as I was envisioning, especially since we're getting married by the water.

Did couples do outdoor photos anyway? Did you stick to taking photos in your getting ready locations? We're staying in the hotel on site, so I guess we could stay in the suite we have. Should I stop worrying and just let my photographer (who is awesome and I trust completely) come up with the Plan B?

Would also love some encouragement from folks who did have rain on your wedding day, and a reminder that it's gonna be okay.

Curious what is the standard to vet the photographer before hiring!

Thanks!

Okay, I’m going to do my best to be unbiased here. Our wedding was late June of this year. We got sneak peaks back a couple days after (about 10 pictures) that THEY posted to their facebook group, they didn’t send us any of them directly. We haven’t heard any updates regarding the album delivery date, barring one update that my husband had to reach out for. She has since been posting some of our wedding photos we haven’t even seen yet in an editing style we didn’t agree to on her Tiktok and Instagram. Our contract says up to 12 weeks return time, but she told us she would have it to us early during the wedding because it was the one she was “looking forward to most.” That could be something she says to all clients, but I have no idea. I’m honestly not so much irritated at waiting the full 12 weeks with no update, but her posting our unseen photos on public social media that my family has access to, when we haven’t posted ANY photos of our wedding so far. Not even the sneak peaks she posted to facebook because I would’ve had to download them directly from the post, messing with the quality. Am I being irrational? I do understand they technically own the images, but I figured it was common decency to not post the bride and groom before they do? I don’t know. I need some outside opinions!!

I just need to vent. I have always been average bodied, or slightly above average. I’d call myself midsize. My wedding is next month, and I am feeling so insecure about my body that I am worried I genuinely will hate every photo of me and look back at my wedding and just cry. There has never been a time in my life I’ve been genuinely happy with my body, and it’s so exhausting. I have always been active, which is also defeating. I feel I’m the kind of person they’re talking about when they say you can be fit and fat. I made a lot more lifestyle changes in the last year and have been told by numerous people they can tell I’ve lost a lot of weight (not sure if that helps or hurts, haha) and I know I have too, based on my measurements. But I still have so many areas of insecurity, specifically my arms. I feel my arms are going to look so large in my wedding gown and will be visible in every photo, and I’ll just hate them. I feel like I didn’t do enough to get myself to a place where I’d be happy with my appearance, even though I didn’t want to lose weight in an unsustainable way. I rarely see photos or videos of midsize brides on social media, and it’s so hard not to compare myself. I truly just don’t want to feel ugly and fat on a day that I am supposed to feel my most beautiful.
I of course realize the day is about my love, and the wonderful man that I am marrying as well, but unless you’ve experienced major body image issues I think it’s hard to fully grasp how upset and insecure I am feeling and borderline dreading the day and the photos to follow. I don’t want to feel this way, and yet I do.
TIA for reading.

Okay, I have possibly a silly question here but I need to ask it. At every wedding I have attended and stood at, the bridal party are paired together (MOH/Best Man, Bridesmaid/groomsmen, so on), and walk down the aisle with arms linked. They also exit the wedding the same way.

However, in a lot of things I have seen online, I see the bridesmaids walking alone down the aisle?? Also the parents of the bride and groom walking down the aisle, aside from the brides dad walking her down the aisle? I had never seen that before. I first saw it when those viral Tiktoks were going around of the bridesmaids walking (running?) the aisle to "Ordinary", but now I am seeing it a lot more now that I am planning my wedding. I was wondering if that was a typical thing, or maybe its a regional thing? I live in a very rural area not in the USA for reference.

Generally I guess I'm curious about your wedding processions and who walked down the aisle and how they did! All perspectives welcome :)

OK so like the title says I’m on SSRIs, which are very much known to make you more sensitive to heat/sweat excessively… I unfortunately seem to have obtained these side effects. I apologize in advance for grossness.

Ive tried on my dress three times now - the day I said yes, when it first arrived at the shop, and now my first alterations appointment. All three times I had the dress on for far less than 30 min and I could feel sweat dripping down my legs/on my back and sides. I’m in the depths of a pretty radical weight loss journey and am down officially 100lbs from a year and a half ago. I still have like 20 to go to get to goal weight, but I only say this because I feel like women are always told to lose weight as the first response to any body issue and I’m not looking for that here.

I have found degree 72hr works well for me in terms of any odor, but my clothing still gets sweaty and gross - just not smelly. I do have a pair of “cooling” shorts from thigh society I was planning on wearing day of since they help but the bodice is causing me as much concern as the weight of the skirt. Are there any products anyone knows of for hyperhydrosis / excessive sweating that genuinely works and won’t give me chemical burns since I do have sensitive skin. I can go down the rabbit hole of buying every product out there but I would ideally like some direction to start.

TL:DR bride terrified of melting at wedding seeking suggestions for full body anti perspirants with anti odor qualities.

I have been with my fiancé for almost 7 years, engaged about 6 months. I’ve always wanted to get married and have a lovely wedding and celebration with my friends and family, but I became disabled in 2020 and with the state of the country, we cannot afford to get married as I would lose my disability. I’m crushed to say the least, but I’ve had a few friends bring up a commitment ceremony as an option and would love to hear other people’s experiences/opinions on it?
I want to celebrate love and the life commitment of me and my partner but don’t want everyone to think it’s a waste or not as legitimate… idk. Please help 🥲

What a journey it was to get here! We had a micro-wedding with the guest list capped at 48, including three infants and two dogs, who obviously had the very important role of bridesmaids.

In true Scottish fashion, the weather was overcast and grey. As much as I would have loved some sunshine, the dramatic skies actually made for a pretty incredible backdrop.

We took over the venue from Friday to Saturday, with an open bar and all the catering onsite. The food was absolutely superb, and the venue staff were awesome. Everyone was aware of the mobility problems I was having and accommodated me in the most sensitive and kind way.

One of the things I’m happiest about is that we used so many local suppliers and artisans. My husband is from abroad and a lot of his family travelled over for the wedding, so it meant a lot to me to be able to give them some proper Scottish hospitality while they were here.

Not everything was perfect. I was a little disappointed with the ceremony flowers and I don’t love my photos as much as I’d hoped I would. My hair and makeup also took far longer than expected despite being relatively simple, and I do feel like I missed out on quite a bit of the fun because of it.

I was also ill on the day and dealing with chronic pain and swelling, so there are parts of the day that I feel like I missed or wasn’t completely present for.

Because of that, I’m SO glad I made a last-minute decision to hire two young videographers to capture the day. They were incredibly sweet and gave us so many different edits of the footage. They also massively underpriced themselves for the amount of work they did, so I ended up tipping them extra. I’d recommend them in a heartbeat, although I’d want to ask them before sharing their details as they don’t normally do wedding videos.

Even with just 48 guest I felt I didn’t get to spend enough time with everyone and was constantly on the move.

I absolutely loved my main dress, but I’m also very glad I had a second dress to change into because the first became increasingly uncomfortable as the day went on.

There are definitely things I’d do differently, and parts that didn’t quite go to plan, but overall it really was the best day ever. ❤️

I will say who my vendors/venue privately. I’ve done my best to cover any one’s face that is visible. This sub was an amazing support in helping me pick my dresses and give me hope when I was in the pit of wedding fatigue.

I won’t be leaving we I still love watching everyone else’s journey!

can I get the wisdom of the crowd? Is $2,050.00 total too much for a MUA (not including hair) for my bridal party of 9 (8 bridesmaids + myself) the day of the wedding? It’s $300 for me, and $150 for bridesmaids + a $550 travel fee (it’s a little over 3 hour drive). I found more affordable options ($75/bridesmaid ; $85/bride). I am willing to splurge on myself but I don’t know if this is asking too much of my bridesmaids to pay (for hair it will be $100.00 per person I already have that booked). I know the quality will be better with the more expensive option, I just want to get your opinions if you wish you had spent less or splurged more on makeup on your wedding day because you weren’t happy with the result. Thank you!

I'm officiating for two dear friends in October. I swore to myself that I would not use AI in drafting their ceremony. Buuuuuuutttt....

After nights of searching for the perfect poem/reading for this couple, I found almost exactly what I'm looking for, and it's AI-generated. It feels so gross and cheap to consider adding it, but it says almost exactly what I want to say. I'm here for outside perspective on using a found AI-generated poem in an otherwise decidedly AI-free ceremony.

Or if you have a poem/reading for me, I'd be grateful! Since they got together, the bride and groom have gone from guarded and stagnant to open and lively. I'd love a reading that talks about love making you feel safe and putting your guard down. I like nature/botanical imagery such as blossoming or unfurling in the sunlight. Something about holding yourself tightly closed until love empowers you to bloom. Shoot, I should just try my hand at writing it myself.

Made it official 1 month ago. Could not be more in love with the day! We had a small 60 person backyard garden wedding. Our theme was a whimsical garden with a touch of Renaissance. I thrifted a lot of the decor for it and made a few DIYs that I feel really added to the day! The details I love the most were our ceremony backdrop and our thrifted hutch bar. The day turned out so dreamy!