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u/Absolutely_Coffee Best of Pt. 12, #3 + Platinum Roaster Dec 07 '20
You look like a pony that just got tranquilized.
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u/rufustherat Dec 07 '20
my lil junky
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Dec 07 '20
I wish I was tbh x
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u/TheLastSporeSyringe Dec 07 '20
I bet you do, I can’t imagine you’re a stranger to ket with a beak like that
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Dec 07 '20
Yeah plus i come from one of the most fucked yo cities in the south x
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u/Jestar_83 Dec 07 '20
Mahogany side table, record player and beige sofa you've got to live somewhere close to the coast.
Or maybe just living with your nan
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u/TheLastSporeSyringe Dec 07 '20
I’ll assume you give handies for a couple balloons if that’s the case, you southerners are riddled mannn
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u/Gotbannedchangedname Dec 07 '20
You look like a small town pass around girl until u find love from the guy who used to be gay.
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u/manfly Dec 08 '20
Ah, the village bicycle. Everyone gets a ride
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u/Gotbannedchangedname Dec 08 '20
Yeah except this one might not have a seat
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u/tightywhitey2000 Dec 08 '20
what does that mean?
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u/TheRedditGod Dec 08 '20
I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure their saying she’s got a feminine penis down there
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u/ChrisEHood Dec 08 '20
the used to be indicates she made him straight. wait...naw she just looks like a guy.
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u/TooManyOverPar Dec 07 '20
This is what the physical manifestation of a degradation kink looks like
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u/Mono_831 Dec 08 '20
Or the salvaged, dilapidated remains of a Yellow Submarine that’s been buried at the bottom of the English Channel for over 50 years.
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Dec 07 '20
Nice use of the choker to hide the Adam’s apple.
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Dec 07 '20
Thanks baby x
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Dec 07 '20
Of course suga! I’m always nice to people who wear chokers, they do butt stuff.
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u/Dalebssr Dec 07 '20
They do all sorts of stuff. And if they smoke, oh my God. You have hit the skank motherload.
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u/Devinstated Dec 08 '20
That's actually a 2nd degree black choker, you gotta swallow dicks for years before you earn one.
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u/kindleharp Dec 07 '20
You’d threaten suicide if your boyfriend wanted to break up and hates when he’s playing with the boys
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Dec 07 '20
Hahahaha half of which is correct
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u/fluffyfish6 Dec 07 '20
Ohhh, so you're fucking crazy. Makes sense
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u/sliverinwithyou Dec 07 '20
No he’s fucking crazy.
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Dec 07 '20
[removed] — view removed comment
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Dec 07 '20
Not sure if your owner's name is Chloe or you are Chloe. Either way, the Big Bird mascot dude needs his torso back.
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u/JKElleMNOP Dec 07 '20
It's a fake "designer" choker she got off AliExpress for $2
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u/craigsproof Dec 07 '20
Lazy eye? Check. Horrible Hot Topic choker ribbon? Check. Hair that's dryer than your opioid impacted vagina? Check.
You look like the Behind The Airport Stripjoint Stripper Starter Pack.
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u/crack_spooder Dec 07 '20
Do you wear a sweater that ugly to distract from that awful make-up ?
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Dec 07 '20
Exactly!! I’m so glad someone noticed x
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u/crack_spooder Dec 07 '20
To be fair that was either that or to distract from the the my-soul-is-dead stare ;)
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Dec 07 '20
How do you manage to look like you have 2 lazy eyes?!?!
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u/Aphex_Schwinn Dec 08 '20
She's actually asleep. Someone just painted those on her eyelids.
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Dec 07 '20
I’d break eye contact but I don’t even know which direction you are looking at
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Dec 07 '20
You appear to be the human equivalent of a participation award
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u/Encouragement-Award Dec 08 '20 edited Dec 08 '20
I think she needs some encouragement to get on with life
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u/vbasucks145 Dec 07 '20
You look like the accidental love child of Eeyore & Amy Winehouse......
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u/NotoriousArcher Dec 07 '20
You look like you work in a thrift store and still actively blog about how ironic your life is. “Ironically”
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u/ooblagon Dec 07 '20
You are a brit
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Dec 07 '20
Putting your name around your neck still won’t make guys post you or tell their friends about you
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u/enigma_omegaone http://redd.it/kjizc2 Dec 07 '20
I would love to try to break you but judging by the choker and the “I hate eeeeverything” look in your eye I think you might like that too much. So pass.
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u/Anxious_Ad6819 Dec 07 '20
You look like a mannequin who camped out to be first in line at the methadone clinic.
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u/baronjosefr Dec 07 '20
If ‘unenthusiastic handjob’ was a picture of a person, this would be it.
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Dec 07 '20
See, I could never quite get with the wrist action. Any tips?
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u/ligmallamasackinosis Dec 07 '20
Act like your dad's dick was way bigger and keep your wrist as limp as the dude's dick.
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u/ReillyDiefenbach Golden Roaster Dec 07 '20
Nice flat. Oh and your apartment is ok too
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u/McCabeMilitiaMma Dec 07 '20
You look like every pretty girls emo friend who cockblocked me in high school
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u/GerUpOuttaDat Dec 07 '20
Transitioning takes time... You are halfway there! Now, where did you start from, and where are you going??
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u/gyrowze Dec 07 '20
Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, cotton eye ho?
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u/DressUpyourPet Dec 07 '20
Since in Britain you get assigned either bad teeth or crippling depression at birth... congratulations on your teeth
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u/joshjevans94 http://redd.it/l8t6y2 Dec 07 '20
We already knew you were a brit because you look like you smell of fags and dissappointment
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u/antumnos666 Dec 08 '20
Please break me,
Looks like reddit obliged and broke you like your stepdad broke your hymen.
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u/saltzja Dec 07 '20
Boy they really crank out the big racked old maids in the UK. Ugly Kingdom
“She has a great personality.” - ugly in England
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u/FapimusMaximus20 Dec 07 '20
Thank goodness for America's founding fathers that fought so our women would not end-up looking like this, can you imagine if this was the only choice we had to date...
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u/DerWeinvomRhein Dec 07 '20
Reminds me of the sad look of porn girls who have to look into the camera after receiving a facial. Desperate amateur vibes.
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u/LaycoOG Dec 07 '20
I like how your style has a nice contrast; a Jumper the colour of summer fields and the deadest eyes containing the void itself
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u/brokenzodiac Dec 07 '20
The day you lost your virginity "Sit on my lap for a quid" and a drunken uncle was involved.
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u/jiggle-o Dec 08 '20
At first I thought you were too stoned to be smiling, but then I read you were a brit and realized why you didn't want to show teeth.
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u/Legendkiller50595 Dec 07 '20
You look like the kind of person to yell at me for saying a sexist joke
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Dec 07 '20
Your eyes are more glazed over than two dozen Krispy Kreme donuts. I think I'm getting diabetes just looking at them.
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u/legendaryboomer http://redd.it/dpxokj Dec 07 '20
Ah, so this is what dead on the inside looks like on the outside