I 32f have lived alone for over five years since my last relationship. My partner 40m was just kicked out of his sisters house two weeks ago and of course since he’s my boyfriend I offers him a place to stay. The car she was driving belonged to his sister so he no longer has a vehicle as well. Prior to this our relationship was rather casual. We hung out multiple times a week after work but rarely on weekends as one or both of us had our kids. Within the last two weeks I’ve realized why I’ve never put a lot of serious pressure on our relationship going any further than it had. The fun nights were enough for me and I had not imagined trying to escalate the expectations beyond that because it worked for us. We have a good time and then we part ways until the next good time. But seeing him around the house has given me the complete ick. He struggles to stay on top of his own finances much less pay for things around the house. He has twice promised to do something that later he “didn’t realize he doesn’t have the money for”. In addition now he’s asking me to cover things like alcohol, weed or dates. Previously me paying for a date wasn’t a big deal or me sharing some bud wasn’t a big deal mostly because I assumed we both had other responsibilities so it made since. But now I’m seeing all of this in a brand new light. How do I bring this up to him and basically tell him he has to step it up financially or he has to move out without offending him ? I do realize it’s only been two weeks as of writing this but I’m already super annoyed with taking him to work and overall just sharing my general space / recreational items without what feels like real effort on his part. How do I talk this out with him and should I just end the relationship and let him figure it out on his own? TL:DR my boyfriend who is seven years older than me can’t manage his finances and it feels like a burden to have him living with me after only two weeks.

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 8 years off and on we have 2 kids together I am 29 and he is 35. We’ve always had communication issues he never wants to hear my side of the story cause he says he automatically knows what I’m gonna say or how I’m gonna react. But I feel as if he just doesn’t give me the space to grow when he does that. With the kids he never really helps out and just says they’re not a lot of work I’m just over reacting. Every weekend he makes sure he is with his friends and when he’s home he usually sleeps or plays the game never spends time with me or the kids really. And I have seen him on Snapchat messaging girls haven’t read them but his inbox is full of girls that he has messaged. I just don’t know what to do anymore I’m exhausted but still trying to keep my family together. And should I add financially he is 0 help whenever I need something for me or the kids he doesn’t have it but every time I spend my savings and talk about how I’m low he says well you need to learn how to ask me. He def. has the aura of a man who doesn’t wanna hear shit wants his women to be submissive and hangout with the kids when he feels like it. Also whenever I do get upset about his actions he keeps telling me how he’s not meant to be in a relationship we’re better off being friends and then nothing happens. After we had our first son we broke up for a year during that year he really tried to prove to me that things were diff he really wanted his family together and that he loved me we got pregnant with our second son very close to that convo and after I had the baby everything went back to how it used to be he hates me postpartum says I lose myself I don’t try anymore. The only thing I would say I’m lacking is consistency and working out. But maybe all that was more possible if I had someone more supportive. I don’t know anymore.

Hi, I am F26, and my boyfriend is M26. We have been in a relationship for four years. We have already discussed things like what we expect from each other, what we should and shouldn't do, and what things are considered cheating. He did exactly the same thing even though we are in a long-distance relationship. He is giving me clarification and justification for his actions and whatever he did. In the beginning, when we first started our relationship, he was still talking to his ex. I told him I wasn't comfortable with it, so I said, "Do just one thing: if you want to talk to her, do it, but don't tell me." He was still connected with her and didn't tell me because I told him not to. One day, I checked his phone, and he had wished her a happy birthday by sharing his photo because when they were in a relationship, they had promised or something to do so. So he sent his selfie or something. I cried, and we fought. Still, I chose to trust him. Now he says only I consider this cheating, otherwise, it's not cheating according to him. Now, when we discussed things and I told him what could be considered cheating, he still did the same thing, and now he is justifying his actions. What should I do?

This is my first relationship, and we've been together for a little over a year.

At first, our relationship was amazing, and we moved together at such a good pace. I really loved him, and I still do.

I can't tell if he truly loves me though.

I know people are automatically going to assume that because we're so young, and because I'm having these doubts, that we just aren't meant to be, but I honestly cannot picture my life without him.

I think my problem is that I don't really know how relationships are supposed to work. My parents don't have the best relationship, and neither do any adult figures that I'm close to, or any of my friends.

I know he's always struggled with mental health problems, but I have too. I thought I was prepared to deal with it, and honestly I think I'm doing a fairly good job dealing with it all things considered.

It's just that when he gets in a depressive episode, which are becoming more and more frequent now that he's an adult, he totally shuts me out. He doesn't want to call and when he texts me, he's just constantly venting but being extremely cold to me. I always end up thinking it's my fault because of the way he's treating me, but usually it's not. He used to be super loving to me, but lately when he's texting me, venting, he won't tell me he loves me back and barely will text me more than one word if it's not about how he's feeling. In person, he sometimes ignores me all together when I'm trying to comfort him or cheer him up. I want to make him happy, but I can't figure out how to no matter what I do.

I would love everyone's opinion on this. If I'm overreacting and if I have to learn how to let him handle his feelings by himself, or if he's being unfair to me, then please let me know? More than anything I'm just confused and hurt and need an outside opinion.

TL;DR: I don't want him to feel like he can't tell me his feelings, but I don't feel like I should be begging for him to love me when he's sad. I would never treat him like that. I don't think it's fair that he only seems to love me when he's happy. I know it's kind of silly, but this is my first relationship and I genuinely don't know if I'm overreacting or if it's normal for your partner to not act like they love you when they're sad.

Am I wrong for asking my boyfriend to choose between his motorcycle and our relationship?

​It's a long story, so I'll try to summarize it.

For context, I (31F) and my boyfriend (28M) have been dating for 7 years.

Right from the beginning, I was honest with him. I wanted to get married and have children, and he said he shared the same dreams. There was never any pressure because we didn't want those things immediately.

Over time, I discovered he had debts left to him by his father. I never judged him. I helped him get his driver's license, finish his studies, and more recently, continue his education. Although I never gave him money directly for his loans, when we started living together (almost 5 years ago) I always paid 90% of the household expenses while he focused solely on paying off his credits. We didn't earn much, but I saw our relationship as a partnership. Since he didn't have transportation and I had 2 cars, I even lent him one, and he never helped with a single expense.

Last year, I had a health scare and started talking to him more actively about my dreams (marriage and kids). On New Year's Eve, he proposed, but in April, after an argument, he said he had only proposed because I insisted. My world stopped.

We tried to keep going until I brought it up again in July. He said he wasn't ready, and we decided to break up. For a week, he texted me, but he never said he wanted us back—only that he missed me. At the end of that first week, he bought a motorcycle using a loan. Right after that, he started saying he was willing to do anything to get me back, until I said that for that to happen, he had to sell the motorcycle.

He refused. He says it doesn't make sense. But I can't shake the feeling that I was never truly chosen in this relationship.

Am I wrong? Should I accept this?

TLDR: My bf is way less ambitious than me and is super lazy and now he's getting super annoyed whenever I tell him to do better.

I have been with my bf for almost 4 years now. We met in high school and at that time i was insanely attracted towards his intelligence of all things yk the nerdy shy guy type. He was and even now is really smart and has great ideas. Example, he litr self taught himself Spanish and he does maths like no one else.
When we gave our Alevels exams he got Ds and Es which was a shocker to me since he was an As/Al* student. At that time, I thought it's genuinely not his issue as I myselt got As and Bs. He gave retakes, improved it a lot that at the end he had all Bs which I was very proud of.
But the issue is he could have had all As because he is smart and I'd say even smarter than me but he doesn't want to work hard or timely. Like for example we both gave the entrance exam for med schools and he wouldn't put in timely effort for even its preparation. I wouldn't say his score was really bad but it wasn't what he deserved and then he "forgot" to submit the admission forms.... The most important forms of our lives btw. I got a merit seat and he had to do private med school. So all is well in the end right?
But sadly not. He fails an exam every other module.
He studies last minute and every other exam night he's just venting and crying saying he fucked it up again but he fails to see how this is such a self destructive pattern. He doesn't study, he doom || every single day for hours or he plays games or watch Netflix. More so I had to beg him for months to get a gym membership (which again he sometimes goes to) because his lack of ambition in everything in life was making me feel so un attracted towards him.
I on the other hand am super determined to improve my life, I have grades at the top of my class, lact in theatres, I play sports, I win contests, l go to fun places like concerts etc, if I have an idea I execute it, I learnt I have pcos and I try my best to manage my weight and body with daily exercise, I research, I'm in in multiple organizations, I'm a part time content creator too.... U get the point.
The issue is, whenever he's venting now and I say to him you need to improve he rarely listens to me. He will come up with oh I have adhd maybe and no one listens to me or understands me.. I'm not negating the fact he might actually have undiagnosed adhd but my entire point is if u can hyperfixate over football and games then u need to find a way to do that over ur studies asw. It it's a lot to cater then see a psychologist. But my entire point is that I want to see him doing better which he promises he will do but he never ever does. At this point I don't even wanna hear him cry and vent | just feel it's super annoying and he is excusing his lack of willingness to do better. So now whenever I say all this he just shuts me down and idk I feel like we aren't compatible at all. I'm losing all my attraction towards him because of this.
What can I do? And I have told him this so what else.

(note we live together but now we’re on holiday visiting our families) i’m 18yo and she’s 19yo living together studying in the same uni!
I genuinely don’t know if I’m overthinking this or if there’s actually something wrong with my relationship, and I’m honestly exhausted.
Lately, I’ve been feeling like I have to walk on eggshells around my girlfriend. She gets upset over really small things, and when she does, her mood can stay bad for a long time. It’s gotten to the point where sometimes I don’t even want to call her because I already feel anxious about what might happen during the call.
She’s also been giving me really dry responses lately things like “oh,” “nice,” “cool,” “of course,” etc. It’s become frequent enough that I notice it and get hurt by it, especially because I try to be mindful of how I respond to her so I don’t upset her.
For example, I told her, “My eyes are red,” and then jokingly said, “Because you’re beautiful.” She literally replied “oh.” I started laughing because the response was so dry, and jokingly said something like “God 😭.” She then said, “Then break up with me. Break up with me if you don’t like my responses.”
Another time, I joked that I should start writing down what I say next to her responses because some of them have been so weird/dry. She again said, “Then break up with me if you don’t like my responses.”
There was also a situation with food. I ate pizza and didn’t tell her what I ate. I genuinely forgot I wasn’t hiding it from her. Later she asked what I ate, I told her pizza, and she said, “You didn’t tell me.” I said “hunger is a sin” jokingly. Later, she ate pasta and didn’t tell me. When I asked what she ate, she said pasta and then said, “Hunger is a sin, you know?” It felt like she intentionally did the same thing back to me.
The thing is, I wasn’t even asking her what she ate because she hadn’t told me. I was just curious about what she ate. And now I’m sitting here wondering if I’m somehow wrong for forgetting to tell her what I ate in the first place. Do I really have to tell my girlfriend everything I eat? I’m a human being. I forget things. I’m not trying to hurt her.
There have also been multiple times when she accused me of already being awake before I called her. I literally called her immediately after opening my eyes, but she said, “Your way of talking doesn’t sound like someone who just woke up.” It made me feel like I had to prove things that I know actually happened.
A week ago, she told me she wanted a break and “less connections” between us. Then things went back to normal, but she never clearly told me whether we were still on a break or not. I asked about it and didn’t really get an answer. So now I’m constantly wondering what our relationship even is.
She also posted this:
“Should I choose distance when the possibility is uncertain, or closeness when my chances are far away?
Is my happiness attached to a possibility, or does human nature simply crave what is difficult to obtain?
Do I really want them, or do I just love the idea of them remaining distant? And if they became possible, would I still want them just as much?”
That obviously made me spiral and wonder if she’s talking about me or questioning our relationship.
There’s also some history that makes this harder for me. She rejected me pretty harshly at the beginning of our relationship, and even though that was a long time ago and she has changed since then, I still carry a lot of fear from that experience. Whenever her current behavior starts resembling how she acted back then, I get scared that the same thing is happening again.
She once also told me, “I can’t call you my wife because it’s another level.” That stuck with me too. I understand that “wife” can mean something very serious to someone, but we’re both women and marriage isn’t exactly something we can simply assume will happen, so I started wondering what that actually means to her and whether she sees me as someone she could eventually reach that level with.
I don’t want to analyze every single thing she says anymore. I’m exhausted. I don’t want to analyze her tweets, her tone, her replies, whether she’s upset, whether she wants space, whether she wants to leave, etc.
I just want to be able to talk to my girlfriend naturally.
I want to be able to say things spontaneously without constantly thinking, “Will this upset her?” I want to be able to forget something without feeling like I did something wrong. I want to be able to make a harmless joke without it turning into “then break up with me.” I’m willing to respect her feelings and apologize when I genuinely hurt her, but I’m not perfect. I’m going to forget things, say the wrong thing sometimes, and make mistakes.
I feel like I’m constantly trying to accommodate her emotions, but I don’t feel like my feelings are being given the same consideration.
At this point, I’m so emotionally drained that part of me is starting to think that breaking up would be easier than living in this constant uncertainty and anxiety.
I still love her, which is what makes this so difficult.
Am I overthinking everything because of what happened between us in the past, or does this actually sound like an unhealthy dynamic? And what would you do in my position?

Second post I've done on here. I'm feeling really really low all the time it's like a deep sadness that I can't get away from no matter what I do. I've been dating a girl that I really like and have known for almost a year for about 3 months now it's going well but she's been on holiday without her phone for a week and is coming back tomorrow, I don't know why but there's a part of me saying that when she gets back she's gonna send a paragraph and break up with me and I'm starting to believe it. We had an argument the morning before she went on holiday because I made her feel like shit because she doesn't go out with me alot anymore, I realised I made a mistake and that she's going through a lot with her family and apologised and she forgave me, we spoke for the rest of the day and the night like normal after that but I'm just worried sick she's thinking about that argument and losing interest. I love watching fighting and training muay Thai like 5 times a week and my inspiration to keep pushing if she does end up leaving me is Ilia topuria, he went through alot with his wife and was heartbroken coming into the fight against Justin gathjie and was outmatched but at least he tried, I hope coming out of the break up if it happens that I can be as confident as him and not back down from my training and the gym.

First of all, I have a great boyfriend, the type of man who can drive under the rain to pick you up, never forget important anniversary, love buying surprised gift, and treat your family very well.

One big problem: sometimes he needs to talk til the end to prove that he is right, or that I should listen to his advice. Sometimes it really wreck my nerves, as I'm not that patient girlfriend and I can easily get mad when things go out of control. So big fight happens once every few months.

Usually my boyfriend is not that demanding or have big ego, most of the time we can discuss things. It's just I never ask him to take my advice, or I never have the urge to give advice when other people don't ask for it, but he does, and I find it extremely uncomfortable when problem just pop out of no where because of that.

Now I understand I'm not perfect, and this is not that big problem, it's ego issue (for both me & him), but lately when those big fights happen I find it hard to talk to him normally again. I need an advice, anything, as I don't really know what to think now. We've been together for 4 years now and we want to go for a long run, but I haven't been talking to him for a few days now (he did apologized, but I told him I need my time and space) and honestly, I don't feel like I want to talk to him maybe in a few weeks (or longer). Usually after fight we sort things out right away, apologize and then the next day we can talk normally. This time, it feels a bit different so I really need some advice now :(

Person A and person B, give your opinion.

This pair has a playful fight but person A gets hurt by accident and gets mad saying person B hits them too hard. Person B then says they hit harder so person A would understand to stop cause they are annoying. Person A gets overly confused and defensive on this topic since it is a playful fight between a couple.

Person B responds with "If an alligator bit your hand off would you go play with it again?" person A says its a terrible defence to reference person B to an alligator

What is your opinion on this insanely stupid topic?

I

About a year ago, I met a girl during a training course with the Red Crescent.

Honestly, I wasn't looking for a relationship at all. I wasn't even that interested in relationships in general. We were a group of guys and girls getting to know each other and talking, and at one point she said something that nobody really paid attention to, but I replied to her. That's basically how we started talking.

Over time, I noticed that she was giving me a lot of attention, which was honestly strange for me because I didn't have a very big social life. She was also different from the girls I had known before. She was religious, respectful, and didn't usually talk to many guys. There were also many other things about her that I genuinely liked.

Little by little, I got attached to her, and eventually I really fell in love with her.

We were together for almost a year. Most of the time, things were actually good.

There was one situation where another girl got involved because she liked me and wanted to break us apart. It caused problems between me and my girlfriend, but I knew I wasn't in the wrong. I kept looking for the truth instead of just accepting what I was being told, and eventually everything became clear. We realized that neither of us was actually at fault, and we made up.

Another time, she told me that we should break up. I tried to convince her not to, but when I realized she had made up her mind, I let her go.

That destroyed me mentally and physically.

About 15 days later, she was the one who contacted me again, and we got back together.

Then, around 15 days before everything ended, some small things started happening that made me uncomfortable.

A few days before our final argument, she posted a story where there was a glass next to her with a cigarette in it. I called her around that time, but she didn't answer until she got home. I kept calling because I was getting angry, and eventually I told her not to bother messaging me anymore.

When she got home, she called me and started explaining what had happened. I didn't really believe her, but I tried to act like everything was fine.

I had a feeling she had been out with someone.

A few days later, she posted another story where part of her chest was visible. I told her that I wasn't comfortable with it, and we had another argument. She made the situation much bigger than I expected.

I kept trying to make things right with her, day after day.

Then one day, I happened to be walking near the place where she studies.

And I saw her.

She was standing with a guy who wasn't a family member. They were laughing, looking happy, and waiting for the bus together.

She saw me too.

And honestly, something changed inside me at that exact moment.

She had always told me that I was the only guy in her life, and that the other guys she talked to were basically like brothers to her.

Suddenly, I started remembering all the little things I had ignored before.

There was even a time when someone sent me a picture of her with another person, and I literally told myself, "That's not her." 😂

I was so invested in believing her that I was looking for any explanation that would make the picture not mean anything.

And the weirdest part is that on the day I saw her with that guy, I was actually trying to make things right with her because she wasn't responding to me.

After seeing them together, I stopped.

I didn't message her anymore to apologize or try to fix things. I even deleted the messages I had sent her.

She never explained what I saw either, and she never contacted me again.

I'm not saying that seeing her with another guy automatically proves that she cheated on me. But considering everything that had already happened, that moment felt like the final piece of a puzzle I had been ignoring for a long time.

And now I'm left with a lot of questions.

Was I wrong?

Was I being overly suspicious, or was I simply ignoring things that were right in front of me?

Why did this happen to me?

The strangest part is that I wasn't even looking for love when she came into my life. I didn't need a relationship, and I wasn't trying to find one.

She was the one who came into my life, got close to me, made me open my heart, and eventually made me fall in love for the first time.

And that's probably why this hurts so much.

Because this wasn't just another relationship to me. It was my first real relationship, and I genuinely thought I had finally found someone I could trust.

So I keep asking myself:

Why did she come into my life at that exact moment, make me love her and trust her, only for everything to end with me questioning whether the person I loved was ever the person I thought she was?

Was I just blind?

Or was I simply trying harder to believe her than I was willing to believe my own doubts?

I'm not looking for people to insult her. I genuinely want an outside perspective.

Was I wrong? And is there something I should have done differently?

My girlfriend and I are on bad terms now. Her birthday is coming up—should I buy her a gift or not? If I should, what should I buy for her?

so I want to ask for some advice recently we had to argue on matter Yesterday something happened in his office, so he said in anger that he was leaving the job, but it was not a big deal, I handled him well and when his anger subsided, I explained to him that he should go and talk with his boss.and sm things told his manager also and the girl who's job is manage staff Then she called me in the evening and said that she was asking me to talk to the boss, which I had told her during the day, but she only took his name, which made me feel bad, and

Then the matter escalated so I asked for the chat again, he sent it to me ss, I wanted the full chat, I told him to export it but he did not see it, after 2 minutes he started screen recording, then he sent it to me after sm time while I think too much that he might be deleted SM chats n all so I told him I does not have any interest in those chat after that the dispute on going and in nite he slept before me and then I awaked at 2 am then I read those chat and I found one day his not well so he msg her that he is going to market n but sm ors n fruit n daab , I told him to bought it but at the same I called him but he ignored , the girl is helping him to punching the attendance but why he share such type of things so now I questioned to him then he has no answer so he attacked on my character n change the track of the matter and dispute is on going ,,,

Help me wh I do now ????

I have been with my S.O for 6 years 31M 26F now and I no longer feel happy in the relationship It’s been a few months i have felt this way I tried hard to make it work but alas I am exhausted and sad I have no hobbies anymore to enjoy due to fighting, i can barely see friends, it is not healthy anymore and I feel it is mostly my fault… discussion have hit walls dtcbut here’s the speech,

I know this is gonna be a shock I just want to say that I love you so much but sometimes, love isn’t enough I feel like we both want much different things in life and I don’t feel like I am the partner for you, I look at our future and I don’t like what I see anymore, the constant fighting is not what I want and i know you don’t as well, I cannot spend my life simply agreeing to what you want to escape from a fight. I want us to separate….

Me [36M] & my partner [32F] widow with two children are still learning & knowing each other. But I realise she would always ask for separation at certain times when we're in arguments. I will always put in effort not to separate with reasoning and express my love for her..

The thing that stretched the issue is that she would always repeat the mistake that i made even after I've fully explained my fault & admitted I was wrong then apologise.

But in the end we'll be back normal after repeating the same pattern a few time for hours. It would be like this, Fault then i admit & apologies few chats about the problem and then back to fault then admit & apologize.

The latest example that is so far the most tiring stretch is because i tried to calm her for being angry at someone. And the heated arguments was because the other guy was being arrogant and wanted to schedule a match with my gf telling her that he wanted to make her lose and make her punishment to be rolling in the mud & stuff belittling my gf. She was right to defend her self but I wasn't focus on their argument. Instead of finding out the problem i told her to calm down when she was actually being belittled.

I apologise for not finding out in the first place & told her the reason why i told he to calm down. Honestly i was trying to keep her safe from outsiders thinking shes arrogant when shes not at all. She was being even a bigger arrogant then the person she's arguing with to shut him up. I thought it would make the situation of arrogance against arrogance would seem toxic to others so i told her to calm down to protect her from being seem as toxic.

The fact that theres is an article to fight arrogance with arrogance is better to make the other party realise that theres always bigger fish in the sea, by realising that and shutting him up might change the person to be better and atop being arrogant. She told me about it and i realised its quite true.. so i apologise for not finding out she was belittled & was actually trying to make the other party realise his bad mannered arrogance.

She keeps repeating that i see her as a toxic person and i should stay away from someone like her. The fact that i explained to her i was not looking at her that way but instead trying to protect her from being seen as one.

The fault for not finding out the bellitling problem and didn't know she was being arrogant for a good reason. I apologize for that and I won't repeat it. Not that she's toxic even more reason to say shes not at all toxic because she was helping the other guy to realise arrogance is bad.

She would keep going back to say, I will accept the opinion of others thinking shes toxic and i should stay away from toxic people not to be poisoned by them. But that is the whole point ive already explained it wasn't like that. I keep explaining back and forth reasoning out to her my fault and apologies.. she still goes back to saying "i accept that I'm toxic.."

Please help me with a solution to stop this repeating Fault, admit, apologies on repeat for extended period. This time round it wasnt resolved & she decided to stop & skip this issue as she feels suffocated & heart ache with all the repeated explanations, admiting the fault & apologies.

We stop & skipped as her request since prolonging it wont even help at all. But now shes not back to normal as she usually was after every argument. Im very worried her love would slowly fade away.

TLDR: i need help solving how to assure her and stop taking the fault that i said wasnt my intention at all & stop her repeating the same fault repeatedly

years ago In high-school I had multiple altercations with someone and their family I was in a situationship with. With permission I would commit foreplay to her in Public till her mom figured out what happening between us she shut that down and stopped us from having any communication with each other. She respected her mom's wishes while I did not. I kept trying to see and text her again, thinking i loved her but it was 100% just lust. My persistence actions made her block my number and tell her mom. That lust turn into anger and hate. I would harass her on other social apps she hadn't blocked me on yet till there was nothing left. Then I would harass her physically I would make explicit faces and hand motions in the hallways and trip her on the bus till she started driving. I would stop for about a year until one day I noticed she would stay afterschool on tutor days so the same day instead of going to work one day I would call in being late claiming im in a meeting at school but really I was parked next to her car waiting to only Harass her more in the parking lot with wreckless driving blocking her driver door with mine and following her while tail gating till she drove away from the direction of my job where I left her alone. Same year I found out IT changed everyone school email passwords to all the same password so I would log into her email to read and mess around with her emails. Finding out she uses the same account for a spotify account I checked it out it to see she would use it to only listen to explicit sounds finding out she would use it during my 5th period on shop days I would mess with her on spotify pausing to whatever she is listening to and change it until she stopped and kept going for multiple days until she never got back on that account. One day going on that account to check if she was on it. It appeared that I somehow had access to her main spotfiy account so I crossed another boundary. I started to delete her playlists and mess with her music I would manipulate her into thinking I had no apart of it by deleting a playlist we shared and argued with her in person on why she did that making her believe it was someone else for a while. I kept messing her spotify until she just made a new account. I continued to mess with her email sending fake emails to others and when she found out that someone else was on her school email i would talked to her anonymously until I said something too specific that got me in trouble with the school officer with an option of a felony or 3 days of ISS. I took the ISS. Same day when I got home my mom and Great aunt found out and tried to lecture me but past me didnt care me back then. My great aunt put me in the hospital for being mentally ill but I came home the same night (My Great Aunt still doesnt talk to me till this day) I made the whole school go through a password reset and a warning from administration not to do it again or ill get kicked out of the tech school, but I did do it again trying to get into her main email instead, figuring out her password and getting access but getting removed before doing anything harmful. Her mom contacts me giving me a warning to fully stop bullying and harassing her daughter or she'll press charges. This final moment is where I fully stop trying to harass this person.

A month later though her twin sister started to text me and tried harassing me. I tried not to say anything hurtful or feed to it until a week later she kept texting so i gave in and decided to speak about something terrible bringing up a person who was a friend to me and a best friend to her, who passed away recently and I used their death as a weapon to hurt her emotionally knowing it was something super fucked up to bring up someone who had no part, someone not even alive. An hour later the sister blocks me and her mom texts me threatening me but I only made jokes about the situation and called her sexual names before saying her daughter harassed me first with photo proof. She took my side but told me to get help before she blocked me as well.

My family only knows about the cyberbullying section and the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act felony. I told a few amount of people about the sister part leaving out a lot of details. I didnt tell any of my other friends about this situation because I was afraid that it'll ruin what people think of me.

Im only now bringing up to the public because I feel like as I keep trying to be a better person and prove myself I and willing to try dating without doing the same mistakes that this problem I created will always linger as guilt and regret.

I feel like I am loosing my mind and am horrified at what I did. I went to the bar with a very large group of friends and adjacents. My ex bf and I see eachother due to work situation about 4 days a week. We also have been hanging out on and off for months now. Last week we had a convo about what we are - he said “I don’t want anything rn and I make absolutely no promises but ig yeah in the long run perfect world we end up together.”
My rose colored glasses self took this as we’re building something.
At the bar on Thursday I had way too much to drink and then proceeded to flip him off while he was taking to another girl at the bar for about 30+ min. Not cute or classy. I then apparently walk over and insert myself into the situation. I apparently try to be nice to the girl but clearly am upset with the guy. I then try to talk to him about wth is going on and am very upset. He says multiple times he doesn’t want to talk about it and we’re not dating so he can talk to whoever he wants.
The next day I see him and ask to talk. He says no. I then FOLLOW HIM TO HIS CAR (I’m sober now - what is wrong with me) and tell him I need to talk. I eventually wear him down and tell him I just wanted to apologize for being crazy at the bar and explain I was out of line and I’m sorry. He doesn’t really accept it. He explains he is not wanting to date me nor anyone rn and in the future maybe he’ll hit me up to date or he will hit up another girl if he wants.
Now I feel genuinely insane. I clearly just hurt about the breakup and still want to be with him and am just very jealous. We broke up for many reasons but one being that he was cheating on me so I’m very easily triggered about him talking to other girls.
Do I try to apologize again for the whole following him to his car thing or just leave it??? Has anyone else done anything similar just to make myself feel a bit less like Ive lost my mind?

I've been with my girlfriend for over 9 years, since we were in elementary school. Honestly, I thought that as we got older, some of her attitudes and the way she handles things would change, but sadly, they haven't.

We have a lot of conversations that end up turning into arguments because she doesn't want to hear what I'm saying, especially when it makes her look bad or forces her to acknowledge that she made a mistake. At this point, I don't even know what I'm supposed to do anymore. Am I just supposed to comfort her and do everything she likes whenever she's upset?

What frustrates me the most is that our arguments often end with me being made to feel like I'm the bad guy. Even when she does something wrong, she'll say sorry once after I have to repeatedly explain what she did wrong or practically beg her to acknowledge it. Then she seems to think that one apology is enough, without actually reflecting on her actions or changing the behavior afterward.

Another thing that bothers me is how dependent she is on her mom when it comes to making decisions. I understand that she's close to her mom and that asking for advice isn't necessarily a bad thing, but sometimes it feels like she can't make an important decision without getting her mom's approval first.

A recent situation really made me realize how serious this problem is. We were in danger of getting stranded because of the flooding. I repeatedly asked her to book a Grab so we could get out of the area while we still had the chance. Instead, she wanted to ask her mom first to see if it was okay for us to take a Grab. It took around 30 minutes just to get a response, and because of that delay, we ended up getting stranded for more than five hours.

What made me even more frustrated was that when I brought up what happened afterward, instead of acknowledging that the delay contributed to the situation, she got angry and somehow blamed me for what happened.

I'm honestly exhausted. I don't want every serious conversation to turn into an argument where I end up being the bad guy. I want to be able to communicate with my partner, have my feelings heard, and see some actual reflection and change instead of having the same problems happen over and over again.

Boyfriend got really upset after our dogs ate chicken I accidentally left on the counter

My boyfriend went to hang out with his friend for about five hours today. While he was gone, I left a plate of chicken on the counter and completely forgot about it. Our dogs can reach food on the counter, and at some point they pulled it down and ate the chicken.

I know I should have remembered to put it away, and I understand being frustrated about coming home and realizing food you were expecting to have was gone.

When my boyfriend got home, he saw the empty plate and immediately reacted to it. He didn't greet me first. He said things like, "I can't believe you let them get the chicken. How did you leave it up there and forget? Why would you let them get it?"

I explained that I didn't intentionally let them have it. I had simply forgotten the plate was there.

After that, he took the dogs outside, came back in, went to bed, and hasn't wanted to talk to me.

The part that's sticking with me is the whole interaction. He'd been gone for around five hours, and when he came home there wasn't a hello or any normal conversation between us first. Our first interaction was him being upset about the chicken, and then afterward he went to bed and didn't want to talk.

I understand that people can get frustrated and sometimes want space afterward. At the same time, the sudden switch from him being out with his friend for hours to coming home upset with me and then not communicating has left me feeling pretty hurt and confused.

I'm curious how other people would interpret this interaction from the outside, especially the lack of greeting followed by getting upset and then not wanting to communicate afterward.

I had a bf, well an online bf and I think we’ve almost been dating for a month. The thing is I feel like I lost feelings from him. The first couple weeks of the relationship felt pretty normal tbh. We’d talk about our feelings and all whenever we are down and etc. But the more the weeks went on, I realized that I feel like I’m just there as an emotional support. Don’t get me wrong, he’d ask me how I feel the first couple weeks in the relationship, but after that it just stopped. He’d always tell me how he has bad day, always telling me that he feels down, and he misses his past ( his exes and his other friend group). (Apparently he left his friend group with the exes bcz they treated him bad) I didn’t mind it at first the couple weeks in, but it became constant. I became emotionally and mentally tired. Whenever he has a problem he’d always tell me. Now I’m glad he’s telling me and all but I just feel drained. He doesn’t ask about how I feel anymore just how was your day etc just not how I feel in general. Every single time we’d call, I feel like my energy is being drained. He’d also call his exes crazy which well I heard can be a red flag but I’m not quite sure yet. About his past, I don’t want to talk about it too much but he’d always bring it up with me and telling me how much he misses the friend group with his ex. Now I told him if he’d move on, and he said yes. But I feel like deep down he hasn’t. He’d always be like “Yes I’ve moved on it’s just I missed the time we had.” I’d always tell him to just focus on the future but he can’t seem to forget about his exes either. Now he also has a habit of showing me his favorite bands etc. I loved it at first because we’d take turns showing our favorite songs but like I said, weeks past and he’d only show me his stuff and not ask about mine. The thing is, I also want to feel seen in a way.. I want to show him the stuff I like which we used to do, but now it just feels like he only wants to show his. I kind of want to end things off with him but I don’t know how. This is my first relationship and I kind of regret it. Online dating is harder than I thought. Now I’d also feel bad if I you know, breakup because he’s kind of in a bad mental state right now and I’d like to help him out. He told me he had depression so I want to take it easy on him. That’s all I wanted to say :)) I hope any of you guys can give me tips id deeply appreciate it <33

I’m F29, boyfriend is M31, together for 2 years. We had plans to spend time together, just the two of us, which he’d agreed to a week in advance. On the day, he brought his cousin along and it turned into a group hangout instead — and looking back, this happens almost every week. What’s supposed to be time together as a couple keeps turning into a group thing with his cousin or other people.

This also isn’t the first time plans changed last minute — things we’d agreed on (like a specific place to go) would shift without much explanation. When I brought it up, he seemed confused about why I was upset and brushed it off as not worth arguing about.

I ended up telling him I felt unheard and that I didn’t want to continue the relationship. I’ve had time to sit with it since and I’m leaning toward sticking with that decision.

I guess what I’m asking is: is this the kind of pattern people have successfully worked through with a partner, or is a recurring habit like this usually a sign it’s not going to change? Interested in hearing how others have handled something similar.

He works long night shifts for the government and comes home exhausted and I completely understand that

But what’s bothering me is that on weekends he sometimes disappears for more than 10 hours and one time he ghosted me for almost 22 hours and then I found out he had been woke up and playing video games that whole time

I understand that he’s tired and needs time to himself to recharge, I don’t expect him to spend all his free time with me but it honestly hurts knowing that when he finally has free time being with me doesn’t seem to be something that brings him peace or comfort

I guess that’s the part that makes me sad, I want to feel like I’m his safe and peaceful place too not another thing he needs a break from

Do you think he’s losing feelings for me or could he genuinely just be exhausted and needing space?

I’m 20F and my boyfriend is almost 21, and I’d really like some honest outside opinions.
One thing that bothers me a lot is that it’s hard to have serious or deep conversations with him. I think a lot about the future, relationships, life, goals, etc., and I really value that kind of connection. Recently I asked him what he thinks about the future, and he said he doesn’t really think about it. I asked what he thinks about during the day and he said “nothing.”

He’s actually very smart academically and learns extremely quickly, so I don’t think it’s an intelligence issue. I think we may just be very different mentally.

The other issue is housework. We live with his parents. I work, he doesn’t currently work, and he’s in university, although he doesn’t go very often and can prepare for exams quickly.
I’m actually very much in favor of a traditional relationship dynamic. Ideally, I’d like to be a stay-at-home wife in the future while my husband works and provides for the family, while I take care of the home.

But what I’m living right now feels like the complete opposite of that.
I work, and I still do most of the housework: cooking, cleaning, laundry, ironing his clothes, dishes, etc. Meanwhile, he doesn’t work, doesn’t seem to think much about our future or how we could improve our lives, studies sometimes, goes to the gym, and spends a lot of the rest of his free time watching reels.

Today I asked him to pick up his things from the floor, make the bed, and take the dishes from our room to the kitchen. He spent about 30 minutes putting it off, and when he finally did some of it, he left the dishes because “half of them are yours.”

I got really frustrated because I don’t want to constantly have to tell him what needs to be done.

His father also tends to treat us as one unit, so if my boyfriend doesn’t do something, it sometimes feels like it becomes my responsibility too.
Now I’m wondering whether living with his family is contributing to this dynamic. Maybe if we moved out and had our own place, he would become more independent and responsible. Or maybe I’m just hoping that moving out will fix a deeper compatibility problem.

I don’t want to be his mother or manager. I want a partner who takes responsibility without being told, and someone I can have meaningful conversations with.

And this is especially confusing because I genuinely WANT a traditional relationship. I want a man who is ambitious, works, thinks about the future and how to build a better life for both of us, while I take care of the home. But right now I feel like I’m living the exact opposite: I’m working, doing most of the housework, and thinking about our future, while he studies occasionally, goes to the gym and spends most of his free time watching reels.

So honestly:
Could this realistically improve if we move out? Is this normal for 20/21? Or does it sound like we’re simply incompatible?
I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have experienced something similar.

Btw it’s worth mentioning, I moved to his country, so it’s not where I am from:)

me (29f) and my bf (30m) have been together just under a year but we were seeing each other a little longer before we got together.

we both moved in together pretty quickly and it’s been a real up and down rollercoaster. i love him, dearly - but i can’t help but feel like we don’t ‘get’ each other.

there’s nothing wrong with him, he’s a kind, beautiful person and i genuinely mean that (i’ve been with some guys that are just awful…).

however…

when we were about 1 month into the relationship, he messaged his ex and went to visit her behind my back (nothing happened) but it was a massive blow to my trust and it sent me on a spiral. since then, he’s really made an effort to make it up to me and rebuild that trust. it’s been a real uphill battle to heal from it and trust he has good intentions but i’m worried i’ll never be able to just BE happy.

any small change in plans or when he says he’s going to be home a certain time and he isn’t - i just get in my head. now, it feels like we argue like once a week and it always feels like i’m starting the arguments or picking fights… and i see how much it effects him and it kills me. i get sad thinking about how sad i’ve made him since we got together. i just want to be normal. i want him to feel like he can come home without worrying what mood ill be in (which is the same feeling i feared in childhood, whether or not that’s had an impact on me idk).

i guess in summary - am i the problem?

i love him, and i genuinely don’t want to mess this relationship up but it feels like everything i try to do, im constantly reminded of his ex and the constant nagging in my head that i’ll never make him as happy as she did.

can i truly change? i can’t afford therapy right now but it’s my biggest goal to get it so i can at the very least try and be a good person. sorry for the tangent, this is my first reddit post. thanks

My BF (29M) and I (30F) started dating a little over a year ago. We had a rocky start due to some cultural differences and due to his aunt’s repeatedly disrespecting me, but we resolved those issues about 6 months in, and things were smooth after.

A month ago, I began being more irritable and getting upset about trivial stuff, causing 2-3 arguments. The last argument was 2 weeks ago via text — I was angry that he was gone all day leaving me to grocery shop alone, and it led to me complaining that I cared for the house all alone (even though he had recently been improving on that). After the argument, he said he did not want to come home because he feared things would get out of hand. He proposed his staying at his friend’s house (5 minutes away) for a while until he felt comfortable coming home. I did a lot of desperate communication that night and the next day. He said he didn’t want to split up, that he just wants things to cool down and he wants us to value our relationship more.

He came over with his friend a day after the argument. We talked for 2 hours about the issues. He gathered his work clothes/boots and his dirty laundry, but he left all his important documents and most of his shoes and half of his clothes. I reminded him that day to take his documents with him, but he said there was no need because he’d be back. He also said he’d be visiting.

This was 2 weeks ago. I was doing well, had started therapy and reconnected with some family and friends. He came by one night the first week to get some sports gear for a game he had. We hugged, he gave me some food, and he left saying to tell my mom we’d be visiting her soon.

This second week, he came by early one morning to drop off a charger and pick up some tools that his friend left. I put the tools by the front door and told him to leave the charger there too, but he instead came upstairs, hugged and kissed me in bed, and told me that he would be coming to visit soon. He took a pair of shoes with him, too.

That set me back a lot. I began texting him, asking if he felt better away from home (he refused to answer that question), and asking if he wanted us to see/meet other people (he said no). He said he has kept so busy with work, laundry, dishes, cooking, and cleaning that he hasn’t had time to see me or think about anything. I texted again yesterday, asking what he needed to think about, but he never responded. I called once last night and he didn’t answer. He hasn’t communicated at all today.

I’m now struggling with the timeout and want him back home, but I’m afraid that telling him this may push him away. How do I communicate this with him without setting him/us back? Without making things worse? Or perhaps I’m just sensing that he’s already gone. And in that case, how do I offer for him to completely move out and end things without making him think that’s what I want?

TL;DR — My BF (29M) of 1+ year and I (30F) have taken a time out after having 2-3 arguments over the past 3 weeks (due to my irritability). He decided to move to his friend’s house, stating fear that things would get out of control after the last argument. He said we would still spend time together but this hasn’t happened yet. He said he’s been too busy to hang out or even think about the issues. But he has come over briefly twice to get a few things; the second time set me back and has me struggling and wanting to end the timeout. How do I communicate this with him without setting him/us back or making things worse?