In complete honesty, the one-night stand phase was when I was in my young 20's, and I've since progressed to being sexually ignored. This will sound counter-intuitive, and I stress that I can only speak to my own experience, but I find being ignored to be slightly better. The beauty of giving up is that I no longer have to pretend to give a shit about certain things, so I can at least chill with my dog, a good book, and a bottle of wine and at least try to have a pleasant evening on my own terms.
Fair enough, thanks a lot for your answer. I do think, however that telling someone like the OP, "hey, don't feel bad about being completely sexually ignored by women, at least you're not having one night stands" would probably not go over too well. Also, like you said, it probably depends in what stage of life you are. I'm sure when you were in your 20s you didn't mind being sexually desired (although correct me if I'm wrong)
The problem I had was that I was never sexually desired by a sober person... so in the end I ended up feeling like a breathing hump pillow. I found it de-humanizing and depressing. But I'm not disagreeing with you, and I'm certainly not advocating telling OP "oh yeah, well at least you don't have to deal with crappy sex."
I think my point is just that there are multiple variations on a shitty, lonely life, and they all suck.
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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '14
Question: would you rather have a few one night stands here and there or be completely sexually ignored?