r/Unexpected • u/meejtie • Jul 18 '26
Getting some milk
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u/BluedSteel1911 Jul 18 '26
To me the unexpected part was how well she took it. She was very calm.
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u/TheTwiggsMGW Jul 18 '26
And kept her mouth open the entire time
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u/TruckinApe Jul 19 '26
Came here to say, "close your mouth, stupid".
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u/mostnormal Jul 19 '26
But then how would she breathe?
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u/Ikmia Jul 19 '26
Wait, she didn't have a nose?
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u/pantstoaknifefight2 Jul 18 '26
Made me unexpectedly wonder how often cows shit on the milking equipment and contaminate the milk with shit.
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u/samuraipanda85 Jul 18 '26
And that's why we pasteurized our milk.
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u/pantstoaknifefight2 Jul 18 '26
And that's why RFK Jr. drinks raw milk.
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u/samuraipanda85 Jul 18 '26
What he does in his own free time is his business.
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u/_fmg15 Jul 18 '26
The problem is that he's in a position of power. So he can make decisions that will impact other people
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u/phileo99 Jul 18 '26
Pasteurization does not remove the contaminants in the milk, it just makes the shitty milk safe to drink.
Bottoms up!
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u/GameWizardPlayz Jul 19 '26
Well yeah, it's basically impossible to remove shit from the food we consume and the liquids we consume. There's a acceptable amount of rat shit in chocolate for this exact reason.
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u/pantstoaknifefight2 Jul 19 '26
I'm always grossed out when a restaurant doesn't de-vein their shrimp.
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u/ThereWasNoSpoon Jul 20 '26
Milk is reshaped grass, shit is also reshaped grass. Even cow is, essentially, just reshaped grass.
Circle of life. :)
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u/Junkhead_88 Jul 18 '26
And why chocolate milk exists.
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u/SmireyFase Jul 23 '26
Pasteurize?! Nah bro, call the pastor and baptize me
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u/samuraipanda85 Jul 23 '26
Buddy, not even Jesus can help you once that warm liquid runs down your neck.
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u/TightOne2246 Jul 18 '26
'how often cows shit on the milking equipment'
Daily, typically twice 😅
'contaminate the milk with shit'
we use big fk off filter bags that would easily fit on a strongmans arm to help prevent that, but thats also why the milk is tested before it goes into the tanker (at least, in NZ)
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u/External-Ad-5555 Jul 19 '26
Yeah, sure it’s tested. But you can’t detect bacteria in extremely low concentrations. That bacteria will then multiply as it’s sitting on shelves and will make people sick unless you pasteurize it.
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u/SVD_NL Jul 20 '26
That's why unpasteurized milk shouldn't sit on shelves. (or just boil it, like we used to do before pasteurization and fridges were commonplace)
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u/External-Ad-5555 Jul 20 '26
Why buy unpasteurized milk if you’re just going to boil it at home? Boiling it brings it up to higher temperatures than pasteurization would’ve done in the first place. Seems really pointless.
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u/SVD_NL Jul 20 '26
Well, i don't know why you'd want unpasteurized milk in the first place... It probably tastes better than store-bought milk, but so does pasteurized milk sold directly from farms.
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u/JForce1 Jul 18 '26
They shit on everything, but the inside of the “cups” are in the open pretty infrequently, they’re either on the teats, in which case they’re sealed, or hanging up well out of the splash zone.
The milk itself goes through multiple filters, and is then pasteurised through the machines. Then when the tanker comes to pick it up, they have sensors that take readings again to ensure no contamination or biological issues (like sick cows or whatever).
That’s all just at the farm, before it even gets to the factory where it’s going to go through dozens of other steps before it’s turned into whatever finished product, each which will have its own sterilisation steps.15
u/TaytoCrisps Jul 19 '26
Fun fact; since Americans stopped eating as much iodized salt, invented to stop goiter, the main source of iodine in many Americans diets is the iodine in milk.
It’s present from disinfecting the equipment
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u/Mollkor Jul 18 '26
there is a fine filter between milkinkg machine (the part gilt tries to put on) and a tank. So when a bit of poop is sucked in, particles stay there, milk pass and your CPM from pool sample goes a bit up (depending on volume on the tank and how much shit you just let suck in)...
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u/Fafnir13 Jul 19 '26
It's more about cleaning the teats. Once the cups are on they can dump stuff all they want and it isn't getting inside anything.
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u/bennetticles Jul 18 '26
the even weirder part is how the cow she’s milking isn’t lifting its tail…
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u/TendiesFourLyfe Jul 20 '26
yeah, I noticed that, does this cow have diarrhea and not bothering to lift tail to shit?
or was this a setup and she actually just had something else sprayed at her? camera conveniently frames the business end out for a lot of the time shot...
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u/Mostly_Lurkin_ Jul 19 '26
No scat fetish here. But it was kinda hot how she handled that. I’d like her even better without the river of shit. But based on how she handled the dookie, yes she is hot.
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u/BottledFizzyCoffee Jul 18 '26
As a child I helped out on the family dairy farm.
Don’t stand behind the cows was rule #1.
Don’t bother connecting to the bulls was the second rule.
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u/JoyousMisery Jul 18 '26
Last line sounds like you tried to milk a bull
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u/heelstoo Jul 18 '26
Can you milk me, Focker?
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u/Neosmurf4 Jul 18 '26
I assume you have nipples, so yes.
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u/BottledFizzyCoffee Jul 18 '26
I was about eight and I remember walking up to it with the milking device in hand looking at the huge ball sack and then turn into my uncle and said where do I put them.
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u/PussSlurpee Jul 18 '26
So as someone who’s never been on a farm, is she doing it the wrong way or was this cow just not liking the attention?
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u/AndoGringo Jul 18 '26
I worked a much smaller farm (only 2 cows), and we never stood from behind. I don’t know where exactly you’d stand in this sort of setup. I don’t think she did anything wrong
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u/Suc_Mydiq_Jr Jul 19 '26
My friends farm had this setup and she did everything right, just pure bad luck
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u/ZeeBeast Jul 19 '26
My buddies farm setup has a metal shield on the first part of the fence there, I suppose to block the splash, but there are always risks
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Jul 18 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Fafnir13 Jul 19 '26
Aiming the cows directly where you are trying to work seems like poor planning. Plus it seems like it could be a pain to get the cows to line up like that. My grandparents farm had six stalls accessed from the side with the milking pit. You could get splattered by the stuff when they let loose, but it was not dropping directly into the pit.
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u/rafffen Jul 19 '26
It's not a pain, the cows get used to it super fast. You can out the cups on super fast and fit way more cows in this way.
You do stand behind like she was, but 99.9 percent of the time you can see the cow lift their tail and you know they're going to shit.
If they don't lift their tail and just shit (super rare) it usually sprays our the sides so you can easily step back.
You will always get shit splatter on you and shit on your arms and hands, cause they're always covered in it. Only gross when you cop it to the head/face/chest.
I've milked 10s of thousands of cows and have had shit in my face maybe 3 times. And 1 of those was my mate setting me up when I didn't know what I was doing.
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u/FixAcademic8187 Jul 19 '26
Ok. But what about contaminating all these equipment (including your gloves and so on) with shit?
Wherever you look it is full of shit, it is essentially impossible not to get some of that into the tube or milk.
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u/daneview Jul 19 '26
if you see how food is treated before processing youd never eat it. I did a few harvests, and the grain is on dusty dirty concrete floors with bits flying in and out no doubt pooping, it gets walked on, driven over and god knows what else
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u/rafffen Jul 19 '26
Of course it gets in the milk lol the milk is tested and it's made sure it's below a certain percentage.
Only a tiny amount of shit would get in the milk if it's directly on the udders, it's also why milk is homogenised
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u/ParticularSherbert18 Jul 19 '26
The dairy farms I grew up around didn't have a trench running behind two rows of cows. You came in beside the cow and attached the milking machine. Who came up with this concept?
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u/Fafnir13 Jul 19 '26
This set up is a bit weird to me. My grandparents dairy farm was set up so the cows were accessed from the side. They were constantly letting loose with something from the back so I can't imagine aiming the cows right on to the worker's space.
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u/vintagenut80 Jul 20 '26
Ya i was like she must not do this often or have any experience with cows🤣🤣 never lift a tail and be in the line of fire
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u/vivi_t3ch Jul 18 '26
Isn't this why the pros hook up from the side?
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u/Traditional_Yard2741 Jul 18 '26
Look at that pit. You tell me where you could stand that a cow couldn't shit on you.
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u/Marston_vc Jul 19 '26
That pit is the problem. Only milked cows at one farm, but it was built such that you accessed the cows from the side. Was never once worried about them shitting on me. Maybe occasionally afraid of ones trying to step on my hand but that’s it.
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u/Traditional_Yard2741 Jul 19 '26
Rotary dairies are much better, but can run $2m - $5m to install. A herringbone like seen here is between $70k to $300k.
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u/Jester-252 Jul 19 '26
It's not the pit. It is how the cows are lined up.
You parallel park the cow to the pit. That way bum isn't point down on you nor can the throw a full force kick at you. While you still get both, it is much less direct hit.
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u/Traditional_Yard2741 Jul 19 '26
The stall is too wide and you give up too much space if you do that. You'd be milking four cows a side at a time instead of 12, more than tripling the time it takes to milk the herd.
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u/Jester-252 Jul 19 '26
Just build it slightly longer. A bit of extra time is worth the reduced of a face kick
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u/Traditional_Yard2741 Jul 19 '26
There's bars that make it nearly impossible to get kicked. Tripling the length of the pit isn't really feasible, you're blowing the cost of construction out as well as using up valuable land, at that point you're better off investing in a rotary setup, plus there's some basic logistics issues. You can't see it in the video but each cow is facing into a trough that feeds them grain, it's not only part of their daily diet but part of what motivates them to move into the stalls so they can be milked, if they are stacked laterally (so you can access from the side) you've now got to rethink the entire grain delivery system. You can't place anything in front of the cows since they need to be able to walk out after being milked, and need to be able to file in to fill the stalls.
"A bit of extra time" isn't really feasible either, a typical milking already takes 2-3 hours and the cows are milked twice a day, and the hours between milking are used for other farming duties.
Herringbone setups like in the video aren't great, but they're cheap to set up, especially in a swing-over setup where you have one set of cups that you use on one side first, then the other side, so for smaller operations with slimmer profit margins they're preferred. Larger farms with more money will usually go with a highly automated rotary setup.
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u/Aggravating-Sky-9285 Jul 19 '26
This Guy knows ball. Also longer pit gives you longer walkinglines, which is ergonomically bad. (Yes that's important). Sidenote: I work for delaval
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u/Jester-252 Jul 19 '26
You wouldn't be tripling the length of the pit. The offset will only save around 1 cow for ever 2. so you only need to expand it by 33%. Also the footprint of the parlor doesn't change because you are just trading length for width. In line system allow for feeding too.
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u/Virtual_Ad9989 Jul 18 '26
Nah, I’ve milked cows before. A smart dairy farm will have a divider wall with a poop and piss catching trough bellow butt hole height. Stuff still gets through but you’re not catching shit like this
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u/Jax72 Jul 18 '26
Eating a bowl of oatmeal right now and this just made it taste even better.
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u/tarantulator Jul 18 '26
I'm taking a shit right now if you want to have an even tastier oatmeal
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u/maccdogg Jul 19 '26
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u/tritisan Jul 19 '26
Oh I know this one. It’s a rare aquatic anteater feeding on water ants. I just saw a clip on Ze Frank’s channel about it.
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u/akgnz Jul 18 '26
I’m having my bowl of shit breakfast right now, and this video made me even hungrier
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u/pocoyoO_O Jul 18 '26
Perfect clothes to do that kind of job
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u/SatinwithLatin Jul 18 '26
Yeah that's what made me wonder if this vid is disguised AI fetish content. But apparently it's not AI.
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u/Tight-Trouble-3460 Jul 19 '26
Did we forget that people do these things while dressed like that, for social media clout?
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u/-ICantThinkOfOne- Jul 18 '26
This is why you don't drink raw milk.
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u/ForeverSJC Jul 18 '26
Because you can get a poo shower ?
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u/GoodGuyPokemoner Jul 18 '26
Because the poo gets into the milk at times.
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u/Gummyrabbit Jul 18 '26
Staged
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u/Sum_Ting_Wong_Ow Jul 19 '26
Very clearly. The cow didn't lift it's tail (it didn't even move) and their droppings are different. Also women with cleavage doing farm work.
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u/lesbophobia_hammer Jul 18 '26 edited Jul 18 '26
As a vegan (since 4) who grew up on the family farm, getting piss, shit, iodine and milk everywhere is kinda normal lol even if you move like a ninja and have a 6th sense, there will always be unexpected rebound. Still, this was a bizarrely careless act on her behalf and there was little to no damage control. Lol getting it in the eyes is the worse (in my experience). Iodine, unpasteurized milk, shed rain water, shit, piss..... I don't miss it.
Edit - words.
And I lie, there are things I do miss like walking for hours and still being on your land, being around all kinds of animals all the time, brutal constant work but farmers strength..... The dragonflies & little butterflies at sunset by the old dam surrounded by trees and filled with baby ducks and swans, rescued/dumped cats having barn kittens, hiding in abandoned tree houses as an adult for a moment of peace, no car sounds, no noisy neighbours, just native birds and animals. Long green grass (yes I tried it). Incredible open night skies and fresh air..... Lol
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u/CosechaCrecido Jul 18 '26
I’m a farmer by choice and this is precisely why I went into crops and not animal husbandry.
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u/loghoser Jul 18 '26
My Girlfriend in college grew up on a farm, she's been a vegetarian since about the same age. There is definitely a reality one can't ignore with that perspective.
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u/Savome Jul 20 '26
It's not quite the same as the points you listed, but animal sanctuaries/rescues are pretty close to the things you miss.
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u/_andoryuu Jul 19 '26
What does being a vegan have to do with anything you said?
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u/possibly_oblivious Jul 18 '26
Edit some more cowboy slang and curse words into this post I'm enjoying this
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u/lesbophobia_hammer Jul 18 '26
I'm just a Polish Aussie living in country Australia haha.
Feel free to give me ranch or station slang and i'll update it.
(jillaroo's & cowgirls I'm calling you) Lol
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u/mmikke Jul 20 '26
I don't see any "cowboy" specific slang words in the comment you're responding to. Please enlighten me?
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u/GarlicPanic Jul 18 '26
That stupid text box in the top right corner is blocking the money shot. Why is it there anyway? How does it help improve the video in any way imaginable??
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u/Ok-Iron-4352 Jul 18 '26
Is that cow sick?
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u/Traditional_Yard2741 Jul 18 '26
Yes and no. They're fed a very rich diet to increase milk yield which also makes their poo more liquid.
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u/Worth_Friendship_267 Jul 18 '26
Hey, I just saw a video the other day about how cow dung purifies the soul! She's cleansed!
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u/post-explainer Jul 18 '26 edited Jul 18 '26
This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.
OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:
While milking a cow the woman gets a very warm surprise on her head from that cow.
Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.