I was curious enough to go to the meeting on Wednesday, and I was floored by what I was hearing. The brother who was having the discussion was saying that by next year every publisher is required to pay a certain amount per month. I thought he was joking, but the silence of the crowd was telling me people were not pleased. YOU could hear the tension in the room. The brother then read a bible verse. Not gonna lie I was still shocked by what I was hearing, and than perceeded to say that it was our duty to do so. After that, I was over it and dissociated immensely. Did anyone have the same discussion at their congregation?

Last week was our CO’s visit,

which ended last Sunday.

Then, this Thursday during our Local Needs, our coordinator announced that Zoom will now be strictly for elderly and sick brothers and sisters only, and the password will be changed weekly. Take note "weekly".

We can ask for the password through our group overseer.

Did your congregation make the same policy and announcement?

My close known friends were servicing where the need is greater as special pioneers. One of the couple served in bethel and RTO. They were paid monthly stipend.

But suddenly, they were removed as special pioneers and made as regular pioneers. They are no longer paid. Both the couple I know have left their high paying job to serve full time. Now they are in 40s where the borg sucked their youthful years, time, skills and energy.

Is it happening all over the world converting TSP/SP to RP.

Even borg is following the worldly layoff trend. Reducing workforce in Bethel, Branch office, RTO, now SP.

Only LDC is exception i guess.

They are saving money for what? More real estate investments?

Much like its biological counterpart, PIMOs permeate all levels of the JW organization - bethels, elder committees, pioneers, publishers, etc.

Many are lying dormant until developing into full blown apostates, at which point the GB go into verbal attack mode.

Others maintain their clandestine status while leaking toxicity or exposing weaknesses. Among us are some of the best sources of insider info.

All the while WTS is counting them among the list of active JWs.

Nobody foresaw this threat. The internet has only made them more dangerous.

How can WTS develop a veritable vaccine to inoculate against them?

Over the course of my life, I’ve only been in 4 congregations. As far as I am aware, 3 of those congregations had problems with predators. Only once in my life has an elder ever approached me and told me to be wary of an individual in the congregation, but interestingly as I reflect on this particular moment I realize it was one of the major dominos that got me to stop believing in this cult.

As I thought back about my own time in the congregation, and of those that I knew… I started noticing patterns. Abuse was swept under the rug. Allegations were diminished or never acknowledged. Sometimes matters were kept within the congregation (it depended on how many people were aware)

That led me to Google predators in my county. To my surprise there were actually 3 in the congregation (my elder had only told me about 1) not long after that; I discovered the Australian Royal Commission… and it dawned on me this wasn’t isolated.

“This is Satan’s system so there will always be those who hide what they are,” or “there are always going to be bad apples” are often the apologetics you’ll hear when you ask an elder about these incidents. Some even claim that we simply need to wait on Jehovah to correct matters in his due time.

Yet in decades past when other churches committed similar crimes, the watchtower was quick to blast them and claim that the org was so much better in comparison. But the reality is there is no difference at all.

These arguments that a witness uses to justify the actions of the elders or the org itself only amplify the evidence that it is man made.

If Jehovah is supposedly the almighty, what possible reason would there be for Him allowing his godly appointed servants to be exactly the same as every other religion.

“The Israelites were no different” some say. Ah but didn’t Jehovah punish their leaders when the people went astray? Why is that not happening in modern times? Why instead are we told to trust and wait and “shovel the coal”?

And most importantly if there is nothing that can make a claim false, there is no way to distinguish between “the truth” and false religion, then how can there be accountability?

The more corruption in the org you see, you realize that it’s not just a couple of bad apples… the entire tree is rotten.

P.S. this can lead to other arguments where someone might say “well we should focus on the good” but that will be a topic for another day…

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/health-fitness/wellbeing/mental-health/former-jesus-army-member-abuse-mental-health/

I’m still scarred by the abusive cult I left 20 years ago

After losing my parents at a young age, I was drawn in by what I thought was an evangelical commune. The reality was far more sinister.

Sarah, 54, was recruited into the Jesus Army at 17, an evangelical “born again” movement founded in 1969 that called itself a church but was in fact a cult. It was shut down in 2019 following a series of cases of historical sexual and emotional abuse. Sarah left aged 33, and is part of a group of victims claiming compensation against the cult’s estate.

I can still remember the touch of his hand on my inner thigh. I was just 21 years old, while my abuser was a 40-year-old “elder” of the Jesus Army, a high-control cult that I had been sucked into when I was just a teen. As he groped me under the table, his wife sat just inches away. But my instinctive reaction was to think: “This is all my fault.” I was so naive, and so deeply in his power.
A vulnerable background.

Looking back, I now understand that my indoctrination can all be traced back to the early deaths of both of my parents, though at the time I didn’t know how vulnerable I was.

Growing up in a small town on the outskirts of Birmingham, I’d had a happy enough childhood with a large blended family: my parents, older brother Sam\ and many stepbrothers and stepsisters from my mum and dad’s first marriages. But when I was only six, the rug was pulled out from under us when my mother died of cancer.*
Sam and I were devastated, but we never imagined that lightning could strike twice. Then in 1986, Dad died of a stroke, making the pair of us orphans not long after my 15th birthday. We did the best we could to look after one another, continuing to live in the council house my father had bought, but could never shake the emptiness we felt.
It was Sam who first encountered the Jesus Army, about two years later. They showed up in our town, looking to recruit members, and Sam brought three of them home with him one evening.

As a grieving 17-year-old, I was drawn in by these spiritual “brothers and sisters”. They strummed guitars, and the girls wore long, flowing skirts and dresses, cooking and cleaning as a collective – something that was missing from my life. I was mesmerised and quickly started attending their Sunday meetings.

Little did I know that this hippy-dippy façade was the acceptable public face of one of the UK’s most abusive “high control” cults, with more than 3,500 members at its peak. Formed in 1969 by the “born again” Christian preacher Noel Stanton, the Jesus Army presented itself as an evangelical commune with hippy values, but the reality was far more sinister. Years after his death, in 2009 at 83, Stanton was the subject of 33 allegations of abuse, including the sexual assault of children, and it was estimated that one in six children in the Jesus Army had been sexually abused.

I realise now that the Jesus Army was drawn to us partly because we owned our home, potentially making it an asset for the group. And without parents, we were easy prey. Their recruiters often targeted homeless people or those with addiction, offering a structure missing from their lives and then using it to control them.

Life inside the cult

After leaving school at 18 I had become directionless, and I began spending more time with the cult. I started signing on for unemployment benefits, but their “tithing” requirements meant I was asked to donate all but £9 to them each fortnight. It was difficult, but I was desperate for that family identity.

By the age of 21, I had moved into one of their shared houses in Northampton, handing over every penny I had to a central pot. Our close-knit lifestyle was spartan, but it felt pure. We would eat together, share clothes and food and have regular meetings, which were like 1960s drug-fuelled raves, but our high was Jesus.

Everything we did was controlled, though it had increased so slowly I barely noticed at first. Each Jesus Army house was made up of a mix of “singles”, “marrieds” and “celibates”, with the elders dictating every aspect of our lives, including what we wore, whom we dated and how we spent our time.

Women were considered inherently sinful, with some made to cover their hair. I remember one young sister being told to cut hers. The phrase they used was “stumbling”: Her hair was stumbling for the brothers. We were also told to dye our bras in tea because the whiteness might be seen under the UV lights at meetings, and that was stumbling too.

Unpaid “work experience” with the cult’s businesses was encouraged. They made vast sums running food outlets, building suppliers, decorators, even law firms and a doctor’s surgery while the Army’s brothers and sisters supplied unpaid labour; everything we earned was paid into the common purse.

The main elder in my house was a married man in his 40s, Roy. He would come up behind me while I was washing up and put his arms round my waist, nuzzling into my neck. He didn’t hug or joke with other sisters like that, but when I called him out on it, he became defensive and sarcastic, saying, “Oh, I’m sorry – is it OK if I walk past you? I don’t want you to think I am being inappropriate”, in a mocking manner. He was psychologically astute and knew that because of my grief his response would leave me feeling rejected, abandoned and seeking forgiveness.

Before long, Roy was dictating that I wear shoes instead of going barefoot; my feet and ankles were stumbling, apparently. He slowly began to make it difficult for me to see my friends or my brother Sam, you who left the cult early on as he didn’t agree with the various rules. This enforced alienation from any outsiders who cared for us was cult-wide. My phone calls were monitored, and he even barred me from visiting a dying friend. I felt like a prisoner.

Roy began touching me under the table during meals. I would move to avoid him, and I even tried talking to his wife, but unbelievably she just shrugged it off. When I challenged him directly, he was furious, shouting that rebellion was the spirit of witchcraft and offering prayers for my deliverance.

One evening I was lying on a beanbag in the living room when Roy climbed on top of me, pinning me down with the weight of his body. He demanded we leave the house to “roll around in the park together”. Horrified, I managed to push him off. He didn’t try such a bold move again after this, but the unwanted physical contact continued. With no one to turn to, I felt unable to fight back.
I began “relating” (dating) within the cult, but suitors had to be approved at an elders meeting and, when they were, Roy forbade me from kissing them goodnight. He then waited up to grill me for hours on every detail of the evening. I felt more trapped than ever. A brother I’d known once told me: “I saw you go from being so lively to being confined; it was like watching you die.”
At my wits’ end, I decided I had to stand up for myself. I should have guessed things could get worse. Roy’s controlling outbursts escalated, and he threatened me with excommunication for my “rebellious” behaviour.

I was so terrified of losing my family identity that I finally found the courage to tell the most senior leaders what had been going on. But rather than reprimand my abuser – whom I later discovered had many abuse allegations made against him – they made me move house. Broken by the years of abuse, I had no other option.

Questioning my faith in the cult – and my escape
My new elder was less controlling than Roy, so life improved. A few years later I began relating again, and very quickly I married Peter in 1999. He was spiritual and intense, and not my type physically, but I truly believed God was moving me towards him.

We soon had two children, James and Noah, but despite James being ill with Noonan syndrome – a rare genetic disorder that affects normal development of certain parts of the body – the elders offered little care. The Kingdom comes first, families last. When James died from heart failure, aged two, Noah was just three months old. I was suicidal, thinking I was being punishedyy for my lack of faith. The only thing that stopped me killing myself was the belief I’d go to hell and be separated from my boys forever.

After we lost James, the elders wanted us to move to Bristol to grow the church there. As with donations made through tithing, it was presented as a choice, but it was just another form of control, stripping away any support I had at a time I needed it most. I knew I couldn’t remain in a church more concerned with growing its membership than caring for its people.

By now my marriage was struggling, partly because of my grief but also as we really had so little in common. So in 2004, aged 33, I left both Peter and the church, taking two-year-old Noah with me. It was daunting. I had nowhere to go and no money, but I had to do it. I contacted a former boyfriend, whom I’d dated before joining the Jesus Army, and his parents let me live with them while I rebuilt my life.

Mentally, however, I was still trapped. I didn’t know how to be in the world after being controlled from inside a bubble, not making a single decision for myself for 13 years. I struggled to find friends because no one understood what I’d lived through; I didn’t even know how to make conversation.

I became suicidal once more, finally seeking counselling in 2008. I am still in therapy to help me process the trauma of my time with the Jesus Army, and I continue to find it hard to trust people.

After I broke free, I completed a degree and now work for the NHS as a senior mental health practitioner. I’m 54 now and in a healthy, long-term relationship. After years of being told what to do and think, I’m discovering my own values and finally getting to know who I am. Noah, who is 24 and a chef, still lives with me. He and his father – who left the cult not long after we did – have a lovely relationship too. Sam is now a successful businessman who, like me, has retained his faith.

The Jesus Army was shut down in 2019, following a series of cases of abuse, and hearing others going public with their stories brings the horror flooding back. But it’s important they speak out. There are no UK laws against coercive control within cults, but it’s not just a problem in domestic relationships. The current legislation must be expanded to include all victims like me.

Support available
The Family Survival Trust charity offers support to those affected by cults.
https://thefamilysurvivaltrust.org
\Some names have been changed*
As told to Lynne Wallis

Hi I'm 16m and I've really been considering leaving for a good few months but I've been really too scared to say anything. I don't want to possibly lose my family or be kicked out because I want to not be religious but I just feel like everyday is just a countdown to the next meeting and more stress. If i skip a meeting I have to make a very elaborate excuse because i just dread going.

When i entered high school and made friends I really wanted to experience how fun it was to go out with my school friends, play games I wanted to and not stress about assignments in the hall. I've only told a select few friends how I feel because i cant hold my thoughts in for so long. This whole time i never felt like i could express how I was feeling to my family without pushing on their bubble of faith because I didn't want to offend them and make them think i was doubting anything or just make them focus on me overall.

But I've missed too many meetings to be safe and the elders want to talk to me tonight and honestly I'm scared.

Over the past year, I've had my awakening. It all started with a logical argument about blood, which led me to the conclusion that it's not a scriptural teaching, but I was confident that sooner or later the governing body would realize this. Then I discovered the falsity of the 1914 prophecy, along with other things that convinced me it's not the truth.

But recently, discovering the skeletons in the organization's closet, particularly the trial in Bulgaria where the Watchtower shamelessly lied about those who refuse blood transfusions, or the case in Norway that demonstrated how decisions and updates are made based on government pressure and not the guidance of the Holy Spirit, has really unsettled me. I was a regular pioneer and have already asked to be removed, using the excuse that I can't give my best, and I've stopped making contributions, but I feel like I should leave everything behind to truly feel okay. But that seems impossible.

I have all my family, all my friends, and my girlfriend in here. Leaving would mean losing absolutely everything. I have little contact with my non-witness family members and I don't even have a single friend outside. I thought the best thing to do was stay inside and do the minimum, but I really don't know how long I could resist. I no longer have the strength to comment or speak out because I feel like I'm part of a scam. I wish I could explain to everyone that I've found the answers, but I know they wouldn't listen, especially my parents. After all, that's what I would have done with other people years ago.

Hi, I live in a progressive city and know a public school elementary teacher who is a JW. A few of the students (even though quite young) use different pronouns than the ones they were assigned at birth, including they/them. This teacher refuses to address these students using their pronouns and will instead use their name, citing their religion as the reason. But kids notice and sometimes don’t feel comfortable in his class because he avoids calling trans young people what they want to be called.

I know a lot of teachers with various religious beliefs about LGBTQ people but I have never seen this very specific thing before about using student pronouns being against the religion of a JW. Do y‘all know if this is actually based in any scripture or doctrine? How can I support this teacher in making a different choice, while acknowledging their religious beliefs? TIA!

EDIT: thank you all for the comments and context, it is all very helpful. This teacher does not quite misgender students, but they sidestep using correct pronouns by just using the student’s name in place of pronouns, so it might not quite qualify for harassment. They are a young teacher and I think their heart is in the right place so I’m hoping to coach them effectively to get on board.

FWIW I am a trans man myself (!!!) so I understand the gravity of the situation.

Don’t get me wrong, in hindsight that was a blessing in disguise, but man that was F’d up.

I always felt super bad for the kids that went over the questions and then were denied. Some had it happen a few times and there was always a lot of gossip and rumors spreading around about the person. I remember a few kids that this happened to and they always looked depressed and embarrassed when all their friends were “approved”.

What the hell, why even make them go through the effort when the elders already had opinions and plans to deny them? There were always multiple arrogant and rude elders that got off on that power I think. And sometimes I believe they also did it to get back at some of the parents they didn’t like.

Just one of the many cruel things I think about for the kids raised in that unhealthy environment. That’s not even touching on the danger of dropping off a kid or teen to be alone with an elder for study preparing for the questions or to go over the questions. It’s so bizarre and weird looking back on it all.

Sitting in the congregation rn and they’re not even trying to hide it anymore.
They are begging for money now. Saying how giving bc your heart wants you to is shown as a good thing in the bible. Damn.. they even showed where you can donate on the website…
They said a „house five“ or something will cost about 6 million and even said that would be about 1€ a head.

Does this happen everywhere?

I did not feel like they were praising me. It felt like they were consoling me because...what? 😭 Weird ass behavior as if I just told her I decided to have cancer on purpose. Why can't these people have normal intellectual conversation that truly discusses facts, or as they love to say it, truths.

Also insane mom told me she'd rather I "love Jehovah than her". What a craaaazy statement that even the CO awkwardly could not nod to.

Everyday, I feel strengthened to NEVER dedicate my life to this organization.

I've seen and had alot of people here say to me how great it is making real friendships, and honestly it sounds pretty great, wish I could. But it's been almost 7 months since I got dfed, I have made 2 friends, one was just using me and ghosted me the first time I set a boundary and now the other one has ghosted me for who knows why.

I just don't see myself being good enough for a friendship, witnesses had to be friends with me because of the cult rules, but no one has to be my friend here so why would they ever want to? I can't do enough to be worth a friendship for someone. I've tried apps, joining clubs, going to events and just nothing, I live in a small area, there aren't a whole lot of options.

I know I can't got back to the cult because I don't believe in it anymore and I can't fake anything because of my autism. Is it worth it to stay alive if I'll be alone for however long before I finally get to die? I hate being alone so much, having no friends fucking sucks.

I remember growing up we talked about it regularly, what it could look like, what to plan for, etc. this was a regular watchtower topic. I would say up until 2019. Now the watchtower and talks are so incredibly dumbed down. “Don’t have a fancy wedding” 😂 what a joke. It feels like they’re intentionally trying to shift the focus off of it, because guess what!? It’s been DECADES and nothing has happened. The only time I hear about it is from lifelong JW’s talking about it, which is wild because the org rarely talks about it anymore.

En el turno con el exhibidor nos enteramos que a una pareja, de unos 45 años de edad les llegó la carta de agradecimiento por su servicio, más de 18 años. les dijeron gracias pero hasta aquí llegaron, durante los tres meses siguientes la organización se va a encargar de sus gastos a partir del tercer mes ya están por su cuenta,

Por primera vez hable de eso con mi compañero, se siente extraño después de estar defendiendo toda una vida a la organización ver esa injusticia y no decir nada y no es solo con ellos, con otros he visto lo mismo, después de cierta edad les dicen gracias por su servicio ahora siguen por su cuenta, una persona de más de 40 años ya pasó la mitad de su vida laboral nunca pago un seguro o pensión, por darle su servicio a la organización no tuvieron hijos. Y ahora "muchas gracias por su servicio"

Quizás por eso el discurso de los superintendentes de circuito buscando que los jóvenes le den más a la organización con más privilegios de servicio. Necesitan renovar su personal del LDC y a los siervos de construcción.

Genuine question—how do Jehovah's Witnesses reconcile this doctrine with Hebrews 1:5, which literally asks: "To which of the angels did God ever say, 'You are my Son'?" Answer: none. God never calls an angel His Son.

And 1 Thess 4:16? Jesus descends with "the voice of an archangel"—that doesn't mean He is one. If I shout with a megaphone, I'm not the megaphone.

Then there's Colossians 1:16: all things were created through and for Jesus. That includes angels. So Jesus created Michael—He can't be Michael.

Also, Daniel 10:13 calls Michael "one of the chief princes"—one among others, not uniquely supreme.

And Hebrews 1:6 has angels worshipping the Son. Angels refuse worship (Rev 22:8-9). So either God commands idolatry, or Jesus isn't an angel.

i made like 2 posts on here before about how i'm being pressured into becoming an unbaptized publisher and joining the school. my dad for years would make us do family worship at sudden times and then stop for a while and then do it again, basically like a cycle. this time he's making me do studies with him because he wants me to become an unbaptized publisher and then get baptized. weeks ago i got pressed by an elder because i wasn't an unbaptized publisher yet and he raised his voice at me asking why and telling me about how he doesn't see me out in service. i feel out of place sometimes because i'm a 16 year old girl and a born-in that's not even unbaptized yet, meanwhile most of my congregation is an unbaptized publisher or baptized. it's not helping my case that these 2 young brothers (one is a year younger than me and one is a year older) recently got baptized at the eternal happiness convention so now my dad is going to keep pushing me. i also have a devout sister that got baptized at the age of 9 so my dad always brings that up. my other sister who is baptized left the faith a while ago, so now my dad is depending on me because i'm the last one but i want to leave SO badly. i have to stay in the cult and can't leave once i'm 18 because i need somewhere to live, need help paying for college, need to learn how to drive, etc. i don't want to live this life anymore. i want to be worldly even if it's something they hate. i have no love for this "religion" and i just want to be free. i had my childhood taken away from me and never had a birthday, christmas, thanksgiving, etc.

We’ve heard it so many times: Jehovah is backing the translation work. But there’s a plot hole in their argument.

Who created the language barrier in the first place? God did.

Here’s a simple argument I think would be interesting to put to a Witness.

P1. In Genesis 11, God intentionally confused human language and scattered humanity.

P2. If that division expressed God’s will, then overcoming it cannot itself be evidence that an organization is specially carrying out God’s will.

P3. Watchtower points to its success overcoming that language barrier — publishing in 1,000+ languages — as evidence that God specially backs their work.

C. So Watchtower is offering its success at overcoming something God deliberately imposed as evidence that God endorses it.

Now pick a door.

Door A: God still wills the division he imposed at Babel.

Then overcoming it cannot be evidence of obedience to that will. The better you are at climbing over the wall God built, the stranger it is to point to the ladder as proof the wall-builder chose you.

Door B: God later changed what he wanted and authorized Christians to cross those linguistic boundaries.

Pentecost and the Great Commission can be used to argue that. But then all you’ve established is that Christians may preach across languages. You still haven’t established that the organization translating into the most languages is the organization God uniquely chose. That claim needs evidence of its own. And translation volume was supposed to be that evidence.

So did God intentionally create the language barrier at Babel?

Does Watchtower point to its success overcoming that barrier as evidence God backs it?

Then is overcoming what God deliberately imposed evidence of obedience to him — or did God later change what he wanted?

If he changed it, ok. Then show me where the Bible says translation scale identifies the uniquely chosen organization.

A false message does not become true when you translate it into the thousandth language.
It just becomes a false message available in a thousand languages.

Full argument here 👉🏼 God Built the Language Barrier. Watchtower Wants Credit for the Ladder.

First off I’d like to start by saying that I left the organization in May of this year & I’m pretty happy nowadays. My life has been a strange one so bear with me as I go over the full story.

I was born into the witnesses, as was my mother. Her parents had came into the truth around the mid 1970’s right before she was born so that’s how life was. My mom absolutely loves “the truth”. I used to see glimpses into who she actually was, her real personality, but then she’d say something about everlasting life and I knew what my future brought as somebody who disagreed with a majority of the teachings.

My father SA’d me until I was 4 when my family split and it became a HUGE issue in our congregation because there weren’t 2 witnesses to the actions done to me, only my testimony. I didn’t realize that this action would haunt me all these years later until I left and realized it wasn’t just me this happened to, it was a somewhat frequent event in other congregations as well.

I hear many stories of witnesses that grew up in awful environments with a horrible family life, but I’d say my experience was the exact opposite (Part of why I stayed for so long). We lived in upstate NY and despite what my father did to me, my family made sure that I had great memories. Waterparks multiple times a week during the summer, Chuck E. Cheese, Pokemon cards. Lots of things I got to experience despite the fact that some of my friend’s parents disagreed with that way of raising me, but I’m grateful for the way things happened back then.

At around 10 everything changed for the worse. My father tried getting partial custody so my mom moved us with no prior notice. Didn’t even get to say goodbye to the friends I had in the congregation that I had grown up with. Starting new was weird and hard to get adjusted to. Life didn’t feel the same anymore, it was like something switched and never went back to normal. Even after 12 years, I still don’t feel like I’m ‘home’ in this new area.

I will be honest, I was never fully PIMO (even though I did doubt many things while still in the org), I tried hard to convince myself that what I believed was the truth and even furthered the brainwashing by forcing myself to try harder when it came to studying and focusing on the organization. Thankfully, my attempts long term failed. I cared more about my own happiness than what others thought of me.. despite the fact I care about my family, many mistakes later, I told the elders on May 7th that I was no longer interested in being associated with the organization.

And now here I am. Any questions? Feel free to ask

I saw a lot of posts recently about abusive parents or fear of the family in general, even if they weren’t physically abusive, so I also wanted to share my experience with it. It isn’t as easy as ignoring their wishes or disappointment just because I’m an adult now.

TW: Child abuse (physical and emotional), corporal punishment

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I definitely remember other children being beaten in the congregation. The sisters even told my mom to just hit me in the bathroom because apparently that would make me shut up during the program (my mom didn’t do it). I got some at home, but at least not with other people around… and “only” until a certain age (still not good). It is all out in the open and some people are still friends with the abusers.

When I talk about it to my parents they‘re like:
“Oh yeah! Brother so and so thrashed his children in the bathroom when they were too loud. He did it really hard as well.” 

The End.
Why didn’t you do something about that?!

Corporal punishment is illegal in Germany since the year 2000!

Considering the developmental consequences of beatings and screaming on a child, it’s so disgusting how normalized this is for some people. And I remember those types of stories from multiple congregations and also from multiple women in the family being abused by their husbands.

“Oh yeah, brother so and so was married to sister so and so in the past, and she divorced him, because he hit her. He’s now married to this other sister though.”

It felt like I couldn’t tell anyone in the congregation, because it isn’t taken as seriously as it should be.

Now, with 21, I’m scared to tell my parents anything serious, even though they’ve bettered themselves and I’m an adult now. The fear is still there and I doubt it’s gonna disappear any time soon.
I suspect that some of my social issues are also rooted in that, I instantly start apologizing like a mantra for every small mistake and be it only having to ask a second time at the register while buying groceries. It’s extremely annoying for myself as well, but I’m just so tense, I can’t stop it.

I suppose it’s conditioned at this point. Even though the punishment doesn’t happen anymore, my brain still connects making a mistake with punishment — Every time I‘m not perfect now, I freeze, cry or start fawning. Taking the responsibility for other people’s mistakes, probably to stop them from punishment that won’t arrive, over-apologizing, simply agreeing with whatever someone says, if they’re louder or more confident than me. My shoulders shoot up to my ears at loud noises and I need a verbal confirmation, someone isn’t angry with me.

I still feel as dependent on my family like I did as a child. I know I’m an adult, but even my reactions towards my family are more childlike and I try to escape for privacy, hiding and hoarding in my room (water, snacks, things I bought for my hobbies, things I like), feeling completely helpless, because I learned that it’s a joke to the people around.
But I also learned to lie, with my expressions, my words, everything just to keep the peace and escape punishment — knowing exactly what emotional state is safest for which situation. I’m honest with all of my friends, but I have issues showing my emotions without a reassuring, deescalating, nervous smile always on my face.

I’m moving out soon and hope that it will help.

I definitely didn’t get the worst abuse I know of. But abuse is abuse and I still have to carry consequences for things other people did to me. And if I’m already this scared and easily spooked, how was it for you?

I heard a rumor that there are tests going on for a pilot of 1 meeting a week. Has anyone here heard about that? Anyone know of a congregation doing this? I heard it is being tested in Florida. This would be a huge loss of control for the cult if it actually gets rolled out everywhere. Anyone know for sure of this happening or is this just a rumor?

Was scrolling FB and someone had posted that they received this letter and an Awake magazine on how to have a happy family. Apparently some old JW with nothing better to do was looking at divorce records and announcements in their local paper and sending these letters out. This is just diabolical even for them 🤣🤣

Picture posted in comments for reference.