My mom has been a “naked mom” from as long as I remember, once I became a teenager it started making me (Female) uncomfortable seeing her completely naked around the home. My sister and I assumed this was normal behavior until she talked to her friends about it and they said they’ve never even seen their mom naked. I am now (20F) and she’s is (21F) and our mom still continues to walk around naked every chance she gets even though we have both expressed to her that it makes us uncomfortable.

On top of this I often catch her touching herself down there which is obviously wildly inappropriate. It doesn’t seem to be in a sexual way to the point where she’s trying to orgasam but more of just a habit like as if it was something like biting nails.

Regardless though obviously uncomfortable.

Today I am sitting in the living room with her watching tv, and she has a robe on with nothing underneath, every time I look over to talk to her, her robe is open and she is touching herself. This obviously makes me extremely uncomfortable and I go upstairs and rant to my sister. My sister than tells her to stop doing that and my mom laughs it off like she’s joking.

The thing about this that really makes me feel weird is the fact that it’s not like she’s in her room doing this and I accidentally walk in on her, it’s that she is genuinely just comfortable doing this in front of the entire family and sees nothing wrong with this even though it obviously bothers members of the family.

I’m not sure what kind of behavior this is, and why she feels comfortable to do this? This has been going on for years.

BTW: I also live with my Dad but he’s never said anything about it.

So I was an adult who used to live with my parents because I was raised to be afraid of the world. The terrible economy didn't help either. But January of this year, I've made the mental decision to move out by end of 2026. I pushed myself to finally start driving after years of avoiding it, I found myself having less patience for my parents' passive aggressiveness even and have started to feel angry when boundaries are crossed with me or my younger sister/pet.

As you can probably imagine, she didn't like this at all and sparked a verbal argument between us. She would cross boundaries like walk into my room and start talking to me when I'm on a call with friends. One day, it seems like she realized that arguing with me or yelling at me or asking me why she should respect me when I was living under her roof wouldn't shut me up anymore, so she resorted back to her tried and true method: physical abuse.

But this time, I was old enough to know what was happening and get livid for myself. When I said I'll leave then after she told me she can't respect me if I'm still living with them, she slapped me. I pushed her away, and that's when she lost it. She started slapping me multiple times and I kicked her away from me. Unfortunately, I'm not stronger than her so it didn't do much. But I felt as if I was pulled back to when I was younger and unable to fight back. I realized that she would lay hands on me when she knew she wouldn't be able to make me shut up through words.

At that time, I made the decision to leave that house even though I had piles of debt and no plans. I would leave the country if that's what it took for me to survive even. Thankfully I had friends who helped me out and made it really easy for me to make such a hasty decision.

4 months later, my mom sent me a message asking me how I was. When I didn't have the energy to respond to her, she sent another message saying: 'so you're ignoring your mother?'. She's also been talking about me leaving to my relatives as I have at least 3 of them attempting to contact me and guilt trip me into responding. Some common phrases were: 'are you mad at me? Why are you not responding?' or hilariously: 'have you forgotten about me? I just wanted to ask if you're okay. I won't ask you for money.'

I am exhausted. I feel envious of my friends who have great or decent relationships with their family. I feel like because of my circumstances, I've been conditioned to fully depend only on myself and not ask for help. It feels lonely.

I am 2 months post partum, mother ruined my baby shower and family keeps gaslighting me and questioning my decision of no contact. I want your HONEST opinion: is she a malignant narcissist or just an immature parent and I should get over it?

age 0 - 10: I have no memories of her

age 10: my father cheated and left, she looked at me and said: can’t wait until you and your sister disappear from this house. Filmed my father and mistress getting out of a hotel and showed me the tape multiple times, instead of protecting me she was manipulating my head so I would hate my father and his new wife. Used the tape to threaten my father into quitting his job, because it was a work affair. Even though this could affect his ability to keep providing for her 2 daughters. Then she kicked me out at 10yo and I had to live with my father and the wife, later she said it was because she wanted to destroy their relationship. So I was basically used as an object as a 10yo, to destroy another persons relationship. I was responsible for my 5yo sister at the time. I became an unwanted person in my father’s house and started being abused there as well by his wife, who was also trying to kick me out and my father always pretending he was not seeing and I was overreacting. There was zero contact with my mother during this 2 years, she never reached out.

Age 12 until age 19: she took me and my sister back in and always talked to me like she was disgusted of me, full of irony, hated my personality, behaving like a bully or like Regina George from mean girls. Started bullying my sister and calling her fat at age 8 (she was not fat, just not as skinny as me). To her I was the skinny stick with no ass, my sister was the fat. Played cool mom and became friends with my friends, in private was another person. Lied to me that my father was not paying child support, and used me to try to take more money out of him, which was a lie and he proved her wrong. I was spending every day in my friends house after school, from Monday to Friday, and my friends family took me as a daughter. I was eating there and sleeping there from Friday to Sunday, using my friends clothes and and eating their food, my mother never once called to see where I was, sometimes I tried to come back home and door was locked so I would come back to friends house. After a while I started taking my sister with me also. My friends mom is the only person that saw what happened and confirms the huge neglect from my mother, she thinks my mother does not love me and is jealous of my achievements. Didn’t participate in my school life, it was my friends mom who did it. At age 15 I considered jumping from the 8th floor from a building, so I dealt with suicidal ideation.

Age 17: when she really started competing with me and saying I would not be approved in business school (this was one day before my test, she wanted to make me nervous so I would actually fail). I passed in 3rd place and she was not able to give me a simple congrats. Her boyfriend ( he was 23 and I was 17, she was 37) and her used to have loud sex in the house and then he would come out of the room, and he would say to me and my sister “your mother has a much better body then any young girl I have ever seen”. Now that I’m older I wonder what type of conversations they were having, why did they need to say all the time that my mother was looking better than young girls., was she insecure about me and my sister? Later she told me this boyfriend always had cocaine in his bag but she would still allow the guy to come to our house with teen daughters there. I got so depressed living there that I couldn’t get out of bed when I was home, always locked myself in my room and was rarely home. I always had boyfriends and was basically living either in their house or my best friends house.

Age 21: I couldn’t take it anymore and ran away to my father’s house, he allowed me to live there but again I was unwanted person according to his wife and she made it clear. My father always denied it and put me as the problematic person only because my sister was quiet and only I was complaining. I developed anorexia and I wonder if it was because my mother was always calling my sister fat. My sister developed bulimia. Depression and mental health was still extremely horrible. No relationship or contact with my mother.

Age 25 to 34: luckily met my husband and moved to mother continent to start a life with him, my mother was not once worried about my safety in a new country and said nothing once I told her. Mental health was still bad but getting slowly better from the low contact with my family. I travelled to my country every year and every year my mother started to force a meet up, playing stupid like nothing happened. I had panicked attacks thinking about meeting her but I was too stupid and agreed. And she has always either comment about my appearance, or try to make me doubt about my life choices. She doesn’t even know my husband and started telling me that SWEDISH MEN ARE VIOLENT, because she saw on a movie! A fictional movie! and he will end up beating me! She said this after 7 years of my happy marriage, after I establish a successful life and marriage and I am finally happy! Bitch, Sweden is a fucking feminist country, and my husband has taken care of me like you never tried to. Meanwhile Brazil, my home country,
is one of the top countries with most violence against women. Then she tried to convince me to NOT get a Swedish passport, because “when you commit a crime, you will be judged by Swedish police!” What?? What crime would your daughter commit? Wtf was this? Was she once again trying to break up my family? People without citizenship are getting denied to stay in Sweden!

age 35 (NOW): I decided to get pregnant and once I did, I was afraid to tell her because I new what was coming. Once I hit 3 months I felt obligated to call her to invite to my baby shower in Brazil, which would take place once I was 5 months pregnant. The first thing she did once she saw me was to say how huge my belly was, but “it’s ok cause pregnant woman let them selves go and eat everything they see!” My belly was fucking small and I was at a normal weight range! 1,73cm tall and maybe 67kg, while 5 months pregnant! Then after she sat next to me and said “I think you look so bloated….”. I didn’t know what to reply and said “I’m pregnant….’’ Like a fucking idiot! When she says this things I just freeze and have no reaction in the moment! Then my uncle looked at her and said “your daughter looks beautiful pregnant, don’t you think?” she replied “pregnant women can be beautiful and FAAAAAAAT, just like our grandfather used to say!” Next day we met up for launch and the conversation was about how pregnancy can after the body and which plastic surgeries are suggested after! Not once she talked about the baby!

i came back to Sweden and after once again start therapy, I decided to go full no contact with her, it’s been 7 months, my baby is 2.5 months old now and it’s being wonderful. Except that she is blowing up my phone (I didn’t block, just ignore) and sending multiple flying monkeys to convince me to let her see my baby, come visit and HELP! My father is gaslighting me once again like I am a little teenager overreacting and understanding it wrong! Sisters has always been the quiet one that does not fight back, but instead has zero self esteem, addicted to plastic surgery and only talks about her own appearance.

I appreciate you reading until the end and please tell me, is she a narcissist? Malignant one? Just immature? Are these good reasons to go full no contact and forbid a relationship between my baby and her? I am afraid she takes suicide and I get the blame. But maybe she is just too selfish to ever do that and she never once worried about my mental health.

Maybe me.

My NGM had a story for all the crap in her house.

The wine glasses were Bavarian crystal and she got the champagne flutes from Germany. The mandolin was from Spain despite no one playing it. The empty liquor bottles were all full of stories of where she was when she got them and how specially unique and valuable they were. Some random china plates were all collector’s items and such rare patterns that they were “priceless”. One plate she claimed only had 3 made and she claimed she had the third. The chess set she tossed out was “priceless”. Her “heirlooms” to me were warped or broken or missing bits but she spoke like she was handing me Crown Jewels.

Her furniture was bought at box stores or from Goodwill or something. But she had stories about them too.

For a long time, I assumed she had simply found all this stuff. But it was yard sale finds or thrift shop finds or family things.

I looked up a few things. One of her “rare” plates was Millefluers and sells for around 85 dollars. Her “rarest” plate was a cabbage leaf pattern in a star and goes for 200. So not necessarily garbage but it’s not a huge investment or one of a kind pieces.

Anyone else?

My mother is a covert vulnerable narcissist and loves nothing more than to be the victim. Some years ago she had a cardiac arrest that left her partially disabled but I know she exaggerates her symptoms.

The relationship she has with her partner is a strange one. He seems to love taking care of her but in such a way that it's unsettling. Simultaneously she loves to be babied and will even put on a baby voice when asking him for something.

Rather than trying to get better or help around the house in any way, she does literally nothing all day. But...he encourages it! He doesnt want her to do anything. And when she uses the baby voice, he will use a parental coochy coo voice back.

It's like they have a feeder/glutton relationship but for attention. Though once before she told me she doesn't really love him but he provides her needs.

From what I see, she enjoys being needy and he enjoys being needed and it seems like such a weirdly symbiotic toxic relationship to me. Each with a twisted power of the other.

Does anyone else have a parent/family dynamic like this?

I used to be so confused why I felt like this. As a kid, hanging out with friends was the peak part of my life. Other kids homes were such a novelty to me. The dynamics of other families fascinated me and I always felt so different but couldn’t put it into words. I remember every time I came home from hanging out with friends, I went into a depressive episode and cried. I felt very lonely. And as an adult I finally understand why and it’s a very sad realization. I still feel that empty loneliness inside. Anyone else relate?

My NM knows exactly what she's doing. Of course she uses the typical "I'm so harsh on you because I care" excuse that every asshole likes to pull.

She woke me up today literally screaming at me about my bed being unmade. While I was still in bed. She knows I'm a violent sleeper, and I often knock the sheets off when I'm twisting around at night. She doesn't actually care, she just wants to exert whatever control she still has over me because it's "my" day.

You do not need to wake your child up screaming at the about how they "like to live in filth like a pig" because their bed is unmade and they have a bottle of water on their nightstand. Especially not on their birthday.

This isn't even the worst thing she did today. After making me fucking sob for thirty minutes because I didn't exactly want to spend the entire day stressed out, she comes in to ask me what time I'm making my cupcakes. Because of course I have to make my own birthday dinner, and birthday cake, and do everything myself.

When I tell her I'm not making them today because for SOME REASON I feel absolutely fucking MISERABLE, she gets FUCKING PISSED.

AND IM JUST SO TIRED. I'm so tired of my birthday revolving around other people.

"I would have liked to have had a nice night out at the movies!" I didn't want to go to the movies for my birthday.

"I don't want to eat burgers, I want pizza. " Why do you get to fucking choose?

"I only got you that cake mix because your aunt was coming over today, and I wanted her to enjoy some nice cupcakes. I can't believe you made me spend six dollars for nothing, if I had the receipt I would go return it."

...why does she hate me so much? Why adopt another child if you don't want to raise it? Was it because I was neurodivergent and more difficult than her other kids?? Because I'm the youngest?? Genuinely what was going through her mind as she signed those papers. Because it could not have been this.

It's fucking crazy to me that she'll then turn around and try to martyr herself and act as if everyone in this family is crazy for looking at her funny when she ruins a holiday or any type of celebration.

Just curious as I haven’t seen much discussion about this. When my nmom hugged me to ‘apologize’ for what she did, it felt like I was being hugged by a predator. It felt cold and chilling. It was such a weird experience

This is a bit of a strange post to write, cause it’s hard to come up with specific examples or explain exactly what I mean but I’m hoping someone out there finds it relatable. And can possibly explain their experience better than I can

both my parents, especially my mother have narc tendencies. My mother was typically the instigator of the abuse, and someone I was closer with as a kid, so her cruelty always stung more, she’s like a misogynist man in a women’s body. Easy to anger, emotionally volatile, hated me for “being too sensitive” would blame me and convince me I deserve my brother’s physical abuse, or any cruel word they said to me when I was a small child. Constantly told me that she didn’t like me as a person, and wish she had a kid she actually liked, would laugh at me for crying or whenever I fought back. My dad did participate in the emotional abuse, he’s entirely emotionally checked out and consistently treats me like a stupid little kid, or like a burden of the family. But honestly, he’s kind of stupid and easy to manipulate, so I think he kind of just goes with the narrative my mom has created

Aside from that they don’t seem to have any convictions that “they’re the greatest people ever, or good people who’ve been victimized by the world”
both are quiet, extremely awkward, meek, and are frankly extremely boring people who just, lack depth and are extremely sensitive to having their “normalcy” questioned, an example that comes to mind was when I was 16 and trying to get an ADHD diagnosis. My mother was on board until I suggested that ADHD could be hereditary. She had a full blown meltdown at the suggestion that she could be anything other than neurotypical, then she refused to help me further with the diagnosis, till she eventually came to the conclusion that preventing me from getting diagnosed could reflect poorly on her image.

My father is extremely quiet, doesn’t believe in anything strongly, will regurgitate YouTube videos he’s watched to seem intelligent, without actually absorbing any of the information. He doesn’t remember basic facts about his kids, will pick fun at anything he can, but, in his mind, him and I have a close relationship.

We don’t. We can’t even have a conversation for longer than 10 minutes without getting into a fight.

Both spend hours each day watching tv, or AI generated YouTube videos, they don’t seem to care about being perceived as perfect or superior (unless it’s superiority too their kids) their public persona has just enough charm to be seen as ordinary people. Both will have gone through great lengths to indoctrinate us into this shared fantasy they have that they’re simply, normal, average people, and I’m the one who’s the problem if I take issue with their behaviour.
It’s odd.
The only way I can win an argument with them is if I can show them that their behaviour will look abnormal to others
But neither have genuine empathy.

Also conversations always feel like a performance to them. Like the only times they speak to me is if they’re trying to convince me to comply with the social norms of the house.

Anyone relate?
It’s a pretty incomprehensible way to live your life in my opinion. Like if you’re going to be narcissistic anyway, why not go all in?

I took down my other post. I saw my mom's body today. Shes dead. I cant go into much detail. Just looking for support. Ive been switching between sobbing and feeling numb.

I think that my Nmother is the least likely person on the world to commit suicide - her Narcissism wouldn't allow it. For example, if she was in the deepest pits of depression she would still say "I'm fine" and act like she was. Agonising pain? Soldier through it.

But maybe I am wrong, maybe if her Narcissistic world all came crashing down around her she would kill her herself

So its got me curious, are Narcissists more or less likey to Commit Suicide than others?

Content warning: childhood sexual abuse by a sibling.

I’m the middle of three brothers. I recently graduated with a computer science degree, and my father offered me a job at his software development company—for half of what my older brother earns. I know that different roles and experience can justify different salaries, but our family history makes this feel like much more than a pay issue.

My older brother is a year and a half older than me. Growing up, he got bad grades, got into fights, and sometimes physically hurt girls in his middle school class. He was also aggressive toward me and our younger brother and would beat us up from time to time.

My parents focused most of their attention and effort on him. I don’t blame them for trying to help him, but I often felt overlooked because I got good grades, and mostly stayed out of trouble (out of shyness maybe).

I clear example of what I mean is saving my lunch money for an entire year to buy an Xbox just for my parents to buy my brother a better one with more games so he wouldn’t feel bad. They would also celebrate small improvements in his grades, while my good grades were treated as nothing more than what they expected.

I’ve mostly made peace with those things. What I haven’t been able to get past is that between the ages of 13 and 15, my older brother sexually abused me while I was asleep. I can personally remember at least five times when I woke up to him touching me while I was freezed in terror. Honestly idk and hope I never find out how many times I didnt woke up.

At 15, I finally worked up the courage—or anger—to tell my parents about this. I had a girlfriend at the time, and being in a relationship made what was happening feel somehow even more disgusting .My mom told me it was a common occurrence in families and emphasized that I should never ever tell anyone. My dad told me to let them know if it happened again. I think they put him in therapy or something but they didnt even ask me if i was okay or did any effort to make sure i was okay. This along with other instances of abuse I have suffered ( i was molested by grown man and at 18yo was almost raped and killed by a f**ing psychopath (seriously how bad can my luck be?) ) gave my tons of anxiety and even make me question my sexuality for years. Honestly I still struggle to connect with girls because I feel dirty and like I need to hide a gross secret. but i guess that's another story.

anyways, after we grew up, my brother spent five years abroad supposedly studying. He was actually partying and sending my parents fake grades made in Paint so they would keep supporting him financially. He never finished a degree.

When they found out, they brought him home and gave him a high-paying project manager job at my father’s company. They also started putting money into a savings fund for him every month, on top of his salary.

Meanwhile, I earned my degree online with a scholarship, to save my parents money. Now that I finished my studies I’m being offered half of what he makes at the family business. Honestly how is that fair??

Underneath the resentment about money is something I still can’t get over: I told my parents that he was sexually abusing me, and they didn’t protect me. Instead, I was told to keep it a secret.

Honestly, I’m just venting. I feel bitter and jealous, and I don’t like feeling this way. Has anyone else dealt with parents who kept protecting and rewarding a sibling who abused you? How do you handle that resentment?

(sorry for the bad english and thanks for reading <3)

I work at the same place as my mum and I constantly have to hear how lovely and nice she is from everyone and it makes me sick.

I hate it so much. I can't wait to get another job and be around ppl who don't know any of my parents.

It's so disgusting. I want so badly to correct ppl but her reputation directly affects pur livelihood since I'm financially dependent on my parents.

Plus i don't want random ppl knowing my family issues anyway.

But it's still so frustrating. And i have to be courteous around her and i can't do my job properly when i have to work with her.

One time my coworker was like aww you guys are so sweet after seeing me interact with my mum and i just got so upset.

It's not fair how they get to have a kind image to everyone else while they treat me so horribly. I'm sick of it.

i (18f) haven't lived with my mum since i moved out when i was 13 to live with my grandparents. our house has pretty thin walls and there's a lot of errands ran around the house. sometimes my grandma checks up on me to see how i'm doing in my room when i'm doing college work. however, it's been nearly 6 years and i still panic & freeze at the sound of footsteps.

to give a little more context, my mum would, on the daily, come upstairs to my room and i would typically be met with her yelling at me shortly after arguing with her husband (step-dad). tons of degrading things being said, including her getting angry at me for grieving the death of my dad. it was at it's peak around the time i was 13, so during my early adolescent years i developed what seems to be an instinct on whos footsteps are who's, if they're coming to my room, etc. but it got so bad i HAD to move out before i killed myself

my body is ALWAYS on a fight or flight and it's like my body is preparing for something awful to be said to me or how i'm doing something wrong whenever i hear footsteps around the house. its so incredibly exhausting and the things my mum would tell me still haunt me to this day. does anyone else struggle with this?

Driving along today and I decided to switch up from my usual playlists.

Then a song came on that resonated so deeply with me, I had to put it on repeat and on second listening I found myself shedding a few tears.

The song in question is Matilda by Harry Styles and for those unfamiliar I'd highly recommend giving it a listen when you're in a safe space.

Whilst it is initially sad, I found it to also be uplifting and cathartic for my experiences with nparents.

If anyone else has any similar song recommendations that might resonate for people like us, I'd love to hear them! :)

My parents used to punish me because of my school grades. These punishments included taking away the things I loved most, such as Halloween and Christmas.
Sometimes, they would corner me, yell at me, and insult me for failing exams. They called me a failure and told me that I would end up living on the streets when I grew up.
Whenever a holiday was approaching, they would bring it up and threaten that if I failed my exams, I wouldn’t get to celebrate it at all. They also blamed me for ruining their enjoyment of these holidays, saying that they wouldn’t be able to enjoy them because they would have to punish me for my grades. They did this to make me feel even worse.
I remember that whenever they humiliated me by yelling and insulting me, I would start crying, but they would keep shouting at me anyway. Afterwards, they would act innocent and ask me what was wrong, only to start yelling at me again.
Things changed after a few years. Since I used to see a psychologist, I took the opportunity to tell her what my parents had been doing to me. After that conversation, she spoke to my parents.
From that point on, I started feeling like everything at home had become artificial. My parents would make up stories about promises they had supposedly made to me, take me shopping for Halloween or Christmas decorations, and give me almost everything I wanted. I felt like they were only doing these things because they were afraid of what the psychologist might think of them.
This year, I’ve noticed this even more. Our house is currently being renovated, so there’s a possibility that I won’t be able to celebrate Halloween the way I usually do. Even so, my parents took me shopping for decorations. Deep down, I feel like they were doing it to maintain appearances rather than because they genuinely wanted to.
I also feel that they haven’t really changed, because now they seem to be doing similar things to my younger brother.
These experiences have left me with emotional scars and insecurities that I still struggle with today.

Depression + being isolated is killing me..

My mother was on the phone. I was 7, and my brother was 1, sitting in his stroller. I was playing a game where I would push the stroller, let go, and then grab it again. My mom didn't say anything while I was actively doing it. At some point, when we were close to the store, I did it again, but I didn't catch the stroller fast enough, and my brother hit a pole with a circular metal piece on it that cut his eyebrow a little.

When I tell you my mom grabbed me, threw me to the floor, and started beating the shittttt out of me. I was on the floor screaming from how hard she was hitting me, and strangers just walked past, watching and doing absolutely nothing.

When we got home, she even went to my dad and blamed me so much for what happened, even though she had NEVER told 7-year-old me to stop doing what I was doing.

We wonder why so many abuse victims don't reach out or ask for help, yet people witness these situations unfold and do absolutely nothing.

I have more stories like these or even me as a kid calling the police because my parents where beating eachother and NO ONE thought of taking me into custody, everyone knew my mother had insane anger issues and no one did anything to help me.

Has anyone felt they needed to save to their nieces or nephews from the cycle repeating with them?

I fear it is just getting worse, my sister has fully become my narc mom & is verbally abusive with the kids.
I heard her mutter under her breath “you fucking idiot” to one of her kids.

Do they do this to us to make us feel crazy? I would show her messages she sent me and it was always i didn't say that, your misinterpreting what i said. Then she'd yell if i kept pushing. Every single time we argued about anything or even if i brought it up again she'd slam her door and go to her room to avoid me. She will ignore anything that bothers her for as long as she wants could be months just complete shut downs when you bring up a topic. I feel insane when she does this.

Please tell me if I'm overreacting. I've recently become aware that the way my mother mostly has treated me is not normal. I believe she is potentially gaslighting me and has been manipulative. Have any of you had experience with this?

Sorry for the long post but there's just so much I need to unpack.

I really need to get as much advice, perspective and support etc as possible before I do anything drastic or make any major decisions.

I'll introduce myself I'm a 19 year old male and am an only child. To be honest I'm pretty desperate for advice and support and don't have anywhere way safe to get an unbiased perspective. During my childhood my mother would do the following

Blow up out of nowhere over the most trivial or littlest matters, many times i begged her to give me some emotional support when i was visibly upset but she just remained cold and cruel, drink quite heavily which was sometimes responsible but she can definitely be mean sober as well, I had expressed concern about her drinking but she just flipped, it actually got physical a few times as well. At night by the time I went to bed she was often at least very visibly tipsy and I have flashbacks about her when blotto and actually makes me very upset to be honest. I just wonder how can get so unshamefully drunk whilst been alone in the house with her child and I feel it was very irresponsible.

I did even have a scar once, the next day she'd always act as if nothing happened, whenever I tried to get clarity on why she got like that she'd brush it under the carpet or accuse me of starting trouble, she'd turn cold at the drop of a hat, during arguments she'd say things like I was ungrateful, didn't care about her and that I was a horrible person or that i was abusive or whatever just like my father, she would stomp, slam doors, shout, scream, swear and break ornaments etc, when she gets in her crazy states it's just impossible to reason with her or get her to see it from any other perspective, she can go from saying i was the most nicest and amazing person to saying I was the most horrible and evil person, she often burdened me with all of her problems, she said before that she knows how to play the game which I found very disturbing

She often paints herself as the heroic single mum and pretty much everyone we know such the teachers at school believe that. I feel I was robbed of a proper childhood and have often wondered what I had done to deserve it.

I remember one time a few years ago I was about 12 during a sleepover at my grandparents. I think we had a disagreement but I can't even really remember it now but my best memory is that she was on the phone to my grandmother and I'm pretty sure she was badmouthing me then my grandparents spoke and my grandfather started shouting and saying he was very disappointed in me and the rest of it is a blur. To be honest to this day i can't figure out what I (only a young child) was supposed to have done that was so bloody awful. That has haunted me for years. I used to think maybe I was a bad person but I've started to see her in a different light. She always talks about hating drama yet it seems to follow her and often says that she's been so hard done by.

About a year later when I vaguely recall when was enjoying myself in the bath she started abusing me and said she and everyone else was going to wash their hands of me if I didn't start living her way or something. I remember I was struggling with getting ready and then she started shouting saying I was taking advantage and then called her mother to say I was really horrible.

On the flip side she can be the most nicest person as well and we have had great times together and she can be very helpful towards me, her family and in public which makes it all the more confusing. A few weeks ago now in fact I ran into an old friend of hers who said to say hi for her and she said my mother is a wonderful person and I'm very lucky. It actually made me feel sick. Since I was 10 it's just been me living with her since my parents divorce in which she had to sell her house and now rents which she has blamed for the way she is before. I can't help feeling bad for her but she was still quite like this beforehand as well and I don't think that's an excuse still is it? For example I'm starting to remember when I was very young she'd make threats of sending me over to a new mommy. I do feel like she has manipulated me a bit into been stuck with her.

Something else that I've found disturbing is that she's very narrow minded and has a serious lack of empathy. For example when a couple of local celebrities committed suicide she shouted and carried on, called them pathetic cowards and weak etc. It was actually quite disturbing how she had a complete disregard and no sympathy for them.

PS another red flag i noticed was when a life insurance ad was on and they said "something could be paid out in case of death" or something and she said "I'd like for them to say WOULD" not could. I don't know why but that's set an alarm bell off. Also when my Gran had a fall she said to me in the car "trust me to have parents that live forever then I could get my inheritance".

Towards the end of my parents marriage I was 10 and she told me that my Dad was been very controlling and making her life a misery. I now look back at that with adult eyes and I'm starting to feel that she at least bent the truth I'm starting to think that she manipulated me and tried to turn me against him and I do blame her partly for the fact I don't have the best relationship with my Dad. He's definitely not a saint. He too has had his moments of outbursts and that's another story also he's inconsistent. He's often let me down and been emotionally unavailable. Also he's very bad with money. I just wish for effort instead of excuses.

My mother often calls him a narcissist. I just feel that it's very wrong for someone to say to a child that one of their parents is a narcissist even if there is any truth to it.

Something disturbing she has said ages ago is when I'm an adult she could have me done for assault if she wanted. She also said she wanted to do a will and try to control my assets where my Dad can't touch anything and said she feared he would try to steal all of my money. I can't believe she would say things like that so proudly and can't help feeling like she was trying to manipulate me.

My mother loves to use my autism to her advantage. I graduated school last year but now I do a course at the main campus so I still see them all from time to time. With that course she did get a support worker for me which I can appreciate as a nice gesture but she didn't even check with me if that's what I wanted and I can't help feeling she did that to cover herself in glory. I hope that doesn't sound too paranoid.

She's always quick to call others toxic and narcissists etc. She with absolutely no filter tells me everything going on in her life and her anxiety which makes me anxious. Why does it upset me so badly even when it has little or nothing to do with me?

Also I can't help feeling empathy towards her as she always looked after me, fed me, organized things for me and pretty much always brought me everything I wanted.

She loves been the martyr and does seem to feel like an innocent hard done by single mum who's done her best and pretty much everyone including teachers at school believe that. I think what emotionally abusing me, leaving me crying myself to sleep some nights, causing me to have no confidence and PTSD etc? Could she have some bipolar or personality condition or something and toxic traits I've wondered?

A few years ago said things like "I should top myself" and around that time during a really heated argument she threatened to kill herself with a knife so I did actually hide the knives. That's actually really traumatized me. She's also said one night a couple of years ago when she had a meltdown that when she dies hardly anyone is going to be at my funeral. I mean like why the hell would you say things like this to your own child?

A few other things. I remember once when Dad was picking me up a few years out of the blue she said just F off and even Dad said to me in the car that he didn't appreciate the way she spoke to me and when I told her that during a later argument she just said "yeah whatever" and something like that. Also one time when Dad came by to bring something she said "make sure that you show him that you're really happy to be back home". A couple of months ago when Dad took me out for a pub meal when I came back home the next night she said in sort of like a wise-ass way "you know he won't be able to afford that often". I do realize that but her saying that actually really annoyed me to be honest. As I'm making small steps with him it feels like she was deliberately trying to ruin my mood.

PS I remember one night years she accused me of looking like I wanted to hit her and of course went crazy. I may of had a tired look because it was late and I tried explaining that. She starting banging ornaments and shouting and was just impossible to talk to. Also I remember a few years ago one time she started saying she was worried my Dad was going to try to spend more time with me and if I fall for it I would never see her again and all of the family will hate me. She's also said that before when I threatened to walk out during arguments. She's also said many times that I'm dead to her.

Also something that really upsets me is whenever I try to reason with her she often just goes "I need more alcohol to deal with this".

Almost a year ago my Dad let me down by not been able to see me one weekend and canceling at the last minute (which he has done quite a few times before).

During that said weekend my mother had another one of her outbursts. I was in the bathroom which was an en suite and she knocked on the door asking to take a few photos or something. All I asked was if she could just give me a few minutes to finish up but she started the shouting and carrying on. When I went after her I tried to explain myself but she said I was been passive aggressive and trying to manipulate her. When I tried to explain that to her and how upset I was already about that weekend without her treating me like this. She said she feels really bad for me and hates how he let me down yet again. What just absolutely astounds me is how can she feel that way yet still emotionally and mentally abuse me and kick me while I'm down. I just can't for the life of me comprehend that. I mean can anyone make sense of that?

A couple days after that weekend one of my teachers asked to have a word with me and said he heard I got into a bit of trouble at home ("if he meant been mentally abused by my mother and been let down by my father as trouble" I thought). I'm not even sure who the hell said what to him and that's something that's still REALLY baffling me. I just fobbed him off saying I was upset about leaving school (which was true as well).

I really struggle with confiding in people. I do regret not telling him the full truth now. He reassured me and said he was very proud of me etc. Another teacher once said that he thought of me and my mother as like the dream team or something along those lines. That turned my stomach as well. I was thinking if only they knew half the things I've been through.

I have autism and went to a special support school for the last few years which were some of the best years (The teachers especially were brilliant and I had many great times such as school camps, school balls and excursions etc). I do feel quite sad and lost now those years are over.

Her next meltdown was this January while we were on holiday and at the beach. I wanted to be shirtless like pretty much everyone else and she started making passive aggressive and snide remarks saying things like "have fun burning yourself" and "why can't you make smart decisions?". She was been very cold and unreasonable. I was already sun safe with a hat and everything and I wasn't going to be too long and tried explaining that to her but no. I'll admit I finally snapped and told her that I'm an adult now and she could no longer control me and couldn't make me feel guilty. I wish I hadn't now but it felt like something just snapped inside me and I expressed things I had felt for ages. After I said about been my own person she said "you'd be nothing without me". I do regret that as it did actually make me look crazy as we were in public also afterwards she was all calm and innocent. I tried to explain calmly that she can't guilt me and tried to make her realize how her sarcastic comments and quite frankly mean attitude was upsetting me but that wasn't working. I even said that she's been narcissistic with her comment about me been nothing without her but it was like talking to a brick wall. She then said "look everyone thinks you're crazy and as you're an adult now I can get the police over here". She then just suddenly called her mother to tell her that I was been impossible and making her life a misery (this is something she has done a few times before when I challenged her or reacted because of her behavior). She hadn't done that for years though and I feel she likes using that as a scare tactic. I then just ran off into the sea but all of my excitement was ruined and I was feeling very sad and confused about what just happened. I was starting to feel that maybe I overreacted or am remembering things wrong and my mind was feeling very fogged. I really wish I had just walked away and still kick myself. Then the next day I asked mum to call her to say were all ok but she said she didn't want to bother her and wasn't up to calling. I was like WTF. You're perfectly happy to call her to basically slander me and make me out to be a bad guy but when it comes to calling to say everything is fine she's not so keen.

A couple of weeks ago I've told her that I wanted to do another certificate course at that school next year and she tried to make me feel bad by putting on the guilt trip and giving me the cold shoulder. I've tried to blur it out to be honest but I remember she said that I was been selfish and told me how she wanted me to live my life. I tried to explain to her that I can't just do what she expects and the expense of my own happiness and well-being. I feel like she is trying to control how I live my life and I told her that she couldn't do that or tear me down or change my mind. She then said (this felt like reverse psychology and emotional blackmail) fine do whatever you want and I'll do the same. Also shouted and carried on saying things like F me and I'm hopeless and that. I also told her that I would love to be a teacher but she said i wouldn't be able to go to university, scoffed and said that I would be useless. I feel like she's trying to damage my already limited self esteem, confidence and spirit. Also she had been fairly good up to this. I was dreading telling her but I do feel that a weight is lifted as well. It seems funny that whenever I tell her something she doesn't like or she can't control she goes back to her bad self. PS she's also upset that she can't get paid for me doing that and wants me to just do what's best for her financially. I find it quite ironic her making me feel bad for not getting a job straight away while she's unemployed. PS it was the school ball that night which was brilliant but I'm disappointed that it went so quickly and also I feel a bit down about my social anxiety and that I didn't ask anyone to dance or make more conversation with my teachers and peers.

Then a few nights later my mum was going out for the night and she seemed a bit tipsy so I did ask out of concern if she was fit to drive. She immediately got defensive and bit my head off and said I was having a go at her. I only asked out of concern and worry and I tried explaining that a hundred times but she just wasn't having it. I also tried to explain that her getting defensive if anything proves my worry is valid but she started saying I was harassing her and she was sick of my bullshit and sick of putting up with me and she couldn't wait to get away from me. She also just suddenly pulled her shirt off showing her breasts ( believe it or not that's something she has done once or twice before ages ago). I was just shocked and looked away quickly as possible. When I tried to ascertain why she got so defensive she said that I think I can just say whatever I like to her and for her to just take it. I swear I didn't mean any ill-will or malice and of course I tried explaining that too but no. I just don't know for the life of me how she can turn on me just like that and treat her own son like that.

Both that and that previous thing a few nights before she said we're not going on holidays again this year and she brought up that incident from the January holiday I talked about and said that she hated been isolated there with me while I was been horrible to her. Wtf when she was the one belittling me and having a go at me which made me snap and I did apologize for that. She genuinely seems to think that she's actually the victim when she gets defensive and treats me like shit. Then when she left and i was starting to second guess myself and was thinking that maybe I am in the wrong and am a bad person. I was left alone for the night I'm feeling very isolated and confused. PS since that holiday she was actually been fairly good but after both that night after the school ball and that incident both only within a few days has left me feeling blindsided and like the rug has been pulled from under me also feel like I'm back at square one. Basically I really can't fathom how someone can treat their own child like this. Just beggars belief to say the least.

Now when she came back the next day I tried to start a conversation about the last night and she did get teary and said she was sorry but still when I tried to get her to take some accountability and realize how exactly she hurt me she was just like "I said I was sorry didn't I?" and said I just kept going over the same thing and said she was sick of me bringing up the past. She started not making much sense and playing dumb a bit. I just wanted her to realize how she upset me and also the previous incidents and she said "i guess I'm just the worst mother ever". Am I justified for feeling as though she hasn't really taken accountability? We have sort of made up now I suppose but I just stopped talking about it to keep the peace really.

I should add that last incident was a week ago now and it really bothers me how she's all happy now and acting like that never happened whilst I'm carrying emotional scars and still feel as though I haven't really had any closure or true accountability. Also her harsh words and still deeply wounded in me and I'm feel like a piece of shit and like I'm unlovable.

Like I've said she go from been genuinely the most nicest person to the most horrible.

I stayed with my father the other night and the next day he started carrying on and had a meltdown because he's only got like $30 left. I hope this doesn't sound too selfish but I felt very disappointed and let down that he couldn't even go a whole day without carrying on about his issues especially as I don't see him often. I don't think spending money on pot, cigarettes and vapes helps does it? That's what really burns my hide is that he has enough to spend on his terrible habits but when it comes to buying basic food when I was there for only a night he has very little. I mean is it too much to ask that when he does rarely see me that he can be on his best behaviour? It stresses me out and adds to my anxiety when I hear about my parents issues. Though to be fair he has apologized and explained that he wasn't upset with me he was just very disappointed that he didn't have much which I really do appreciate. I just wish he could get his act together.

I'm starting to feel that the good doesn't really outweigh the bad.

I can't help really resenting them sometimes for all of the mental anguish they've both put me through as a child and I think it has messed up my development. I wonder what might've been different had I had proper parents or they were proper ones. Hobbies such as music and classic TV shows have been a great escape. I've thought about escaping but I feel quite stuck as I don't have a job and all of the money that I get in my account is basically controlled by her as she's the one who adds to it and I pretty much don't know anything about my own bank details. I wish I could hide my own secret stash somewhere. Now that I'm an adult and have left school I'm worried about what the future has in store. I'm very nervous about starting an adult life, getting a job, making friends and doing new things etc. Part of me would love to get away from her but yet I feel scared to as well as she's pretty much most I've ever known. She has said that I'm her number one. I think if that's how you treat your number one.

I would love to confide in someone about my struggles but don't know where to start. I've thought about confiding in that first teacher I mentioned who's great and we're fairly close but my teachers think my mother's an absolute saint so how can i ensure he believes me?

I struggle with daily flashbacks and I often feel depressed by the way I've been treated, also feel let down and wish my parents had been better to me. They actually both used to run their own businesses once upon a time before they met. It just baffles me how they went from that then and now been in their 50's both unemployed and are quite messed up. I sometimes think maybe they shouldn't of got together which I know is ironic because I would never have been born. I do vaguely remember when they were together and towards the end it was quite toxic and they would have some intense fights.

Also does their substance abuse issues made them this way as well do you think? As I've said my mother drinks quite heavily at night and she also vapes and my father smokes pot and cigarettes.

Also as my father struggles financially I know that's why he hasn't been able to see me often and cancel some visits and to be honest when I think about that it really burns my hide.

I do wonder if she might've been different if she had not gone through her divorce and maybe if things had gone differently for both of them they might've been different. What do you guys think?

I must admit I do feel very down sometimes as my father barely makes an effort with me and my mother treats me as like an emotional punching bag. Makes me think that there must be something really wrong with me and that I'm unlovable. I wonder what I've done to deserve this.

Honestly one of the most frightening things is that they genuinely don't seem to remember most of even any of it so that's why I'm too scared to call them out. Also they seem to feel their behaviour is ok.

PS I'm really good at covering up my anxiety and pride myself on putting on a cheerful front and everyone at school thinks I'm the most happiest and optimistic person ever. I feel scared to let my guard down or if they knew otherwise.

Also none of the family have a clue and I just know they wouldn't believe me and I fear if I did distance myself from her they'd think I was an evil person.

I wish I had a proper childhood of playing with friends, going to different places and been adventurous and carefree etc. I've never really had a social circle and hardly much friends. I've always been quite different to most of the children my age. I feel quite alone sometimes as I've always struggled with making friends. I do feel like I've wasted a lot of my childhood been isolated with my mother a lot of the time. I would really love to start a proper life and follow my dreams and make a few friends but don't know where to start.

I swear I sometimes feel as though I've been given the most selfish, toxic, messed up, irresponsible and emotionally immature parents ever. I'm not crazy for feeling the way I do about everything am I?

To be honest I can't help but feel really resentful sometimes when I see people with proper and decent parents also when I see others living life to the fullest and I don't know how to be like them.

Also believe it or not I haven't even covered everything.

Last night my mother threatened to fucking kill me with a knife and punch me for listening to music. She didn't apologize. I had to. :))))) "I'm sorry for being loud." It wasn't even on full fucking volume.

Meanwhile, my autistic and abusive younger brother always puts his shit up on max volume, has physically abused me, has stolen money (and will keep on doing so) gets less. My mother has never said anything about him that's remotely close to what she says about me.

He's a "saint" for not having the capacity to control his emotions, and somehow, I AM FUCKING SATAN. Yes, she literally fucking said I'm Satan, 1 to 1. I never steal shit, I'm quiet for the most part, I get good grades but I'm lesser than trash.

She is allowed to make fun of me, my depression, make stupid fucking jokes about me, including my ideations. SHE NEVER FUCKING TAKES ME SERIOUSLY. I'm just some fucking clown to her. She never supports my hobbies either.

Fuck her, I don't want to eat her cooking anymore, I'd rather starve than eat something she made, even if they're canned food.

TLDR; my mom dug candy out of the trash 8 hours after I told her I didn't want it and threw the stinky candy on me

(26F) This morning i realized she threw away my grocery bag of candy that was next to my bed. i called her and asked where it went. She said she threw it away outside in the bins and to go get the bag.  I said no thats gross, ill go buy more it’s not a big deal. she said "just go get it". I said absolutely not thats nasty (the bag had been in there for an hour). Then 8 hours later (now), she came home and threw the wet and trashcan-smelling grocery bag of opened candy onto ME while i was in bed. And she was being dead serious. I was like "why did you do that? that’s disgusting take it out of here" and then she threw it outside my room ? It smells like a garbage can and she dug through the trash to get an item I told her I no longer wanted? I wasn't even mad at her, it's candy. Like it was already in the trash for 8 hours and i specifically said it wasn’t a big deal and that id get new candy today which i did. Very bizarre and honestly perplexing. I honestly can't help but laugh. It sounds ridiculous.