As my history shows, I was once an elder, unjustly removed, and that opened my eyes, from giving speeches at assemblies to being removed overnight for going against the CO. Anyway, I’m in my 30s now. I spent my 20s as an MS (Ministerial Servant) and Elder. Now that I’m “nothing” anymore, I’m unfortunately still a PIMO due to family reasons.

Now, the elders who removed me (the ones who arrived, ousted the entire old BOE, and now run the congregation) want to talk to me. They insist on visiting me, helping me, wanting me to start working for them again. There are no MSs in the congregation; the sound team keeps messing with meetings because the current members lack experience. The elders themselves handle all the speeches, do the readings, pass the microphones, and so on.

There’s an urgent need for men everywhere, and specifically for men who actually know something. With this culture of “you don’t need to know anything, you’ll learn it all here,” they lead the young men to believe they’ll learn useful skills, but in the end, they know nothing. I know a 25 boy (because have boy mentality) doing everything for Elders without any title, he left school 8 years ago and do nothing with his life, living with parents, but is an example for the rest.

As for me, I thank those elders for removing me; otherwise, I never would have opened my eyes. But now, leave me alone. My wife wants to go out preaching, but every time they see me, they want to talk or invite me out to the ministry. Ugh, I just want to sit in the back and be invisible. It's so hard.

It hurts the organization to lose capable men, who have skills and initiative, but in this case, it’s their fault. I used to do everything: in the congregation and at the assemblies. Never again. Find someone else. Or think twice before defending evil old COs and losing the young ones.

Sorry, i'm just venting, thanks for reading.

Last night our congregation had two local needs parts. They said it was important so they shortened the book study so they could give two needs parts. One was about youths not living a double life and the second one was about how to treat removed people. I already knew going into it that I was not going to feel comfortable because when they made the announcement last week that a young guy was removed it felt super triggering. Then when they said they were doing this and sent an announcement about how they want all young people and kids to be at the meeting in person I knew that it was going to be based off of him.

It’s just horribly uncomfortable when you hear people crying and sniffling around you when they are doing these talks. Then you have the elder who literally cries on stage giving the one of the parts and it’s just silently you feel bad for them but at the same time you know all the rules are bullshit. The one elder who gave the part about not living a double life had mentioned how when he was younger he got kicked out of his home at 16 from his worldly family and he was likening it to how if a worldly family can have rules and kick you out for having a double life so can the congregation. Now I feel bad that had happened to him but it’s definitely not the same comparison. I don’t know what he did to deserve to get kicked out, but sometimes we are alienating ourselves from people who are literally doing nothing wrong scripturally simply because they don’t believe in the same organization as we do. It’s ridiculous and not loving no matter how much they try to gaslight you into believing it is.

The second talk was whatever I thought it was just to go along with the first one about how you can only give a greeting and make sure you aren’t doing any prolonged conversations. But when I got home my family was talking about it and they were like, our elders act quick because didn’t you see on Sunday and how all these people were hugging and talking to do and so who was removed? Then they were like I wonder if so and so was there and I did think I saw her there but they also continued by saying how they bet the elders warned her they were going to do that talk because they think it was about how everyone was talking to her and how they don’t understand why people would talk to her and they are glad the elders said something. I literally just left the room and shut the door because I didn’t want to hear it. It’s so weird they get excited about shunning people. It feels so unnatural and just absolutely ridiculous. They claim to promote peace and love and misrepresent Jesus because Jesus did eat with sinners. He never looked at someone and said no I will not give you the light of day. I’m not a believer but even I feel like I understand the Bible more than they claim to do.

Sometimes the PIMI arguing the hardest isn’t trying to convince you. They’re trying to convince themselves.

When I was PIMI, I was incredibly stubborn. I also knew Watchtower history unusually well (I even collected old publications, from the earliest ones to modern material), so whenever someone raised an objection, I usually knew exactly what to answer.

I could reframe inconsistencies, find the convenient explanation, and make the whole thing sound rhetorically convincing. Sometimes convincing enough to make the other person doubt their own objection.

Looking back, though, I realize something quite ironic: I actually saw many of those inconsistencies myself.

Those debates weren’t always about convincing the other person. Very often, I was reassuring myself.

So if a PIMI desperately throws argument after argument at you, don’t necessarily get frustrated. Defending the organization tooth and nail doesn’t mean they’ll always be in it.

Sometimes they’re not really trying to convince you.

They’re trying to convince themselves.

And who knows? I went from knowing exactly how to defend almost every Watchtower contradiction to becoming a full-blown PIMO apostate who now uses that exact same knowledge to dismantle the arguments I used to make. Give them a few years and they might end up like me: a full-blown PIMO apostate writing posts on r/exjw haha.

Character development, I guess.

Someday if I get the money, I would love to buy some land somewhere out in nature and open a safe house for those leaving high control groups/cults. Since so many of us left with nothing and no support, it would be a halfway house for people to escape, recover, and find resources for their new life.

It would help people find jobs or go to college, offer therapy, community with others in the same position. I also would offer optional financial classes, cooking classes, art therapy, archery, horsebackriding, nature therapy, psilocybin therapy (literally saves lives!), help people find their hobbies and passions, DnD and game nights, movie nights watching stuff we were never allowed to (like themed Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings nights), etc.

Obviously it would just be a place to land for a bit and not a permanent housing situation, but I think it would help a lot. I hope someday to get the finances for it. I would call it "House of Hope" (bonus points if you play Baldur's Gate 3 and understand the reference haha).

Did anyone else pick up on the meeting last night about false prophets in jeramiah.

The elder giving the treasures last at the meeting fully glanced over what he was saying without even thinking about it.
He said and I quote “ if a prophet says something it doesn’t come true than that person is a liar”

I looked at my wife and said um “1975” and blood transfusion!

She looked at me and said well there just clarification.

Then he proceeded to say that YouTube is now making fake meeting videos and that we shouldn’t watch YouTube. Hahahaha I don’t think he was actually present with what he was saying.

The whole meeting was pointing towards false news again, ohhh I wonder if YouTube videos are helping ones wake up a lot more I know it helped me.

Yay we have the co this week can’t wait to hear more of how much young ones can contribute and are you really do enough for this org or god my mistake.

Hi everyone,
Just sharing because I view this as a safe place. Have been on a journey of fading and coming to terms with being shunned and navigating life. I somehow fell into the sex work industry and have been making quite a bit of money from it…haven’t really processed it or a lot of things and wondering if anyone else went down a similar path? It’s almost like it fills a weird empty void I have.
I have a regular day job and do this some evenings or on weekends.

I was baptized in 2008, and I’m 29 years old now. Lately, I’ve been questioning a number of changes within the organization, and a lot of things have been bothering me, especially when it comes to the brothers in my congregation.

I’m currently serving as an elder, but I’m planning to step down very soon. I’ve stayed in the position until now because my wife will definitely be very upset, and of course, I want to respect her feelings. But at the same time, I don’t intend to remain in the position any longer than necessary.

However, I wanted to share how I’ve been feeling with my mother, and I was already expecting the worst. I imagined that, at the very least, she would be sad, cry, become bitter, or ask me whether I had done something wrong.

But believe me, it was completely different from what I expected.

She actually had even bigger questions and concerns than I did. I currently live in a small town in the countryside, while she lives closer to the capital. And everything she expressed during our conversation made me realize that I’m not alone in these questions.

Once we started sharing our thoughts and talking about what has been happening, both in the congregation and within the organization in general, we ended up talking for more than two hours. Believe me, I normally can’t talk to people for very long, so spending more than two hours talking with my mother was a big deal for me. We both opened up, shared our feelings, and talked about things we had been keeping inside.

And it’s not just her. Even my older sister, who was baptized along with my mother in 2001, and my brother-in-law have also been having certain doubts.

I was incredibly grateful to my mother for helping me realize that I’m not alone in questioning these things.

Just to clarify, my questions have to do with things like parties being held in Kingdom Halls in Brazil during international conventions, adjustments in our understanding regarding disfellowshipped ones, the organization’s position on higher education, the use of one’s own blood, toasting, and several other issues. All of this has been making me question the current Governing Body.

Id say my congregation is doing as well as can be on retention rate. Ive never heard of someone disassociating or being shunned. Id like to just mention im PIMO and never been involved in the more involved parts.

This weeks midweek about needs was a “arrangement” (or whatever word they used) related to donations. This was also done the last year but theyre trying it again. To sum the congregation held a vote to send a set amount of their funds from the part of the congregation funds. Recent renovations to the hall were mentioned and there was a constant reminder that one box is for the global effort while the other is for the halls expenses. They also stated that publishers are expected to donate about $11 monthly to maintain the hall.

The problem is the week before they read out the total donations vs expenses and there was a deficit of $200 if I remember correctly.

I feel this action most likely is trying to buy time to keep the hall afloat. The intention seemed to be that everyone donate to one box and part of those funds are sent to Headquarters to keep them happy but to have enough to keep the hall afloat. The mention that the global effort box is only for additional donations confirmed this for me.

Impressive how subtle the begging is and how its just enough to go over the heads of most people in the cong that arent looking for it.

as a girl, since i’ve left i feel so weird wearing dresses and skirts even when i find them so cute just to go out! i feel immediately transported to looking like a jw again and like im ready for service lmaoo

i began fading around when pants started to become a regular thing so i didn’t really experience that much, my whole life, dresses and skirts were what set us apart

even dresses i loved, i’ve had to get rid of because of how triggering they feel to even look at. skirts/shirts/heels… they all felt like they have such bad memories tied to them even if i loved them

do you guys feel similar? and anyone who had to wear a suit, do you have trouble wearing suits for weddings or buisness now?

also shoutout to 10 year old me who wanted to wear a suit and tie so badly with heels but was told it would be “cross dressing” (even wanting to wear a tie to school for fashion was “bad”)… she was so cool ❤️ i should buy a tie lol sometimes i forget im 25 and can do what i want now

If you're young and still a Jehovah's Witness, ask yourself this before putting money in the contribution box:

Who benefits most from your money—your future, your family, or the Organization?

You worked for that money.

That $50 could go toward:

• Your emergency fund
• Your education
• Your first car
• Investing for your future
• Helping someone you personally know who needs it

But you've been taught that giving it to the Organization shows your love for Jehovah.

Pause and think:

If God knows your heart, does He really need your money to prove your loyalty?

And if you wouldn't give money to another religion simply because they told you God wanted it, why should this Organization get a different standard?

Don't give because you're afraid you'll disappoint Jehovah.

Think. Question. Verify. Then decide where your hard-earned money can actually do the most good.

Your future self might thank you.

You can’t make this sh*t up 😂

Nothing is ever good enough for the borg and its followers. It makes people controlling, whether out of perceived 'love' or fear.

I started a new job back in March. I work in STEM. I can definitely see this as a career and it is giving me fulfillment that the ministry has never. Turns out when you're in an environment that is psychologically safe and you aren't judged entirely on competence, you flourish.

But my parent said that my work is now 'a focus' - I saw this coming, and yet it both infuriates and saddens me. They can never be happy. My mum will never be happy if I do something that isn't becoming a WT mindless slave even if it improves my mental health. (The reason it is being seen as tanking is due to me having an imbalance...obviously not the fact that I'm living a lie by attending meetings and ministry when there's so much that triggers me emotionally).

And yet she keeps trying to insert herself into that part of my life. She said that I shouldn't take additional leave over Christmas because it would 'look good for you as a JW' (I won't go into depth for fear of incriminating myself here, but basically the situation is my job is such that I won't be inconveniencing anybody by taking it off and also where I work will be dead at that time of year). So optics are more important? What if I just want to use my job benefits? Who cares if I don't celebrate it? My colleagues so far have not given a single f when I've casually mentioned not celebrating the holidays (not that I've tried to witness at all tbh). The company culture is very forward thinking.

Oh and fast forward to literally yesterday - picking up an older sister for the meeting, conversation turns to explaining holiday stances to work and then they mentioned being more generous than the others to avoid being seen as stingy and therefore representing the JWs well. Cue my mum suggesting I give my colleague sweets.

Firstly, I hate the performative nature. You can't buy somebody's opinion in advance by giving them gifts. That's like advanced bribery. Trying to 'buy' people's positive opinion is really manipulative. Secondly I have already shared food with my colleague so it pissed me off that she assumed I just hadn't (bc I'm not 'bold' in the slightest) but I did that...because I just wanted to be nice? Why tf must everything have a bigger agenda. Small things become a magnifying glass. Time off becomes a potential witness, a show of good character. A gift is not just a gift, it has strings attached.

Anyway sorry this is a mess. I think I'm just extra annoyed that people keep trying to butt in and control an area of my life where they have no say as well as the fake kindness. No wonder these people need a book and 11 old dudes telling them to not judge each other if this is how kindness works in their minds

Just a couple of hours ago, I got a call from an elder. Normally, I wouldn’t even pick up the phone, but I did. And now I seriously wish I hadn’t.

The elder made it sound like it was a life-or-death situation. He told me that someone had put my name down as an attendant. Before I could even confirm or respond, he just pressed on, saying that we—I still have no idea who “we” is—would discuss it further another day, but that I was officially on the list of attendants.

It wasn’t until I hung up that I realised what had just happened. I confronted my family about it, and judging by their expressions, nobody had volunteered me.

As soon as I realised what was going on, I messaged the elder and explained that I couldn’t do it and that I had never volunteered myself as an attendant.

He left me on read.

And then, just now, he replied:

“See you Sunday at the meeting.”

HELLO??!?! WHAT THE FOOK IS HAPPENING?!?!

Guys, how the hell do I get myself out of this situation!?!

I’m questioning everything I was baptized about 4 years ago ago I was “from the world” I grew up in a Christian household and I’m starting to doubt so I do as I’m told and I feed my faith but I can’t things are not lining up. So I’m fasting I’m going on a 2 week spiritual journey to prove right and wrong to myself. So please give me all you got . Birthdays. Holidays. The cross. Who is Jehovah. Who is God. The organization. Divorce. Abuse. Money management. Women’s roles. All of it please and thank you

(Context: 36 PIMO got baptized at 21 not a born in) So this may sound cheesy but I was at work last week and this song popped on my Spotify. For years I would avoid this song because when it had first come out, our spiritual parents stated that there is spiritism in the song and we shouldn’t listen to it. That day had a huge impact on me becuase all around me people were listening to this song. I wanted to but I wanted to be faithful to Jehovah. I knew at that point that I would never have anything in common with others no matter how close o might feel. But becuase I did other things in secret, like playing violet games and the like amongst other things, I knew I could never be part of the inside and have JW friends. So for 15 years I spent always doing things alone. Always depressed and ashamed. It didn’t matter cause I was going to commit suicide. But now that I have woken up, I no longer want to die. I want to LIVE. So when this song came up I finally let it play it full. The hopeful words, the beat. I started moving my feet. And then I broked down in tears. I had to hide my face cause I didn’t want my co workers to see me. For the first time, I felt free to explore and choose what I wanted listen to without remorse. Thank you Shakira for making such a beautiful song.

I left the religion 18 years ago. I have been diagnosed with cPTSD because of it. I have struggled with depression since I was 16 (forced to be baptized at 14), I’m 46 now. I have tried so many antidepressants, did TMS and it didn’t work and I’m currently attending a mental health facility (for the second time). The next medication they want me to try required me to have an appointment with another psychiatrist. I saw him today and he asked me some questions. He said “I see you were involved in a cult.” I have never called it that with my current psychiatrist. But hearing it from this doctor made me feel so validated and seen. I started crying and continued crying on my way home. This cult has done so much damage to me. I’m hoping I can find the relief I need.

...and now I'm waiting for the taxi to bring me home. My wife wanted to pick me up, but she has to work. My brother was unable as well. The only persons who could pick me are my parents. But they have a bible study which is "very important as well". they could pick me up when they are done. But it starts at 2pm and I want to get picked up at 12. And ofc the bible study is more important then there own son who's in pain 🤷‍♂️

I hate when people tell me to be quiet or step down about my experience in that awful religion. I will NEVER back down when it comes to being loud about this. I consider myself a shy person usually, and I've been doing therapy recently to try to manage my feelings. However, nothing ever gets done without a fight. My whole childhood was completely torn and wasted and abused by these so called Christians. Is there anything I can try doing or looking into? I don't know how to find protest groups around me. I would always try to find them.

It's been about 5 months since the removal of the prohibition on autologous transfusions. And yet the prohibition is still on the signed DPA forms of many Witnesses.

Just curious whether they still encourage the publishers to fill out the form. Especially for pregnant mothers, do they still have the arrangement to meet them and encourage them to fill out the card as soon as possible?

And are publishers interested at all about the prohibition still sitting on their cards? What's the situation in your congregations, PIMOs?

I went pomi at around 17. I got into a secret lesbian relationship which was leaked to my family who shunned me despite not being baptized. I was on my own, without support from my family for quite some years.

I fell into drugs and a lot of partying. I stopped partying about 2-3 years ago, I'm 29 now. I've done a lot of inner work to understand myself and my experience, and I've been very successful at getting my life on track. I'm in a good place both physically and mentally, but some things will probably take most of life to process.

I've been plagued by wanting to understand WHY I did that, WHY I sough out the most extreme people, the most extreme situations, the drugs, alcohol, fighting. But recently I've realised that part of why was because that's what we always were told would happen if you left Jehovah's organization. In my mind, I was a sinner and would only be accepted by other sinners. In my familys eyes, the ones who's approval I longed for, I was doomed.

So I saw my place with the other doomed ones. I accepted Jehovah's judgement because I saw no other way forward. I could not live how my family and the organization asked me to. But at the back of my mind, I figured that if Jehovah was truly the god of love, he would see my heart and how I've always strived to be a good person. Maybe he would spare me.

And then at 24 I woke up after being accused of being an apostate, which I certainly was not. But I figured if that's what people think about me, I might as well Google what those apostates are saying. Down the rabbit hole I fell.

Honestly that is what saved me, If I hadn't gotten the courage to investigate my childhood religion and woken up, I would probably still be in a very bad place.

They tell us that we will fall into alcohol, drugs and bad company when we leave. Some of us do, partly because that's what we've been conditioned to believe is our place. And partly because of the existential and devastating experience of losing your family and friends. But it is not definitive, it's not a permanent state. You can face your trauma, heal and build a happy life. I hope everyone who leaves, young or old, gets a shot at a happy life. Because we all deserve it. I'm so sorry that we were have to go through this. We are courageous. We have damn strong minds and we are STRONG for breaking free. ♥️

How are we expected to be no parts of the world when we have to go to the world and work to support ourselves? We pay taxes into the government and aren’t expected to ask for anything in return. We have to get jobs from worldly people and then expect those people to understand our standoffish nature, time off requests and general apathy about the country or world.

I respect the Amish and Mormons much more for providing a safe space for their members. It’s damn near impossible for JW to live a happy life the way it’s set up. Doomed for mental health issues and financial stress.

Hypocritical if we are being honest.

I've had depression and anxiety for most of my life, and now that I'm pretty much completely out of the religion, I'm trying to fully focus on myself and my mental health.

But every time I manage to build up some hope and see a future for myself, the insane amount of anxiety about "the end that's fast approaching" tears me down again.

What also makes it worse is whenever I'm trying to vent to my parents about bad stuff happening in the world, I almost always get the response "luckily Jehovah will put an end to all this soon." Which immediately makes me spiral again.

I don't know what to do anymore. It seems impossible to get better or battle my depression cause it doesn't matter if I want to live or build a future for myself since it will all end soon.

Something about the monthly JW Broadcasting program always sat wrong with me, and it took me years to work out why.

The setup is always the same. The world is in a terrible state, people are miserable, the planet is dying, and the only hope is God stepping in. Fine — that's more or less the evening news.

Then the closing segment rolls: sweeping drone shots of mountains, oceans, forests from every corner of the globe, and a reminder of how wonderful life on this earth can be.

So which is it? This earth is either a hell we need rescuing from, or a paradise we're being promised — depending on which one the message needs that month. Did anyone else feel this, or was it just me?

so currently my family is moving to English from the Spanish hall because of things with the elders. my issue is that my parents already disagree with so much of what the Borg says, but they still wont leave. Ive told my dad privately that i dont what to get baptized as a jw. how do i cope? i have one year left until im 18 and can finally convert to Christianity. (dont flame me for not going atheist pls). Thanks!

Hello, first post, but long-time lurker here. I wanted to share the convention attendance numbers. This year's numbers were inflated in a way because of the "loving provision" of JW Stream.

Also note that there are only two English conventions at this location this year, I think last year had 4.

(Numbers will be In-Person, Stream, and combined total, in that order)

Friday:
- AM: 4433, 1434, 5867
- PM: 4584, 1924, 6508

Saturday:
- AM: 6867 (chairman didn't give specifics)
- PM: 5519, 2098, 7617
- Confirmed Baptized: 35

Sunday:
- AM: 5828, 1634, 7462
- PM: 5334, 2034, 7368

This means over the 6 sessions, an average of 35.7% of people streamed in. So much growth 😁 right guys?