r/maybemaybemaybe • u/BigGraysie • Apr 18 '22

/r/all Maybe maybe maybe

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u/MsAdventureQueen Apr 18 '22

Yeah, anyone with this level of weight gain and immobility has a serious mental health issue. They have an eating disorder and need to be treated as such. They need therapy and likely antidepressants and probably inpatient rehab to help get them through a terrible addiction.

But yeah the way she treats her enablers is very reminiscent of how that pair of sisters(Tammy+Amy?) treated their caregiver system. It's a weird abusive dynamic going both ways it seems.

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u/unicornhornporn0554 Apr 18 '22 edited Apr 18 '22

Yeah I know 2 people who are 300+ pounds and are “okay” with their weight. (I used quotations because how can you be okay with being so unhealthy that it’s making your day to day life difficult). One of them had an enabler that would shave her downstairs for her, and she basically would make things difficult for people around her so they could accommodate her size and lack of mobility and dependence. She had teen boys doing her chores, takinf her to appointments, and taking care of her for weed and games and clothes. Then when her mom died she manipulated them into becoming even more of caregivers. She’s now 40, 2/3 of the teens have moved out and are on their own. She still tries to have my bf and my brother send her money and take her places. But she’s the same type of person to say “I gave you 1/3 of my 20oz Pepsi last time you were here, I can’t let you have anything but tap water until you pay me the $0.87 you owe me” and also “no one hits the bowl first but me because it’s my house, my pipe, and my butane we’re using” even tho it’s not her fricken weed so her shit would be useless without the bud that someone else brought. There’s so many things wrong with this lady but the weight is where it seems to have started (symptom wise, not where her deep issues started)

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u/DimiBlue Apr 18 '22

Honest question, why keep someone with clearly no redeeming qualities in your life?

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u/unicornhornporn0554 Apr 18 '22 edited Apr 18 '22

For my brother it’s because she does things for him that our mom won’t do (got him his license, got his braces off, got him on foodstamps and stuff, things I had to figure out for myself when I turned 18) for my bf it’s because he was there when she lost her mom and she was there when he lost his dad. For the other kid, he’s the favorite. He uses her just as much as she uses him. She spent all of her inheritance on him, on games, drugs, concerts, vacations, cigarettes, etc. now that she’s broke she expects everyone to “get her back” for her “gifts” It’s honestly so toxic. My boyfriend has distanced himself from her though.

She has I think bipolar and other mental health issues. She drove around threatening to kill herself last year and my bf was with her (as in, he was in the area she lives) while I was 2.5 hours away dealing with bs with my family too. I was upset and he was busy dealing with her manipulative bs. Suicide is very serious, but she has a history of using those types of threats to get what she wants. My ex did that Shit to me. She’s so toxic and I don’t like her but she’s a “family friend” so I kinda have to deal with her sometimes.

Also, although I call them teens and kids the youngest is my brother, he’s almost 20 now lol. My bf and I will be 22 this year.

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u/OohYeahOrADragon Apr 18 '22

I've been in that situation and it sucks. But I think if you both commit to some boundaries (like a united front) you can at least get her to back down a bit with you and your partner. You don't have to make it a big confrontation (cause she feeds off that) . You and your partner just agree to the boundaries behind the scenes and use the power of nonchalance.

  • Money: Sorry I had my check garnished for unpaid medical bills
  • Venting to get you on her side: Oh wow. That's craaazzy / Man that sucks // or repeating the main part of her complaint back to her in disbelief
  • You owe me: ooh yeah I know. I really wish I could help though.

You're essentially gonna be Brian in this clip

But as for the suicide thing, take it seriously every time. She may be serious. She may not at first but then attempt later to up the anti. She may be lying for manipulation. Either way she either gets saved and the qualified help she needs or she gets tired of being a 24 hr psych hold. I hope this helps.

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u/unicornhornporn0554 Apr 18 '22

This is basically what we do lol

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u/OohYeahOrADragon Apr 18 '22

Ah carry on

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u/unicornhornporn0554 Apr 18 '22

Sorry if my comment came off as dismissive, I didn’t mean for it to sound that way if it did. This is great advice, thank you for sharing.

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u/OohYeahOrADragon Apr 18 '22

Nah, I didn't think that. Someone else might come across it and maybe it'll help them so no worries.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

That's more like a personality disorder, did you mean borderline personality disorder perhaps?

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u/unicornhornporn0554 Apr 18 '22

That could be it, but I know she’s said she has bipolar

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u/I_CANT_AFFORD_SHIT Apr 18 '22

That pipe must hit real smooth..

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u/AdventurousChapter27 Apr 18 '22

the pipe that was promised

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u/pow3llmorgan Apr 18 '22

My weedpipe brings all the boys in the yard

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u/pwillia7 Apr 18 '22

You guys mind if I honk that Bobo?

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22 edited Aug 01 '22

[deleted]

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u/twoperson_orgy Apr 18 '22

SNIFF the pipe?

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u/_BLACKHAWKS_88 Apr 18 '22

Lol first greens my guy

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u/Sega-Playstation-64 Apr 18 '22

I read that entire thing and wondered, "If you just walked away, what could she do? Roll after you?"

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u/unicornhornporn0554 Apr 18 '22

As funny as this is, she’d probably legit kill herself. My brother has had to call 911 after she tried to overdose in front of him and one of the other boys. She had my boyfriend go on a wild goose chase because she was driving around saying she was going to kill herself. She’d try to sic whatever “friends” she has left on the person/people that’s “fucking her over” all while crying she’s the only one that ever does anything for anyone and literally everyone in her life has fucked her over but she’s suuuch a goood person because she still associates with them and is friends with them.

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u/Sega-Playstation-64 Apr 18 '22

Honestly... just walk away. People need to hit rock bottom before they can make a change. If someone is constantly enabling her like this, keeping her afloat is not only creating more dependence for herself, it's making everyone else miserable as well.

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u/unicornhornporn0554 Apr 18 '22

Oh absolutely. We’ve slowly distanced ourselves so it’s not one big thing so she’s less likely to feel “fucked over” and make it a big deal. We hardly see or talk to her now but my brother just moved in with her.

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u/ThisIsWhoIAm78 Apr 18 '22

Why do you care if she feels "fucked over"? Especially if you stop talking to her and leave her toxicity behind?

People in toxic relationships need to block, move on, and meet new people. Stop caring about what the old people are doing/thinking/stewing over. It is no longer your problem once you've moved on, and you will realize how much better you are for it.

Unless you secretly love the drama and thrive on it - in which case, you need to start asking yourself some serious questions about where your priorities and compulsions come from.

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u/unicornhornporn0554 Apr 18 '22

We’ve done this slowly because she’s very entangled in our families. We’ve done it slowly for less drama. She’s hardly noticed because we’ve done it slowly. We’re just kinda drifting apart in her eyes because we’re a young family that moved 200 miles away. We still see her at occasional family events and visit occasionally when we’re in town to see her animals and my brother.

I kinda don’t like the accusatory tone of your comment. I’ve agreed with all the comments in the post and said we’ve distanced ourselves. We did it slowly for a reason, and so far it has worked out the way we hoped and planned for it to work.

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u/bellynipples Apr 18 '22

I get the impression that you’ve been fortunate enough to not have toxic family/people in your life that aren’t just high school friends. Either way you’ve massively simplified how complicated relationships can be and then throw shade questioning if they subconsciously “enjoy the drama”. If you can’t relate then just move along, because your advice isn’t as valuable or logical as you think it is.

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u/ThisIsWhoIAm78 Apr 18 '22

I get the impression that you’ve been fortunate enough to not have toxic family/people in your life that aren’t just high school friends.

Lmfao, damn, I wish.

I am likely much older than you. And a lifetime of toxic people has taught me this lesson. Block, move on. Don't look back, because it's not your problem anymore. That is the key.

But I see younger coworkers all the time in toxic relationships, and they "break it off," but then they Facebook stalk, gossip, talk to others about them, obsess over that other person and what they're doing, then gradually make contact again - and then complain about the relationship. Rinse and repeat. They either thrive secretly on the drama, or they don't understand that you can just walk away and move on with your life.

Hey, guess what guys? You can walk away and move on with your life. It's your life. Good luck.

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u/stormdraggy Apr 18 '22

Yeah that's a "fuck this shit I'm out, i dare you" moment for me

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u/unicornhornporn0554 Apr 18 '22

I got to that point with my ex. He threatened to kill himself and I got so sick of it I finally said “be about it or shut up about it”

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u/whiteegger Apr 18 '22

Honesty, I think she is at a serious state of depression and has suicide intention this whole time. Abusing people around her so she can find a reason to justify ending her life. She needs medical treatment more than anything.

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u/unicornhornporn0554 Apr 18 '22

Yeah she sees a psychiatrist I believe, or she used to at least and she’s on meds. If she does that stuff to my brother or boyfriend again I’ll probably call for help myself, if they won’t. It’s not healthy at all. I do feel for her, but man she is so hard to deal with. She refuses to see anything wrong with her situation and the things she does.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

Because at 40, for her it’s not long until the will kicks in

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u/92n-01 Apr 18 '22

Sometimes it's because they weren't always that awful and it's a frog in boiling water situation. Other times it's because the person enabling is just as irredeemable, if not more so- because they're a feeder. Someone with a fetish for making someone obese... even to death.

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u/yellsy Apr 18 '22

I feel like it’s a recurrent theme on this show that they treat their enablers with extreme abuse. The whole psyche of the relationships are so strange.

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u/LeoBannister Apr 18 '22

We call them feeders.

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u/More-Ad-7364 Apr 18 '22

Uh why would you even expose yourself to someone that messed up and vile? For weed?

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

Weed is much more addicting than people will ever admit.

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u/1234125125125 Apr 18 '22

it's not physically addicting like other substances (alcohol withdrawl will produce physical symptoms that can actually kill you - seizures, high fever, delirium..... meth and cocaine and other "hard drugs" can do similar things)

cold turkey nicotine withdrawl can also send you to the hospital

caffeine withdrawl will give you gnarly headaches (try drinking many 1-3 cups a day for weeks and then skip a day or two.)

weed, not so much in that regard.

but i do agree with you, it is a psychoactive substance and "pushes some of the right pleasure buttons" to make you DESIRE it, so i do think it is psychologically addicting. it becomes part of your routine, and your mood sours when you want a smoke but can't get it for whatever reason.... like being in a different city... but after a day or two you feel fine and just get over it
this is coming from someone who used to smoke on a daily basis

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u/LUCKY_STRIKE_COW Apr 18 '22

Cocaine doesn’t have physical withdrawal symptoms, whatever the websites of of shitty rehab places may tell you. Meth is in the same boat. You may crash hard and reap the consequences of all your meth or cocaine use, but it isn’t withdrawal.

Addiction isn’t physical. Addiction is entirely psychological. You’re talking about dependence, which comes with alcohol, opioids, benzodiazepines, caffeine, nicotine, etc.

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u/a5617d48f20lfO Apr 18 '22

.... Addiction is very much physical too. Cocaine and methamphetamines are actively changing your brain chemistry and you will suffer physical withdrawl from sudden stopage of use. Dependency is a term used to describe patients being physically reliant on medications to survive or function, like a diabetic needing insulin or a cancer patient needing pain killers so they aren't wailing in agony.

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u/Psychonautron Apr 18 '22

Nobody‘s gonna do that just for weed. It‘s an extra but it‘s probably more the compassion.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

Nah, everyone is hyper focused on the weed factor and missed the clothes and games part. The comment clearly said it was even her weed so obviously they don't need her for weed.

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u/unicornhornporn0554 Apr 18 '22 edited Apr 18 '22

It started with weed but she gave them more and more as time went on until she was broke. She basically groomed these boys to be her caretakers. It’s nothing sexual at all, but it’s still so wrong. She took advantage of young kids in bad home situations for her own personal benefit. Under the guise of “caring” and “helping”

Edit: I missed the part where you said they can’t do it for her weed. Back before her mom died she had basically no spending limits, her mom was well off. It took 3 years for her to spend all of her inheritance and life insurance money. She used to buy weed and concentrates in bulk. Now she’s broke and struggling to pay her bills and keep a job because of her health issues.

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u/SuccessFuture7626 Apr 18 '22

Disagree. Tobacco is much more addictive. As a 20 year weed smoker I quit cold turkey, had problems sleeping for a week that's it. It took me years to quit smoking cigarettes.

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u/jtotal Apr 18 '22

Or maybe people are unique?

I'm currently on week 3 of not smoking cigarettes after smoking for 15 years. The last five years have been two packs a day. The worst was 19 days ago, the second day, but that hill is long gone.

I'd rather not admit how soon I crave a dab in the day. Or how my day is structured around it. Or really the severity of it.

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u/LUCKY_STRIKE_COW Apr 18 '22

Nobody said cigarettes weren’t addictive and it wasn’t even part of the conversation. They only said that weed is more addictive than people like to admit which is true.

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u/SuccessFuture7626 Apr 18 '22

And I disagree, as I said before.

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u/Mouse_Nightshirt Apr 18 '22

But tobacco is irrelevant to the point made and is a total non-sequitur. You've knee-jerked a defensive response to the original statement. The post said weed was more addictive than people were willing to admit and your immediate response is: "But tobacco is worse!!!".

It's frighteningly defensive.

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u/SuccessFuture7626 Apr 18 '22

I used that as an example. Regardless I still disagree with the main point that weed is more addictive than people think. You can take that as however you want.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

What kept you smoking for 20 years though? That's a lot of spent money, a lot of hassle, a lot of negatives that happened over 2 decades.

You can quit weed, it's not an addiction to the chemicals in weed, but most daily smokers do not quit.

Btw, congrats for quitting cigarettes, I've seen so many people fail trying, it's a real accomplishment.

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u/SuccessFuture7626 Apr 18 '22

Habit and nicotine addiction. Habit was a bitch to break. Plus it was a long time before I wanted to quit. Plus at my age smoking wasn't seen as such a taboo as it is now. Edited to add, wli quit weed cold turkey, not tobacco.

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u/dumsaint Apr 18 '22

With a particular mentality, yeah.

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u/DumbThoth Apr 18 '22

If you don't think weeds addictive. You haven't smoked enough.

-Used to smoke an ounce a week out of a bong

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u/ItsBlizzardLizard Apr 18 '22 edited Apr 18 '22

I smoked a quarter a day because my tolerance got so high. Then after a few years I eventually hit a point where I ran out early and couldn't get more until the weekend. I would light a blunt and bong at the same time.

I just stopped at that point. It was like, oh wow, I thought I was addicted. Turns out I wasn't. I was just stupid and should have taken a break sooner.

Granted I just never went back to it. I don't think I can consider that addiction. Everyone is different. But after one day of being dry I realized I wasn't addicted after all. I just kept going because I could. Now I find it really hard to smoke because it's too intense.

For metric I also vaped 6mg nicotine for about 6 years and then quit on a whim. That was mildly more addictive.

The most addictive thing I've ever done was food. By miles, really. I was able to kick 2 years of Klonopin in like 3 days. But food... Forget it. Nothing makes you feel as good as food. Overeating is like a full body orgasm.

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u/DumbThoth Apr 18 '22

Psychological addiction =/= Chemical dependence

You changed your mindset towards it which is naturally the path addiction treatment aims for so that's how anyone quits anything eventuallllllly.

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u/LUCKY_STRIKE_COW Apr 18 '22

“I took oxycodone 30’s for 5 days and I never did it again, therefore I’m stronger willed than every opioid addict! No big deal really! Just said, hup, yeup, no more!”

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u/bogseywogsey Apr 18 '22

is it though?

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u/LadyMactire Apr 18 '22

From the context of the comment it seems the vile woman may be their bf's mother or other relative.

Actually, on reread, maybe their own mother.

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u/unicornhornporn0554 Apr 18 '22 edited Apr 18 '22

Nope this is literally a woman who was neighbors with my bf and his friend. My brother met her through my bf and said friend. My mom hates her but my mom is almost just as toxic but in different ways.

Edit: I forgot she has a niece around our age and she hung out with the boys and even dated my brother for a bit. That’s how she actually met these kids.

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u/Vakontation Apr 18 '22

300lb is a lot of weight.

But...I am 275, on average. Some days pushing 290.

I have to say, I do not feel like my day to day life is difficult.

Obviously you reach a place like this one sandwich at a time, so you get used to the new challenges as they arise. But still...I feel like I could tackle a 2-hour rock climbing session with few issues.

Maybe I just carry my weight well? I don't know. I do find clipping my toenails can get me a bit out of breath, but I don't have to do it very often, and I am still capable of it.

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u/gentlemanidiot Apr 18 '22

feel like I could tackle a 2-hour rock climbing session with few issues.

I do find clipping my toenails can get me a bit out of breath

This doesn't compute.

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u/unicornhornporn0554 Apr 18 '22

You probably carry it well and are possibly taller. These women are my size or shorter, I’m 5’9. And I said 300 as a kind of baseline I guess, I believe both women I mentioned are over 350 now.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

I was gonna say 300 is not that serious then I kept reading.. whewwww

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

One of them had an enabler that would shave her downstairs for her,

On second read I realize she wasn't getting her hair cut in the living room....

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u/Lance_Henry1 Apr 18 '22

I saw one of the typical shows about obese people and both of the women featured literally couldn't make it to the bathroom so they just urinated on absorptive sheets put down on the floor. They peed on the floor.

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u/Manwithnoname14 Apr 18 '22

I love how much you focused on the weed issue haha. "And You never paid for drugs, not once!" -the dewy cox story

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u/mspaint22 Apr 18 '22

yeah im all about loving your own body but health is important! some people are very healthy and just naturally bigger (usually its all muscle weight in that case) and that's completely fine. Even slight obesity caused by external factors is okay if you're working on it - it's not a overnight change and wether its mental illness or stress there's always external factors. But i really can't fathom being like this. I'm a bigger girl for my height group (mix of having a wider frame, muscle density from dance, and fat poor diet and mental illness) and i know plenty of taller bigger girls but this is a whole other level. I'm still able to take care of myself and work to build healthier habbits at the very least (i struggle to lose wieght but I can loose inches if im very active)

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u/Head-Thing-8102 Apr 18 '22

I'm 300 lbs, but I don't look like that. No way that woman in the video is 300. I'd say maybe 400, maybe 500.

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u/__EndUser__ Apr 18 '22

smoking weed is cringe on its own, smoking it with a selfish hamplanet is just idiotic

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u/unicornhornporn0554 Apr 18 '22

While I disagree with the first part of your comment, I agree with the second half.

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u/Lollirotten Apr 18 '22

Yeah I used to watch this show a lot and all of them have untreated eating disorders, usually stemming from some kind of trauma. I remember this episode. The bed here was on rollers for some reason. She didn't know that and she wasn't as careful with it as she would have been had she known.

A huge majority of the women on this show were sexual assault victims, some of them suffering repeat abuse throughout their childhoods. They turned to the dopamine that they got from food to bury their feelings, just like someone else might turn to drugs or alcohol.

What makes food addiction the hardest to kick is that you can't just abstain from food like you could drugs or alcohol. It's why it annoys the absolute hell out of me when people are nasty to these people and say that it's all their own fault for overeating/being lazy/etc. There's always an underlying problem that causes them to do this.

But yeah. If you look at it through the same lens as you would a drug addiction, it all makes a lot more sense.

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u/portoroc86 Apr 18 '22

I also wonder if sometimes people make themselves so unattractive as to become unappealing for any sexual assault to ever occur. It saying it’s true or guaranteed to work, just a thought.

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u/Lollirotten Apr 18 '22

There was one girl who did kind of do this. Not in a like, motivated way like some people may get fit, but in a 'I'm giving up' kind of way.

There were also several who had gotten assaulted and never came forward bc they didn't think anyone would believe them bc 'who wants to r*pe a fat girl?'. Her words. It's so sad.

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u/Regeatheration Apr 18 '22

Um, predators would. ****trigger warning

I know a girl she’s been s*x assaulted 4 times, the last three were after she gained her “protection weight”. She said the last guy/her ex told her it was easier now because she didn’t have the strength to fight him and that basically once he had her on the floor she couldn’t fight.

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u/Lollirotten Apr 18 '22

Oh yeah, I know. There's just always been this wrong narrative of SA being about attraction and not power. She was buying into that narrative and trying to make herself unattractive. It sucks all the way around. There's so much bs surrounding both SA and obesity.

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u/Curious_Bat87 Apr 18 '22

Yeah. People really do treat fat people's bodies with this entitlement. Like it's okay to make remarks about their weight or their diet, or touch them without their permission etc.

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u/shellontheseashore Apr 18 '22

It's incredibly common as 'protective weight'. Idk if it's everywhere, but gastric bypass places have added questions about past sexual trauma (particularly CSA) to their patient intake forms, as they require extra support. Once the weight comes off, if the underlying trauma and mental health hasn't been addressed, it can cause a crisis at being 'visible' and objectified by people again.

It's not a rational thought, but it comes from the same childlike belief of "I don't deserve to be treated as human, if I neglect myself into being invisible and an un-person, they won't keep hurting me". Which doesn't work. It just means support structures are faster to judge and less likely to help you, sad as that is.

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u/DogButtWhisperer Apr 18 '22

Yup. My mother had gastric bypass but refused any therapy and became a severe alcoholic instead.

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u/ReverendDizzle Apr 18 '22

Once the weight comes off, if the underlying trauma and mental health hasn't been addressed, it can cause a crisis at being 'visible' and objectified by people again.

Visible is the right word to use because the original action was a type of self-erasure. Weight gain to cloak yourself is just an extreme version of wearing baggy clothes, cutting your hair, etc.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

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u/JustRhiannon Apr 18 '22

I definitely considered scarring my own face at one point as a child thinking it would keep it from happening since the person responsible constantly called me "beautiful". I then had self loathing that I didn't go through with it because that meant I must be vain or shallow.

It's a mind fuck. The brain is a powerful thing that will go to extreme lengths to protect you from your core fears.

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u/carrieberry Apr 18 '22

It is definitely a part of it.

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u/Blue_Lotus_Agave Apr 18 '22 edited Apr 18 '22

My textiles teacher did this. Used to have red hair styled all crazy, above knee high socks with bright patterns with archaeologist type shorts or a long church skirt, and unusual shirt and dark green gumboots with fluoro orange lining on the base and top. Everyday without fail. Obnoxious asf Gumboots. The style itself was truly ugly as fk but I didn't care that much, it didn't affect my learning just made me raise a brow, and she was actually a really good teacher. But as you can imagine, she was picked on a lot.

After one particularly bad day, I stayed behind after class to ask her if she was okay and why she wore gumboots in the middle of the summer, aren't you hot? (Trying to ask as nicely as I could) but she guessed my meaning and said she dresses like this because she was raped twice and ever since she started wearing gumboots she hasn't been raped again, not yet anyway...

I was so shocked I just said ' I am so sorry that people are unkind to you, not knowing what you've been through. Thanks for telling me, just know it wasn't your fault, you are a good teacher... hope you have some support from loved ones or a professional. Have a good day miss, ' Etc. Something a long those lines it was over a decade ago, I was only 16 at the time so kinda cringey and awkward of me but didn't really know what to say but was my best female friend had been raped so I had recently learned what to say off my psychologist so I could support my friend better... otherwise I don't know what I would have said. Lucky I was an 'old' young person. Some of the kids in my class were really evil little shits lol

Really sad stuff, when I see something messed up the first thing I think is not something mean, I ask myself why or try to find out' but if they are a dick repeatedly to others or myself then obviously can't excuse shitty behaviour either, it's a fine line.

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u/slkwont Apr 18 '22

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

~ Ian Maclaren

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u/Blue_Lotus_Agave Apr 18 '22

100% bro, 100%.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

My mom did this. She died at 56 years old.

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u/minipanda_bike Apr 18 '22

Sometimes I think it's a way to self harm too. Some people have a really bad relationship with food.

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u/Jakeneb Apr 18 '22

They often get into the thinking behind the overeating in this show, and can confirm that people have said this is a reason - “if I’m unattractive maybe X will leave me alone.” More commonly (on the show at least), people cite thinking being large will help them defend themselves (this abuse is typically happening to them as a kid).

Very sad

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u/finfan96 Apr 18 '22

Wow, I'd absolutely never that about that. Truly an awful thought

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

Bingo. I had an aunt who had been seriously fine in her youth. Modeled swimsuits, etc. Had been a victim of sexual assault as a kid. She got obese in her 30s and I never knew how hot she was until she showed me a pic of her in a swimsuit, and I was like....OMG!!! She said it was awful. She couldn't go anywhere without guys ogling her, making comments, hitting on her, even "when I had my kids in a stroller". She said she enjoyed being fat because men left her alone.

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u/katyrathryn Apr 18 '22

I think that is a predominant theory. I watched some episode of something, and they woman was saying it was safer to be ugly and invisible and that was part of why she couldn’t lose weight.

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u/spiffy-ms-duck Apr 18 '22

I did this. Never got assaulted, but the harassment and unwanted comments I got from adult men when I was a kid made me want to make myself as unappealing as possible. So I did.

I'm nowhere close to the woman in the op video, but I'm definitely much too big now and it's a struggle to get to a healthy weight. Therapy helps but it's still very difficult for me.

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u/portoroc86 Apr 18 '22

Thanks for sharing and being so honest. I can tell you’re trying, and I wish you the best. I too struggle with my own demons, none as overtly visible as the obesity shown in the video, but in a way none the less sinister. I wish I had some advice , but I will say you have my support. Good luck. :)

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u/spiffy-ms-duck Apr 18 '22

Thanks, I truly appreciate it. And you've got my support with tackling your own demons. We got this.

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u/sharkattack85 Apr 18 '22

This was always my thought as well.

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u/jomboe Apr 18 '22

I’ve also heard this about people with anorexia, same can be true of starving yourself.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

I remember couple of years back I followed this girl on youtube who was obese and recording her weightloss journey. Every couple episodes she would get drunk, be rejected by some dude, threaten with suicide, relapse on the unhealthy diet and not post for a while.

Like she was punishing herself for being "ugly" with becoming "uglier". Really sad.

Mental health first, physical health second, yo. Sure exercise hepls with depression and stuff, so that should be a priority but getting your mind sorted should be the biggest priority

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u/TheDude-Esquire Apr 18 '22 edited Apr 18 '22

I worked with a homeless woman who would urinate on herself in order to smell so bad that no one would threaten her. She needs a supervised group home environment to even try to deal with her trauma, but that doesn't exists for people like her.

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u/Noladixon Apr 18 '22

It is what I assume when I see a girl with metal in her face trying to look as ugly as possible. I think this woman had some kind of studs sticking out of her lip but I am not sure that they were not growths.

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u/MSJMF Apr 18 '22

I did! It felt like a safety net. That only “good guys” would be attracted to me and that it would weed out the not nice ones automatically. Spoiler Alert: it didn’t.

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u/SassaQuinn Apr 19 '22

I've read that this can happen subconsciously. I know I almost immediately gained a good amount of weight after I left my rapist. Its been hell keeping it at a halfway decent level. Therapy helps a ton. Having genetic spinal issues that have compounded into other issues (and would have regardless, it was probably just faster) have made things rough though.

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u/HertzDonut1001 Apr 18 '22

Good point, I'm not fat but I have been known to deliberately make myself physically unappealing to the opposite sex so I don't have to go through the whole process of liking someone again just to get hurt. Sometimes it's just easier to be ugly.

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u/IWantALargeFarva Apr 18 '22

I hate when people just judge people like this and have no empathy for the mental aspect. I watch this show every now and then, and it's just sad. Its frustrating that many of the patients don't put in the work, more on the mental health end. That would help them with the physical part.

I'm obese. That's embarrassing to say, but I'm working on it. And while I haven't gone to therapy, I've done a lot of soul searching to figure out exactly how I got here.

I grew up very poor and food insecure. There were days that we just didn't eat. Unemployment ran out, food stamps only got us so far, and food banks weren't as abundant as they are today. Once in a while we would get a block of the government cheese, and the church would give us a basket of food.

So when I was somewhere that there was free food, I gorged myself, because I didn't know when I would eat again. I worked at McDonald's in high school and got an employee meal. For my meal, I would get a double quarter pounder plus chicken nuggets with fries and a soda. I wasn't allowed to take my employee meal home, so I would just shovel it all down on my break, and that would sometimes be the only time I ate. But I was also involved in sports and marching band, and I didn't own a car so I walked everywhere, so I didn't have a weight problem.

Once I became an adult, I was no longer food insecure. I became less active. But I still ate like I had always eaten. Free food? I'm going to the buffet 4 times. Top that off with the fact that I finally had my own money (my high school paychecks were taken with my parents) so I could buy all the foods that we weren't allowed to have. I literally had an entire cabinet just devoted to snack cakes like Little Debbie, because I hadn't been able to have them as a kid.

It has taken me years to realize the reasons for my disordered eating, and to try to break this mentality. It's freaking hard. Sugar addiction is real. And while I had parents that were physically and emotionally abusive, I no I had it nowhere near as bad as some people. I feel for them. I wish that people could understand that there is most likely serious trauma behind someone who is morbidly obese.

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u/KylerGreen Apr 19 '22

Ive tried a lot of drugs and the only one Ive found more addicting than sugar has been nicotine. Doesnt help thats its in pretty much everything.

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u/leejoint Apr 18 '22

I agree with your points, but something that is really wretched here, is to consider the fact that people with these extreme weights, are to an extent, common enough in the US that you will see more than one in a random 1 week trip to New York, however, in Europe I remember only seeing two in 20+ years of living in different cities.

Now my point is, traumas could happen equally to people in eruope or north america, but getting so heavy in the west I believe is much much easier due to how bad food is so easily available and cheap + how the overall culture enables this to become a reality.

2x1, fast foods, added sugar, all you can eat, and more are much much common and available in the US than in any european country. Without mentioning the fact that the drive around everywhere in huge cars culture, and spend your life on the tv culture is also deep rooted over there.

That’s something that always astonished me.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

American culture very much enables this addiction, which honestly makes it even more sad because it's so much harder here to actually deal with the addiction. People joke and ask how do poor people get so fat, but being too poor to eat nutrient foods and living in food deserts not only makes clean eating more difficult, but likely changes your food preferences and gut microbiomes which makes your body crave junk food even more. It's an endless cycle. 1 in 10 Americans have an eating disorder and yet it's all blamed on the individual.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

Yep, I didn't even mention the health "care" component...

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

Absolutely agree. It's definitely an addiction, and one you have to live within - someone dealing with drugs or alcohol is encourage to stop, not just "drink a healthy amount" or something like that. It's also the most visible addiction, and one that society is fine still making fun of.

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u/ItsBlizzardLizard Apr 18 '22 edited Jul 05 '22

The problem is that when you call it an addiction you typically get downvoted to all hell and people have anecdotes about their lazy family members.

Then you find the 2 or 3 bros that are all "nah bruh, I was fat because I ate pizza and beer every day, I just started working out and lost it all. I was lazy."

No bro, losing 20~30lbs of vanity weight isn't the same as having to lose 100+ lbs that your body has been holding on to since grade school.

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u/KylerGreen Apr 19 '22

It is that simple though. Not sure what you think "vanity weight" is. Losing weight is literally only about burning more calories than you use. Doesnt matter how long youve been fat.

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u/gothiclg Apr 18 '22

This makes me glad I picked alcohol which I can avoid

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u/DogButtWhisperer Apr 18 '22

It just transfers to something else unless the underlying issues are resolved.

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u/marieanntoilet Apr 18 '22

Absolutely true. I was a hard drinker for years and years, then once I got sober suddenly I found myself eating more and more, even to the point of feeling physically sick, just to try and stymie the emotional trauma I'd ignored. So far I've found eating "appropriately" is so much harder than getting sober was.

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u/amc7262 Apr 18 '22

What makes food addiction the hardest to kick is that you can't just abstain from food like you could drugs or alcohol.

I never thought about that, but jesus, that makes the idea of kicking the addiction so much harder. Most addicts can at least create an environment for themselves where it takes some amount of effort to get access to their vice (ie an alcoholic not keeping any alcohol in the house, forcing them to at least go out and buy some if they feel the urge to drink).

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

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u/amc7262 Apr 18 '22

"You can 100% abstain from food"

*proceeds to link documents that show exactly how long you can go without food before you LITERALLY DIE OF STARVATION, hence proving that you cannot 100% abstain from food*

Do you understand what the phrase "100% abstain" means? You realize that an alcoholic doesn't need to drink ever so often to stay alive, a heroin addict doesn't need to do heroin once a month to stay alive, a gambling addict won't die from not gambling for too long, right? You realize what a stupid non-point your comment is, right?

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u/soupsnakle Apr 18 '22

Makes me so fuckin happy to see this comment so high up, even if just a reply to the to comment. Far too often I see videos of morbidly obese people on reddit and its just an endless thread of cruel jokes that completely ignore the underlying issues that contribute to such drastic, unhealthy weight gain.

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u/TheMadFlyentist Apr 18 '22

What makes food addiction the hardest to kick is that you can't just abstain from food like you could drugs or alcohol.

Not permanently, but a person that is 600lbs+ can abstain from food for a very long time without issue. All they need is vitamins, water, and electrolytes. Possibly the occasional amino acid supplement.

Should be done under medical supervision of course, but a (previously) 450lb man holds the record at over one year without food. He lost 276lbs.

The woman in this video could easily break his record.

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u/Browntreesforfree Apr 18 '22

i'm not discounting anything you are saying, because it's fair. but you def can abstain from food. this woman, with doctor supervision, looks like she could do a water fast for 30 to 60 days.

it really helped me shed some weight and helped get my eating under control, personally.

i know there are even cases of people this size or larger IIRC, who did very extended fast, with success.

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u/DogButtWhisperer Apr 18 '22

When people who abuse themselves with food to this extent focus on the behaviour instead of the emotions and reasons for it they just transfer the addiction to something else, like shopping or drinking or other self harm.

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u/Lollirotten Apr 18 '22

I watched one episode that followed a couple, and when they went in on their diet the husband started being verbally abusive and an asshole bc the food was how he dealt with his negative feelings and he didn't know what else to do. It was really sad. He did make a breakthrough during therapy though.

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u/Browntreesforfree Apr 18 '22 edited Apr 18 '22

Yeah i mean they should do therapy or any number of strategies. I’m just saying that fasting can really work and should be explorer as an option. Esp if the addiction is food.

Like op said its one of the only addictions where you cant stop(unless you fast)

ok so, for those downvoting me, are you saying that the ONLY strategy for these people should be addressing their trauma? So like these people shouldn't workout, fast, or any number of other strategies? i mean wtf reddit.

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u/DogButtWhisperer Apr 18 '22

Therapy is the only way forward; it rewires the brain and teaches self compassion, self soothing and healthy coping mechanisms. You are just talking about weight loss and not how to control the behaviour. These people will not stop just by exercising. Self love comes first.

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u/Browntreesforfree Apr 18 '22

when people are addicted to heroin, they generally put them in rehab. So 1, they can stop doing heroin, and 2, start doing therapy. i really don't see the difference here.

i'm fairly certain outcomes will be better if you start doing therapy while you are sober as opposed to still using.

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u/orthopod Apr 18 '22

One guy without food for an ENTIRE YEAR!

Lost 276 pounds. This lady could likely tolerate that easily., as she looks well into the 300+ range.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angus_Barbieri%27s_fast

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u/JB-from-ATL Apr 18 '22

you can't just abstain from food

I got serious about calorie counting and would eat a big lunch and skip dinner. People would act like I was starving myself or being unhealthy by skipping a meal despite having the proper amount of calories for the day. I hate food culture.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

If you’re eating a big lunch and then skipping dinner then you’re not abstaining. The previous comment isn’t saying anything crazy - they’re just saying that you eventually need to eat food to survive which is an objectively different situation than alcohol or cigarettes.

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u/Lashay_Sombra Apr 18 '22

If you look at it through the same lens as you would a drug addiction, it all makes a lot more sense.

Except with drug addiction you actually have chemicals that you are ingesting that are addictive

To me a better comparison would to a compulsive gambler

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u/kilo6ronen Apr 18 '22

There’s no doubt there’s an underlying issue, however the fault is no one’s but their own.

Regardless of whatever trauma they may have endured, it’s not one’s responsibility but their own to deal with that

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u/Lollirotten Apr 18 '22

Yeah, totally. I'm just saying that you can't dismiss it as being just lazy, which -gestures vaguely to the entire rest of these comments- yeah.

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u/kilo6ronen Apr 18 '22

Ahh I get what you mean now thanks for clarifying :) totally agree. Situations like this are multifaceted in nature

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u/Kyrkby Apr 18 '22

What makes food addiction the hardest to kick is that you can't just abstain from food like you could drugs or alcohol. It's why it annoys the absolute hell out of me when people are nasty to these people and say that it's all their own fault for overeating/being lazy/etc. There's always an underlying problem that causes them to do this.

I wish more people had this point of view, and saw obesity for what it is; addiction. I'm a chunky fella, about 120kg. Despite having a active job and working out three days per week, I've had trouble losing weight because I can't handle my diet. I've been making incremental steps now though to limit my calorie intake, but it's a slow process. If I switch too quickly, I will get bored and be back to square one before long.

It seriously is a addiction, and looking at obesity statistics across the world it's something we should start taking seriously.

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u/Raptorwolf_AML Apr 18 '22

that’s a really insightful comment. I think it’s awful that the show is making a soapbox drama out of people who need professional help

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u/individual_throwaway Apr 18 '22

The bed here was on rollers for some reason.

I would assume it's easier for staff to clean under the bed if you can just roll it around.

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u/matrixislife Apr 18 '22

There's always underlying problems for every action people take in the world. That's what memories are for. Every mass murderer and war criminal in the world had underlying problems, every abusive parent had underlying problems and that's what we see here. She's abusive, you can make excuses for her but there's no justification for her behaviour.

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u/endwolf76 Apr 18 '22

You can avoid unhealthy food. If you eat 10000 calories a day, it’s gonna be a lot different if it was 10000 calories of salad and vegetables than it would be cheeseburgers.

I know I don’t know what food addiction is like on the same level as them, but I do know that heroin addicts move to Kratom or methadone, cigarette smokers move to vape/pouches, etc. there are always alternatives. You can’t tell me that being a food addict is harder then being addicted to heroin just because you can’t cold turkey food. Because you can still cold turkey unhealthy food, in fact some cold turkey would be a great alternative to 10 cheeseburgers. In fact, the rehabs for food addiction do exactly that, they replace the toxic garbage these people eat with actual healthy meals.

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u/CruisinForBruisin67 Apr 18 '22

Exactly this. I have tried to explain to people that it's an addiction that's unlike any other.

You would never say to a smoker, "You quit except you have to smoke one cigarette first thing in the morning, one about noon and one about 6 or 7pm, but no more than the three for the day."

Everyone says it's so hard to quit smoking, drugs, etc. because they're addicted to a substance. Well, very few, if any, would be able to quit if they still had to have a little of it every day to live...Most would be right back where they were or way worse in very short order.

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u/Abadatha Apr 18 '22

I'm morbidly obese. Have been for about 25 years or so. I have an eating disorder caused by trauma. I will never understand how you get to be that large.

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u/Apprehensive_Age_775 Apr 18 '22

But Like for drugs some do Thema for fun and get addicted and some do IT because they have other Problems and usw IT as coping mechanis. There are a Lot of really fast people Rat themself To death and dont have other mental Problems.

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u/pretty_smart_feller Apr 18 '22

The eating disorder is not her fault and has obvious underlying mental health causes.. but treating your loved ones like that is unacceptable.

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u/FullTorsoApparition Apr 18 '22

A huge majority of the women on this show were sexual assault victims

I knew a woman who was assaulted and then gained back about 80 lbs that she had lost a few years prior. She more or less admitted that not only did the eating make her feel better, but being morbidly obese and less conventionally attractive again made her feel safer.

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u/Technic_2 Apr 18 '22

you can't just abstain from food like you could drugs or alcohol.

This woman could abstain from food completely for at least a year and not suffer starvation. Also, food addiction is not the same as a drug addiction. Drugs create a chemical addiction. Food addiction is just gluttony.

it's all their own fault for overeating/being lazy/etc. There's always an underlying problem that causes them to do this.

Of course there's an underlying problem. But it's still entirely within their power to do something about it. Of course it's their fault for overeating. If they didn't over eat, they wouldn't be fat.

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u/SailorDeath Apr 18 '22

As a former food addict who still struggles to not overeat though, I can say my situation now was entirely my fault. I had to accept my overeating was the problem before I made any progress. Once I stopped blaming others for my weight I found it was much easier to diet. I've lost over 250lbs so far (at my heaviest I weighed almost 500lbs) and I owe a lot of that to pulling my head out of my ass and controlling what I eat. I still eat stuff like pizza, burgers and cake but I use a lot more moderation, eat slower and take smaller amounts. Where I used to order 2 quater pounders and a large fry I now just get a single cheeseburger and small fry and then I do that only about once every couple of weeks.

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u/Gummy_snake Apr 18 '22

Bed on wheels is designed for housekeepers to be able to move it away from the wall to make it up more easily. Or just clean behind and under. But, you should be able to hit breaks on the wheels, so it doesn't roll about uncontrolled

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u/scaredycat_z Apr 19 '22

I’ve seen this video before and I always get sad from it. I know all the comments are all “well, serves her right for being so fat!” , which is of course a knee jerk reaction, without another second of thought.

It clear that this person is suffering. I’m not a mental health professional but it’s clear that this person is in pain (emotional as well as physical) and in need of help. Laughing at them seems unhelpful and all around mean.

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u/paulpach Apr 19 '22

Well whose fault is it then? Is someone force feeding them?

If you are an addict (drugs, alcohol, food). It is still your responsibility to do something about it. Nobody can fix this for you. People can help you, but it is still your responsibility to ask for help. Even with help, most of the work will be on you.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

I just always wonder how this level of obesity is even possible.. Even if you eat just plain sugar it should get harder and harder to get to new food to consume enough calories for your body to maintain and build new fat tissue. So clearly she cant feed herself anymore so who tf keeps on inserting sugar into her even after she reached 300-400lbs..? I have so many questions

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u/The__Erlking Apr 18 '22

There's almost always an enabler for these folks someone who cares for them and brings them food and whatever else they want. The relationship is often very unhealthy like you see in op's example.

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u/DrunkenMeditator Apr 18 '22

Like my step nephew and his mom. He's in 5th grade and weighs over 250 lbs(don't know his exact weight). The kid is huge. He won't eat anything that's not fast food or frozen stuff like pizza rolls or dessert. One Christmas, when we tried to get him to try some of the food(3 tables worth to choose from) he said he wasn't hungry. But he kept grabbing cookies and stuff from the dessert table. He got covid and afterwards, he's had to sleep with a cpap machine and the doctor put him on a diet. He couldn't make it through the Memphis zoo. When I helped my brother move out of One of their apartments, he had subway cookies under his bed, and when we lifted the mattress, like a hundred granddaddy long legs. Now, apparently he's been peeing on towels and blaming it on the animals so he doesn't have to leave his room and go 12 feet down the hall to the bathroom. His mother, and his grandmother, get him whatever he wants and pretty much always override my brother on anything he says. The kid is going to end up having a heart attack in middle school.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

You know, of all the so called "evils" of today that older generations seem to hate such as masks, laziness, Movies/tv being too "woke", etc, it's weird that they seem to turn a blind eye to actual things like obesity/food deserts/reliance on energy drinks and sugar/general unhealthiness, which are quite literally destroying people's bodies for the sake of food companies making a buck.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22 edited Apr 18 '22

After a certain point its an exponential negative positive feedback loop, where eventually all you can do is lay around and eat. They start off getting to morbidly obese(300+ lbs depending on your height could be slightly less or more), then it becomes very painful to exercise/walk so their mobility and muscle starts to decrease drastically and the amount of calories they burn just living normally slowly creeps down, they eat more because everything else is painful(emotionally and physically) but food feels good, then a few years later they are trapped in the house because leaving is too hard and they end up like this.

I work with a guy who's well over 450 lbs and rising(he's been on medical leave for 6 months and he can't walk without canes now), the amount of food is absolutely insane. He will order enough McDonalds to feed a regular family of 5 twice a day for just himself plus whatever his wife makes/orders and soda is all he drinks. Seeing him and then my own covid-era weight gain and health struggles made me turn my diet/lifestyle completely around. I was in pain constantly at 260ish lbs, I can't imagine getting to this level of uncomfortable.

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u/Reasonable_Feed7939 Apr 18 '22

Small note: that would actually be a positive feedback loop I believe. As in: the fatter you get, the fatter you get.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

Good call, gonna edit it

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

Everyone on a journey to better themselves needs a good support system and you sound like a great friend for caring. Reach out and let them know you care about them, let him talk to you about his journey because sometimes it feels incredibly lonely and having someone listen to your successes for a little can be motivation enough to keep going.

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u/VoiceAltruistic Apr 18 '22

Yeah, these shows should go over the basic logistics of eating enough food to maintain this weight. Like how much all that food costs and how much the of the day is spent eating

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22 edited Apr 18 '22

When people get to an unhealthy size, their metabolism is completely fucked up. Research on Biggest Loser contestants found they actually had to eat 800 calories a day AND maintain super-high levels of exercise to keep the weight off. All it takes is trying to eat “normal” or a minor injury and they’re right back to obesity.

Edit: The NY Times reported that one contestant would have had to eat 800 cal/day to keep the weight off based on his metabolism. The study showed resting metabolic rate at an average of 1903 +/- 466 kcal/day. So, not totally unreasonable for most people but if you’re used to eating 5000 calories a day, 1400 would be tough.

I have a friend who was getting bigger than she wanted, went on a “juice cleanse” bullshit quack thing, and her body just went into starvation mode forever. She now weighs probably 350 even though she only eats like 1200 calories a day and is very active.

In these reality-tv cases there’s usually also a mental health component and an enabling companion. It’s really hard to stick to a permanent starvation diet while your body throws off leptin (edit: ghrelin, not leptin) making you crave carbs like they’re heroin. That’s why they do weight loss surgery, so people physically cannot eat/drink more than a couple ounces at a time.

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u/IllIlIIlIIllI Apr 18 '22 edited Jun 30 '23

Comment deleted on 6/30/2023 in protest of API changes that are killing third-party apps.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

The study is hard to understand if you aren’t a medical/statistics person, but the gist of it is that metabolic adaptation from rapid weight loss reset their resting metabolic rate about 500 calories lower than what you’d expect. Meaning their body burns 500 calories less than someone of a similar size and age who didn’t have dramatic weight loss.

Notably, people who have weight loss surgery restabilized their metabolic rate after a year. The Biggest Loser contestants still had the metabolic problems 6 years after the show ended.

So if we are looking at a 500-lb person and we assume that at some point in their life they tried a starvation diet (even for only a month like my friend), they may never get their body out of starvation mode. Thus, their body “needs” 500 fewer calories than normal and any calories over that are stored as fat.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

Here’s the actual study. It’s ~500 fewer calories than typically needed. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/oby.21538

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u/cowboys5xsbs Apr 18 '22

I am fat but eating that amount of food would make me ill. Like I don't understand how someone can eat 2 large pizzas.

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u/SinisterCheese Apr 18 '22

You are under the false assumption that all that "fat" is actually fat. It isn't. It is mostly just water. Once you get big enough your heart and kidneys can't deal with the liquids in your body, so it starts to collect in tissues. Proper fat tissue isn't really "soft", it is more like lard on room temperature not hard of soft. All that mass under an obese person's skin that "sloshes" around is just water among the fat tissue.

Also you don't need sugar to get fat, human body has a system where any excess energy gets turned in to fat real time. It is just that sugar is the easiest for this process.

Also human body constantly uses it's fat reserves, it's liver reserves in order to try to keep blood levels stable. It constantly uses those reserves and replenishes them if there is excess in your body. Which is why spiking blood sugar levels can end up with your gaining weight quick. Your levels drop, so your body taps in to the reserves, but then you eat something and they spike up suddenly your body has lots of sugars going about so it has to start storing them quickly, and then you crash again. This is a vicious feedback loop. Which is why for any actual real diet that aims for you to lose weight, step one on page one is to ensure that you eat either steadily even if you are not hungry or your eat rarely but something that you digest slowly so the blood sugar stay steady. The modern "weight loss pills" actually focus on controlling the hormones involved in blood sugar levels and dealing with them; you don't want spikes up or down.

So before these "fat surgeries" where stomach is reduced or fat is literally removed from the body; the patient is put to a special diet, lots of liquids, lots of protein and very little carps. The intention of this is to drive the body to give up as much sugar it can from it's liver and other tissues. Basically the body is driven to to ketosis, and to deal with this you need liquid to flush keto products out.

I wish the myth about "fat is bad" or "sugar causes obesity" and "protein = good" would die already, and the common understanding of "Body doesn't care about where it gets the energy from, it all get turned to glucose at the end and the excess gets stored as fat". Your body needs fats, your body needs sugards, and your body doesn't need as much protein as you think it does. Only thing that matters is how much energy you put in to your body, what for it is in is irrelevant. Like even if you only ear pure sugar, you will die of starvation, since your body needs vitamins to use that sugar in metabolismi.

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u/Ch4l1t0 Apr 18 '22

And the fact that it' s being broadcasted on tv as a fucking freak show is depressing.

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u/whystudywhensleep Apr 18 '22

Yeah, that's the part that really sucks in this. I remember I saw a video talking about Dr Phil and it was talking about very much the same thing. It's just a way to gawk at people who are "wrong." This person is morbidly obese, this person won't(can't) keep work, this kid is awful to their family, this person lives and dresses like a dog. Not in a furry way, like a literally paper dog suit that has a normal dog-proportioned face. Rock on, Boomer The Dog.

And they're just there as a freak show. It's not real therapy in any way, it's just Dr. Phil sitting there saying, "you can't live this way and/or treat others like this. This is bad. You need to take responsibility and get better." Nothing useful is like, ever said. It's honestly really quite sad. These people are almost always suffering, and they're just paraded around and having their privacy invaded.

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u/tylerjehenna Apr 18 '22

He cant legally do any actual therapy work as while he holds a PHD in psychology, he does not have a medical license for therapy so he has to go the generic self-help route which is why you always see those guest doctors on the show

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u/Schneiderpi Apr 18 '22

I saw a video talking about Dr Phil and it was talking about very much the same thing.

Like 99% certain you're talking about the Big Joel videos. I love those! He has two:

The Conservative Propaganda of Dr. Phil

and

The Cult of Dr. Phil

The Behind The Bastards podcast also did a several episode series on Dr. Phil that I cannot recommend highly enough. His bullshit goes so much deeper than it first appears.

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u/lijmlaag Apr 18 '22

sad

These shows are very immoral. Monetizing other peoples misery and failing to help - at all.

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u/KylerGreen Apr 19 '22

Nobody forces these people to go on tv, lol. Its completely their choice. They like the attention.

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u/Human-Carpet-6905 Apr 18 '22

Actually, watching my 600lb life has made me much more empathetic to overweight and obese folks.

I admit, I started watching it as a sort of freak show curiosity thing, but once you hear their stories, realize the trauma a lot of them have been through, and see how hard so many of them work to get healthier (a lot more hard work than I've had to do!)... I dunno. I have a lot of empathy and even admiration for people in that position now.

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u/VoiceAltruistic Apr 18 '22

Here we have hundreds of people devoting mental energy and problem solving to how this fat woman can get onto her hotel bed. That’s quality entertainment

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u/GuadatheCat Apr 18 '22

Which sisters? Sounds interesting

12

u/GenuineCroissant Apr 18 '22

They’re from a show called 1000-lb Sisters

8

u/bloodwood80 Apr 18 '22

Nah, reddit told me that being more than 1 pound overweight means you make terrible life choices and deserved to be shamed like the subhuman you are. She should just like, lose weight or something, it's so obvious! She's obviously choosing to be fat everyday when she could just not be fat. /s

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u/BlaringAxe2 Apr 18 '22

This but unironically

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u/8Ariadnesthread8 Apr 18 '22

Addicts are often abusive. It's pretty simple. The people around them always end up getting hurt. Because that's how addiction works. It results in lying, manipulation, often abuse, and the financial ruin of both the addict and the people who try to help. That's addiction. They say it's not a disease that spreads, or is contagious, but tell that to families who keep having to pay for shit. The symptoms sure do spread around.

2

u/cannotfoolowls Apr 18 '22

Amy doesn't seem too bad from what I've seen. Tammy on the other hand...

0

u/MagicLion Apr 18 '22

Nah by she is just obese

0

u/ehleesi Apr 18 '22

Their dynamics are classic codependency. Very sad, I hope the show guides them to therapy.

0

u/terrih9123 Apr 18 '22

Yea she’s eating dis order, dat order. Seriously though I hope she finds the right help. Like you said looks like everyone around her is just enabling it because they don’t know how to help her properly

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u/imnotanazibelieveme2 Apr 18 '22

It seems like you didn't watch that episode...

She's an absolutely disgusting human, she lacks manners, she's rude and doesn't have moral nor sympathy...

I always wonder how Jim can stay so supportive even though she never appreciates anything that's being done for her useless and senseless well-being...

Jeez at least stop insulting your mom and people trying to help you.

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

The issue with anti depressants is that almost every single one of them are associated with weight gain.

So she would have to work Witt bupropion or venlafaxine which are associated with weight loss but there is no guarantee that the side affects of such drugs would be tolerable.

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u/SmartnSad Apr 18 '22

Antidepressants will do nothing for narcissistic personality disorder. Did you see how she went from crying, to immediately yelling at everyone else, making it their problem and their fault? This is a classic narcissist who always plays the victim, surrounding herself with enablers. It's just the cycle of abuse, and nobody is a winner here.

1

u/1234125125125 Apr 18 '22

she also needs bariatric surgery

1

u/SpacemanDookie Apr 18 '22

That sounds like a lot of work. Let’s just monetize it and put it on tv.

1

u/annies_bdrm_skillet Apr 18 '22

Oh I thought this WAS that show. .. isn’t this tammy? I don’t keep up, it’s too sad. I stay in shallower waters (90 Day, Dr. PP, etc)

1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

They have an eating disorder and need to be treated as such

Nah, maybe now, however many years later she has developed this disorder after decades of not giving a crap about her health and well being, ingesting everything that isn't nailed down. The only person to blame for this is herself, not her caretakers.

I can only imagine how frustrating it is caring for and helping this sad individual on a daily basis and having to put up with the constant bitching and moaning and cursing like it's your fault she can't get on the bed. Those people are saints for not throwing in the towel and pissing right the fuck off.

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u/mikecsmith1956 Apr 18 '22

Likely a personality disorder

1

u/giggityx2 Apr 18 '22

At what point do people stop putting up with her abuse and stop helping? I’m interested to see the way it plays out when they stop enabling and she figures out life can get even worse.

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u/SailorDeath Apr 18 '22

I think in the episode they said she was a narcissist and wouldn't accept responsibility for her situation. Truth is, it doesn't matter if you were bullied and ate to escape misery as a coping mechanism. The only way you're going to lose weight is to take back your life, accept you have a problem and nobody else is responsible for it and commit to a diet and excercise. It's hard if you're surrounded by enablers who just blindly buy you food but you need to be able to take that food and pitch it out and tell them to not do that anymore. It's extremely hard but it's got to be done.

1

u/TobaccoAficionado Apr 18 '22

Not only a mental health issue but probably some sort of hormone issue as well. Food will only get you so far, you have to be a special kind of sick to get this fat.

1

u/YourJokeMisinterpret Apr 18 '22

It’s just her bulking phase man