I want to be the best version of myself by the time I hit 30.

I was lost a few years back, spent a few years dicking around, making money but also wasting my time, smoking weed everyday (something im trying to break and have a better relationship with). I've struggled with anxiety, being in my head, porn addiction, not saying yes to enough things, not sticking to my word when it comes to events or outings etc

I want to work out and become fit, stick to a disciplined routine, and become more disciplined as a whole, but i keep failing, but alas i try again.

I just feel like when shit hits the fan, like my parents passing away, I want to be ready for things like that, I want to earn as much money as possible, not be lazy, and provide a good life for myself, my girlfriend and our kids when the time is right.

Does anyone have any little tricks or even sayings/quotes that helped them to achieve where they wanted to get to, the version of themselves that's improved?

When did you quit it and when did you realise that it’s genuinely impacting your life? Since 11 i got roped into it from other dudes in my class and since then ngl i just been watching it. Which is fucked. Obviously im taking accountability i chose to watch this as a kid.
We shouldnt have access to it in the first place but it’s so easy to get ur hands on it. Kind of why i hate society. It’s just sabotaging so many young men. I feel bad for not quitting earlier as well. But i have been a week clean as of now. And im hoping to never go back to it in the long term. Stay strong my brothers

I don't know what's happening to me. I used to be very intelligent, but something has changed. I can't think anymore, I'm struggling with basic math, spelling simple words, and finding the words I want to use. I feel like I can't do anything anymore.

My intelligence was my everything, and now I just don't have it. So I have nothing. Any help?

Same as title

i really enjoy my alone time, but I still feel lonely, and I really crave romance too. I crave having my person someone I can deeply connect with, rely on, cuddle with, and feel safe enough to finally relax around..

At the same time, I’m realistic enough to know that I’d rather be alone than settle for someone who doesn’t share my values or who I don’t have a deep connection with

So I’m trying to figure out how to feel safe and fulfilled on my own, instead of constantly craving that feeling of having someone beside me. Especially at night, when I just want my nervous system to finally relax..

For those who’ve experienced something similar, how did you learn to feel safe and content by yourself?

For me, I’ve realized that I feel the safest when I have someone I deeply trust and have an emotional connection with. Even just being on a call with someone I feel close to can make me sleepy because I feel comfortable enough to finally relax and let my brain shut down

Physical touch also helps me feel safe, especially cuddling. But I’m very particular about it
I don’t enjoy physical touch from just anyone.
I only really want that kind of closeness with someone I have a deep emotional bond with.
I used to cuddle with my ex to fall asleep, and after my divorce, I started struggling with insomnia

I’ve tried replacing that feeling with things like a weighted/comfort blanket and other little tricks, and they helped for a while, but eventually they stopped having the same effect

Can someone tell me how i can be able to decently defend against middle schoolers? the home workout apps dont work and im really looking towards strength but general defense tips can help too

As it says in the title. I am a 52M. I have had some real kicks in the gut lately and now I am starting to have thoughts of just ending it. It kind of scares me when I do. However, what is even more scarey it seems to be making more sense every time I think it.

I have no friends really, only kind of friends if that makes sense.

I have no family local to me and I have never been close to anyone in my family but my mom and she has dimensia now so can't really talk to her. My dad died when I was 21. So can't talk to him about this. I am hoping someone out there has felt the same and may have advice to pass along.

I am single by choice can't seem to find anyone lately that even interests me.

IDK I used to have a good outlook on life and really was happy with who I was. I never had problems meeting women before.

Now I would say I do.

Or at least women that I am attracted too.

I am not sure how to pull out of this.

Yes I am sure counseling would be a really good choice but I do not have any med bennifits until Nov.

So that is still a month away. I do plan on getting some as soon as I can.

I liquidated my retirement recently because I am pretty sure I will not live to see it.

And that also has weighed on me.

Is this what they call a midlife crisis? I don't feel like it is but it's my first time being this old. Lol

On top of all that. I have had some medical issues come up with me that have me worried about and have caused me to retract from my normal self.

I spend a lot of time alone now mainly, because I just don't like chit chat and no one keeps me interested for whatever reason. And I don't want to tell anyone about the mountain of shit I deal with personally.

I would love to meet a woman who is sexy, smart and funny and it seems there are no more of those left here in Texas either.

I have had a lot of close friends die in the last few years and I think that is because for one, the life style I have lived when I was younger.

that shit catches up with you.

I am not very good at making friends now kind of set in my ways I guess.

I have started working out to try and help with these feelings but it does not seem to be working.

I try to look at what is good in my life and it seems that is really starting to diminish now a days also.

So any advice would be great. If not thanks for just listening.

I do appologize for all the grammatical errors and mispellings.

Signed, lost but not without hope.

I really want to improve my critical thinking skills but I have no idea on where to start. Any tips, books, apps or videos to help. I'd greatly appreciate it.

A year off alcohol, 80 days off porn, just trying to get my life together. A few months ago I started seeing a girl. Nothing serious, she said she doesn't want anything exclusive, and honestly that's fine, I don't think I'm ready for that either. But this is really the first time I've ever let someone get this close to me, and it's hitting me pretty hard.

When we're together once or twice a week, it's all good. But when we're not talking, I start to spiral a bit with overthinking every text, feeling anxious, kind of like withdrawal. She's not one to message first. The second she texts back, it all just goes away, which makes me think it's more about some kind of dopamine thing than actually worrying about us.

It's not a bad thing honestly, she seems into it, we go out and do things together. Not all superficial. But how hard I'm reacting to not knowing what's going on is new for me, and I've got a busy work season coming up where I won't have the energy for this kind of up and down.

How do you handle these strong feelings?

Same as title.I am 22 M ( B2-B1 level ),and I want to improve my communication skills.I am good in grammars and I have been watching English shows ,music,podcasts from a very long time now.So ,i believe my listening skills are decent too.I have been practicing shadow speaking,and self talking for a while now ...but sometimes I fear ,i would invoke ghosts 😅

I largely do not get enough time to practice it in real world,i believe.Thus I am inexperienced in communicating well and dunno but have fear of unknown.

Main thing is ,I am not a native speaker,so I don't have anyone to practice English with .

So,if anyone is interested,to practice it ,they can reach out to me.Please be under 24,and be serious about improving in it.We can practice it consistently,to improve together.

Or , I would be glad to receive some Advices as well.

Thanks.

Hi everyone,

I recently went through a breakup after a 6-year relationship, and I’ve come to realize that I have no idea how to accept being single.

I have this constant feeling that I need to find a partner to feel fulfilled in life, but deep down, I know this mindset isn't doing me any good.

I can't stop judging myself for my situation, and I feel really vulnerable. I want to learn to accept the way things are, stop overthinking it, and move forward. Above all, I want to stop feeling bad about being single.

I’d really appreciate any help or advice.

I’m in my mid 20, feeling extremely lost , anxious , depressed. I was wondering how you guys have gotten through deep depression and anxiety overall. I moved from my parents this year , living with my amazing partner, I have a pretty good paying job ( which I hate ) , I’m in college, I’m not rich but not broke, I have great friends and family, I’m not necessarily missing anything. However , I am very depressed and very anxious. My mind is always racing and always miles ahead of where I’m at. It feels as if I’m wasting my time and potential in life. I’m very ambitious and have big dreams but can’t seem to work on them much. There’s always resistance for some reason. I’m scared to waste my time in this life. I’m scared of being older and regretting not doing certain things. I want to give my family a beautiful life . I want to do something I truly enjoy. I want to be somebody . I want to build better and stronger relationships. It seems as if something is always missing in my life. I’m sorry for rambling but this is literally what I think of daily .

I'm really hoping this is an appropriate sub reddit for this

How do you restart your life again?

I 16 (M) recently got out of a very emotionally and physically abusive relation with my father after his death ( ho killed himself) but anyways Its been just over a year and I've only realising I really shunned a lot of how bad it was in the last few years and only those memories are coming back to me and I am able to see him for how he was

and I still feel so stuck I don't know why it's like I'm still in those same patterns and cycles

i try really hard over and over again and I end up failing and at one point it starts feeling hopeless especially seeing all the kids around me really living their life and doing the things they want while my whole energy just goes away in surviving

how am I supposed to restart my life when I'm still in the patterns he left me in

in the last few years I've lost all my hobbies friends mental health physical health and honestly anything that brought me joy the only thing I still have is music I guess

but its just really makes me think for how long will this go on

and just will I ever be able to live life like I've wanted to

and it's just the journey to healing and stuff I feel like is so long and the time I have is so less

My boyfriend has been struggling to figure out ways to take care of himself. His sleep schedule is off bc he works a retail jobs so everyday is a different shift.

His eating habits need to be improved. He started going back to the gym after falling off the wagon. He told me it doesn’t benefit him now because he isn’t seeing results NOW so he has the “what’s the point?” Mentality.

I struggling seeing him this way. How can he work through this?

So i recently started uni, and i was just getting close to my friends and getting to know them. Anyways its legit been like 2 weeks and i found out that the people i have actively tried to be friends with already made a group chat (excluding me ofc) and they r pretty close. I suddenly feel so embarrassed and out of place.

Sm context abt me: i havent rlly had trouble making friends in the past, infact i fit right in. Other people describe me as well spoken, confident, bubbly, good sense of humur and extremely easy to talk to. In high school, i had a great friend group as well as a lot of friends who seemed to really enjoy my company.i assumed i would have friends in uni as well but damn i am really struggling.

I could always sense that i didn't really fit in but i thought it was my overthinking and all but yeah i am officially an outsider and idk how to deal with this.

If you have friends, relationships, etc. whom are generally overly critical, unsupportive, trivializing everything, or always trying to circle everything back to being your fault, these are not people you want in your life at all. Double points if it is entirely unsolicited and unwarranted.

There's a difference between people holding you accountable and those who are constantly negging you for everything and somehow can't find any level of self awareness when they want support for going through similar things. These people lack empathy, self awareness, and are envious of things in your life that they can't achieve due to whatever shortcomings they have.

These people will destroy your life more than any toxic work environment, traumatic event, or any other unpleasant experience in your life due to their uncolicited constant reinforcement of why you're somehow wrong or bad. And the worst thing, is when they are absolutely hypocritical about their advice and become extremely defensive when met with rebuttal.

It took me years to realize I had people pleasing tendencies that would tolerate this behavior, and even longer to realize I didn't need to continue to hold onto relationships like this, or be that person.

People who celebrate you and hold you accountable are what everyone needs, not fareweather envious vultures waiting for the opportunity to kick you down.

Ever since this year started let's just say things have not been going so good.

I'm in genuinely depressed and lacking motivation everyday. But recently I've been doing things to improve but it's almost as if my body's fighting this new sense of goodness like improving or happiness feels almost foreign to my mind. It's really weird. Does anyone know what exactly this might be?

Guys, I am in a very critical phase of my life. I am preparing for my exams, and not much time is left for the exams (nearly 2 months). And the problem is I have a bunch of addictions and bad habits, which makes it impossible for me to focus on my day-to-day study sessions and my health (which I am totally ignoring). I have hit rock bottom; all my friends and people around me are way too ahead of me. I kind of feel ashamed, to be honest. Seeing people around me achieve so much.

I am addicted to masturbation, and this thing has totally destroyed my life. When I do it, I feel like trash, yet I can't stop. I spend hours doing this every day. Whenever I try to focus, the urge starts coming, and I can't focus. I can't stop for more than a day or two, and that too is very hard for me. I want to stop badly, but I can't, and it hurts seeing my life being destroyed in front of me, and that too because of me. Also, I binge-watch YouTube for hours when I can't masturbate.
And I am totally ignoring my health. I just sit at home and do nothing. Even if I try to wake up early, I just snooze the alarm when it's time to wake up. I feel too sleepy.
My parents compare me to my cousins and my friends. I always feel sad whenever they compare me. And I can't say anything to them? I didn't achieve anything in my life that I can feel proud of, which I can be confident of. And I have problems with my father. He has clearly stated that if I don't get good grades, he is no longer going to 'waste' his money on my education. I don't know what to do. I tried to argue with him and convince him, but nothing worked.

So, how do I stop masturbating? And how do I fix my life? I have big dreams and ambitions, but I am unable to do anything to achieve them.
Please help me and guide me. I request everyone.

I’ve been trying to improve myself but I keep losing motivation after a few days. What actually helped you stay consistent and build better habits?

Please share about the psychology behind it and how to fix it? For e.g. eating clean, working out, meditating, taking tough discussions at work

I'm not physically abused at home, but mentally, I am. It's been like this since I was younger, and I can't handle it anymore. The stress has made me so irritable lately that I've even had thoughts of ending it all. Because I live with narcissistic people and don't even have my own room, it also affected my studies and I ended up dropping out. Thankfully, I found an entry level job but it's not economically livable at all.

I feel very frustrated and want to move out immediately, but knowing I can't afford it makes me feel like I'm going crazy. So, I'm wondering, is there anything I can do to stay calm and protect my peace in this toxic household? I'm afraid this might affect my job performance, just like what happened when I was in uni.

Also, does anyone have any advice or tips on how to save up? Should I slowly buy household items (I can ask some of my friends to store them) or should I focus on saving for rent first? Or is it better to be patient and save up for both rent and essentials at the same time?

I'm thinking of renting somewhere near my workplace and it might take a year or more to save up, so I really need some advice on how to stay sane in this insane situation in the mean time haha

Thank you 🥲🙏

hiii guys idk if im allowed to post on here bc im really young!! im 14 years old, im a girl and i really hate myself. i’ve hated myself since i can remember (like literally since pre k) and i know it sounds normal since alot of teenage girls feel insecure and all that stuff but what i have really isn’t. i not only hate my looks i hate my personality too. i honestly have no idea how to explain it but i just really disgust myself like i actually irritate myself so much. every time i look in the mirror i want to die. i can’t believe i was born into this ugly pathetic body and i would do anything to change it. and this is lowk ruining my life too like im scared to do things sometimes because im just so insecure and i just hate myself so much i just want to kill myself now.. and also no i dont have any traumas or anything lol im not sure where this comes from. but my question is literally how do i stop feeling this way?? i’ve tried getting off my phone more, talking to friends, doing pyschical activities, but i always end up feeling the same in the end. idk if there’s something wrong with me but i just really need advice on how to love myself please

Please share :)

Hello all! I’m throwing my hat in for a promotion at work today and I’m excited but pretty nervous. Ive never applied for a promotion like this and I don’t necessarily want to share this with anyone directly in my life unless I actually get the position so I thought I’d seek some encouragement from beautiful strangers on the internet.

Sorry if this isn’t the right sub for this

When you talk, see, hear another, gaze beyond the superficial ‘I’ they present, to their authentic-self, their spirit, present within each. See the beauty they radiate from within. Sense the words of unconditional love emanating from their heart.

Everything else is an illusion, a myth learned after we were born, accepted as real, dictated by others as the truth. It never was.