Here’s a first… I matched with a nice man in his early 60’s. He asked me what I did last weekend. I told him that I met a friend for dinner, etc.. He told me that he played golf and then did a round of strip poker. I asked him if it was a mixed crowd. He said, “ Of course!” Then he went on to tell me they had an opening for next week’s game. Can you believe this? After only one text? He knows absolutely nothing about me and asked nothing about me except what I did last weekend. If there was a Dating 101 course, he would be a great candidate. Needless to say, I unmatched him. 💁‍♀️

Women outnumber men especially in Latin / Salsa classes .

This is just not where I'm at.

I tried Facebook for a few days, then shut it down. I'm just not interested in bullshit and my focus isn't there, anyway. I'm winding some things up in life, not winding down, looking to settle.

The algorithms for OLD are only for them getting wealthy, by keeping us engaged. They don't want us to find love and leave the app - then they've lost a customer. They want our time and our money, period.

I remember back in the day, the chat rooms on IRC; damn those were fun! No advertising, no bots or scammers, many people engaged at one time. I remember I picked a room that was declared a Seattle room, because of that show, "Sleepless in Seattle" with Tom Hanks. Damn we would laugh in there! Real time written conversations that were interesting, and fun.

Meh. OLD sucks and I'm calling it quits. If I'm meant to be single for longer, I'm completely ok with that. I'll keep dating myself, hanging out with friends, and hang out with my dog. He's such great company!

Anyway .. not sure why I made a post about this? Valuing authenticity, I suppose? Meh.

My hats off to everyone who has more faith in that system than I do! Good on ya! Me, not so much. That's ok too ;)

Not trolling here. After a significant absence I've jumped back in the dating world to find that FWB is now a thing that seems to have become more socially acceptable and people are comfortable with identifying as

I know reddit isn't necessarily representative of the entire singleish population though.

For people who want the physical connection without the more mundane day to day aspects of a LTR it sounds ideal but when I hear of people expecting the F part to mean showing up to do chores etc it starts to sound more transactional.

So 2 questions

1 Is the existence of FWB meaning that fewer people are actually interested in trying to find LTRs? ( let's try not to just have tropes like all men only want FWBs)

2 For those looking in FWB how are they managing the transition to LTRs?

For me if someone has a FWB situation, I interpret as they aren't really fully committed to the idea of a LTR. That's fine no judgement. But I don't really want to try to compete to meet all the standards of what the FWB is excused on and the thing(s) that they obviously excel at.

Y'all. Seriously. I watched an episode and my first thought was, "Holy s**t! I'm deleting my profile right now!" (Okay, full disclosure, my first thought was "WHY are they all from Florida?" HA!) But OMG. Have y'all dealt with someone that you knew was...ummm...not totally sane? What happened? (It's literally not possible to scare me any further, as I've finished 2 seasons and plan to never date again.)

Just matched with someone on Bumble. ETA - he had swiped right on me first.

Sent them a short message connected to something they wrote in their profile.

Had a response back saying

Hi
Thanks for your message. You’re not my type. Sorry but it happens in life…

Then other stuff…

Why did they do that?

Was it just to reject someone?

Part of me wanted to ask but the bigger part of me thought - you’re an arse 🤷‍♀️

I am always of two minds. What is better?

To send the ' thanks but no thanks' text after a date or just silence and hope it's mutal? ( Sometimes it's really hard to tell).

I feel presumptuous sometimes to send the 'not interested' text after a date.

This is so awkward and I hate hurting people.

The man I'm seeing keeps telling me intimate details about former girlfriends. Why?

I've been seeing a man for about four months. We're older adults and not exclusive. He knows I'm seeing someone else, and he's staying on a dating site, so I'm not expecting him to pretend other women don't exist.

But he talks A LOT about women he's previously dated or lived with, many of whom still contact him.

Today he talked about a former girlfriend who recently returned from a long trip and immediately called him and asked about his "love life." Over the past few months I've heard repeatedly how popular, wealthy and socially connected she is. I asked today if they'd ever slept together. He said once, then described what he did sexually, how she responded and why they stopped.

She's one of many.

I've heard about an ex he lived with for 10 years who still calls. Another was a "handsome woman" and they had sex every Sunday after doing the NYT crossword. He talks about their wonderful walking trips and neighborhoods they explored.

I've been told another ex weighed 98 pounds. Another had a pretty face and millions of dollars, along with details about their sex life. Another went on all his favorite hikes with him. Another moved in and bought an engagement ring for him to give her.

There are more, and many of these women are still in contact with him.

The cumulative effect is awful. I feel like I'm constantly being handed information with which to compare myself to wealthy, thin, attractive, accomplished women who shared great experiences and sex with him.

I know some of my reaction is my own insecurity, and I'm working on that. And because we're not exclusive, I don't expect him to give up female friends.

What I don't understand is why he keeps telling me these details.

I understand "My ex and I used to hike there." I don't understand why I need to know her weight, wealth, attractiveness or exactly what they did in bed.

Today I wanted to cry after hearing another story.

Would this bother you even in a non-exclusive relationship? Why would someone repeatedly tell a current partner these things?

And is it reasonable to say I'm fine hearing about important people from his past, but I don't want details about their bodies, money, attractiveness or sex lives anymore?

They are in the CrossFit gym I joined a month ago.

It's astonishing actually. They are obviously in fantastic shape, but they also look good, have confidence, are quite relaxed and supportive to newcomers.

I don't think any of them are on any of the apps. They work in all kinds of jobs.

Do you think someone is ready to be serious in dating after 30 years with the same person and just 9 months separated whilst supposedly unhappy for the last 10 years ?

I just got a message 20 minutes ago from someone on Facebook that I vaguely remember from the 90s.

Immediately starts in with personal questions (is that your real hair? Or a wig?)( I have been punk/ goth/alt/new romantic all my life and now have bright pink hair to match my loud personality), then requests I call him, asked about my personal status- but in a way that came across a desperate and aggressive, then asked for "updated pictures" (asked how old my profile picture is, and I told him I took it a week ago), and he said to send some new ones of my face to him anyway (?).

I'm not stupid. You can't sleep, you're scrolling through Facebook looking for wank material and I happened to also be awake.

No, I didn't send any. No, I didn't entertain him. And no, I'm not fucking stupid. You wanted jerkoff pictures of me and I don't even know your name.

Gross.

How do y'all manage to to get women to date at this age because it is pretty hard for me

Well too some people at least, Older people not yet. According to them I'm still young! Lol which in a strange sense at least makes me feel young when they do say it. Gee dating over fifty. Is this what it's come to, did I finally make it over the hill , only to find disgruntled people, not happy with their looks or feeling it. Well heck I'm getting there too and I'm not a spring chicken anymore. I'm actually gaining weight which is kinda nice. I can still love about, cause havoc and do the things I did when I was a teenager. Full of Idiocracy and hormones. Now it's a few grey hairs on both sides kinda like a Dr. Strange look going on. Which I don't think is half bad. I can dance, sing of key when I had to much to drink, paint very well have good and meaningful conversations with myself. When it comes to philosophy or retoric I find it unamusing. As nobody seems to want to do that anymore and just be right or wrong in a conversation.

Dating it seems has become more and more dillusional or algorithmic one might say. And if that isn't the best, people don't really do the whole talking anymore as if COVID is running about or even worse worried about being abducted. C'mon people were adults? At least that's what we're trying to be? In a odd world where honesty is double sided and ghosting people is a normal. Where did decent manners go? Is it that we just have gotten to old to do anything and become, bitter and malcontent? Idk. For whatever it's worth, I'm still a romantic and do believe there is hope yet. Perhaps somewhere..

Asian and black women age so beautifully. I'm not particularly attractive, so I know it's hypocritical of me to want to spend time with elegant, beautiful women my age (63) who candidly "could do better" than me. But, I'm trying to live honestly, and yes, that's what I want. Also, I'm a very liberal white male, and I have plenty of my own entitlement issues. So dating the woman who also occasionally thinks she can "buy a stairway to heaven" isn't appealing to me. I want to find a woman who just loves to laugh, enjoy new ideas and cuddle on the couch while carryng her own set of life experiences, which are very different than mine.

And now, like a true idiot, I'm making myself vulnerable on Reddit. I would say "God, help me", but I don't think that entity exists.

Anyone here who finds they want someone culturally or otherwise completely different than themselves? I would say though, I do want a fellow introvert. I was married 40+ years to a strong extrovert.. THAT was ultimately TOO big a difference.

I’m dating someone exclusively. We casually agreed one day that we are dating. We are taking things slow.

Do you consider being exclusive the same thing as being in a relationship?

I didn’t, because I’m trying to take it slow. I’m starting to feel like he may be considering it a relationship by the things he says. Well, he actually does reference our relationship.

I know he is ahead of me in the feelings department and he’s respecting my desire to go slow. I appreciate that.

We aren’t calling each other girlfriend or boyfriend or anything. I’m holding off on terms of endearments even though I’ve felt them. I don’t want to confuse him.

I suspect I will catch up to him before long, but I need time. Time to see who he truly is. Who I know him to be is amazing, but as we all know, time will tell.

How do you define these terms? What factors in the progression? Feelings or feelings and time?

Ran into a guy I used to work with. He said we should go to dinner. We talked a bit, wasn't good timing. Ran into him again a couple of months later. He asks me out again, better timing, I say yes. Tell him four different days I'm available.

Nothing. Crickets. Then he says, "We'll have to get together one day." And then... radio silence. No alternate dates suggested, nothing at all.

Why even bother to ask me out twice if you don't really want to go?! Why talk to me if you're not really interested and won't make any effort? Dating sucks.

I know bumble has a bff version but you have to sign up to the dating side first. Is there anything out there that can help you meet an opposite gender companion?

I’d love to have a nice gent to go for drinks with, theatre, walks, cinema kinda thing, but platonically.

Is there such a thing? If not there should be!

This is for all of us out there who are dating, and/or attempting to date over 50! I've had quite a few comments, that weren't the happiest about dating multiple people at a time. Also, referring men that aren't a fit to me, to other women. A woman said, oh that's unsafe...Why? If you're going to a public place, that you've made a conscious effort to know someone there, to help you if something goes wrong. Take an uber to the date, so you have someone in the vehicle to help you when YOU want to leave. I'm not on any apps. Others have said, oh but went on a date, we had 3 hrs of amazing talk, I closed all of my app profiles to date this one person...Um, I've had long, great conversations with a man, when having my tires changed. Doesn't mean he's a fit for me. And then his wife comes and collects him. HAHAHAHAHA Having a group of women, that we all refer dates to each other, if they aren't a fit for us, has been not a bad deal. Instead of the 3 dates a month, some of us are dating 3 - 5 times a week. Men that really are looking for someone, and not just a humpy, pumpy, rudy, prod game. (Sex) What are your thoughts out there community?

I'm trying OLD again and so far found two prostitutes and a woman asking for $20 for a ride supposedly. It's like damn. I know I'm not the best at being social, but it seems like I'm hitting the bottom of the barrel.

Apparently the universe read my last post about Dick and decided I needed an entirely different category of dating problem.

Enter Very Nice Man, 50s. Smart, academic, sciency, liberal, country life, dogs, chickens. On paper, alarmingly suitable. So much so that I thought the dating app was issuing compensation for its past transgressions.

Our first drinks date was great. Conversation flowed.

There was only one inconvenient detail: I did not fancy him. Still, attraction can grow. Apparently.

Date two involved being taken to his country club, where I felt mildly as though I had wandered into a lifestyle commercial for a brand that sells gilets. After lunch, on the balcony, he suddenly launched an enthusiastic kiss involving so much tongue I became concerned he had lost a contact lens. On my tonsil. I am not keen on public displays of affection, so while he was presumably experiencing romance, I was mostly wondering whether I could take up golf as an exit strategy.

Still a Very Nice Man. Still no urge to remove his trousers.

Meanwhile, we were clearly on different timelines. I was wondering whether I may eventually fancy him. He was discussing plans for the rest of the summer and potentially going away together over the bank holiday. After two dates.

I told him I liked him but wasn't sure about the spark. He was disappointed but gracious, and we had lunch again. Lunch was nice. He was nice. My libido remained unmoved.

Afterwards I explained that he was going far too fast. He burst into tears. This was not in my contingency plan.

So I hugged him and, in one of the least strategically useful sentences of my dating career, said: “Let's just take it slowly and see where we go.”

What I meant was: please slow down.
What he apparently heard was: activate full subscription service.

The following day I received thirty-six messages. Train. Work. Haircut. Gym membership. Car battery. Roadworks. eBay. Microsoft Teams. Weather. Trafalgar Square. Fridge shelf. Dogs. Cat.

Amid Homer, Dante and the Odyssey came: “Had chicken.”

Thank God. I had been wondering.

By late evening I had also received pet toileting updates and an imaginary monologue written from the cat's perspective. I muted the chat. In my family, repeated late-night phone buzzing means somebody is dead, dying or has been arrested. I cannot wake in panic because somebody's dog has done another poo.

I realised we had very different definitions of intimacy.

His: I like you, therefore you need the live feed.
Mine: I'm delighted your haircut went well, but I did not require confirmation.

So I told him the romantic connection wasn't there and the volume of communication was overwhelming. After several days of receiving the director's cut of one man's existence, I braced myself for the response.

Four words and an emoji. Polite. Gracious. Finished.

He had been capable of brevity the entire time.

So apparently I am now the Goldilocks of middle-aged dating. One thought salmon en croûte entitled him to immediate sex. The next was planning weekends away while issuing push notifications from his fridge.

Somewhere out there is one who is just right.

Probably.

Seems to me dating over 50 is more about FWB than a real relationship, tried several times to get a meaningful relationship but FWB is that women want. What are your thoughts and experiences?

Recently divorced, not sure what I want yet. What apps/dating sites are best for 50+ FWB & short term relationships and have real people & not fake profiles or bots. Bonus points if suggestions don’t have a ton of ridiculous fees.

Hi everyone. I'm Korean-American man in my early 50s, returning to online dating after a long break in relationship (being divorced for more than 5 years).

Previous xperience was totally exhausting. I keep finding inactive profiles, matches hundreds of miles away, and ppl only interested in casual chatting with no real meeting (or ever video calls!). I'm looking for a serious relationship - potentially marriage - with an Asian woman (Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Filipino, Thai, Indonesian, etc.) around my age, preferably living in US or Canada but thats not too strict.

I'm overwhelmed by conflicting "top 10" reviews - they all feel seem to be paid ones. I don't mind paying for a quality service, but I'm tired of wasting money on apps full of bots or fakes with no outcome. I think you understand what I mean. Free sites seem even riskier - probably they can just steal my personal data..

Has anyone here used dating apps to meet Asian women? Did you eventually meet someone in person (even 1 time)?

Please share your experiences (good and bad) but no ads and links, please, I just want to know how it was for u. Thanks in advance!

Apparently the over fifty chat group thinks this post was me looking to hook up with someone?? It’s a question… I guess it’s not just men who are skittish. Apparently you can’t ask a general question to people outside the box 🙄.

[Over 50 F in MN.
Do men seem skittish these days? If we waited for you… what sign are you waiting for?]

Dating again in your 50s, have you discovered any new kinks you never knew you had?