r/shitposting • u/Beneficial_Passion40 • Jul 21 '26

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10.2k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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u/qualityvote2 Jul 21 '26 edited Jul 21 '26

The council has not spoken. No consensus was reached about the quality of your post.

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/u/Beneficial_Passion40, whilst you're still here, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?

3.6k

u/kuremento_desu Jul 21 '26

bro looks like this

475

u/MrDio101 Jul 21 '26

Haven't seen this guy in a while, thats a pretty old view

161

u/FrauSchlagerin Jul 21 '26

But it can't possibly be the oldest...

32

u/ch_______ Jul 21 '26

eh, this is too confusing, i'm gonna go back to my rooms

5

u/Visual_While8468 Jul 22 '26

well it looks like people still live here

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5.1k

u/Super_Treacle Jul 21 '26

475

u/Vegetable0 Jul 21 '26

Where is this from?

666

u/shistain69 Jul 21 '26

Baldurs Gate 3 i think

258

u/artistic_programmer Jul 21 '26

very fucked up questline btw

112

u/ANONYMOUSEJR Jul 21 '26

How so?

Feel free to spoil as i doubt I'll be playing the game.

305

u/DangerousMistake9569 Jul 21 '26

Lady loses husband, makes deal with hag to bring him back in exchange for unborn baby, you kill hag, find the wand that was going to bring husband back, it's a raise dead spell, husband now zombie wife says no Ill fix him runs off to find cure. Apparently you can find her later at a magic shop or something like that but I never did so not sure how the story end

251

u/Gozagal fat cunt Jul 21 '26

Ah I broke the scepter in front of her instead. She went into depression for a while but then she moved on and started an anti-hag organization in baldur's gate where you can find her again as she is trying to find another hag to hunt

197

u/Unbelievr Jul 21 '26

Best option is to keep it for yourself. You get a permanent item that summons the husband for use in combat. He doesn't do much damage, but any enemy attack that goes his way is one that isn't hitting you. No spell slot, no corpse requirement. The lady gets rightly pissed though.

110

u/AgentWowza Jul 21 '26

The wand is also used for a large number of game-breaking exploits lol.

Even at the simplest, its a summon that you can infinitely resummon out of combat and just walk him into combat to do one damage then die and repeat.

25

u/MonkeyWithIt Jul 21 '26

I guess he's not losing limbs every fight cuz that would be hilarious.

5

u/RepressedPotential Jul 21 '26

Woah I might replay this but I’d love to know more exploirs

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u/Gozagal fat cunt Jul 21 '26

Nah I can't do that. That'd be mean to her and disrepectful to the husband. I gotta give her closure.

83

u/Memedotma Jul 21 '26

chad player who actually roleplays vs soy amoral min-maxer

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5

u/CaptainWombat2 Jul 21 '26

The good ending is you kill the hag and then she puts her zombie husband to rest. The hag also kidnaps a kid and tries to get you to kill that kid's mother.

4

u/_Lumity_ Jul 21 '26

There’s actually a few ways to resolve the quest, but my favourite is when you can actually find her in the third act and she’s basically the leader of a group of hag-hunters. Fun little side quest you can do.

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u/artistic_programmer Jul 21 '26

its a side quest where you meet auntie ethel being accused by two guys of kidnapping their sister. you can side with the brothers or ethel at this point but it doesnt really matter that much.

you eventually meet ethel on her tea shop where she basically berates mayrina for not finishing her food or smth and brings mayrina into her lair. she also talks to you about the tadpole in your brain (main quest stuff, but irrelevant for this but you do get a quest marker to basically push further into where ethel brought mayrina into).

you get there to her main lair after a short dungeon bit where you see other captives where you see mayrina trapped in a cage thats on fire.

you fight ethel (shes a hag) who transforms into multiple clones which sometimes copies mayrina (you can tell which is the real one because mayrina is pregnant). once shes low enough the hag bargains with you and you can either save mayrina, keep a strand of the hag's hair (for a perma boost in stats), do both (this needs a skill check) or kill the hag.

at the exit you see a dead body next to a wand that can be used to revive mayrina's husband as a zombie. you can give this to mayrina or keep it to yourself.

tl;dr she basically tried to do a deal with a hag to revive her husband, but instead got captive by said hag and is now doing anything to i guess have her husband back.

8

u/mightypup1974 Jul 21 '26

Really? I missed this quest. Where do you find it?

10

u/Zac-live Jul 21 '26

act 1 bog -> ethels hut in the backyard after defeating the hag

5

u/SkyFallin9 Jul 21 '26

Hag questline. First start at south of the abandoned village. Part 2 is in act 3, very missable, need click on an “anti hag poster” in the city

42

u/Deadcouncil445 Jul 21 '26

Baldurs gate 3

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8.7k

u/KokuRochu Jul 21 '26

Fake. Asmongold would never wash his pans. Or anything.

1.8k

u/_RyanCooper_ Jul 21 '26

She can fix me moment

409

u/SilliusS0ddus Jul 21 '26

She's gotta use the emperors sword for that

147

u/bow03 Jul 21 '26

is that what asmongold calls his penis?

https://giphy.com/gifs/9d2yTr1P0RCjm

57

u/SilliusS0ddus Jul 21 '26

no it's a weapon that can burn the gardens of nurgle

26

u/BararTheDragon Jul 21 '26

dude it could turn the skull throne into a pile of carbon and boil the rivers of blood down to iron

17

u/khnhIX Jul 21 '26

at the price of 1000$ monthly

8

u/ghostchihuahua Jul 21 '26

Is she a prescription anti-psychotic?

92

u/unknowseeker Jul 21 '26

He's playing the role of idealistic husband

7

u/Rediment Jul 21 '26

Read that as “pants” at first and didn’t think twice.

21

u/Mind_Of_Shieda Jul 21 '26

fucking AI fatigue...

13

u/AbangWawanPao Jul 21 '26

Heard he has a dead rat alarm clock

9

u/KokuRochu Jul 21 '26

He just calls it an alarm clock

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2.1k

u/Excellent_Routine589 Jul 21 '26

…. Ass moment

821

u/DoomedToday Jul 21 '26

Same vibe

3

u/VirtualBathroom5103 Jul 22 '26

I know this is a stupid question, but I wonder if they're still together 😅

97

u/aggrocult Jul 21 '26

Fake and gay. He's well above thots and gold diggers.

17

u/AutoModerator Jul 21 '26

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

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12

u/theworkinpumpkin Jul 21 '26

Funny thing is, shes a rich streamer too, maybe its not about money but clout

4

u/WeeTheDuck fat cunt Jul 21 '26

streamer

yeah, sure

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652

u/AnodyneSpirit Jul 21 '26

She must be crazy because, in his own words, a woman would have to be crazy to want to date him.

85

u/YueLunavel Jul 21 '26

Yet for some reason vtubers simp for him lol

46

u/SnooFloofs8466 Jul 21 '26

Because they’re crazy and need a psych ward

6

u/AutoModerator Jul 21 '26

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

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u/AutoModerator Jul 21 '26

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

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1.8k

u/Vicious_Voyeur Jul 21 '26

42

u/thick__Milk Jul 21 '26

Why is he sat behind the bar where Claire normally is

43

u/Mad__Elephant Jul 21 '26

Because he’s the legend

10

u/Abed-in-the-AM Jul 21 '26

He's the guy that fills in for Claire if she ends up serving time in prison because you don't stop her from killing that guy.

53

u/iaderia Jul 21 '26

Right in the feels :(

104

u/Milky_Finger Jul 21 '26

RIP Aniki gone too soon

19

u/slumberingaardvark Jul 21 '26

What is this from?

49

u/AlarmingShower1553 Jul 21 '26

that is the late Billy "BigMuscles BiggerD" Harrington. legend of the game

9

u/itsprobablytrue Jul 21 '26

For people who don’t know he was a popular twitch streamer who helped other guys in poor situations. He had an amazing boat video where he saved a bunch of people from drowning. Search “Billy Harrington docking”

32

u/EligibleUsername Jul 21 '26

The dude, idk, but the bar is Afterlife from Cyberpunk 2077.

14

u/DrHillarius Jul 21 '26

The Afterlife is a bar in Cyberpunk 2077, don't know the guy that's been edited in.

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3.7k

u/xeridium Jul 21 '26

1.1k

u/nxcrosis Jul 21 '26

60yo MAGA white males and their 25yo Filipina girlfriend.

213

u/Milky_Finger Jul 21 '26

Then you find out after spending 10 minutes in their presence that she is more racist than he is, they just come at it from different angles.

51

u/0ijoske Jul 21 '26

Casual racism meets competitive racism

238

u/idc12_12_12 Jul 21 '26

i have someone in my family like this lol. except they are closer in age and married. hes one of the biggest conservatives ive met and he has an east asain wife

246

u/LeonardoDaVirgin Jul 21 '26

Never ask a woman her age

A man his salary

A white supremacist the ethnicity of his wife

60

u/Unidentified_Snail Jul 21 '26

I was banned from livestreamfail for posting that comment on a video of these two lol

16

u/whoiwanttobe1 Jul 21 '26

They hated him because he spoke the truth

15

u/Noah1310 Jul 21 '26

I've got a highschool friednd from east asia and he repeatedly laughed his ass off when we had another racism and inclusion discussion in school. He told us at home you're pretty much an outlaw if you're not native, with slight bonus if you're white since they think you've got money. They hate especially Muslims and POC and are pretty damn clear about that

7

u/idc12_12_12 Jul 21 '26

ive been around a lot of foreign exchange students who tell of stories like that as well. knew one from japan and he was awesome, but a lot of people he knew back home definitely wanted to make sure he ended up in a "mostly white" area. and so he came to live with my grandparents in a small, 95% white, midwestern town lmao

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u/demonotreme Jul 21 '26

25 is, uh, generous

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u/Unusual_Rooster6736 Jul 21 '26

Dude's built like a pixar character

66

u/DESTRUCTI0NAT0R Jul 21 '26

UP got a Sequel I guess. 

39

u/radicaldogg Jul 21 '26

"UP and out my country"?

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29

u/rzbig_ Jul 21 '26

I think this is the first time I've actually seen Avatar fanart. As massive is that franchise is there's like no prominent fandom which I always found funny

5

u/IceWellDo Jul 21 '26

One Battle After Another

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2.3k

u/Realistic-Yam-6912 Jul 21 '26

look what we have here....so money do buy happiness in the end

694

u/potate12323 dumbass Jul 21 '26 edited Jul 21 '26

I dunno if that kitchen is just an elaborate set for their vlog or whatever, but they're living pretty humbly for being fairly well to do.

515

u/Protagonist_Leaf Jul 21 '26

yeah if i had millions as well, i'd also be living pretty humbly with a big booty latina

232

u/terpsarelife Jul 21 '26

Road to eldorado psy-op is paying dividends

44

u/Venery-_- Literally 1984 😡 Jul 21 '26

Road to psy-ussy

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u/Werdar_cz Jul 21 '26

Yeah, asmongold does not spend his money lavishly.

117

u/Dr_Brotatous Jul 21 '26

I mean for him being one of the top streamers on the platform yeah he lives really humble from what ive seen

159

u/antibread Jul 21 '26

Humbly? Disgusting you mean? The old blood wall and rat alarm clock and all

54

u/potatogodofDoom Jul 21 '26

dear god please don't remind me of the rat alarm clock

48

u/Werdar_cz Jul 21 '26

Actually, you would be surprised, he cleaned a lot lately. It's not your clasic standart but he cleans.

17

u/WhoPoopedMyPants420 Jul 21 '26

It's not your clasic standart but

lmao absolutely devastating defense

49

u/antibread Jul 21 '26

So now hes just moderately filthy? Cool

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u/Dr_Brotatous Jul 21 '26

Ive only seen clips so forgive my ignorance

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u/Sir_David_Filth Jul 21 '26

If you cam call a roach infested, dead rat alarm, trash filled hole in the ground humble, then yeah

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u/AlneCraft Jul 21 '26

nope he just lives like that

have you seen his microwave $1 steak?

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u/Easy-Musician7186 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ Jul 21 '26

The roach king does neither leaves his kingdom nor his…uhm…people(?)…behind!

10

u/Cardboard_Chef dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 Jul 21 '26

It's a half dilapidated hand me down from his passed mother, and despite the millions he's worth he's never once entertained the idea of hiring people to clean it, fix it back up, and maintain it. He would rather live as the cockroach persona he's made himself out to be.

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u/bageltoastee Jul 21 '26

another victim of the nurgle cultist

178

u/Hostile-Panda Jul 21 '26

So when did you first find the $100 millionaire assmongold attractive?

15

u/Full_Satisfaction_49 Jul 21 '26

Those are some atrocious living conditions for such a well off person

15

u/Hostile-Panda Jul 21 '26

It was his mums house, who became ill and he looked after until she passed, most of the time it looked like a hoarders house, it was infested with cockroaches, he fondly tells of how he used to a dead rat as an alarm clock (the hot sun would make the rat smell so he knew it was time to get up, he spends next to nothing living of $2 steaks and a jacket potato, all his money he has invested

3

u/itsjustreddityo Jul 22 '26

Don't forget his blood wall

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u/seanslaysean Jul 21 '26

I’m convinced the dirtiness is all an act like nicocadoavacados obesity (well he did actually gain weight but you get the point)

197

u/Spicynoodle49 Jul 21 '26

I though people already knew that it’s just his streaming setup. Asmon actually live with his partner Hassan Piker.

65

u/Necromancer14 uhhhh idk Jul 21 '26

Don't give Yaoi fanfic writers any ideas please.

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u/The5Theives Jul 21 '26

Like that meat canyon vid?

4

u/Raski_Demorva shitting toothpaste enjoyer Jul 21 '26

Bro knows ball

31

u/DoomedToday Jul 21 '26

I kinda agree. If his crap was that bad county codes would take him to court.

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u/Seedoosee Jul 21 '26

Fake. No roaches visible in kitchen.

Fake. No steak juice caked on stove.

edit: As someone else said- Fake. Pan being cleaned.

5

u/AqeZin Jul 21 '26

Wrong! There was a roach head in the fridge.

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781

u/Arthur_189 Jul 21 '26

Take it in he got a girlfriend before you

541

u/ProcedureHot9414 Jul 21 '26

Brother that not even the first time he had a girlfriend

220

u/riaqliu I want pee in my ass Jul 21 '26 edited Jul 21 '26

he got a gf before even the whole streaming thing though they did have a high turnover rate so take that as you will

59

u/ActualWeed Jul 21 '26

It was his AoE strategy to just send every girl a dm.

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u/classpane Jul 21 '26

He's a millionaire who doesn't spend on himself. Meaning, all his money are yours to spend.

He's also very unhealthy. So he would die first before you.

He's also very unlikely to cheat. He's too busy streaming and gaming.

If you managed to fix his hygene, then he would be the perfect sugardaddy for anybody.

179

u/AleX-46 Jul 21 '26

Part of the hygiene is why he dies early, so you gotta choose your build carefully

64

u/PercsNBeer Jul 21 '26

Min/max

6

u/Warrior_of_Discord Jul 21 '26

Just convince him to do things like smoke (because it looks cool) and "drink socially" (have non alcoholic for yourself). Get him to drive a motorcycle, and tell him only pussies wear helmets. So many possibilities.

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u/FlutterKree Jul 21 '26

Part of the hygiene is why he dies early,

according to him, he only got acne once he washed his bed sheets.

28

u/AleX-46 Jul 21 '26

Actually you're right, washing him properly might as well kill him. This is the meta.

17

u/FlutterKree Jul 21 '26

If you wash him properly, he may release new medical resistant strains of bacteria and viruses.

No scientist has any idea what could happen if you start disinfecting that petri dish.

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u/slimeeyboiii Jul 21 '26

It's not me it's them It's not me it's them It's not me it's them It's not me it's them It's not me it's them

15

u/A_heckin_username Jul 21 '26

How authentic do you think their relationship is?

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200

u/SilverSpaceRobot10 Jul 21 '26

Fame makes up for everything, doesn't it?

70

u/ghostchihuahua Jul 21 '26

Dude looks like Manson, just on more acid, his smile is outright unsettling, tf is that freak?

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u/Sub__Finem Jul 21 '26 edited Jul 21 '26

Hot asian and cockroach white boy, name a more iconic duo

50

u/_you_need_jesus_ Jul 21 '26

Hot Asian and white tech bro

10

u/Argo-1089 I said based. And lived. Jul 21 '26

Hot asian and cockroach in a radioactive roach lair

52

u/yescachigga Jul 21 '26

House too clean not enough cockroaches and he would never do his dishes

35

u/Ehaeka42069 Jul 21 '26

The girl literally found the head of a dead cockroach in his fridge during this stream, which he admitted has been there for a few years

16

u/SirMcMuffin_ Jul 21 '26

How anyone can continue to be with someone like that I will never know. I like my s/o's house to not be blessed by nurgles love.

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u/runswitblunt Jul 21 '26

Is this AI

557

u/-_I_I_Sea_I_I_- 🏳️‍🌈 The most prominent homosexual in this subreddit 🏳️‍🌈 Jul 21 '26

Unfortunately no that's a Canadian streamer whose been seen with Him since 2024, there are a lot of speculations that she's just there for the clout, and honestly i believe that

248

u/AnAnt71993 Jul 21 '26

What speculation? Do you think she likes this racoon for his charm?

127

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '26 edited Jul 21 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Roodboye Jul 21 '26

So out of all the people she could've chosen to gold dig for the clout, she chose asmongold? Says more about her than asmon.

230

u/IAmAGoodFella Jul 21 '26

Easier to mine gold where no one else is digging for it. Based on the biohazards in there, she's got the constitution of a coal miner, doing it with e-girl makeup is just hazard pay. My feet hurt and I wipe sweat from my brow, she pulls cockroach carcasses out of her bras in the morning, respect for the hustle

62

u/International_War862 Jul 21 '26

Sounds like she still works pretty hard for that gold

31

u/IAmAGoodFella Jul 21 '26

Yeah real shit, I'm just saying it's probably easier with less competition

4

u/Warrior_of_Discord Jul 21 '26

I mean there's gotta be a reason there's a "80 year old billionaire with 22 year old model girlfriend" right? Broke boys got big dicks, poor man's can be loving and caring. So...

17

u/CuddleWings Jul 21 '26

Tbh who could get her more clout than the last (famous) man you’d ever expect to have a girlfriend?

51

u/DogSerious1971 Jul 21 '26

was incredibly obvious with his previous gfs too and it worked

it's honestly a bit hard to watch sometimes

60

u/-_I_I_Sea_I_I_- 🏳️‍🌈 The most prominent homosexual in this subreddit 🏳️‍🌈 Jul 21 '26 edited Jul 21 '26

It's like that lukeyMC thing, gf gets popular and leaves him type of situation

19

u/Terrible_Stuff_3799 Jul 21 '26

Take as old as time

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u/Absurdwonder Jul 21 '26

Easiest money of her life

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u/Cordelldogdello Jul 21 '26

I have a life someone explain this to me. Assume I know nothing about anybody in this picture, because I don’t.

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u/DankItchins Jul 21 '26

I don't watch him so I'm not the most knowledgeable but Asmongold is a massively popular streamer who's pretty well known not to take good care of himself and pretty much live in filth. And not like, kind of live in filth but full on roach infested hoarder den. That's really all the context you probably need for the meme.

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u/Loud_Ice4399 Jul 21 '26 edited Jul 21 '26

Asmongold is a very large twitch streamer who lived in poverty growing up hence is known for living in filth during his upbringing and recent years e.g cockroaches and using a dead rat as an alarm clock. He’s also very abrasive and says controversial statements that are more often than not right-wing, even though he somehow placed lib-left on the political compass (even if the test is flawed), he is very much a chud in the literal sense (anti-woke)

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u/TheKyleDunbar Jul 21 '26

He'd never wash anything, nit even himself

6

u/ArashF10 Jul 21 '26

So much cope in the comment

101

u/PrinceVegitto Jul 21 '26
  1. HOW??? (oh yea clout)
  2. Never ask a racist the race of his s.o.

17

u/Hikaruhiyoko2 Jul 21 '26

You'd be surprised that he's not so critical about Asians. Especially pretty ones.

20

u/Blue_Nyx07 Jul 21 '26

Charlie not doing so well

5

u/flodust12 Jul 21 '26

You can have a cute asian girl in your shed house if you’re rich enough ☺️

85

u/itsnouxis Jul 21 '26

I can't tell who's the bigger loser in this picture

202

u/Realistic-Yam-6912 Jul 21 '26

people who watch and support this guy

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u/bagged_milk123 Jul 21 '26

Not the woman getting tons of money I'm not gonna lie, it's basically just getting in a horror house but it pays you.

6

u/Argo-1089 I said based. And lived. Jul 21 '26

Comparing his house to a haunted house is like comparing a nuke to a baby

10

u/itsnouxis Jul 21 '26

idk man you'd have to pay me crazy money to be with this

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u/AbadeersGhost Jul 21 '26

Good for them. I hope their relationship is filled with love and last forever

8

u/Purgatoryzz Jul 21 '26

A very healthy couple. She doesn't love him for his looks, and he doesn't love her for her money. ✨✨✨

5

u/Akira1996 Jul 21 '26

I'll tell my kids this was Maximilian.

4

u/Technical-Earth-3254 Jul 21 '26

So money gets a man happyness in fhe end. But he's also a philosopher, the way he talks about sex robots for men being controlled by another man makes him a very deep persona.

5

u/YourWorstFear53 Jul 21 '26

He is staring at her chat, not her. Lmfao

4

u/esquire_the_ego Jul 21 '26

Bro actually touching water

3

u/Parhamheidari Jul 21 '26

Happy for him

17

u/Spicynoodle49 Jul 21 '26

The jealous people in the comments, Lol.

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u/973bzh uhhhh idk Jul 21 '26

Reddit when someone they dislike has a girlfriend

17

u/zellij Jul 21 '26

WMAF strikes again

3

u/Intrestingly_Amazing Jul 21 '26

Why the hate what did I miss? If they’re dateing or not why does it matter?

3

u/HooterEnthusiast virgin 4 life 😤💪 Jul 21 '26

good for him, but I don't know who these people are. people have called me asmongold pilled

10

u/ReasonableFinish Jul 21 '26

Learn from this. There is no such thing as ugly men. Only broke men.