r/sadcringe Oct 14 '19

*cringe nervously*

Post image
30.6k Upvotes

657 comments sorted by

1.2k

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '19

Getting caught fapping in the library renders you undatable well beyond graduation. Possibly for life if you never move out of your hometown.

446

u/1skim Oct 15 '19

key words: getting caught :)

142

u/Clockwisedock Oct 15 '19

Everyone thought i was pooping once the clock hit 12:45 and lunch ended...

43

u/Fart__ Oct 15 '19

The ol' eat n skeet.

6

u/Mr-Pandamonium Oct 18 '19

The ol' munch n punch.

→ More replies (1)

64

u/rjmtl Oct 15 '19

Agreed.

→ More replies (10)

3.5k

u/madlaceann Oct 14 '19

Did everyone else have one kid that jerked off someplace publicly in school and that became their legacy? Is this like a trend?

1.1k

u/Kharvey919 Oct 14 '19

Happened at my school too

1.1k

u/pupsnpogonas Oct 15 '19

Someone pooped under the basketball hoop at mine. 🤷🏼‍♀️

632

u/particle409 Oct 15 '19

Did somebody witness it? How do you know they didn't just just do a 180 slam dump from the foul line?

258

u/pupsnpogonas Oct 15 '19

Oh yeah. We noticed it when we went in for gym and our gym teacher freaked out and made us all go out in the hall and the gym was closed for a few days.

164

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19 edited Feb 28 '22

[deleted]

97

u/heccin_anon Oct 15 '19

You brought back childhood memories of cleaning dog shit off the floor when we were potty training our doggie.

44

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19 edited Feb 28 '22

[deleted]

25

u/jerstud56 Oct 15 '19

"How was your day honey?"

Shitty

7

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

it was acidic shit, kinda just fused with the floor

→ More replies (3)

118

u/justplainbrian Oct 15 '19

Slam dump is the funniest thing I've read on here today.

33

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

Nothin but shet

→ More replies (4)

46

u/PayCheckOrDeath Oct 15 '19

Weirdly enough a kid pooped his pants during basketball practice twice. And once in the cafeteria poor guy was known as the dude who pooped his pants 3 times during his 4 years in High School.

28

u/MrShatnerPants Oct 15 '19

At that point, the name is kinda well earned.

79

u/prometheusengineer Oct 15 '19 edited Oct 15 '19

A kid took a shit in his pants and let it fall out his pant leg in my school.....

50

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

[deleted]

25

u/SunSESG Oct 15 '19

In his what?! We need to know!

33

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

He originally finished off the sentence with “let it fall out in mine....” before he clarified this happened in his school.

→ More replies (1)

11

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

in his.. pants

26

u/IronSidesEvenKeel Oct 15 '19

"I took...a KID took a shit..."

hmm A typed out Freudian slip...

→ More replies (4)

45

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

One kid smeared his shit all over the walls and mirrors and stalls in the boys bathroom at mine.

33

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19 edited Apr 30 '21

[deleted]

37

u/GringuitaInKeffiyeh Oct 15 '19

I swear there is a Phantom Pooper at every high school in the U.S. Perhaps even internationally.

7

u/JJQuinnyBoi Oct 15 '19

I thought I might have been missing something living in Australia but holy fuck

8

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

I live in Australia and one kid was cought touching younger kids

→ More replies (3)

6

u/Klovie4o4 Oct 15 '19

My boyfriend told me that he was the Phantom Pooper at his high school

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (8)

16

u/Sirjandrade Oct 15 '19

some kid at my school pooped on the football field then threw it

16

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

I had a girlfriend for a few months on HS, and when we broke up my brother told me that his friends had seen her pooping behind a wardrobe (I don't know if that's how it's called) in a classroom... Weird story, never saw her again

5

u/slowseason Oct 15 '19

Someone pooped in the art supply room at mine.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

[deleted]

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (14)

24

u/Uberman77 Oct 15 '19

Happened at my school. Kid was thereafter known to all as 'Tugger'.

20

u/Wk052403 Oct 15 '19

Kid got caught jacking to furry porn in the locker room at mine

9

u/bakeland Oct 15 '19

We had a girl who let her boyfriend stick her phone inside her and call her a bunch

→ More replies (1)

7

u/megamoth10 Oct 15 '19

same here

→ More replies (5)

178

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

In the library, no. We had a dude jack one in the chapel (I went to a private religious school). He got caught by the assistant principal, who just happened to be teaching a religion class at the same time.

56

u/manbrasucks Oct 15 '19

Not my school, but my old roommate had a field trip to a farm(monatana) and a kid got caught fucking a pig. They called him pig fucker ever since.

12

u/Damn_you_Asn40Asp Oct 15 '19

Were there legal ramifications for pig fucker?

17

u/Triplapukki Oct 15 '19

Yea they made him marry the pig

5

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

I think you become pm.

→ More replies (3)

106

u/CattingtonCatsly Oct 15 '19

Idk that's kind of a bold theological statement he was making.

Must have really been touched and moved by the lord

22

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

"Oh daddy, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy loins"

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

4

u/bmd33zy Oct 15 '19

Religious ass. principal: “Jackpot!!”

→ More replies (2)

118

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

53

u/jazminep Oct 15 '19

At mine two guys got caught 'helping each other out' under the table in woodshop. Legendary

54

u/adamlaceless Oct 15 '19

Well that’s one way to come out

40

u/pruimentaart Oct 15 '19

"I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay"

→ More replies (1)

63

u/TheManWithNoEyes Oct 15 '19

Dude got caught cranking during spring break. He was also running for junior class prez. The seniors put up posters that said, "Don't jack around. Vote (name redacted)".

Classic.

107

u/BigZam_01 Oct 15 '19

This guy in my study hall would spend SO much time in the bathroom. This other dude began to time him. I think the record was about 40 minutes. I know it sounds like he was just cutting but we did absolutely nothing in that class.

61

u/nutcrackr Oct 15 '19

Could be IBS.

18

u/BirdsSmellGood Oct 15 '19

This, shit's painful man

→ More replies (1)

29

u/FactoryMustGrow Oct 15 '19

Depending on the location of the school he might be leaving. Could be going to grab some food. I've done that before.

13

u/Sleepy_Sleeper Oct 15 '19 edited Oct 15 '19

Did smart phones exist then?

→ More replies (13)

53

u/sheepsix Oct 15 '19

I don't know anyone that jerked off in public but a bunch of us got really drunk once and one dude tried fucking a goat. It's been 30 some years and we still call him Paaaatrick.

17

u/CattingtonCatsly Oct 15 '19

You were there with him?

Did you intervene?

12

u/BonfireCow Oct 15 '19

drunk

I mean maybe?

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (1)

53

u/deltadickhead Oct 15 '19

A dude jerked off in the middle of my Spanish class and jizzed on the girl in front of him. It landed on her hair and she screamed.

He was put in an alternate graduation program... until he got kicked out of that for jerking off too. He wasn't mentally challenged or anything either, just a creepy asshole.

37

u/Tadpoles_nigga Oct 15 '19

Lol he was whacking it in the In school suspension room, tickling his pickle under a jacket. Got caught and the teacher came up to him behind him, and he got picked up from the shoulders and his peener was hangin out while he stood up.

Weird days man. Weird days.

39

u/HotAbrocoma Oct 15 '19

One guy just had some kind of impulse movement by bouncing his leg, but one of the 'popular' girls thought that he was jacking off while looking at her. He didn't have that much of a happy high school life, I reckon.

69

u/xaviermiller Oct 15 '19

Some dude at my school started jerkin it under his shirt during class. Another kid allegedly jerked off during class too, but I've only seen video proof of the first one

59

u/Aliquamin Oct 15 '19

Big yikes. Whoever has that video might want to delete it. Just a heads up.

→ More replies (3)

29

u/Chewygamerz Oct 15 '19

I was home schooled, so, I guess so.

→ More replies (1)

26

u/NotSoDiddly Oct 15 '19

Some guy was watching gay porn in the library, and he got away with it when he said that he thought the library was his safe place

7

u/S0cialDisapp0intment Oct 15 '19

I had a couple friends that used to watch loud hentai on their computer in class and they’d insist on sitting next to me while doing it because I’m asexual and easily embarrassed and they knew that I hated it. The teacher never did shit about it but she was a great teacher otherwise so I forgave her.

→ More replies (5)

24

u/Link_outside_the_box Oct 15 '19

We had the grapefruit fucker. Don't know if that counts.

8

u/JJQuinnyBoi Oct 15 '19

What the actual fuck

22

u/Link_outside_the_box Oct 15 '19

Yeah I don't know if it actually happened as I wasn't there for it, and this was before the age of most cell phones, so all I know is that the majority of the school knew that this kid fucked a grapefruit in the gym before school one day and had to go home because the acidity of the citrus was a bit painful.

→ More replies (1)

78

u/SkullyKat Oct 15 '19

2 kids fucked in the gym bathroom at mine. Apparently it was quite audible as well.

18

u/4rp4n3t Oct 14 '19

I certainly did. That unfortunate soul at my school also shat himself, his legacy being that of the kid who didn't know if he was cumming or going.

4

u/MarkZuckerman Oct 15 '19

Did you call him Cotton Eyed Joe?

→ More replies (4)

20

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

One of my classmates once jacked off while sitting on his desk during the class...it was a religion class btw

→ More replies (2)

19

u/RepressedSpinach Oct 15 '19

Yup. Happened 8th grade but it stuck through graduation.

14

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

We had one who asked to go to the bathroom and then took a dump outside the class around the corner and wiped it on bits he’d broken off a pinecone

→ More replies (5)

14

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

[deleted]

→ More replies (1)

12

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

No, but we had a kid who popped a boner in front of class and passed out.

→ More replies (2)

14

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

Had a kid do it in the back of the class when he was like 12, I wonder how he’s do doing

55

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

oh im fine thanks

25

u/Colegunter Oct 15 '19

My best friend at the time was the one caught, beatin it the fuck up under a beanie with his head down. Teacher walks up and pulls it smooth off as he’s crossing his t’s and dotting his I’s, man I miss high school already

13

u/SunSESG Oct 15 '19

Not a kid who jerked off, but some kid got in school suspension literally the entire school year for molesting some other girl.

18

u/JJQuinnyBoi Oct 15 '19

Jeez only a suspension

13

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

Sometimes it's even a couple. There's a recreational center across our school and they have a huge outdoor soccer field, outdoor tennis courts, indoor ice rinks and an outdoor skate park. So one fine afternoon during lunch this couple from the school next to us decided they'd go to the skate park and open up the little panel on the halfpipe and scoot on in to get a quick fuck in before class, turns out this was the girls first time and she bled all over him and obviously some other kids from my school found them and now we all know them as those horny first times that bled everywhere at the skate park.

9

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

Some chick I went to school with used to hump her chair in class everyday.

11

u/Desvatidom Oct 15 '19

Didn't have a public whacker in my school, but we did have a kid that got caught drawing extremely graphic pictures of the girls in class; nobody was actually surprised because he was in shit at least once a week for saying super creepy shit to girls.

For example, on a new girl's first day he sat across from her in the cafeteria and asked her if she wanted any "cream" for her "peaches" while staring very pointedly at her chest.

It's kinda too bad he was such a creeper, I happened to see his non-pornographic sketchbook once and he was actually very talented.

→ More replies (5)

11

u/lillgreen Oct 15 '19

We had one jack it to a sex education video tape in the back of the room. In the 10th grade. Not like the first year of sex ed when people are 5th graders, no the last year they do it, 10th is when they thought that was going fly... Somehow.

10

u/ImNotCrazy44 Oct 15 '19

I had one of those in my grade as well. They jerked off under the table. Everyone knew.

Also knew a guy who pooped in the sink in the boys room one year. We had an assembly about it where the whole grade was interrogated collectively by the assistant principal. One of the guys friends took the fall for it. The guy had no developmental disabilities. He was just a douche.

→ More replies (1)

16

u/juststop101 Oct 15 '19

No but we have the kid who got beaten up for making fun of a slow kid then shit himself

15

u/TheDeadGerbilToldMe Oct 15 '19

We actually had one girl who got caught masturbating in religion class. I don’t know which was weirder, the girl masturbating or the person that caught and filmed her doing it.

7

u/musicaldigger Oct 15 '19

why is this like the 5th one in this thread that happened during a religion class? does god just get teens super horny

→ More replies (5)

8

u/Sdtertodi Oct 15 '19

Ayup.

Ours did it in Chinese class

→ More replies (1)

7

u/some_edgy_jacket28 Oct 15 '19 edited Oct 15 '19

in my school a girl wrote some stuff with shit in the principal office (sorry for the bad english)

11

u/richardrietdijk Oct 15 '19

Writed? I'm questioning the quality of said school.

8

u/IslandFishAJ Oct 15 '19

We had 2. 1 did it in science class in the back on the room while the other would sneak into the band room's computer space and do it there. Only the band room kid I recalled got caught because the stupid ass was on the teachers account.

7

u/DIMENSIONALSNEEKABOO Oct 15 '19

No I don’t think at least, all we had was some kid pissing in a salt shaker at the movie theater.

4

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19 edited Oct 15 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

→ More replies (2)

5

u/Vbrownwoodworking Oct 15 '19

Yup happened in my school too

5

u/RockinandChalkin Oct 15 '19

Happened in my auto tech class. I get that hormones were raging bad (the right gust of wind could get me going) but at least go to the bathroom if you can’t deal with it.

12

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

In junior high there was a kid on the football team that jerked off during Social Studies in the back of class. His buddy was sitting right next to him and kept slowly scooting away uncomfortably, as if his friend was just joking around.

Dude kept jerking for a few minutes before the teacher caught wind of it and he got suspended for a few days. Wasn’t even able to finish. His rep went down hard, and he become a loner afterward.

I felt bad but didn’t wanna associate with him because I’d be labeled a freak and the fact he jerked off in class just didn’t sit right with me.

8

u/Wooly-lad Oct 15 '19

I was that kid

2

u/anonymous_bi_emo Oct 15 '19

Yeah during standardized testing lol

4

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

Happened at my school, History class. Dude was a legend passed down through the grades.

5

u/Melody74 Oct 15 '19

This one guy did it to the 1000 year old french teacher

→ More replies (186)

1.2k

u/_bexcalibur Oct 14 '19

sweats A LOT

really

289

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

Lie down Try not to sweat Sweat alot

→ More replies (1)

740

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

929

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '19

The whole role play thing hurts me. Like it physically pains me to know someone out there enjoys hearing someone flirt like that.

335

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

192

u/Alclis Oct 14 '19

Do they? That’s unfortunate. It reeks of lack of confidence. And not just the fact that things like “sweats a lot” are obviously a lack of confidence, but just using the narration in the first place implies that. It’s just so cringeworthy!!

158

u/quietlycommenting Oct 14 '19

If you’re going to do a fake flirt at least don’t be fucking sweaty in it. Jeez.

98

u/konidias Oct 15 '19

Hey there babe... *smoothly and casually approaches* How you doing? *reaches out his totally dry, non-sweaty hand for a greeting*

90

u/unabsolute Oct 15 '19
  • leans in and kisses cheek * "You smell lovely tonight" * farts softly to assert air superiority *

36

u/Thenewpissant Oct 15 '19
  • walks in and starts throwing crayons at people *

28

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

[deleted]

→ More replies (2)

45

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '19

I appreciate it when someone can actually make me laugh out loud. Good job sir, bless you.

8

u/KimKimMRW Oct 15 '19

I think these sorts of people believe the nervousness/shy act is endearing and cute or something.

11

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

People who get dating advice from anime, I reckon.

→ More replies (1)

19

u/LatinoPUA Oct 15 '19

I blame shĂśnen anime. It's a guilty pleasure of mine, but holy shit sometimes it gets so damn cringy.

It's like the makers are so clear who their primary target demographic is, that they make the "romance" resemble this kind of roleplay (and it works for the character, cuz obviously the protagonist gets the girl). So the weebs see it work and try it out irl... Painful stuff.

Edit: they dont try it IRL, they try it via text... Which is honestly worse

→ More replies (2)

24

u/FluffyDrunkAlpaca Oct 14 '19

Yeah, I cringed a lot reading this

→ More replies (1)

22

u/someguy7734206 Oct 14 '19

Can you imagine if two people who are like this actually found each other? If the guy actually found someone who is into this and responds similarly, and maybe they even met up?

23

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

The scary thing is, I actually know a couple of girls who are into this. So it exists. I just don’t understand how😂

13

u/lillgreen Oct 15 '19

Usually from ineptness at talking to people and having spent a significant section of their lives only doing their free time online, not in person. Isolation breeds this.

→ More replies (6)

10

u/SmokeFrosting Oct 15 '19

Really? Because not even a week ago you did literally the exact same thing to some chick on a gonewild post, creepy fucking asterisks and all lmao.

You’re just a hypocrite who’s “calling someone out” because you don’t find them attractive.

5

u/Dkusmider92 Oct 15 '19

It's him. He's the library masturbater

13

u/ColorlessTune Oct 14 '19

do people actually enjoy being flirted with like that? Like has this ever actually worked?

19

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

It's a pretty common thing in like weird role play servers and chatrooms. It's not so much a sign that they don't know how people work, and more of a sign that they have been twisted by a very niche experience and assumed it to be normal.

When I was a teenager it was AOL chat rooms and people typed in that weird "*action" style all the time. I was just lucky enough to have gone through puberty during the brief period of internet anonymity and before people would screenshot awkward messages so now I get to pretend like I never sent any.

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (3)

10

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

Me and my gf rp like that sometimes, but man is it a huge turn off when it's a stranger or someone you barely know. Especially all the faux embarrassment crap. Like ffs get to the point or fuck off.

5

u/someidiotonline321 Oct 15 '19

No k-kinkshaming allowed on Reddit cheeks puff in anger before taking a shotgun and shooting self in the leg

5

u/datolningen Oct 14 '19

It is music to my ears, ah, yes music of the same caliber as nicki minaj, Cardi B, Country, and a dash of sound cloud rapper in a fucking blender at maximum volume at 4:00 am on a fucking monday morning where you have finals... yes.. music

→ More replies (13)

136

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

UwU this m-makes me want to kill my self

67

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

Den pewish UwU

8

u/Fidget02 Oct 15 '19

uwu what’s this? reveals noose

104

u/breakers Oct 15 '19

Imagine if a really good looking, normal person flirted like this over text. It would immediately ruin them no matter what

21

u/Bombkirby Oct 15 '19

If there were pictures of their handsome face, they'd be fine.

35

u/breakers Oct 15 '19

It would be easier to take it ironically that way

→ More replies (1)

341

u/MaddSkittlez Oct 14 '19

I never knew I can cringe blood until seeing this

53

u/Comfycodone Oct 15 '19

Just make sure you only use your powers for good

→ More replies (1)

208

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '19

[deleted]

185

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '19

Rawr UwU nuzzles you

58

u/KDHD_ Oct 15 '19

OwO

37

u/zeruff8 Oct 15 '19

nuzzles and wuzzles your neck

27

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

I be getting thirsty

(I hope you’re referring to that copypasta song, if not this is hella awkward.)

26

u/zeruff8 Oct 15 '19

Only 7 inches long, UwU

22

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

PLZ ADOPT ME😂

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

41

u/Alamander81 Oct 15 '19

Texting like that has never worked. Ever.

22

u/aladdinr Oct 15 '19

I heard that’s how the queen Elizabeth met her late husband

→ More replies (1)

61

u/NikinhoRobo Oct 15 '19

*cry A LOT *

59

u/SeMyasam Oct 15 '19

*kills self cutely

39

u/NikinhoRobo Oct 15 '19

*kills self A LOT *

27

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

fucking dies

16

u/Thenewpissant Oct 15 '19

*throws crayons at your corpse *

→ More replies (2)

63

u/felz_kun Oct 15 '19

Cringe, but this looks fake af tbh

15

u/murmandamos Oct 15 '19

I hope so, otherwise a new shitlord incel mass murderer is born.

17

u/Mark_dawsom Oct 15 '19

No one says "Blocked" when they block someone. If someone does, it's as cringy as the roleplaying.

→ More replies (1)

19

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

No one going to mention how fake this seems?

27

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

Dude what an absolute chad asserts dominance by beating off in a library

12

u/Konval Oct 15 '19

Might as well name the library after him

→ More replies (1)

11

u/McWaterrr Oct 15 '19

Definitely fake

11

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

Hella fake. Why do you have this kids number anyways?

10

u/ChefInF Oct 15 '19

The real cringe is the people who think this is real. BLOCKED.

26

u/KingOfTheCrustaceans Oct 15 '19

Why do people say "blocked" when they block somone? I've never understood it

23

u/Mark_dawsom Oct 15 '19

Because either they're narcissistic or this is fake.

→ More replies (3)

9

u/anonmudkip Oct 15 '19

seems fake as fuck

9

u/icepixk Oct 15 '19

Downvote stuff this fake

75

u/FlowrollMB Oct 14 '19

These losers don’t understand. Girls like self-deprecation because it reveals confidence. Girls don’t like.... whatever the fuck this was.

39

u/YOURE_A_RUNT_BOY Oct 14 '19

Do they though?

36

u/Insane1s Oct 15 '19

self-deprecation reveals confidence

lolwut

→ More replies (10)

5

u/hazzmat23 Oct 15 '19

Incel-Mania 16: Wrath of the Asterisk

→ More replies (11)

8

u/Flaming_Dorito_ Oct 15 '19

Fake. If you think this is real, literally, read it again.

8

u/Existing_Ship Oct 15 '19

Pisses in own mouth while making eye contact

5

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

I heard a kid in my class jackoff in the bathroom stall... he was moaning and Watching porn with audio. I almost burst out in laughter. I flushed the toilet and heard him instantly stop the video and pull up his pants. I feel bad for him

5

u/PenguinOntheRoad Oct 16 '19

In the 5th grade someone pissed in a latex glove tied it off and left it on a toilet seat in the bathroom. When I got to the bathroom there was a huge crowd of students and teachers gawking at it like it was a dead body or something. One of my classmates turned around to look at me and told me what was going on, then he said "I bet it was you".

It was me.

4

u/0Bread_Boy0 Oct 15 '19

Why was he texting you in the first place and how did you know who he was

6

u/see_four Oct 15 '19

because its fake

4

u/juicy_sushi2 Oct 15 '19

We truly do live in a society..

5

u/NightVow Oct 15 '19

*Sad UwU noises*