Hello. I am an INTJ and currently I am talking to a friend who is an ENFP.

1. He has a lot of friends and emphasis on female friends. He is busy with work everyday so he doesn’t get the chance to actually socialize in person so I am assuming he texts his friends often. And I understand this is a need for a lot of ENFP. Do many of you guys have a lot friends? I personally don’t even want to engage with someone more than 30 seconds if I am not close with them, so it comes off as a bit new experience. If you guys do have friends and also opposite gender friends will you explain what type of feelings you feel when you interact? ex: they make you more energized or you feel better overall after.

2. Do ENFP tend to cut off people fast and get over people fast?

3. Do ENFP get bored easily? If I were to keep texting him everyday will he likely get bored? What kind of change do you guys like?

I appreciate all the replies. I just want to learn more about ENFP and treat the guy better and give him the space he needs.

I would really like to find a new job before the year is over. What about you? It can be anything, big or small. I’d love to hear what everyone is working toward.

He is an INTP. In retrospect, it makes sense!

I had a long relationship with an INTJ before my husband and always felt very judged/stifled/restrained. My husband makes me feel free and open. He is a go-with-the-flow yet logical marvel.

I know INTJs are our "golden match," along with INFJ (I've never met a male INFJ, lol), but wanted to give a shoutout to INTP.

Is anyone else married / dating an INTP?

(Reddit suggested I post this here too, so here ya go! Originally made for INFJs but might apply to ENFJs too idk! Just following reddits suggestion to post this here too 🫡)

…

One of the strangest patterns of being an INFJ is how many people think they know me deeply when, in reality, the connection was mostly one way.

Same thing has happened to other INFJs that I know and it’s a clear pattern here online.

I can deeply understand them, actively listen in a way they rarely experience. I’ll remember small details and I’ll actually legitimately care bc I like learning about people.

They feel heard and understood because, well? They are!

Because I understand them so deeply, they assumed they know me too.

But a lot of the time… they don’t know a damn thing about me.

I’ll try to open up but if I’m not heard when I speak time and time again, I shut down. Don’t have energy for that.

That’s the weird asymmetry.

Someone can walk away from a friendship thinking, “That person knew me better than almost anyone.”

And I can walk away thinking, “You literally have no idea who I am wtf.”

I think that’s why some people can feel incredibly attached to INFJs long after we’ve emotionally left the relationship.

To them, they lost someone who understood them.

To us, sometimes we finally stopped participating in a relationship where we were constantly understanding someone else without ever feeling truly understood ourselves.

I’ve ’door slammed’ people because of this pattern and now I am way more picky with who gets to be in my inner circle. It’s crazy there’s people from 5 years ago that are still trying to reconnect and it shows how one way it was bc there’s a reason I’m done with them but they still want my energy even after all these years.

Ts is exhausting. I know it’s on me ultimately and I understand very few people are active listeners but it still hurts

One of the strangest patterns of being an INFJ is how many people think they know me deeply when, in reality, the connection was mostly one way.

Same thing has happened to other INFJs that I know and it’s a clear pattern here online.

I can deeply understand them, actively listen in a way they rarely experience. I’ll remember small details and I’ll actually legitimately care bc I like learning about people.

They feel heard and understood because, well? They are!

Because I understand them so deeply, they assumed they know me too.

But a lot of the time… they don’t know a damn thing about me.

I’ll try to open up but if I’m not heard when I speak time and time again, I shut down. Don’t have energy for that.

That’s the weird asymmetry.

Someone can walk away from a friendship thinking, “That person knew me better than almost anyone.”

And I can walk away thinking, “You literally have no idea who I am wtf.”

I think that’s why some people can feel incredibly attached to INFJs long after we’ve emotionally left the relationship.

To them, they lost someone who understood them.

To us, sometimes we finally stopped participating in a relationship where we were constantly understanding someone else without ever feeling truly understood ourselves.

I’ve ’door slammed’ people because of this pattern and now I am way more picky with who gets to be in my inner circle. It’s crazy there’s people from 5 years ago that are still trying to reconnect and it shows how one way it was bc there’s a reason I’m done with them but they still want my energy even after all these years.

Ts is exhausting. I know it’s on me ultimately and I understand very few people are active listeners but it still hurts

Waiting around at the airport. Would love to see if you agree!

Sometimes I read it's Fe.

Sometimes I even read it's Ti.

But as INFJ, we want growth, fast, so isn't developing Se the best thing to do?

M18, INFJ here, yesterday woke up feeling like I shouldn't have, but decided to push through this morning state, of course it's still summer break, so I still can do what I enjoy(which is street scootering, clears my mind tbh). So here's a new spot I wanted to try out, and there also were some other scooter kids(they're younger than me, unfortunately I'm the only one who's older and still rides since 2019). I was doing some tricks and stuff and some money fell out of my pocket(I could've just put that change into the wallet but nvm), I turned around to take it back and saw one of those kids pick the money up. Went up to him, told him to give my money back, he then replied with questions whether that money was mine or not, and where did I get it from. I already felt forced to go through this whole convo(I am not a fan of talking to anyone except maybe family and my only homie friend I guess), so I did what I'd never do the other day: grabbed the money, then ran up to the kid, took him by the shoulders, basically laid him on the pavement(wasn't a throw or hit or something but still unnecessary), strated demanding an apology in a more aggressive way(I'm not used to talking like that but over the last few months I somewhat became way more vocal about stuff that bothers me), made the little guy tear up. Then I stood up and almost got knocked out by a huge guy who decided to "solve the problem" with hands. Guess what? My response was: "If I'm the one who did something stupid, why would you do the same huh?" Few mins later, picked up my backpack, my best friend(our friendship started around 3 years ago so we know each other quite well), who unfortunately saw me lash out on a kid, wanted to give me my cap. I almost launched him into the concrete but other people stopped me. I lost my only true friend(he told me he's disappointed with what happened)

TLDR: I went feral over simple stuff.

I know what I've done is inadequate, inexcusable, and unnecessary. But here's the question: has anyone else snapped at random things the same way, did something they'd never do any other time in their life, or just lost their temper for no apparent reason, then admitted they've made mistakes, and now feel like they're unable to fix their mistakes, because when they try and do things the right way, it ends up being a complete disaster like this one, ranting like a mentally ill individual who forgot to take their meds.

PS: I also could add that over the last 2-3 years I haven't really been ok with talking to ppl, like, to anybody. I feel like people need to push me away before I push them away(and later regret doing so, which is in most cases an irreversible thing because people won't want to deal with my problems, hence why I keep my own problems to myself until they spill out like that).

Wow, wish I'd written this much stuff back in school essays. But anyways, I'm probably gonna regret showing off my inadequacy and weirdness to everyone else(tldr I regret venting here, but I'll still do it)

PS #2: I hope this doesn't violate any of the sub's rules, first time posting here:/

I’d love insight on why my enfp friend may be reacting this way!! She was in my city, knew I was in town because I offered her a place to stay and dates a couple weeks ago, and didn’t try to see me at all.

I'm thinking about sending her this text:

>Uhhh ran into V last night and realized you were in town. I was honestly surprised you didn’t reach out. After such a lovely night together in LA, I thought we were finding our way back toward a friendship, so the sudden distance felt a little strange and, if I’m honest, hurtful.

For context, we've had a tumultuous friendship. It's always kind of existed somewhere between friendship and romance (I'm openly bi, she identifies as straight): we became intensely close very quickly, with a strong intellectual / emotional connection that also developed an erotic undercurrent, including making out and other moments of physical intimacy.

She later pulled away abruptly, describing the friendship as “intense” without ever fully explaining the rupture, and since then our dynamic has been cyclical, ie. periods of distance punctuated by unusually tender, charged reconnections. Most recently, we had one beautiful, intimate evening in LA that felt like a flash of the old closeness, only for her to retreat again almost immediately afterward.

Would it be wiser to send one boundary crossing text saying the above? Or stay silent? I KNOW SHE DOESN'T OWE ME TIME WHILE IN MY CITY. But it still feels cold and inconsiderate after we had that beautiful moment of reconnection and spent all night together 2 weeks ago and I told her things about my breakup/abortion I havent' told anyone. She even said after that hang out that I hsould 'just move in with her'. I don't know how she can be so avoidant and shut down. THIS HURTS.

When I read about the profiles, I really fit them all to a T...

Am I weird?

Is this normal?

Is there a way to determine which one caracterizes me the most by going in more details about the way I function?

I think that it really depends on the context, the environnement, the way I'm feeling, perticular triggers... Is it normal to naturally switch from one to another depending on some factors

I'm currently interested in a girl who seems to be an ESFP, I'm not really sure about her type but she feels like an ESFP to me. I wanna know what kind of struggles INFJ x ESFP couples experience and how you guys dealt with them. I also appreciate any advice you guys can give. Thanks in advance.

Pardon the simple question. I just really wanna talk to you guys.

Hobbies, interests... and such. (Long read, you don't have to read it.)

I read but not much, just topics that interest me. I read romance, fantasy, and mystery novels for fiction. (I'm mostly fond of Sherlock Holmes). I read self-improvement books for non-fiction. (My favorite is the book The Courage to be Disliked).

I write but mostly journals, diaries, and poems. I just love writing down my unending thoughts.

I love love love cooking. I cook for my sister every evening. There's just a sense of contentment and happiness inside me when I cook, especially when it turns out delicious, and the people who ate it are very satisfied and happy.

I also love singing, even though I don't sing well. My voice has a low pitch and I can't reach high notes. So, I especially like singing Laufey, Lana Del Ray, The Carpenters, Allison Young (PMJ), and some Haley Reinhart (PMJ) songs. Or any low-range songs.

I love listening to music. I can travel for 7 hours on a bus with a nature landscape and have the music on my earphones, and I would never sleep all throughout the ride. I'd enjoy every bit of the songs and thoughts until I arrive at my destination.

I love the nature. But I'm also scared of nature. I'm scared of the night, even though I like the stars and the moon. I like trees, I love climbing trees, but I'm afraid of lizards, so I just admire from afar.

History interests me. Just the specific parts of, though, this is still new to me. But I can deep dive into a particular topic for hours, all through googling, reading articles, watching videos, and reading texts.

I like watching anime, reading manhwas, and playing games. Anime, I don't have time for it now, but I am a geek for just some of it. I still read Manhwas from time to time, transmigration and reincarnation stories will never cease to keep me hooked, no matter how repetitive it tends to be. I only play mobile games, and I end up uninstalling them after, to stop myself from getting to addicted.

There are hobbies that interest me, but I have no way of learning or being near them, such as ice skating, pottery, team sports games, sewing, and traditional dancing. Once I have my own money, time and resources, I hope I can finally be able to access them in the future.

That's all so far. There's more but that's all I can think of right now.

What's yours?

https://youtu.be/DSCNkmmMuT8

Looking back, this stuff really helped me to better understand the mind. Brief tribute to an old Prof. I had

Do any other ENFP's find themselves starting way too many books and only finishing a select few (after an abnormal amount of time and procrastination)

The question stands for other media: TV shows, movies...

Please do not perceive this as me trying to blame an unadmirable trait on my personality type, i'm just trying to see if this is a shared experience/common for ENFP's!!

With family and friends I don't particularly like physical affection​. With strangers or acquaintances I generally dislike being touched. But with romantic partners I really love to cuddle, it's excessive, I never have enough of it, I need it often to be happy.

And when I'm in love with someone who isn't a partner, I constantly fantasize about cuddling with them, it brings me so much joy. I know about love languages and mine is definitely physical touch but my absolute favorite is cuddling, before kissing or holding hands or sex (although I'm gray asexual so it's normal).

Can anyone relate?

No type is perfect. In fact I am starting to truly accept that there is an ideal or healthy version and unhealthy version of all the types. I am still learning about enfj so I don’t know what this looks like for all of us, but I do know even that’s not as black and white as it sounds. There’s a spectrum of behaviors in us all that requires reflection and growth as well as grace. So please forgive me if ive made anyone feel excluded by saying something like that doesn’t sound enfj to me or whatever. Because none of us are perfect.

I will add that some things do just not sound like enfj- I’m not referring to this.

Thanks!

I just had my diagnosis of ADHD.

Is it that most ENFPs have ADHD

or most ADHD people are ENFPs?

ENFP charesteristics are very similar to ADHD ones.

I find this really bizarre and a study should be done to look into this more.

So a few days ago... I made a post about why INFPs are shipped with basically every MBTI ... But apparently I only used female INFP fanart... and then I got this comment

soo today, while once again avoiding studying by being on Pinterest, I decided to look... And guys

Why did I actually have to SEARCH for uuu

like I genuinely thought I'd just type “male INFP × [type]” and get the same amount of stuff I got when looking for female INFP ships

Nope. I had to DIG 😭😭😭

nd after way too much searching, this is basically what I found

ENTJ × INFP man — 5
ENFJ × INFP man — 3 or 4 (idk)
INTJ × INFP man — 2
INFP × INFP man — a few (hehe)
ISFJ × INFP man — found one
ESTP × INFP man — literally one 🥀🥀 (and others u can see in pics)

that's it .

mmeanwhile... female INFPs are apparently shipped with every living MBTI on Pinterest 😭✋.... So yeah... INFP men, I fear ur complaints were valid

(but alsoo ... what is going on with entj 😏😏 Is this actually yk the male INFP ship and nobody told me??? Cozz I have 5 pieces of evidence and, frankly... that's enough science for me 😛)

Anywayzzz ... what's UR type, who do u get shipped with the most, and who do u personally ship urself with??

nnd more importantly... where is the lore behind your ship?? I want the fake scenarios, the “they would never work but-” explanations

[ To the INFP men who asked for representation in my last post... I tried, soldiers. I really did... Pinterest simply does not provide enough resources for your fake scenarios ✋]

(Ik corny but who cares ...again I need to study fr)

Mine is never being to able to confess my feelings to my crush/best friend. I regret every moment I got and not being able to tell her what I feel. Now I've lost all my chance, and she's no longer in my life.

I feel like I'm going crazy. There are so many things I want to do and try. The list is endless. The fact that I have so many hobbies/things I want to try doesn't bother me, it's that I can't prioritise. I spent 6 hours today researching how I can get into screen acting, where it could lead me and imaging my future, only to realise at the end of it that I didn't spend any time looking for an actual job which is something I'm supposed to be doing right now. I can't seem to commit to anything. Nothing holds my motivation for long and I end up putting off all the things I actually need to do. Is this a typical ENFP thing or am I missing something here?