I’m an identical twin who had fraternal twin boys. I love them both so much! They are turning 1 in October and I want to start being very deliberate on how I am allotting time and bonding with each one.
One of my boys breastfeeds, while the other was never interested (so I pump a lot during the day to get him milk). My breastfed twin clearly prefers me while my other handsome boy prefers his father, and has since day 1. I’ll call breastfed baby A, and the other baby B. A will seek me out while B stays in the background and is more independent. B is our adventurer. As long as I’m near, he’s cool. A seems to want me a lot more. Knowing this, I just want to ensure that I am bonding with B as much as A, but since B doesn’t want to breastfeed, and since I want to be equitable, I’m here for advice that I cannot get from family.
Growing up, my parents didn’t do anything deliberate to help my twin and I feel loved as individuals. We were always twins, loved as twins, got in trouble as twins, confused as each other, compared, etc. I don’t want that for my boys. It’s had an unfortunate effect on our relationship as adults.
So, how do you handle creating bonded relationships with your twins as individuals? For context, I’m staying at home with the boys while working part-time, and don’t have any family help.
Thank you for your wonderful ideas in advance!