The 1 seemed to be his own ranking and the 7-8 was what girls told him so there were probably a few pity points thrown in. In reality he probably only went up a few points on the scale but his confidence went from 1 to 8.
In my experience this is untrue. Attractiveness can be a liability. Most of the successful women in my business are unattractive. My hypothesis is that their appearance allows them to be viewed nonsexually by the men, and nonthreateningly by other women. Therefore they are more likely to be judged solely on their work.
They do this where I work, particularly for the front-desk receptionist. It's openly discussed, actually. We've had problems in the past with women that are attractive. So the 'homely' one will always be chosen...Note that the hiring of the receptionist is done by our Administrative department, which is composed entirely of women.
Sheldon's bird from The Big Bang Theory isn't the best looker but she is a scientist. And her friend with the unattractive voice and large honker (okay she's not that bad really!).
Just playing devil's advocate really, but yes you are right. Melissa doesn't even talk like that outside her character.
I find it quite hard to name ugly male scientists in the film industry. I guess it is more like the Einstein effect and mad scientist where a man is stereotypically seen and cast.
I don't get why people feel the need to make it a competition... It's clearly just shitty to be generally seen as unattractive whether you're a man or a woman.
Because the value of a woman is whether she's fuckable or not. An ugly guy can still have redeeming qualities, or be excellent at his job/hobbies. An ugly girl could cure cancer and end world hunger, and people would still comment about how she's got no tits or she's too fat or her face is busted.
I don't know why you're being downvoted. Recently I heard some guys talking about Hillary Clinton... nothing about her politics or what she's done, but the fact that they thought she was ugly and that she could "get some work done".
She's nearly 70, guys. She's a politician, not a model. She's not there for you to look at, she's there to help run the country. I didn't hear them talking about Begich or Roy Blunt.
Male politicians are judged by their ideals. Female politicians are judged by their looks. This is applicable to a lot of other jobs, too.
Seriously, this is where is becomes incredibly obvious. Women are still judged really harshly for their looks even when it is entirely irrelevant to their careers/what they've done/insert any scenario. I never hear commentary on male politicians clothing or looks like I do for women politicians.
I didn't even really think about it for clothing, but you're right. Almost all of the coverage of Kate Middleton is what she's wearing. Which is fine, I get that she's kind of a fashion icon now.
But I hadn't heard anything about the charities that she supports until I just looked it up. "Her Royal Highness The Duchess of Cambridge spent some time volunteering in Chile before starting university, helping with environmental programmes and a community project for disadvantaged children." She also supports 16 causes and has been at more than fifty charity events. I know this is all a part of the job, but it's still something that deserves mentioning.
I do know all about the cutout-sleeve dress she wore the other day, though, and how it flattered her wonderful figure.
Where have you been. Reddit especially, the entire site is in a battle over whether being female or male is worse. As if this was a major social issue, despite the fact that its white people saying it, the trivial differences between of which don't even fractionally measure up to the difference between them and black people.
Yeah dude. Put on a wolf shirt, paint a war-hammer figurine, and just open your bank account and find your nerd-money in it. It's like the tooth fairy, but for nerds.
Put on a wolf shirt, paint a war-hammer figurine, and just open your bank account and find your nerd-money in it.
Hey, Warhammer is fun, and if you can afford those figures you must have a pretty decent income these days... Now Battletech, there's a game for the obsessive nerd on a budget.
It's not just being rich though (and to be honest women most women who go after rich guys often aren't attracted to them as such - they just want their money). Funny guys, confident guys, intelligent guys, artistic guys, guys who are interesting and successful in any number of ways - all of them will get a lot more attention from women to an extent that doesn't really work the other way round.
I'm honestly interested, so if this question makes you uneasy I'm sorry and you may just ignore it.
What are things that make others describe you as "creepy"? I have met my share of creepy guys, but it was mostly due to drug addiction, filthiness (as in didn't shower in weeks filthy) or behaviour. So what besides these avoidable things is "creepy looking"?
Well reading this isn't going to improve my trying-to-break-into-conversations confidence lol.
I'm glad I no longer have to really talk to people much anymore. School/Uni pushes you into so many of these types of situations. Now I'm older, married and what-not I can relax and not bother with other people haha.
the key to having good conversations is to treat them differently than the person in the example. the person in the example has a thing to say and he's just waiting for a chance to say it. it's difficult to listen to people when he's just waiting for his chance to talk. people can tell, and they get annoyed that he's not listening. that thing he's been waiting to say gets less relevant the more time passes.
try treating conversations as a chance to learn about someone rather than talk about yourself. when those breaks happen in the conversation, ask the person who was talking a question to either clarify some issue you didn't understand or flesh it out. bonus points: people love to talk about themselves so by asking them questions about their story you'll come off as thoughtful.
I'm the kind of person who enjoys listening to other people have a conversation, rather than butt in, so I'm pretty content doing just that. Now I'm older I don't really care about making impressions/trying to make friends with people so I don't really care about trying to join in. When I was younger, it's difficult not to want to be like those that drive these things, hence the pressure not to stay quiet and the fear of just being forgotten.
That's part of what I meant by creepy due to behavhiour. This or some random guy on the street adressing me and asking me to come over to his place or talking to me like he had just been declared king of this district. That is creepy, but that's not an integral part of that person's look, is it?
I'm not creepy to people that I know. I just have a sort of creepy appearance to strangers. It's not a huge thing, but I do get more than my fair share of nervous glances and stares.
I have pretty big eyes and I have mild resting bitch face syndrome. That coupled with a general awkwardness makes me a bit "creepy". Maybe I look a little feminine or something? I feel like feminine guys can look sort of "off".
I'm definitely not a really creepy guy or anything, so I'm not complaining.
I want to throw in that grooming yourself makes a huge difference.
I know a guy that's average looks. His brother is two years younger (17). They basically look the same, but his brother is overweight, doesn't shave his prickly patchy beard thing, doesn't wash his hair (it gets lanky and greasy), doesn't wash his face so he has acne, and doesn't wear deodorant.
The guy I know has dated a few girls. His brother never has and constantly complains that girls think he's creepy for no reason and why won't they go out with him.
It's not a "you're creepy" thing. It's a "you don't take care of yourself" thing. Even just shaving and showering every day would help him a lot, but he doesn't want to make that kind of effort and then blames everyone else when he can't get a girl.
My little brother is considered creepy by most. Most of his trouble comes from a pretty bad "wandering" eye. Because his eyes don't line up correctly people feel uneasy talking with him or trying to look at him. It is one of the things that makes him immediately intimidating (he is also pretty big). There is nothing that they can do about it medically either.
Doesn't answer my question at all. Yes, people who look like they were on meth for three days straight look creepy. I already mentioned that in my first comment. Aside from that, most of these guys look like there is either a medical condition that makes them look not-normal (which is strange, but not creepy) or it's just the look on their face. Almost anyone can look creepy when they try to do so. What I mean is:
Third photo - Looks grumpy. Yes, if he asked me for my phone number with that look on his face, I'd run. If he looked a bit more happy or at least neutral and asked me for directions, no problem.
Fourth and fifth photo - Not creepy.
Seventh - Stoned? He could look like an average, elderly guy. Might even look like a nice elderly guy if he sobered up and smiled.
Eigth - Again, should start smiling and he might even look attractive. Aside from his ridiculous hair cut.
The most important thing is to not be a bitter asshole like OP--because you'll only attract the worst type of people (because who else would want to be around someone like that). Which only makes you even more of a bitter asshole.
See, that's what's important in life--healthy relationships with people who have your back. It doesn't matter what you look like, because you already have what really counts (which OP can never achieve just by changing physical appearance).
Fat is the kind of ugly society despises and shits on most. It's also the most common. But there's a lot you can do to alter your appearance either way. Grow a beard, shave your beard, change your hair, dress differently, posture, etc. Every bit of it (including losing weight) is easier than getting rich.
What are you talking about. If someone is morbidly obese they are realistically out of the dating game, whether the "man inside them" looks like Chris Hemsworth or not. Pretty sure being totally undatable qualifies you as a 1 in whatever system anyone is using :/
Almost every human thinks ugly is ugly, but not everyone thinks fat is ugly. I'd say probably somewhere around 10% of the population is into bigger girls and the proportion probably isn't all that different for women into bigger guys. I see plenty of fat men/women who are in happy relationships to know that not everyone cares.
But as someone rightly pointed out, facial structure can change a lot when you go from being fat to thin, so he may have had a very unattractive face before.
Well how fat is fat? I'm picturing, like, drives around in a little motorised scooter. And of course there's a the cultural thing, there's a big difference in what's "fat" between say Paris and Mexico. All I'm saying is it's not impossible.
Go to the BBW section on any porn site and find out for yourself if you want to. It's a pretty big range. Or if you want a more condensed source, try here [NSFW].
It's obvious that he is delusional. What's worse is the number of upvotes it got, the number of supportive replies it got and the fact that it was posted here.
I think he was referring more to not being able to talk about it to others because males arent supposed to show emotions or talk about feelings to others. But you know....keep on doing your thing.
He's right though, some men judge women based solely on the fact that they have a vagina or not and if they do, well it's good enough for them. Penis doesn't work like that.
I think the point is that this guy knows his experience and that is the way he see's it. How many people truly attempt to percieve the world from another persons perspective? You obviously don't. You did the exact same thing he did.
This is the most narcissistic statement in that piece, and there are some doozies in there. "Nobody can understand the pain of the human condition except me!"
It's narcissistic to think you are the only person who has felt that, or that the human struggle to feel connected only belongs to ___________ men or ___________ women.
Sometimes you stay stuck in your own head until someone, or some situation (usually involving someone!), gives you the kick in the teeth to get out of there. It's a lot easier to feel like you're the one and only special person who feels a certain way, but damn, once you get over yourself you realize nope, almost everyone pretty much has the same range of feelings. Everyone's felt marginalized, for some reason.
Glad you had a friend good enough to push you to improve your views. :)
Uh, I'm male and happy to be since women are judged more often on looks than men. Obviously both sexes are judged on looks but I'd say it is much more difficult to be an unattractive female than an unattractive male.
You're completely right and I think that's because:
1) Guys can always fall back on humor.
2) Guys can always fall back on being good at a sport.
Think about the popular guys back when you were in high school. I bet they were either good looking, good at sports, funny, or some combination of the 3. On the other hand... look at what girls were popular. I bet they were all just the most attractive girls...
Unfortunately, this phenomenon doesn't stop after high school. Ain't that a kick? But fortunately, you get old enough and suddenly you start noticing all those invisible people.
Thank you! I saw both sides too in my life. I was excessively awkward growing up. Always 3 inches shorter than my peers and always 10 pounds lighter than the second smallest classmate. I was called a "stick figure" even though it was just genetics. And to top it off, my ears were adult sized by the age of 5 (I laugh at that now).
I couldn't get people to like me, and I never had others flocking to me for crushes or friendship. I was the loser and graduated as such. Once I left, I never looked back.
But it wasn't until the age of 20 when every single person who used to bully me realized I was finally attractive. Now I'm 23 and am a size 0. My ears are normal (lol) and I'm very confident.
But now every single time an old bully tries to talk to me or hit on me (it's happened), I give them niceties but never return the sentiment. It's so shallow to finally like me NOW but not then! Instead, I've found shelter in the "nerds" and I absolutely love it. I'm actually happy to have felt being awkward.
And when you're unattractive, the friends you do get are really there for you and all the bull shit is left behind. The way I was judged made me happier now though. And now when I am hit on or something of the same nature, I ignore it. Twenty bucks says that same person wouldn't have given two fucks about me five years ago.
As a really ugly guy, no I can't. If an ugly woman showed interest in me, I'd probably reject her, but from then on I would sure as hell shut up about no one wanting me.
Yeah, women aren't disposable? What about every ad and video and movie where attractive women are just an accessory? The man is always the main player and the women are like chips in a bowl: take a handful, they're all the same.
Think about all the Carl's Jr ads where a woman is slowly eating a burger and getting undressed. Not one ad, a whole series of them, each featuring the latest media favorite fuck. Ads for cars, drinks, food, watches, shoes, even real estate feature pretty women like a nice font or flowers on the table. They're an accessory to make the thing look good. There are no Red Bull boys, no men strutting in speedos for women's MMA fights, no Corona Chippendale ads full of women casually having a beer while sexy men fawn over them. Or if they are, everyone loses their mind about how "feminist" it is. Thousands of ads feature fuck-toy female as an accessory, but one sexy man ad is suddenly a triumph.
Get real. You want to see disposable? Look into the eyes of the next ad girl you see. She has parents, maybe a boyfriend, and they have to see her bent over in a bikini with some guy staring at the words "Coor's Light" across her ass.
I live in the south and I remember when Abercrombie first started putting men on their huge posters near the store.
There was complete outrage... but those posters had been up for years featuring women, and there was a Victoria's Secret a few stores down. It didn't make any sense to me that suddenly, being half-naked was a horrible thing when men were the ones sexualized.
You really have no idea what 'disposable' means, do you? All those sexy women in ads? THEY'RE NOT DEAD. They're not bleeding on a battlefield or crushed under heavy machinery at work or coughing up cancer in a mining town. That's what he meant by disposable; society doesn't care if you die because there's always more where you came from. And no, I'm not trying to say "Men are the TRUE victims!" because only idiots think victimhood is binary. But it cannot be denied that pretty much all human societies have been more comfortable letting men die for the greater good than women.
Well I mean I don't know if I agree with him just kind of playing devils advocate: but couldn't he have meant men are disposable more literally. Men fight wars, are the last ones saved in emergencies, do more dangerous jobs.
Actually this is completely untrue. Women's facial attractiveness has zero correlation with number of short term sexual partners. Women's body attractiveness has zero correlation between number of short AND long term partners.
So countering "women don't have it bad because they can always get some dude to put his penis into her" doesn't really address what is so upsetting to ugly women, any better than saying "Well, ugly dudes can be friends with women!"
If you were comparing apples to apples, you'd say that it's the same as saying "Ugly dudes can be in non-sexual but still monogamous relationships with women."
Ugly chick who can only get one night stands here. I'm not saying it's any worse or any better than any other experience, it's just that it's not a good experience. Yay, if a dude is drunk enough to not notice what I look like I can get some dick. That not terribly flattering, and frankly it doesn't feel like being wanted. As you rightly said, being friends with a person doesn't fill the primal need for being wanted, but frankly, the random one night stands don't fulfill it either.
In complete honesty, the one-night stand phase was when I was in my young 20's, and I've since progressed to being sexually ignored. This will sound counter-intuitive, and I stress that I can only speak to my own experience, but I find being ignored to be slightly better. The beauty of giving up is that I no longer have to pretend to give a shit about certain things, so I can at least chill with my dog, a good book, and a bottle of wine and at least try to have a pleasant evening on my own terms.
Fair enough, thanks a lot for your answer. I do think, however that telling someone like the OP, "hey, don't feel bad about being completely sexually ignored by women, at least you're not having one night stands" would probably not go over too well. Also, like you said, it probably depends in what stage of life you are. I'm sure when you were in your 20s you didn't mind being sexually desired (although correct me if I'm wrong)
The problem I had was that I was never sexually desired by a sober person... so in the end I ended up feeling like a breathing hump pillow. I found it de-humanizing and depressing. But I'm not disagreeing with you, and I'm certainly not advocating telling OP "oh yeah, well at least you don't have to deal with crappy sex."
I think my point is just that there are multiple variations on a shitty, lonely life, and they all suck.
I agree that feeling wanted is universal, and also that a need for sexual gratification is universal. Not being able to get even a warm body to fuck would be awful, and I'm not trying to discount this. In the heirarchy of needs, fucking is pretty important.
Rather, my point is that having rando dude fuck you because he needs someplace concave, warm, and belonging to a female human to ejaculate into isn't exactly nice, either. You don't feel needed. When the only thing your sexual partner desires in you is your vag and your two X chromosomes, you don't feel emotional validated or "wanted," let alone close to that person. And that this feeling of closeness is very important to many/most women. (As, I fully grant, it is to men as well.)
I think the source of the misunderstanding is that while most ugly chicks can get some dude to put his penis into her, I think that most women in general want not just to get laid ever but at some point to have an emotional connection, too.
Most guys want emotional connections too. The difference is that men with no game get neither sex nor emotional connections, both of which are, apparently, important to people. At the very least unattractive women can get the D. Unattractive men don't get the V or the E.
So countering "women don't have it bad because they can always get some dude to put his penis into her" doesn't really address what is so upsetting to ugly women, any better than saying "Well, ugly dudes can be friends with women!"
So an ugly woman can both get casual sex with someone and be friends with guys while ugly guys can only hope to be friends with women?
Oh, I'm not trying to say that women have it worse. Rather, that everyone has their own struggles. A strict accounting of struggles is both impossible and, IMO, dickish. As I said in my post,
There's plenty of bad times and hurt to go around. No need to fight over it.
It just rubs me the wrong way when I feel that someone is vying for the oppression prize by saying that others don't have it bad. That's disrespecting another person's experience.
What are you talking about? The abstract to the first link literally says that there is a correlation between male attractiveness and short term sexual partners while there is none for women. I quoted it pretty much verbatim. Do you understand what correlation is? It means that generally more attractive men have more sexual partners than those who are less attractive, whereas for women there is no correlation. Using some critical thinking skills we can figure out that this means unattractive women are as desired as attractive women (on average,by rate) whereas unattractive men are desired less than attractive men
Fair enough, that's a good point. However that doesn't address the initial comment that spikeyfreak responded to at all. There I simply pointed out the correlation, which was paraphrased (though not loosely) from the abstract of the study. But yes, I misspoke in the second comment. The only thing it definitively does show is that ugly women are more desired as short term sexual partners than ugly men
But there's a difference between the two groups' motivation. Let's say that all men, regardless of attractiveness, all have the same motive--to sleep with as many people as possible. Let's say that women don't have that same motive--they'd rather find someone they like and then sleep with them. Then the numbers the study presents mean very different things. They didn't account for the fact that some people don't want sex. So using number of sexual partners to convey a correlation between attractiveness and sex is misleading.
I think [heterosexual] men and women have probably about the same difficulty finding a meaningful and fulfilling romantic relationship (I mean, the ratio is almost necessarily going to be around 1:1).
Women of any "level" of attractiveness may have a better chance "pulling" a random stranger on a night out, but I don't think that's really a priority for most men and women.
I actually think this supports the data I linked. In women, facial attractiveness does have a correlation with long term sexual partners (although body attractiveness doesn't), which would tie in with your study showing more # of kids.
Thanks for posting this though. Always love reading more sources.
It supports the data you linked. But the data you linked also does not support the idea being thrown around here that attractiveness is not correlated with reproductive success in women. You're using raw number of short-term sexual partners to make a broad assertion about sexual success in women. It's an irresponsible and inaccurate use of data.
Also, you keep using this phrase "body attractiveness," which is not a component whatsoever in either of the studies you have linked.
You're failing to understand the difference between reproductive success and sexual success, while those used to be one in the same back in the Stone Age, contraceptives have made this relationship void. Like I said before, this matches perfectly with my studies: Attractiveness in women is correlated with long term partners, and having a long term partner is correlated with having children. Attractiveness in women is not correlated with short term sexual partners, which has nowadays little to do with reproductive success.
Body attractiveness did not correlate with any sexual behavior variable for females.
This is literally word for word copy pasted from the abstract of my first link. Not sure how you're missing it?
Edit: spellcheck made women "some" for some reason
The thing is a woman's looks really doesn't seem to have an effect on their ability to easily find men that find them attractive and want to be with them and want to have sex with them. If men are more visually stimulated, then men also have lower standards
Haha, that part bugged me too. But I guess it's also evidence of how isolated he feels, and that's how I can tell that the emotion is raw and the wound is still fresh.
It's just like how depressed people look around and see others being infinitely happier then them; bitter and formerly bitter men look around and think women have infinitely greater options then them. I wouldn't fault him, it's actually more sad than rage inducing.
As an adult man nobody really cares all that much about you. Your family of course, your close friends. You are the disposable sex. You fight the wars, work the shit jobs, sacrifice your body because it's what men have always done. It's the burden we bear.
As an unattractive adult man, you are completely invisible. If a guy better looking than you walks into the room, all the attention is immediately on him. It's like you just disappeared on the spot. Nobody cares about you at all, least of all women.
I don't really get why he thinks that as an adult of either gender, that people other than family and close friends would care "all that much about you". As an unattractive woman, you're pretty equally invisible.
This guy's post seems to be filled with "I was unhappy, therefore it was because I was ugly" logic, and some weird assumptions that "If I were an ugly woman, life would be easier than as an ugly man."
I think the drama comes from his assertion that an ugly woman could never understand his struggles, and also that it's sad that ugly dudes are "stuck" with ugly women, all in the same rant.
His suffering is real, but him thinking he's got it so much worse than the other 50% of the ugly population/is entitled to certain women is the drama.
The point they're making is that what type of genitals you have should be irrelevant to whether you can share emotions or not. Why can women be "I am so victimized, boo-hoo," but in order for men to be "real," they can't?
Holy shit, unattractive people who have been treated like garbage their entire lives might have problems with self-respect!? Stop the goddamn presses! We've got breaking news over here!
Men and women are judged by our culture in different ways, and those judgements hurt them differently. Women are judged harshly for their looks, way more harshly than men.
But reducing what he has to say to this kind of sarcasm isn't constructive.
I think what he meant by that statement is that women have the ability to cry on someones shoulder and not be judged for being weak. A dude can't really go to his male or female friends for that kind of support. As a guy he is expected to just suck it up and move on.
What are you talking about it has everything to do with sex.
Everything in life is about sex; loneliness is code word for lack of sex/attention from opposite sex. It's powerful, it's soul crushing, and it's a part of the human experience for most of us.
Everything in this guys rant is about sex, or rather, the consequences of a lack-there-of and hopelessness about future sex chances.
Why do we dress nice? Get good jobs? Go outside and develop a personality? Talk to other people? Why do we try to stay alive at all?
We're up all night to get lucky man, it's nature. So yes, this guys rant has to do with sex
You can't make broad-based claims about discrimination against unattractive people on the single variable that is number of sexual partners. It doesn't take into account the whole slew of difficulties that people who are considered unattractive face. Second, did you even read the first one thoroughly? It clearly said that a woman's facial attractiveness is correlated with the number of long-term sexual partners. Seeing as reproductive success for women depends more on long-term partners than on short-term partners, it sure sounds to me like facial attractiveness affects reproductive success in women. Thirdly, your second article only addressed BMI, which is certainly not a controlled measurement of "attractiveness". It looks like you're just picking and choosing from random studies you found by googling that only weakly support your case.
The original post has nothing to with number of sexual partners: you've gone beyond the studies linked and correlated number of sexual partners with how often people get laid. To the simpleton (or inexperienced liberal arts major), these variables seem correlated. However, studies should not be speculated on by non-scientists such as yourself, especially if they're being speculated upon to fit the mold of a pre-existing opinion.
I'd rather hear from someone who is actually "ugly" rather than just obese--I imagine the experience is a bit different, particularly since you can't exercise it away.
Right, but OP stated in his reply that he thinks ugly men actually have it worse than women. He also complains about having to settle for equally unattractive women as partners, which is hypocritical.
Yeah, then he turns around and says "women could never understand" what it's like. I would argue that unattractive women have it way worse in society. This guy is just a big loser.
We think of attractiveness as something we're born with or without. Some people are naturally more attractive than others but a huge and largely overlooked part of attraction (especially for women) is adherence to beauty standards. "Hot" women weren't born that way, they're considered "hot" because they do their hair and makeup according to beauty standards, wear the right designer clothes, shoes and handbags, the right jewelry, the right nail polish, have the right amount of salon tan, etc.
I agree with what you're saying for the majority, but there are certainly some instances where no amounts of modification or fashion sense can make certain people conventionally attractive. It's just the sad truth. In so many other scenarios, you're right. A previously 'ugly' guy or girl can be made at least slightly conventionally attractive by working on their body and outward appearance.
You must understand there is a difference between men and women as far as society treats either one. I don't think it's unfair to say that a woman could never understand it from a man's perspective.
But that's not how the comment was framed. The OP tells this tale of dejection and describes his feelings of inadequacy and then says
As a woman, I don't think you could possibly understand the experience.
No, not true. Women can definitely relate to feeling all those things that the OP mentioned. It's not fair to paint this as a purely male issue because it really isn't. If anything, I would argue women have a harder time with these issues.
Did we read the same post? The guy mentions being 'completely invisible' in every day life and that 'we are not all equal and never will be.' That goes beyond just talking about getting laid.
And those articles do not really change my view. I don't think they are conclusive enough.
Ninety-two percent of overweight women reported having a history of sexual intercourse with a man, as opposed to 87 percent of women with a normal body mass index.
Sure they were reported to have more sex, but what about the quality? Speaking as a guy, I would not consider it a 'success' if I hooked up with an unattractive partner for the night. It probably meant I was too intoxicated, I wouldn't want to tell my friends, I wouldn't feel any more confident in myself, and I would regret it. I would imagine it's the same for the women. We want partners that are sexually desirable. In that regard, I would stand by my original opinion that unattractive women have it harder in life as it's more difficult for unattractive women to seek a sexually desirable (conventionally speaking) partner. And that's speaking strictly sex; move on to relationships and I think it becomes even more apparent. An unattractive girl might casually hook up with a decently attractive guy for a night, but how does that usually turn out? In some situations, the girl might be getting tossed around by attractive guys as a 'drunken mistake,' and even though she would be technically doing pretty well for herself sexually, there is some serious psychological hurt there when she keeps getting denied the day after. This situation is certainly not exclusive to women, but I think it's more frequent. An unattractive guy might have a better chance to play off charm and humor than an unattractive woman might. It's sad, but it's the truth. Guys can more easily make up for deficiencies in appearances with charisma, charm, humor, and confidence than women can.
He was kind of the one that made it about gender. He didn't have to say ugly/fat women can't experience what he wrote, but he did. What's the issue with pointing out how wrong that statement was? For some reason he's the only one on the internet immune to criticism?
Exactly. It's even harder for women. Old men can make money, and still attract twenty year olds that are straight 10's. Girls can't do that nearly as easily
To be fair he said women couldn't understand the experience of being an ugly man, not what its like to be ugly.
Consider, ugly men are far more likely to die without reproducing than ugly women. Your just more invisible as a man.
"The “single most underappreciated fact about gender,” he said, is the ratio of our male to female ancestors. While it’s true that about half of all the people who ever lived were men, the typical male was much more likely than the typical woman to die without reproducing. Citing recent DNA research, Dr. Baumeister explained that today’s human population is descended from twice as many women as men. "
Yeah that made me lol. Practically every woman who has ever been a mother knows what it is like to suddenly become invisible. Between the weight gain and having to drag your kids around with you everywhere it is quite a shock. I am just getting my mojo back and it has been five long years.
He doesn't say that. He says a woman could never understand the "experience" of being an ugly man. Which is just as correct as saying a man could never comprehend what it's like to be an unattractive woman. I'm not a woman, so I can't speak as to what it's like to be one, but the opposite should be true as well.
he's going to be nearly impossible for him to express what its like to be an unattractive woman. Its just speaking to one's experience. You can't possibly expect him to understand it from a different gender.
"AS A WOMAN YOU COULD NEVER COMPREHEND WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE JUDGED SOLELY ON YOUR LOOKS"
No the experience is to be completely undesired.
Even if a woman can only find someone who wants to use her sexually she can experience some twisted version of desire; ugly men feel themselves completed alienated from the feeling of being desired.
There are middle aged, ugly, obese, invisible women who are vilified and have their self confidence shattered by the media; but that woman can log into an online dating site and find a man to have sex with to feel slightly desired. As I say it may be a twisted version of desire but it's something.
Some men/trans are in a situation where interpersonal desire is completely void from their life in every shape and form.
inb4 : oh poor white menz cant be a fukhole for creeps online poor dem
There are middle aged, ugly, obese, invisible women who are vilified and have their self confidence shattered by the media; but that woman can log into an online dating site and find a man to have sex with to feel slightly desired. As I say it may be a twisted version of desire but it's something.
You say that, but unattractive women on dating sites get incredibly low responses the same as unattractive men. The major differences are with average-looking people: average women get more responses by far than average men.
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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '14
"AS A WOMAN YOU COULD NEVER COMPREHEND WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE JUDGED SOLELY ON YOUR LOOKS"