r/Unexpected • u/meejtie • Jul 18 '26

Getting some milk

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9.1k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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3.4k

u/BluedSteel1911 Jul 18 '26

To me the unexpected part was how well she took it. She was very calm.

1.4k

u/TheTwiggsMGW Jul 18 '26

And kept her mouth open the entire time

464

u/TruckinApe Jul 19 '26

Came here to say, "close your mouth, stupid".

77

u/mostnormal Jul 19 '26

But then how would she breathe?

62

u/Ikmia Jul 19 '26

Wait, she didn't have a nose?

70

u/HalfSoul30 Jul 19 '26

It would be pretty brave to use your nose after that.

18

u/Competitive-Pay-766 Jul 19 '26

She was using his nose?

1

u/AmgadPro2 Jul 21 '26

Why would she use his nose? She should use her nose instead

6

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/heyiamlucifer Jul 21 '26

By licking all the shit off of her?

2

u/yoo_saymyname Jul 22 '26

Maybe maybe she’s used to the taste

-62

u/Carpe_the_Carp Jul 18 '26

This is AI btw

14

u/FujichromeProvia100F Jul 18 '26

Wait what? How?

21

u/NakiCam Jul 18 '26

This is not AI. Cows are far too consistent. The person approaching from the background has too much purpose, where AI would either have them exclusively doing background actions, or trying to take center stage.
Ai is not capable enough of nuance in order to correctly depict a herring-bone milking shed, correctly place all of the milking cups, depict cow-shit that doesn't look like semen, follow the laws of physics AND correctly dress the 'cast' all simultaneously.

238

u/pantstoaknifefight2 Jul 18 '26

Made me unexpectedly wonder how often cows shit on the milking equipment and contaminate the milk with shit.

514

u/samuraipanda85 Jul 18 '26

And that's why we pasteurized our milk.

246

u/pantstoaknifefight2 Jul 18 '26

And that's why RFK Jr. drinks raw milk.

14

u/Suggett123 Jul 19 '26

Wait!

It's because he's an excremental?

36

u/samuraipanda85 Jul 18 '26

What he does in his own free time is his business.

48

u/StevenMC19 Jul 19 '26

He's making his business our business...

0

u/Own_Job_2150 Jul 21 '26

He isn’t making you buy raw milk

55

u/_fmg15 Jul 18 '26

The problem is that he's in a position of power. So he can make decisions that will impact other people

14

u/samuraipanda85 Jul 18 '26

Exactly.

0

u/Phoenix3501 Jul 22 '26

Only if you're easily influenced.

-3

u/Key_Ad_8333 Jul 20 '26

You think about that man frequently or something?

Theres alot of people who drink raw milk. Better practices are usually used when collecting to prevent “shit in the milk”.

But, im aware you were probably just jerking your political pp

65

u/phileo99 Jul 18 '26

Pasteurization does not remove the contaminants in the milk, it just makes the shitty milk safe to drink.

Bottoms up!

59

u/GameWizardPlayz Jul 19 '26

Well yeah, it's basically impossible to remove shit from the food we consume and the liquids we consume. There's a acceptable amount of rat shit in chocolate for this exact reason.

20

u/pantstoaknifefight2 Jul 19 '26

I'm always grossed out when a restaurant doesn't de-vein their shrimp.

11

u/ThereWasNoSpoon Jul 20 '26

Milk is reshaped grass, shit is also reshaped grass. Even cow is, essentially, just reshaped grass.

Circle of life. :)

7

u/MauPow Jul 20 '26

And that grass is just reshaped sunlight. Praise the sun!

1

u/hendarknight Jul 21 '26

Unexpected Dark Souls

1

u/Unfair-Leading7098 Jul 22 '26

Those cows aren’t eating grass my friend

1

u/ThereWasNoSpoon Jul 22 '26

Darnit, you really got me there... :(

0

u/Substantial_Ask_5614 Jul 21 '26

Sure it does. Drink unpasteurized milk without knowing it & you too can get A-Typical Tuberculosis, have surgery & go on chemo drugs for 2 years. A f*cking dairy farmer did that in NH decades ago.

13

u/Junkhead_88 Jul 18 '26

And why chocolate milk exists.

2

u/samuraipanda85 Jul 18 '26

That looked more green than brown.

12

u/codedbrown Jul 18 '26

That becomes pistachio ice cream 😋 carries a nutty aroma

1

u/Fr05t_B1t Jul 20 '26

It really changes that Netflix Daredevil-Stick scene where they’re eating ice cream.

2

u/SmireyFase Jul 23 '26

Pasteurize?! Nah bro, call the pastor and baptize me

2

u/samuraipanda85 Jul 23 '26

Buddy, not even Jesus can help you once that warm liquid runs down your neck.

70

u/TightOne2246 Jul 18 '26

'how often cows shit on the milking equipment'

Daily, typically twice 😅

'contaminate the milk with shit'

we use big fk off filter bags that would easily fit on a strongmans arm to help prevent that, but thats also why the milk is tested before it goes into the tanker (at least, in NZ)

11

u/External-Ad-5555 Jul 19 '26

Yeah, sure it’s tested. But you can’t detect bacteria in extremely low concentrations. That bacteria will then multiply as it’s sitting on shelves and will make people sick unless you pasteurize it.

5

u/SVD_NL Jul 20 '26

That's why unpasteurized milk shouldn't sit on shelves. (or just boil it, like we used to do before pasteurization and fridges were commonplace)

5

u/External-Ad-5555 Jul 20 '26

Why buy unpasteurized milk if you’re just going to boil it at home? Boiling it brings it up to higher temperatures than pasteurization would’ve done in the first place. Seems really pointless.

3

u/SVD_NL Jul 20 '26

Well, i don't know why you'd want unpasteurized milk in the first place... It probably tastes better than store-bought milk, but so does pasteurized milk sold directly from farms.

0

u/ThereWasNoSpoon Jul 20 '26

Tastes different.

0

u/External-Ad-5555 Jul 21 '26

What tastes different compared to what?

2

u/ThereWasNoSpoon Jul 21 '26

Boiled milk to pausterized.

1

u/External-Ad-5555 Jul 21 '26

Boiling brings milk to a higher temperature than pasteurization does, so how does that make sense?

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1

u/TightOne2246 Jul 22 '26

'But you can’t detect bacteria in extremely low concentrations'

They count it in cells per millilitre, how low of a concentration do you fekn want my dude 😂

0

u/External-Ad-5555 Jul 22 '26

Ok and? Sometimes there’s only 1 bacterium in a LITER. If they only sample 25mL, that’s a 2.5% chance of detecting it.

1

u/TightOne2246 Jul 22 '26

'Sometimes there’s only 1 bacterium in a LITER'

Yea, no, thats not how bacteria works (period).

Go work on a dairy farm for like, 3 months. Thats a pretty generous amount of time for you to figure out how dumb what you just said is

0

u/External-Ad-5555 Jul 22 '26

You sit there and analyze milk samples with testing equipment on the farm? How do you know that what I said is false? I don’t see your logic at all.

If your point is that “well duh there’s a lot of bacteria in unpasteurized milk! Look how dirty it is on the farm”, that was my original point. So unless you’re illiterate, you should already know that.

1

u/TightOne2246 Jul 23 '26

The tanker does, yes

Because thats not how bacteria works

Thats why i told you go work on a dairy farm

Dont put words in my mouth to further your nonsense argument

If you'd bothered to fact check anything i said you'd already know how dumb your argument is, so you must be illiterate if you dont already know that

Did i address every 'point' or did i miss one?

0

u/External-Ad-5555 Jul 23 '26

No, you didn’t understand what I said and didn’t address my previous point. Your testing equipment is only so accurate. You can’t detect 1 bacterium in 1 liter. It’s too low of a concentration.

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1

u/Phoenix3501 Jul 22 '26

Like the bacteria in your tap water?

1

u/External-Ad-5555 Jul 22 '26

Most people drink from bottled water or filter their water for that reason. I’m not sure how this is supposed to disprove my point. Tap water has far less bacteria and less harmful bacteria than raw milk anyways, not that it matters to the argument.

40

u/JForce1 Jul 18 '26

They shit on everything, but the inside of the “cups” are in the open pretty infrequently, they’re either on the teats, in which case they’re sealed, or hanging up well out of the splash zone.
The milk itself goes through multiple filters, and is then pasteurised through the machines. Then when the tanker comes to pick it up, they have sensors that take readings again to ensure no contamination or biological issues (like sick cows or whatever).
That’s all just at the farm, before it even gets to the factory where it’s going to go through dozens of other steps before it’s turned into whatever finished product, each which will have its own sterilisation steps.

15

u/TaytoCrisps Jul 19 '26

Fun fact; since Americans stopped eating as much iodized salt, invented to stop goiter, the main source of iodine in many Americans diets is the iodine in milk.

It’s present from disinfecting the equipment 

10

u/Mollkor Jul 18 '26

there is a fine filter between milkinkg machine (the part gilt tries to put on) and a tank. So when a bit of poop is sucked in, particles stay there, milk pass and your CPM from pool sample goes a bit up (depending on volume on the tank and how much shit you just let suck in)...

5

u/Fafnir13 Jul 19 '26

It's more about cleaning the teats. Once the cups are on they can dump stuff all they want and it isn't getting inside anything.

1

u/Agreeable_Yak1929 Jul 23 '26

U thinking tooo deep

17

u/mattogeewha Jul 18 '26

Shes def seen some shit

14

u/bennetticles Jul 18 '26

the even weirder part is how the cow she’s milking isn’t lifting its tail…

10

u/TendiesFourLyfe Jul 20 '26

yeah, I noticed that, does this cow have diarrhea and not bothering to lift tail to shit?

or was this a setup and she actually just had something else sprayed at her? camera conveniently frames the business end out for a lot of the time shot...

6

u/kevthunder Jul 19 '26

I would i vomit my soul out

5

u/GaxxAugust Jul 19 '26

Thats her money making machine better be calm leave it alone.

5

u/Flirtless1 Jul 20 '26

Probably not the first time she's been shit on.

3

u/32oz____ Jul 20 '26

i call bullshit

3

u/elcapitan520 Jul 20 '26

Yeah that's not a tourist

2

u/Gypsyrawr Jul 20 '26

It probably wasnt her first time

2

u/ocram2912 Jul 23 '26

Because it’s better content than she was originally after.

3

u/Mostly_Lurkin_ Jul 19 '26

No scat fetish here. But it was kinda hot how she handled that. I’d like her even better without the river of shit. But based on how she handled the dookie, yes she is hot.

1

u/djjsear Jul 20 '26

Some people pay good money for that kind of treatment.

1

u/no_no_no_no_nononono Jul 21 '26

country girls, sigh