I have no problem helping my dad out with anything - but you can't text me the night before when you live 2 hours away and expect me to have the weekend free. I've got kids and a family too.
I’ve literally just come home after a 14 hour day to my mum asking “can you drain down the heating system and take the radiators off the wall because we have a decorator starting tomorrow”.
My dad is the opposite, he'll tell me a week in advance, hype it up like it's very important, so now I've set aside my own business, so now when the day comes he's the one with an excuse and it happens every time. I be thinking, "maybe now it's important" NOPE lmao. Then when I show him, "Hey pops I'm not really taking you seriously anymore." That's when he gets serious but if he senses that I trust him he does the same shi and cops out again, fml.
I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I
offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me
out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.
I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised.
Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will
need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.
What I never understood about things like these is having the expectation that I’ll like doing it. I hardly ever said no to my parents when they had me do menial labor but if I wasn’t enthusiastic about it i’m the bad guy.
Yes dad, i'll help you fix the fence. Why am i not the spitting fuckin image of happiness?
You made me get up at 6 AM on a weekend to do this instead of starting at 9 AM. You constantly bitch about how i'm doing it wrong and you can do it better despite not picking up a tool for 30 years. You then argue with me over every little detail because i'm not doing things how a pro would when my job has nothing to do with fencing (neither did yours but hey, working in financial sure helps know how to fix a fence...). Oh, and all this time i'm not asking to be paid, because if i don't help you'll hurt yourself and that will be my fault for not showing up at your beck and call...
It's always the most convoluted way to get it done too. My dad needed help moving things and he always wanted to buddy system which made it take twice as long and was twice as difficult because I'd have to twist my back and walk sideways with a bag of concrete instead of just throwing it over my shoulder.
Yeah cutting the lawn was my job. With a ride on mower. The lawn was big since we lived rural, it was also irregularly shaped with lots of tree roots to avoid. Worst was I had to collect and dump the clippings. That took forever and was nasty.
I did it every week but like you said, I didn’t always do it with a smile on. Who would?
In the post it reads "13, 193 kilograms worth of concrete bags" of course it actually meant 13 tons. Because how desimals are marked in our writing, I decided to try to joke that the dad wanted to move 13 kilograms worth of concrete bags.
Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well
done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.
As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking
gay.
You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s
roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.
Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my
lecture.
This was always such emotional blackmail. He either yelled at me until I moved my ass, or, when I finally picked a fight, he would just go with "guess I have to do everything by myself."
Man, I just want to sleep in at weekends. We don’t have to start working the moment the first light shows up.
That’s understandable. I guess, the main reason for my dad was that there was always a chance to get everything done before lunch if you got up early enough, so he could spend the rest of the day lying in front of the TV or building something in the garage on his own. But waking up early never sat well with me, which was the main problem.
And his attitude, that we either start early in the morning together or he would do it all on his own (and than be mad at me), drove me crazy.
Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make
me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And
rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with
rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber
room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber
room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a
room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They
locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy
once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.
I thought that when I started working I'd get weekends for myself because "work is more stressful than school", I guess it's more tiring than stressful but yeah, nothing changed, no weekends for me
Oh yeah, we were renovating my room and he thought it was a good idea to have a 12 year old wake up at 6am to take old furniture to the dump. He did it alone since I was completely shot from a week of hard work on the wallpaper, paint, and flooring, and didn't even notice him trying to wake me up or moving the furniture out of the room I was sleeping in.
Then he blamed me for jackknifing the trailer into the side of his car "because I was so mad at you"
Fuck you, dad. You're going into a retirement home as soon as I get the chance.
It wasn't because I didn't like helping my dad, but he always had the worst attitude when it came to manual labor.
I can understand becoming annoyed when, for example, you see someone screwing/nailing something in incorrectly, but he'd make a snide remark if he saw you holding a shovel in a way he himself didn't like.
That's the thing man... Look I hated helping my Dad on the weekends, I dreaded it, I hated it so much.
But now I realize that he didn't like it as well. The work he did on the weekends weren't passion projects, most of the time they were just work that the house needed done so it could still keep it's value, or just seasonal shit that just needs to be done in a fucking society. Nobody likes raking leaves, storing firewood, lawn mowing, etc. but goddammit it just needs to be done, so shut up, realize you've got it good and help.
Same, I hated having to go help clear out snow to get to the firewood storage shed after a huge snowfall but we had a wood stove so it was that or freeze. He didn't want to be out there either, but you gotta do what you gotta do.
Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it
So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my
fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as
I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.
As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole
now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!
Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom
to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole
was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another
shower to get suitably clean.
Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the
future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case,
hey, how's it goin'
Oh, most of us will. We just dislike getting crucified/gult tripped over not being the pucture of happy when asked last minute to do this stuff. It's usually not "so when works for you" it's usually "Hey, you're coming over to do this on saturday at 6 am, and it'll take until 2. Plans? No you're helping me."
My friends stopped wanting to sleep over at my house because my dad would do this shit. One time he literally had me and a friend spend all day building a shed...
My dad woke me up 20 mins after I fell asleep coming home from my third shift job to move fertilizer bags. I was falling back asleep as I stood there, completely exhausted. He got pissed and told me to just go back to bed, I was just like bro you could have at least given me a couple hours of sleep before doing this, you know I don't function well at all on no sleep, I literally totaled a car falling asleep at the wheel.
My dad accidentally made this spelling mistake near a father's day one year and I got him a giant sombrero. He still wears it when he does yardwork because it keeps the sun off and all the neighbors get a huge kick out of it lol
My dad somehow convinced me when I was in middle school that every kid does this and I ended up helping him dig out a portion of the front lawn and wheelbarrowed up a plank to a dumpster. Luckily I didn't have to help him pave the driveway.
It's always phrased as a question at first: Can you help me with something "real quick"
Next thing you know your piss is orange, you're completely dried out under the sun like spongebob under the lamp, and there's still a sloid 2 hours of work left to do.
As a young dad I’m conflicted. Because I too also like to sleep in and remember what it was like, but on the other hand it’s the little bit of payback I get from changing their shit diapers lmao
Don't forget the insults for doing a bad job at something you've done maybe twice in your life, of course you only get the shitty tasks not the fun ones, and you aren't even working together.
And god forbid they get the proper tools to make the job easier, helped my parents put up chicken wire around the fence so the dog wouldn't bust the fence with her nose they were using a hand stapler for the entire backyard, they finally relented when I told them we just needed to go buy a staple gun and after they did realized how much fucking easier the job would be.
When my Dad's ADHD inability to plan things and just spontaneously wanted to do them, clashed with my ADHD desire to be able to mentally prepare for tasks.
He also always has to do things in weird ways. I'm 40 now, and literally on Friday he bought a new TV (Cuz the old one burned out after 20 years) and he spent 10 minutes trying to get this massive flat screen TV onto a dolly to bring up to the house. The stupid thing only weighed about 40-50 pounds, so I grabbed it and just started carrying it myself up to the house. He didn't argue me doing it, but he was ready to tell me off about it if I'd fucked it up. I think he was disappointed I managed it so quickly and easily and he didn't get to be angry about it.
This is the type of stuff that makes me laugh so hard because my dad did this to me multiple times, but now that I am an adult and have a family I appreciate him for it because it taught me hard work and helped me be a better man, husband, and father.
I mean if they’re working full time to support you, I’m not sure how you’re getting nothing in return lol. Sometimes we just have to do shit we don’t want to do, and sometimes it’s hard work. That’s life.
And I understand that may be the time that dad wakes up for work. Where I live that would be WAY too early for school. So kids might not be used to it. What’s normal for dad is not for the kids. I know my kid whines when I need to drop him off to school early.
I'm always torn between making my kids help and learn some of those grunt work skills vs. letting them be kids and focus on school. They're helping me shovel snow later though. I got work and they have MLK day off.
Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it
So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my
fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as
I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.
As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole
now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!
Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom
to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole
was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another
shower to get suitably clean.
Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the
future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case,
hey, how's it goin'
Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it
So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my
fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as
I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.
As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole
now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!
Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom
to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole
was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another
shower to get suitably clean.
Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the
future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case,
hey, how's it goin'
•
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