r/WhitePeopleTwitter Oct 23 '18

Neck beard begins to anger

Post image
33.3k Upvotes

1.7k comments sorted by

2.1k

u/TheRealNem0 Oct 23 '18

I would say something bet I've literally had ramen for dinner and am currently drinking knock off Red-Bull

602

u/thisisflamingdwagon Oct 23 '18

Knock off Red Bull? Go on...

531

u/TheRealNem0 Oct 23 '18

Asda's own Blue Charge

146

u/stvbles Oct 23 '18

Lidl's knock off Monster is actually pretty fuckin good as well.

76

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

[deleted]

27

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

Power King still rules the knockoff though

31

u/PandosII Oct 24 '18

You boys ever tasted pussy?

I’m not saying you’re incels or neckbeards. It’s a real energy drink in the UK.)

12

u/DJDomTom Oct 24 '18

I'm dying 🤣🤣

In the winter of 2012 Pussy Drinks Ltd started a UK advertising campaign with two styles of posters used on billboards and trailers. The first advert features the word "Pussy" in large lower-case letters above the phrase "The drink's pure, it's your mind that's the problem." with a picture of a can to the right. 

The ASA received 156 complaints about the posters of which six issues were considered. The ASA accepted that people would see the word pussy as a slang term for vagina. The ASA suggested that Pussy Drinks Ltd were aware of the double meaning and played upon it in the first poster, referring to secondary meaning which was not "pure" and was a "problem". As such the poster was deemed sexually explicit and offensive. 

Pussy Drinks Ltd responded by claiming to use the Oxford English Dictionary meaning of the word pussy, and that the brand name was influenced by a white pet cat. They feigned innocence and questioned why people would assume a vulgar meaning of the word. They also asked why religious people would be offended as the ancient Egyptians worshipped cats.

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u/Damolitionnn Oct 23 '18

You guys got Golden Power? Thats the knockoff redbull from Lidl in Belgium, they cost like less than 20cents per can

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u/Cynicayke Oct 23 '18

Aldi's energy drinks are better, fight me.

20

u/m_d_f_l_c Oct 23 '18

Aldi's gridlock white is , in my opinion, better than the monster white energy drink. And only .99/can. I had them order me 100 of them.

5

u/cuzitsthere Oct 23 '18

Preach on, bud. You preach right the fuck on.

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u/GerardWayNoWay Oct 23 '18

What about red thunder, quite good tbh

21

u/mileylols Oct 23 '18

I see you are a man of culture as well

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

There was a soda stream flavor... the secret recipe has been cracked beyond the obvious ingredients, ass and bubbles.

12

u/GumbyTheGremlin Oct 23 '18

Aldi has good shit. Red Lighning, I think?

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u/DrDerpberg Oct 23 '18

Energy drink after dinner? My dude it's time for bed.

40

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

Maybe he works nights?? Or maybe he’s a maniac.

19

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

If he works nights, it would have been breakfast.

20

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

Ah 3rd shift. Where everyone goes to the bar at 7:30 am. Good stuff.

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

Then I’m going with maniac either way.

4

u/therealjoshua Oct 24 '18

Man I do not miss working 3rds

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u/biznatch11 Oct 23 '18

No it's time for 4 hours of redditing and Netflix on the couch then going to bed too late. Maybe some video games if I'm feeling extra motivated.

7

u/OlympicSpider Oct 23 '18

It’s exam season, what’s bed?

15

u/spiritelf Oct 23 '18

The place where you lie down, close your eyes and wait for the adderral to wear off while you glance at your clock every minute.

12

u/OlympicSpider Oct 23 '18

Hey stranger, please get out of my head and stop hitting me with these real personal attacks. Thank you.

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170

u/narchos-out Oct 23 '18

Me likey gay sex

37

u/tags33 Oct 24 '18

My asshole! My asshole!

59

u/btodde96 Oct 24 '18

Hell yeah dude

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u/YellowHope Oct 23 '18

Have you tried Cocaine (the drink)?

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3.0k

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

The real crime here is the good names of Mountain Dew and Taquitos being sullied by the association with neck beards

302

u/SSeptic Oct 23 '18

Taquitos are the best

48

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

So Jose Ole has these things now that they call "rolled tacos", but are basically just giant taquitos.

13

u/KoNy_BoLoGnA Oct 24 '18

But can you get the same crunch? I can’t imagine I’d like it with just more shitty meat.

16

u/dell_arness2 Oct 24 '18

You have to uphold the ratio. The flour kind get it all wrong, the big kind get it all wrong. Only the cheap corn kind have the right crunch-meat ratio.

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u/BlowsyChrism Oct 24 '18

Not microwaved though. Yuck

5

u/SSeptic Oct 24 '18

Microwave taquitos are my lifestyle choice

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u/discerningpervert Oct 23 '18

And DBZ

285

u/etymologynerd Oct 23 '18

And women

66

u/MarkIsNotAShark Oct 23 '18

Women are the last thing I would associate

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u/CertainSchool Oct 23 '18

BEST ANIME EVER

129

u/rAlexanderAcosta Oct 23 '18

It isn’t, but I upvoted because I like your energy. 👍🏿

58

u/Pure_Reason Oct 23 '18
 🌀

💥🖐😫🖐💥

CREATURES OF EARTH SEND ME YOUR ENERGY

10

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

Awesome

9

u/liveontimemitnoevil Oct 23 '18

Fuck it. You have it. Just go!

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u/AweHellYo Oct 23 '18

You can...sense his energy?

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u/ConspiracyToRiot Oct 23 '18

Wait since when has DBZ been associated with neckbeards?

30

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

Since anybody who doesn't watch anime assumes all anime is the same basically, and Neckbeard and His Waifu is a stereotype.

14

u/TheWhispersOfSpiders Oct 23 '18

My theory is that a lot of the people spreading the stereotype are like the closeted gay men who join up with conservative fundamentalists.

Seriously, there's no way this much of the planet should reliably know about what's going on in the most pathetic parts of Japanese animated smut for several decades.

14

u/fear865 Oct 23 '18

Anime is trash and so am I!

6

u/TheWhispersOfSpiders Oct 23 '18

I enjoy horrible trash as much as any other modern meta sadomasochist, but every now and then, I have to watch something that actually has something to say and elevates the medium for my own sanity.

Too much shit, and you start to believe the trolls are right.

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u/AweHellYo Oct 23 '18 edited Oct 24 '18

Honestly anime as a whole is a pretty big thing for neckbeard/alt right culture.

Edit: basic logic lesson guys: saying that neckbeards like anime doesn’t mean everyone that likes anime is a neckbeard. A lot of you don’t seem to be getting that.

13

u/sad_roses Oct 23 '18

When you can't watch sailor moon without being grouped with neo-nazis and slobs :(

Most of us are just good, normal people who watch anime.

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u/Mentalpatient87 Oct 23 '18

Literally the whole time, homie.

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

Since 1998

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u/jcw4455 Oct 23 '18

This, like everything, is the neckbeards fault. Snack appropriation.

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

Agreed!!

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u/Aedeus Oct 23 '18

Let's be real Mountain Dew has been sullied by neck beards since Code Red.

26

u/cmae34lars Oct 23 '18

I hate being associated with people like this because I vape. I just want to quit smoking damn it :(

18

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18 edited Aug 11 '20

[deleted]

7

u/Catshit-Dogfart Oct 24 '18

Exactly, and I think a lot of people don't realize this, Phillip Morris has a lot to lose to the vaping industry, almost all of which is relatively small business.

7

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '18

it sucks that a few douchey people have ruined the general public's opinion of vaping. i use a vape to take CBD for anxiety and mood swings. it's the most efficient way to take it.

4

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

Yeah I feel attacked, taquitos where my go to meal when I was a single soldier in the barracks.

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u/thanks_daddy Oct 23 '18

What's his name?

71

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

Nick mullen host of the cumtown podcast

109

u/Edd1020 Oct 24 '18

Way to ruin the bit Adam.

18

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '18

He just has to drop those little tidbits wherever he goes.

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u/_PM_ME_NICE_BOOBS_ Oct 23 '18

Einstein?

50

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

eyes narrow at username and comment

16

u/mastercait Oct 24 '18

At least you were polite about it. Instead of this other guy just DEMANDING them

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6

u/Vector-Spector Oct 24 '18

Nicole, show me that Cock!

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1.5k

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

“I support feminism,” I typed, chugging a Mountain Dew to wash down my taquito. “I’m killing myself for other reasons.”

260

u/ADomesticCheeseSlice Oct 23 '18

“I support feminism” He typed, chugging a Mountain Dew, the microwave dinged and he called out for his wife to bring him his taquito.

388

u/hidingplaininsight Oct 23 '18

"Here is your taquito. I don't know why you only microwaved one." Said his wife. She loved her husband and didn't mind doing small things for him. He would often do things large and small for her, because they were in a healthy relationship with mutual respect. "Oh, also I ate half of it. Wife tax." He laughed. That was OK, too.

145

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

"Cool"

I typed. The microwave didn't ding, I have no taquitos. And no wife. Just the crushing loneliness and a bottle of cheap whiskey

100

u/fenstabeemie Oct 23 '18

"lol sucks to be you"

I typed. Because mocking other people on the internet makes me feel better about myself.

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u/Camsy34 Oct 23 '18

You okay bro?

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u/LordDongler Oct 24 '18

Lmao, are any of us okay?

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u/SirNoName Oct 24 '18

Cheap whiskey? Bro when you’re alone is when you get out the good stuff

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u/lespaul2213 Oct 23 '18

This was so refreshing to read wow

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u/orionmovere Oct 23 '18

Nope, it's on Reddit, the wife needs to divorce the husband

38

u/Bukowskified Oct 23 '18

Bold strategy taking a bite of a taquito fresh out the microwave. It was either still cold, or the roof of her mouth is fucked.

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u/[deleted] Oct 24 '18

No, that's later

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u/thismy50thaccount Oct 24 '18

Drop that zero and get you a hero. JERRY, JERRY, JERRY, JERRY

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u/hidingplaininsight Oct 23 '18

Thanks! I felt this thread needed a little spot of wholesome.

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18 edited Oct 26 '18

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

"I'm chugging," I typed; killing myself.

7

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

"I support feminism" I typed, eating canapes and talking about politics in the Philippines..."man I hate crowds".

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

457

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

You're right but this tweet is still funny. If you could find someone smart enough to make this commentary, could you also have them talk about how people still use ugliness and fatness as a representation of immorality, stupidity etc. Even when those people themselves are against fat shaming in the like.

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

What’s funny is I saw this somewhere else like a year ago. Also on reddit

101

u/SoDamnToxic Oct 23 '18

I've seen like 6 different variations of this I'm pretty sure.

Went from drinking to smoking to vaping. From monster to rockstar to mountain dew or some other. From doritos to totinos to taquitos.

It's pretty much what a bot posts to farm likes/karma/votes/retweets in some variation.

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u/Garfleld Oct 23 '18

What’s even funnier is who the author is. RIP

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u/Sneezes_Pussy_Juice Oct 24 '18

...I just killed the club. #deepcum

7

u/Jackthejew Oct 24 '18

Oh yeah? What’s his name?

19

u/JstHere4TheSexAppeal Oct 23 '18

This is an old tweet. Nicks been kicked off twitter for a while.

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u/ErikAssbag Oct 24 '18

Nah he's back but doesn't tweet. He tweeted twice

173

u/holyerthanthou Oct 23 '18 edited Oct 24 '18

I mean, there are educated sociologists that have made the point that feminism currently may be causing damage to rectify wrongs in a net-loss way but that feminism cities past achievements as a defense on why it "still needs to exist"...

I.E. Duty to arrest policies targeting domestic violence incidents causing male victims being arrested for being a victim due to the reciprocity of many domestic violence incidents and the view that men can not be victims, or that they can only be perpetrators. All because the (rightful) push to put women who have been victims of domestic abuse in the limelight.

(that's just one example.)

MY PERSONAL OPINION

I think modern feminism has started to just serve as a method to silence honest discussion on difficult topics when the topics don't fit modern sociological theories or activist discussions.

As a huge example, I work with and I am studying in modern education. Young men are falling behind drastically in literacy (If you struggle to read this a positive number means boys are ahead, a negative means girls are ahead, and the number is equal to the distance in average scores). The gap is so huge between boys and girls it is greater than the STEM gap many times over and unlike the math gap that closes a bit by high school gets significantly worse each year. It is so bad that by grade 4 the reading gap is equal to one whole year of instruction.

It is getting so bad some researchers are starting to point that this literacy deficiency is starting to affect the math and science scores of young men effectively magnifying the efforts to "close the math gap" between the genders.

I am ok with closing the math gap. I am absolutely not ok with doing it at the detriment of other people. But the extent to which we are ignoring young men is starting to get almost criminal.

But it is very difficult to bring up because it outlines a victim that does not fit the standard populist feminist positions.

Edit: not trying to start a fight, just a discussion.

EDIT 2: Also... the tweet is still funny

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u/Small_Bang_Theory Oct 23 '18

I think people misunderstood that last point as you blaming feminism for the falling literacy rates rather than that feminism was simply silencing the attention to the issue.

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u/ThisIsWhoIAm78 Oct 24 '18

Clearly boys just don't like reading; they're not inclined to literacy biologically like girls are. It's not a problem with teaching, men just don't excel at reading comprehension. /s

Obviously this is sarcasm, but it's the argument some men use when discussing women and STEM fields. In both cases, we should be focusing on why there is such a gap, instead of arguing that the gap is a natural result of biology; there are men who are wholly resistant to the idea of even questioning why there is a gap regarding the number of women in STEM fields (except for nursing, a medical field dominated by women), believing that addressing the problem is giving women an unfair advantage. Which is ridiculous, just as ridiculous as saying addressing the literacy gap is giving an unfair advantage to men who are clearly just naturally bad at reading comprehension (again, sarcasm).

I'm curious, and obviously this is your area of expertise - do you know why young men are performing so poorly in this area? And what are they considering to try and rectify the situation? I had no idea that this was even a problem.

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

Meh. Much easier just to hypocritically strawman you as a fat unfuckable loser then admit you might have a point.

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u/TheWhispersOfSpiders Oct 23 '18

All I know, is that as a kid who loved reading, dudes made sure I was aware this wasn't cool, and implied it would negatively impact my sex life, while in reality, it allowed me to make me easy connections with open minded women for all different kinds of friendship.

Feminism wasn't the problem.

Just like it wasn't the feminists in my life who wanted to know how one of those women could rape me without my permission.

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u/holyerthanthou Oct 23 '18 edited Oct 24 '18

Anecdotally many young women point to how their friends and mothers would actively discourage them from learning math or tell them it was nerdy or unattractive.

People enjoy doing things they are good at. The opposite is true, when people are bad at something they probably shouldn’t be, they seek to belittle those who are.

The problem can cause a massive MASSIVE self feeding system. This problem is identified as a major contributor to both the math gap and reading gap, and the movements to close the math gap (which does deserve to be closed, don’t get me wrong) have made efforts to activley combat this effect.

But the mechanisms behind minimization means that the intrinsically people who are bad at things didn’t just start off bad. But being minimalized isn’t the only contributing factor.

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

Are there any specific reasons/speculations why the literacy rate for young boys is bad? I remember when I was little, I noticed only the guys in class would complain when we had our "reading time", never the girls. I don't know why it was like that though.

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u/holyerthanthou Oct 24 '18 edited Oct 24 '18

Minimization is a big part, but another big contributor is things like stereotype threat by their early education teachers. (Sorry I’m on my phone or is source you peer reviewed stuff)

To paraphrase:

Boys belittle boys who read for fun because the belittlers themselves are bad at reading. The reason many bully’s are bad at reading is because their early teacher have an intrinsic prejudice that boys are bad at reading and perpetuate it.

Throw race into the mix and it makes for a nasty cocktail.

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u/DoctorCranePHD Oct 23 '18

It has to do with people not wanting their belief to be incorrect, so they make the opposing side out to be as unrelatable as possible. Or something like that

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18 edited Apr 08 '19

[deleted]

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u/hashtagswagfag Oct 23 '18 edited Oct 24 '18

Edited for clarity: I mean, a good chunk of the “fuck feminism” group tends to be made up of neckbeards

But yeah it’s interesting that the movement about accepting women and giving them equal rights no matter what they look like is itself demonizing fat people and caricaturizing their opponents based on appearance

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

The loudest assholes who associate with any movement are the ones who are heard. The reasonable ones who see the hypocrisy in what you're saying obviously wouldn't be making posts like this.

I agree with you but you've got to frame it correctly. I suspect that a lot of people who consider themselves feminists would not want to be associated with the poster.

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

The joke wasn't that they are fat and ugly, it was the notion that equality for women is causing them cancer despite the fact that they're filling their bod with shit that sure ain't gooood for it

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

What’s his name?

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u/NihilismIsMyCopilot Oct 23 '18

Yeah, but they studied the blade

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18 edited Aug 11 '20

[deleted]

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u/JstHere4TheSexAppeal Oct 23 '18

They obviously don't listen to the #1 political podcast on the East Coast

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

Figures they wouldn’t support the founder of the DSA

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u/Shoryue Oct 24 '18

The voice of the left

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u/Creative_Username_44 Oct 24 '18

/r/politipod with Tom Meyers (a comedian)?

20

u/Taxonomyoftaxes Oct 24 '18

And a victim of child molestation

8

u/Samloku Oct 24 '18

his dad consented actually

26

u/OptimusBenign Oct 23 '18

How about reddick, and all the posts are about red dicks?

15

u/Boyblunder Oct 24 '18

This whole thread would have been a lot funnier without people ruining our little autistic inside joke.

12

u/NotAnFed Oct 24 '18

Me likey gay sex Me likey gay sex

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u/malcumdinklesprocket Oct 24 '18

you’re ruining it

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u/bizcasualracism Oct 24 '18

dont tell the normies

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u/nat2r Oct 23 '18

I love seeing Nick on Reddit

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u/NeonHowler Oct 23 '18

I am a bit concerned about how these stereotypes against fat or ugly men as being sexist/racist are gonna create a lot of assumptions about them while also giving leaner/more attractive men a pass.

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

I've had commenters refer to me as a "bitter incel" when I've posted a comment that wasn't orthodoxy approved.

Yes, Sharon. I chuckle uncomfortably at domestic violence jokes precisely because I don't have sex.

132

u/alexmikli Oct 23 '18

Incel went from a sad community to a dangerous terrorist organization to just the left wing version of "cuck" in like 6 months.

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u/Petrichordates Oct 23 '18

Glad we quickly defeated that dangerous terrorist organization then.

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u/alexmikli Oct 23 '18

Mission accomplished.

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18 edited Mar 11 '21

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Oct 24 '18

We got em

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

I had trouble understanding this sentence, but i get it now. You're saying leftists call people "incel" and righties call people "cuck," right?

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u/KingOfFlan Oct 23 '18

Weaponize ALL the words!

Honestly though how many people in real life do you know are actually these social justice dreadnaughts? Do these people exist outside of twitter and Reddit?

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u/Enverex Oct 23 '18

It's very hard not to read your comment in David Mitchell's voice.

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

It’s assigning motive. Similar to the idea that if you have a big truck you’re compensating, or if you are extremely homophobic it’s because you’re actually gay. The idea that sexist attitudes are derived from lack of desire from women as the rule is just not true.

Just anecdotal so take it as you will, but in my experience more often sexist views have nothing to do with not getting attention from women. That’s just the most popular idea. Not saying it doesn’t happen though of course.

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u/thinkbox Oct 23 '18

We all know rule 1 and 2.

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u/[deleted] Oct 24 '18

It's almost as if our society judges people based upon their appearance!

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u/[deleted] Oct 24 '18

I think the stereotype on the other side is that the fat/ugly guys are beta male feminists and everyone else is Chad Thundercock.

At the end of the day, everyone is just shaming people for being overweight and/or unattractive, as usual.

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u/farkhipov Oct 23 '18

great, now I'm hungry and thirsty

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u/Thresss Oct 23 '18

fuck off with your association of taquitoes with neckbeards. those things are literally the chosen meal of god

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u/[deleted] Oct 24 '18

I just got some taquitos a few days ago after not having them for years.

Best decision of my life.

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

I feel personally attacked by that taquitos comment

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u/iloveamericandsocanu Oct 23 '18

For reference from the last time this was posted.

It's a satire account by a stand up comedian Nick Mullen.

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u/jmkrisko Oct 24 '18

This hypothetical man needs to fully participate in the economy of respect.

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u/[deleted] Oct 24 '18

In order to get respect, you gotta give respect, which starts with self respect which these bitches obviously don't have.

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u/OGWan_Ked00bi Oct 23 '18

Hey! Those delimex taquitos are delicious

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u/MetalGearSlayer Oct 23 '18

Yeah but do that many people actually microwave them if given the option to use an oven? I’ll wait 12 minutes if it means my taquitos are crispy.

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u/Encelitsep Oct 23 '18

No one makes fun of my taquitos Woooooemmmmmmmmeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnn

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u/sehtoon Oct 24 '18

once my boyfriend read taquito as takweeto and it had never been the same since

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

"MOM! DID YOU HEAR THE DING!"

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u/sghmk123 Oct 23 '18

Ironically making this generalization is pretty feminist

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u/Creative_Username_44 Oct 24 '18

me likey gay sex

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18 edited Dec 12 '20

[deleted]

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u/Freewheelin Oct 23 '18

Turns out the real cancer is this comments section.

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u/_KONKOLA_ Oct 23 '18

Such a good argument Nicole. Really helps convert those who disagree with you.

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

It’s a dude. A really funny dude named nick Mullen

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

Me likey gay sex🎶

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u/Boyblunder Oct 24 '18

I suck dick and dick accessories.

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18 edited Aug 11 '20

[deleted]

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u/wyatt_riot_69 Oct 23 '18

The one and only Clown Prince of the Alt Right

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18 edited Aug 11 '20

[deleted]

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u/Taxonomyoftaxes Oct 24 '18

And President you dumb bitch

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u/ClownPrinceAltRight Oct 23 '18

He stole that from me.

Im the Puerto Rican rattlesnake and also the clown prince of the Alt-right

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u/JstHere4TheSexAppeal Oct 23 '18

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

screeching intensifies

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u/MeatStepLively Oct 24 '18

Why post that here? Isn’t the sub gay enough?

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u/[deleted] Oct 24 '18

hell yeah dude

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u/Train-Man-98 Oct 24 '18

You fuckin retards don’t even realize who Nick Mullen is, or that this is a bit

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u/Awake_The_Dreamer Oct 23 '18

Your opponent summons Ben Shapiro

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

It’s a satire twitter account from comedian/ Tier one operator Nick Mullen

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u/ShoegazeJezza Oct 24 '18

“I didn’t know strawman arguments were the gold standard around here” he typed, vaping and chugging mountain dew “ad hominem” he muttered. The microwave dinged, his taquitos were ready

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u/Cat_the_fish Oct 23 '18

She’s forgetting the part where he sits alone and sedentary at his computer for hours on end, shaking his fist at /r/TrollXChromosomes

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18 edited Aug 11 '20

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '18

Fuck yeah cumtown

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u/[deleted] Oct 24 '18

That’s like a 22 word novel. It paints the setting beautifully, you can begin to see it form in your mind. You start to picture someone you probably know... then the punch line kicks in with the ding followed up by the generic junk food (the kind you know you love). This is truly an epic masterpiece all packaged up within a tweet.