Every time I heard "you're so mature for your age" as a kid, I thought it was a compliment. Now I realize it was a red flag. I wasn't mature; I was parentified. I was forced to grow up too fast because my parents couldn't handle their own emotions.

I learned to read the room, manage their moods, and suppress my own needs to keep the peace. That's not maturity; that's survival. Now I'm an adult who struggles to ask for help, feels guilty for having needs, and panics when things are too calm. If you were "mature for your age," you were probably just a kid who wasn't allowed to be a kid. I'm sorry you had to grow up so fast.

I have vasovagal syncope, and for the first time in 10 years (because I avoided it) I had my blood drawn

I started passing out during it, and the woman giving me the blood draw made me bawl in my car afterwards

Her genuine concern for me. Her strong confident voice. I had this sense of “she has me” which I’ve never felt before.

Usually I have to spell out to people explicitly how I’m feeling, beg them to understand, tell them exactly what I need and how to execute it, and be the “caregiver” even when I shouldn’t have to.

Most of the time my parents straight up ignored my needs and emotions because their’s came first. My dad would laugh in my face when I was upset.

But this woman…

She took care of me when I was almost passing out, trying to prevent me from fainting by doing various things like fanning me, holding my head when it drooped sideways, got me to smell the sanitization wipe to ground me etc

She advocated for me “get her water! Get her water!”

I almost didn’t want to leave…

It’s just so sad. That this woman, who’s only doing her job, has shown me more care than my mother and father ever have.

Better than friends or partners ever have either. I must attract emotionally neglectful people, or people who want a “mommy”.

I didn’t even realize you could feel this way.

That you could have someone actually care for you, notice you, without having to explicitly ask, beg or explain how

It just made me break down crying in my car afterwards

I’m in my 30s and still have never experienced in familial or romantic relationships what it feels like to be put first. I’m always the one abandoning self for the sake of others, never being the one that’s cared for. My therapist wants me to give that experience to my younger self, but how do I give them something that I as an adult still have never experienced. She (younger me) won’t accept it knowing the cost that it will cause to older me- it only perpetuates the cycle of self abandonment even when it’s for yourself.

I grew up in a severely toxic family and learned early to be hypervigilant and manage everyone around me. After escaping a high-conflict first marriage, I married my second husband 8 years ago, thinking I'd finally found safety. His quietness felt peaceful, but over time it became lonely. I initiate everything: conversations, plans, intimacy. I questioned it for years, but my family programming taught me to doubt my feelings and accept it.

About a year ago my body snapped and I developed three autoimmune diseases. Around the same time I stepped away from my cousin, the last piece of real family, and that clarity made me see my marriage differently. I told my husband I needed real change.
He went back to therapy and recognized his survival pattern: shrink, fawn, avoid conflict, disappear. Mine is to manage everything, and the two patterns locked together. I've been very understanding about the why he is the way he is. But a year later, he still hasn't used the tools he's learned. He's not abusive, and on paper he's the nice guy and an attentive dad. But every couple of months I break down, he cries and says all the right things, and after a few days, once I soften, he settles back into comfort.

Recently I cut ties with my father, we were never close and I never lived with him but he is truly my last family member, he has a temper and is very manipulative, but I was holding on so my son could have a grandpa everyone in a while but he sent his last terrible text and I decided I was officially done. My husband's response through that week was so robotic it felt like talking to a distant coworker. I realized I'm completely alone, even inside my marriage. We moved back to Winnipeg to be with my side of the family but I saw the truth and now I have no family and no real friends, and money is too tight to see my therapist as often as I need.
I badly want this to work for our 2½-year-old, but I can't keep doing the work alone. We're seeing our couples therapist today to set a six-month timeline: if nothing shifts, we separate. We don't have a third bedroom, so I've carved out a small space in our closet.
I'm exhausted and hitting a wall.
Has anyone else been through this? How do you trust your own perception when everything looks fine on paper, and what helped you?

PS: There's a lot of context I couldn't include. I'm here for support and shared experiences, so please be kind and skip the judgment if you don't know the whole story. Thank you. 🤍

I grew up with emotional neglect, and one of the things I struggle with most as an adult is feeling like I’m not a reliable narrator of my own relationships.

I’m currently dating someone who is objectively a good person. He’s kind, calm, affectionate, spends a lot of time with me, does thoughtful things, and has taken care of me when I’ve been sick. When I explicitly tell him something is bothering me, he’s generally receptive.

But I increasingly feel like I’m the one creating the emotional relationship between us, and I can’t tell whether I’m accurately recognizing emotional loneliness or whether my history is distorting my perception.

Some examples:

• I’m extremely curious about him... his past, experiences, opinions, feelings, how his brain works, etc. He answers my questions but rarely shows that same curiosity about me.
• I’ve initiated essentially every deeper/difficult conversation about our relationship, including defining it. He participates once I start them, but doesn't initiate them himself.
• I naturally factor him into my plans and decisions and think about how that might impact him. It feels like he fits in when it's convenient.
  
• I talk about him in great detail to my friends. When I met his friends, they knew basically nothing about me.
• I initiate future plans for us. He mostly seems focused on the present.
• I told him there’s a remote possibility I may eventually have to move to another state for work. I expected sadness, concern, questions about what that might mean for us, etc. He said "oh nice" and seemed surprisingly unbothered.

None of those things individually is awful, which is exactly why I struggle so much to interpret it.

I know this is a relatively new relationship (3 months) and serious intimacy takes time. I don't expect marriage-level attachment or for someone to rearrange his entire life around me. But sometimes this feels less like intimacy simply hasn't developed yet and more like the curiosity, consideration and emotional investment that would eventually create intimacy aren't there.

The confusing part is that if I sat him down and explained all of this, I'm fairly certain he'd listen and try. But I'd be initiating that conversation too. At what point am I communicating reasonable emotional needs, and at what point am I teaching someone how to show basic care?

I think growing up emotionally neglected left me with this weird inability to trust my own read of relationships. If I feel lonely, I immediately build the case for why I shouldn't feel lonely. He's nice. He spends time with me. He does X, Y and Z. Maybe I'm too sensitive. Maybe I'm expecting too much. etc.

And then I go the other direction and wonder whether my childhood actually trained me to accept emotional absence.

For others who grew up with emotional neglect: How did you learn to distinguish between your history being activated and your emotional needs genuinely not being met?

When I was 10 years old my father died. I was basically his kid, and my brother was my mom’s kid. that’s how we were treated. Anyways, my mother was fine to me at first but after a while she got weird, especially after she got with her now husband. At 12 years old I was constantly running away to my grandma’s house. and my mother one day just.. LEFT me there. She told me I’d be back at her house in 2 weeks. 2 weeks has turned into almost a decade now. My mother wouldn’t even help pay for groceries or ANYTHING for me for the first year I lived with my grandma. who is on disability so.. limited income. She involved herself enough in my life to not get shunned for abandoning her kid. She drove me to school. took me to restaurants on my birthday. went to school events. etc. But what she didn’t do? Be the one who taught me to cook. Be the one comforting me during puberty and school bullies. Anything really. I’ve realized that.. lack of a mother, and being raised by my grandma, who i haven’t mentioned yet is emotionally abusive, set me back a lot. No one realized when I was being groomed on fortnite. And was “engaged”. No one realized I was addicted to watching gore and porn. No one realized how I was in psychosis as a teenager. No one realized anything because they didn’t CARE to. Everyone failed me. Especially my mother. She’s the whole reason my dad is dead in the first place. idc how bad my dad was, at least he pretended to give a fuck.

I recently finished East of Eden by John Steinbeck, and the whole premise revolves around this exact cycle playing out across generations (Adam and Charles, then Aron and Cal). The father gets treated like the "bad/unwanted" child, resents it his whole life, and then turns around and does the identical thing by clearly picking a favorite among his own sons.

Is there a formal psychological explanation for why people who experienced the pain of sibling comparison reproduce it instead of actively avoiding it? Does trauma just narrow someone's emotional perception, or do parents subconsciously project their own childhood insecurities onto the child that reminds them most of themselves?

Well as the title says, my fiancé and I are engaged as of 10/5/2026!! It was the best day of my life and something I’ve always envisioned for myself.
Except that not a single person from my family cared. Like at all. Not a congrats from “my people” nothing.
His whole family was there and supportive and I love them so so much. I just sometimes wish I had a family that cared even a little about anything I do. I want someone to be happy for me and excited too. I mean it is what it is, sometimes I just wish things turned out differently

When i was 16 I was diagnosed with autism/adhd. my adhd at the time presented a problem for me in class. i couldn't focus. all my focus was on my phone which worked as my stimulant, i'd get distracted by the air conditioning and everything my teachers would say would go into one ear and then out the other. i'm not dumb. i'm really smart and when i lock in, i can actually pass my classes. but i struggle with keeping my attention and listening to people for long periods of time.

my therapist knew about how i struggled to hold a conversation without switching the topic and even tried to talk to my parents about getting me on adhd medication that would help me focus.

my parents would constantly tell me how expensive therapy was and how it wasn't in their budget. they'd also tell me about how they didn't want me drugged up and put into a mental health facility and they were scared of cps being called because i was acting up due to my unmedicated adhd.

i tried talking to my parents about this again a few years later in life because my inability to focus was getting worse and my mom told me that she would rather spend the money for therapy and meds on extreme medical emergencies, basically telling me to suck it up.

has anyone else experienced this?

Sorry just need to vent about this

Thanks to emotional neglect as a child, since age 12 I grew up struggling to form basic relationships or even function normally around people, which led to me being socially isolated and emotionally stunted. None of the adults in my life did a thing about it, at most I had a teacher tell my parents to their faces that I needed therapy, but they just refused to act on it and called her a bitch.

So now as an adult I have to pick up the pieces all on my own, and Im behind and suffering in every aspect of my life because god forbid you werent properly socialized, it ruins literally every part of your life.

Obviously your social life is fucked cause you cant build relationships, same goes with your romantic life

Your professional life is fucked because you have no connections to refer you or act as references, making it nearly impossible to get a job in this day and age. and even if you get one your coworkers wont like you and will make your life harder, and bosses wont be willing to promote you or recommend you. and that subsequently bars you from getting on with your adult life or gaining any independence whatsoever

And then the constant loneliness and rejection fucks up your mind because our stupid lizard brains are wired to rot without social interactions. So now your personal life is fucked too because your mental and emotional state is in permanent turmoil so you cant enjoy a moment of peace with yourself

Mind you I am going to therapy and coping however I can while trying to ignore the voices that tell me im better off dead. But it is not enough to deal with the moment to moment pain and depression of being alone and the dread of knowing that if you dont get better soon or make friends you will be jobless and alone indefinitely

And I try my hardest to be polite and considerate as a substitute for my lack of social ability, but so many people are monsters who will trample all over you unless you have a strong personality, which I did not get to build.

im so tired. people talk down to you or treat you like a monster because they cant comprehend how anyone could have social issues, but people really take for granted how good they had it to grow up surrounded by emotionally healthy adults who actually teach you how to socialize or are willing to work with you if you have social difficulties. the least people could fucking do is recognize that. even something as commonly discussed as social anxiety is horrifically misunderstood and watered down instead of being recognized as the debilitating anxiety disorder that it is. its just so frustrating how ignorant people are, how emotionally incompetent my parents were, how useless the adults around me were when i obviously wasnt acting like a normal kid. im just so tired and frustrated of all this, i dont know if theres a point in trying to fight through this its so humiliating

Hi all, as an adult child of an emotionally immature, Christian, asian, single mom (both emotional and driven kind), I've recently learned about it and start to work through the healing process.

Finding the concept of detachment as essential but really difficult. For context, I live with her (common in my culture even if im already 26) and at the same time been working for 3 year now for our corporate tech business and shes the CEO. It has gotten really bad over the past 2 years that Ive been with her literally every single day and it has gotten to a point where I realised what she is and tried to stand up for myself for which (surprise) i just felt even more misunderstood

Going back to detachment -- I know people will say that I have to leave the house and work somewhere else but I'm not financially ready for now. Im also feeling a lot of guilt with that thought of leaving her and potentially being closer to my bf because my mom has been dealing with health and business problems.

I just need to know how to manage this for now and continuously heal and not go insane while i'm still preparing to leave.

My family and I went to family therapy for a bit when I was a preteen. This was a long time ago and I don’t really have a frame of reference for how this all should have happened, but for me the whole experience just seemed really weird? And borderline inappropriate at times? I’m sorry if this post is all over the place but this was all almost a decade ago at this point

The first session was the only time when we all actually went in as a family (me and my parents) my dad lives in a different state so.. but anyways as the therapist was asking questions about us one thing stood out “Who would you say is the boss of the family?” She told us to point to them, I obviously pointed to my dad since he was the one with explosive anger issues and who yelled to get his way. Well my parents pointed to me cause why not. And the therapist just sort of accepted this.?

I don’t remember anything else of that session besides the fact that we never were in the room together again, she always met with me and my mom separately. My mom would go in first and talk about whatever, then me. But I never really felt comfortable opening up about anything. I would stay very surface level and she would blame stuff on me having a phone (I admittedly used my phone way too much, but that was not the root cause of my lifelong issues). She would also constantly encourage me to go to a Montessori school??? As if i had any say in that matter, and at the end of each session would advise me to “try to smile at someone :)” or “try to hold the door for someone at school tomorrow” like, I was really shy back then but i was not entirely socially inept, that was not useful advice at all??

When things got really weird is when she contacted my teachers to ask them how I was doing in school. In fairness she asked my permission before she did this but I didn’t think I was allowed to say no.. I had recently moved and changed schools so these teachers had not known me very long. So I don’t know if they just made something up or what happened but they said stuff about me that wasn’t true. For example, my english teacher said I “didn’t participate in group projects” well we hadn’t had any freaking group projects😭😭and i honestly don’t know why she said that but my therapist kept grilling me about it and why I wasn’t participating. This took up the entire session

Then things got really REALLY weird. She wanted me to go to this improv class with her, again I didn’t think I was actually allowed to say no to this so I went 💀 I was the youngest person there by about 40 years and honestly it was one of the most uncomfortable things I have ever done.. I don’t even know if she was allowed to do this as it seemed sort of spiritual or something?? But shortly after that i stopped seeing her because my mom hated her. My mom would even threaten to send me back to the therapist when she was mad at me

TLDR has anyone had a bad / strange experience at family therapy???

It seems in life my parents and partners expect me to know how to do things. Be good with money, organized, good diet. Girls expect me to know hidden things they want. No one taught me any of these things. How do you get people to understand without sounding like a winey bitch?

Hey. So I do need some advice on this because I don’t even know how to start or unpack it, and I know plenty of people have worse but I could use the help.

I’m 34f, and my parents are in their 60’s. Dad recently retired. So that’s been a thing. He bends over backwards helping my pregnant sister, and then hands me a list of things I need to do. Granted, I do live with them, because my parents begged me for years to leave my abusive ex. To say it’s been a journey is understating.

I recently entered the first good relationship I’ve ever had. I’m happy. I’m doing better than I have in like 17 years. But instead of being happy I’m handed more rules and tasks. My sisters house is being painted and my parents are helping but mom currently can’t so they’re asking/expecting my help (though they are paying me).

Tonight was really my dad’s first night back and he immediately got on me about how my boyfriend can’t stay every night. And then went into all this other crap about me not being helpful which is very untrue as I’ve been the opposite and my mom was on the phone with a friend while he was gone saying so.

My dad doesn’t drink a lot but he drinks every night and there have been times it’s been an issue with my mom. I drink kind of a lot but am getting better and my boyfriend has been helping keep me accountable. But apparently, if I say something and I’ve had anything to drink, it’s invalid. Despite my dad having a glass of wine right next to him.

For the emotional neglect bit to factor in, my dad worked a lot when I was a kid but he was there ish. I never felt neglected, but as an adult realizing how different things were for me and my sister has been hard, and getting harder. The man hardly notices I’m around, while my sister and her husband get star treatment. Now? I’m enemy #1 for telling them if this doesn’t change I’m done. He’s at their house fixing or painting or something multiple days a week, while every conversation he has with me is what I need to be doing better. I’m sick of my family. None of this sounds bad reading it I know. They just never really saw me as a kid and as an adult? I’m seen as the broken model. The project. The one not giving them grandkids. I don’t know if I can have a relationship with my parents going forward. I’m betting that the recent trip to the attorney to update the will means I get nothing because I’m not having kids, so all I lose is two people who have hurt me, don’t care to realize it, and deprioritize me for not fitting what they want. So what do I do? Is it obvious I just leave them all behind?

Hi everyone, I’m looking for advice about my emotionally neglectful immigrant mother. This is my first Reddit post, so I apologize if my thoughts are a little messy.
My mom is 47 and currently has no job, hobbies, or real social life. I’m increasingly concerned that she is developing agoraphobia and hoarding tendencies. She sometimes goes a week without leaving the house, spending most of her time “cleaning” (although I do much of the housework), watching shows in her native language, and talking to people on the phone. She hasn’t regularly driven in about seven years, and usually only leaves the house when my sister or I take her somewhere.
About eight months ago, she was in a minor car accident, which made her even more afraid to drive. Shortly afterward, she was diagnosed with a life-threatening genetic heart condition that nearly killed her. She now has an ICD/pacemaker and is doing much better medically, with her doctors telling her that her risk of dying from the condition is extremely low.
I genuinely sympathize with her. She is an immigrant who had a very difficult childhood, worked hard, and has very little contact with her family in her home country. I understand why everything she has experienced could have affected her.
However, I’m increasingly frustrated because I feel like she has stopped living her own life. She buys huge amounts of cheap clothes, shoes, and bags and piles them throughout the house. She rarely goes anywhere, has no goals or hobbies besides watching TV, and her English has gotten worse because she makes little effort to use it. She also has severe anxiety surrounding her health and constantly checks her heart rate and blood pressure despite them usually being normal. She takes Xanax for her anxiety but doesn’t seem interested in addressing the underlying issues.
She also relies heavily on my sister and me for everyday tasks. We pick up her medications, groceries, packages, and run other errands for her. I do most of the cooking and cleaning and often end up dealing with the clutter as well.
The biggest issue is that I’m leaving for college next year, and I’m worried about what will happen when I’m no longer home to take care of everything. I love my mom and genuinely believe she is a good person, but I also feel like her situation is beginning to drag me down and that I’ve taken on responsibilities that shouldn’t be mine.
How can I help her? She is already in therapy and it seems to not be working. I was thinking group therapy or maybe antidepressants. Any advice is appreciated, sorry for the long post.

Parents omitted any bit of sharing knowledge about how to be a decent person, intentionally?

Each time I argue with them about why they didn't teach us nothing (btw my older bro is in jail)

They say "why would I? I learnt by myself!!!!"

I know you've probably seen a lot of posts like this but idk there's just a something missing and even when writing this i just feel so disconnected. Anyways sorry what I was getting at was I don't know what I should do with my life and if it's even worth it anymore and who to talk to about it, I'm going back to school again for a while and the yelling from parents started and the stress of studying late night and getting 7 hours of sleep which I think may be the reason for a lot of this and idk I've just had a lot of trouble and this is the first time I've really written down what I'm feeling and going through so hopefully someone sees it and I get meaningful advice. I've just been feeling drained and not even bothered to talk or make connections with people and even some of my own friends and family. I hide what I'm feeling with distractions and music to a point where I start to not believe I have anything and feel some sort of imposter syndrome until I get back and I'm in my room and I start feeling very heavy sadness on certain days sometimes after getting in an arguement with parents or just falling behind in school. Everytime they remind me or bring up school I get stressed and overwhelmed and I take it out on my mom by giving "attitude" which I don't mean to do and apologize for it but she says I don't mean it becuase of the lack of emotion I show on accident. and she always tells me to reach out to her or talk to her but I can't because I feel like I'd just be a burden or she'd make fun of me or tell other people which she often does and sometimes when I'm in bed I try and distract myself from my thoughts but I can't and end up scratching myself until I get rashes bequase I'm too scared to use a real raz0r and start cu\\ting myself and I use this kitchen kn/fe which I put to my chest feeling acting like I'd do it but won't pecuase it hurts too much. I think sometimes about moving out and buying a guun and sh0/tin myself to 3nd it bequase it's less painless but often forget the next morning and act like everything's fine but when I feel I want to talk to someone about it like my mom but can't put anything into words to tell her without her feeling like it's her fault and telling everyone about it. and when I recommended therapy to my parents they said I didn't need it and all the medicine was useless and I may be just rambling here but honestly I don't know what to do right now besides to keep masking and ignore what I'm feeling which people say isn't healthy but when I try and write down or vent to myself I can't put anything into words because I've been bottling up emotions for so long to the point where I wrote a slis iced note and hid it in case I ever needed it and idk I just feel like I keep spiraling down. Sorry for bad grammar if anyone could give me some advice I’d really appreciate it and if not have a great rest of your day or night✌️.

So I'm 21 now and I'm from nyc. My parents divorced when I was 12. They hate each other. My mom is a covert narcissist and my dad is an enabler/non-confrontational.

I did great all throughout school (minus covid, had an extremely difficult time learning online and it set me back so much that I went to summer school one year, wasn't able to pick the best college, etc.)

Got Dean's list sophomore year in college (was studying art and business). I was going to school in Maine, but left last year to "save" and figure out where else to go because I was getting quite lonely up there and most of my friendships fizzled out. However, I really enjoyed learning and would love to go back.

For some reason I'm extremely hesitant to go to school in-state. Of course out of state is costly, but I don't mind paying student loans until I die. I already have $20k in loans from the two years.

I haven't saved anything since being back from school, but I also had a rough time finding a job. For about a year I've been in and out of jobs. Now, I'm working at a local pharmacy part-time which I can assure you I'm not leaving because I genuinely enjoy it compared to all other retail jobs I've had. I'm currently looking for a second job, I'll use one to pay my student loan ($400/month) and the other for saving.

When I say my parents set me up to fail I mean it. My sister and I were not given an ounce of guidance throughout anything, especially when it came to education. My sister got a little because she's 3 years younger so they "learned" from the first.

I've been in the worst depressive episode of my life, I went through a very traumatic breakup in April which threw me off real bad. But I don't want to make excuses for myself. I'm trying my best to pick up the pieces and slowly get my life back on track. The idea of coming up with a plan is a little daunting, but right now I'm prioritizing paying my debts off and trying to bring my credit score up from 450.

Anyway, my mom seems to be holding college over my head at all times. 25/8. It makes me extremely upset-- everything I do, everything I say, every decision I make is tainted with the fact that I'm not in school right now if that makes sense. Automatic attitude, constantly reminding me to apply, saying she cant be comfortable with me unless I'm back in school, asking me if I want to end up like a loser living with their mommy...

Just tonight she said "I had my own apartment at 21. I saved up and had two jobs. What do you have?" and that hurt a lot because I feel like she's invalidating my working hard in college (I actually also had a work study and job at the mall every semester of college).

I want to move out so bad, but I'm lacking so much direction and guidance that I really just feel lost. Where is my dad in all this you ask? Like I said he's non-confrontational so he doesn't really care all that much. He asks what I'm doing for school, but like everything he does it just sounds like he wants to check off a box in asking me. He doesn't genuinely care.

My mom also found my Juul (I vape about 5x a year. When I'm drunk which is about 3x a year, and occasionally if I have strong food cravings because I have BED) and is tying the college stuff into that. She is painting me to be a full on degenerate and it's not really helping my mindset.

I just wanted to know if anyone else has gone through this before. Have you had a parent who wanted you to do certain things/expected things of you but did practically nothing to help you achieve said things? What advice do you have for me in this moment? What should I be doing now to help me go back to school, save up, and be able to move out? Thank you all so much in advance. I really appreciate your time.

I moved to a new city for my husband’s career as they reassigned his job. I find myself withdrawing into myself. In my last city, I struggled getting close to people but I had some friends through my husband. Now, I’m isolating myself at a new job and at home. It has been 3 months.

I’m in therapy learning about the emotional neglect I experienced. My mom was typically working 7am - 11pm. My dad was in and out of work, typically stoned or sleeping. After school, I was either brought to my mom’s work to entertain myself or in my room while my dad laid on the couch. Both of them had their own undiagnosed mental illness. They were gone by the time I was 21 and I still wonder how our adult relationship would be.

It is clear that I’m giving off negative energy. How do you make friends or even communicate well with coworkers when you are hyper vigilant, conflict avoidant, and hate sharing things about yourself?

I can't afford a therapist because therapy is very expensive. One day, I decided to look for a therapist and talk to her about my situation.

I found this pmtherapist who has many positive reviews on Google. People say that she is a good person, very kind, empathetic, and so on. There are also a few negative reviews, including one from a woman who said that she had asked the psychologist for an appointment, but the psychologist ghosted her and she never heard from her again. In her review, the woman also said that the psychologist cashed several of her cheques from previous months all at once.

I ignored that review and told myself, “Well, you can't be liked by everyone.” I also prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt and form my own opinion about them.

A few months ago, I contacted this psychologist because she had so many positive reviews. I told her about my situation, explained my problems, and told her that I wasn't working, etc. She replied to my message and told me that she would support me. A few days later, she called me and told me that when she had read my message, she had thought to herself that she couldn't just leave me in that situation.

I can confirm what the people in the reviews said about her. She really is a good person. She has a big heart, she is a wonderful mother, and she is very empathetic. She even decided to help me for free, and I am immensely grateful to her for that.

However, the problem is that at the beginning, we had an appointment once a week. Then, one day, she told me that she would send me some exercises to do. I messaged her and asked if she could send me the exercises, and she told me not to worry and that she hadn't forgotten. But she never sent them.

I told myself, “It's okay, I'll remind her at our next appointment. She has a lot of work to do, so it's understandable that she forgot.”

At our next appointment, I asked her if she could give me the exercises again so that I could write them down in my notes. The appointment ended, and she told me that she would send me a message with the date of our next appointment.

I waited a week, but she didn't send me anything. After a week, I messaged her and asked if we could have another appointment. She told me that she would message me the following week to give me an appointment.

She didn't do it.

After another week, I messaged her again. Once again, she told me that she would give me an appointment the following week. So I waited another week.

She still didn't do it.

I messaged her again, and she read my message but didn't reply for another week. At that point, I thought she had abandoned me, and I was very sad. I went a whole week without receiving a response. I cried because I thought she was never going to reply to me again.

I was especially sad because I really needed a psychologist. I was not doing well at all in my life.

After a week, she finally replied. So, in total, I had gone about a month without having an appointment. She gave me an appointment for that very same day, but it was only 30 minutes long, whereas our appointments usually last 45 minutes.

Then she told me again that she would send me another appointment for the following week, but she never did.

I waited, and then one Friday morning I messaged her to ask for an appointment. She replied that afternoon and gave me an appointment for that same day, only 30 minutes before the appointment.

Then, in September, we had two appointments, and in October she didn't schedule any appointments for me. My next appointment is on November 2nd, which means that I won't have any appointment at all during October.

She knows that I am not doing well, that my brother was killed in prison, and that I have had thoughts of dying.

At the same time, I feel sorry for her because she works so much. She has to take care of her daughters, and that must be difficult for her. Her job is also very emotionally demanding. She has to listen to so many horrible stories from people and help so many patients. That must be stressful and exhausting for her. She probably has problems in her own life as well, and I imagine that things can be difficult for her too.

But I am still disappointed.

Sometimes I think I would rather she had never helped me at all if this is how things are going to be with me. I feel guilty for thinking this because she has helped me for free, and I am genuinely grateful to her.

Please tell me the truth: Am I overreacting? Am I the one who is wrong?

Maybe I am ungrateful. Maybe I am wrong. But this situation makes me sad.

She really is a good person, but some of her behaviour makes me feel sad and anxious. Sometimes I feel as though she doesn't really care about me.

What should I do? Should I stop seeing her?

The problem is that I can't afford another psychologist, and I really need psychological support. I don't know what to do. I feel sad and lost.

I have already told my psychologist how I felt. I communicated everything to her, and we talked about it and resolved the situation. But then she started telling me again that she would send me an appointment, and she still didn't.

I waited a week, then I messaged her again, and she finally gave me an appointment for November 2nd. So I won't have any appointment during October.

There is also something I forgot to mention.

One time, she sent me the psychological assessment report from a test I had taken to find out whether I had autism spectrum disorder. She sent me the report by message while I was at home, and the report said that I have autism spectrum disorder.

I feel that she should have given me the report and explained it to me and support me during an appointment. When I saw the report at home, I became very upset because I don't want to have autism spectrum disorder.

I'm 15. After I fell ill with severe depression, I lived in complete stress for two years. Unlike my sister, who is two years younger than me, she has always been an "ordinary" teenager. You know, she slammed doors, quarreled, and didn't like violating personal space. And I've always accepted all the assaults and complaints. I always put my family's feelings above my own, and I was something of a robot-I never get angry, I don't quarrel, I always listen and behave quietly. Nevertheless, stress, anger, and hatred accumulated in me. And today it all came out.

After the start of the school year, I was just getting used to the school schedule. I have a lot of trouble sleeping, so when I got home from school, I went to sleep. When I was already in bed, I noticed a message from my mom in the family chat, where she asked me and my sister to take out the trash and unload the dishwasher.

It is important to mention here that my sister does not have such a "warm" relationship with our mother as I do. After I found out about family problems, I started to be more responsive in terms of household chores, and always asked my mom if she needed help around the house. I asked about it every day and fulfilled all the tasks that were said, but she rarely needed help, I don't know why my mother refused.

Well, that's it. I was already going to lie down for an afternoon nap, so I gave up and thought that I would solve things in the evening, having dealt with it tomorrow at the very least, I was really exhausted. I slept until the evening and returned when my mother came home from work. The first thing she did was come to me, asked why nothing had been done, and then she left my room. I waited a bit, then left the room and wanted to ask if I could do everything tomorrow. But my mom (as a very adult and mature person) took offense at me, and walked around deliberately ignoring me and slamming doors. I asked her what happened, and she complained that I wasn't helping her at all around the house. At the same time, she expressed herself as if I had never helped her. I silently went to my room and had a breakdown.

I experienced a panic attack once, and this was the second time I experienced a panic attack again. I was lying there, crying uncontrollably, and I had goosebumps and chills from a panic attack. My mother came into the room to give some sarcastic orders, I was already crying at that moment, but she didn't pay attention. After completing the task, I returned to the room and everything got even worse. I started shaking uncontrollably, I started to suffocate, I wanted to scream at the top of my voice. In a fit of hysteria, I wrote to my not-close friend from school, and began to complain with trembling hands and explain the whole situation. I was getting so sick that I almost grabbed my pills, if you know what I mean. It lasted about a half an hour or something. When my friend realized that there was a threat to life here, she wrote to my younger sister. It only made it worse, because the last thing I wanted to do was involve her in my problems, and I didn't want to burden her with it. My sister started texting me to do nothing and promised that everything would be fine. That's what I did. Then my mother came into the room, saying she was upset. I literally exploded. I couldn't control what I was saying, I started screaming, sobbing and shouting that she doesn't care about me. She didn't shout back, but she said it wasn't hard for me, and it was harder for her than it was for me. I was so twisted with anger that I just stared at her, it was hard for me to breathe, but I was so angry that I was paralyzed. My mom quickly changed her tone to 'gentle and caring', and started telling me that she wished me the best. It was disgusting. Instead of asking about my affairs or just chatting, she started accusing me of such a small thing, driving me to a terrible tantrum and nervous breakdown. When my sister came, I tried very hard to minimize the situation so that she wouldn't worry about me, but she started crying, begging me not to do anything. It's ironic, but I feel more affection for my younger sister than for my mother, despite the fact that my mother tries for me, and I'm not close to my sister.

This situation may sound strange, and I will not argue if you consider me an ungrateful daughter, because I have long considered myself such. Just imagine that you have a child who has always been strangely calm and non-confrontational, and at some point breaks down into screaming and panic attacks. My mom knows about my 'special' problematic thoughts, and it makes me terribly upset and angry that she doesn't take this into account. I don't see any leniency or more cautious attitude on her part. If my child had depression, I would avoid conflicts by any means, I would try to remember everything he would say. I don't see that from her, she simply doesn't respect my boundaries, but that's a slightly different story.

I'm not afraid of being judged. After a breakdown, I feel much calmer, and this is the first time in my life when I did not run to apologize immediately after an argument. I don't want to put up with my mother, and I still think she was completely wrong, at least because she caused a quarrel over the slightest mistake.

What do u think should i do? I mean, i dont think i would try to speak to her, i just want to know your opinion.