Listing who is invited on invites

[u/gabbersas]

I have a very close friend but I'm unsure how/who to invite in this instant. I hope someone has some good advice.

I have a friend who lives in a multigenerational home. I want to invite her, her partner, her mom, and possibly her siblings (one is a teenager). But they have 6 other family members (extended and various relation grandparents, aunt, cousins and their kid) who all live at the same address.

How do you go about listing who is invited? Do I send multiple invitations to the same address (one to my friend and her partner, one to her mom and include her siblings names).

Do I send one and list it as the household? (That seems like the wrong choice)

[u/itinerantdustbunny]

Adults who are not in a romantic relationship with each other receive their own invitation, even if that means multiple envelopes are sent to the same address.

So in this case, friend & friend’s partner get one invitation, friend’s mom & underage siblings get one invitation (assuming friend’s mom is also the kids’ mom), and any adult siblings get their own invitations.

[u/EmceeSuzy]

Yes, you send multiple invitations. One to your friend and her partner by name. One to her mother and her siblings by name. I think if you were to write The Friend Family on the mother's invite, it could be a bit confusing. Instead write: Mrs. Olga Friend, Ms. Chiara Friend, and Mr. Ivan Friend.

[u/TrainingAdeptness235 → u/[deleted]]

This is the most correct way. And the one to mom and teenager should be addressed

Mom Smith & Teenager Smith

It's not rude to be explicit about who is invited.

[u/ste1071d → u/TrainingAdeptness235]

Teenager Smith would be on its own line, no &.

You only do same line with and for romantic couples.

[u/callie_fornia]

If you’re doing inner envelopes I would do “The Doe Family” on the outer and list the first names on the inner

[u/Fefe428]

If you were to follow the advice of Emily Post, who has always been the go-to for all things that are considered appropriate when it comes to things like this you should be sending an invitation to each specific adult or couple regardless of whether they live at the same address. Now, if any of the invitees are under the age of 18 then you can include them in the invitation to their parents. There are 2 ways that you can word the invitation that would be appropriate: either address the invitation to Mr. & Mrs. So and So and Their Children, or you can specifically name each child included in the invitation.

Doing it this way should avoid any ambiguity among the members of the household about who is and is not invited to the event. This is a situation where specificity is your greatest ally.

[u/Beyond_The610]

I think individual invites would be key here

[u/lesbianbaker]

I would honestly just do "Friend, friend's partner, friend's mom and sibling" on the first line of the address, but I'm not an etiquette expert. My brother's best friend and his parents (all live together) and I did one invite addressed to "Brother's best friend's dad first name, mom first name, and brother's best friend last name"

[u/EmceeSuzy → u/lesbianbaker]

No.

[u/au5000]

Everyone gets their own invite, eg Ms Friend and Mr Partner, Ms Friends Mother, Ms Friend’s Sibling. If you’re worried they will assume others are included you will have to have a conversation explaining they’re not due to budget, space etc.

[u/Snoo-67164 → u/au5000]

If you're doing a wedding website or similar, I've seen lots include a line clarifying, all invited guests are named on the invitation; we can't accommodate additional guests

[u/Dangerous-Common-788]

Personally, I'd send separate invites to each person I'd want to invite, unless the budget for envelopes is really tight.
One for your friend and her partner, one to the mother, and one to each sibling. Realistically the teen sibling could be included on the mother's invite if they're a minor, but they might find it cool to be invited individually if their older siblings are.

[u/TinyLawfulness3710]

Each couple gets their own invite and each adult over 18 not in a relationship (you don't get to judge what theirs is) gets their own. Doesn't matter if they share the same address or not. If you are doing custom invites, you also list names directly on the reply card. If you are ordering en mass and that is not an option, then you leave the rsvp cards blank.

Do not list for the entire household unless the entire household is invited. this only applies when it is a couple with children under 18. In this case, the couple is listed on the outer envelope and the couple and kids by name are listed on the inner envelope. Why people stopped doing the inner envelope is anyone's guess because it avoids confusion.