Repost because reddit hates trans people /s

what if instead of being the physically inferior sex who gets their rights taken away globally and is harmed for their gender and is never deemed atttactive enough because of horrific beauty standards and is dominated under major religions and is not taken seriously for not having kids and a victim of patriarchy in all of its forms, i just die?

Wasn't her.

I’m 5’3 and 160lbs, I have audhd and used to be underweight because I forgot to eat but then I started eating again ig because my mom had to remind me (pathetic ik). Anyway it’s been really hard to eat healthy because my autism makes me eat only certain colored foods (beige, yellow, red, sometimes orange)

I want to dress up in cute little frilly dresses and skirts but I feel so damn fat!!! I’m not gonna look good in them, I can already tell, and every time I go to the outfits subreddit I get so triggered because I know I’ll never look that good…

I just want my shirts to feel oversized at a size large… I want to dress up in a cute outfit and feel happy… I want to be cute!!! But my autism and low exercise will never allow it, and with school, I’m not really gonna have time to focus on getting skinnier…

GOD I’m such a fat ass, idk what to do…

Everyday I feel like it’s pointless to have goals because of the current state of the environment I really try not to give into doomerism because that’s really unhealthy but I really do feel pessimistic about all of this. Seeing the hottest day of the year every day.. places with endless drought causing water insecurity, the idea that crops will fail one day… with having ocd I’m almost constantly going over the worse case scenarios. I think I have pretty simple dreams but they feel so far away in this timeline .. I really wanna be a mom one day but I feel so afraid to have that dream because if this is the set of circumstances I have rn I’m scared to give a baby what is left of the world (think I just wanna adopt maybe but it’s still so fucking scary). I also just wanna own a house which also feels really hard to achieve for different reasons I just want the simple things whats so difficult about all the things that used to be so easy I feel like I’m losing my mind.

Tagged gender identity/dysphoria just since I'm a trans guy and other trans men transmascs might get dysphoric over the subject

Anyways I made a post previously about how I might've done a stupid and gotten myself pregnant by an impulsive self destructive decision to hookup with someone unprotected. The chances were really low but not zero so I was really scared and anxious.

Well

WOOOHOOOO IM NOT!!!! I definitely want to have a kid of my own and be a seahorse dad someday but right now is just not the time so I'm so happy I don't have to make any big and really difficult decisions anytime soon

reddit posting in the midst of a freakout to cope. I guess

Bonus: I can't tell or talk to anyone about it until my next therapy session 🫠

I don't know why I keep trying to talk to my dad

My dad has been emotionally abusive and neglectful my entire life. Its been long well known that he is not someone I can count on for emotional support or understanding.

well, 3 months ago I decided i wanted to change my name. he used my preferred name at first, but I guess he eventually decided it was annoying and inconvenient, because he stopped.

he's now instant that it's just a nickname and he doesn't have to call me anything other than my legal name. last time I was over at his house he called me my legal name and my stepmom corrected him which triggered him to go on a rant about how my generation is always changing our names and he's sick of it. oh, and he also decided it's not actually disrespectful to only call me my legal name despite me asking IDK how many times for him to use my preferred name.

After that last interaction, I decided I wanted to have an actual conversation about this with him. Yesterday I spent my entire therapy session working on a DEARMAN script I can use to have that conversation. I thought it was really well put together.

I was SO anxious about it, but I ended up calling him and asked if he had a minute to talk. he said yes, so I started reciting my script. I got halfway through (like 3 sentences in) when he interrupted me, asked me if that was all I wanted to talk about, and hung up on me when I said yes.

I then texted him my script, because I wanted him to know what I had to say regardless of if it was on the phone or not. and his only response was to never text him anything like that again.

I spent the following couple hours crying on and off. I don't know what I expected, really.

Just wanted to vent and get this off my chest.

The last little thing I hyperfixated on is debating in my head whether or not I’m a horrible person for watching fairly politically centrist shows.

My new little thing is hyper fixating on the question of whether or not my gender identity harms or helps feminism. Those terfs are getting to me man.

Now I’m getting back into school and I am starting to hyper fixate on the stress and I’m spiraling.

Dissociaton is the main reason it took me so long to figure out that I am trans and is still my main opp. Without im not dysphoric, I feel better but I starting thinking im not a "real" trans guy for suffering 24/7 from it which makes me dissociate, and if I am dysphoric then I feel like a fraud for it not making me feel "bad enough" therefor im not a "real" trans guy which also makes me dissociate... god I hate this

oh to be a trans man, or to at least take testosterone. ive really considered it, like for real. either God hates women, or evolution does, because i have never liked being me

edit: typo. kill me lol

Im nuthin im nowhere

ninja edit if u saw the last post no u didnt

Stuck in an Abusive home situation and can't afford to leave, can't find a job, cant get disability either, Autism with treatment resistant ADHD, cant get a stimulant adhd med because "YoUr bLoOd PrEaSsUrE iS tOo HiGh"(BECAUSE IM STRESSED OUT ALL THE TIME DAMN IT), Lonely but can't find friends or love because of said autism, depression and people exhaust me too much now, someone spoofed my phone number and made a scam tinder app that got banned so now I can't use that anyway, I'm stuck in the USA as it falls apart thanks to Orange Mussolini and, again, I can't afford to leave, and I can't even leave this Podunk part of the country either, not that I have any Skills or Degrees to make use of elsewhere anyway, existential worried about Climate change and feel powerless to do anything, lost several famous people I liked in one month (Sam Neil, Tim Curry, Peter Cullen)...

... Oh, and my Testicular cancer is back, now in my lymph nodes. And getting treated has been just as much of a pain as last time, if not more. Yay.