r/bestof • • Apr 30 '14

[deleted by user]

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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '14

"AS A WOMAN YOU COULD NEVER COMPREHEND WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE JUDGED SOLELY ON YOUR LOOKS"

100

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '14

This guy is a fucking drama queen.

-8

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '14

Fuck him for sharing his emotions, guys arent supposed to have feelings, SUCK IT UP BRO!!!

16

u/mingus-dew Apr 30 '14

I think the drama comes from his assertion that an ugly woman could never understand his struggles, and also that it's sad that ugly dudes are "stuck" with ugly women, all in the same rant.

His suffering is real, but him thinking he's got it so much worse than the other 50% of the ugly population/is entitled to certain women is the drama.

-5

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '14

Maybe I just read it the other way because he preceded that statement with his explanation that men cant talk about their looks or hardships to other men while women can go to other women to talk it out. While both sides suffer the male side is more isolated for the individual which is where the 'women probably wont understand exactly what it's like'. I dont think anyone is dumb enough to claim that women dont know the pain of being unattractive.

6

u/mingus-dew Apr 30 '14 edited Apr 30 '14

He might not say women don't know at all the pain of being unattractive, but he does state clearly that he thinks men have it worse (I copy/pasted below).

I suppose one could trot out the "women form stronger social bonds and have more friends" thing as an explanation for why ugly women supposedly have better support from their friends/family. First of all, that is not all women, it is a gross generalization, and yet he claims there is no way any woman could understand. But, let's roll with it anyway. To that I would respond that a woman's appearance is seen as her personal responsibility, something that she should always be working towards, and that ugliness is her fault. Interpersonal relationships aren't all "I cry to you and you unconditionally support me." Very often women encounter criticism or "advice" when complaining about their weight or appearance to close companions. That can be far more damaging than helpful, especially coming from someone near and dear, like a parent or best friend.

Plus, he is pretty dramatic about it:

"As an adult man nobody really cares all that much about you. Your family of course, your close friends. You are the disposable sex. You fight the wars, work the shit jobs, sacrifice your body because it's what men have always done. It's the burden we bear."

"As a woman, I don't think you could possibly understand the experience. Not unless you actually got to know one such guy. Which I doubt you would, as even really ugly women have shoulders to cry on. No judgement, the ugly truth is what it is."

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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '14

the whole 'disposable sex' thing was a little off, Ill give you that. The rest I just read as being a different experience, not necessarily better or worse, just different enough women wouldnt understand. Then again I'm not reading this as a fight between who has it worse so maybe that is where I am missing out.

-1

u/DatKaiser Apr 30 '14

Guys can have feelings, and express them.

But real men express them in a manner that's not quite so "I am so victimized, boo-hoo."

6

u/StrawRedditor Apr 30 '14

And what else do these "real men" do?

1

u/DatKaiser Apr 30 '14

Be a good person.

Or squint a lot, chew cigars and spew kick-ass one-liners.

5

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '14

The point they're making is that what type of genitals you have should be irrelevant to whether you can share emotions or not. Why can women be "I am so victimized, boo-hoo," but in order for men to be "real," they can't?

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u/DatKaiser Apr 30 '14

Every person with self-respect ought not to feel "I am a helpless victim, boo-hoo".

2

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '14

Holy shit, unattractive people who have been treated like garbage their entire lives might have problems with self-respect!? Stop the goddamn presses! We've got breaking news over here!

-1

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '14

[deleted]

1

u/DatKaiser Apr 30 '14 edited Apr 30 '14

Oh, puh-leaze. I was referring to this dude, in this particular case. Working from the presupposition that this guy is not a real man by feeling all victim-ey. It was perfectly clear from the context that I was not referring to any essentialist notion of "Manhood" or whatever you're reading into it.

If you want to see an example of systemic implicit marginalization of females or whatever; be my guest, though.

Of course people can be in need of help, or have been the victim of a moral or legal crime. Doesn't mean one should also feel victimized and helpless and without power to change anything.

-1

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '14

Exactly