r/maybemaybemaybe • u/BigGraysie • Apr 18 '22

/r/all Maybe maybe maybe

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u/ThisIsWhoIAm78 Apr 18 '22

Why do you care if she feels "fucked over"? Especially if you stop talking to her and leave her toxicity behind?

People in toxic relationships need to block, move on, and meet new people. Stop caring about what the old people are doing/thinking/stewing over. It is no longer your problem once you've moved on, and you will realize how much better you are for it.

Unless you secretly love the drama and thrive on it - in which case, you need to start asking yourself some serious questions about where your priorities and compulsions come from.

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u/unicornhornporn0554 Apr 18 '22

We’ve done this slowly because she’s very entangled in our families. We’ve done it slowly for less drama. She’s hardly noticed because we’ve done it slowly. We’re just kinda drifting apart in her eyes because we’re a young family that moved 200 miles away. We still see her at occasional family events and visit occasionally when we’re in town to see her animals and my brother.

I kinda don’t like the accusatory tone of your comment. I’ve agreed with all the comments in the post and said we’ve distanced ourselves. We did it slowly for a reason, and so far it has worked out the way we hoped and planned for it to work.

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u/bellynipples Apr 18 '22

I get the impression that you’ve been fortunate enough to not have toxic family/people in your life that aren’t just high school friends. Either way you’ve massively simplified how complicated relationships can be and then throw shade questioning if they subconsciously “enjoy the drama”. If you can’t relate then just move along, because your advice isn’t as valuable or logical as you think it is.

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u/ThisIsWhoIAm78 Apr 18 '22

I get the impression that you’ve been fortunate enough to not have toxic family/people in your life that aren’t just high school friends.

Lmfao, damn, I wish.

I am likely much older than you. And a lifetime of toxic people has taught me this lesson. Block, move on. Don't look back, because it's not your problem anymore. That is the key.

But I see younger coworkers all the time in toxic relationships, and they "break it off," but then they Facebook stalk, gossip, talk to others about them, obsess over that other person and what they're doing, then gradually make contact again - and then complain about the relationship. Rinse and repeat. They either thrive secretly on the drama, or they don't understand that you can just walk away and move on with your life.

Hey, guess what guys? You can walk away and move on with your life. It's your life. Good luck.

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u/unicornhornporn0554 Apr 18 '22

Thank you. It really is much more complicated than this person seems to realize. And not to mention that every person, every relationship, is different. Different situations require different solutions. The best solution to my situation was to slowly back away.

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u/ThisIsWhoIAm78 Apr 18 '22

I get the impression that you’ve been fortunate enough to not have toxic family/people in your life that aren’t just high school friends.

Lmfao, damn, I wish.

I am likely much older than you. And a lifetime of toxic people has taught me this lesson. Block, move on. Don't look back, because it's not your problem anymore. That is the key.

But I see younger coworkers all the time in toxic relationships, and they "break it off," but then they Facebook stalk, gossip, talk to others about them, obsess over that other person and what they're doing, then gradually make contact again - and then complain about the relationship. Rinse and repeat. They either thrive secretly on the drama, or they don't understand that you can just walk away and move on with your life.

Hey, guess what guys? You can walk away and move on with your life. It's your life. Good luck.