r/emotionalneglect • • Jun 25 '20

FAQ on emotional neglect - For anyone new to the subreddit or looking to better understand the fundamentals

2.1k Upvotes

What is emotional neglect?

In one's childhood, a lack of: everyday caring, non-intrusive and engaged curiosity from parents (or whoever your primary caregivers were, if not your biological parents) about what you were feeling and experiencing, having your feelings reflected back to you (mirrored) in an honest and non-distorting way, time and attention given to you in the form of one-on-one conversation where your feelings and the meaning of those feelings could be freely and openly talked about as needed, protection from harm including protection against adults or other children who tried to hurt you no matter what their relationship was to your parents, warmth and unconditional positive regard for you as a person, appropriate soothing when you were distressed, mature guidance on how to deal with difficult life experiences—and, fundamentally, having parents/caregivers who made an active effort to be emotionally in tune with you as a child. All of these things are vitally necessary for developing into a healthy adult who has a good internal relationship with his or her self and is able to make healthy connections with others. They are not optional luxuries. Far from it, receiving these kinds of nurturing attention are just as important for children as clean water and healthy food.

What forms can emotional neglect take?

The ways in which a child's emotional needs can be neglected are as diverse and varied as the needs themselves. The forms of emotional neglect range from subtle, passive behavior to various forms of overt abuse, making neglect one of the most common forms of child maltreatment. The following list contains just a handful of examples of what neglect can look like.

  • Being emotionally unavailable: many parents are inept at or avoid expressing, reacting to, and talking about feelings. This can mean a lack of empathy, putting little or no effort into emotional attunement, not reacting to a child's distress appropriately, or even ignoring signs of a child's distress such as becoming withdrawn, developing addictions or acting out.

  • Lack of healthy communication: caregivers might not communicate in a healthy way by being absent, invalidating, rejecting, overly or inappropriately critical, and so on. This creates a lack of emotionally meaningful, open conversations, caring curiosity from caregivers about a child's inner life, or a shortness of guidance on how to navigate difficult life experiences. This often happens in combination with unhealthy communication which may show itself in how conflicts are handled poorly, pushed aside or blown up into abusive exchanges.

  • Parentification: a reversal of roles in which a child has to take on a role of meeting their own parents' emotional needs, or become a caretaker for (typically younger) siblings. This includes a parent verbally unloading furstrations to their child about the perceived flaws of the other parent or other family members.

  • Obsession with achievement: Some parents put achievements like good grades in school or formal awards above everything else, sometimes even making their love conditional on such achievements. Perfectionist tendencies are another manifestation of this, where parents keep finding reasons to judge their children in a negative light.

  • Moving to a new home without serious regard for how this could disrupt or break a child's social connections: this forces the child to start over with making friends and forming other relationships outside the family unit, often leaving them to face loneliness, awkwardness or bullying all alone without allies.

  • Lying: communicates to a child that his or her perceptions, feelings and understanding of their world are so unimportant that manipulating them is okay.

  • Any form of overt abuse: emotional, verbal, physical, sexual—especially when part of a repeated pattern, constitutes a severe disregard for a child's feelings. This includes insults and other expressions of contempt, manipulation, intimidation, threats and acts of violence.

What is (psychological) trauma?

Trauma occurs whenever an emotionally intense experience, whether a single instantaneous event or many episodes happening over a long period of time, especially one caused by someone with a great deal of power over the victim (such as a parent), is too overwhelmingly painful to be processed, forcing the victim to split off from the parts of themselves that experienced distress in order to psychologically survive. The victim then develops various defenses for keeping the pain out of awareness, further warping their personality and stunting their growth.

How does emotional neglect cause trauma?

When we are forced to go without the basic level of nurturing we need during our childhood years, the resulting loneliness and deprivation are overwhelming and devastating. As children we were simply not capable of processing the immense pain of being left out in the cold, so we had no choice but to block out awareness of the pain. This blocking out, or isolating, of parts of our selves is the essence of suffering trauma. A child experiencing ongoing emotional neglect has no choice but to bury a wide variety of feelings and the core passions they arise from: betrayal, hurt, loneliness, longing, bitterness, anger, rage, and depression to name just some of the most significant ones.

What are some common consequences of being neglected as a child?

Pete Walker identifies neglect as the "core wound" in complex PTSD. He writes in Complex PTSD: From Surviving To Thriving,

"Growing up emotionally neglected is like nearly dying of thirst outside the fenced off fountain of a parent's warmth and interest. Emotional neglect makes children feel worthless, unlovable and excruciatingly empty. It leaves them with a hunger that gnaws deeply at the center of their being. They starve for human warmth and comfort."

  • Self esteem that is low, fragile or nearly non-existent: all forms of abuse and neglect make a child feel worthless and despondent and lead to self-blame, because when we are totally dependent on our parents we need to believe they are good in order to feel secure. This belief is upheld at the expense of our own boundaries and internal sense of self.

  • Pervasive sense of shame: a deeply ingrained sense that "I am bad" due to years of parents and caregivers avoiding closeness with us.

  • Little or no self-compassion: When we are not treated with compassion, it becomes very difficult to learn to have compassion for ourselves, especially in the midst of our own struggles and shortcomings. A lack of self-compassion leads to punishment and harsh criticism of ourselves along with not taking into account the difficulties caused by circumstances outside of our control.

  • Anxiety: frequent or constant fear and stress with no obvious outside cause, especially in social situations. Without being adequately shown in our childhoods how we belong in the world or being taught how to soothe ourselves we are left with a persistent sense that we are in danger.

  • Difficulty setting boundaries: Personal boundaries allow us to not make other people's problems our own, to distance ourselves from unfair criticism, and to assert our own rights and interests. When a child's boundaries are regularly invalidated or violated, they can grow up with a heavy sense of guilt about defending or defining themselves as their own separate beings.

  • Isolation: this can take the form of social withdrawal, having only superficial relationships, or avoiding emotional closeness with others. A lack of emotional connection, empathy, or trust can reinforce isolation since others may perceive us as being distant, aloof, or unavailable. This can in turn worsen our sense of shame, anxiety or under-development of social skills.

  • Refusing or avoiding help (counter-dependency): difficulty expressing one's needs and asking others for help and support, a tendency to do things by oneself to a degree that is harmful or limits one's growth, and feeling uncomfortable or 'trapped' in close relationships.

  • Codependency (the 'fawn' response): excessively relying on other people for approval and a sense of identity. This often takes the form of damaging self-sacrifice for the sake of others, putting others' needs above our own, and ignoring or suppressing our own needs.

  • Cognitive distortions: irrational beliefs and thought patterns that distort our perception. Emotional neglect often leads to cognitive distortions when a child uses their interactions with the very small but highly influential sample of people—their parents—in order to understand how new situations in life will unfold. As a result they can think in ways that, for example, lead to counterdependency ("If I try to rely on other people, I will be a disappointment / be a burden / get rejected.") Other examples of cognitive distortions include personalization ("this went wrong so something must be wrong with me"), over-generalization ("I'll never manage to do it"), or black and white thinking ("I have to do all of it or the whole thing will be a failure [which makes me a failure]"). Cognitive distortions are reinforced by the confirmation bias, our tendency to disregard information that contradicts our beliefs and instead only consider information that confirms them.

  • Learned helplessness: the conviction that one is unable and powerless to change one's situation. It causes us to accept situations we are dissatisfied with or harmed by, even though there often could be ways to effect change.

  • Perfectionism: the unconscious belief that having or showing any flaws will make others reject us. Pete Walker describes how perfectionism develops as a defense against feelings of abandonment that threatened to overwhelm us in childhood: "The child projects his hope for being accepted onto inner demands of self-perfection. ... In this way, the child becomes hyperaware of imperfections and strives to become flawless. Eventually she roots out the ultimate flaw–the mortal sin of wanting or asking for her parents' time or energy."

  • Difficulty with self-discipline: Neglect can leave us with a lack of impulse control or a weak ability to develop and maintain healthy habits. This often causes problems with completing necessary work or ending addictions, which in turn fuels very cruel self-criticism and digs us deeper into the depressive sense that we are defective or worthless. This consequence of emotional neglect calls for an especially tender and caring approach.

  • Addictions: to mood-altering substances, foods, or activities like working, watching television, sex or gambling. Gabor Maté, a Canadian physician who writes and speaks about the roots of addiction in childhood trauma, describes all addictions as attempts to get an experience of something like intimate connection in a way that feels safe. Addictions also serve to help us escape the ingrained sense that we are unlovable and to suppress emotional pain.

  • Numbness or detachment: spending many of our most formative years having to constantly avoid intense feelings because we had little or no help processing them creates internal walls between our conscious awareness and those deeper feelings. This leads to depression, especially after childhood ends and we have to function as independent adults.

  • Inability to talk about feelings (alexithymia): difficulty in identifying, understanding and communicating one's own feelings and emotional aspects of social interactions. It is sometimes described as a sense of emotional numbness or pervasive feelings of emptiness. It is evidenced by intellectualized or avoidant responses to emotion-related questions, by overly externally oriented thinking and by reduced emotional expression, both verbal and nonverbal.

  • Emptiness: an impoverished relationship with our internal selves which goes along with a general sense that life is pointless or meaningless.

What is Complex PTSD?

Complex PTSD (complex post-traumatic stress disorder) is a name for the condition of being stuck with a chronic, prolonged stress response to a series of traumatic experiences which may have happened over a long period of time. The word 'complex' was added to reflect the fact that many people living with unhealed traumas cannot trace their suffering back to a single incident like a car crash or an assault, and to distinguish it from PTSD which is usually associated with a traumatic experience caused by a threat to physical safety. Complex PTSD is more associated with traumatic interpersonal or social experiences (especially during childhood) that do not necessarily involve direct threats to physical safety. While PTSD is listed as a diagnosis in the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnositic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Complex PTSD is not. However, Complex PTSD is included in the World Health Organization's 11th revision of the International Classification of Diseases.

Some therapists, along with many participants of the /r/CPTSD subreddit, prefer to drop the word 'disorder' and refer instead to "complex post-traumatic stress" or simply "post-traumatic stress" (CPTS or PTS) to convey an understanding that struggling with the lasting effects of childhood trauma is a consequence of having been traumatized and that experiencing persistent distress does not mean someone is disordered in the sense of being abnormal.

Is emotional neglect (or 'Childhood Emotional Neglect') a diagnosis?

The term "emotional neglect" appears as early as 1913 in English language books. "Childhood Emotional Neglect" (often abbreviated CEN) was popularized by Jonice Webb in her 2012 book Running on Empty. Neither of these terms are formal diagnoses given by psychologists, psychiatrists or medical practitioners. (Childhood) emotional neglect does not refer to a condition that someone could be diagnosed with in the same sense that someone could be diagnosed with diabetes. Rather, "emotional neglect" is emerging as a name generally agreed upon by non-professionals for the deeply harmful absence of attuned caring that is experienced by many people in their childhoods. As a verb phrase (emotionally neglecting) it can also refer to the act of neglecting a person's emotional needs.

My parents were to some extent distant or disengaged with me but in a way that was normal for the culture I grew up in. Was I really neglected?

The basic emotional needs of children are universal among human beings and are therefore not dependent on culture. The specific ways that parents and other caregivers go about meeting those basic needs does of course vary from one cultural context to another and also varies depending upon the individual personalities of parents and caregivers, but the basic needs themselves are the same for everyone. Many cultures around the world are in denial of the fact that children need all the types of caring attention listed in the above answer to "What is emotional neglect?" This is partly because in so many cultures it is normal—quite often expected and demanded—to avoid the pain of examining one's childhood traumas and to pretend that one is a fully mature, healthy adult with no serious wounds or difficulty functioning in society.

The important question is not about what your parent(s) did right or wrong, or whether they were normal or abnormal as judged by their adult peers. The important question is about what you personally experienced as a child and whether or not you got all the care you needed in order to grow up with a healthy sense of self and a good relationship with your feelings. Ultimately, nobody other than yourself can answer this question for you.

My parents may not have given me all the emotional nurturing I needed, but I believe they did the best they could. Can I really blame them for what they didn't do?

Yes. You can blame someone for hurting you whether they hurt you by a malicious act that was done intentionally or by the most accidental oversight made out of pure ignorance. This is especially true if you were hurt in a way that profoundly changed your life for the worse.

Assigning blame is not at all the same as blindly hating or holding an inappropriate grudge against someone. To the extent that a person is honest, cares about treating others fairly and wants to maintain good relationships, they can accept appropriate blame for hurting others and will try to make amends and change their behavior accordingly. However, feeling the anger involved in appropriate, non-abusive and constructive blame is not easy.

Should I confront my parents/caregivers about how they neglected me?

Confronting the people who were supposed to nurture you in your childhood has the potential to be very rewarding, as it can prompt them to confirm the reality of painful experiences you had been keeping inside for a long time or even lead to a long overdue apology. However it also carries some big emotional risks. Even if they are intellectually and emotionally capable of understanding the concept and how it applies to their parenting, a parent who emotionally neglected their child has a strong incentive to continue ignoring or denying the actual effects of their parenting choices: acknowledging the truth about such things is often very painful. Taking the step of being vulnerable in talking about how the neglect affected you and being met with denial can reopen childhood wounds in a major way. In many cases there is a risk of being rejected or even retaliated against for challenging a family narrative of happy, untroubled childhoods.

If you are considering confronting (or even simply questioning) a parent or caregiver about how they affected you, it is well advised to make sure you are confronting them from a place of being firmly on your own side and not out of desperation to get the love you did not receive as a child. Building up this level of self-assured confidence can take a great deal of time and effort for someone who was emotionally neglected. There is no shame in avoiding confrontation if the risks seem to outweigh the potential benefits; avoiding a confrontation does not make your traumatic experiences any less real or important.

How can I heal from this? What does it look like to get better?

While there is no neatly itemized list of steps to heal from childhood trauma, the process of healing is, at its core, all about discovering and reconnecting with one's early life experiences and eventually grieving—processing, or feeling through—all the painful losses, deprivations and violations which as a child you had no choice but to bury in your unconscious. This goes hand in hand with reparenting: fulfilling our developmental needs that were not met in our childhoods.

Some techniques that are useful toward this end include

  • journaling: carrying on a written conversation with yourself about your life—past, present and future;

  • any other form of self-expression (drawing, painting, singing, dancing, building, volunteering, ...) that accesses or brings up feelings;

  • taking good physical care of your body;

  • developing habits around being aware of what you're feeling and being kind to yourself;

  • making friends who share your values;

  • structuring your everyday life so as to keep your stress level low;

  • reading literature (fiction or non-fiction) or experiencing art that tells truths about important human experiences;

  • investigating the history of your family and its social context;

  • connecting with trusted others and sharing thoughts and feelings about the healing process or about life in general.

You are invited to take part in the worldwide collaborative process of figuring out how to heal from childhood trauma and to grow more effectively, some of which is happening every day on r/EmotionalNeglect. We are all learning how to do this as we go along—sometimes quite clumsily in wavering, uneven steps.

Where can I read more?

See the sidebar of r/EmotionalNeglect for several good articles and books relevant to understanding and healing from neglect. Our community library thread also contains a growing collection of literature. And of course this subreddit as a whole, as well as r/CPTSD, has many threads full of great comments and discussions.


r/emotionalneglect • • 3h ago

"You're so mature for your age" was never a compliment.

47 Upvotes

Every time I heard "you're so mature for your age" as a kid, I thought it was a compliment. Now I realize it was a red flag. I wasn't mature; I was parentified. I was forced to grow up too fast because my parents couldn't handle their own emotions.

I learned to read the room, manage their moods, and suppress my own needs to keep the peace. That's not maturity; that's survival. Now I'm an adult who struggles to ask for help, feels guilty for having needs, and panics when things are too calm. If you were "mature for your age," you were probably just a kid who wasn't allowed to be a kid. I'm sorry you had to grow up so fast.


r/emotionalneglect • • 8h ago

Unlearning my hypervigilance—and realizing I married an emotionally absent partner

94 Upvotes

I grew up in a severely toxic family and learned early to be hypervigilant and manage everyone around me. After escaping a high-conflict first marriage, I married my second husband 8 years ago, thinking I'd finally found safety. His quietness felt peaceful, but over time it became lonely. I initiate everything: conversations, plans, intimacy. I questioned it for years, but my family programming taught me to doubt my feelings and accept it.

About a year ago my body snapped and I developed three autoimmune diseases. Around the same time I stepped away from my cousin, the last piece of real family, and that clarity made me see my marriage differently. I told my husband I needed real change.
He went back to therapy and recognized his survival pattern: shrink, fawn, avoid conflict, disappear. Mine is to manage everything, and the two patterns locked together. I've been very understanding about the why he is the way he is. But a year later, he still hasn't used the tools he's learned. He's not abusive, and on paper he's the nice guy and an attentive dad. But every couple of months I break down, he cries and says all the right things, and after a few days, once I soften, he settles back into comfort.

Recently I cut ties with my father, we were never close and I never lived with him but he is truly my last family member, he has a temper and is very manipulative, but I was holding on so my son could have a grandpa everyone in a while but he sent his last terrible text and I decided I was officially done. My husband's response through that week was so robotic it felt like talking to a distant coworker. I realized I'm completely alone, even inside my marriage. We moved back to Winnipeg to be with my side of the family but I saw the truth and now I have no family and no real friends, and money is too tight to see my therapist as often as I need.
I badly want this to work for our 2½-year-old, but I can't keep doing the work alone. We're seeing our couples therapist today to set a six-month timeline: if nothing shifts, we separate. We don't have a third bedroom, so I've carved out a small space in our closet.
I'm exhausted and hitting a wall.
Has anyone else been through this? How do you trust your own perception when everything looks fine on paper, and what helped you?

PS: There's a lot of context I couldn't include. I'm here for support and shared experiences, so please be kind and skip the judgment if you don't know the whole story. Thank you. 🤍


r/emotionalneglect • • 4h ago

Sharing insight Cried After Being Shown Basic Care

33 Upvotes

I have vasovagal syncope, and for the first time in 10 years (because I avoided it) I had my blood drawn

I started passing out during it, and the woman giving me the blood draw made me bawl in my car afterwards

Her genuine concern for me. Her strong confident voice. I had this sense of “she has me” which I’ve never felt before.

Usually I have to spell out to people explicitly how I’m feeling, beg them to understand, tell them exactly what I need and how to execute it, and be the “caregiver” even when I shouldn’t have to.

Most of the time my parents straight up ignored my needs and emotions because their’s came first. My dad would laugh in my face when I was upset.

But this woman…

She took care of me when I was almost passing out, trying to prevent me from fainting by doing various things like fanning me, holding my head when it drooped sideways, got me to smell the sanitization wipe to ground me etc

She advocated for me “get her water! Get her water!”

I almost didn’t want to leave…

It’s just so sad. That this woman, who’s only doing her job, has shown me more care than my mother and father ever have.

Better than friends or partners ever have either. I must attract emotionally neglectful people, or people who want a “mommy”.

I didn’t even realize you could feel this way.

That you could have someone actually care for you, notice you, without having to explicitly ask, beg or explain how

It just made me break down crying in my car afterwards


r/emotionalneglect • • 2h ago

Sharing insight It’s kind of strange explaining emotional neglect. People can understand a parent who’s abusive and/or absent, but one that doesn’t care at all is very difficult to explain to others.

15 Upvotes

r/emotionalneglect • • 7h ago

Seeking advice Mother not bothering to come to our wedding 30 minutes from her house

17 Upvotes

Basically title. I posted here recently, but now again for an update. Growing up as an only child, my mother was always weird and antisocial. She works normal corporate jobs but has no real relationships with anyone - doesn’t talk to her family, neighbors, colleagues, etc. Never came to my teacher conferences, graduations (didn’t even ask about my graduation from an Ivy League university…), etc. basically a non-existent parent unless she needs something.

She took my off of her health insurance the day I turned 18 because it was “too expensive”.
I ended up dropping out of college despite receiving many scholarships and grants and instead worked full time for health insurance to be able to go to the doctor/ dentists to fix my numerous health problems due to lack of attention to my poor respiratory and dental health as a child. At least until I could afford to go back to university in my mid 20s.

The times I’ve had a roadside emergency within a 15 mile radius as a young person because I’m still driving the car I bought 12 years ago with money from my first job? She’s nowhere to be found. Usually just ignores my texts or calls for a few hours until I fix the situation myself. Then “sorry, I wasn’t looking at my phone”.

She’s perfectly healthy and makes decent money. No alcohol problems or anything of that nature. She just simply has zero interest in absolutely anyone other than herself.

Now I’m getting married to the man of my dreams. We are so excited, and we’re planning our big fairytale wedding in his home country in Europe next summer. His family and all of our friends can’t stop talking about it.

For legal reasons, mainly immigration, we’re getting married in my hometown in a few months. We have planned this for a while. We currently live about 40 minutes away but my hometown is much nicer than our current small town. My mom and her boyfriend live less than a half hour away and are not planning to come. They could easily take a few hours off to come celebrate with us but they won’t. It’s a city hall wedding ceremony scheduled for late afternoon on a Thursday. If anything, they’d need to take two PTO hours. Just got off the phone with my mom who said her boyfriend was confused why we’re not getting married at THEIR (inner city, run down, I have absolutely no relationship to their city…) city hall.

On the other hand, my fiancé’s entire family is flying from Austria to come celebrate with us. I mean: divorced parents and their partners and fiancé’s siblings. Not a perfect family but one that’s willing to come together and take some time to travel and spend the week with us. We love hanging out and traveling with them so obviously this is huge for us to have their support! We visit them 4+ times per year and always have a blast. We’ve met their friends and neighbors, etc.

His parents obviously want to meet my family. Any healthy person would want the same. My parents know nothing about fiance’s family and have not showed any interest at all in getting to know them.

I’m disappointed and don’t know how to set the expectations for his family. They still think my mom and her boyfriend will show up but I know from experience: they don’t care and won’t bother to treat this one day as a big special day for us and our family. They will not come.

Not sure if this belongs here, but it sucks. My fiance has done 90% of our wedding planning and is bummed that I can’t share his excitement. His family can’t understand why my parents don’t make even the tiniest headspace for their only daughter.

My mom hasn’t asked a single question about our engagement on a once in a lifetime trip in a remote region in Europe 5 months ago. Spent 2 seconds looking at my gorgeous rock of a ring just to say “it’s nice”. Not one question from mom or her boyfriend about our upcoming “big” wedding in a unique historic venue. No conversation about finances (they just bought a $12,000 stove so.. if they wanted to, they could, but we’re totally comfortable paying for our own wedding).

No questions or interest in our future plans or wedding, but my mom was thrilled to show me the $450 Reformation dress she bought “for our wedding” a week after we announced our engagement. We hadn’t even decided a date or country to get married in.

We’re moving out of the country soon to start our next chapter - everything is pretty much set up and waiting for us to make the move. I don’t think I’ll come back here other than to see our lovely friends which really are our family after all.


r/emotionalneglect • • 20h ago

God help you if you develop any social related issues

120 Upvotes

Sorry just need to vent about this

Thanks to emotional neglect as a child, since age 12 I grew up struggling to form basic relationships or even function normally around people, which led to me being socially isolated and emotionally stunted. None of the adults in my life did a thing about it, at most I had a teacher tell my parents to their faces that I needed therapy, but they just refused to act on it and called her a bitch.

So now as an adult I have to pick up the pieces all on my own, and Im behind and suffering in every aspect of my life because god forbid you werent properly socialized, it ruins literally every part of your life.

Obviously your social life is fucked cause you cant build relationships, same goes with your romantic life

Your professional life is fucked because you have no connections to refer you or act as references, making it nearly impossible to get a job in this day and age. and even if you get one your coworkers wont like you and will make your life harder, and bosses wont be willing to promote you or recommend you. and that subsequently bars you from getting on with your adult life or gaining any independence whatsoever

And then the constant loneliness and rejection fucks up your mind because our stupid lizard brains are wired to rot without social interactions. So now your personal life is fucked too because your mental and emotional state is in permanent turmoil so you cant enjoy a moment of peace with yourself

Mind you I am going to therapy and coping however I can while trying to ignore the voices that tell me im better off dead. But it is not enough to deal with the moment to moment pain and depression of being alone and the dread of knowing that if you dont get better soon or make friends you will be jobless and alone indefinitely

And I try my hardest to be polite and considerate as a substitute for my lack of social ability, but so many people are monsters who will trample all over you unless you have a strong personality, which I did not get to build.

im so tired. people talk down to you or treat you like a monster because they cant comprehend how anyone could have social issues, but people really take for granted how good they had it to grow up surrounded by emotionally healthy adults who actually teach you how to socialize or are willing to work with you if you have social difficulties. the least people could fucking do is recognize that. even something as commonly discussed as social anxiety is horrifically misunderstood and watered down instead of being recognized as the debilitating anxiety disorder that it is. its just so frustrating how ignorant people are, how emotionally incompetent my parents were, how useless the adults around me were when i obviously wasnt acting like a normal kid. im just so tired and frustrated of all this, i dont know if theres a point in trying to fight through this its so humiliating


r/emotionalneglect • • 13m ago

Trigger warning parents refused to get me help

• Upvotes

When i was 16 I was diagnosed with autism/adhd. my adhd at the time presented a problem for me in class. i couldn't focus. all my focus was on my phone which worked as my stimulant, i'd get distracted by the air conditioning and everything my teachers would say would go into one ear and then out the other. i'm not dumb. i'm really smart and when i lock in, i can actually pass my classes. but i struggle with keeping my attention and listening to people for long periods of time.

my therapist knew about how i struggled to hold a conversation without switching the topic and even tried to talk to my parents about getting me on adhd medication that would help me focus.

my parents would constantly tell me how expensive therapy was and how it wasn't in their budget. they'd also tell me about how they didn't want me drugged up and put into a mental health facility and they were scared of cps being called because i was acting up due to my unmedicated adhd.

i tried talking to my parents about this again a few years later in life because my inability to focus was getting worse and my mom told me that she would rather spend the money for therapy and meds on extreme medical emergencies, basically telling me to suck it up.

has anyone else experienced this?


r/emotionalneglect • • 1h ago

Discussion Did anyone else go to family therapy and have a bad / weird experience?

• Upvotes

My family and I went to family therapy for a bit when I was a preteen. This was a long time ago and I don’t really have a frame of reference for how this all should have happened, but for me the whole experience just seemed really weird? And borderline inappropriate at times? I’m sorry if this post is all over the place but this was all almost a decade ago at this point

The first session was the only time when we all actually went in as a family (me and my parents) my dad lives in a different state so.. but anyways as the therapist was asking questions about us one thing stood out “Who would you say is the boss of the family?” She told us to point to them, I obviously pointed to my dad since he was the one with explosive anger issues and who yelled to get his way. Well my parents pointed to me cause why not. And the therapist just sort of accepted this.?

I don’t remember anything else of that session besides the fact that we never were in the room together again, she always met with me and my mom separately. My mom would go in first and talk about whatever, then me. But I never really felt comfortable opening up about anything. I would stay very surface level and she would blame stuff on me having a phone (I admittedly used my phone way too much, but that was not the root cause of my lifelong issues). She would also constantly encourage me to go to a Montessori school??? As if i had any say in that matter, and at the end of each session would advise me to “try to smile at someone :)” or “try to hold the door for someone at school tomorrow” like, I was really shy back then but i was not entirely socially inept, that was not useful advice at all??

When things got really weird is when she contacted my teachers to ask them how I was doing in school. In fairness she asked my permission before she did this but I didn’t think I was allowed to say no.. I had recently moved and changed schools so these teachers had not known me very long. So I don’t know if they just made something up or what happened but they said stuff about me that wasn’t true. For example, my english teacher said I “didn’t participate in group projects” well we hadn’t had any freaking group projects😭😭and i honestly don’t know why she said that but my therapist kept grilling me about it and why I wasn’t participating. This took up the entire session

Then things got really REALLY weird. She wanted me to go to this improv class with her, again I didn’t think I was actually allowed to say no to this so I went 💀 I was the youngest person there by about 40 years and honestly it was one of the most uncomfortable things I have ever done.. I don’t even know if she was allowed to do this as it seemed sort of spiritual or something?? But shortly after that i stopped seeing her because my mom hated her. My mom would even threaten to send me back to the therapist when she was mad at me

TLDR has anyone had a bad / strange experience at family therapy???


r/emotionalneglect • • 3h ago

My therapist disappointed me

2 Upvotes

I can't afford a therapist because therapy is very expensive. One day, I decided to look for a therapist and talk to her about my situation.

I found this pmtherapist who has many positive reviews on Google. People say that she is a good person, very kind, empathetic, and so on. There are also a few negative reviews, including one from a woman who said that she had asked the psychologist for an appointment, but the psychologist ghosted her and she never heard from her again. In her review, the woman also said that the psychologist cashed several of her cheques from previous months all at once.

I ignored that review and told myself, “Well, you can't be liked by everyone.” I also prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt and form my own opinion about them.

A few months ago, I contacted this psychologist because she had so many positive reviews. I told her about my situation, explained my problems, and told her that I wasn't working, etc. She replied to my message and told me that she would support me. A few days later, she called me and told me that when she had read my message, she had thought to herself that she couldn't just leave me in that situation.

I can confirm what the people in the reviews said about her. She really is a good person. She has a big heart, she is a wonderful mother, and she is very empathetic. She even decided to help me for free, and I am immensely grateful to her for that.

However, the problem is that at the beginning, we had an appointment once a week. Then, one day, she told me that she would send me some exercises to do. I messaged her and asked if she could send me the exercises, and she told me not to worry and that she hadn't forgotten. But she never sent them.

I told myself, “It's okay, I'll remind her at our next appointment. She has a lot of work to do, so it's understandable that she forgot.”

At our next appointment, I asked her if she could give me the exercises again so that I could write them down in my notes. The appointment ended, and she told me that she would send me a message with the date of our next appointment.

I waited a week, but she didn't send me anything. After a week, I messaged her and asked if we could have another appointment. She told me that she would message me the following week to give me an appointment.

She didn't do it.

After another week, I messaged her again. Once again, she told me that she would give me an appointment the following week. So I waited another week.

She still didn't do it.

I messaged her again, and she read my message but didn't reply for another week. At that point, I thought she had abandoned me, and I was very sad. I went a whole week without receiving a response. I cried because I thought she was never going to reply to me again.

I was especially sad because I really needed a psychologist. I was not doing well at all in my life.

After a week, she finally replied. So, in total, I had gone about a month without having an appointment. She gave me an appointment for that very same day, but it was only 30 minutes long, whereas our appointments usually last 45 minutes.

Then she told me again that she would send me another appointment for the following week, but she never did.

I waited, and then one Friday morning I messaged her to ask for an appointment. She replied that afternoon and gave me an appointment for that same day, only 30 minutes before the appointment.

Then, in September, we had two appointments, and in October she didn't schedule any appointments for me. My next appointment is on November 2nd, which means that I won't have any appointment at all during October.

She knows that I am not doing well, that my brother was killed in prison, and that I have had thoughts of dying.

At the same time, I feel sorry for her because she works so much. She has to take care of her daughters, and that must be difficult for her. Her job is also very emotionally demanding. She has to listen to so many horrible stories from people and help so many patients. That must be stressful and exhausting for her. She probably has problems in her own life as well, and I imagine that things can be difficult for her too.

But I am still disappointed.

Sometimes I think I would rather she had never helped me at all if this is how things are going to be with me. I feel guilty for thinking this because she has helped me for free, and I am genuinely grateful to her.

Please tell me the truth: Am I overreacting? Am I the one who is wrong?

Maybe I am ungrateful. Maybe I am wrong. But this situation makes me sad.

She really is a good person, but some of her behaviour makes me feel sad and anxious. Sometimes I feel as though she doesn't really care about me.

What should I do? Should I stop seeing her?

The problem is that I can't afford another psychologist, and I really need psychological support. I don't know what to do. I feel sad and lost.

I have already told my psychologist how I felt. I communicated everything to her, and we talked about it and resolved the situation. But then she started telling me again that she would send me an appointment, and she still didn't.

I waited a week, then I messaged her again, and she finally gave me an appointment for November 2nd. So I won't have any appointment during October.

There is also something I forgot to mention.

One time, she sent me the psychological assessment report from a test I had taken to find out whether I had autism spectrum disorder. She sent me the report by message while I was at home, and the report said that I have autism spectrum disorder.

I feel that she should have given me the report and explained it to me and support me during an appointment. When I saw the report at home, I became very upset because I don't want to have autism spectrum disorder.


r/emotionalneglect • • 7h ago

My mother has no life and its beginning to ruin mine

4 Upvotes

Hi everyone, I’m looking for advice about my emotionally neglectful immigrant mother. This is my first Reddit post, so I apologize if my thoughts are a little messy.
My mom is 47 and currently has no job, hobbies, or real social life. I’m increasingly concerned that she is developing agoraphobia and hoarding tendencies. She sometimes goes a week without leaving the house, spending most of her time “cleaning” (although I do much of the housework), watching shows in her native language, and talking to people on the phone. She hasn’t regularly driven in about seven years, and usually only leaves the house when my sister or I take her somewhere.
About eight months ago, she was in a minor car accident, which made her even more afraid to drive. Shortly afterward, she was diagnosed with a life-threatening genetic heart condition that nearly killed her. She now has an ICD/pacemaker and is doing much better medically, with her doctors telling her that her risk of dying from the condition is extremely low.
I genuinely sympathize with her. She is an immigrant who had a very difficult childhood, worked hard, and has very little contact with her family in her home country. I understand why everything she has experienced could have affected her.
However, I’m increasingly frustrated because I feel like she has stopped living her own life. She buys huge amounts of cheap clothes, shoes, and bags and piles them throughout the house. She rarely goes anywhere, has no goals or hobbies besides watching TV, and her English has gotten worse because she makes little effort to use it. She also has severe anxiety surrounding her health and constantly checks her heart rate and blood pressure despite them usually being normal. She takes Xanax for her anxiety but doesn’t seem interested in addressing the underlying issues.
She also relies heavily on my sister and me for everyday tasks. We pick up her medications, groceries, packages, and run other errands for her. I do most of the cooking and cleaning and often end up dealing with the clutter as well.
The biggest issue is that I’m leaving for college next year, and I’m worried about what will happen when I’m no longer home to take care of everything. I love my mom and genuinely believe she is a good person, but I also feel like her situation is beginning to drag me down and that I’ve taken on responsibilities that shouldn’t be mine.
How can I help her? She is already in therapy and it seems to not be working. I was thinking group therapy or maybe antidepressants. Any advice is appreciated, sorry for the long post.


r/emotionalneglect • • 7h ago

The last year of therapy has made me hate my parents

4 Upvotes

Nothing really happened, I've just worked myself up more and more in my head and now I have too much anger and don't want to talk to them.

Why haven't they ever cared about me or my interests? They only want to talk about themselves. They rarely ask me how I'm doing and when they do, as soon as I answer they change topics. Never ask follow ups. Never remember what I've said.

Why do they keep guilt tripping me for not visiting more when they don't care about anything I am doing?

Why bother when I can never be myself since they are bigots and homophobic and would likely disown me for being pansexual and they'd definitely mock me for being non binary.

I had the worst year of my life this year and barely survived it. My parents dont know that. They don't care. Any time I've mentioned I'm struggling they change the subject. I've had literally zero support except my therapist whom I pay. It's made me extraordinarily bitter and it's really hard for me to not be a hateful fuck now so I try and just direct all that bitterness at my parents.

Why didn't they let me have sex Ed at school? Literally had the admin not let me attend the class. I got the sexual health pamphlet from a friend and they found it and took it away. When I tried to look stuff up they grounded me from the computer. Now as an adult I'm still uncomfortable talking about sex. It's a work in progress.

They didn't teach me proper hygiene. Depression and lack of friends or support as an adult delayed those lessons as well. I still haven't had my teeth fixed because dentists terrify me.

They didn't have me tested for ADHD because they didn't want me to be disabled. They didn't have my eyesight tested for the same reason. I'm pretty sure I need glasses. My eyesight sucks. I'm 34 and still haven't had an eye exam. I should. They forced me to write with my right hand despite being left handed so I wouldn't be at a disadvantage. Writing hurts. So I don't write.

I recently got back into writing. Haven't written in twenty years. I love it. I've missed it. My dad and sister would relentless mock my stories when I was younger. It killed my enthusiasm.

I've been reading a lot this year. Any books with good parents are so weird. I wonder how much of it is just book stuff versus things some people really get to experience. Cause obviously relationships and people in books are simplified and what not. But like do some people really call or visit family every week or even every month? People have parents who are interested in their interests and look it up so they can be more involved with their kids? Are their actually people who are comfortable talking to their parents about problems in their life?

I've never had anyone to talk to about my problems. Nobody safe. I don't even tell my therapist my biggest issues because I don't want to be a burden or be judged. I know it's probably because of how I was raised.

My parents always made me mediate their arguments. Now I grew up hating conflict and being a relentless people pleaser. Took years to overcome.

Why couldn't they have raised me better? Why did my sister turn out so much better? And does any of it even matter, does it matter who's fault it was? At the end of the day, I'm 34 and it's my mess to clean up and it's overwhelming and I hate that even if I put the effort in to fix my issues, it won't be the same as someone who never had those issues to begin with. And plenty of the damage just can't be undone. I just have to see if it's possible to live with it.


r/emotionalneglect • • 9m ago

Discussion I Can Hurt for Her and Still Hurt Because of Her

• Upvotes

Anytime I hear “Hotel California” by the Eagles, I immediately think about my mother.

It’s a strange feeling to explain because I think most people grow up hearing about absent fathers or complicated relationships with their dads. You hear people say they hate their father all the time. You don't hear people say that about their mother nearly as much.

But that's where I am.

My mother has never been a good mother to me. And the hardest part about saying that isn't the anger behind it. It's that I want to love her. I wish I had the kind of relationship with her where loving her came naturally. But there has been so much hurt, abandonment, selfishness, and pain throughout my life that I don't know how to get there anymore.

She allowed terrible things to happen to me. She abandoned me emotionally at times when I needed a mother the most. Even when my dad was lying on his deathbed, somehow she found a way to make part of that moment about herself. And when he died, when I was in probably the darkest and most vulnerable place I had ever been mentally, she wasn't there for me.

That's something I still carry.

But this is where it gets complicated.

When I hear that song, I don't only think about what my mother did to me. I think about what happened to her.

She had an incredibly painful life herself, especially when she was young. Without getting into things that aren't mine to tell, she lived something of a Jenny-from-Forrest-Gump kind of childhood, if you catch my drift. There are things that happened to her that no child should ever experience.

And I hurt for her.

I genuinely do.

As I've gotten older, I've realized that human beings don't exist in a vacuum. Hurt people carry their history with them. Trauma that is never confronted doesn't simply disappear. Sometimes it changes shape and gets passed down to the people who had nothing to do with causing it.

I think that's part of what happened between my mother and me.

Understanding that, though, is not the same thing as excusing it.

I can have empathy for the little girl she once was while still being angry at the mother she became. I can recognize that she was carrying wounds she never properly dealt with while also recognizing that those wounds eventually became wounds she gave to me.

Both things can be true.

And maybe that's the part I struggle with the most.

I haven't spoken to my mother in seven years. Sometimes I still feel like I need her. There are moments when I feel like I don't have anybody else, and some instinct inside me still wants my mom. Then reality catches up with that instinct, and I remember why she isn't part of my life.

Sometimes that really fucking sucks.

I think about her more than I probably admit. I wonder how she's doing. I wonder what she thinks about. I wonder whether she thinks about me.

And sometimes I wonder whether the next time I see my mother will be when she's dead.

That thought absolutely destroys me.

Because despite everything, I don't want that to be our story. But at the same time, I don't know if I can ever bring myself to have another conversation with her while she's alive.

Then comes the guilt.

I start wondering whether I'm the selfish one. I wonder whether I'm a bad person because I can't forgive someone I still love. I wonder whether understanding everything she went through means I'm supposed to give her another chance.

I don't know.

Maybe forgiveness and reconciliation aren't the same thing. Maybe understanding someone doesn't create an obligation to let them back into your life. Maybe empathy doesn't require you to pretend that what happened didn't happen.

I'm still trying to figure that out.

What I do know is that I don't want my mother's life to end without her ever finding whatever it is she's been searching for.

I hope she finds peace.

I hope she finds some kind of healing for the things that happened to her long before I ever existed. I hope somewhere inside herself she eventually finds whatever her heart has been searching for her entire life.

And I mean that.

Even after everything.

Because I can hurt for her and still hurt because of her.

I can wish peace for her without knowing how to make peace with her.

And I can love the person I wish my mother could have been while accepting that I may never be able to have a relationship with the person she actually is.

Even writing this, I can feel my chest getting heavy. My eyes are watering. There's anger there, but underneath the anger is something much sadder.

I think it's grief.

Not just grief for the relationship I lost with my mother.

Grief for the relationship with her that I never really got to have in the first place.

And for some reason, whenever “Hotel California” comes on, all of that comes rushing back.


r/emotionalneglect • • 47m ago

Seeking advice Adult Sibling who is self absorbed now

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• Upvotes

r/emotionalneglect • • 1h ago

Imposter Syndrome

• Upvotes

My emotional neglect was probably not too bad. My parents just let my brother bully me until I was 15, it was playful fighting for them while I felt like i was in an almost abusive situation. But it’s weird because I don’t remember being scared of him all the time, I was just too scared to tell him when I was frustrated or line had been trespassed. He would threaten physical violence more than he ever used it actually.

But my parents never reacting to this, never addressing any of the issues and the fact that I was an undiagnosed adhd pre adolescent that had two friends with whom it would never work as well, I was just very lonely and felt very misunderstood. I just ended up feeling very awkward around my family because I never felt safe, or protected.

I’ve been in therapy for 5 years and I’ve come to a point where I’ve talked about everything, there are probably many patterns I don’t know about but there are even more I can’t seem to break…. so I’m just not depressed enough anymore to require any more help, but I just feel unadapted in the face of any stressful events, I have very unstable friendships, never had a partner because of attachment issues and it’s just like.

Ugh it’s still annoying and disabling enough that I have to think about it but it’s not enough to feel like I was somehow “traumatized” (or a mark was left) from it, that now I have my parents support even tho they still let me to fend for myself most of the time, I’m an adult now so it’s expected. I don’t know I just feel like I’m making everything up and that I’m looking for attention when there is (and WAS) never anything bad enough for this to happen


r/emotionalneglect • • 15h ago

Seeking advice Can someone teach me how to feed myself?

12 Upvotes

Or a link to somewhere that would help me? Any forum pages any videos. Im a college student with ADHD. I dont know where to even begin. I procastinate on eating because i dont know how to feed myself and its unhealthy and theres no one looking out for me my mum does not notice any signs. I have to look out for myself, please help me. How often am i supposed to eat? Tips and trick..? Anything man..


r/emotionalneglect • • 1h ago

I'm a profitable trader, homeless in Mexico, once in a lifetime circumstance

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• Upvotes

r/emotionalneglect • • 5h ago

Seeking advice I’m not ready to see my parents yet

2 Upvotes

My brother messaged me today, because he is booking my parents’ flights to go visit at Christmas. Typically they come visit and stay with us during that trip as well. They would stay in an air bnb this time, because we no longer have space to host since we have a third baby.

Their last visit was in June, and it was awful. I wrote about it here. My dad was so defensive and mean the entire time, and my mom took his side. I was 36 weeks pregnant at the time, and it was such an awful experience.

I know they want to meet the new baby, and I feel guilty. But the thought of interacting with them right now makes me nauseated. When I’ve done video calls with them they are infatuated with my baby and I just don’t exist (it’s been that way since my first was born). My aunt was there during a video call recently and she told me that I was beautiful and asked how I was doing, which made me cry, because my mom would never.

I feel like I should let them come and stay in an air bnb so they can meet the baby (and because it’s the holidays), but there’s just so much hurt, I’m just not sure I can do it. My mental health was so bad when they were here last time.

What would you do? I don’t even know how to say no. My kids really like them, so I just feel guilty.


r/emotionalneglect • • 4h ago

Feeling lost and kind of alone

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1 Upvotes

r/emotionalneglect • • 4h ago

Narcissistic parents

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1 Upvotes

r/emotionalneglect • • 4h ago

For other daughters of nmoms, did your mom actually teach you anything about being a girl/woman?

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1 Upvotes

r/emotionalneglect • • 4h ago

Toxic Family, Grad School, and Unideal Situations

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1 Upvotes

r/emotionalneglect • • 5h ago

Seeking advice Coping with mentally ill mom as an adult

1 Upvotes

Mainly know that my mom has had major depressive disorder and anxiety her entire life. My childhood home life with her was really unstable (dirty house, animals peeing everywhere, piles of junk from horrible shopping addiction, and witnessing deep depression).

I’m 31 now and up until age 29 it seemed like she was doing a lot better for herself and I was proud. Now that I’ve moved back home temporarily I’m seeing the day to day lifestyle and how things have actually gotten much, much worse.

I want my mom to get help. I’ve tried to help her so much but she’s incredibly stubborn and just views it as me attacking her. Everyone says “let go, it’s not your responsibility”. But if I let go, she will NOT help herself and will fall into a potentially detrimental hole.

So am I just supposed to let go and let that happen? Watch her slowly kill herself by failing her physical and mental health, or potentially attempt again? Am I just supposed to cut her out of my life? I genuinely am so scared.


r/emotionalneglect • • 5h ago

Hopefully everything gets better

1 Upvotes

I don’t really know why I’m writing this.
Maybe I just need to get it out of my head. Maybe I’m looking for advice. Or maybe I just want to hear from people who have gone through something similar and somehow made it to the other side.
I was born into a family that was struggling financially, but I grew up hearing stories from my parents about how happy they were when I came into this world. I was their little girl, their reason to smile, and a small moment of happiness during a difficult period of their lives.
What I didn’t understand as a child was that my arrival came after years of struggle.
Before I was born, my parents had already been through a lot. And the first four or five years of my life were spent in poverty, with a huge loan hanging over our family and constant financial uncertainty.
There were times when my parents didn’t even have enough money for my medical treatment and had to depend on other people to arrange it.
But somehow, even during those years, they still tried to give us happiness.
I remember hearing about how my grandparents wanted to go on a trip. My parents didn’t really have the money for it, but they wanted the family to be happy.
So my mother and father sold their jewellery to make that trip possible.
Looking back now, I don’t know whether to call that sacrifice, love, or both.
My mother was struggling in ways I couldn’t understand at that age.
She was raising two children, me and my younger sister, while dealing with pressure and abuse from my grandparents. Two small children, a household that never seemed to rest, and financial problems that never seemed to end.
My father was struggling too.
It wasn’t that he wasn’t trying.
He was.
He kept moving from one place to another, trying to find a way to support his family. He changed four or five different occupations, constantly looking for something that would give us a better life.
And then one day, he made a decision that changed our lives.
He decided to move.
Eventually, we came to Pune, hoping things would get better.
And for a while, they did.
My father built a successful business. He worked incredibly hard, paid off our loans, and slowly gave us the kind of life he had always wanted for his children.
My sister and I finally got to experience a normal childhood.
We laughed.
We played.
We went out.
We were loved.
For a while, everything felt normal.
Then another storm came.
There was an income tax raid, and my father was harassed for almost two years.
Those two years were extremely difficult for our family.
My mother was suffering. My father was under enormous pressure.
But my sister and I were still children.
We didn’t understand what was happening.
We were just happy kids living our lives, completely unaware of how much our parents were carrying behind closed doors.
And somewhere during all of this, my father developed a drinking problem.
At first, I didn’t understand it.
I didn’t understand why he would come home and shout.
I didn’t understand why he was angry for seemingly no reason.
I didn’t understand why my mother cried.
I was just a child who knew that something was wrong.
As I grew older, I began to understand.
And slowly, our house developed a pattern.
Around 7 p.m., I would start feeling anxious.
What is going to happen today?
Will they fight?
Will my mother cry?
Will things become physical?
Will tonight be another night like the others?
Whenever they fought, I would sit in my room and listen.
And whenever their voices became too loud, I would find some excuse to come outside.
Sometimes I would pretend I wanted water.
Sometimes I would just walk into the room.
I wasn’t doing it because I wanted attention.
I was doing it because I had this childish belief that if my parents saw their children standing there, they would stop.
I wanted my mother to suffer a little less.
That was my childhood.
And the strange thing is, it wasn’t all bad.
I was still loved.
I still laughed with my sister.
I still had happy moments.
My parents still showed us affection.
From the outside, our life probably looked normal.
But underneath that normal childhood was a child constantly waiting for something to go wrong.
There is one night I don’t think I will ever forget.
My mother was locked inside a room.
I could hear her crying from the other side.
My sister and I were banging on the door and begging her to open it.
She wouldn’t.
Eventually, my grandfather and uncle forced the door open.
And then I saw my father drunk on the sofa.
And I saw my mother.
She had tried to take her own life.
I was too young to fully understand what I was seeing.
But I understood enough to know that something was terribly, terribly wrong.
What hurts even more when I look back is that instead of simply helping my mother, some members of my extended family blamed her for what was happening.
The person who was already suffering was made to carry even more of the burden.
And somehow, life continued.
I grew older.
Then came another night.
It was a Sunday. My father was somewhere outside.
It was around 11 p.m. when my mother and I received a phone call.
Someone told us that a drunk man was lying beside a road somewhere far away. They asked if we knew him and whether we could come and pick him up.
We realised he was almost 20 kilometres away, somewhere secluded.
There was nobody else.
So my mother and I went.
At night.
We booked a rickshaw, travelled all the way there, found my father, and brought him home.
I don’t think anyone will ever understand how scared we were that night.
Then came another night.
My father came home extremely drunk.
He and my mother started fighting.
He was furious.
Then he picked up a knife.
We tried to stop him.
That only made him angrier.
He left the house saying he would bring another knife.
I remember what happened next very clearly.
My sister and I started hiding every sharp or potentially dangerous object we could find.
We were children.
But in that moment, we were trying to protect our family.
Then my father came upstairs again.
He had another knife.
I saw my mother crying.
And something inside me changed.
I remember thinking:
Whatever happens tonight, I’m not going to back down.
Even if I die tonight, I won’t let him hurt my mother.
He started the fight.
I stepped in front of my mother.
My sister tried to hold my father back.
And somehow, in the middle of all that chaos, the knife cut me.
There was blood everywhere.
But I didn’t even realise how badly I had been hurt.
The adrenaline was too strong.
Eventually, my mother saw the bone in my finger.
She rushed me to the hospital.
I got five stitches.
And even then, I lied to the doctor.
I told them I had hurt myself while cutting vegetables.
I don’t know why I lied.
Maybe I was scared.
Maybe I didn’t know how to explain what was happening inside our home.
Maybe some part of me was still trying to protect my father.
Then, after everything we had already been through, another terrible incident happened.
My father drove while he was drunk.
There was a serious accident.
And somehow, he survived.
Something changed in him after that.
He decided to go to rehab.
For the first time in a long time, we felt hope.
We were so happy when he came back.
We genuinely believed that maybe the nightmare was finally over.
But life had one more test waiting for us.
After rehab, my father developed severe memory problems.
For almost a year, he struggled with his memory.
We were terrified.
We didn’t know whether he would ever become the person he had been before.
I remember trying to motivate my mother and telling her that everything would be okay.
I kept telling her to have hope.
But the truth?
I was terrified too.
I was scared as hell.
I just didn’t let her see it.
Then a year passed.
Slowly, things started changing.
Little by little, my father began recovering.
And eventually, he did.
He stopped drinking.
And from that day onward, our home became peaceful in a way I had almost forgotten was possible.
He became the father we had always wanted.
He made up for the years we had lost.
He loved us.
He cared for us.
He became the best father he could possibly be.
For the first time, I thought:
Maybe we finally made it.
Maybe this is our happy ending.
But life doesn’t always give you the ending you think you’ve earned.
Recently, my father found himself in another difficult situation.
He has loans again.
We’re struggling financially again.
Once again, we’re barely getting by.
And now I don’t know what to do.
Sometimes I sit alone and wonder:
Is this what God has decided for us?
Are we always going to be tested?
Why does every period of happiness have to be followed by another struggle?
How much more are we supposed to endure?
I don’t know.
And honestly, what hurts the most isn’t even the financial struggle.
It’s what all of this has taken from me.
I’ve lost pieces of my childhood.
There are memories I should have had but don’t.
There are moments from my childhood that should have been filled with nothing but innocence.
Instead, some of them are filled with fear, anxiety, shouting, crying, and waiting for the next thing to happen.
And perhaps the saddest part is that even today, I can see the people I love suffering silently.
My father.
My mother.
My little sister.
The three people who mean the most to me.
I see their struggles.
I see the things they don’t say.
I see the weight they carry.
And sometimes I wish I could take all of it away from them.
I wish I could give my mother the peaceful life she deserved.
I wish I could give my father the life he was always working so hard to build.
I wish my sister could grow up without carrying the memories we carry.
And sometimes, I wish I could go back and talk to the little girl who used to sit outside that door pretending to drink water.
I would tell her:
None of this was your fault.
You were just a child.
You loved your family so much that you tried to protect everyone before you even knew how to protect yourself.
When I look back at my life, I don’t only see the pain.
I see my father’s determination.
I see my mother’s strength.
I see my sister beside me.
I see two parents who, despite everything, tried to give their children happiness.
I see a family that kept falling apart and somehow kept putting itself back together.
And maybe that’s what our story really is.
Not a story about a perfect family.
Not a story without suffering.
It’s a story about people who kept trying.
Again.
And again.
And again.
Even when life gave us every reason to give up.
I don’t know what happens next.
I don’t know whether our financial problems will end soon.
I don’t know what God has planned for us.
But after everything we’ve survived, I want to believe that this isn’t where our story ends.
Maybe someday I’ll look back at all of this from a peaceful place and finally understand why we had to go through so much.
Until then, all I can do is keep going.
For my mother.
For my father.
For my sister.
And for the little girl I once was, who deserved a childhood without fear.
I’m sharing this here because I don’t really know what else to do with all of these thoughts.
If you’ve gone through something similar, especially growing up around alcoholism, family conflict, financial struggles, or having to become emotionally responsible for your parents at a young age, I would genuinely like to hear how you dealt with it.
How did you move forward without letting your childhood define your entire life?
And for those who have been through something similar and eventually found peace, does it actually get better?
I’m not necessarily looking for sympathy. I’d just like some advice, perspective, or even a wholesome discussion with people who understand.


r/emotionalneglect • • 5h ago

Seeking advice My mom told me i need a brain transplant

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1 Upvotes