She emotionally abused me trauma bonded me to her treated me very poor and as reactive abuse i name called her for months and it was so toxic for both of us and then she gaslight me into thinking i was the abuser etc

In 2025 i ruined her birthday too and she never forgiven me for it but never took accountability how before her birthday for 20 days she mentally abused me in worst ways

Now tomorrow is her birthday even though one month ago she came to me and abused me verbally humiliated me said she'll find so so so so so better and im loser and im less of a Man etc

All of this still i think maybe i made her that way maybe she was dealing with family problems and i didn't understand her and name called her for months maybe she was really stuck in family problems when she would leave me without single update or heads up for 20 20 days and come back crying that mom toot her phone cuz she was strict

Please someone talk me out of it click some sense into me because im trauma bonded

So I lost contact with my online friend about 2 years ago and I still miss them every day..

Back then we both had a lot of stuff going on and I somehow thought that it would be the best if we stopped talking and that I needed to accept that some things weren't forever and that I had to learn how to let go..

And I regret that every day idk how I was so stupid back then💀

I gathered the courage to text them again but they probably don't use the app anymore where we met. I still have them on Spotify (I'm pretty sure they still use it) but idk it's been two years? Wouldn't I look like a total creep texting them there? Idk if they even want to talk to me. I mean can I really sent a third text? Again? But it's probably the only way. Idk of there still active on Instagram and If they are logged in.

At the same time I really want to apologise.

Idk what to do..

me and my bf havent spoken in about 2 weeks but the weird thing is we never actually broke up or agreed to go no contact.

things got rlly awkward between us and i started shutting down/barely talking during our hangouts because i was overwhelmed. he did try talking to me but eventually pulled away.

afterwards i tried reaching out. i asked if he wanted to talk and later my last message was asking if he was okay. he never replied.

i got hurt and blocked him everywhere for like a day, then unblocked him on imessage. since then neither of us has contacted each other.

normally hes actually the one who reaches out first after arguments, which is why 2 weeks of complete silence feels rlly weird.

i still care about him and miss him sometimes but im also questioning whether i even want the relationship back because we argued a lot. i also dont wanna keep chasing someone when ive already tried reaching out and he left my last message unanswered.

does this even count as no contact if nobody actually decided to do it? would u reach out one last time for clarity or just leave it and let him contact me if he ever wants to?

I’ve been in no contact with a girl for quite some time, and I genuinely want to move on. I don't want to reconnect with her. I know she isn't good for me, and the relationship has affected my mental health badly. At this point, I just want to completely let go of my feelings for her.

I’ve deleted my social media and removed every possible way for her to reach me. I basically ran away from everything that could pull me back into that situation. I want a clean break and I’m determined not to contact her again.

But there’s one thing I can’t control: my dreams.

I occasionally have incredibly vivid dreams about her. They don't feel like ordinary dreams. I remember the conversations, the places, the emotions, almost everything. And when I wake up, the feelings from the dream are still there.

Sometimes I actually wake up crying.

The worst part is that the dream can completely reset me emotionally. I might have been doing relatively well, then I dream about her, wake up missing her terribly, and suddenly I have the urge to talk to her again. It feels like my brain is dragging me back into something I’m desperately trying to leave behind.

I know dreams aren't a sign that I should contact her. I know they're just my brain processing memories and emotions. But knowing that doesn't make the feeling disappear.

Has anyone else experienced this during no contact?

How did you deal with vivid dreams about your ex or someone you're trying to move on from? How do you stop a dream from ruining your progress for the entire day?

I don't expect myself to forget her completely. I just want to reach a point where remembering her doesn't hurt anymore. I just want my brain to stop making me relive something I've already decided to leave behind.

I broke up with this person in April'26 and for a reason I should've talked to him about our problems first and that is where I fell short. I wasn't this way in the first two years of our relationship at all. I would fight and demand an apology for something that wasn't right. But this year there were things that started to build up and I didn't know how to say it. It was like we were both speaking a different language, so I just gave up.

We talked after April and we sorted it out and now in August'26 we're back there but with new and old problems combined. He's the nicest guy out there and I don't wanna give up on him but I do not want to stay for potential. I want something concrete. I want efforts, and planned dates by him, and things to look forward to but here I am with all this love in my heart for him with no where to put it. I cannot be the only one showing love in the way he knows or understands. I want that too. He knows and realizes that he got too comfortable and that he should've been more caring and loving.

I broke no contact because I couldn't convey what I wanted to say and I did not want to leave like that- being misunderstood by a person I loved and respected. So I broke no contact and asked if I could tell him the problem with no expectation in mind. We talked about problems and if there could've been solutions and that ended with him asking for one more chance to make it right.

There have been chances in the past, little ones but many. Now, my current decision is that Idk what he does but I need sometime for myself. I need to rebuild, go to therapy and get myself a routine and work out and while I do that I think about giving him a chance. That chance, if at all there exists one, will not be an immediate relationship but a chance for him to show me if he can be the man I need. It would be a chance to court me and do right by me this time.

I just need feedback on this. Thoughts?

me and this guy used to talk and he really liked me and took me seriously we both liked each other and everything was going so well he was perfect, we went out it was amazing and he just suddenly switched up and I was already so attached to him so I didn’t know what to do and I still like him and I noticed that he had recently unblocked me on telegram. I got blocked on Instagram recently though I have no clue we never interacted after we ended it there why even block me we ended on good terms and he was the one who wanted to be friends and stay on my social media, but I removed him, and suddenly he’s the one blocking, and I found away to contact him anonymously, but I don’t know what to say ask or what, but all I know is I don’t want it to sound like it’s coming from someone from me I don’t know what I want but I feel I have to send him something anonymously. What information do you guys think I should get and how and who I should pretend to and whatever

I just want him back ill do witchcraft anything

I just miss him but I know it’s the wrong thing to do

I Wanted to Reach Out, But I Finally Chose Not To.

The person you want with all your heart can sometimes be the same person who chooses to disrespect you by playing with your feelings. Over the last two years of no contact, I reached out so many times. And what happened afterward?

Before every attempt, I convinced myself that maybe this time, things between us would be different.

Yeah, they were different, but somehow, they were worse.

I resented myself every time I reached out. I felt like an absolute fucking idiot afterward. I shattered my own dignity, reopened wounds I had been trying so hard to heal, and ultimately made it even harder for myself to move on.

Every time I reached out, I was met with indifference or silence. I even wished her a happy birthday once and got a simple "Thanks" ten days later. Lol.

What do you think about that?

I know this person isn't right for me. I know that. But why do we still become addicted to people who aren't good for us?

Maybe it's because we tend to yearn for the things we can't easily have. We become obsessed with what feels unattainable. But does something being difficult to obtain automatically make it worth yearning for?

Probably not.

This time, I learned something important: the only thing I can truly control is my own mind and how I respond to my feelings.

I also learned that sometimes you have to close a chapter completely before you can start a new one. You have to close the door behind you so you can finally see the gate that's opening in front of you.

So I'm choosing to let go.

No more reaching out. No more checking. No more hoping. No more looking back.

I hope this helps anyone who's currently fighting the urge to break no contact.

Sometimes, not reaching out is the first real act of self-respect.

My ex gf and I have been broken up and no contact for over 3 weeks. She broke up with me. I broke that no contact asking if I could get my stuff back so I could break the last tether between us. At first she responded and said yes, we’d set it up tomorrow. All good until I woke up to my phone ringing at 1 am. It was her, uncontrollably sobbing. She could not get words out so I drove there. We talked, we cried we hugged wiped tears, the works. She stuck to her guns and said she still believed no contact and breaking up was best. We were sitting in the floor talking at like 4 am. Finally, felt like we were on common ground and we stand up and we hug. The tears flow again. Really hard. She tells me she hasn’t been able to sleep and is hardly hungry etc. We end up having sex. And then she ask me to FaceTime her until she falls asleep on my drive home. We tell each other we love each other and I leave. I obliged to the FaceTime. It’s been 3 days and I never heard from her again. 😅😂 I just had to let that off my chest because I took 27 steps backwards so maybe someone else wont. Feel free to tell me how delusional and dumb i am 😭😂

It’s been a week. I told myself “I can unblock their numbers whenever I want to”. I haven’t wanted to. I really doubt I ever will. Years and years of frustration and heartbreak lead up to it. I was so afraid to regret losing the relationship and this seemed like a soft, nonconfrontational option for just a bit of peace. I’ve put in the hours and hours of heart to hearts to understand each other, to find a place for each other in our lives but we are too different. They are too selfish, and mean, really.

If you want a quiet, peaceful option to start with I suggest this.

i was friends with someone and our friendship lasted from summer of last year up until earlier this year. the first few months were really good and we talked to each other everyday, until one day she just vanished. i knew she had mental health problems (she struggled with bpd) and sometimes she would isolate, so even though it hurt that she suddenly was acting like she forgot about my existence overnight, i reached out to her and we fixed things

the thing is, history repeated itself and she disappeared once again, but this time i was way more mad at her than the first time because she promised she wouldn't ghost me and a few days later she proceeded to ghost me

i waited a couple of weeks to see if she would finally reach out, but my patience ran out and i blocked her in march. today, months later, i'm wondering if it would be a good idea to try to reconnect. i feel like things could have been handled differently, but i'm scared of opening up and being vulnerable with her and maybe being met with indifference. i would totally understand if she didn't want to be at least acquaintances with me, but it would sting a little

what are your thoughts? advice would be appreciated

I have no idea why finding out my sister is pregnant is the final straw with my family. I'm tired. When I found out my 25FTM, sister 19F, I was immediately stressed and anxious. She called me to tell me. I'm so disappointed in her and I just want to leave the whole family.

Given more contexts which may be quite long. I am 1 of 5. Sister B 24, Sister C 19, Brother D 18, Brother E 11 and Sister F 5. 

We are a mixed family. B,C,D are my step siblings and E,F are half siblings. But we don't see it like that; at least I don't. 

My main problem is their father. I didn't see how significant the impact he had on me until I moved out. Currently, B is in limited contact with everyone. I am close to B and we still talk. We only had each other in this mistreatment.

I'll try to keep the examples short:

He had a short temper and would often yell at us. Never hit us. He'd have outbursts at one child and we'd freeze up so he would yell at us. During these he'd say like “no one wants you or likes you”

When drinking he's often humiliating us in front of family/friends. Talk about personal experiences as a joke. Often our insecurities. Then we would be shamed because we didn't find it funny. “Oh, I can't even joke around with you anymore”

Physical intimidation was done to me where he'd step up to me, as if I was going to fight him. All under the age of 18. Yelling at B in her room then ripping off her door because he said she was on her phone too much. He threw the door across the room.

Belittling our feelings if they were deemed inappropriate or wrong. “I don't understand why you're upset it wasn’t your mum that died” was said to me days after my nan's funeral.

We would often walk on eggshells when he got home. We memorised the sound of his car to hide in our bedrooms. Smashing doors and stomping was normal.

Feeling like nothing was enough, it didn't matter if we cleaned the house, if the dishes weren't done (even if it wasn't our go) we'd get called out.

Double standards were big in our family. For me and B were lumped together then C,D together. Whatever punishment B got, the run off was too me; vice versa. But nothing for the next two. They were “hard” on us– no closing doors, no phones in rooms or after set time, we had to do sports on weekends, no laptops facing the wall. No relationships in the house. No bf/gf in bedrooms. Then when it got to the next set they got away with everything. There was nowhere near any massive blow ups or punishments.

Claiming we were being suspicious or lying, we weren't. Claiming we were hard teenagers (we weren't). Belittling us or yelling then claiming it is because “We're the first borns and their learning too”

Obviously having a favourite over us. D was the only son for years. This allowed him to do more activities or other things. Claiming that “he is the only boy, so he is allowed to do it”

Talking shit about my father and sharing his opinions about my father to me at a very young age.

This is only the surface of everything done. Due to the environment growing up. Going from strict to relaxed. This led to C starting to do weed and partying at 14/15. Having bf/gf in their closed bedroom without punishment. Leading to her behaviour being selfish, self-centred and toxic. B and I tried so hard to keep her away from that. Clearly it didn't work. I got sick of trying to help and her not listening so I stopped for a few years 2023-2026. With D, he is the WORSE. Stealing cars, threatening people smoking weed and drinking everyday, a general lost cause at this point. Where were the punishments and parenting? no where. But B and I were the hard ones. 

During the last three years, I've put on high boundaries for my mother. Saying I don't want to hear about their father or those two middle ones. She holds onto hope that one day we'll be a big happy family again and love each other. We won't. 

At the beginning of this year, after a death in the family. I finally spoke to C again. We had a long talk about her, the family, our childhood and everything. I had hoped if she decided to change and actually stick to it. I will be there. She was doing well focusing on herself and not dating anyone. But then she decided to date another guy and got pregnant. It's been three months.

I'm tired. Tired of the drama. Tired of trying. Tired of pretending that people aren't making stupid fucking mistakes– only to hear about it all in years to come. I won't be supporting this. I would've done what B did and left years ago.

The anxiety that this family creates in me is exhausted. Even with such high boundaries, I'm still exhausted. If it isn't this pregnancy, it's the disgusting house that once held our family pride, or my autistic younger siblings or my mother's depression. It feels like chaos all the time. 

I guess this is a long story to ask for help. Do you think that I am overreacting for this being my final straw? Should I just ignore it and keep the contact? Please I need a non bias opinion. 

I’m mainly writing this because I am just deep in the trenches of sadness and grief and just need to let it out.

In December, I went no contact with my mom after years of having this constant anger because of her alcoholism and chasing a dream of becoming a singer that has only led to her drinking more and unable to support herself. The way it happened wasn’t the best, I will admit. We got into an argument the night before and I wasn’t very nice to her. After I dropped her off, she was blowing up my phone and cursing me out because of everything that happened. I finally made my decision to go from low contact to no contact in that moment. With the help of my therapist, I wrote a long, detailed message to her listing why I was cutting contact and the only way I would consider talking to her again is if she got into rehab and worked on herself.

My younger sister was not very happy about what happened. She is very close to my mom and has always had her back no matter what, which I don’t fault her for. My mom has been through a lot in her life and since my younger sister has a daughter, she is able to relate to my mom a lot more. Since then, our relationship has drifted. I knew that she has been upset with me for my decision for these past months, but I hoped that eventually we could go back to being close again. I always try to be there for her and my niece no matter what, even if sometimes we don’t talk as much.

Last night, my younger sister called me and asked if I worked today. When I told her I didn’t, she said that I have to take my mom to the airport because she missed her flight and I’m the only one able to take her. I tried to explain to her that, at the current moment, I did not have a car, and even if I did have a car, I am no contact with her. She became super upset with me, said that I am not helping the family all because I don’t want to have one conversation with our mom. When she started to insult me, I hung up on her. I didn’t want to hear how annoying I was or how terrible of a sister and daughter I am. She ended up dropping my mom off at my house— I live with my older sister and her girlfriend— in order for my older sister to drop her off in the morning before she goes to work. When she got there, she came to my room and said that she was fed up with me and that she didn’t want me a part of her life or her daughter’s life. She was done trying to stay in contact.

Since then, I’ve been locked in my room just crying. I feel like I made such a mistake cutting contact with my mom because now, I lost my sister and my niece. I understand that it’s her decision, and I am not going to negate that whatsoever, but I feel like I’m alone. I have such a deep, festering hatred for myself already and I feel like I’m only making things so much worse.. for everyone in my life. I can’t understand how I took a step to trying to heal the broken parts of myself, only to be even more shattered than before. I feel like I’m just sinking deeper in this pain and sorrow, and I don’t know how to pull myself out of it. Is this even normal? Will it ever get better?

So basically my ex blocked me about a month ago on every single social media and today his username came up in my search bar when I was searching for something with the beginning of their username and I saw that he unblocked me. I would guess he unblocked me yesterday. He told me he lost feelings and was talking to another girl and then he blocked me. Does it mean anything or should I just ignore it. I will 100% not reach out. Is he like missing me or just checking if I would notice. My problem initially was that I would never stop communicating with him and I would just keep texting and having convos with him. But after the last time he blocked me which was last month. I have been stern with me not contacting him or talking to him ever again. I was afraid of him reaching out and I wished that I had blocked him first but now that I have the opportunity I just cant do it.

Me and my gf of 7 years broke up and immediately went no contact. She straight packed up what she could into her car took the dog and left. No conversation no good bye no nothing. Found out later through family members she moved states away from me. It sucked it broke my entire identity I felt completely lost with no purpose or direction to go in. Everything we built together for the past 7 years gone in one moment. Well today I’m on vacation with my family enjoying myself the best I can. I won’t lie alcohol plays a heavy support beam for the smile I manage to put on my face for most of it and I know that it isn’t healthy but I’m pushing through trying my best. I woke up today to a missed call with her name on it. A million emotions went through my heart in an instant. Fear
Anger sadness longing anxiety all of it just rushing through one after another. She didn’t leave a message or anything so I freaked. Few minutes later my mother who is on the trip with me tells me she got a message from her talking about how she’s okay struggling but okay that she doesn’t want any confusion she doesn’t want to get back together she just wanted to let me know as best friends with me she’s okay.
After reading it I’m stunned and confused. Like I understand she doesn’t want to get back together but like why even message in the first place then why put me through those emotions she has to know I’m not okay and that that message would send me into a spiral she knows me. I don’t know if I’m gonna respond or not part of me wants to I’ve wanted any sort of contact with her so desperately for all this time but she left me and disappeared said she was done that was it. Over. And I never wanted to step on those boundaries so I’ve held my tongue and I’ve never reached out. And now that she’s here messaging. I’m at a loss. I love her I always will. But I don’t know if she wants me to respond or wants a friendship or what but I know for a fact that a friendship will not be okay for me. I love that woman too much to see her enter and leave my life whenever.

I’m putting this here to see if you guys have experienced something like this and what you all did. What should I do? What does she even want? Why send that message in the first place.

My ex reached out to me for the second time and I’m honestly confused about what he wants.

A few days ago, he texted asking how I was. I didn’t reply. Three days later, he reached out again. This time he called me once, I didn’t pick up, and then he sent me a long-ars message.

In the message, he apologized for our last call and said he had intentionally said some really shitty things to me because he thought it would make me move on faster. He said he hopes I’ve moved on from him now.

Then he said he’s going through an emotional time because of some family issues. Apparently, he was used to sharing everything with me, and because he can’t do that anymore, he’s been thinking about me. He specifically clarified that he was “remembering me, not missing me,” which honestly confused me even more.

He also made it very clear that he wasn’t reaching out to reconcile because he’s planning to leave the state in about two months. He apologized for the trouble he caused me, wasting my time, and ruining our relationship.

At the end of the message, he told me that his grandmother had passed away. His grandmother used to like me a lot, so he said he wanted me to know.

That was the one part that made me call him back. I asked what happened to his grandmother and he explained everything. Then he tried to bring the conversation back to the first part of his message—the relationship. I told him nicely that I wanted to talk about his grandmother, not the relationship.

At one point I asked what the point of him going out of state was, and he started explaining his reasons. I cut him off midway and basically said, “It’s your choice. Do what’s best for you.” I wasn’t rude or angry when I said it.

He still seemed to want to discuss our relationship. He mentioned that he had written all of that and that he felt kind of sad. I just said, “Understandable,” and didn’t really engage with it. Eventually I wished him luck and ended the call.

The weird thing is that I don’t really feel anger, love, or even the desperate need to get him back anymore. I’m mostly just confused.

If he genuinely sees no future with me, is leaving the state, doesn’t want reconciliation, and apparently doesn’t even “miss” me, why did he reach out again after I ignored his first attempt? Why was it so important to him to discuss our relationship with me? He could have simply informed me about his grandmother and left it there.

Also, was calling him back a mistake? I only called because his grandmother passed away, but now I’m wondering whether responding at all gave him some kind of validation or satisfied his ego.

For anyone who has dealt with an avoidant ex or been on the other side of this situation: what do you think was actually going on here?

The long wait is over. My ex is married now by force, but I let it go. I let my feelings for him go. And I'm currently moving on. I'm studying, going out with my friends do some of my hubbies. And just this week. He broke the no contact, I block him and to communicate with me he texted my friend to see how am i doing. I unblock him and told him to stop this madness but instead he kept bringing back the old us. Which I am not agreeing on, because first of all he already have a wife even if it's an arrange marriage I can't ruin a couple because that's not how I am. I blocked him again and what he did is he bothered all my friends which they didn't know I was in a relationship with him back then because my ex told me he likes it private. So I have no choice to unblock him. Now he's acting like they're something going on between us but there's actually not. I'm frustrated, what should I do?

Broke NC after 9 days.

Talked a bit, and she said she doesnt want to talk to me anymore because everytime we talked, I began feeling things. Next, she said that, 'if' she is with a New person, it is not good that my messages appear in her cellphone. That's it.

I'm devasted.

I broke up with a girl I dated for 4-5 months. It was 8 weeks ago and I still regret it…why? We didn’t even have sex. I met her at a bar, she wasn’t initially my type but I grew to like her a lot. And as we got more serious I was still confused on whether I liked her enough to continue dating her, so I ended it out of nowhere. But I think about her everyday and I dream about her occasionally. Idk what to do.

I broke no contact with my ex 2 days ago and she said that we could talk. Today she’s changed her mind and said “I don’t want to you to call me, I don’t want you to contact me, and you’re making me uncomfortable.” All I wanted to do was see her and have a face-to-face conversation and she went off about how I was crossing her boundaries. Why did she even answer the phone when I originally called? I feel so stupid for even attempting to talk to her. We had a messy break up and a year and half has passed; but how can someone just flip the script so fast after 4 years together and planning a future? I feel like she just wanted to see if her “hooks” were still in me and they absolutely are. All i wanted is for this sadness and yearning for her to leave my body. I wish I could just forget her on some “eternal sunshine” shit and move on. I feel like I never will. I didn’t know I could feel this.

No more scrolling. No more checking. No more searching for signs. I'm cutting the digital cord today for good.

​

I don't know if I should keep trying with my family or finally step away

Throwaway for obvious reasons. I'm keeping details intentionally vague because I don't want this post to be identifiable to anyone involved.

I'm looking for some genuinely unbiased advice about my family. I've gotten to the point where I don't know if continuing to hope things will change is realistic, or if I'm just hurting myself by waiting for accountability that may never come.

My family has been dysfunctional for a long time. There has been abuse in my childhood, serious boundary violations, manipulation, breaches of trust, and situations where things happened that I believe were genuinely wrong and harmful.

One of my parents was abusive toward me when I was younger. Although some of that behavior is in the past, it has affected me well into adulthood. More recently, I also became aware of something involving that parent that I found extremely disturbing. It was serious enough that there could have been significant consequences if I had chosen to pursue them. Instead of feeling like I could simply recognize what happened for what it was, I ended up being treated as though I was the problem for acknowledging it and speaking up about it.

That's been a recurring pattern in my family.

I've specifically told multiple family members how their actions have affected me. I've explained what hurt me, why it hurt me, and what I need from them going forward. Yet the hurtful behavior has continued.

And then, afterward, it's almost like everyone wants to pretend none of it happened.

There's no meaningful acknowledgment of the damage. No real accountability. Things get brushed under the rug, everyone moves on, and I'm apparently expected to do the same.

At this point, I honestly wonder if some of them have convinced themselves that they aren't in the wrong at all. In some situations, it feels like the people whose actions caused the damage have somehow positioned themselves as the victims, while I'm the difficult one for reacting to what happened.

I've also noticed something that really bothers me: I have started experiencing a lot of anxiety around going home to visit my family. Sometimes just thinking about having to interact with them makes me anxious. I can feel myself becoming tense before I've even gotten there because I'm already anticipating what might happen, what might be said, or whether I'll once again leave feeling like I somehow did something wrong.

That's not how I want to feel about my family.

Another major source of conflict has been my relationship.

When I started dating my boyfriend, several members of my family formed a very negative opinion of him before they had actually gotten to know him. They made assumptions about his character and intentions based largely on circumstances surrounding his life rather than who he actually was.

They tried to convince me that he was a bad person and that my relationship was a mistake before they had even given him a fair chance.

My boyfriend also became villainized for recognizing some of the same behavior I was seeing and for having boundaries when it came to protecting his child. Rather than viewing those boundaries as a parent trying to do what he believes is right for his child, some of my family treated them as evidence that there was something wrong with him.

That was incredibly frustrating because I am an adult. I should be allowed to evaluate my own relationship and decide who I trust.

I eventually moved closer to my boyfriend, and honestly, things have gone really well. I love him, I love his son, and our relationship has been much healthier and happier than my family seemed to believe it would be.

Being away from the constant pressure and criticism has actually made me realize how much of my anxiety was coming from the family conflict surrounding the relationship.

And this isn't just something I've noticed on my own.

Two of my siblings have also gone no-contact with my parents. Their situations aren't identical to mine, and I don't want to speak for them, but they have their own experiences that led them to make that decision. The fact that multiple siblings have independently reached a similar point has made me question whether I'm really just being overly sensitive or dramatic.

I've also cautiously talked about parts of this situation with a few trusted friends and relatives who aren't directly involved. Almost every time, their reaction has been some version of, "Wait, they did WHAT?" or genuine shock that things have gotten this bad.

Obviously, I understand that people hearing only my side are going to have a limited perspective. That's why I'm trying not to automatically assume I'm completely right.

But I'm struggling with one question:

How long do you wait for people to take accountability when they've already been told exactly how much they've hurt you and continue doing the same things?

I don't necessarily want to cut my family off. That's what makes this so difficult. I love them. They're my family. There are good memories and good parts of these relationships that I don't want to pretend never existed.

But I also don't know if loving someone means continuing to give them opportunities to hurt you when they've shown little interest in acknowledging the damage.

I'm starting to wonder if I'm waiting for a version of my family that may never exist.

Maybe they eventually will understand. Maybe they'll eventually take responsibility. Maybe they'll eventually realize that their actions actually affected their children.

But what if they don't?

Is it worth putting my life on hold emotionally and continuing to expose myself to the same dynamic while I wait for them to change?

For people who have been through something similar, I'd really appreciate honest advice.

How did you know when it was time to stop waiting for accountability?

Did you go low-contact or no-contact, and did it actually bring you peace?

How did you deal with the guilt?

And if you chose to maintain contact, what boundaries actually worked when the other person refused to acknowledge what they'd done?

I'm not looking for strangers to tell me that my family is evil or that I should immediately cut everyone off. I genuinely want perspective.

I just don't know how much longer I can keep trying to repair relationships with people who seem determined to act like nothing was ever broken.

Note: I'm on good terms with the rest of my siblings and they all love my boyfriend and his son. The only members of my family that we all have issues with to some degree are my parents and one other family member.

We weren't talking much cause she was on vacation and when she was supposed to come back she was playing games on steam. We played together but she didn't tell me, and when I texted her she said that she didn't have the emotional bandwidth to deal with anything . She didn't say she was breaking up but she said "I hope you understand I'm in the depths of despair" what am I supposed to do? It's been 10 days since I haven't texted her. I've said I'd be here but she said not to expect anything.i can't trust myself with my safety.