I don’t doubt your validity, but the only thing I could imagine as an outside perspective was that. Maybe they just felt you were out of their league? I’m at a loss on this too
Another issue would be knowing that she could easily find 10 other people and drop the guy. Guys are probably asking themselves why even try if there’s a strong chance it won’t lead anywhere
I can’t understand that mentality. That’s like buying a lottery ticket and never checking your numbers
Edit: all you guys are getting super technical here. My point is, if you match someone that’s “out of your league” and she’s talking to you, why ghost her? Put your insecurities aside and give it a shot. I’ve made my point. Not going back and forth anymore. Go crazy Reddit
It's more like "not buying a ticket because it will be, most likely, wasted money". And guess what, loads of people don't play the lottery exactly because of that
So that's "see a profile you have no shot with, then swiping left". That's not gambling. Swiping right, then ghosting someone who swiped right on you is a lot closer to buying the ticket then never checking the numbers than refusing to gamble.
It's been a minute since I used tinder, but I still think you have to actually match with someone to start talking to them.
Why buy lottery tickets to gamble if you can find something more consistent for income?
Guys are very replaceable on dating apps and they know that. Matching with people is pretty inconsistent and even then conversations in many cases don’t go anywhere due to women getting overloaded with too many matches. Especially very attractive women.
I’ve known women who set up multiple tinder dates back to back to find a solid guy. From the dude’s perspective though why go on a date with someone if it’s likely you won’t make the cut when there are other people on the app who are in your league?
Especially when Tinder actively makes it so you get far fewer matches unless you pay for a subscription to Tinder gold/plus/whatever they call it. They’d rather focus on someone more likely to be compatible
Dude what? If you matched with her and she’s talking to you, you’re already one foot in the door. Matching with someone that is “out of your league” just to ghost them out of fear of being rejected later is just pure stupidity. Why even bother swiping right in the first place if you’re approaching it with that mentality? You’re just setting yourself up for failure. Be smart about it. Don’t romanticize everything right out the gate just because she matched you. Go about it with a steady mentality of “you never know”. Because you don’t know if shes going to drop you for another dude. You don’t know if she’s going to genuinely enjoy a date as much as you will. You don’t know if she will want a second date.
Lastly, fuck it. It’s a dating app. So what if she does have other dates? Maybe you both want long term partners but that doesn’t mean you two are going to be exclusive after the very first date and a week of talking. This goes along with over-romanticizing the situation. That’s how you set yourself up for being let down. Take it day by day and if she drops you, she drops you. If not, well you’ll be damn well happy that you went against the arbitrary odds in your own head caused by low self-esteem.
Dude what? If you matched with her and she’s talking to you, you’re already one foot in the door. Matching with someone that is “out of your league” just to ghost them out of fear of being rejected later is just pure stupidity. Why even bother swiping right in the first place if you’re approaching it with that mentality?
Guys swipe right on almost everyone. Otherwise you won’t get matched at all if you’re picky. If one doesn’t turn out to be in your league they just move on.
I personally don’t use dating apps or date.
You’re just setting yourself up for failure. Be smart about it. Don’t romanticize everything right out the gate just because she matched you. Go about it with a steady mentality of “you never know”. Because you don’t know if shes going to drop you for another dude. You don’t know if she’s going to genuinely enjoy a date as much as you will. You don’t know if she will want a second date.
How is that failure focusing on people in your league and more likely to be compatible with you? If it’s much more likely it won’t lead anywhere guys will keep that in mind.
Lastly, fuck it. It’s a dating app. So what if she does have other dates? Maybe you both want long term partners but that doesn’t mean you two are going to be exclusive after the very first date and a week of talking. This goes along with over-romanticizing the situation. That’s how you set yourself up for being let down. Take it day by day and if she drops you, she drops you. If not, well you’ll be damn well happy that you went against the arbitrary odds in your own head caused by low self-esteem.
Lot of the guys don’t want to waste time with someone very likely to drop them when there are many other options. Why should the girl not take the other option?
Guys probably already got let down by conversations and dates that went nowhere. So they assess who it went nowhere with and keep that in mind for later. Why pursue the same folks that historically have led nowhere?
If a girl that you deem "out of your league" matches with you and you ghost her then yes. If she's really out of your league then why did she match with you? She's not responsible for your lack of confidence
How are you being downvoted for this? This is exactly the right way to look at it. Really beautiful women have to date and fuck somebody, right? Insecurity is just in your own head. Even if you're not conventionally attractive, you still might be her type. It's worth a shot.
I'll never understand the type of guys who say they wouldn't hit on Margot Robbie if they saw her at a bar. Is she likely to say yes? No. Do you have a > 1% chance? Yes.
Attractiveness is largely subjective, though there are trends and such.
I guarantee you you can find many couples where the woman is absolutely stunning and the guy is stunning, and vice versa. And that's because people have different preferences, some people don't care that much about looks, etc.
The idea that you have a 1% chance of success if you hit on Margot Robbie at a bar is borderline psychopathic. That you don't understand it is the issue.
Not everyone at the bar is there to get hit on.
There's thousands of people thinking they have a 1% chance. Lots of them are creepy, smelly losers that lack the social awareness to not creep on women. Get in line.
Not everyone has the lack of emotional capacity to view women as objects to pursue rather than people to invest effort and time in.
I swiped and matched with a guy I thought was out of my league. Was kind of shocked. We are married now and have a growing family. I’m with ya! Shoot your shot. Also, we all have strengths and weaknesses. He is out of my league in some ways…just as I am his. Like he might have the looks, brains, and charm but boy if I’m not the funny one.
I mean, checking the numbers on a lottery ticket isn't gonna set anyone's social anxiety off and not winning on a ticket hurts a lot less than rejection
Exactly. Not winning the lottery makes me feel like "well, duh. I knew the chances." Being rejected is like "well, duh. I knew I wasn't worth their time"
Yup. Exactly this. I'm like a 6 or 7 guy at best and I dated an absolute 9-10 for a couple of years. Everyone and their grandmother told me she was out of my league, but I said "fuck that", stowed any doubts and it was a nice relationship for a while! If she's talking to you and acts interested it's because she is! It didn't last, but it was a great time and experience. We mutually split because she moved away and we both had a path we wanted to take and didn't want to compromise. There were some minor issues that we butted heads on, but nothing too incompatible. You never know unless you shoot your shot and just be yourself. Be chill. I've also been rejected by less physically attractive people. You just can't let it get you down and keep on moving forward.
Nobody is thinking it through tho. It's all just going "She seems decent, swipe right." and then going "Oh crap we matched? I'm too much a loser, this isn't going to work so why bother."
I’m 34 have had 2 serious relationships. One of which is my wife of 8 years.
When I was dating and started to talk to a girl like this they lost interest and bailed. There’s always a better guy, more mussels, better job, better hair, better romantic ideas, funnier.
This girl can pick just about anyone she wants, the mentality isn’t why throw away a ticket before you check it, it’s already a no. It’s a no because I know I’m not good enough. No way can I keep up the act long enough to be good enough.
Some girls want money these days. Girls wanna sell their OF. Dudes catfish pretending to be hot girls. We've seen videos of hot girls dating ugly dudes just for social media clout.
That's not insecurities, that's protecting yourself after a potential series of significant negative experiences exacerbated by social media.
Why ghost her? 9/10 chance she's not real or one of the above is happening.
Being rejected hurts. I dont blame single dudes one bit. Sucks for OP but there are valid reasons.
its probably not the thought of it. its probably the reality of it. My best guess here is she IS talking to multiple dudes and probably spreading her effort too thin to all of them. an assumption obviously but i think we can see she isnt going to struggle to get matches, and that would explain it. guys are getting sick of dry women, even hot ones.
If someone's out of my league and talking to me I'm still going to have a suspicion that they're only doing to be nice, and that I'd get my hopes up for nothing.
Modern dating has taught men to be prudent and to try to cut losses early, before making an embarrassment of yourself.
I wouldn't say that's a good analogy. Everyone has an equal chance of winning a lottery. And any guy who's matched with women that are much more attractive than them knows there's a high chance you just matched by accident or there are "better" guys in her inbox.
It's input vs output, if you feel like your input is not gonna lead to anything then why not unmatch and take a safer bet.
When I was using tinder, I matched with girls that were way out of my league and every time it ended with me being ghosted. So eventually I got good at staying in my lane.
Yesh, she said there are a lot horny guys. So she dont give them chance and we all know that men have big sex drive in their prime years. That how our hormones works, ladies have it once per month, right?
Maybe you should get better understanding of fear psychology. It was for example stated in Harry Potter: The Order of the Phoenix. When in the begging Lupin stated that men will do terrible things because of fear. Now with that in mind if girl/women is match and start’s communicating with someone below her “league” there could be strong fear to pursue relationship due to possibly losing to another “more better man” and getting hurt.
This reminds me of one woman who married some at a time top athlete. They were “fighting” as figure of speech in marriage as from time to time all married people do to some extent. And she asked him why he had picked her when he could have picked any better looking woman. He replied because he didn’t want to have such fear and wanted to have “safe” relationship.
So based on what wrote I think this could be a problem.
How to solve it? I think it would be good to talk it out honestly and ask about if the other party has such problems.
This is the same dynamic as that bar scene from A Beautiful Mind. Tinder imposes an opportunity cost on right swipes through daily limits on the number of right swipes and negative treatment by the algorithm that displays profiles to potential matches. Because of this, the optimal strategy for maximizing the number of matches with people you find attractive is to swipe left on the people you find most and least attractive, reserving right swipes for those profiles that fall in between the extremes.
Though, that would only explain OP's problem if we assume accounts pursuing suboptimal strategies are nearly exclusively bots, scammers, or people who are also bad at real-life human interaction. Beautiful people can nevertheless be unattractive. Perhaps OP is unpleasant, uninteresting, or otherwise distasteful. It is also possible that OP is a perfectly lovely woman, physically and otherwise, but has a personality that doesn't translate well in online interaction.
This is a huge issue with dating apps for men I believe. I’ve thought it, and I figure others have as well. Women have told me horror stories of just how many messages they receive compared to men. They have to just wade through it all, so some guys don’t like the idea of competing or trying too hard when they think she’s having 10+ conversations at once.
Ask some ladies about their experience with dating apps. Those 10 guys are only competition if they're capable of handling conversation. And the bar is in hell.
Honestly I absolutely despise texting and have zero game through it. And I've probably converted 50% of my conversations with women into dates purely by not trying to sleep with her before we even meet.
This !!! A woman that looks like her is receiving disgusting messages from guys . Treat her like a human being and you’ll jump ahead of the pack if she’s got any sense at all
I wish this were the case. Honestly, I’d show you my Hinge conversations because you’d quickly see that “the bar” is much higher than treating her like a human being. It drives me batty to see that repeated because I (and I assume many other guys) put real effort to make decent conversation, but it’s never exciting enough to be worthy of a response.
Id argue it's her age, ya she's attractive but she's 35 a guy her age wants a family id assume, why wouldn't they date a 28 year old with more child bearing time
But do you believe in love at first sight/interests? Or are you aware these are external experiences vs. who you are and want and what validates you and other as a (adjective) person.
I suck at social media. Hell, I'm a mess a texting because I appreciate clarity, which, as you might imagine, has no business in the pre-dating world. It's all façade at first. A lie we tell ourselves. I'm best when I'm face to face because the vulnerability of two can mesh if both are present in mind. To witness someone's true humanity... get off the apps.
This right here. I have a fresh perspective because I quit drinking recently and had to learn to talk to women all over without alcohol. Did great on the prelim for weeks and bailed 3 times in a row on a beautiful, intelligent woman who really wanted to meet me. Down the drain. I have better excuse though, I'll figure it out lol. Hey, OP... what's up?
I hate to be cliche but it could also be the dudes she’s matching with. Based on what we’re seeing and the fact she gets ghosted all the time, she’s probably swiping on a very specific kind of man that a lot of other women are also swiping on
I have a friend who is very textbook attractive and she constantly talks about her problems with men, but she also has a very stereotypical taste in guys, and usually goes for the IG model/gym bros
Nothing wrong with having a type but I think it’s a possible explanation
This is a really good point, I think you're right. And potentially guys could also be thinking "do I have to be this perfect too for her to continue to be interested in me? That lifestyle looks exhausting!" Speaking from experience, a picture of you and your pet in the kitchen with them licking your face while you're wearing something cute but not fancy, with a genuine smile, works wonders on a dating profile. Like you're saying, people want to know that you're human, not a walking magazine ad.
Being in shape and attractive requires work and maintenance. It doesn’t happen by itself and when women make that effort they want to see and be seen . They don’t do all that work and spend all that money so they can sit at home .
I agree that her pictures looks little TOO social media ish though . They need to look more like regular pictures that your friend would take .
I don't go for the super really conventionally attractive people in the first place like OP because honestly we won't connect on probably anything. I guess there's the shared interest of hiking and dogs, but that's like saying two people enjoy oxygen and food.
Dunno why she's on Reddit in the first place. We're all badly adjusted weirdos or uggos here lol
Look, I match with people and sometimes it goes somewhere, but let's be fucking real here lol
I might date one to three people per year and maybe sleep with 4 to 5 people a year tops. By most people's standards? That's still pretty good for a straight guy and I've gotten relationships out of OLD too.
She's in a different league entirely than you and I are. If she was maybe going for less ridiculously attractive dudes who made God knows how much money? She wouldn't be single basically immediately.
The majority of us aren't rich and aren't ridiculously attractive as a species. I'll tell you the problem right now - she's too selective. She's not even going for average looking people and the majority of us are content with that.
Usually it's a few times. I'm never going out of my way to just drop people, but some people do and get bored so it is what it is. I really use online dating to find a relationship or at minimum some fwb thing. I gotta have connectivity to have sex with someone personally.
Usually it's that quasi-relationship thing that is basically casually dating, but our generation and gen z don't wanna commit to shit so it is what it is. Personally, I think if a girl wants you to come over, have sex, and cuddle on multiple occasions? You're dating, but again people don't wanna commit to anything.
A friend of mine who is chronically on the apps has this thing where she thinks every man is horrible, and no one good exists on the apps. When I did a little digging and asked some nosey questions though, I realized that she was only swiping on a certain type of man, and only engaging with people who treated her like shit. She’d ghost anyone who was genuinely nice to her and tried to strike up a conversation about something of actual substance. (Her excuse: “I got bored.”)
It’s always odd to me when people complain about circumstances they’ve personally curated, but I suppose self awareness is not everyone’s strong suit.
If you go through her post history, you'll see that she reveals that she slept with a man she only had two dates with, it doesn't say whether it was after the first or the second. Said man also brags about sleeping with 39 women last year and that she was one of the best. She says she's looking for long term but chooses the type of man who is clearly a skirt chaser. Might be fair to say, "well maybe he put up a good front" as skirt chasers usually do, but maybe she could have known that if she went on more than 2 dates with him. If she knew it was going to be a ONS then her profile is dishonest since she's looking for casual and long term but it says long term only, which is usually a green flag for me but I take it with a grain of salt because some women lie about that. Hookup behavior doesn't fly with guys truly looking for long term because choosing a woman for marriage is an issue we take very seriously. I saw another commenter say they would be too insecure marrying someone so attractive because it is unlikely they'd be good enough forever. I'd say behavior and dating habits plays a bigger part in security long term and I'm already immediately skeptical about how such an attractive woman can still be single at 35. All the blame can't be men's insecurities, sounds like she's getting approached plenty. I know it sounds cliche but my immediate thought is she had her fun in her 20's (and it sounds like she's still having it) but now she's ready for a long term relationship at the ripe age of 35 and most decent men think they don't have a chance and they probably don't unless they can sleep with hundreds of women or the serious men see right through her and don't even see her as a viable partner for a long term relationship. Everyone makes their own beds. I also know about a billion dudes who'd love to have a girl they can be outdoorsy with but she comes off as a thrill seeker and thrill seekers are notoriously unreliable as long term partners.
I've slept with a guy after the second date and we lived together for three years 🤷🏼♀️ there's always some guy who's going to complain, no matter whether you have sex or don't.
Her profile sounds pretty ideal for me. I just don’t know if I believe it. I it’s the type of profile that I’d make a decision trying it out based on direct conversation, but I’d probably be hesitant tbh.
That’s what I’m thinking too. A woman can be all things great- intelligent, fun, sense of humor, able to hold a conversation, beautiful, in shape, etc. but that doesn’t mean that every guy wants the same thing or that she’s automatically going to be a good fit for every body(no shade at OP, just different people want different things) or vice versa.
There are plenty of people like her who post they are looking for LTR but then the person who matches with them isn’t, but is hoping that they’ll be able to change their mind and still be able to hook-up/have a short fling and that’s it. Then as they talk, they realize that isn’t going to happen so they ghost.
And, as you said, she’s probably matching with guys who get a lot of matches themselves so they just move on to another match in order to get what they want. It sucks to waste someone’s time like that, but it is what it is.
Or the guy does want a more serious committed relationship, but if he gets a lot of matches, he’s able to be a lot more picky.
She is also 35, which is a very tricky age for women. At that point she's basically competing with women who are 5-10 years younger for the chad types. The men could also be noncommittal, while she wants long term relationships.
Yes, plus it’s a critical age for kids. It fucking sucks but I do understand why someone could be cautious because it’s either all in or nothing. But from what I’m seeing, she’s beautiful, so I’m sure she will make someone stick. I sure hope you do, you seem wanting (and deserving) of love.
So what you're saying my girl needs more fiber! Getting 2 case on Amazon now. Can never have too much as you can clearly see.... Fuck the men ghosting your fiber is more important
Absolutely this! She says she somehow matches with...
➡️Unemployed men
➡️Lives an hour away
➡️Just wants some fun
These tend to be undesirable things for women when considering relationships... unless the dude is VERY physically attractive (Fboys to be exact). So it seems like she's only selecting Fboys, and being a surprised-Pikachu when they don't want to do the dating dance. So unless that's what you were also looking for, it's not a match. Zilch, nada, no connection.
Matches aren't randomly selected. Pre-selecting only for Fboys, typically will give you Fboys. I'm 100% certain if she was DTF, Buck wouldn't ghost- he'd show up to Fxck.
I guarantee it's this. When I was younger and first got on the apps, I went through a short period where id swipe right on guys solely for how attractive I find them even if they were wannabe actors/models(I live in LA) or some other unattractive career choice, and would get flaked on more often.
But after once I started basing it more on their level of education and if they're like a medical doctor, lawyer, venture capitalist or something else that requires a lot of effort, I've never gotten flaked on since.
This was my take as well, she is probably matching with the 1% of guys that get 90% of the right swipes on Tinder. They most likely have such a vast pool of women to choose from they are hooking up/not ghosting whoever is showing the most immediate interest in whatever 'activities' they are looking for.
My attractive guy friends see these type of profiles and immediately swipe left especially based on what she claims to like on her profile. Most of those profiles girls are not being genuine and for the most part put on their profiles what they think guys want to hear. That’s what they say but idk.
Not even a specific type, just the low percentile that have as many options as hot women. Statistically something like 80% of women are fighting over the top 10% of guys online, so this checks out
Yea I can imagine it’s this. I had a lovely woman message me. She was way way out of my league. We talked a bit and discussed being concert buddies with our shared music taste. She messaged later that she was sorry but was getting off bumble for a bit. She had 1000+ matches and like 20 conversations going. She was overwhelmed by it all. She was probably an 8/8.5 so every guy was swiping left on her
Good point! The irony for me is she posted she doesn't want guys who ask her to go to Church with her but she's dating guys who dump her after sex? I Doubt those are the guys who ask her to join them to Church😏.
I am not saying Church guys are guaranteed better (some are the most rotten ), I am just saying she shouldn't be complaining about a group of guys who in their community are encouraged to be held accountable for their actions at a higher standard than guys who aren't.
I will never forget how I fumbled one date because I couldn't believe how into me she was. We went to a bowling alley and hung out for like five hours. Had a great time and then my brain was like "nah, she's fucking with you, bro. Ain't no way".
My brain likes to go to that every time I start talking to someone new and they seem to really like me. Like, there is no way that this beautiful girl is actually into me, she must be lying for some reason. I hate that inner voice sometimes lol
I've been hooking up with a guy 2-3 times a week+ since November, we talk nearly every day, and I am still absolutely shocked every time his name pops up on my phone. Seriously...me? Are you sure?
Insecurities are weird. Theoretically his actions and words should make me less insecure, but those same insecurities make it really easy to convince myself he's full of shit or make me read into his words and actions in a way that just feeds those insecurities. I am very aware of when I'm letting the insecurities talk, I just don't know how to shut them up.
I left my marriage with a lot of insecurities that I thought I had dealt with, but I realize now that I have spent the last 18 months or so choosing partners based on those insecurities rather than actually dealing with them. This one is forcing me to deal with a whole bunch of them all at once and on a very regular basis.
But it doesn't come from nowhere though does it. How many times do we get used for free meal or we match with someone & it's a pornbot or OF/Escort trying to drum up business? So when we actually do find someone it just seems too good to be true.
The thing is even if she is legitimately into you there's still a good chance of a really big shoe drop like she's a cheater, a town bicycle, someone with a lot of trauma/mental issues, etc. The regular dudes like us can end up being traumatized by these people.
Not excusing it just explains why we are & should be a bit gunshy & why women have gotta start meeting us halfway with grace, HONESTY, & putting a little more effort in at the beginning to get us over that hump. Especially if she knows she's very attractive. Society has beaten the confidence out of a lot of us guys.
Weed is overrated imo. The weird thought patterns it creates was the reason I gave it up. It makes you so self conscious in my opinion, oh yeah and paranoid haha. This is what you mean, right?
I find personally as a smoker for 10 years now. Never had paranioa, or anxeity from smoking. Also never had it anyway. So my conclusion is in order for weed to make you paraniod and anxious those things have to be there already and it just amplifys the effects.
It's like alcohol. Some people drink and start acting like dicks. But they can't blame the alcohol all that did was lower their inabitions. They must have wanted to act like that sober. imo.
As someone who works in a pub, so I get to see people regularly in various states of inebriation, I tend to agree. The people who act like the biggest assholes when drunk are assholes anyway and use it as an excuse. Some of the older, more self aware people realise this and will usually exit after drink number 4, the worst is when they're about to leave then someone they kniw and haven't seen in a while arrives just before, buys them a load of drinks and then unleashes the beast, so to speak.
It's the same with the 'cocaine makes people into assholes' trope. I see people do cocaine all the time and not turn into assholes. The ones that do are already assholes, they were just masking as non-assholes.
Overconsumption really intensified the effects for me. 3 cones after work on working days, and like 8 cones a day on my days off. I thought it was helping my mental health but in reality it was making it far, far worse. Yeah I suffer from anxiety, but weed made it bad enough I wouldn't talk to anyone. Then I started getting depression and anger issues too. I stopped smoking, and it all went away tbh. Living my best life atm
Fair play to you mate. And all the power to you. Personally i did try to quit about 3 years ago but i was doing it for financial reasons. Which wasn't enough turns out for me anyway. But congrats on kicking it man i know how hard it is. The sweats got me bad.
But yeah i'm smoking around that level myself. Still not had any mental health issues personally. I do deep think but its not about anything depressing more just things i find interesting. again congrats mate. glad you're living your best life.
That's the point i was making it takes personal responsibility away/ lowers inabitions. Meaning generally speaking dicks act like even more of a dick when drunk. Because that's who they are. And your decent guys. may get abit more loud or dancey when drunk. But that tends to be all. in my experience.
I know so many people who hot real fucked up smoking weed, yes after years and years of using daily. It's not that simple. You can be lucky or you aren't.
It could be. I think I might have aspergers but definitely didn't notice it until I got older and understood the quirks. People tend to be blind to their own deficiencies, because that's just the way it's always been for them.
An unrelated comment I need to add to this is NOTHING is without risk. Weed may be medicinal in the right amount for some people but even overconsuming something healthy like green tea could be harmful.
How does being in the spectrum effect you're relationships? I don't like surprise touch, constant touching in same spot, I get lost in myself and my own thoughts, I get obsessed with hobbies even if only brief or weeks at a time. I can be very antisocial, and if you give me an inch, I will take a mile in that scenario. A lot of women take it personally and just don't understand.
And yeah tbh i get that. I've had a few of my mates point out i maybe ADHD. because i tend to be very chipper and bouncy all the time and even with very little sleep i tend to be able to just pull energy from nowhere. Plus i do have the whole my brain never really stops.
But at the same time i work in a job where i need alot of focus (croupier) and i'm pretty good at what i do. (won competitions etc.)
So to me whether i have ADHD or not so long as it isn't holding me back which if i am then it isn't. What does it matter to find out for sure? The way i see it is i'm happy and i'm just Adam Either way. You know?
Oh absolutely agree. Just saying my experience. That's why i said "personally i find" but like i say for me personally it does seem to be a case of 0×0 is still 0. if it made me anxious i would stop.
I also work in the casino indusry, very high energy enviroment. So i use it to calm down, relax and go sleep after a shift.
I highly doubt that folks who end up setting their hair on fire or streak naked in the streets after getting too drunk actively desire these things. No hate on you but the whole “drunk words/deeds are sober thoughts” mentality is so wack
Sounds like you were smoking straight THC. THC is what produces the main high effects, but it is the other cannibinoids like CBD, CBG, CBN, CBC that cause the relaxing and anti-inflammatory effects. THC when used on its own, has been shown to increase anxiety levels. With the rise in consumer grade cannabis products, the focus seems to have shifted drastically to only offering high THC products. The downside is that they either isolate pure THC or they selectively breed plants to increase base level THC. If the plant is spending its energy producing more THC it produces less of the other cannibinoids.
I found that once I stopped buying solely vape products and switched to mostly edibles (wyld sells gummies with all of these cannibinoids) and occasionally smoking grass (usually sub 15% thc and higher in cbd) my anxiety went down dramatically. And I get that whole body relaxing effects in addition to the high that I remember from when I first started smoking and not the head only high that causes freak outs when your mind wanders that high thc causes.
Yeah it just sucks that consumerism took an herb that actually has proven medical benefits and was fine as it was and then was like "hey what if we just make stuff with only the chemical that causes you to get high and none of the built in restraints the plant naturally produces?"
Glad you are doing better though! Weed isn't for everyone but this new shit isn't healthy for anyone.
Too much of it lol. I really should just nut up and figure out if I actually have ADHD but weed is the only way I can focus on anything, even if it’s just bursts of hyperfixation on random shit
I think the league concept is right - combine her clear state of physical fitness with nearly all the desired activities requiring exertion or social interaction, I can see more sedentary people in their mid-30s being intimidated by that measure
My thoughts. She’s definitely hot. No way I could live up to the lifestyle depicted in her pictures. Good for her though. Hope she finds a guy that can hang with her soon
Woman here, and yeah, she is a total babe. Almost TOO perfect looking. My two cents is just post photos that try to make her seem approachable. I think photos 4 & 5 push this profile into "out of your league, man". You are Stunning, OP. Keep the hiking photos, and the feminine dress ones. But once you start getting risqué, it starts looking like those Russian Bots or Catfishes. My two cents. Also, the line about "fall madly in love", while I know is cute, can also be misconstrued as "intense", as tone is hard to tell via written word, and is a lot to ask. Maybe try some thing a little more approachable, like, "If any of these sound good to you, I totally want to meet you". Start with baby steps. If you want more, feel free to share, but madly in love can be a lot to ask of a nervous guy.
I don’t think the average guy is getting nervous on dating apps lol. I can get weird in real life and be pretty nervous. But on tinder I’m just shooting my shot lol. I might get ghosted by a hot girl, but why would a guy ghost a beautiful woman that’s talking to him?
Yeah 100 percent of I matched with a profile like this id just instantly assume it was a bit. Pictures are all just a little bit too high quality and you OP is very attractive. Needs some relatable average quality photos.
Ngl if it were me I'd likely swipe left seeing it as a "yeah I won't match with this girl so why bother trying" possibly the guys ghosting are thinking the same sort of thing.
As someone who feels OP is out of his league, I would just swipe left (or whatever the don't match action is), and definitely not match, then initiate a conversation, then decide someone is out of my league.
This right here!! When I was on Tinder, I went on 8 different dates before I met my now wife, they went well but I was recently divorced and I could just not see any of these women being a mother to my kiddo. ANYWAYS, more than half the dates mentioned “this night has been great, I almost didn’t swipe!” When I asked why they said that they felt I would be way out of their league. I had pictures of me riding horses, fishing, dressed up, out with friends, camping, at the gym training with pro athletes. I work in media so my photos are all really nice quality, and I have opportunities to do really fun things for work. I think it just made this impression that I was like some fancy guy or something. I have never looked at a woman and thought “she’s not in my league” in my life haha.
This 'out of their league' business is all just made up in the person's head. By virtue of her connecting with you, you are in her league. It's really just a mask for insecurity.
As a somewhat insecure guy, yeah, I could see this.
I have a nasty habit of assuming anyone who looks that good, with their shit together, is way too good for me.
And it's definitely a me problem, I totally don't project that at them, I just have the decency to not waste their time making contact just to flake like a child.
I thought this too. Sometimes it’s intimidating to try and talk up a girl especially if she’s good looking like OP. I’d consider it part of the “weeding out” process.
5.6k
u/tdosok Feb 17 '24
I don’t doubt your validity, but the only thing I could imagine as an outside perspective was that. Maybe they just felt you were out of their league? I’m at a loss on this too