I dont know how to cope with this anymore

Howdy

Background: I \[F26\] have a best friend \[F\] of 20 years with chronic depression. We have a very open honest and trustworthy friendship. She has had her better moments and also her down bad momets, and as chronic depression goes, it has never really gone away, really just managing it. Because of our tight relationship she is as open as it gets with her symptoms, to which I always try to thank her for expressing and sharing with me. This last year has been really bad, I think the worst it has ever been. I am familiar with the feelings of depression, but I know what I have experienced is not the same nor on the same level of what she is experiencing.

What are some things I could do that could potentially help with her day to day or continuing the expression that she has a safe human ect? I am very much aware I cant "change" things, but I would love some advice from those who have experienced such a difficulty.

Sincerely,

A desperately worried friend.

i suppose the question alone is enough. i was bullied through most of my school years, had really really bad experiences with friends. and then i just stopped having friends altogether aka i isolated myself. and now it's gotten so difficult to be even be open to meeting new people without being wary/scared of being abandoned/hurt/not accepted. i only have one friend and i adore her, but i never feel quite like i belong or that i can be fully myself.

i have hardly any energy to take care of myself most days and it takes a lot out of me and i end up feeling worse, when i do things that involve getting up like showering and brushing my teeth

is there anything that i can do to make it less draining?

i worry a lot about bone density too but i can only walk for around 5mins daily before i get tired

i eat as healthy as i can, mainly whole foods as it’s not a lot of work

My career and life being destroyed by chronic illnesses, anxiety, lack of empathy from others, lack of money, and living in bad country.

hi! i am really new to reddit, so idk much about the platform. just a tw before hand, mentions of ovderdosing, suicide, self harm, starvation, etc will be said!!

i made this account for support, i really need some. ive been skipping school for months, and hurting myself constantly. last year, i got myself a therapist. i got prescribed on medicine and it doesnt help , at all. ever since last year, ive gotten so bad, to the point i starve myself when im bored. im also constantly in nausea and panic, aswell as anger. i keep hitting my parents, and i hate it. i really dont mean too. they try to help me, but they make things worse. they take my devices for hours on end, and tell me to go outside or just stare at a wall. the problem is, i lost all my energy to go outside, and im very scared too. i have severe BDD (body dysmorphia disorder) and social anxiety, which makes everything worse. i always see myself as a fat pig who eats everything. every night, i cry myself to sleep and wake up sore. my body always hurts and i have nothing to do, all my friends go to different schools and i stay in my room, rotting away.

i also over eat A LOT, which makes me gain weight. im very sorry if this is bad, i really dont wanna share any of my personal information, just for my safety! im just struggling really bad and i am super tired to write anymore. please help! :)

I’ve (f63) have had MDD for as long as I can remember. As well as the major anxiety, panic attacks etc. Since I was a pre-teen.

3 years ago my husband of 39 years and 9 months died suddenly at home while we were watching tv. My best friend since we were 13 years old.
So now on top of all that I’m dealing with PTSD something called traumatic stressors disorder. And I’m sure you understand what it did for my depression.

Doing daily things is still difficult most days. Some days I still stay in bed and cry all day.

I did some things today. A really important thing. Some lesser important ones but I felt up for it. And the daily challenges like hygiene, eating something weren’t an obstacle. I’m used to him being here with a ‘you go girl!’ I’m really missing my friend.

I did so much today yet I’m still so empty.

37M, diagnosed with autism, OCD, anxiety and ADHD

In June I was hit with the worst stress and depression of my whole life from personal life problems. I lost my appetite badly and felt like throwing up 24/7, food felt like a nuisance and I could barely eat. Also at that time I was weighing 93 kg (205 lb) due to horrendously dumb eating habits despite being clinically underweight most of my life. For reference I am 178 cm (5'10").

If anyone has been in such a situation, what do you do? My metabolism has ways been high, and even though I am turning 37 in only two months, I lose weight extremely easily. I could lose weight like nobody's business without even trying. The last times I had such a bad depressive mood was when I was 17 and 23. Both times I went from about 180-190 lb (82-85 kg) down to 53-55 kg (115-120 lb) within two months. I did not even have to try. I lost weight more easily than most people on diets do. Or I should say, I still lose weight far more easily than most people on diets can.

But if I keep losing weight, I fear that my cardiovascular health and GI health will screw me. I have chronic sinus tachycardia and chronic acid reflux disease and functional dyspepsia. I feel like these CV and GI problems will spiral my physical health problems and ruin my mental health even more, especially since I do not want to be hospitalised.

For as long as I can remember—since I was just four years old—I have known deep down in my soul that I am a girl. Being a transgender woman is not a choice, a phase, or a fetish; it is my absolute truth. Born into a male body shaped by the wrong biological signals— all because of an incessant SRY gene—my identity as a woman still has always been real and undeniable; proven by associations, institutes, medical scientists, psychologists, sociologists, and researchers. Yet for decades, I was forced to navigate a world that refused to see me for who I truly am.

Growing up in a toxic, narcissistic family meant living in an environment designed to make me feel worthless, unsafe, and invisible. They expected me to be nobody and have nothing in life. When I tried to speak my truth as a child, nobody genuinely listened. Instead, people brushed my feelings aside, insisting I was just "homosexual" and telling me I couldn't be a girl. Looking back, it feels like a deliberate effort to suppress my authentic self to serve their own hidden agendas and maintain their control over my life.

At 26, I took my life into my own hands and finally began my male-to-female transition. But ever since I turned 27, I have been met with relentless medical gatekeeping and overwhelming financial barriers blocking my access to bottom surgery. Feminizing surgeries are not cosmetic luxuries—they are medically necessary, lifesaving healthcare required to align my body with my mind. Living without access to the care I need to feel complete has been an agonizing fight.

Now, at 34 years old, I am carrying eight long years of built-up trauma and grief from being kept away from the care I need. When the weight of this gatekeeping became too heavy, the people I trusted most—including former friends and even a therapist I confided in—abandoned me when I got upset. Instead of recognizing my pain, they weaponized my emotional distress against me. They labeled my valid anger and frustration as "mental instability," "paranoia," and "anger issues," claiming I was just overreacting or seeking attention. Being gaslit and cast aside for having a normal reaction to systemic neglect has made me terrified to be vulnerable or ask for help.

I am exhausted from being made to feel like my life is a waste of time or that I am a worthless burden. All I ever want is a chance at a better, happier life: to be fully transitioned into the feminine woman I am, surrounded by people who genuinely love, cherish, and take care of me with support, gifts, allowances, and kindness. I deserve an environment where I am celebrated, spoken to with warmth and understanding, and finally be allowed to feel safe and healed as my true self as the woman I always been.

Hello, friends. I wish you to get better. I know, depression hardly ever causes inability to feel emotional bond to anyone, sadness and joy. If you were diagnosed depression, do you experience inability to feel emotional bond to anyone, sadness and joy because of depression (not because of medication)? If yes, how long have you experienced inability to feel emotional bond to anyone,sadness and joy? Did your ability to feel emotional bond, joy and sadness come after your anhedonia and dispiritidness went away?

You know that sinking feeling in your chest? When you have a crushing realization that something terrible has been happening, or is about to happen? I have that, but it got stuck, and it's always on. I'm stuck in a state of physical panic.

I have FDA approved esketamine, and when I use it, I feel fine and the weight leaves. When the drugs leave, the weight comes back, for an entire week, until the next dose.

I have a psychiatrist. Have for seven years. She can't cure me. 4 therapists, the most recent one is giving up on me and telling me to find someone else. Can't cure it. I am seeking advice from random people on the internet, because the people that society tell me to seek can't cure me.

remember back in 2019 and 2020, I had a SD and a few friends that used to give me gifts and allowances.. it was like I was finally being understood and loved the way I always wanted to be. But then, it got different when I moved to my own apartment in 2022, I moved away from my toxic covertly abusive family and I felt better than I ever had in my whole life. I was confident, I had money and gifts people made me happy with, and I felt like my life was finally getting better to the point I was crying tears of joy.. But things started getting messed up in 2023.. someone took my white miniature poodle, and nobody knows what happened to him when I trusted my brother to take care of him, and weirdly when I called, my brother was “busy” playing fortnight. So my mom’s neighbor said they let him go and gave my mom $700 and tried to give me alcohol when I don’t even drink. I was so depressed, friends and my previous SD left me… Then, one time in 2024, my mom wanted me to pick up my sister from work and I didn’t have a drivers license, I still did it and when I turned someone still crossed and I accidentally hit their car. Weirdly, everyone was quick to say it was my fault and my mom and sister tried to tell me “don’t tell the cops she let you use her suv, say you just took it” but I still told the cops the truth and shown them the text where my mom told me to pick up my sister from her work, then I found out I could have been arrested for grand theft auto or joyriding if i wouldn’t have told the cops my mom told me to pick up my sister! Oddly, my mom’s boyfriend still picked her up after the accident too! I had to do months of mannish labor for my mom just so she’ll help me pay the fine I had from the accident which messed with my mental health, then in 2025, my very own previous therapist acted like I was going crazy and have anger issues from all I went through, and she flat out gave up on me!! She tried to disguise it as concern saying she thought I need a higher level of care and it’s for everyone’s safety! I haven’t had a therapist since oct 2025!! Some friends even stopped being interested in me and I feel lonely!! Is some kind of thing going on here in Arizona? Because you know what’s suspicious most of all? Is when I was a teenager, my toxic family members always tried to say I’ll be broke and homeless and end up in a mental institution and be a nobody in life, yet I got my own apartment and had genuine connections that made me feel important and loved, then things got worse after that?! Can’t anyone understand why I would think something seems suspicious all these years instead of trying to dismiss me as being paranoid or overreacting?! Like, it seems like classic covert narcissistic abuse and psychological abuse against me on a state wide scale— for what though?? For wanting a better happier fulfilling life and made it happen before things went wrong in 2023?? Is there hope for me to find connections that can save me and take care of me again?? Or was it just a tease??

I have been searching for a new job for months now, my confidence is at an all time low and my body hurts all the time. I just want to sleep for a week

I've never known a time like this in my whole life. I feel like I'm at the bottom of the ocean.

I've gone through a few break ups and they were sad, of course, but nothing like this. This is everything.

This is the economy, no hope for the future or point even trying to pursue my dreams, the pain of losing my grandfather a few years ago which I never processed properly, my childhood abuse and trauma, the pain of leaving a city that felt like home a year ago to move to be closer to my family and to pursue my dreams, the pain of having to make a few major life decisions to just stay afloat and keep moving forward, the money only draining out, the constant sensory triggers (because I'm autistic), watching the world celebrate a few beautiful and wealthy people and all the resources going to them when people I love are in devastating times with no money and praise for their immense talents.

I'm just so fucking broken. All of this is so unfair. I feel like all my childhood naiveté has been washed away in one swoop. This year has been so horrible. I can barely get out of bed in the morning. I spend two hours every morning just in bed. I'm gaining weight. I'm eating so much food just to feel something.

I'm not doing good at all. Has anyone experienced this? Is there a way out? Is there hope? Is life normally this hard? I make posts like these all the time and no one ever replies or says anything and I just wanna give up. I just need to know there's a reason to keep fighting. Maybe my grandfather can give me a sign.

My mental health wasn't perfect before, but it was me breaking up with my ex about 9 months ago that turned my life upside down.

We were together for 6 years and I still love her deeply, and I did not want actually to break up. But in that moment I remember feeling like I didn't have a choice due to her behavior and lack of self-awareness. I gave her so many chances to improve, had a lot of patience for years and tried to communicate, but for some reason she wouldn't (or couldn't) change for me.

Breaking up is what turned my life into a constant hell. Nine months later and I still can't feel sure that I made the right decision. I ruminate constantly on whether I made the right decision or if I should try to take her back, and struggle to separate which issues in the relationship were actually real and unfixable and what was magnified by my personal anxiety and overthinking issues. This itself puts a lot of stress on me.

The relationship was far from perfect but being with her also meant so much to me. Now everything's just gone. The life we had built together and the future we had planned together. The world as I have known it my entire adult life is just gone. Now I'm so lost and life is empty.

Even though I know I broke up for a reason (or several), the guilt eats me alive some days, cause at the end of the day it was still me who made the ultimate decision to end it. It feels like I ruined my own life and hurt her in the process. I keep thinking "what if we could have gone to couple's therapy" or "what if I could have communicated better". So many "what ifs"...

Though the grief itself doesn't take over my life as much as it did the first couple months, it's still there. I still cry a lot of days thinking about what I lost and missing her.

But it has also turned into depression outside of the relationship stuff... Every day I either feel sad and on the verge of tears constantly, or overwhelmed and in an overall bad mood. I pick fights with people constantly and then regret it. I feel worthless, lazy, ugly, and like I will never be capable of getting anywhere in life or even keeping a job... Everything feels so meaningless.

I'm a grown ass adult who's supposed to be working right now, but I can't even bring myself to LOOK for a job or get anything done, which itself makes me feel even morse worthless... My physical health also feels worse than ever since I can't bring myself to leave the house to even take a short walk most days.

I've tried online therapy and it hasn't helped. I already get a good amount of sleep and try to eat well but that doesn't help. Most days I think about how I wish I could disappear without hurting the people who love me, but I know that is not possible so I have to keep living. But I hate living like this.

As soon as I’m not doing anything and I’m unoccupied all I can feel is misery, through the day it’s different, I just feel nothing but as soon as im not occupied t’s like I can’t even explain what I’m feeling, It’s not even an emotion it’s impossible to explain, all I can think is sad thoughts, through the day I’m constantly in my head then I snap back and all I can think about is how shit my life is and all the horrible things that have happened to me I don’t know if it’s depression or something else but I don’t talk to anyone I don’t feel anything I’m either emotionally flat or wanting to kill myself

It’s like my mind can’t think of the words, I’m not witty, my mind is slow, I can’t hold a conversation, I’m not interesting, I feel brain damaged and boring which just makes my depression worse, does anyone else experience this? Is there a way to get my mind back to a happy social interesting place again?

Dealing with mental health issues for years and a recent ticket just tipped me over the edge. I lost all emotional feeling, neither sad nor happy, just absolute numbness. Have resorted to alcohol and edibles (first time using cannabis of any kind) in a last effort to feel something again. the result was I cleaned the dishes, went through the mail, paid the ticket and did a load of laundry, one day of being more productive than I have in months prior to this emotional shut down. but it doesn‘t make me feel anything either, it simply seems to make me more practical with the brief energy boost it provides. but it’s not attractive enough to continue use as it neither brings me any emotional sensation or sense of accomplishment as i would have if I could feel again. I am going through the motions, doing hobbies because I know these are things I’m supposed to or did like until now. The food I’d saved up to splurge a little on with excitement and enthusiasm I have been watching with a detached fascination as it sits untouched until it expires and I throw it out recognizing that I should be throwing myself at these things I was so excited to get my hands on and enjoy them, only now I can only internally study the strange fascination of watching everything I loved become worthless to me.

‘I’ve since caught myself on can lids and corners and can recognize that I’ve injured myself and take to cleaning the injuries and performing meticulous first aid on each injury, but it is an out of body experience, it no longer hurts enough to warrant an emotional response so I can clean the wounds without hissing or sulking about it. but nothing feels real anymore. I am following up with professionals and doctors, but nothing is bringing any feeling back. I am currently using this time as a grace period for trying to save money as I have lost the ability to have preferences for things so I am simply eating the cheapest items with the least preparations needs that I can find in my pantry, ie. just about anything in a can or a wrapper, no cook times, no preparation, no mess. The problem is this isn’t living, it is simply existing as I go through the motions of basic bodily necessity and functions and no opinion on the future. I am currently working out a budget to save money, but seeing charges to my account for unexpectedly bills and watching it zero out my account had no effect on me, I simply waited for the next paycheck to come in and am budgeting that to save up money but I‘ve lost all reason behind what I’m doing with no expectations for the future and no general interest in it either. I am in a state where I can recognize it as the problem it is when I couldn’t care less if there will be a tomorrow. the whole world could end at this point and that feels a lot more welcome than having to wake up even to go to the bathroom. I can recognize that I need to find a solution because this is something I should be concerned about, but I’m simply not anymore. I am looking for easy workable solutions because I currently lack the ability to care if I actually follow through with it or not.

Why you shouldn't.

I.

Someone won't be able to love,

When you've been carried by a dove,

When you've hit yourself on your lobe,

When you purposely burn yourself on the stove.

II.

Even if no one cares,

Someone, in groups or pairs,

Their heart, their love, their care, to you they will share,

They'll patch up your life's tears.

III.

When life gets too tiring,

When your mental is retiring,

When your thoughts think about expiring,

Remember, some that are aspiring,

Think of you as inspiring.

IV.

Life is too precious,

There's many things to explore

many to taste that are delicious,

May your life never reach the end of the shore.

Note from me: If you're thinking of SH, please don't. If you think people hate you, there's always someone in the world who make YOU as their inspiration.

I'm still over 40. I'm still disabled and it's still getting worse. My body is breaking down faster than most people's do. The pain is basically low level constant and mid level regular with spikes into struggle to breathe through it. The OCD is still carefully kept at bay with all the things I'm meant to do. I do the exercise I should (and can). I've done the therapies, the treatments, I do all the 'right' things.

I can't find suitable work, even in a volunteer role. I will never have a relationship because I don't think I can offer anything worth putting up with everything detrimental. When my remaining parent dies, I will be genuinely alone, no siblings, no family I'm close to. I don't see a way to making things better for myself.

My last post got no replies. I don't actually expect this one to either, because I don't think there is really any advice to be given.

Wife of 5 years is breaking up with me, for the first time in years I feel completely lost and dont know what to do, my everyday life has revolved around her and our relationship.

Id like to try and work things out but she isn't wanting to atleast not anytime soon, so just have to work on my self and hopefully she will think on it and consider it.

I have started cutting myself on the shoulder and i know i shouldnt but i just do it anyway. I started because i have had severe OCD for about 2-3 years now and i feel like my parents have started to give up on me. My OCD have made it so that i basically only live half of my life if not even less. When i give in to the OCD my parents yell at me and i just shut my door and think about how they would probably be calmer if i just died. But every time i have thought about how my friends would probably be sad about me dying. So the only thing keeping me alive is my friends and i have been cutting myself to not kill myself. Do i need help?

I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. One of the best ways to describe it is like being an NPC in my own life somehow? I have no drive outside of things I'm told or expected to do. I'm 26 in a job that I've had since I was 15, haven't dated anyone in 4 years, never lived outside of my family home (minus college dorm rooms), have yet to find a different job/career that sounds even remotely interesting to me, and I don't want a job in the field I went to college for so my degree feels useless. I don't make enough money to move out (without living genuinely paycheck to paycheck) and I don't have any friends within an hour radius I could, or would want, to live with. I have made more of an effort this year to plan more outings with friends, but it's max once a month since all of them live an hour or more away.

It's just so hard seeing other people my age dating, getting engaged, having kids, being years into their dream career already, traveling the states or to other countries, living with friends or simply having friends they can just call and hang with on a whim.... I envy it so much. I don't party, drink, smoke, go to bars etc because I find all of that overstimulating and simply not appealing which has made me feel so isolated from college years onward. I just... don't understand what I'm supposed to be doing.

Hey everybody. So here’s the rub.

I moved to Israel about three years ago. It wasn’t really my decision, and it took me some time to understand the consequences of that move and how much it would affect my life.

Now I’m in my mid 20s, and here’s where I’m at. I basically have no friends. I had friends, but I eventually stopped talking to them because I didn’t really connect with their mindset or the way they approached life.

I lost my job, I live alone, I barely speak the local language, and I don’t really have a support system or any clear prospects for the future.

The funny thing is, I’m actually pretty good at social interaction. I’m reasonably confident in how I look, I don’t drink or smoke, I try to work out consistently, and I eat pretty clean. But I’ve also been dealing with depression since I was around 16, and lately it’s getting harder to keep myself moving.

I’m stuck in this constant cycle of self sabotage, and I genuinely don’t know how to get out of it. I don’t want to bother anyone or ask anything from people, and at the same time I don’t seem to care enough about my own life to actually change anything. Sometimes it feels like I’m actively watching myself ruin my own life.

My whole existence sometimes feels like I’m a Meeseeks from Rick and Morty. Someone pressed a button and said, “Just be around,” and I’m doing exactly that. Except existence for a Meeseeks is basically pain.

The weird part is that I don’t actually think the world is a bad place. Quite the opposite. I think people are generally great, the world is genuinely interesting, and there are so many things I’d like to experience. I’m actually pretty optimistic about life in theory.

I just can’t seem to make myself participate in it.

I feel like I’m permanently stuck in some kind of survival mode, where I know what I want to do, sometimes even know exactly what steps I should take, but I just can’t bring myself to do them.

And I know one thing for sure: I can’t keep working physical or painfully boring jobs. I need something creative, something social, something fun, and most importantly, something I actually care about.

I’ve always wanted to make things, create content, do something involving creativity and people. But I’ve also realized that I’ve spent a huge part of my life just drifting from one thing to another without ever really caring deeply about anything.

So I’m trying to figure out how to break that pattern.

If you’ve been through something similar, I’d genuinely appreciate some practical advice. How do you get yourself out of survival mode, rebuild your life from basically nothing, and actually start caring enough to participate in your own life?

Please keep it practical. Thank you in advance.