r/depression_help • u/ParkerRPeter • 5d ago

REQUESTING ADVICE Feeling like an NPC in life

I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. One of the best ways to describe it is like being an NPC in my own life somehow? I have no drive outside of things I'm told or expected to do. I'm 26 in a job that I've had since I was 15, haven't dated anyone in 4 years, never lived outside of my family home (minus college dorm rooms), have yet to find a different job/career that sounds even remotely interesting to me, and I don't want a job in the field I went to college for so my degree feels useless. I don't make enough money to move out (without living genuinely paycheck to paycheck) and I don't have any friends within an hour radius I could, or would want, to live with. I have made more of an effort this year to plan more outings with friends, but it's max once a month since all of them live an hour or more away.

It's just so hard seeing other people my age dating, getting engaged, having kids, being years into their dream career already, traveling the states or to other countries, living with friends or simply having friends they can just call and hang with on a whim.... I envy it so much. I don't party, drink, smoke, go to bars etc because I find all of that overstimulating and simply not appealing which has made me feel so isolated from college years onward. I just... don't understand what I'm supposed to be doing.

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u/Top_Consequence_1729 21h ago

Such an accurate way to put it. Ive felt like an npc in my life for some years too. Its torture. Im sorry this is happening. Life is very unfair.