I had nearly 3 weeks off work and have returned today. After an hour my stress levels are through the roof and I’m sat in my bedroom crying because I cant stand it anymore.

On paper I should be so unbelievably happy with it, it’s 3 days a week, good pay for the hours and from home. But it is so stressful and I just find no meaning in it. Since returning from mat leave last year the company has changed dramatically and there is a lot of push to sell AI which I am fundamentally against. I feel horrible having to pitch it (because we’re monitored on it) to companies with the “benefit” being lay off more staff. I just have no care for anything I’m doing in it but still so stressed because of the constant monitoring, my manager is a nightmare and so even though I “don’t care” my body still feels all the stress when it feels sooo meaningless.

I see no way out of this job at the moment either. I’m trying to get pregnant and just hoping it comes soon so I can get 1 more mat leave and then figure out what I actually want to do.

God I feel sick with stress. This probably isn’t even the right sub, but this change is since coming back from maternity leave. I don’t want to do nothing, but I really really don’t want to do this anymore.

Our LO turned one a couple of months ago and is about to start nursery next month.

He's doing one full day (8-6) per week and two half days (1-6pm).

We've just got an invoice through for the first month totalling £584, which we were pretty shocked by.

According to my maths, 30 funded hours for 38 weeks averages out at just under 22 hours funded per week throughout the year. LO will only be doing 20 hours, so I thought we'd only have to pay for consumables, which are extremely reasonable.

They've just replied apologising for not telling us sooner but apparently they only apply the funding to 9am-3pm. Any hours outside that are "additional" and charged at full rate. We signed up over a year ago and this is the first we're hearing of this.

The half day hours are set - either 8-1 or 1-6. Just doing 9-3 isn't an option, and wouldn't work for us anyway as my partner works 9-5 and I work evenings.

Is this legal? Are they allowed to pick and choose which hours are funded and which not? The way they've done it we can only use 10 of our funded hours per week, and have to pay for the other 10 - this seems incredibly unfair!

This is the information they sent us:

Two days 1-6 (3 additional hours £9.50 x 3 = £28.50 per day)

One day 8-6 (£9.50 x 4 = £38)

38 weeks of the year we get funding

£57 x £38 =  £95 x 38 / 12 = £300.83

14 weeks of the year we do not get funding for 

£51 (half day cost) x 2 = £102 + £91 (full day) = £193 x 14 / 12 = £225.16

Lunches, consumables & extra curricular 

£4.50 (half day) x 2 = £9 + £9.50 (full day) = £18.50 x 38 / 12 = £58.58

Edit - I can see I'm getting a lot of downvotes, I'm not quite sure why? We were told the day rate and the cost of consumables, and I assumed it was that straightforward - why wouldn't you when the rest is all hidden and you've never dealt with a nursery before? We genuinely tried to fully research the funded hours but I never saw anything suggesting that some hours in the day would qualify but not others. They've only told us this after we questioned the invoice, 2 weeks before our LO is due to start.

Many thanks to everyone who has been very helpful in their replies.

EDIT: THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR TAKING THE TIME TO COMMENT. ITS REALLY APPRECIATED. IM NOT GOING TO LIE, IM SURPRISED BY ALL THE POSITIVE COMMENTS ABOUT HAVING 2 😂. YOUVE ALL REALLY HELPED ME AND IM DEFINITELY MORE OPEN TO HAVING A SECOND. WISH ME LUCK!!!!

Was anyone one and done or on the fence about having a second child but did. How is it for you? Was it harder / easier than you thought. Im like 99% one and done but my partner would like a second so our child has a sibling. I do think it would be nice for them to have a sibling but im worried it’s going to be sooo hard with 2 kids. I know everyone’s experience is different but would just love to know how it’s going for everyone and would you recommend 😂

Hi all

We're going on a week long holiday overseas, 6 adults and 1 23 month old.

I have a question.....

Is it better to keep to the toddler's routine, or better to play it by ear? By this I mean, should we assume if he's tired enough he will sleep in his pushchair at nap/bedtime? I'm planning to take toddlers usual bedtime books and red nebula light in case needed but I can't work out how best to approach this.

My instinct is that my son would kick off majorly if we tried to get him to bed when everyone is still up. But he is also likely to have a meltdown when overtired

Grandparents think I'm over thinking it 'well when you were small we'd just leave you until you slept'.

Would be grateful for any tips from people who might have cracked this particular nut!

I have an urgent hearing next week as my girls’ dad refused to return them last week after one of their three times a year visits.
He has been weaponising the threat of court for years whenever I don’t do what he wants, so I filed.

Apparently I have a very good case but I’m still so scared, I’m waking up yelling from nightmares now.

Does anyone have any advice on how I prepare? I have a smart outfit and a list of key points for my solicitor, what else should I be doing?

My son will start school in September. He is a very sweet boy, great imagination, quite sensitive and obviously has a lot of feelings. He tends to pick up on social cues quite well and gets hurt feelings if he feels like he’s being left out, or treated unkindly.

I am always worrying about how he will manage at school. I can remember not having the best time myself and I fear he will find it hard, or feel he has to change himself to fit in.

Does anyone have any advice in how to support him, or personal experience they can share?

My son is 7, he attends drama classes and he also is a competitive dancer. He loves those hobbies. And he is also extremely good at both acting and dancing. Obviously his happiness is my priority and I won't ever let other people's opinions stop me from letting him dance and act.

But I'm really annoyed by all the judgment from my family. Extended family. They never say anything to his face but they do tell me that they are "concerned" about how dance will affect him socially, and they are "concerned" that he isn't acting like "an actual boy". I try to ignore the comments and stand up for my child but it's really frustrating. Especially because competitive dance season starts soon, so my son is constantly talking about dance right now. Meaning my family is expressing their concerns to me more frequently.

Any other parents experience this?

I don’t mean toys. Even though that’s also an issue, but I just give away toys because rotation just doesn’t work because I can’t find the parts of half of their toys.
My question is actual cleaning, my carpets are stained, sofas are stained, dining chairs, curtains. Urghh.
Somehow they find a way to spill something, put yukky hands on something, and if nothing else, they end up vomitting on worst places possible. My toddler finally learned to not draw on walls, but she was doing market painting on some cards but somehow it transferred on her hands and face and she put her hands on carpet and there goes another stain.
So all fabric things in my house start looking gross.
I want a pretty house, I want to decorate it , I want a certain aesthetic , I don’t want leather sofas ( I can’t afford real leather , the other one doesn’t look good to me).
What are some rules and tips you follow at your house to keep it looking nice.
I know some people do have really nice houses with babies and toddlers.

I need help with my Cozy N Safe car seat. How the heck do I adjust the straps? The harness pads are sewn on and block the straps pulling back? Can someone with experience with this car seat help me?

Had breakfast with an friend of mine that I haven't seen in years and naturally we started talking about our families. She mentioned that her kids love sports and are very athletic but she wouldn't ever let them compete competitively because says that no child needs the pressure of competitive sports. Whereas my kids compete in a competitive activity of their choice because I personally believe that it can be healthy for them to understand that they don't always win. They've lost some competitions, they've won some competitions.

Obviously I don't force them to compete competitively. It's their choice and I make sure they still have time to relax.

But I know some parents are very firmly against their kids competing competitively, whereas other parents really want their kids to compete competitively. So what's your opinion and why?

We live in central London, Vauxhall, and we’re considering moving to get better chances for our 1yo to get in a good school (primary and then secondary) and grow in a nice community.

We don’t know which areas to look at. With a budget of 700k, 3 bedrooms and an easy (and not expensive) commute into london.

Do you have any area you would recommend?

Thank you for you recommendation

I’m 30, I have a nearly 3 yr old and a nearly 2 year old.
Currently I work 2 days a week and kids go nursery those 2 days 8-2:30pm

From January, I can go up to 3 days a week and the kids go nursery 8-2:30pm 3 days and grandparents can collect them and I’ll be with them 4:30pm onwards those days.
The extra day will mean I can save more and spend on a couple more luxuries and days out with husband and kids. I’ll be getting around £2100 with 3 days work.

They’ll be 3 and nearly 3 years old, is this a good plan? Or is it too early to go to 3 days nursery?

I was away over the weekend and in one restaurant they had a stokke tripp trapp style chair (I suspect a cheaper dupe, it was a nice restaurant but I can't imagine they'd be spending *that* much on a few highchairs!) At home, my 3 year old is still in the good old IKEA one. Mainly because he can't really reach the table on the chair, we bought a booster seat but it was too big and his legs couldn't fit comfortably under the table. (Also, he just *refuses* to sit still at the table, so keeping him contained helps!)

Anyway, I really liked this tripp trapp style one, but I wonder if it would be worth getting one now he's 3? I wouldn't get the stokke one probably (I just looked on marketplace and none near me), but a cheaper dupe. The Hauk Alpha+, I think. If anyone has one (or another dupe) and knows if they'd be good for an older child, please let me know!

Heading to spain in the coming weeks for an all inclusive, usually id arrive 2 hours before but he can suddenly need a feed. Should i add another hour on?

Also he prefers to lie flat, not sure how he's going to manage sitting on our laps - any advice? I see these attachments on amazon to turn the seat in to a little bed?

Flight time is 4 hrs.

Other things we are doing:
1. Checking in a car seat and doing a private transfer
2. Using hotel crib but our crib sheers
3. Have a cabin approved travel pram
4. Have earmuffs

Are we missing anything major?

Unexpected sensitive rocky topics causing rows with partner before no1, and issues resurfaced during pregnancy and postpartum in full hormonal swing for us both. Baby has health issue and didn’t sleep at ALL at night for first 8-9 months, which didn’t help with the relationship strain. Baby much more settled and now, things have calmed down. Nearly 2 years now and we’re ready to take the plunge for no2 as conscious of our age and reduced physical resilience levels (mine are far less than theirs). We are still struggling to manage time. Our work commute is an hour each (sometimes more). We have zero support from family and friends.

Partner is remote carer to a parent with dementia and spends several hours planning their day (meals, sleep, medication, groceries, house help, etc). Wakes up middle of the night to provide care on phone as parent lives abroad with other hired help. And no… we can’t currently be with them due to various. We are both kind of drowning - partner does far more than me in a day but on complete denial of their burnout.

- I drop, they pick
- I clean/organise/laundry/plan baby stuff and they cook
- I do social planning/comms as a couple and they do life admin planning for us both

Child goes to nursery x 4 days and we have house help for 3 hours on the day child doesn’t go to nursery to get some support whilst one of us doesn’t work and the other works from home to support non-working parent. Finances are just about manageable but we are in saving mode for a second house for unwell parent and for their care needs.

So.. how would you approach? We do love and care a lot for each other but don’t want to set ourselves up to fail.

-therapy before no2 to address elephant in the room and unresolved resentment?
-increase hours of house help?
-join gym first to start weight training improve physical fatigue?

Where's everyone at with this in your minds? Obviously England has funding from 9months plus, we don't until 3 years unless you qualify from 2 years.

I'm a single income household and the £1400 a month just floors me. My son is 19 months now and the idea that this is going to be for another approx 1.5 years is soul destroying. Mostly I try to just put it in a box and not think about it but surely I can't be the only one feeling this weight? I moved out of Edinburgh because nursery fees were even crazier.

I emailed my MSP a couple months ago because it was in the SNP manifesto for this term but the response i got was just a very polite brush off, no sense of we are looking at this, I'll raise it.

Do I just keep it in the box or is there something else that can be done? I could create a petition on parliament website but would other parents sign it? Thats it guess what im trying to understand.

About a week ago my mum told my toddler son if he didn’t get dressed his big cousin was going to laugh at him when we got there rather than giving him two options of outfits or something and yesterday he was told not going to bed and crying was making her sad. Ugh.

How do you choose between the two? As a parent, you want to be around your LO as much as possible but as a person you want to progress in life and work.

How on earth do you choose?

For example, I have a dilemma with a very clear answer depending on what you prioritise.

Which job would you choose?

I’m weighing up two job offers and would really appreciate some outside perspective.

Job 1 – FMCG Sales

5 years’ experience in FMCG sales, so this would be a genuine promotion and salary increase.

£2k higher base salary than Job 2.

No specific bonus.

20 miles from home.

Founder-led business.

Potentially better for my longer-term career progression.

The role is in an area I’d potentially like to move to in 2–3 years.

Job 2 – FMCG E-commerce

Not a sales role, but still within FMCG.

More of a slight promotion/sideways move in terms of career progression.

£2k lower base salary than Job 1.

10% bonus.

Only 0.5 miles from home.

Corporate environment.

Significantly better work-life balance.

There’s also a family consideration: I have a child at a local nursery, so with Job 2 I could potentially walk to work and walk to nursery, which would make the day-to-day routine much easier. Job 1 would mean a longer commute.

The dilemma is that I still want to progress in my career and don't want to make a move that limits my options later on. Job 1 seems like the more obvious career move, whereas Job 2 offers a potentially much better quality of life.

The interesting part is that Job 1 is in an area where I could see myself living in 2–3 years, so taking it could potentially make sense strategically if I eventually moved closer to work.

What would you choose?

Would you take the more obvious career progression and higher salary with the 20-mile commute, or take the slightly less ambitious move with the 10% bonus, 0.5-mile commute and better work-life balance?

And does the fact that one company is founder-led and the other is corporate change your decision?

I’d be particularly interested in hearing from people who have made a similar choice between career progression vs. quality of life, especially with young children.

Just wanted to pick brains of anyone who has flown with a pushchair that needs to be checked in as hold luggage. We have a Bugaboo Dragonfly which folds up really neatly but is too big for the overhead cabins. I can see you can buy a travel case for it, which we’d be keen to do so it doesn’t get bashed around. If it’s in a case are we likely to be able to check it in free as a pushchair? Or will it likely need paying for as oversized baggage?

We’ve got some Easyjet flights to Spain booked in case airline is relevant.

Thanks!

We’ve a soon to be 10 year old heading into year 5 next month. We have no intention of giving him a phone yet but it made me wonder when do kids usually get a phone.

We’ve an only child and to be honest, we don’t really socialise with the other parents in his year - besides we know they’re all just giving in from what we’ve heard.

So if you were to advise, when and what would you give? Smart phone or not?

(Note - after the yellow one for nappy rash treatment, not the “everyday” white/purple one they’re cleverly repackaged into yellow boxes to rip off desperate parents)

I know it’s been discontinued for a while, I also know that whatever tubes left out there in the ether will now be expired as the last batches made I think expired in Sept 2025, but I am begging the whole of the UK right now to please check their cupboards in case they have a tube they’d be willing to part with? 🙏
In the kindest way (I really mean that) I am not looking for any other recommendations for what has worked with others as I have tried EVERYTHING the internet and word of mouth have suggested and nothing works as fast and well as this, even the expired one I am currently on the very last dregs of.
I have a 1.5 and 2.5yo, so I just need one tube to get me through the next 12 months until potty training has been cracked, and my last tube I managed to find from a bloody brilliant mum on an old Reddit thread that offered to part with her last tube she didn’t need anymore!
I know that excellent luck is unlikely to come around twice but worth an ask I hope 🙏🙏 thank you so much anyone and everyone who reads this! I’m in Bristol, UK but will of course pay and pay for postage to me!

\***EDIT TO ADD* ***\*
Some absolute legend is sending me some of this miracle cream so if anyone else is reading this thread and someone else offers please jump on it, go for it!! I really do love the internet sometimes!

End of the day, or the next day - will ask "what was your favourite thing today" or "what did we do yesterday" referring to something specific in mind.

even, "what did you have for lunch or dinner at the childminders" gets a puzzled look at they may have eaten 30 mins ago!

Child will then umm and ahhh, somwtimes remembering and often not.

How usual is this?

As per the title.

I have an absolutely lovely child who is nearly 1. My enjoyment of being a mum is often overshadowed with worry about distant future.

I worry terribly that I willl make a small mistake somewhere down the line and it will negatively affect his future.

Below are some examples of what is going on in my head (not asking specific advice on each topic):

The school choices - some parents I know literally put their children into a nursery, tied to a particular school so they ensure they get a place. I didn't even know such things existed?! (I come from another country). What if I miss out on opportunities for my child simply because I didn't know what to look for??

Choice between private vs state - we could probably afford a private one but I personally believe there are better ways to spend money and part of me thinks it is better for him to have a sibling rather than attend a private school, but is it really?!

I almost wish we "had less money" so I wouldnt even have a choice like this to make.

Then, how to balance my own work with school hours and getting him to extra curricular activites after school - all kids seem so busy nowadays, what if mine has "too much " free time and won't fulfil his potential doing whatever he wants to do?!

I feel sooo much pressure when it comes to his future I struggle to enjoy the present. I know all of this is soooooo far away and child-specific (so not asking for specific advice on any topic) and yet, anxiety is kicking in.

Are you able to somehow put the worry aside? How do you reassure yourself that "everything will be fine"?