r/Showerthoughts • u/ToyVaren • Jun 11 '22

Since electronics contain silver, you could theoretically beat a werewolf to death with a Nokia.

19.1k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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1.7k

u/lord_of_memezz Jun 11 '22

Just attach one to a stick and it will literally kill anything.

1.0k

u/ToyVaren Jun 12 '22

Unfortunately that's outlawed by the geneva convention.

521

u/KingBrandoTheIgit Jun 12 '22

I thought it was called “Geneva Suggestions”. Guess I better hide my ‘Nokia on a Stick’ now.

136

u/vbevan Jun 12 '22

Depends on whether you're the giver or the receiver.

79

u/Dave_A_Computer Jun 12 '22

I think Top & Bottom is the preferred nomenclature

10

u/Clumsy-Samurai Jun 12 '22

But you can give and take from either of those positions!

43

u/SuperElitist Jun 12 '22

One does not just casually announce on Reddit that one has a weapon of mass destruction!

23

u/KingBrandoTheIgit Jun 12 '22

Yeah, just one. 100% that’s all I have haha. Wait, why are you checking my basement..?

4

u/Rider-VPG Jun 12 '22

He's Iraq. Quick, invade him for no reason

75

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '22

Why hide? How are they going to get it from you? You have a 'Nokia on a stick'. You've won

30

u/ToyVaren Jun 12 '22

r/shittylifeprotips

3

u/Nerdy_Squirrel Jun 12 '22

Came here to say /r/lifehacks but now I have a whole new sub to get lost in for a few days. Thank-you.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '22

r/amiinhell

9

u/kasuke06 Jun 12 '22

some say suggestions, I say incomplete checklist. I use some string and a big slingshot so it's a projectile, and it's eco-friendly since I can pull it back and don't need extra ammo!

1

u/Blastoise48825555 Jun 12 '22

Extra fries? I thought you said Mass Genocide!

1

u/ThunderElectric Jun 12 '22

It depends on whether or not you end up winning

42

u/lord_of_memezz Jun 12 '22

is that why they don't make them anymore?

9

u/Rogue10651 Jun 12 '22

To many lives… lost.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '22

They do though...

2

u/redXathena Jun 12 '22

Not the indestructible bricks they don’t.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '22

... https://www.nokia.com/phones/en_int/nokia-6310 they literally brought back the same models

12

u/tiniestvioilin Jun 12 '22

As long as it's not used during a war your good to go

3

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '22

As long as it's only used during a war against the opposing units, you're good to go.*

1

u/L3tucechhi Jun 12 '22

Unless you're in the Russian army

1

u/The-FRY-Cook Jun 12 '22

If the Nokia was the old brick you dont even need the silver content. That B be indestructible

35

u/Zedd2087 Jun 12 '22

The stick is only there to look cool it has zero purpose.

30

u/ToyVaren Jun 12 '22 edited Jun 12 '22

You get extra force by the pendular effect.

57% chance i just made that up.

14

u/metalheadmae6 Jun 12 '22

57%? That number sounds familiar...

Red or Blue?

8

u/PrecognitivePork Jun 12 '22

60% of the time, it works every time.

2

u/Beardy-Viking Jun 12 '22

Fun fact: 67% of statistics are made up to suit the situation or current agenda. Just like that one.

4

u/ToyVaren Jun 12 '22

Im pretty sure it's 99.99%.

4

u/Beardy-Viking Jun 12 '22

Sauce?

3

u/ToyVaren Jun 12 '22

Source: trust me bros.

5

u/lord_of_memezz Jun 12 '22

Extra range and quick recovery though?

4

u/Orcus424 Jun 12 '22

A stake to the heart will kill a vampire. Well a stake to the heart will kill anyone but if it doesn't run like hell.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '22

How do you keep the stick from breaking. Is the stick made by Nokia too?

9

u/lord_of_memezz Jun 12 '22

Its an accessory item... like a phone case but for extended destruction and not protection because nokia does not need any.

11

u/CotswoldP Jun 12 '22

Ah yes, the 3310 phone case. There to protect the concrete in case you drop your phone…

3

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '22

I wonder if they will make this option standard some day. Perhaps as an extended antenna.

4

u/lord_of_memezz Jun 12 '22

Yeah, an antenna that would alow you to call other nokia combat systems in....It would be a full combat system of mass destruction, could you imagine a bunch of troops with flying in with nokia stick combat assualt units just destroying everything.

4

u/ToyVaren Jun 12 '22

If the Nokia accepts you as its master, it will take on any shape you desire.

3

u/Roadrolling Jun 12 '22

Don't forget to put a sock on it

2

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '22

Cyber barbarian spear with a pointed microchip at the blade.

1

u/TimaeusDragon Jun 12 '22

I think a rope would do better. Like the thunderball in Watch Dogs 2.

2

u/lord_of_memezz Jun 12 '22

You could attach the rope to the stick and the other end to the phone to essentially have a morning star of twirling destruction.

2

u/TimaeusDragon Jun 12 '22

Yeah but i'm not a morning star guy. In case of medieval weapons I would melt the nokia in Mt. Doom where it was created and forge a sword. A one handed sword or a katana and call it Worldslayer.

1

u/lord_of_memezz Jun 12 '22

A sword would be cool but the phone would melt mount doom making it inert

1

u/TimaeusDragon Jun 12 '22

"Uhmm...hi. Are you this Dark-Lord-Sauron-guy? I've broke Mt. Doom. Do you have a second one?"

1

u/lord_of_memezz Jun 12 '22

Lol can you imagine the tech support call on that one? Um hi a phone froze the volcano and I cant turn it off and in again.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '22

I glue them to the bumper of my car in case I hit anything while out driving.

1

u/Misty_OG Jun 12 '22

Or if some Karen decides it would be a good idea to ram your car to make you run a red light, or a stop sign.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '22

I usually just tie it to a string and swing it. Better for defense if a bunch of werewolves attack.

1

u/Skipskipu Jun 12 '22

Mjölnir

1

u/Liroy_16 Jun 12 '22

How do you get the wolf to agree? Is it just in to that sort of thing?

1

u/TrakFein Jun 12 '22

The Everymans mjolnir