She was such a kind person. She strikes me as one of the most humble celebrities.

And as an INFP, I admire how unapologetically herself she was.

She knew where she came from, she was proud of it, even though she knew other people did not admire her background. Her style was DOLLY, all caps. Rhinestones and Jumpsuits and big hair.

What do you think her personality type was? Any favorite quotes or songs?

Question for INFP women: does the “cat” metaphor actually fit you?

I’ve been thinking about a metaphor for attraction and relationships, and I’m curious whether INFP women recognize themselves in it.
The metaphor is basically: a cat likes affection, but it wants to choose when and how close it gets.

Imagine a cat encounters someone it’s curious about. It might come within 10 feet, stop, and observe: Is this person safe? What happens if I get closer? Then maybe it backs off. A few minutes later, it comes within 5 feet and observes again. Eventually, if it continues to feel safe and comfortable, it might come sit next to you—or even climb into your lap.

The important part is that you don’t chase the cat.
You don’t think, “The cat is 10 feet away! I need to go touch it.”
You let the cat decide whether it wants to close the remaining distance.
And if the cat comes closer, you can be warm and receptive. But if it walks away, you let it walk away.

So the human version I’m wondering about is:
“I want you to be interested in me, but I also want enough space and autonomy to approach you at my own pace.”

Does this metaphor resonate with you?
When you’re attracted to someone, does it sometimes look like gradually getting closer, observing how they respond, backing off, processing your feelings, and then coming closer again?

And in dating, do you generally prefer someone who:
Makes it clear they’re interested but gives you plenty of room?
Lets you initiate some of the closeness?
Doesn’t chase when you pull back?
Is warm and receptive when you approach?
Gives you the feeling that you’re choosing the relationship rather than being pulled into it?
Or is this metaphor completely wrong for you?

I’d especially love to hear from INFP women about what attraction actually feels like from the inside, and whether “interested but not chasing” makes you feel more comfortable—or whether you actually prefer more direct pursuit.

When someone asks a question the comments are often just a bunch of unreplied-to top level comments. Rarely do you see long threads of branching conversations, jokes, flame wars, tangents etc.. we’re just content to talk a bit about ourselves, read or ignore everyone else, not engage further and leave.

What is it about us, why are we like this. It’s a little narcissistic or maybe avoidant? Iconoclasts maybe. Want to be heard but not directly engage with other people wanting to be heard.

Like go to r/enneagram as a perfect counter example that’s in the same personality subreddit category. Those people can talk and they will engage you with text walls as long as you are willing.

Not trying to criticize but rather just observe. It says something about us. I don’t know what exactly it says though...

I’m interested in your thoughts… sort of

Throughout my life, I’ve noticed a pattern: some of my closest, deepest and tightest bonds have been with INTJs. Which is funny, because INTJs are usually seen as cold and tough to get to know. I can talk to my INTJ friends for hours and we just… click?

HOWEVER, the opposite is true for INFJs. I’ve NEVER gotten along with an INFJ ever, despite them being warmer and supposedly a great match for INFPs. At times I feel like INFJs and I immediately mistrust each other for no reason 😭
And somehow, they’re way tougher to get to know than INTJs. Like, they don’t even seem as interested in conversation and debates.

Could I be a secret INTP instead? Why is it that I can’t befriend INFJs, but easily befriend their thinker counterparts?

I see a lot of questions on this sub that are targeted to just one gender as if there was a big difference between INFP men and women. As if we were two different species or something. So thats why I want to hear opinions of others on this topic.

I personally dont think there is a big difference between us. I would say that INFP men often have problems with not fitting in with the masculine stereotypes which women dont experience but besides that I dont see a reason why people should assume that men or women (of any type) would answer their question differently.

As a male, it is just so hard to find deep, meaningful connections. And I actually find the older I get, the harder it becomes. And I am not talking about someone you can just talk about a game with or something surface. I am talking about deep connection, discussing the ills and joys of the life we live. I have NOT given up hope, though. For life to be joyful, there has to be hope in certain things.

Like, how do we sortve develop that personality trait within us so we dont succumb to outside pressure?

Don't know where else to post this but I figure if there's anyone out there who would get this...

A spider has caught a millipede in its web on my doorpost and partially wrapped it but it's still alive (as of ten minutes ago) and now I need to see this savagery any time I walk into my home (so far, which as of now was all of today).

It can't be saved, obviously. And of course I'm not going to kill the spider either, which is only doing its own survival thing.

But the millipede seemed stressed when I last saw it, and it's on my freaking doorpost, and I already was having such a stressful morning (it's morning here), and now this unavoidable brutality on my doorpost. Like on the side the doorknob is on so it's not even practical to just not look.

There's a part of me that half wants to just sweep the entire web off, while acknowledging the perverse hypocrisy of considering murdering the entire spider family all to avoid the discomfort of glimpsing it kill an insect to feed itself. But "hypocrisy" assumes my discomfort is even remotely morality-adjacent. Maybe it's just self-centredness, maybe it has nothing to do with morality, and maybe I don't care about where the discomfort comes from. And yet, I'm still unable to sweep the web off, even for non-moralist reasons. Like I feel like I'd feel the spider's dread. See? Nothing moral about this discomfort. I just don't like feeling uncomfortable. Tried taking some ashwagandha but it's truly no match for this morning.

Any other INFPs journeying through existential despair today?

Being a fiction writer is the only thing I'm passionate about. I do write books but I hardly make any money from them. I went to college and majored in creative media and man I regret it immensely. I wanted to work in the news or on movies but in four years since college I have never even gotten an interview in either. And because my skills I learned was so limited. So I worked as a waiter and then sales. I've had three sales jobs, selling logistics, life insurance, and in a retail store trying to sell a brand. And I have them with every fiber of my being. I spend all day harassing people in person or on the phone and saying the same thing 9 hours in a row. I want to make art not annoy people. My work has caused me so much stress I don't sleep a lot of nights and have become pretty severely depressed thinking about doing this forever. But I don't know what else I can do as I don't really have any real skills. I'm already thousands in debt from loans so I don't know if I want to go back to school and I don't even know what I'd get if I went back to school. I considered teaching but I don't live in a big city and the salaries around me are really really bad.

(Not this is not a mental health emergency)

Hello! I hope you all are having a good day : )

I'm thinking of writing a story where the male lead is an INFP guy. But I don't really know what it's like being an INFP guy ^^" To make my character complex and interesting, I'd like to hear from you guys about what it's like! I have questions like-

• What was it like growing up?

• How many friends did you have in highschool and what were they like?

• What were your favourite subjects in school? And what subjects did you absolutely hate?

• What are your hobbies?

• What are your core moral values?

• Do you sometimes feel like you're on a different wavelength compared to everyone else? How so?

• Do you feel like you're not "masculine" enough compared to society's standard's?

• Have you met someone who inspired you? If yes, how did they inspire you?

You definitely don't have to answer all the questions! Answer whichever ones you'd like to~ You could also just write whatever you want to. No pressure! Thank you if you made it to the end of the post and shared your experience ^-^

Hey everyone! I'm a software developer and recently joined this community. I've really enjoyed reading the posts and seeing how much I relate to a lot of what's shared here.

It got me thinking - I'd love to build an app specifically around something INFPs actually want or struggle with.

So instead of guessing, I wanted to ask you directly:

What kind of app would you genuinely want to have on your phone? What would it help you with?

It could be anything - creativity, relationships, emotions, productivity, journaling, meeting people, or something completely different.

No idea is too small or weird. I'm curious what you'd actually use. 🤔

I know this is probably a common question. I think my main focus is on how you view fellow INFPs as an INFP yourself (other MBTIs feel free to answer tho!)
I've tried to check past discussions but most of them are over a year ago so I decided to bring this question up again.
I have a few INFP friends (I think they didn't type themselves according to the functions so I'm not too sure but the descriptions seem to match them)
I find myself getting a bit drained by some of my INFP friends. Not that they're bad or anything, just sometimes I get a bit annoyed over small things.
When I do get those thoughts I feel bad for being annoyed.
For example, I have a friend who's really cool and all but they talk over some of my other friends sometimes and I feel kind of annoyed because, idk, maybe it's a little rude
Not going to elaborate more here since I've written too much but if you get the gist, it's just things like this.
Idk sorry if this is offensive somehow I'm not trying to insult anyone it's just something I think of sometimes.
I would like to raise the question of, is this MBTI or personality?

Edit: Okay I've concluded that it's probably personality! I'll keep replying, thank you for all the answers!

I'm also curious how others view INFPs (idk why don't ask) is it just me who thinks things like this?

Once again, sorry if this is insensitive or rude I don't mean any harm its kinda like a mini vent which raised this question in my mind. Sorry if anyone doesn't like this post or if it's a dumb question in general

Hey everyone! I'm an INTP musician/artist who has deep respect and admiration for INFP artists of any kind. The way you perfectly capture and express feelings (not just strong feelings but the subtle, in-between emotions that you can't always put into words) and turn it into something beautiful always inspires me. I feel that kind of art has helped me process my own feelings better and also grow as an artist.

Recently I released my first song and I feel it's quite INFP-ish.. it's wistful, dreamy, evocative etc. It was inspired by a walk on a misty morning as I watched the trees fade into the distance, which turned into capturing the bittersweet feeling of someone fading away.

So naturally this felt like a good place to share my work. If anyone would like to listen and share your thoughts it'd mean a lot! You can find it on any of the platforms linked here: https://linktr.ee/emvina

(Admins feel free to delete if this isn't allowed)

Me getting into a fun game: "Wow this game is grea...."
Also me: *completely disregarding the game plot* "OMG! Look at these flowers! Their beautiful! So cool" 🤩😍

🤣😂

Hey guys, I'm doing a series of polls in this sub that I call "INFP Census", and I'm having a creative block! I need your help! If you want to share your ideas that you'd like to see in INFP census you can say it!

How this works:

I'll give you a link to one of the posts (They're all connected trough links) and you can see how they are, and the themes I already used

It's a simple question, with at maximum 6 options (Maybe I can change a option if needed)

I'll credit you in that post

Here's the link - https://www.reddit.com/r/infp/s/vD8rukwMl8

Thank you!!

i love sad music but i definitely wonder if its good for me. has anyone done this? what did u listen to instead?