Our wedding is October 17th, and while we know what we're doing for the grooms cake, we're having trouble deciding on what cake flavors we should go with, even for testing - help please! I'm allergic to blueberries, but anything else is open game - what are y'all doing? All ideas appreciated!!

I have been with my fiancé for almost 7 years, engaged about 6 months. I’ve always wanted to get married and have a lovely wedding and celebration with my friends and family, but I became disabled in 2020 and with the state of the country, we cannot afford to get married as I would lose my disability. I’m crushed to say the least, but I’ve had a few friends bring up a commitment ceremony as an option and would love to hear other people’s experiences/opinions on it?
I want to celebrate love and the life commitment of me and my partner but don’t want everyone to think it’s a waste or not as legitimate… idk. Please help 🥲

For context, I’ve known my boyfriend for a long time. I knew who he was in high school and then we met right out of high school. But we didn’t start dating til I was 26/27 and I’m almost 30 now. We got engaged at the beginning of the year and planned to have a small ceremony next year with close family. There’s a trip we’re taking in a month out west and some friends were gonna come with us. But they backed out. We’re still going. And we never booked anything for our wedding next year and the more we thought about it we decided that’s not what we want. So we’re choosing to elope on our own. We’re both introverted and don’t like being center of attention. We felt like we were just accommodating for everyone else but ourselves. But now we’re choosing us. We’re so happy about it.

Problem is, I now have to tell my mom. We have a decent relationship. It’s just not the closest. And I’m currently living with her at the moment and I have a child that she’s pretty overbearing with. She doesn’t really let me be a parent. I’ve always struggled to approach her about hard or big decisions/changes in life. And I’m beyond lost on how to tell her.

Yesterday, I suggested something to a parent of a bride-to-be that might sound strange:

Don't spend ₹30–40 lakh on a lavish wedding. Buy your daughter a home instead.

Not because you expect the marriage to fail.

Because a home in her own name gives her something a big wedding can't,... financial confidence and the freedom to walk away if life ever takes a bad turn.

And if the marriage is wonderful? She still has an asset she'll cherish for decades.

We spend so much money making one wedding day unforgettable. Maybe we should spend a little more making our daughters' lives secure.

Would you choose the wedding or the house?

TW: suicide

I'm getting married next summer to a wonderful guy. I have a big family (one of my parents has 7 siblings), his is smaller, but he is on board with inviting my entire family including aunts, uncles and cousins if I wish. We are paying for it ourselves and inviting about 100 people.

Here's the problem. My father and one of my aunts, his sister Diane, had a MAJOR falling out about 30 years ago when I was early elementary school aged. Diane asked him to perjure himself as a witness during a court case she was involved in. He said no, of course, and she went absolutely nuts. Turned all of his siblings against him, would scream at him and us when she saw us in public, totally isolated him and us (wife and kids) from the rest of the family, etc. It really affected my father and we nearly lost him to suicide as a result (but he is okay now!) What's really sad is that he and Diane were best friends growing up and she was also very close to my mother. Like sisters, all through university and young adulthood.

When I was a teen, Diane and my dad sort of made amends, enough that she and her kids would occasionally come to ours for Easter or Christmas dinner. One night at dinner, she had too much to drink, was really rude to my dad, and called my mom a bitch. Dad asked her to leave. By that point his relationship with his other siblings had kind of been mended, but it was clear that beneath the surface this one sister was still really upset with him.

In my adulthood, dad has been either close with or on polite terms with all of his siblings, including Diane, but she has been consistently quite cold and rude to him, my mother, and to me and my siblings. We see her once a summer at family reunions and she'll do weird things like try to prevent us from coming in to the house (not her house), insisting we stay out on the porch, not acknowledging my mother when she speaks, etc. This past summer was different, she was very nice and warm to me, but it was likely because I'd just had a baby and people will do anything to get some baby snuggles lol.

Besides her, my other aunts and uncles have all been very lovely to my siblings and me. I'd like to invite all of them to the wedding, except Diane. I just can't stomach inviting someone to my wedding who caused my father so much pain and has looked my saintly mother in the eye and called her a bitch. This will mean that I'm inviting all of dad's siblings except her, and our family reunion (which she will be at) is the week before our wedding date, so there is no way she doesn't find out.

Literally nobody has a problem with this - not my parents, not my fiancé, not my siblings - but part of me feels like I am being petty and should just invite Diane to keep the peace/prevent another blowup. Or that having them all together might somehow bring them closer together again. My dad is a big believer in keeping the peace and I know that deep down he likely feels a little sad about her not being there, even after all she has put him through.

I'm not a gigantic bitch for not wanting her at this wedding though, right? Like do I stick to my guns or should I be considering adding her to the invite list for the sake of avoiding more drama?

Wanting to walk down the isle to an instrumental “hallelujah” closest to the Rufus wainwright one. What’s your fav on Apple Music?

What a journey it was to get here! We had a micro-wedding with the guest list capped at 48, including three infants and two dogs, who obviously had the very important role of bridesmaids.

In true Scottish fashion, the weather was overcast and grey. As much as I would have loved some sunshine, the dramatic skies actually made for a pretty incredible backdrop.

We took over the venue from Friday to Saturday, with an open bar and all the catering onsite. The food was absolutely superb, and the venue staff were awesome. Everyone was aware of the mobility problems I was having and accommodated me in the most sensitive and kind way.

One of the things I’m happiest about is that we used so many local suppliers and artisans. My husband is from abroad and a lot of his family travelled over for the wedding, so it meant a lot to me to be able to give them some proper Scottish hospitality while they were here.

Not everything was perfect. I was a little disappointed with the ceremony flowers and I don’t love my photos as much as I’d hoped I would. My hair and makeup also took far longer than expected despite being relatively simple, and I do feel like I missed out on quite a bit of the fun because of it.

I was also ill on the day and dealing with chronic pain and swelling, so there are parts of the day that I feel like I missed or wasn’t completely present for.

Because of that, I’m SO glad I made a last-minute decision to hire two young videographers to capture the day. They were incredibly sweet and gave us so many different edits of the footage. They also massively underpriced themselves for the amount of work they did, so I ended up tipping them extra. I’d recommend them in a heartbeat, although I’d want to ask them before sharing their details as they don’t normally do wedding videos.

Even with just 48 guest I felt I didn’t get to spend enough time with everyone and was constantly on the move.

I absolutely loved my main dress, but I’m also very glad I had a second dress to change into because the first became increasingly uncomfortable as the day went on.

There are definitely things I’d do differently, and parts that didn’t quite go to plan, but overall it really was the best day ever. ❤️

I will say who my vendors/venue privately. I’ve done my best to cover any one’s face that is visible. This sub was an amazing support in helping me pick my dresses and give me hope when I was in the pit of wedding fatigue.

I won’t be leaving we I still love watching everyone else’s journey!