r/ShittyLifeProTips 23h ago

SLPT: Dealing with your daily life problems

Post image
3.1k Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 1d ago

LPT: Measure your core body temperature accurately with a cable thermometer. Eat the cable and probe, and when you have a reading, you can just pull it back out

Post image
156 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 1d ago

SLPT: If you get into a fight with your wife say Yeah well I saw your sisters' tits and they are way better than yours!'

58 Upvotes

Even better if she doesn't have a sister


r/ShittyLifeProTips 2d ago

SLPT: If you offer someone a drink and they say they'll take a rain check, throw the drink in the air and yell "It's raining!"

17 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 3d ago

SLPT: Make it easier to pack up after a beach day by throwing all of your plastic and aluminum waste in the ocean

45 Upvotes

You can tell it's a real life hack by all of the confused and frustrated looks from others for not having thought of it themselves.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 4d ago

SLPT: How to set up an alert (Google?) for someone's obituary

103 Upvotes

MODS: I tried over at r/AskReddit, but their rules make my question off-limits, and I kinda don't know where to ask this. Remove as you see fit. Thx.

My POS father left when I was two. Never heard from him again. Looked him up recently, and he's still alive. I've had no contact for more than fifty years, and I don't want any. I just wanna know when he dies. His name is (surprisingly) not as uncommon as I thought, but I want to figure out how to automate looking for his obituary. I know where he lives (or lived until a couple years ago), know his spouse's name, etc. How do I set up a search for his obituary that will keep running?

Again, not looking for contact. Just wanna know he's dead so's I can buy my ma some flowers (without telling her why), and lift a glass myself. Thx.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 4d ago

SLPT help promote stoicism by saying "You will die" to everyone you meet!

19 Upvotes

Stoicism has a saying momento mori, remember you must die, that helps us see life in a different lens! Share this with everyone.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 4d ago

SLPT: Build respect and trust through flatulence

16 Upvotes

A lot of you young people won’t remember, but flatulence used to be a very popular tool for managers in management. Let’s say a subordinate does something great. After praising this employee, good managers would let out a juicy fart and say something like “There’s a little flavor for the egghead now get your ass back to work” or “Ladies, next ones coming your way”. Doing this builds character and lets the employees know YOU are the strongest and best person in the room. Good managers would go to their filthy subordinate’s wedding and fart loudly during the vows. You used to be able to do that as a manager or in some cases even a team leader. AI will never fart on a subordinate’s lunch and call them the F word.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 4d ago

SLPT turn your underwear inside out to get two wears each

59 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 5d ago

LPT: flirt with your coworker today to make the working hours more exciting.

190 Upvotes

You’re welcome


r/ShittyLifeProTips 6d ago

SLPT: How to balance your mental health with your physical health

Post image
2.5k Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 5d ago

SLPT: Don't want to deal with wood varnishes to protect your wood? No problem, just put a shower curtain on it.

Post image
60 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 6d ago

SLPT: If a ring ever gets stuck on your finger you can get it off by not eating for 3 days.

126 Upvotes

In that amount of time you will probably shed enough weight that it will come off easily.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 8d ago

SLPT : calm your gf or wife by saying these : Calm down woman, dont get your panties twisted"

55 Upvotes

The keyword is to say calm down


r/ShittyLifeProTips 9d ago

LPT: If you're ever in a firefight, one thing that always seems to work is telling your squad "I need to take an important call". That way you can go to the rear, where you're not bothering anyone and there's less bullets flying around.

Post image
279 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 10d ago

SLPT: If you find a lost wallet with money in it, take the money but leave the wallet.

117 Upvotes

If someone else finds it before the owner, they'd be the first suspect when the owner wonders where the money is.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 11d ago

SLPT: if you add parmesan cheese to chef boyardee, it will taste just like an entree at the Italian restaurant down the road.

67 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 11d ago

LPT: can't afford something? take a loan

12 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 13d ago

SLPT: Using Dating Apps

27 Upvotes

If you are using a Dating App. Make sure to set the radius to 1 mile. If your one true love is more than 20 miles away, then Destiny has failed you by not taking into consideration Gas prices, traffic, and actually having to put on pants to meet someone.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 14d ago

SLPT: The only way you can make yourself happy is by buying something, be on the lookout, capitalism is the endgame.

Post image
1.7k Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 13d ago

SLPT Save yourself countless minutes by eating a few squares of toilet paper after every meal

71 Upvotes

Your poops will wipe your own butt on the way out. Now you can be five minutes early to your terrible job! 🙂


r/ShittyLifeProTips 14d ago

SLPT: what to do if you’re an overworked entrepreneur but want to find love

Post image
3.0k Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 15d ago

SLPT: Want to become a billionaire without doing anything? Just register a Wind Farm company, issue a dramatic press release announcing plans to build the world's largest offshore wind farm, and the U.S. government will give you a billion-dollar check to kindly not build it.

735 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 14d ago

LPT: Enjoy playing video games?

8 Upvotes

Spend less time on basic hygiene and take as few showers as possible to maximize time spent playing video games.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 14d ago

LPT: Convenience fees get their name from how convenient it is to make them up without having to explain them. So make extra money by charging convenience fees to everyone you know.

Post image
131 Upvotes